#YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HE'S LITERALLY SO BABY WHAT
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Hii!! Love your writing!!
I wanted to ask if you have any hc about the lads men as fathers? For example, my hc was that Xavier is a boy dad that makes sure his kid will not end up listening to those "alpha podcasts" because he sets the example of a gentle yet "i slayed over 70,000 wanderers", kind yet assertive man. HOWEVER, since the level 175 affinity interaction came out, I'm 100% hes a girl dad raising his daughter to be a strong and independent woman (like the MC he loves dearly). What do you think?
[ my first ask! yahooo! thank you, pookie! I'll give you my thoughts in general (a big mix of everything) but if anyone wants one of the boys in more detail then feel free to ask because I have more to share! ]
Xavier
Alright maybe this is a hot take but I don't think he wants children, like at all.
Xavier does NOT like sharing. He's literally jealous of himself for goodness sake and he really, reaaaally, does not want to share you, especially not with clingy children that would take almost if not all of your attention and also his sleep.
In-game he's also shown to not be super fond of children in general which I find hilarious.
He's lived a long life, sacrificed everything and everyone for you, and spent the rest of his years searching for you. He believes he has the right to be a bit selfish and keep you to himself. Let's be honest, he's earned it.
Zayne
He does want children, but he is the type to plan for it. And I mean *plan*.
Out of everyone, he understands the best what it means for both your body and mental health the changes pregnancy would bring (including the chance of postpartum depression and other complications) so there would be a looooong discussion before anything happened.
When putting together the nursery it's like he's preparing for the apocalypse and not a baby "We might need this" (you won't be needing it), "This was made with [chemical], it could be toxic for you or the baby." "Zayne, it's just a plastic spoon."
Absolutely not as cool as he leads you to believe. You have this man stressed™ but he is so, soooo patient.
He'd be very serious about follow-up appointments and he'll make time for the both of you no matter what.
GIRL DAD ! GIRL DAD ! GIRL DAD !
100% victim of waking up covered in silly drawings and bows in his hair but he says before him than his poor white walls.
You have your hands full monitoring these two that love to sneak around and stuff their cheeks full like hamsters with sweets.
Sylus
Now this man wants a whole LITTER if you'll let him.
Hear me out: TRIPLETS. Oooor, twins with a younger sibling right after. Maybe one more if you are really brave.
This was not planned at all, but when you tell him he's so happy he'd be in actual tears while hugging you.
Luke and Kieran are over the moon about it too. They'd be so cute with the children because they get to be big bros now and they take their role very seriously.
Sylus would pull out his phone or coat and it would be covered in cute stickers. He takes no action in getting rid of it though because he loves it.
Those children are S P O I L E D. You have to take the role of saying no otherwise he'd take over the world just because his baby asked to be queen of the world on a random Thursday.
Rafayel
I think he's on the same boat as Xavier but for different reasons.
I have some...perhaps...controversial takes on this little guy in general so I'll leave it open for your interpretation hehe
love him though<3
Caleb
I know I know everyone says he'd be the best girl dad but PLEASE pleaaaase give this man a little boy.
If you think women's baby fever are bad just wait until you see Caleb's
He would draw on your belly bump where he thinks the baby is and talk to him even while you're asleep
This guy is taking lessons about pregnancy, how to support you during birth and he is 100% in one of those moms group chat.
"Caleb we do not need another onesie—" "But look! Look how cute it is! Oh, and the little hat? C'mon angel, please?" (Ban him from shopping by himself because he comes back with WAY too many things you do not need)
He loves and I mean LOVES matching clothes. From silly costumes, to pajamas and outside outfits.
So. Many. Pictures. He takes pictures all the time to keep them as memories because if something were to happen where you or he lost their memories again then they'd forever be preserved :(
[ I have so much more to say about this but maybe I'll just make a separate post for each of them ]
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#lads x reader#lads#caleb love and deepspace#lads caleb#caleb x reader#lads rafayel#rafayel love and deepspace#rafayel x reader#lads xavier#xavier love and deepspace#xavier x reader#lads zayne#zayne love and deepspace#zayne x reader#love and deepspace sylus#sylus x reader#lads sylus#lads fluff
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bfhamzah headcanons - part 2 ( gnreader )
a.n: my god i was not expecting allat on my first post, thank uuu sm have some more fun w my rambling (slightly suggestive & reader is referred to as gf/wife)
part 1
in part one i briefly talked about how hamzah texts you a lot, and i stand my ground on that. he def spams you with the most random things. if he encounters a funny thing on the street, he immediately takes his phone out and sends you a photo. wait, did hamzah just thought about a really bad joke that is not funny in the slightest? he's proudly texting you it with no context at all. sometimes you're sitting in the same room, both on your silent phone time, and he's just repeatedly sending you brainrot reels, laughing to himself. oh, and you better watch them and the tiktoks he sends you, because he will reference them later and be dramatic about it if you don't understand it. "hi im ol- ol- oliver" "what?" "you don't know what i'm talking about? babe, no. i literally sent you the og tiktok!" ohh he's going to be salty about it.
onto that, i don't think he's the biggest pet name user. i think he prefers to call you by a nickname only he has for you—he thinks it makes him more special. once, martin tried to call you by that same nickname during a video, and hamzah just side eyed him and went "dude, no. stop.” occasionally, he will call you babe or baby in situations where he's attention seeking, half-asleep, high, trying to win your affection back after pestering you for too long... but that's also what he calls you during those moments, when his mind is foggy with different thoughts, and constant stimulation steal his ability to self-control. anything other than babe or baby, i can see it lowkey making him cringe
something corny that def doesn't make him cringe though is matching clothes—oh, this man loves it. and i don't mean subtle matching. yk those iconic t-shirts hamzah and martin constantly wear? the ones he buys to match with you are like that—white t-shirt with black letters saying 'i think they're hot' with an arrow each pointing to different sides. he for sure has asked you to wear that shirt with him for a youtube video, and made you sit so the arrow on his shirt pointed to you, and yours to him. has bought himself the ‘i love my gf’ black hoodie and wears the ‘i don't need an encyclopedia my wife knows it all’ t-shirt more often now that you're dating. don’t worry tho he let's you choose normal matching clothes as well
he can be a very silly bf, specially in public where he feels too exposed to be vulnerable, however, deep down he’s so so sweet, so caring. mumbled confessions against your neck late at night, hamzah tells you things weighted with such love it puts you under some daze. it’s not so easy for him to be in such vulnerable state, his words come out messy and shy, but the fact he tries nonetheless gives his voice a certain rawness—there’s no room for you to doubt his words
his heartfelt ‘i love you’s are always heard during these moments. repeated over and over, in between kisses, one no more genuine than the other. hamzah feels every word in ‘i love you’, and so do you, so they’re more reserved for times like these. that doesn't mean you ever separate ways without a quick "love you" with a peck though, that's an essential for him.
you are so important to hamzah, like actually so important it’s in everything he does. it’s in the way he does his groceries thinking about what you’d want, in case you come over; it’s in the way every other concern is pushed aside the moment he sees you; it’s in the way his house is covered in evidence of your presence; and in how he cannot stop posting you—be it on tiktok, youtube, or wtv
something else the fans noticed during a video is how he keeps a polaroid of you two on his phone case—a selfie of you next to each other, camera too close to your faces but that still managed to capture your laughing fit and his grin. it’s cute, and even tho it was a moment between js the two of you, the picture clearly conveys the love you have for each other.
after some time dating, youtube gets flooded with compilations of your relationship. ‘hamzah annoying name for 15 minutes straight’. ‘every clip of Hamzah being absolutely in love WARNING: long video.’ ‘moments where name and hamzah openly flirted in front of the camera.’
extras!
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literally had no idea on what to put on the brainrot line.. i havent been keeping up w brainrot also im so obsessed with every photo of him included in this post
#🗻.hamzah#🗻.headcanons#hamzahthefantastic#hamzah the fantastic#hamzah x reader#hamzah x y/n#hamzahthefanatasticxreader#hamzah fluff#hamzah smau#hamzah fic#hamzah hc#hamzah imagines#slushy noobz#slushy virus#4freakshow#out of character podcast
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how seventeen help their s/o who's scared of the dark
requested by @klmllr ! sorry for getting to this so late </3
PLEASE REMEMBER TO REBLOG WHAT YOU LIKE ‼️
masterlist
seungcheol
puffs his chest out and squares up like he's about to fight the shadows to protect you when you tell him you're scared of the dark. very much goes into “dw babe, i’ll keep you safe” mode. all the lights in his house are voice controlled, so all you have to do is yell “turn on the [insert room] lights” and they'll automatically turn on for u so u don't have to wander around his house in the darkness. and when the power goes out at night, he's totally more than ready to have you cling to him like a koala bear for the entire time until you feel relaxed enough to fall asleep in his arms
jeonghan
you're scared of the dark? like, actually actually scared of the dark? he's not making fun of u, it's just that this means he can't play any pranks on u by going “boo!” in the middle of the night like he wanted to :( it's no fun when you're actually terrified, yk? he's actually super good at helping u thru power outages. tells you silly stories to take your mind off the dark, and has a whole drawer in his bedside table full of torches and extra batteries ready at his disposal to provide you with some light so ur not too afraid.
joshua
never ever ever leaves ur side in the evening when you're together. like even if you're walking down the street after a date and it's actually quite a well-lit main road, he's not letting go of ur hand at all and sticks vvv close to your side. he's not going to leave you for one second, no sir, not him. power outages at his house are never a big deal, because he has so many fairy lights strung up and candles and battery-powered lamps at the ready to light up your life so you're not left in the dark. never let it be said that joshua hong is an inattentive boyfriend.
junhui
you sheepishly admit that you're kind of embarrassed to still be scared of the dark even after so many years, and he just blinks at u bc. what. that's a totally valid fear to have. who knows what could be hiding in the dark??? he does his best to rid you of your fears tho, encouraging u to talk thru your thoughts with him as you lie together in bed, the door cracked open only the slightest bit. his nonsensical reasoning and the way he manages to reshape all the dark creatures in ur mind into silly and cute shapes really does help you calm down.
hoshi
you're scared of the dark????? nooo wait that's actually so cute :(((( pls he actually can't take this wdym ur fear is the dark??? that's the cutest thing ever </3. kinda just thinks that's super adorable of u tbh. you complain that it sounds like he's making fun of u but he rly doesn't mean it like that!!!!! it's just so cute that out of all the phobias in the world, what you're most scared of is. blackness. you pinch him for saying that bc hey >:(( it's a real and valid fear ok. he gets it tho and when it gets super dark, he's always the one to cling to you first to reassure u he's there for u
wonwoo
dw about it baby. he makes enough money that you can leave all the lights on 24/7 so don't even fret over that for a second, okay? ‘most prepared bf’ award has to go to him because not only does he buy lamps, torches, fairylights etc etc in case of a power outage, but he also invests in solar panels and energy storage electric battery banks so he always has energy spare to power some lights so you never have to sit in the dark. he's the light of your life, literally, bc you never have to worry about the darkness when he's near
woozi
pretends to not be scared of the dark for ur sake but man. sometimes it's really hard. he totally understands ur fear of the darkness and while he's cringing in fear on the inside, he stays gentle and calm for u, taking you through breathing exercises and offering to show u what he's working on on his laptop to take both your minds off of ur fears. however, strangely enough, being with you has helped his fear of the dark begin to lessen also. as he becomes more focused on taking care of you, his own terror seems to melt away, as he focuses only on you and how to make you feel better.
minghao
switches on all the lamps, puts in a classical music cassette into his cassette player, hauls you to your feet and starts dancing with you across the living room to take your mind off any fears you may be having. teaches you silly little dance steps bc having to concentrate on learning choreo means your brain doesn't have time to start conjuring imaginary fears. not when minghao's hand is warm in yours and his voice is soft and all you can feel is his guiding touch as he directs you to move with the music. it's terribly romantic, really. only minghao could turn your fear into the sweetest memory of all.
mingyu
you've never told him about ur fear of the dark before so when the power cut happens, you scream super loud. this prompts mingyu to scream too, making you scream again, and then he screams also and then you scream too, going round in a cycle until you're shaking with fear and are too scared to scream. scaredy cat mingyu x you who's scared of the dark is a terrible combo, but he eventually calms down, turns on his flashlight and makes his way over to u, apologising profusely. makes sure he's always prepared for the next power outage so u guys never have to have an impromptu screaming match again
dokyeom
oh no :(((( dw sweetheart he's there to help u thru any worries u have!! lowkey understands your fear of the dark very well bc like. who knows what can be hiding in the pitch black darkness?? has sooo many of those battery powered lamps at his disposal already but when you moved in with him, the amount only increased bc like hell is he not gonna be The Most Prepared Boyfriend Ever. scoops you up in his arms and sings softly to u to take ur mind off the darkness when the power goes out. he's so warm, and you can feel the vibrations when he sings, and it's so comforting that you actually end up falling asleep against him
seungkwan
tbh he's kinda scared of the dark too, especially when it's the kind of pitch blackness that comes with a power outage, so he totally gets u. the two of you huddle together in the middle of the bed, blankets pulled tight around you, pretending that you're not shaking with fear. fortunately, though, the experience is always marginally better bc seungkwan is by your side — even though he's shaking like a leaf, he's still warm and grounding against you, and you just know that it would feel 10x more terrifying if you didn't have him here.
vernon
buys you different shaped night lights every year on your birthday as a way of showing his support for u. they inhabit different areas of the house and act as like guiding lights for u whenever the power goes out. the crescent moon shaped one sits on your bedside table; the glowing, spinning globe resides in the living room; the squishy lying-down goose is splayed out in the study. even tho they're a pain to turn off bc every single one of them is battery powered with the tiny switches that hurt his hands to get to, he makes sure to diligently do so once you've fallen asleep so the battery lasts til the next day so u can use them again
chan
helps you through your fear of the dark by loudly talking to you about anything and everything he can think of as he hugs you tight. it certainly provides good enough distraction, bc his voice is so animated and captivating that u can't pay attention to anything else apart from what he's saying. it only occurs to him a long while later that he can, like. buy lights. to help you. and he doesn't have to help just by talking loudly to u in the dark. almost buys out the entire lights section in ikea before seungkwan stops him and tells him to just get the highest wattage bulbs he can find
request guidelines
reactions tags: @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @newgirlygirl @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @wonranghaeee @yonabutnotyuna @crackedpumpkin @wqnwoos @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @icyminghao @valenhui @sweet-like-caramel @odxrilove @kyeomyun @chansburgah @pepperonijem @kellesvt @kikohao @astrozuya @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @starshuas @all-american-fangirl @f1uffyjun @sea-moon-star @nonononranghaee @isabellah29 @mcu-incorrect @hrts4hanniehae @suraandsugar @pan-de-seungcheol @dokyeomkyeom @melodicrabbit @bananabubble
#fairyhaos.works#seventeen#svt#seventeen fic#seventeen drabble#seventeen headcanons#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#svt fluff#scoups#seungcheol#jeonghan#joshua#hong jisoo#junhui#hoshi#wonwoo#woozi#jihoon#minghao#the8#mingyu#dokyeom#seokmin#seungkwan#hansol#vernon#dino
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I literally don't even know if I can pick out my favorite parts because I would literally just be copying and pasting THE ENTIRE FUCKING THING.
It's suffocating; a prison of his own making, brick after brick cemented by fear, bars forged in the white-hot fires of regret. Every cell, every corridor, every inch serves a reflection of his self-destruction. And the key? Lost, or perhaps never truly deserved in the first place.
oh. What a gut-wrenching description of his grief. This is just beautifully descriptive and tangible, it's as if I can feel it too.
"Don't make this worse." "Worse for who, Logan?" you challenge, bitter like he's never heard. But you've had enough. Enough with the walls, the shields, the self-inflicted exile. "Because this– it's killing you. And it's killing me too." Gently, your hand grazes his own, and when he doesn't flinch, you try once again. "Please."
*flails*
Logan sinks onto the couch, its springs groaning under the weight of his misery. He examines his hands, rough and calloused, capable of inflicting severe damage, yet completely useless in holding onto the one thing he truly cares about.
Logan, baby. I love it when authors focus on Logan's hands and his perceptions of how those hands are weapons. I truly believe he sees those hands as something vile, only capable of destruction, and this just captures that so beautifully.
"It's not your fault. None of it. I know you did everything you could," you murmur, thumbing away a stray tear. Relief warms his heart, a feeling he recognises as wholly genuine. And it comes solely from you, untouched by your powers. "I don't need to say this, but I will, for you." With a deep breath, you dispel the demons and monsters plaguing his soul in four simple words: "I forgive you, baby." The iron band around his chest loosens its grip, and Logan takes his first breath all over again. Still mindful of your injury, he gathers you into his arms with a force that nearly throws you off balance.
That's love right there. She recognizes and understands his grief and knows what he needs at that moment. Oh, to be loved like that.
Thank you so much for sharing; this was gorgeous. ❤️
COME BACK BABY PLEASE - L.H.
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Summary: When it comes to you, Logan would do anything - even break his own heart.
Pairing: Logan Howlett x Female Reader
Warnings: Mature themes (masturbation) 18+ only, Angst (with happy ending), Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual pining (but Logan's a stubborn fool), Empath!Reader
A/N: For @lubdubology's and @yxtkiwiyxt's Loveuary Challenge (great idea btw)! The prompt was DoFP!Logan + We Belong Together by Mariah Carey. Also, I hit 500 followers last week and I'm floored, honestly. Thank you so much for all the love and support! Now, back to this gorgeous man.
MASTERLIST
Logan fucks himself into his fist.
Because there you are, latched onto his mind like some parasite.
Iron, harsh and metallic in taste, blooms on his tongue as his jaw locks. A piss-poor attempt to crush the memories of sun-kissed smiles, of tangled fingers - of your love.
It's like holding water in a sieve, you slip through his defenses, elusive and inevitable. He loathes himself truly for possessing such a traitorous heart.
And still, beneath all that armour, it's you he reaches for.
But he doesn't touch you. Can't touch you. Not when you're living and breathing again just beyond his door, as if he hadn't felt your body go limp between his arms, his trembling pleas silenced by a last kiss, an "I love you" murmured against cold lips.
As if you hadn't died.
Jean notices first. Though she'd sworn off trespassing on anyone's mind, least of all his, it's hard not to. His thoughts are loud, but his agony screams louder. It seems even the kids whisper amongst themselves in the hallways - Professor Logan, their beloved hero, now a man adrift.
Everything becomes awfully clear as Charles explains - the reality a lightning strike so blinding it jolts the room. The time travelling, the ever-present fear of failure, the responsibility he'd shouldered in solitude–
You're an idiot.
Jean's voice rings in his head, unwelcome yet painfully true. His eyes lift, her subtle nod drawing his attention to you. And he'd rather flay himself alive, unsheathe his claws into his own chest, than brave the unwavering love written in your tear-filled gaze.
Just talk to her. You're only hurting yourselves–
Stay outta this, Red.
She's right, he knows it. But knowing and doing are two different beasts entirely. Because now, you're here, and here is a minefield. One mistake, one single moment of weakness, and the nightmare could swallow him whole once again.
Stupidly, Logan avoids you.
Mornings are the most torturous. He remembers chasing your lips as you slipped from his embrace only to be drawn back. The sheets would pool around your waist, barely clinging to your frame as you stretched lazily.
Utterly captivated, he'd watch as you moved about, gathering your things, playfully dodging his kisses between buttons and zippers. "If you keep distracting me, I'll never make it to class on time," you'd laugh, followed by his teasing: "That's the fuckin' point, darlin'."
That's how it used to be.
Now, he paces his room, attuned to the creak of your floorboards, the rustle of your clothes, the unmistakable hitch in your footsteps as you perhaps hesitate by his door.
Maybe today, he thinks. Maybe today, you'll storm inside, fists pounding against the walls around his heart, demand answers and finally scream at him for the coward he is.
Much like yesterday, all the days and weeks before, you never do. And that, Logan realises, is the cruellest curse of all.
It's suffocating; a prison of his own making, brick after brick cemented by fear, bars forged in the white-hot fires of regret. Every cell, every corridor, every inch serves a reflection of his self-destruction. And the key? Lost, or perhaps never truly deserved in the first place.
If nothing else, shame doesn't choke him as harshly in here; dull in the way it gnaws at him. Logan closes his eyes, conjuring you between his legs as he's sprawled on his back, one hand gripping his cock, the other fisted in the sheets.
Within minutes, everything blurs. Like shattered glass, fragments of your lives crash and collide. His vision whites out for a heartbeat, then slowly returns, leaving him limp and spent in the darkness.
And then, nothing.
Just a shuddering sigh tinged with disgust. Wet smears on his palm. A small, pathetic offering to some patron saint of loneliness.
You don't remember the last kiss.
Was it in the kitchen, his fingers on your nape, the counter waking all sorts of purples and blues across your back? Maybe on his motorcycle, the engine dying as he dismounted, leather and gasoline twisting in the air? Or perhaps something else entirely?
A silken thread spun from longing unwinds, stretching and stretching through the fog of time; it frays, it thins, it threatens to snap, leaving behind a faint echo.
When was the last time Logan kissed you?
Rain lashes against the windowpanes, moonlight spilling across the floor in flimsy slants. A hollow reminder of his absence, the dent on your mattress glares back rudely. The weight of his bones, the warmth of his skin, his fading presence - reduced to nothing but a shallow impression on the foam.
You remember other moments, though. Lazy days, the kind where he'd rise first, propping himself on an elbow, hair spiking in twenty-odd directions. Sometimes he'd be content with just admiring you, simply ghosting knuckles across your cheek. And sometimes, those fingers would slip lower and lower while he'd mumble all sorts of filth into the valley between your breasts, chasing your sweet dreams away.
Then, there were times when you'd return from missions, bruised and hacked to pieces, but very much alive. And in no more than three strides, his arms would curl around your waist, all fierce and protective. Home had never felt so precious - so real - as it did in those moments.
So, when was the last time Logan kissed you? And did it even matter anymore, when he's so determined to erase you from his life?
As luck would have it, sleep plays the spiteful mistress tonight, taunting glimpses of oblivion only to snatch them away. Across the hallway, Logan's room offers no comfort either, creaking bedsprings, muffled thuds, a growl - more animal than human - rips through the noise.
He's at it again.
Another restless night, grief rolling off him in thick, asphyxiating waves. It bleeds through the walls, and you know, instinctively, he's reliving everything. You need to help him.
What if you only make it worse? What if your touch only deepens the wounds?
Fuck it.
Six steps separate him from you. Six steps you consider crossing every day. Six steps that might as well be infinite. But now, six steps are simply six steps. Trembling, you gently push his door inward.
Clothes litter the floor, cigar boxes lay scattered amongst the clutter on the nightstand, and a trail of empty Jim Beams leads to the rumpled figure on the bed. If your presence startles him, he betrays nothing - his stillness a deliberate barrier, his back a silent rejection of your intrusion.
"Logan?"
No answer comes, just the ragged, uneven rhythm of his breathing. Carefully, you navigate around discarded boots, jeans - and who knows what else - until your knees bump the edge of his mattress.
Tension crackles in the air, and thrumming beneath is a raging current of heartache, a frequency you know all too well. Nights like this have been a constant ever since you've known him.
The first time had knocked you sideways. He'd been much younger then, more vulnerable. More trusting too, in your abilities, in the connection you'd found in each other. Through long, dark hours, through tremors and tears, you'd absorbed the worst of it, steady hands bearing the brunt of his suffering.
"You're shaking..." Hesitantly, as if approaching a frightened deer, your fingertips brush his shoulder. Then, with a slow, reluctant creak of his neck, he turns. Dark circles obscure red-rimmed eyes, haunted and hollow as they find you. He looks broken. More broken than you've ever seen before. "Oh, Logan," you breathe.
He stares, unblinking and effectively mute as if you've materialised from the very air he'd been choking on for weeks. Confusion flickers across his features, quickly shrouded by something grim, something guarded.
"You shouldn't be here," he finally croaks, dismissive in ways that are suspiciously akin to fear. With me. That's what he's really saying.
"I know you're hurting," you whisper, fighting tears that streak down your cheeks anyway. "Let me help you. Let me take your pain away."
A scoff, sharp and unfamiliar, cuts your words. And for a moment, the man before you becomes unrecognisable - a stranger wearing his skin. "Go away, sweet–" Logan snarls, the near-spoken endearment on the verge of escape before his jaws snap shut. He looks away, almost ashamed, scowling at some unseen point across the room. "Just... go."
"I can't."
"Don't make this worse."
"Worse for who, Logan?" you challenge, bitter like he's never heard. But you've had enough. Enough with the walls, the shields, the self-inflicted exile. "Because this– it's killing you. And it's killing me too." Gently, your hand grazes his own, and when he doesn't flinch, you try once again. "Please."
Hope, a fragile little thing, flutters behind the hazel you've long adored. Logan doesn't resist as you settle beside him, instead falling into a much-needed embrace. Warmth seeps into his chilled body, stress ebbing, hard edges softening. He buries his face into your neck, inhaling deeply for the peace he so desperately craves.
From the dark vines of his nightmares, shadowy figures extend scorching hands, poking the edges of his consciousness. And like always, your powers banish them completely, drawing visions of happier times in their absence. Memories, perfectly curated, lovingly held.
His arms tighten around you, pulling you flush against his chest. Like melted wax, Logan molds himself to your touch. For a long time, you simply exist together, soaking in this closeness, this feeling of home. Two puzzle pieces have never fit so well.
"I don't need your help," he mutters into your shoulder, soft and unsure, as if he doesn't believe his own words.
A small, watery chuckle lures his gaze to yours, you offer a kind smile, damp lashes pillowing the affection in your eyes. "I know," you whisper, running a gentle hand through his dark tresses, lingering a little longer by those grey streaks you adore. "But you're letting me anyway." The corners of his mouth twitch in response.
He doesn't speak again, and neither do you. Words feel superfluous, inadequate as the night carries on. Eventually, sleep begins to claim you both, inviting dreams of a tomorrow painted in the colours of a rekindled love.
Dawn arrives, like clockwork, creeping its invasive presence through the curtains. Disoriented, your fingers brush the space beside you, encountering only the cold, vacant sheets.
It's not a surprise, not really.
Old habits, especially Logan's, die hard.
Tires scream against asphalt, and Logan's pissed. The engine growls angrily, replicating the simmering tension rattling his very skeleton. His grip remains unyielding on the wheel, knuckles bone-white, veins protruding.
"That was reckless, and you know it." His tone is clipped, barely controlling the razor-sharp irritation he's unbothered to hide. Darkening roads ahead borrow his attention, as if the blurred lines are the only thing maintaining his composure.
The mission had been a success, technically. But the phantom impact of the debris nearly crushing you still has his adrenaline jacked.
"I'd do it all over again, and you know it," you snap back, daring in the face of his obvious fury.
"For fuck's sake!" Logan bangs his fist against the steering wheel, the horn blaring for a brief second. "Don't you have any concern for your life?" He doesn't understand your blatant disregard for safety. It's that goddamn martyr complex of yours, always prioritising everyone else. Even if you did manage to save innocent civilians from the collapsing building.
"Don't act like you care!" The venom in your words stings more than he'd ever admit. How can you say that? To him, of all people. "Pull over."
"What?" He shoots you a glance in disbelief, a little afraid even. The request is so absurd, so completely out of left field, he wonders, momentarily, if his mind's playing tricks.
"Pull. Over." You enunciate with a chilling calmness, and somehow that terrifies him more than any outburst. Denial flares in his throat, a knee-jerk reaction waiting for a trigger, but his breath catches, strangled by the sudden movement of your hand curling around the door handle.
The threat is extremely evident. And he just knows you'd do it. Logan slams on the breaks, the car swerves violently before coming to a harsh stop. "What the hell's your problem?"
"My problem is you, Logan. You and your self-sacrificing bullshit! I'm done," you croak. It's not about the mission, he realises with a nauseating lurch in his stomach. It's about everything.
You’re done?
He stares, dumbfounded, frozen to the core until you're unbuckling your seatbelt. "What're you doing?" Desperate, but he doesn't care.
"Walking."
"No the fuck you're not. Safe house's another four miles."
"Good." Cold air rushes in once you exit the car and slowly increase the distance from where Logan sits, alone and upset.
He drove the four miles to the safe house at a snail's pace, fighting the instinct to veer off course and find you. Beg you for forgiveness.
The house was dark and empty when he arrived. With the flickering hope that perhaps you'd reached before him, Logan checked every room. Twice.
Three hours. Three agonising hours since you'd disappeared along an off-beaten path aside the main road. Three hours of replaying the argument, the accusation in your eyes, the finality in your words.
"Goddammit. God-fucking-dammit."
Possibilities, each more gut-wrenching than the last, churn in his mind. You could be hurt. Lost. Captured. Or worse - a thought so unthinkable he tries to shy away.
What if this was it? What if his relentless pushing had finally worn you down, despite the twisted, fucked up part of him that wanted you to fight?
Logan sinks onto the couch, its springs groaning under the weight of his misery. He examines his hands, rough and calloused, capable of inflicting severe damage, yet completely useless in holding onto the one thing he truly cares about.
Suddenly, the steady hiss of running water startles him. Then, it registers. Running water. Like a moth to a flame, he reaches the bathroom in record time, hesitating for a beat before sliding the door open. As the steam clears, Logan stiffens at the scene.
Perched on the edge of the tub, one leg submerged in the water, the other stretched out before you, you stay facing away from him. Wet strands of your hair cling to your neck and shoulders, the damp t-shirt you'd been wearing beneath your suit revealing a faint outline of your bra straps.
A small pouch, one you always carry with emergency supplies, sits open on the floor, its contents spilling out: bandages, antibacterial wipes, sutures - and blood. A thin, crimson line trails down your calf, turning the water a faint, unsettling shade of pink.
"You're bleeding," he says lamely, attempting to quell the guilt - and bile - rising up his throat.
Weary eyes meet his own, but there's something else there. Defiance? Resignation? He can't quite decipher it. "Popped a few stitches," you reply, detached, matter-of-fact. "I'm not the best medic." That's very much known to him, yet your wry shot at humour falls undeniably flat.
Logan kneels beside the tub, fixed on the uneven, inflamed wound you're tending to. It screams of pain and neglect. His neglect. "Let me," he whispers softly. "Please."
And to your credit, you don't oppose his efforts. No winces, no protests, no sounds; he doesn't know what to make of that, instead, working in a meticulous fashion, throwing every stitch with deliberate care.
The minutes tick by, slow and heavy. And after what feels like an eternity, the last stitch is in place, a small knot securing everything together. Sitting back on his heels, Logan doesn't withdraw his touch from your thigh, inspecting his handiwork with a saddened gaze.
"I miss our old life."
Your voice, quiet and laced with an unapologetic yearning, torches the silence, and with it, the remnants of his weakening defenses.
"I'm sorry," he says, tearfully. "For pushing you away. For being an asshole. For letting you... die. I'm sorry for everything."
There's a long pause. Logan contemplates granting you space, giving you the distance he'd so readily forced all along. But then, your hand finds the curve of his cheek, halting his retreat.
"It's not your fault. None of it. I know you did everything you could," you murmur, thumbing away a stray tear. Relief warms his heart, a feeling he recognises as wholly genuine. And it comes solely from you, untouched by your powers. "I don't need to say this, but I will, for you." With a deep breath, you dispel the demons and monsters plaguing his soul in four simple words: "I forgive you, baby."
The iron band around his chest loosens its grip, and Logan takes his first breath all over again. Still mindful of your injury, he gathers you into his arms with a force that nearly throws you off balance.
"I'm right here," you continue, muffled against his shoulder. "I’m alive because of you. So, I'm asking you to come back. Come back to me, Logan."
Tentatively, he tilts his head down, capturing your lips with a reverence so implicitly him. Not even the sweetest nectar could compare to the taste of your love. For it is, quite simply, everything.
#klloveuary2025#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x fem!reader#dofp!logan x reader#dofp!logan#logan x you
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BABY KARASU BABY KARASU BABY KARASU BABY KARASU I MIGHT CRY
This hurt my heart
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Sweets I love you so much
Also this panel gives me deja vu cause remember that one Kaiser panel?
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Yeah.
#YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HE'S LITERALLY SO BABY WHAT#OH MY GODS#oh my gods i didn't think i could fall in love with him even more but#oh my gods#oh my gods oh my gods oh my gods#I NEED TO HUG HIM#WDYM YOU'RE NOT INTERESTING??? MY LOVE YOU'RE LITERALLY MY FAVORITE CHARACTER#FUUUUUUCK#I SOUND SO DOWN BAD AND I AM BECAUSE. I WOULD'VE BEEN FRIENDS WITH HIM. THAT TYPE OF PERSON. I WOULD'VE BEEN FRIENDS WITH HIM AS A KID.#FANBOYING SO HARD I'M SO GAY FOR HIM#plus let's also talk about that one panel?? kaiser and karasu both got the half covered half not panel send help he looks hot in there tho#man i was actually going through a crisis today bc otoya thoughts plagued me and guess what? it's all gone#the power this man has over me#karasu tabito#blue lock manga#bllk episode nagi#i make an original post in a long time and it's about him send help#edit: the fact that i saw it coming. a scenario similar to this. aaaaa.
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[deep sigh]
#i don't want to *shudders* 'discourse' but my god. some ppl do not understand the you are not a child/i never was scene w/ dean and mary#might just have to dig up my previous posts on the topic#like! the whole point is that both dean and mary's feelings are valid. both are allowed to feel hurt. both are grieving.#dean being 'a decade older' than mary doesn't change the fact that he's never had his mother in his life and finally does and WANTS her#to BE there#that's it. that's all he's asking for. he's literally NOT asking her to 'parent' him or coddle him or cut the crusts off his sandwiches#he's not expecting her to play 'mommy'. he literally just wants her around and wants her to CHOOSE them over their enemies#i don't think that's a hard ask or unreasonable#but at the same time i also think mary is allowed to want space to process her own complicated grief over losing her 'babies'#and she's allowed to want to discover who she is outside of being a mother esp now that she doesn't have small children to care for#but that also doesn't mean she ever stops 'being' a mom either. she's always going to be their mom. whether she feels equipped to be or not#(most parents do not feel prepared or equipped to be parents)#and so i also understand why it hurts so bad for dean (and sam) to watch her leave them. to watch her seem to choose anyone BUT them#even if that's not what she's actually doing / not her intention#like the point of that scene is that they're both hurting and both's feelings are valid#dean isn't being unreasonable asking for his mom to finally be in their lives and stick around and wanting to know her#but mary is also allowed to want space (she is so like dean in that respect) to process everything and figure out who she is#anyways. i said i wasn't going to make a post abt it but i guess i kind of did#even tho i know i've said all this before in another post a while back#dean and mary#vic.txt
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and then no one said anything about the fact that if i watched ONE MORE episode tenax pulls a "i'm not angry i'm just disappointed i'm hurt" about scorpus signing with the white faction.
#do you see the vision here <- guy who has a watch rate of one episode per month#oh the implications of scorpus not being there for tenax in his time of need... the death of the child who is not but is symbolically their#is that a separate fic completely yes but it is ALSO in some ways a divorce fic. tenax like i needed you but scorpus also needing him#OH MY GOD THEY LITERALLY DO SAY FELIX WAS HIM and i can do SO much with the concept of a “stray”. oh please. please strays instead of rats#one knife to the ribs one fixed race one apartment board THAT'S A STORYLINE BABY RISE OR DIE THE ROMAN WAYYYYYY#i do see your calla/tenax storylines i do. i could be swayed but we are not here for that currently this is the same as the chariot racing#like i KNOW what i said about the gold faction representing everything that scares scorpus a dream he never thought they'd reach#and then to have it ripped away now he no longer even has the dream untarnished i do understand. which is why the “i'm disappointed”#kills me even MORE because it shows he gets it. like on some level he does understand why scorpus had to but it's his pride that's wounde#so to continue from what i WAS saying with:#sets the bar so low because how else would tenax love him (as if tenax would not do the same thing if he lost) and they have even MORE#questionable celebratory reward sex. yes i assigned scorpus a degradation/praise kink the world works in wondrous ways don't question it#scorpus/tenax#those about to die#tenax making sure to care for the kids is what's killing me too because i REALLY want to draw a parallel with scorpus making sure he takes#care of the prostitutes. yes he's a notorious hedonist yes he has a lot of sex but he always pays well doesn't he. over-well. he pays too#much and ends up in debt he pays enough to buy girls freedom. so that they only have to if they want to. it gets him a reputation sure AND#it gets whole houses of girls under his (and therefore tenax's) protection. you can't bruise her up; that's scorpus' favorite girl.#she can charge more for being favored. he can pay for massive parties where no one else is invited and if he falls asleep midway drunk#off his ass after a race the girls would never say. they still get paid. if tenax comes to watch and give instructions they'd never say.#if tenax tells them all to leave and it's just him and scorpus in the golden room and all the girls see before they shut the door#and latch it behind them is scorpus on his knees in the soft plush cushions with tenax offering him grapes one by one from his fingertips#like a favored concubine instead of the champion whose laurels are tilted on his head they won't say a word. not even when the noise#inside the room continues for long after the hour runs out the girls still stand watch until it's quiet and then crawl back in around where#scorpus is alone in the big wrecked bed with a smear of blood or wine on his mouth who could say. certainly they wouldn't.#no matter what they still get paid. whether they did the work to wreck him or not.#ANYWAY#they take care of the selves they couldn't protect is what i'm trying to say. for tenax it's the child he was/scorpus it's the body he sold#only he hasn't stopped having to sell it. & i guess as we're learning with the extortion tenax is still a child running from a burning hous
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Oooh could be the anticipation of her and Dean getting interrupted by Michael? Of Sam getting into trouble with Michael and his posse? Either way I'm glad this chapter was able to keep you on your toes, friend! 😜💓
the dinner scene was so sweet, on both sides 💓 it was a good look into how they care for each other already :') loved it
Aw I had a lot of fun with the restaurant scene! Chicken or steak never had so much subtext. 😅 Yeah you get a sense of the level of their character, hopefully, and how considerate of each other. 🥲
oh michael 🤦🏽♀️ that's like the worst thing he could have come up with lmfao. also i was nervoussss for sam the whole time but he's so smart, glad to see him handling himself 😅 (honestly they're all so shady i'm still worried a little😩)
He's a slippereh snek in this chapter for sure. 🐍 Sam is v much showing his intelligence in this one, but you're right, all these guys at the club are super shady and I don't blame you for being worried. 😅
:((( my shaylaaaaa also i thought their walk in the park was perfect for the conversation. idk I felt like it took off a layer of pressure, given how heavy it got at one point. it was so nice to see them opening up and getting to know each other <3 (it's alllllll coming together now >:D)
Aww Dean's feeling like a bit of a burden right now, but I'm so glad you enjoyed their literal walk in the park! They both needed that time to relax, and yep it gave them a chance to open up to one another and learn more about each other. (ooh yes, you shall see ���)
oh word?😏 loll no but seriously I would be admiring his hands 24/7 😭 i'm a sucker for nice hands
Oh hell yeah.
after seeing how she and michael met I hate him even more now, oh my gosh :/ she treats your horrendous wounds, helps you recover in the middle of chaos, marries you, and you stillllllll do her dirty? so trifling 🤦🏽♀️
Right?? Like it's doubly shitty. She literally held him down. 🙃 You'll learn more about Michael and what's going on in his head in Part 4...
my heart achesss for her, no one deserves to be treated like this and/or made to feel this way :((( free my girl fr 😩 sidenote, when I see the chapter title in the story I feel like this meme lollll
God my heart broke for her while I was writing this scene. 😭 Justice for baby girl will be coming soon, but omg YES I love it when readers feel that way about spotting the chapter title (or even series title) in a chapter because that's how I feel too when I'm reading a story!! 🤣🤣
call me the wicked witch of the west the way i melted lmao, ahhh 💞💞 now I do hate cheating with a passion, yes. however in this case; they're basically separated, he's a massive douche who's toeing the line into more aggressive behavior, and honestly to me it's like she's shackled to him against her will, awaiting the key. once again I say, free my girlllll lol
Yes I hate cheating too, but in this case I think we can understand (for absolutely all of those reasons you mentioned). And she's not falling for Dean to spite Michael, but because she's so deeply hurt and needing that connection with someone. 💞
😭 lmfaoooooo
🤭 Poor Dean. Picturing your dad nekked will do the trick when you need to calm it down lmfao...if psychologically scarring yourself all over again. 🤣
overall this was such a wonderful chapter, per usual <3 totally not freaking about over the teaser for the next chapter :) (stay safe sammy!!😩)
Aww thank you so very much, friend! Hahaa you don't have to worry too much about Sam, but I can say that the angst train will be coming full force in Part 4. 😅💕
BETWEEN THE CITY & THE STARS - Part 3
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: In the fall of 1945, Dean is having a difficult time assimilating back into civilian life after the War. He’s visiting his brother Sam in New York City, where he’s beginning to build up his law firm. At two minutes to closing time, you interrupt their evening to solicit a solicitor. Your request? You need help in order to divorce your husband.
AN: All right, diving into some muddy waters here...
Jacklesverse Bingo24 Prompt: Historical Epic
Song Inspo: “You Go to My Head” by Tony Bennett
Word Count: 6.5K
Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Angst, (technically cheating—it’s complicated), hurt/comfort, and smut.
✨ Series Masterlist
🎵 YouTube Playlist || Spotify Playlist
Part 3: A Moment
Dean sat with you in silence on the bus. While you were still beautiful in your black dress, hat, and veil, you didn’t have the vivacious spark in your eyes like you did back at the club. There, when he held you in his arms, he earned your breathless, giddy laugh by turning you too many times under his hand.
Now, you looked like you were in mourning. Maybe you were.
“You hungry?” he asked.
You didn’t even raise your gaze as you picked at a stray seam on your dress.
“I don’t think I could eat anything,” you replied.
As if on cue, the thought of food made your stomach percolate, uttering a rumble. You froze. Your eyes widened as you bit your lip in mortification, but you were unable to stop yourself from glancing at Dean.
He cocked a brow at the sound. Then, his lips twitched at a smile.
“I think I know a place,” he said.
You were blushing too hard to argue.
And so, you and Dean got off the bus early. You ended up sitting across from him at a steakhouse. It was nice and quiet. Softer piano music played, and you were perusing the menu, trying not to feel guilty about it.
You had to remind yourself that your husband was betraying your marriage in far worse ways than you right now, and in the grand scheme of things, this was nothing. Dean was just paying you a kindness by taking you out for dinner.
“Get whatever you want,” he said, gesturing towards the menu in your hands.
You gave him a measured look across the table. Sure, he could say that, but you still felt bad. He was a soldier no longer on a soldier’s salary.
So you tried to be discreet while you were eyeing the steak side of the menu. Seeing the state of these prices—more than a little outrageous, in your opinion—you turned to the other side. The server returned to your table shortly after.
“Are we ready to order?” he asked.
Dean gestured for you to go first. You once again glanced down at the tiny printed words next to the fancily scrawled prices, biting at your lower lip.
“I’ll have the roast chicken please,” you said.
Dean rose his brows at you. “You sure that’s what you want?”
“Sure. I’m happy with anything,” you said.
A smile played on his lips. “So you really want to have chicken at a steakhouse?”
His amusement was infectious. You couldn’t help but begin to smile too. He leaned in closer across the table, as if conspiringly.
“I’ll get you whatever you want, and I mean that,” he said. Then, adopting a more joking tone, “I may not have a job lined up yet, but I’m not penniless.”
Your smile fell. “Oh, Dean, I know that—”
“Then order something good,” he said, raising his brows. “I dare ya.”
Your lips began to purse, trying not to succumb to the annoyingly charming gleam in his eyes.
“How about the Salisbury steak?” the server suggested. “It’s very popular right now.”
Dean looked to you for confirmation, again popping his brows in teasing askance. You offered a weary smile of defeat.
He ordered two steaks with all the fixings.
Dean was the more natural improvisor, but Sam had become just as good at finding the right role to play in situations like these. With Michael Milligan and his friends, that role was mostly himself: a bachelor, a businessman, but also being “the new guy in town,” looking for friends and a good time.
So Sam was wearing his newest suit and his best watch—a graduation present from his father—and had made sure he looked sharp before leaving the apartment tonight. Though he undid a couple of buttons on his dress shirt and ran a hand through his hair to tousle it up a little, making himself look casual enough to match these guys.
Seeing the shine on his wrist, Michael was generous enough to invite Sam along when they traveled behind the velvet curtain with Dolores Daye and the Cotton Club’s esteemed host, Brady Johnson.
Johnson. Sam recognized the name with an internal jolt. He’d seen it scrawled in Michael Milligan’s handwriting across several checks, dated between 1944 to 1945.
Brady Johnson had a crooked smile that was supposed to be charming as he led the group into a darker, cozier room. It smelled like the smoke of cigarettes and cigars, coupled with the faint must of perfume and cologne. There were a couple of pool tables, a fully stocked bar, and a big round table where he gestured for them all to sit.
Dolores took a seat right on Michael’s lap. There she gave the man a kiss that likely tickled his tonsils.
Sam pretended to be discreet when he looked away, but really, he was trying to sneak his little Canon camera out of his jacket. He stiffened to attention when Brady slapped a hand on his shoulder.
“What’re you drinkin’, Winchester?” he asked. “Scotch? Whiskey?”
“Aren’t those the same thing?” Sam said, injecting some good humor into his smile.
Brady thought about it, popped a brow, then levied a finger his way. “Damn it, when you’re right. You’re right. I’ll get ya both then.”
He reached out and touched Dolores’s side meaningfully, getting her to stop “greeting” Michael and detach from his face.
“Sweetheart, why don’t you get our guests something to drink, huh? Then you can go back to making Michael here feel comfortable,” Brady said, slapping a congenial hand on Michael’s back.
Dolores gave Brady an easy smile and practically hopped out of Michael’s lap with a graceful two-step. She caressed his face as she made her way around his back and away, heading towards the bar. Michael followed the careening path of her hand as she half-turned his head, and he shot her a wink. She giggled indulgently, making him smile.
Then he turned his attention to the game of poker at hand. One of the other men was dealing the cards. Sam glanced at his hand before he looked over at Michael. Specifically, Sam noticed the gold band on the man’s left ring finger.
Michael seemed to feel Sam’s eyes on him, and he followed the path of Sam’s gaze. Michael flexed his hand and tucked it into his pocket.
“So Sam, what’s your poison?” he asked.
“I’m a whiskey guy, I guess,” Sam said, glancing around the room. There was probably an exit out back, but otherwise, the place was secluded and well-contained. So far he didn’t notice any other back rooms, besides a door to what was probably a dressing room. Michael had probably gotten that tour a time or two.
“This is a nice place,” Sam remarked, offering Dolores a polite smile when she set down a fifth of scotch in front of him. She gave him a charming wink before she served Michael his whiskey on the rocks next.
“I don’t come here all that often,” Michael said, adding a quirking grin. “Just on payday.”
The men shared a chuckle. Sam’s gaze was a hint sharper.
“Well, the drinks are good. I imagine the company’s better,” he said, his brows raising slightly when Dolores passed by to serve one of the other men a drink. Michael cocked a finger at him, congenial, but still warning.
“Yep, she’s a sweet one, all right. Sweet for me,” he said, grinning.
Sam nodded in understanding.
“I get it. She’s happily occupied,” he said, though he casually gestured to Michael’s left hand when he used it to bring his drink up to his lips. “Sorry for your loss.”
Michael gave him a look of confusion while he sipped, but when he noticed Sam pointing at his wedding ring, he had to pause and clear his throat.
“Excuse me?” he said.
“Ah, I’m sorry. I assumed you were a widower,” Sam said. He quirked a smile and sipped at his own drink.
Michael hesitated. He rubbed at his left ring finger, over the shining band.
“Yeah, well, sometimes I forget that myself,” he said. His blue eyes dimmed. “It, uh…hasn’t been all that long since she passed.”
Sam almost shook his head. If the man was going to lie, he could at least put some effort into it. He was beginning to understand your pain even better than ever.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry,” Sam offered.
Michael smiled tightly. “Don’t worry about it.”
“All right, we good?” Brady said, now that the cards were dealt. Dolores came back over to sit on Michael’s lap. Sam didn’t get out his camera just yet; the position was incriminating, but not hard proof of an affair. He’d have to wait for a better opportunity.
“Who’s betting first?” he asked.
After the meal, you realized you weren’t quite ready to go home, despite the late hour of the night. Picking up on your reluctance, Dean suggested taking a walk. You held onto his offered arm and led him a couple blocks away to Central Park. You guided him through the walkways you almost knew by heart, even in the shrouded dark of the night.
You were beginning to feel an odd prickle zip across your skin. Deep down, you knew you walked on a thin edge teetering between right and wrong.
He’s just being kind, you rationalized. You were battered enough inside to crave his kindness, more than you would’ve ever liked to admit.
“Thank you again for dinner,” you said, “and for staying out with me. I just…didn’t feel like going home to an empty apartment.”
Dean’s lips twitched up at one side, ruefully. “I kinda know what you mean. We could, uh…catch a picture show or something.”
“Oh no, Dean. It’s all right. Far too late for that,” you said, releasing his arm to wave a dismissive hand. Really, you just wanted to dispel the idea of him treating you to anything more tonight. By the way he was as dinner, you just knew that he wouldn’t allow you to pay for your own ticket to see a show. Nor did you want to eat into his pockets anymore.
Your hands were gathered in front of you now as you walked, holding your purse. A cold rush of wind pushed at you both from behind. It popped up the collar of your winter coat. Dean fixed it for you, laying it back down above your shoulders. You murmured your thanks again as you felt the brush of his fingers across your back and shoulders.
Afterwards, he slid his hands back into his coat pockets. He looked up at the tall trees and nicely trimmed bushes, their little red flowers having opened up.
“This is the only part of the city worth seeing,” he remarked, knocking a small rock ahead of him with his foot.
You turned to him with a frown. “Come on, now. There are a lot of interesting things in the city. There’s the Statue of Liberty and Rockefeller Center, not to mention museums, restaurants, Radio City, plays, and movies too, remember?”
“Okay, aside from Radio City and a couple of old buildings, we’ve got all that back home too,” he said, with a cutting motion of his hand.
“Has Sam shown you everything? Or have you been exploring on your own?” you asked. The question was a bit deceptive though. In your mind, you were thinking of what Sam had told you…
He’s not usually wanting for company.
“On my own, for the most part,” Dean replied. “Sam’s been hard at work. A bit too busy for his hanger-on older brother.”
You looked over at him with furrowed brows. “Dean, I doubt he sees it that way.”
The man shook his head. “Look, I’m…I’m proud of him, don’t get me wrong. He’s trying to build something for himself, and that takes time and a lotta work. He’s created a life here. I’m just trying to catch up, I guess.”
You considered Dean for a moment. Like you, he seemed to be at a crossroads.
“What was it like for you two, growing up? You’re from Kansas, aren’t you?” you asked.
He nodded. He hesitated, but he surprised you by opening up a little, telling you more about his life before the war. It was always before and after. You knew it always would be.
You learned that his mother passed away when he was young, rather tragically due to an illness that came on suddenly and swiftly. He still remembered the deep blue of her eyes, her blonde hair. But most of all, he remembered her voice, kind and pretty when she sang to him until he fell asleep.
John, his father, had become a harder man after her death. Quieter, and stoic. Dean hardly remembered him without a glass of liquor in his hand after that. John had been a factory worker before he enlisted in the Navy. He died a decade later at Pearl Harbor, during the war.
That news came through with a military officer knocking at the front door of their family home. Dean answered it, and so that news hit him first. Afterwards, he had to sit his younger brother down and tell him.
That afternoon, both of them enlisted.
Dean told the story matter-of-factly, but you felt and saw the emotions hidden behind his eyes. You saw the weight of responsibility on his shoulders, both as an older brother, and as the eldest son. You had to quickly swipe away a tear before he turned your way. He offered a small smile.
“Ah…enough about all that. What about you?” he asked. “How’d you grow up?”
You took a steadying breath, and you told him.
“Well, I’m from a small town in South Dakota. Sioux Falls,” you said. “Mom’s a schoolteacher. Dad works in a steel mill, and my Uncle Bobby owns an automotive towing company there.”
“Well, that’s a decent job,” Dean said.
“Have you thought about what you want to do?” you asked. He nodded, and the two of you stopped to sit together on a bench in the park. You had a view of tall skyscrapers like Empire State in the distance, and the night sky above the arching trees.
“Yeah, a lot actually,” he said, carding a hand through his hair absently. “Like, uh, talking about cars, I’ve always liked them. The hum of a good engine. My dad could hear a car running from a block away, and he could tell you what was wrong with it, just by the sound of it.”
He punctuated his words with a sweeping gesture of his hand. You could imagine a road laid across the path of it, along with a rumbling car and his father’s perceptive, judging eye.
“Heh, matter of fact, we used to take his old Chevy apart, put it back together again,” said Dean, smiling a little. “I like working with my hands, I guess.”
You admired his hands as they rested casually in his lap. They were larger than yours, with long fingers. His hands look strong and capable like the rest of him, even though they were always considerate when they touched you.
“Then you should do something you like doing,” you said. “Fixing cars! That’s good, honest work you can make a living out of.”
Dean looked over at you. “You think so?”
You nodded your encouragement, smiling bright. “I know so. You might be a bit of a flirt, but you also look like someone who can accomplish whatever you set your mind to.”
When those words slipped free from your mouth, you realized how he might take that little accusation, let alone how overeager you sounded. Your gaze fell away from him as you felt your face getting warm in a blush.
Dean’s smile widened, showing teeth. “I’m a flirt, huh?”
“Well…” You bit the inside of your lip and tried your hardest not to look at him for a while. “At least you’re an honest one.”
Dean laughed freely at that. He wasn’t offended, just amused at the way you got embarrassed, even though you didn’t take it back just to save face.
He appreciated your support and the way you talked, straightforward and earnest. There was nothing frivolous about you. You meant every word you said, and you said it with conviction.
“Do you enjoy your work then?” he asked. You dimmed a little.
“Well, I’m a secretary. I work in an office,” you said, chuckling slightly. “Nothing exciting there.”
“You mean, compared to being an army nurse,” Dean pointed out.
You nodded begrudgingly. He saw through you too well.
“It was never boring,” you joked, even if it was a weak one.
A sigh escaped you. The truth was, you saw things on the battlefield that revived behind your eyelids every time you went to sleep. It kept you up some nights, and it made it incredibly difficult to sleep alone. Sometimes you’d craved Michael’s arms around you, even if he was too deep in sleep from being drunk the night before. Sometimes it was too hard to be alone all night in your bed, even if you wanted to be.
“That’s how Michael and I met,” you confessed. “I was trying to stitch him up after his plane was shot down. He was lucky to be alive, frankly. Had a nasty head wound. I also helped the doctor set his shoulder, horribly dislocated…”
You two fell in love in that one month you were stationed in the same town together, where France was falling apart. The combined forces of French, British, and American units were able to finally liberate Paris from being occupied. Michael was honorably discharged due to the wounds he’d sustained there.
The next time you and Michael had shore leave at the same time, you got married here in New York City: October 10, 1944.
“I wouldn’t have minded if you were my nurse,” Dean said, breaking you out of your thoughts. You sent him a wry, sidelong smile.
“You can’t help yourself from flirting, can you?” you quipped.
The way he waggled his brows made you laugh, and then duck your blushing face. He was too much.
“I’m serious though,” he claimed. One of his hands went to his right shoulder. “I’ve still got a twinge over here. Think I tore some kind of muscle from hauling ammunition, but it never really healed right.”
Your head tilted in concern. The nurse in you couldn’t help it. You turned to him more fully on the bench.
“That shoulder?” You pointed at his right one. Dean nodded. You got up and moved to his other side, and he made room for you on the bench.
“Can you peel back your jacket for me?” you asked.
“Not a problem,” he said, with a note of sensuous teasing in his voice that you chose to ignore. He revealed his white dress shirt, black waistcoat and brown leather suspenders. That was a familiar sight, but you tried to ignore the feeling of defined male muscle underneath your hands, instead focusing on finding the problem. You knew you struck it when Dean flinched, uttering a reflexive grunt of pain.
You murmured an apology, massaging the spot of muscle deep in the joint of his shoulder through his clothing. A fellow nurse with more experience in the medical field had taught you about each muscle in the body, and how to relieve tension around scar tissue. After a while, the stiffness in Dean’s frame began to relax. His neck lolled to one side as he groaned in relief.
Then he chuckled. “You some kind of miracle woman?”
“I might be,” you said. The corners of your mouth inched upwards.
When he was fully relaxed, you stopped your ministrations and let your hands fall away from his shoulder. Dean stood up from the bench along with you, yanking his jacket back on. Soon it was the two of you standing together in near darkness.
“Thanks, sweetheart. Feels much better already,” he said. There was something warm, and a hint gentler in his voice. Even he realized it afterwards, not knowing quite how to feel about it…until you looked up at him with that smile. His heart thudded a bit harder in his chest.
“What should I charge for a miracle?” you asked.
Dean pretended to think, humming in consideration. He knew what he wanted to give you in exchange, but he settled for something more gentlemanly.
“How about you let me take you home?” he offered.
You nodded. “That works for me.”
You continued walking with Dean through the park back to the entrance, with only a few scattered lampposts and the stars above to light your path.
Once again, you and Dean made it to the front porch of your apartment building. Despite your better judgment, you invited him in for a night cap and a snack. To be fair, he would have a long way home. You just wanted to repay him at least a little bit for his kindness.
He followed you up the stairs to the second floor, Unit 21B. Inside was a modest, cozy living room, a hall leading to the kitchen, and further down, the bedroom. You poured two glasses of whiskey and sat beside him on the couch.
“Didn’t take you for a whiskey girl,” Dean remarked.
“Yes, well, it’s one of those nights, I guess,” you said. You didn’t quite smile as you took a small sip.
By now it was past midnight. You wondered if your husband didn’t intend to come home until the morning. It had happened before, but it still made you so very angry now that you’d seen it with your own eyes. You drowned out that sick feeling with more whiskey and conversation.
Within the hour, you and Dean had nearly polished off the bottle. You were more than a little tipsy.
You laughed a bit harder than you should’ve at Dean’s stories, but he liked the sound of your laughter and the way you were letting loose around him. It was the first time he’d seen you smile so much, and it was a good look on you. He was glad to be able to get that out of you.
“I almost missed my own birthday party when I was ten,” he said, laughing a little. He was spurred on by your infectious grin. “Sam and I, we got it into our heads to jump off the roof of the shed out back. See, I had a towel tied around my neck.”
“A cape,” you giggled.
Dean pointed a finger at you. “Exactly. So I can fly.”
You shook your head. “Naturally.” You could imagine him as a precocious child, with ruddy cheeks and small freckles spread across them.
“My brother had a ‘cape’ too, but he was a skinny kid at six years old. Small for his age for a long time, if you can believe it.”
“A-huh…”
“Well, I jump off first, and I manage stick the landing, just shaking a little when my boots hit the ground,” Dean said, making a show of wobbling his legs a little. It looked odd while sitting on the couch, but you could imagine it so clearly, it made you smile harder.
“Sammy, not so much. Poor kid broke his arm,” he said.
Your smile dropped.
“No,” you gasped, a hand flying to your mouth.
Dean nodded. “I had to take him to the clinic on my bike. He rode on my handlebars all the way there. We agreed not to say a word to our dad, you know, but of course, it’s kinda hard to hide sling.”
“What did he do?”
“He took one look at us, at me. Mom was fretting over Sam, and Dad just shook his head.”
“Was he mad?”
“Of course he was, but at least he never took it out on us. Not with his hands, at least. He cussed up a storm about us damn kids and had to walk it off.” Dean chuckled and swiped a hand through his hair. “That was some birthday.”
You erupted into more giggles. He smirked at you, but it slowly faded.
“You know where I was on my last birthday?” he asked.
You sobered along with him, sensing his tone.
It took him a moment to continue. He didn’t know why he started to open his mouth about this. After he set foot in his house again after the war, he resolved to leave all that behind him, try not to think about it or talk about it, if he could help it. But after what you’d told him, he thought you might understand.
“I was in Eastern Europe. Knees deep in snow and blood in the Ardennes, caught somewhere between Belgium and uh…Luxemburg, they told us. The weather was sh…it was terrible,” he corrected himself before he caught himself saying something too vulgar. It had been a while since he’d had to watch his mouth around a lady, even though he had a feeling you’d heard it all in the crumbled depths of France.
“But it finally let up enough that we could start fighting back for real,” he continued. “It was grueling. A knockout, drag out dog fight in the worst cold I’d ever been through in my life…”
You listened to the rest of his story with rapt attention, your chin held in hand as you leaned against the back of the sofa. Not only did you like the sound of his deep voice washing over you, but you realized that he was trusting you with something; with a part of himself.
When his story was done, he seemed to be reliving it all in his mind. His gaze was far away. You rested a hand on his arm to let him know that you had listened, that you had heard him, and that he wasn’t alone. He’d taken his coat off long ago, so you felt the warmth of him under the fabric of his rolled up dress shirt.
Dean came back to himself. He looked at you and grasped your arm back in thanks. But that small connection slowly began to change into something else. His hand slid up your bare arm, over the black sleeve, and across the neckline of your dress. He leaned in closer.
He smelled good, of a woodsy cologne and of spicy whiskey. He was sporting a couple days’ worth of stubble, but as you took in his face, you realized that it looked good on him. You’d only ever been taken with clean-shaven men before. This man, however, was continuing to be a pleasant surprise.
Dean cradled your cheek in his hand. You allowed him to draw even closer. You subconsciously leaned forward yourself, until his plush lips were one warm breath away from yours.
Dean held himself back though. He knew there were more things muddling your mind than the whiskey. But you held his hand to your cheek so he wouldn’t let you go just yet. You tried your best to blink back the sting of tears.
“Please,” you whispered. You weren’t exactly sure what you were asking for. At the very least, you knew you couldn’t stomach another rejection. “At the risk of sounding entirely brazen…please, don’t kick me while I’m down.”
Dean sighed. His stomach twisted in both conflict and desire. He soothed his thumb across your soft cheek.
“Sweetheart, I’d love nothing more than to kiss you. Believe me,” he said. His voice was low with grit and tinged with longing. “But I gotta wonder if this is really what you want.”
Your mouth trembled. Your heart was battered and frayed, your mind spinning with this isn't right. And yet, you had a fire in your belly, familiar, though you hadn't felt it in so very long. It churned a heady blaze when you stared into his eyes. Something compelled you to reach out and touch his lips with gentle fingertips.
“He doesn’t…touch me anymore,” you confessed, swallowing. “It used to be, whenever we passed each other in the house, it was a touch. A moment.”
Your hand ghosted over Dean’s chin, down his neck, and shoulder, and down his chest over wrinkled fabric and buttons. He had to try and calm down his own breathing, the heavy patter of his own heart in response to your touch.
“Like I had an anchor, reminding me that I was loved, and that mine was appreciated,” you said. Your voice barely rose above a whisper. “But now it’s…it’s rushed. Everything is rushed, and distant, and forgetful. That’s if it happens at all. No matter how much I work at my job, and cook, and clean, and take care of him, it isn’t enough. He’s not the man I thought I knew. That’s what hurts the most.”
Dean’s heart clenched under your palm. He was angry for you. He was sad for you. But most of all, he was starting to hate the thought of you sharing the same bed with that man, being touched by him, and worst of all, him taking from you without satisfying you.
“Rushed, huh?” Dean asked, his fingers curling to brush against your jawline. You nodded. He took your chin between his thumb and forefinger, and he raised his brows. “Everything?”
Your watery eyes met his as you bit your lip. You released it with a trembling breath.
“Everything,” you said.
Dean couldn’t help but treat you gently, drying your tears and kissing your cheek. He hadn’t known you long, but he knew you didn’t deserve what you were going through. He saw that you weren’t just pretty. You weren’t just tenacious and headstrong. You had a soft heart behind that iron wall.
So he took your chin and guided you to his lips, and into his kiss. You inhaled in a sharp breath, but you soon melted into him with a faint moan. He cupped your cheek and kissed you again, this time a firmer touch.
You matched his intensity and gripped the front of his shirt for balance, especially as his hand began to slide down your arm and around your waist. He pressed at the small of your back, bringing you flush against his chest. You had no choice but to take his face in your hands and meet his seeking tongue with your own.
A groan sounded in the back of his throat at your eagerness. He pushed you down to the end of the couch, where you laid on a few throw pillows. There he found his way between your legs and took your heels off, one by one.
Then his touch was heavy and warm across your hip, running down your thigh. After a while, he veered away from your lips to kiss his way down your neck. It earned your shallowing breath. Your hands roamed his shoulders, slipping down his back as far as you could reach. You wanted to feel more of him.
And the feeling was mutual. His kisses blazed a path along your collarbone and between your breasts, dipping below the neckline of your dress. His hand came up to gently palm one of your breasts, thumbing at your nipple hardening under the fabric. You whimpered, clinging to him tighter.
“Can I touch you?” he asked, his own breathing labored as well.
“You are touching me,” you whispered.
“You know what I mean, baby,” he said. For a moment his usual grin took over his features, but he leaned up to steal a kiss, nice and slow. “Want to make you feel good. Give you something to remember me by.”
You found yourself nodding and uttering a broken moan. It almost didn’t matter to you what he meant. His hands and the weight of his body on top of you felt so very good, you would take whatever he wanted to give you.
Your breath hitched when you felt his hand slipping upwards along your inner thigh. His thumb brushed between your legs, across the dampened fabric of your underwear. You whimpered, nodding again.
Dean reassured you with a kiss. Then he hooked his fingers on the waistband of your pantyhose, along with the silk and lace covering you underneath. He slid them down carefully, as not to rip anything (even though he’d like nothing more).
When it all bunched around your ankles, you kicked the rest of it off. The wad of sheer fabric and satin panties fell across the coffee table, over the forgotten drinking glasses. You giggled against his lips. Dean smiled too, though he gently nipped your lower lip to keep your attention. Your fingers curled up into his hair, nails grazing his scalp. The sensation made a shudder run down his spine.
He decided to return the favor, now that he was able to feel your bare thigh under his hand. He stroked your skin while he waylaid you with deeper, sloppier kisses. But all the while, his hand slid higher, closer to your throbbing core.
Finally, his fingers brushed between your legs against the bare seam of your sex. You inhaled sharply against his mouth. “Dean…”
“I gotcha, sweetheart. Promise,” he said, just a whisper of his lips with yours.
Two of his fingers slipped inside you first. You were already wet and pulsing around them when they sunk into your heat. You whimpered in his ear, especially as his fingers began to explore you, working you open, and curling upward against the most sensitive of places within your inner walls. You cried out gratefully, clenching a hand in his hair. Your core was already beginning to flutter around his fingers.
“Hmm, right there, huh?” Dean said. His voice was a bit rough; his own desire was straining in his pants, begging to be touched, but he was focusing all his efforts on you. He wanted to see you come apart, hear you gasping his name like it was the only thing you were able to remember.
His thumb began to massage tight circles over that small, sensitive bud above your entrance. You moaned and writhed against his hand. Your voice in his ear was heaven, especially when he got what he wanted. A few more deliberate strokes deep inside, and you were gripping him tight, throbbing from the inside, and coming all over his hand. He felt the rush of wetness, but he still kept pulsing his fingers inside your quivering walls, drawing out your release.
You cried out his name and fairly trembled against him. Your lower belly clenched as another wave hit you, making your inner walls flutter tightly around his fingers again.
His heart was beating as fast as yours when it all finally subsided. You fell back against the pillows, gasping for breath. Dean raised his glistening fingers up to your mouth. You were shocked to see the evidence of your own release there.
He pressed the pads of his fingers to your lips. It was downright obscene, but you gave into the urge to slide your lips over his fingers, tasting yourself when you sucked around his digits.
Dean’s green eyes were dark with arousal and satisfaction as he watched you. Feeling your tongue around his fingers made him imagine another use for your pretty mouth, making his cock throb in the confines of his slacks. But for now, it was enough to see the remnants of your lipstick come off on his mostly clean fingers.
He licked off the rest from his fingers himself, then bowed his head to kiss you thoroughly. Your hands began to explore him, the expanse of his chest over his shirt, and traveling down, below the belt. Dean slowed the pace of things, grabbing one of your hands.
You frowned in confusion. “You don’t want me to return the favor?”
Dean groaned, and he chuckled. He pressed a kiss to your hand.
“I’d go for that in a heartbeat, I really would. But tonight’s about you, sweetheart,” he said.
What was more, he didn’t want to take advantage of you. You’d had quite a lot to drink. You both had.
But I want to do this right.
That thought stopped him for sure. It surprised him, even if it was the truth. He just didn’t want to examine it too closely just yet.
He swore you looked disappointed though. It was even more difficult to make his arousal subside. He took in a deep breath, clearing his throat as he shifted off of you. He helped you tug your dress back down your thighs and tried thinking of anything that might help him calm down.
Picturing that time he accidentally walked in on his father in the bath ultimately did the trick, accompanied by a small body shudder.
“Are you cold?” you asked, rubbing his arm.
“No, I’m just fine,” Dean replied. He gave you a smile and tucked a wily strand of hair behind your ear. “You feel okay?”
Your smile was more demure, almost shy. If he were a betting man, he’d say you were blushing.
“More than okay,” you murmured.
He chuckled and swiped his thumb across the apple of your warm cheek.
With a more genuine smile, you leaned up and checked your watch resting on the coffee table. Your eyes widened.
“Michael could be coming home any moment,” you said.
The thought rekindled the wellspring Dean’s anger. His brows furrowed with a frown. He’d like to be here when Michael came home. Maybe Dean would get the chance to sort the man out, get one or two good hits in.
Instead, he let out a heavy breath. He got up and allowed you to walk him to the door, where he grabbed his coat and straightened up his clothes. He paused at the door when he glanced back at you.
You looked too damn much. Your lips kiss-swollen, your dress sleeves hanging further off your shoulders, your hair a tousled mess. He slipped an arm around your waist and pulled you back in for a kiss goodbye. You breathed in, then you melted into him, your fingers slipping through his hair. That kiss was everything.
However, like this night, it had to come to an end. You pulled away first, slowly. You touched his chin with gentle fingers.
“Go,” you whispered, “before I lose myself.”
Dean chuckled. “You took the words right outta my mouth, sweetheart.”
He forced himself to break away from you and step out of the apartment. Releasing a sigh, you shut the door behind him.
AN: Okay, you're probably having mixed feelings lol. I don't blame you! Honestly, I'm not advocating cheating here (even if we think Michael deserves it). It's just an added layer of complexity to the story in this case. 😬 Get ready for more of that in Part 4, where we catch Sam's side of things...
Next Time:
“Well, you could say I’ve inherited a business of my own,” he said. “I run a meat packing plant down in the district.”
Sam’s attention piqued. There had been a meat rationing throughout the war, even some rumors and propaganda about “meatleggers,” black market operators.
“How’s it been with the rations?” Sam asked. “Been hard to even find a good carton of eggs lately.”
Michael gave him a slight smile. “Been on the turnaround, actually. I’ve been able to make some connections with vendors outside the city. A little grease on the palms makes a little go a long way, if you catch my drift.”
Sam slowly nodded. A little grease on the palms, huh?
“Do what you gotta do in the times, ‘s what I say,” Sam agreed.
Michael snorted. “Now you’re talkin’. That’s all we can do, you know. Try to make a thing work, with whatever scraps we get. Try to stay afloat.”
“Try to stay alive,” Sam rejoined.
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my various mental issues make liking people so hard because i already put people on a pedestal to begin with if i genuinely like them so i am automatically laying myself at their feet like a dog but then i wrestle with the ego death of seeing that they're just a human being who is capable of being wrong and stupid and annoying me and it kind of makes me sick to my stomach not because i expect people to be perfect but because i know if i had like 5 minutes to sit down and talk to this person i would feel more secure in knowing where they stand on any given thing. but you aren't granted that when you just like some random guy who will never know you because you can't take the feeling of someone who could actually know you. or whatever.
#i like a jewish man who made one vaguely ignorant comment about what's going on Over There and has said nothing on the topic since#he's kind of known for being someone who... likes to look out for the 'little guy' but knowing jews who place too much stake in the concept#of israel and having a place they 'belong' and having fought with people who believe that there are various kinds of zionism and not just#the outright evil one where people assuming their religion gives them the birthright to displace and genocide an entire group of people#and obvious this topic hits way too close to home as a jewish person like i just don't understand how jewish people are okay with it#obviously not all of them are. and thank goodness. because you have to be an idiot to sign off on anything a violent group of white racists#tell you to believe. in MY opinion. but this whole thing has just really hurt me deeply and wounded my willingness to identify with#judaism and my jewishness. which sucks. but obviously it sucks way more for the people who have been consistently and violently slaughtered#it's definitely testing my resilience and nerves and i think to some degree it's part of why i haven't even bothered bringing him up becaus#i'm so sick of giving my fellow white jews the benefit of the doubt about their stance on israel. if you don't see it for what it is by now#you're STUPID!!!!!!!!! and i want to be like. well all he did was say smth back when hamas took hostages and whatever but at the same time#he's a jewish nepo baby with a famous mother so he was obviously raised with no shortage of wealth#and - in knowing that#i also know that ignorance runs rampant in rich families who don't bother to look into issues within their own community. and he's never#had to think about the violence that the people have endured due to a settler colony thinking they own the place. the only things i knew#about israel before last year were that they sucked ass and that their military is well-funded and obligatory. if you have eyes and you're#not in an internet echo chamber at THIS point? you know they don't just suck ass but that they are evil. i knew about the occupation and#constant violence all the way back as a teenager because of tumblr (which is kind of insane ngl) and when i found out i was jewish i had#literally no new feelings about israel whatsoever. the persecution complex some jews have about ppl's hatred for israel makes me insane bc#it's literally just a bunch of losers who moved from their ACTUAL birthplaces into a place they have no business being and acting like they#own it and belong there. i have no idea how people feel welcomed by a place like that simply bc you all have the same ethnicity/religion.#it almost feels like a cult and considering that it takes so much inspo from america i honestly wholeheartedly believe that bc it's exactly#how they operate. anyways. all this to say he's not a perfect guy by any means and he's probably at least a little fucking stupid and#brainrotted bc he's rich. idk what else to say bc i don't wanna show my hand or anything on this like i'm very aware this whole thing is#pointless. but alas... that's most of my life!
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klay 0 points but he looked sexygorgeous doing it + lockdown defense + mavs WIN and dubs clinch so im leaving here with something 🙂↕️🙂↕️
#nba#klay thompson#dallas mavericks#mavs lb#love when he makes shots but ive shrimply accepted that it is now a somewhat rare occurence which is understandable tbh given age/injuries#they could never make me hate u king#not even if u go 0/100 i srsly dgaf ur face card + beautiful soul more than make up for it i promise#freddie mercury voice#I look ... and i fiind ... I still love youuu#that said I really think people are not giving him enough grace or credit for all the positive ways he impacts the game#like he has set such an impossibly high standard for himself by literally becoming thee singular second greatest shooter OAT so#imo its pretty unreasonable for fans to demand him to put up prime klay numbers nightly when this team doesn't even need him to do that#to be able to win which is actually a good thing !!! not to be a +/- watcher but him just being on the floor opens up so much space for#everyone else because defenders will swarm him no matter what and he knows this because he is very smart !!!#I just have so much love in my heart for him and it physically hurts me to see anyone speak negatively about him after everything#that he's overcome and how critical he is of himself :( I just want him to feel loved :((#guys this is so stupid i don't even KNOW him and he still occupies a fairly large portion of my brain and heart 24/7 it's so badddd#steph and klay were my whole entire childhood and then i forgot about them for the year they were injured and then I remembered them again#after which they found their way back to each other and won the whole fucking thing !!! that's the shit of romcoms bitch !!!#and even if they really won't ever share a backcourt again (which pains me to even type out ew) I'll still love both of them#unconditionally i fear#and also forever#how can you not be romantic about basketball baby!!!#steph/klay#if you read all of this first of all im so sorry and thank you too lol :)#nik's rants
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The thing is! Fanfiction has the hugely convenient advantage of not having to do worldbuilding or characterisation.
It's all already there. I don't need to tell my readers that Leo Valdez copes with his trauma by using humour and trying to be the funny guy everyone likes, or that Azula enjoys being in control and falls apart when she's faced with the destruction of her world view, or that Julian Bashir has deep-seated family issues that he has bottled up and that inform his entire personality in many areas.
They know.
I only have to worldbuild or characterise where I deviate from canon. Meaning, I can write an enemies to lovers story where I start straight at the enemies part and focus only on the becoming lovers part. I don't have to explain why they're enemies, or even if it's a AU where they're enemies for a different reason (i.e. Modern AU No Powers Highschool AU and the villain is a bully instead of a murderer), I only have to explain the change, not their personalities, the way they insult each other and banter, etc.
This doesn't work for original fiction.
You have to explain all that stuff to the reader. You have to give them an understanding of who the characters are, what their relationships are, what their motivations are, strengths, flaws, problems, goals, personalities.
And when you're not used to doing that, because it's always been done for you by the original author… then you end up with sentences like:
"My name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I am a vampire."
Or whatever the first sentence of My Immortal is.
In other words, if you try to characterise and describe for the first time, you end up literally explaining stuff to the reader. Awkward, clumsy sentences that are very obviously there for the sole purpose of giving the reader information the author was unable to convey in other ways. The very reason the often-misapplied adage "show, don't tell" remains so pervasive.
And this applies to OC fiction too, and may be part of why it has such a bad reputation: when you create an original character, you don't have the benefit of the original author masticating characterisation into your baby bird mouth. You have to create that character from whole cloth, and to be honest? That's pretty hard!
(I'm using "OC fiction" as a genre name here, not literally, because literally, every random person you ever made up for a fic is an original character. The dead body whose name and mother are mentioned in two sentences in chapter 23 of my fic is an original character. But that's not what people mean when they talk about OC fics.)
And to be honest? I couldn't tell you how to do it. I've never successfully written original fiction. But that whole thing is the problem with "that fic is sooo good, you should rewrite it with different names and publish it!" (which is a genuine message I got from someone I showed my fic to).
fanfiction that has been converted into original fiction really gives a bad sample of fanfiction
because, like, it can't have been that good fanfiction in the first place if you could just take out the names and make it a new thing
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Wtf kinda resident evil spaces are y'all in that it's common to see someone "lament" Leon losing his job as a c*p. Maybe leave those places asap.
#Literally I've only ever seen one post ab it and it was just them saying smthn like “in another au Leon had a perfect first day”#Supposed to be sad ab his trauma or whatever#But even still most everyone in the comments was like no lol. Acab.#Like idk I feel like if you're seeing an overwhelming support for p*lice in an online environment you should leave it. Immediately.#Cater your tags better. Block people. Etc.#Also like. Not to state the obvious but y'all will whinge when people don't understand Leon's incessant need to help ppl no matter what#But when I say that Leon is still in the BOW workforce because he - subconsciously or not - does in fact choose to be#Y'all get mad.#Do you understand even if the govt never had a hold on him he would've eventually joined the DSO or at least some kinda BOW fighting Corp??#Do you understand he refuses to quit of his own volition bc BOWs still exist and still terrorise innocent people#And his stupid captain america complex won't let him leave so long as there's even one more person left to save#His compassion being his biggest strength AND weakness is literally such an awesome thing but y'all ignore it#Bc you wanna pretend Leon is serving against his will :'((( he's a poow wittol baby who can't escape :'(((#Get a brain.
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Look, I haven't read Twilight, probably never will, and the movies do a really bad job of accurately portraying certain aspects from the books, but my sister has read them, and based on her descriptions of events, I feel like way too many people are just wildly misunderstanding what imprinting is and how it works :/
#take this with a grain of salt 'cause again I personally have not actually read these books#but as far as I've been informed Jacob is not romantically/sexually attracted to Renesmee when she's a baby#he's just protective of her like a parent wolf imprinting on their cubs#how their relationship develops as she ages is a whole different topic#but this non-issue has always just felt so aggressively to me like another instance of over-assigning human morality to non-humans#he's a wolf guy and wolves imprint#as far as I'm aware at no point is in indicated that this is a strictly romantic/sexual thing in these books#it's literally just imprinting#like a baby duck on their mom#if ''I live and die for you and will be whatever you need me to be no matter what'' only translates to ''I wanna fuck you'' in your mind#then that is 100% a *you* problem because that is *not* what that means#Not to defend Twilight or anything; it's a garbage series#but this has always really bothered me#just say you don't understand what imprinting is and fucking go lmao
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the flash should have ended with barry quitting his job at ccpd to become a stay-at-home husband and that's on that
#the fun part is it genuinely could have ended like that. i have no idea. still haven't watched it#NOBODY TELL ME BTW#THAT IS NOT ME ASKING FOR SPOILERS. I'LL GET TO IT#but honestly it's the only thing that makes sense. i have genuine reasons for this#namely: how the fuck is iris. an incredible but ordinary non-speedster woman. meant to look after a baby speedster#ordinary babies are already making it their life's mission to die. eating shit they shouldn't. rolling over and suffocating.#idk i don't know about kids but i know babies are breakable and will roll off tables and god knows what else#now imagine you have a toddler and she can literally move at hundreds of miles per hour#how the fuck was iris meant to cope?#i still maintain that when they did the 'she put a power dampener in nora' plot it should have been like. not a control thing#but also yeah. literally a control thing because HOW THE FUCK ELSE WAS SHE MEANT TO LOOK AFTER HER BABY#if barry is gone and she's a single mother. assuming no other speedsters are around to help her. what the fuck else was she meant to do?#of course she had to suppress her powers because how can you stop your toddler running into traffic if she can run 1000 times faster than u#how do you keep her in her crib at night if she can phase through the bars?#in that sense. yeah it's fucked up. but you can understand it. you can empathize. what other options did she have?#so yeah stay-at-home dad barry is the only thing that makes sense for genuine safety reasons#he is quite literally the only one who can keep up with the kids#they dropped the ball on nora is all i'm saying. again. fic that lives in my head where original nora's death actually means something#and we get a new nora who is ACTUALLY a different person. as she would be considering her whole upbringing was different#and she has to somehow live up to the memory of a version of her that was erased from time#part of barry and iris can't accept that that specific version of their daughter is gone and it's not her#THE ANGST POTENTIALLLL#in my head she doesn't even go by nora because she's like. THAT'S NOT ME. SHE DIED. WHY CAN'T YOU ACCEPT WHO I AM AND LOVE ME FOR ME#she goes by dawn bc yeah im still kinda sad they didnt use that name#fictional characters give ur kid an original name instead of always naming them after dead ppl challenge#my fics#my meta
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people hate s11 lip but like.
I get it.
#realest mf on the show#lip gallagher#shameless#who am I kidding people hate any season lip#I have so much to say. I could write essays abt that man#so overhated and for WHAT#he's a bit of an asshole and it's ohh he's so selfish oohhhh#but fiona almost kills a toddler and it's she was going through something 🥺#listen I fucking adore Fiona but not like you fake fans I understand her absurdity you guys don't get it#she kinda sucks you can't erase the kinda sucking and pretend she's perfect#it's like with dean (Winchester) You can't just act like bc the older sibling raised the younger one they're suddenly perfect#y'all don't get it frfr#none of you bitches have even been in that dynamic you DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!#Its me and the younger sibling who the fandom hates because they're ''ungrateful'' (lip sam bolin) against the world#also like. the shit I see people hating lip for is always like#''was mean to his rapist. angry after his baby brother almost died. has trauma like a little bitch''#''doesnt worship the ground his sister walks on.''#sorry I'm being petty. as is my brand#''he became his dad :('' HE LITERALLY DIDN'T THATS THE FUCKING POINT??#is that. he was falling into the same habits his dad did and then he literally dragged himself to sobriety tooth and nail#my cringefail idiot son you guys don't get him like I do#I also wanted to kill myself in college I get it
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um guys........ i think u need to understand i'm going fucking insane over this picture
#LMAO??? WHAT THE FUCK ?? LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FAVCT????????????????????????#you see the man on the right on your screen is probably the greatest man to have ever lived in my eyes#also known as riccardo patrese#i mean look at him!!! and his suit and tie and waistcoat???#BABY BOY YOU LOOK AMAZING!!#actually breath taking stuff right there i mean full rights to him for looking that good#and dear god he looks so good#and other guy is walter rohrl whom i don't really care for. nice to see him there though :)#because wherever there is walter there is usually his codriver christian geistdörfer#who just so happens to be the second greatest man to have ever lived in my eyes#christian is this little beam of joy. i love looking at him. he has such a kind face.#like the sort of face you would feel safe asking for directions if you needed to#whcih would be fantastic considering that is like literally hiss job#ANYWAY#the faact that walter and riccardo are together meant that riccardo and christian probably have met and like shook hands or something???#DO YOU UNDERSTAND THEN WHY I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS PICTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#lord if there is a picture with those two i will literally go to grave crying tears of joy. maybe that is all a girl ever wants.#god i can't get over how much excitement this picture causes me. there is so much hope in the world!!!!!!!!!#also patrese................................. again. i think we should have kissed at least. utterly unfair.
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