#YOU COULD MAKE IT GAY COPS
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One of my favorite John Constantine moments. The compassion behind that hug always makes me tear up.
Hellblazer #27
#this story is called âhold meâ doesn't that make you feel things?#and the art style lands the feeling of coldness and isolation perfectly well#hellblazer was punk af. it gave us a John who hated the cops the bigots and the nazis and all the assholes who run the system#this run makes sure to comment on how cruel the system is towards homeless ppl (like Jacko) and poc#and the lgbtq+ community (hellblazer was published in the 80's when the aids crisis was at its worse)#actually this issue starts with john going to the funeral of a friend who was murdered because he was gay#I could go on an even bigger rant about why I love hellblazer and John with all his imperfections but maybe I'll leave that for later#john is a cynic but he cares and he can be an asshole but he's got a good heart and...#john constantine#hellblazer
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Jackie realizing sheâs gonna have to take care of shauna and jeffâs ghost baby
#đ#yellowjackets#truly itâs so interesting to me how much better this season is than the first that literally never happens for me#the current timeline is finally getting interesting. Jeff is still the best part#love how fast misty took to being a cult that is so herâ˘ď¸#Jackie liking poppies is interesting to me both in the Jackie is gay camp and also you know the whole thing with wizard oz and her death#the ending was so fucking depressing I need a nap now#like Iâm so happy they didnât eat the baby that would have been so incredibly cheap but glad to finally have answers#like do we think shauna was dreaming or had she temporarily crossed over because like where was Jackie and the French dude#Iâd say it would make sense that Lottie could be there somehow#idk it reminded me a lot of Jackieâs death of course so I have many questions#I will say the cop story line is pretty stupid like no fucking way is any of this legal and also letâs kill that creep cop shauna#I will help you girl I will drive the get away car#I was also like wondering awhile ago if Lottieâa camp is near where the plane crash was#and my best friend and I were like no thereâs no way and then they tell us itâs in New York so like possibly close to the boarder?#I tried looking up cherry hill but I couldnât find anything idk itâs probably totally unlikely and they just also happen to be in the woods#I didnât get a preview for next week is there a preview? idk#my complaint this week is where is Jackie lmfao where is her ghost why wasnât she in sex ed give me something Iâm not ready to move on!!!!
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Stiles Stalinski and Shawn Spencer have way too much in common
#literally same character different fonts#stiles is shawn if he was in a different genre and also not the main character#btw stiles deserves to be the main character sorry not sorry#they even have SS names like ????#teen wolf#psych#psych tv#stiles stilinski#shawn spencer#both have cop dads#both are bi#dont tell me the âyou arent gayâ âi could be!â ânot in that outfitâ convo isnt shawn and henry codes#because you would be wrong and also crazy#give stiles an eidetic memory and make his dad obsessed with making him a cop and BOOM#its shawn.#okay im done ranting in the tags#đ
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Felt nostalgic for the Era where we thought vanny and vanessa were 2 different characters and just saw a video discussing how tape girl was probably going to be vanny and work with vanessa under glitchtrap. Yk before security breach went to development superhell with the cuts.
I also watched scream recently
This all has sparked a wonderful new idea were tape girl and vanessa are now a duo akin to billy and stu
Making the vanny furpersona the ghostface parallel
#yeah this is what ive been looking for#did i make this just so i could draw gay fanart of vanny in That image from scream#idk are you a cop#now i just gotta decide whos gonna be the silly unhinged one#hmm#might incorporate this into my au/rewrote#my vanny design already has duality#hmmmm#thinking real hard#vanny#fnaf vanessa#tape girl fnaf#vanny fnaf#fnaf#five nights at freddyâs
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if you think you're being queerbaited so bad then why don't you stop watching 911?
lol because I'm old as hell and if I quit every mainstream western show when I knew I was being queerbaited, I would have no mainstream shows to watch, lol. Like I watched all six seasons of Nip/Tuck as they aired and I watched Glee, both Ryan Murphy shows, might I add. I remember when Ryan Murphy himself said Brittany and Santana were just a throwaway joke until he realized that show was being watched by kids, something he's not used too, and that they actually needed to see lesbian teenagers and decided to actually make them a thing. Just because I know something is queerbait, especially in a Ryan Murphy show, and sometimes get upset over that, doesn't mean I'll stop watching. It just means sometimes I get drunk on the internet and get in my feelings.
As for stopping watching 911, I have vested interests in continuing to watch. Jennifer Love Hewitt and Angela Bassett are both two of my Roots. And Peter Krause killed it as Nate Fisher, so I'll also watch him do most things. But this is tumblr dot com, so I only focus on buddie. Which, I'm sorry to say, I don't think is ever going to be anything canon. Like when I first found this show, I really thought it was gonna be a real thing, then I found out it was a Ryan Murphy show and gave up hope. But after fully watching, I started to genuinely believe it maybe was going there (the shooting mainly, though the tsunami with Eddie flat out telling Buck he knows Buck loves Christopher, Eddie's CHILD, as much as Eddie does made me start clowning) but I don't believe that anymore and it's kinda obvious in the show.
If I said the dreaded queerbait words on any of your posts and you don't like that, feel free to block me. That's not even like shady or petty or whatever. I don't want to make a creator uncomfortable with my tags, which I will always make. But if not, I mean, well I guess you can block me too? lol. It's not a big thing. It's the internet baby. I block everyone and anyone for the most minor things because we should all curate our own tumblr experiences, lol.
#911#asks#buddie#I'm drunk and this probably doesn't make sense so oops but like#I think buddie is queerbait#I don't think buddie is ever going to be an acknowledged canon thing of Eddie and Buck having feelings for each other#but I still like witnessing it#even when I'm drunk and very sad it's not gay#because I don't actually understand why it's not#like okay I do#it's because it's a COP SHOW on FOX like they're not doing surprise gays#lone star could do it because it wasn't a surprise it was a thing from damn near the start#but buddie? when they've both had girlfriends and ex wives and kids and shit?#please be logical about this#and not like gen z logical which y'all are right and I understand and love you#but this is a cop show on fox#athena is a whole ass black woman cop on fox y'all#there's a reason for that#buddie is not gonna happen#we can look for clues but as I always say#please give me an example of a ~slowburn~ 4+ years in the making#especially when neither of the pairing have even had CANON queer experiences#that doesn't mean I don't love them#christopher has two dads#but like it's not gonna happen and sometimes I get V V Upset over that#but it is what it is lol#regular clyde
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If I see any more misinformation about Kamala Harris to dissuade people from voting I will explode.
1. She did a lot of work as a prosecutor to dismantle the system. When she was DA in San Francisco she was labeled as being âsoft on crimeâ which she in turn claimed was âsmart on crimeâ. Harris made a program called Back on Track so that low-level nonviolent drug offenders could enroll in school rather than doing jail time. She has believe and continues to believe that supporting people prevents crime far better than criminalizing people.
Yes, she put people behind bars. I know she called herself the âTop Copâ and I fucking hate that. However, the number of people who served time in jail was significantly reduced due to her program. Sheâs not a saint, but she tried to reduce harm as much as she could in her position. Since then, sheâs called for even more action in terms of legalizing marijuana and I believe recently fully endorsed it publicly.
2. She is not transphobic. Harris backed the state of California when it tried to deny gender-affirmation surgery to a trans prisoner, but as attorney general, she could not deny the stateâs Department of Corrections as a client of hers. Essentially, she had no say in the denial of surgery herself, as she had to represent the departmentâs interests over her own. Once she realized what they were doing, Harris actually worked behind the scenes to get that very policy changed so that any inmate who needs that care could get it. Additionally, she has lead efforts to put an end to gay and transgender âpanicâ defenses in criminal trials.
3. Kamala Harris is Black. For some reason, people like to say that she isnât, and that sheâs Indian and pretending to be black⌠for what reason? Depends on whoâs telling the lie to begin with. Kamala Harris is Black and South Asian. Her father, Donald Harris, is a Black man who was born in Jamaica. Her mother, Shyamala Gopalan, was born in India. Speculating about her race with so much evidence towards the contrary is so wrong. If anyone tells you shit about this, just send them her whitehouse.gov biography.
4. Harris (reportedly) has different opinions than Biden on Palestine. Whether or not she makes a clear stance against Israel, I donât know. That hasnât happened yet, but Iâll remain hopeful until further notice. She reportedly tried to push Biden towards âa policy on Gaza that was both more humane and in alignment with international lawâ but wasnât listened to. The only reason why this is one of my points is that Iâve seen a lot of people stating that she is totally behind every decision and stance Biden made as president, which isnât necessarily true. I donât want to give her credit for being pro-Palestine if she isnât, just to be clear. That is not what Iâm trying to do here.
I desperately want her to stand for a free Palestine. I cannot make the promise that this will happen. All I can hope for is that her policy will be less harmful than Trumpâs- who wants Israel to âfinish the jobâ and promises to âthrow (pro-Palestinian protestors) out of the countryâ.
Conclusion: the fact of the matter is that people make shit up all of the time. Sometimes itâs propaganda they accidentally absorb, sometimes itâs deliberate misinformation. People often take rumors as facts, and we need to be more vigilant about it. What I know is that some people will do anything for you to not vote tor Kamala Harris, when in reality sheâs our only hope here.
Is Harris my favorite person ever? Absolutely not. Does she share my exact views and opinions? Nope. Would I rather vote for someone who more aligns with my personal views? Yes.
Is voting for Harris the only way to stop Donald Trump and Project 2025? Yes.
Disclaimer for the blog: To be 100% transparent, this is only my (Fanyaâs) opinions. Although this is a shared blog, I cannot claim that my stance and my voice speaks for everybody involved in this blog. Some members are not American. Some may have different takes. All I know is that all of us are anti-Trump. Donât go after my friends if you have beef with what Iâm saying. Iâm trying my best here.
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The funniest phenomenon is how consistently the people with "punk" or "genderfucked" in their usernames, virginia possum fursonas, anarchists with anarchist patches and pins on their jackets, "be gay do crimes" types, acab in bio etc. end up being the most likely people to defend the status quo. The vast majority are yanks or brits and they love the aesthetics of counter-culture but in the most mainstream and acceptable ways. They are some of the most likely people to call the cops on you for shoplifting or having your tits out at a pride parade or at a protest. They are some of the most likely people to defend IP, small business and homesteading. You can almost always expect them to harass you, report you or even attack you for being a communist. You can pretty much always expect them to fall in line with the geopolitics of their country even if they disagree with this or that party or say they hate the state.
It's really funny and really predictable. Once a person has at least a couple of these qualities, you immediately know what kind of politics they're otherwise going to have. Like you could make a bingo game out of it.
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How to Tell If That Post of Advice Is AI Bullshit
Right, I wasn't going to write more on this, but every time I block an obvious AI-driven blog, five more clutter up the tags. So this is my current (April 2024) advice on how to spot AI posts passing themselves off as useful writing advice.
No Personality - Look up a long-running writing blog, you'll notice most people try to make their posts engaging and coming from a personal perspective. We do this because we're writers and, well, we want to convey a sense of ourselves to our readers. A lot of AI posts are straight-forward - no sense of an actual person writing them, no variation in tone or text.
No Examples - No attempts to show how pieces of advice would work in a story, or cite a work where you could see it in action. An AI post might tell you to describe a person by highlighting two or three features, and that's great, but it's hard to figure out how that works without an example.
Short, Unhelpful Definitions - A lot of what I've seen amount to two or three-sentence listicles. 'When you want to write foreshadowing, include a hint of what you want foreshadowed in an earlier chapter.' Cool beans, could've figured that out myself.
SEO/AI Prompt Language Included - I've seen way too many posts start with "this post is about..." or "now we will discuss..." or "in this post we will..." in every single blog. This language is meant to catch a search engine or is ChatGPT reframing the prompt question. It's not a natural way of writing a post for the average tumblr user.
Oddly Clinical Language - Right, I'm calling out that post that tried to give advice on writing gay characters that called us "homosexuals" the entire time. That's a generative machine trying to stay within certain parameters, not an actual person who knows that's not a word you'd use unless you were trying to be insulting or dunking on your own gay ass in the funniest way possible.
Too Perfect - Most generative AI does not make mistakes (this is how many a student gets caught trying to use it to cheat). You can find ways to make it sound more natural and have it make mistakes, but that takes time and effort, and neither of those are really a factor in these posts. They also tend to have really polished graphics and use the same format every time.
Maximized Tags (That Are Pointless) - Anyone who uses more than 10 one-word tags is a cop. Okay, fine, I'm joking, but there's a minimal amount of tags that are actually useful when promoting a post. More tags are not going to get a post noticed by the algorithm, there is no algorithm. Not everyone has to use their tags to make snarky comments, but if your tags look like a spambot, I'm gonna assume you're a spambot.
No Reblogs From The Rest of Writblr - I'm always finding new Writblr folks who have been around for awhile, but every real person I've seen reblogs posts from other people. We've all got other stuff to do, I'm writing this blog to help others and so are they, the whole point of tumblr is to pass along something you think is great.
While you'll probably see some variation in the future - as people get wise to obviously generated text, they'll try to make it look less generated - but overall, there's still going to be tells to when something is fake.
I don't have any real advice for what to do about this (other than block those blogs, which is what I do). Like most AI bullshit, I suspect most of these blogs are just another grift, attempting to build large follower counts to leverage or sell something to in the future. They may progress past these tattletale features, but I'm still going to block them when I see them. I don't see any value in writing advice compiled from the work of better writers who put the effort in when I can just go find those writers myself.
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"the public education system is intently evil and all teachers are abusive because it was the worst experience ever for me personally"
guys, look, I'm legitimately sorry that happened to you. that's fucked up. it shouldn't have happened, and it shouldn't be allowed to happen again to you or anyone else. I'm sorry.
public school was hard for me too, at times, and I'm still suffering the consequences for the harsh grading, the arbitrary deadlines, the hours of completely useless-to-me homework. I could name a few teachers who have been pretty fucking terrible. the fact that nobody considered getting me evaluated for ADHD has had an impact on my self image and academic success that I can't erase.
and also.
I grew up in an area where education, in particular, is incredibly progressive-leaning. educators are working really hard to create and try out education philosophies and practices that prioritize kids and their learning, rather than teachers and what they think kids should learn.
My sex ed was comprehensive, and came entirely from school. My gay sixth grade teacher taught me about HIV/AIDs in a useful, accurate way. In high school, I learned about the way orgasms work & I was prepared not to feel shame for normal stuff.
I learned that Communism was not what the USSR actually practiced, and what it really means. I learned about atrocities and, specifically, the genocide of indigenous people committed in/by the US. I learned about the military industrial complex, the school-to-prison pipeline, and I learned about manifestations of racism specific to my local area. I learned about Stonewall, and the intersection of the civil rights movement with gay rights and disability justice.
My creative writing teacher taught us about LSD, and the real reasons we shouldn't do it, after a hilariously ineffective assembly run by some local cops. He spoke gently, carefully, and emphatically about his friends and his own experiences. Later in the semester, he read us a story he wrote about two gay men finding each other in a deeply homophobic environment.
My sci-fi teacher made me feel safe & seen as a kid with "weird" interests. My US History teacher helped me research and put together a 10-page paper on the modern relevance and mission of Feminism. My government teacher made me feel appreciated for the work I put into the class, and the thought I put into what I said in it, even though he disagreed with a lot of it. My sixth grade teacher bought me books to read with his personal money, whichever ones I asked for. My third grade teacher made me feel safe. My science teacher in middle school made me excited for and passionate about science, and saw and nurtured the effort I put into her class.
A lot of stuff sucks, absolutely. But I am seeing new teaching methods being tried out all the time, and I am watching teachers get really excited when I teach their students about the roots of modern graffiti in US black history & to question property laws, and just...
There's hope. there are so many people doing so much work to make things better. so many people agree with you on what education should be, and are trying so fucking hard to put that into action, and so many public schools- not just teachers, but whole schools and even districts- are really doing that work. so much is getting better.
I had more to say, about necessary childcare and trusted adults and outside contacts and time away from abusive family. But like. Please just sit down and listen to more people on this, and please talk to educators and education professionals about what's really going on in this big huge world of philosophy, science, and practice.
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Propaganda
Peter Falk (The Great Race, Robin and the 7 Hoods)âlet me just quote Frank Capra: "the entire production was agony ... except for Peter Falk. He was my joy, my anchor to reality. Introducing that remarkable talent to the techniques of comedy made me forget pains, tired blood, and maniacal hankerings to murder Glenn Ford (the film's star)." i also just find scrungly little guys to be the peak of attraction.
Conrad Veidt (The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, The Man Who Laughs)âthe ultimate goth boy! as well as classics like the cabinet of dr caligari, the man who laughs (which his character in was the visual inspiration for the joker) and casablanca, he starred in the german polemic melodrama different from the others in 1919 in one of the first sympathetic portrayals of gay characters in cinema, co-written by the gay researcher & activist magnus hirschfeld much of whose pioneering research on human sexual diversity was destroyed by the nazis
This is round 3 of the bracket. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage man.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut]
[editor's note: I received such an enormous volume of propaganda for Veidt I could only include some of it hereâand unfortunately Tumblr isn't letting me repost any gifs at all, which I didn't expect! Please don't be offended if something you sent in didn't make the cut.]
"Just look at him your honor. Ich wĂźrde"
Submitted: Tumblr thread on Veidt
Submitted: Tumblr post on Veidt
Peter Falk propaganda:
"listen Peter Falk saved the day for me in robin in the 7 hoods. he saved me in it's a mad mad mad mad world. he damn right resuscitated me in the great race. every movie this man is in is made better by his presence and he should eat the competition alive."
Submitted: "1:56:30 on for Peter Falk's ass in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. yes he falls off a building yes he drives a cab yes he hates the cops"
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i notice frequently this rhetoric of white people mocking other white people for their political involvement/racial politics/sjw behavior (outdated term i know but i have been seeing this attitude for a long time) that amounts to creating basically an anti-strawman? in essence itâs like. there are these white people getting up in arms about racial issues that no person of color actually cares about. no real person of color cares about racist jokes, thatâs just sensitive white people. no real people of color (pre-2020) are advocating THAT strongly against the police, thatâs just sensitive white people. as a result, i donât have to do anything about these issues because theyâre all being entirely made up by white savior types who all of us hate. (side note: I also used to see this rhetoric with a LOT of other issues like how sjw girls are campaigning against homophobia towards gay men that gay men donât care about, or for trans people that trans people donât care about, or for disabled people etc., but i feel like it only really still survives in racial politics)
i think about this often, but iâm especially thinking about an experience i had recently that made it so actually visible to me how much of a lie it is. my campus had an encampment and there was a lot of social media presence saying how everyone there was just rich and privileged white people who could afford to play pretend at protesting and have never had to be scared of the cops in their lives. and i saw how, while there was still a majority of white people because thatâs the make up of my school, there was a HIGH percentage of students of color, of Black students, of Muslim students; way higher than i have seen in just a headcount of my classes. and they were bringing with them writings from authors of color and learnings from histories of other protests which they had also been arrested at. i knew people there personally who i know are not just well off kids who can afford whatever happens to them. people WERE making sacrifices doing stuff that can enact change that helps palestinians. there were palestinians there!!!
idk. itâs just very common and very suspect rhetoric and it boggles me that people still use it. tldr: if someone is taking you that an issue affecting marginalized people is only being advocated about by those who are not, question why they only hear it from the people not being harmed before you dismiss the issue. people may not feel safe around them, or they may be willfully manipulating the facts
#this is definitely one of those white people talking to other white people type posts#i feel like people of color like. obviously already know what issues they care about no matter what some white people say#but iâm still interested in pointing it out
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the light behind your eyes (steddie timeloop; pre-bat attackđŚ)
feat. Eddie falling hard and fast when Steve's had innumerable loops to have already fallen â¨đ¤â¨
âNot that I am not, hmmmm,â and he can barely bite back a moan; ânot thatâs Iâm not fucking ecstatic, Harrington,â Eddie mouths against the lips on his, and he means it, too, he is in fucking heaven right now because not only is the hottest guy Eddieâs ever seen in real life and probably also in, like, magazines and stuff too: that guy is kissing him, touching him, running hands up under his shit and teasing his waistband, rutting a little against his thigh butâŚheâs doing it almost like itâs routine, like itâs not quite desperate, or not just desperate, expect for the touch of it and so no, Eddie doesnât have to understand it at all for him to not be fucking complaining in the slightestâ
Save that pointing out that he isnât complaining stops Harringtonâs hands on his body cold, freezes the lips pressed against him mid-suck and then they pull back, and Eddieâs panting so hard it burns, and he wants to whine, heâs only just learned the taste of this man but he wants more, itâs like heâs addicted already but then kinda like he always has been, like the deepest cells of him, the mitochondria from the textbooks he didnât fucking read: itâs like it all knows the shape of this body, the flavor, andâ
And thatâs fucking ridiculous, but when Harrington pulls away?
Eddie kinda feels like the worldâs ending.
And it is ending, in a way. Interdimensional madmen serial killers and all that, but.
This is different.
âSteve.â
Eddie frowns and canât help but reach, frame Steveâs face even as Steve tries to shy away but still leans into the touch, and Eddie doesnât understand; not least how Steve sounds so fucking shattered around his own goddamn nameâ
âCan you,â and Steveâs breathing heaves, shudders: the kind that lives between sobs but Steveâs cheeks are dry under Eddieâs palms and that almost feels all the more heartbreaking:
âI know it feels like you barely know me but,â and Steve blinks so fast, then heâs scrunching his eyes so tight and that, that might be why his cheeks are dry and oh: this is it. He thought before but:
This is the heartbreaking thing.
âCould you call me Steve? Please?â
And god, good fucking god but he asks it so small. Itâs pleading and kinda edged in something desperate but here, from this titan of a man Eddieâs seen anew just these past days, this warrior barbarian his sheepies sand the praises of, this paladin out of the shadows come to save them all: heâs so small.
Eddieâs hands donât move from Steveâs face, just draw him closer, upward on instinct until their brows touch, until Eddie can breathe in every shaky exhale that spills forth.
âSteve,â and maybe Eddie doesnât quite understand the why, here, but he sure as shit savors the shape of that name on his tongue anyway, fucking sue him; ânot that every single fucking version of my gay little fantasies arenât dancing like theyâre at queer fucking prom,â and he pauses, because he expects Steve to snort, maybe, expects to lighten the moment so charged, and not just with the kind of tension that tightens Eddieâs jeansâand Steve does make a sound for Eddieâs stupid little not-quite-joke, but itâs not a chuckle.
Itâs a moanâbut not the good kind. The kind that means pain.
And itâs almost worrisome, how when Eddie pulls Steve closer, he doesnât fight it one bit; leans in almostâŚnot even greedy. Almost fucking anguished.
âBut this is just because itâs the end of the world, right?â Eddie makes himself ask, because too many things donât add up, not least how Steve doesnât even try to pull away, barely moves at all save just to breathe, and just to press closer into the crook of Eddieâs neck to do it.
âItâs just because Iâm a wanted man whether itâs the cops, or the feds, or that fucker with the clock and the music,â Eddie rambles; doesnât move his hand where itâs slipped to the side of Steveâs neck like an intimacy, though, doesnât even consider shifting a fucking centimeter away from the heavy pulse of life surging under his palm. âLike, I mean, whether itâs 20-to-life or an electric chair or the batsââ
Itâs the way the chest against him shudders that trips him up; not least to realize how close they are, that theyâve gotten, that Steveâs heartbeatâs something he can tease out without effort at all there, too, andâŚ
Eddie glances up a little further to see Steve staring at the ceiling of the trailer, eyes glistening, the effort not to fucking cry evident as anything and, just, likeâŚ
What the fuck?
âSteve?â Eddie hedges a little, gentles his voice further because even though he doesnât let a single tear fall, just seeing this man so close to it, while staying so close to Eddie, itâs, he justâŚ
He canât even try to lighten the moment, canât even push didnât realize I was that bad of a kisser, fuck past his lips.
âGive me a minute,â Steve doesnât even rasp, just says even but so so quiet, and again, just so so small. ItâsâŚ
Itâs not even heartbreaking anymore. Eddieâs whole chest just fucking hurts.
âYou okay?â Eddie ventures after what has to be more than a literal minute; when Steve stops staring at the ceiling but screws his eyes close tight again to pull creases at their corners, between his brows; and Eddie whispers the question when he even dares to speak at all because something in this moment feelsâŚfragile. Sacred in some way, even if he canât name how or why. He waits, and Steve doesnât move, barely breathes for the longest time so much it starts to kindle real fear in Eddieâs chest, so itâs only once Steve half-gasps and gets back to his lungs working like Eddie wants them to, once that holds for a while and Eddie understands that the closest to an answer that heâs going to getâhe lets Steve breathe, and lets the feeling of it calm Eddie down, too, before he does the stupidest, most selfish fucking thing and asks, again:
âWhat is this, though?â
The way Steve sucks in his breath at the words cuts Eddie sharp; he shouldnât have said anything. He should have let this lie and justâŚenjoyed a little bit of impossibility at the end of the world that wasnât a bad thing.
He thinks maybe thatâs what pushed him over, though, and made his tongue move, to shape the question at all: itâs so fucking far from a bad thing that itâsâŚit makes too much lightness in Eddie that heâs never felt before. Even in the absolute shit of this entire situation, Eddieâs basically nonexistent future on the horizon if he manages somehow to make it out of the next 48 hours alive: this is something that makes him feel like he could hope.
Hope even for the most absolutely absurd fucking things.
And hope like that has to make anyone fucking selfish.
âThis?â Steve glances indicatively between them, with a quirked brow that he pulls off perfectly but it canât land like it should, not for Eddie whoâs just watched this gorgeous human swallow the stages of grief whole where heâsâŚheâs pulled back, Eddie realizes, Eddie canât feel him chest-to-chest anymore and the idea of itâs a crushing thing, but itâs got nothing on the realityâeither way, though, heâs hovering over Eddie now, still close, likely has been for a while andâŚand shit: his arms hadnât even given out.
What the fuck kind ofâŚsuperhuman stuff is this man made of?
âThought it was obvious,â Steve chuckles, and that part, that sound rings hollow: Eddieâs had enough of a latent-forever crush on this boy for enough years to maybe have never heard this kind of chuckle but, itâs off. Eddie knows itâs notâŚwhat it should be.
Steve laughing is some kind of sunshine, nearly always, like a rule. Eddie knows that much.
âMust have lost my charm,â Steve grimaces while he looks down, down, hides from...Eddie doesnât know what from, exactly. Save that whatever it is, he wants to hide a little, too.
But hiding, now, means that heâll turn from Steve. And EddieâŚEddie wants to hide from the nameless horrible thing thatâs swelling up in the space around them.
But Eddie doesnât want to miss a second of Steve. Heâs kind of afraid of the very concept of it, missing anyâŚpart of Steve. He knows theyâre on borrowed time. Heâs also not entirely sure this isnât all of fever dream, maybe he got scraped by one of the nasty-ass rusted nails in the boathouse and all of this is just tetanus or some shit. Maybe itâs the X-Men-knockoff wizard fucking with Eddieâs head by giving him the unthinkable sort of thing heâs always wanted.
Whatever it is: Eddie cannot miss a second of it.
âThis, yeah,â Eddie reaches to brush Steveâs chest where his heartâs still pounding, even when itâs not presses flush to Eddieâs anymore, even when theyâe stopped kissing too many minutes ago for an excuse; âyou more that live up to the hype, big boy,â Eddie chuckles a little, tries to make it warm, fucking grateful; âexceed it even,â Eddie adds, canât help but splay his fingers and stroke up and down a little over the street of Steveâs shirt.
âBut,â because Eddieâs selfish. Because touching Steve slow like this, even as heâs so stiff and his pulse is so fucking scared: take out the frantic pace of what it means to feel him, and EddieâŚthe hopeâs all the stronger, now. The wanting.
The selfishness.
âThis,â and Eddie lets his hand move to the notch in Steve throat, like his body knew heâs feel the pulse there as much as the shiver, and the hard swallow after he asks, one more time:
âWhat is this.â
And Eddie forces his gaze from Steveâs skin to Steveâs face, where his eyes are blown and his colorâs off, too pale even in the dark.
Where heâs fucking beautiful, even as he steels himself and takes a deep breath, less like a diver to the depths and more like a man facing an executioner. Jesus.
But his gaze is still so tender, like whatever hurt he comes to know for what heâs about to do is acceptable, so long as it doesnât touch Eddie, doesnât spill over. Like heâsâŚshielding Eddie from something worse than everything thatâs already come, somehow, and thatâs fucking terrifying in and of itself butâ
But SteveâSteve who he barely knows but feels like he knows somewhere deep in his chest that feels knew and known somehow before these moments, like it was made only for the feelings and the certainties he holds in regard to Steve, Steve, Steve, like maybe that space inside of him was only made on some cosmic level not just for the person who made him feel this way against all odds, but maybe made only and specifically just for Steveâbut Steve protecting Eddie, and hurting all the more for taking the hit?
Itâs unacceptable. Itâs sour in Eddieâs veins.
âIf I fuck it up again, it wonât matter, I guess,â Steve seems to speak to himself, mutters low even for the soft quiet theyâre holding between them. He doesnât even know if heâs seeing Eddie for how far away he looks, sounds, like heâs reasoning with the universe.
That tips the sour feeling straight into full on sick.
But before Eddie can say anything, do anything, Steveâs sitting up, drawing back: Eddie canât help the way he whimpers in the back of his throat for the loss; if the loss feels like more than just the closeness, the promise of itâif it feels like the moments to come are poised to change the world.
âDonât say anything until Iâm done, okay?â Steve asks, implores. Eddieâs powerless against it.
His throatâs already too dry to do anything but nod.
Steve looks, nearly studies him, wide-eyed and needy andâŚEddie just wants to hold him.
He just wants to hold him, and keep him.
ââKay,â Steve exhales heavy, shaky, like his heartbeatâs knocking around his lungs so thereâs no possible world where he could have breathed out steady, where no one could, no matter how strong.
âIâm in love with you.â
Eddieâfor wholly other reasons he suspectsâgets his own dose of his lungs getting knocked around for how his heart trips and stumbles around those wholly fucking impossible and insane and desperately wanted words echo through his head, his ribs.
âAnd it might not make and fuckinâ sense to you, but,â and Steveâs breath hitches as he reaches, as he pauses like heâs not sure heâs allowed; âEds,â and thatâs not a thing heâs called so often, and certainly not in that tone, gutted but so steeped inâŚhe said it and itâs true, because that name, hisname on Steveâs lips is fucking saturated in love and how, sure, but the fact of its undeniable enough that the semantics, the mechanics of it: irrelevant.
Would have mattered in the face of something lesser, but.
This isnât that other-lesser thing.
So Eddie grabs those questioning hands and brings them to his cheeks where theyâd been looking to land, to frame his face: to let them both feelthis, however it came to be, whatever else it holds inside.
He looks Steve in the eyes as he holds Steveâs hands to frame his own face like heâs something dear: because it is love. Unmistakably. Steve isnât lying, or exaggerating.
And Eddieâs halfway fucking there with him, just to look at it.
Save for the way it also looks devastated. Also looksâŚin the kind of pain that doesnât end, but somehow doesnât fade. The scab you rip off to start the process over and over, to hurt all over again.
âIâve been trying to save you so many times,â and Steveâs voice hitches some more around it, and it should probably cause more question, those words; should definitely cause more questions for Eddie himself, given how he accepts it so fastâthe fairly clear implication.
âIâve held your body in my hands so many times,â and Steve sounds broken for it in ways that even he, Edward Munson, who has seen what heâs seen these past few days, didnât know a body, or a soul, could withstand and survive.
Also: okay. Okay.
More than an implication, before. Yep. Okay. Butâ
âTimes?â Eddie finds himself croaking becauseâŚheâd jumped straight to saving his life but, but: times?
How many fucking times has Steve scratched the scar off and started again? How hard, how deep is the scar tissue?
âIâve broken your ribs trying to convince this,â and Steveâs handâs sliding down from one side of Eddieâs face to settle over Eddieâs still fumbling heart, hand stretched wide like it wants to hold the thing whole and true and safe: âto come back, back to meââ
And Steveâs voice cleaves down the center then, just flat out fucking gives out. And EddieâŚ
Eddieâs an impulsive person. Eddieâs not what youâd callâŚcircumspect, doesnât pull his punches once he feel inclined to run, to or from or alongside anything in his life.
And even he has never felt so strongly about anything than then thing that spills form him in absolute earnest, with the whole of his mess of a chest and the entire weight of his wild frantic heart:
âSweetheart,â Eddie takes the one hand thatâs not holding Steveâs to his face anymore and reaches, strokes his thumb so gently over Steve bottom lip, and yeah he takes in the way Steveâs eyes widen for it, the way he shifts from shattered to shocked in a second: but itâs all peripheral.
But the whole of Eddie is invested in the one thing he needs to know. More than he needs air to fucking breathe:
âHow can I stay with you?â
And he watches Steveâs jaw drop as he moves his hand from those lips to cover Steveâs own hand one more time, still on toppings chest and he doesnât think twice before damn near close-on begging:
âWhat do I need to do?â
Steve stills. Blinks.
âWhat?â
âI might not have had the pleasure just yet,â Eddie tries to sort the words out as he goes because his heart hurts so hard but at the same time itâs so full: âbut Iâm looking at you,â and he is, heâs looking at Steve and seeing so much, so many things, things that are there and things that could be there in the foreseeable future and things that Eddie can fantasize and dream of being his whole-ass future and just, just, justâ
âYou love me?â
Steve nods, lips still parted. No hesitation. Not a question.
Jesus.
And Eddieâs heartâs still racing, faster now, even but forâŚ
Not just for fear, or shock, or lust, orâŚany of it.
Not for anything so simple as all that, now.
âAnd I die?â Eddie chides himself when Steve flinches ever so slightly, tries to find a gentler way to pitch the words when he speaks again because the point itself is thorny, he canât make it soft:
âIâve,â Eddie licks his lips; âIâve died a lot of times?â
And he waits, and Steveâs blinks a lot of time really fucking fast, but then, again: he nods.
And Eddieâs heart hurts harder at the confirmation, and Steveâs clear bid not to shed a single fucking yearâhis heart hurts harder, but poundsharder for bigger reasons because fuck, fuckâ
âAnd youâve loved me enough to somehow bend time and space to try and undo it, to try and stop it?â
And if Steveâs got the trick to that magic, it stills the moment, stops time around them both as Eddie sees the words as they sink in for Steve, as they register and shift the shade of his gaze ever so slightly, brighter and deeper and magnetic and EddieâŚ
Eddie doesnât need him to nod. Just looking him, just feeling everything that gaze is giving, solely for him, is all the answer he needs.
âSo how do I get even the chance to stick around enough to deserve it?â Eddie asks, because he needs to know so that he can make sure he does it to the letter, and then fifty million times over to be sure. âTo get to feel it full on,â because for as much as heâs already feeling, he canât only imagine what it would be to feel it for an hour, a day, a week, aâŚa lifetime. He can only image.
And he fucking wants.
âWhat do I have to do to be able to feel this for more than a couple minutes,â and Steveâs eyes shift again, because he hears what Eddieâs saying, not hiding so much as trying to cram in: he feels this already, and at the same time knows itâs sample sized when what he craves, what he needs is something too big to measure; âto feel this, and return it twenty-fold and for the long haul,â and Steveâs still staring, still kinda gaping, so Eddie forces himself to pause, to ask even if everything points to a singular answerâhe forces himself to wait and make super fucking sure:
âIf youâll have me?â
Steve blinks, frowns, then asks, voice hoarse:
âYou believe me?â and he says it so slow, disbelieving himself. âLike, you get what Iâm saying, and you, you,â he flounders, looks cast adrift and closer to tears now than heâs been yet and EddieâŚ
Eddie canât let that just be.
âOf course I do.â
And maybe itâs not of course exactly, in the sense that Eddie doesnât have questions, like a fuckton of questions but: he doesnât have doubt, not in Steve. Somehow of all that he doesnât know and that makes no sense, he does know that Steve is where his faithâif he was ever going to have any in anythingâis meant to sit, whatever that means, whatever that demands accepting.
âOf course, sweetheart,â Eddie says with so much of himself he never knew was actually inside him to speak, to beg such truth. He didnât know.
âSo please, please tell me,â he fucking please it; âwhat do I do?â
Because he knows now. The breadth of what can, could, does, will live in his chest. And once he knows it?
Heâs gonna fight like hell to have the whole of it. For always.
âTo get to have this,â Eddie reaches, canât help but brush some of Steveâs hair behind his ear and justâŚconsider him. Marvel a little at the fact that the world is changing, Eddie can feel it, and itâs because this man loves him.
Him.
âThis thing Iâve never even considered getting to know,â Eddie strokes Steveâs jaw and asks the only question left:
âWhat do I have to do to have the chance fall in love with you?â
Because Eddie doesnât care if he has to lob off a fucking arm. Heâll do it. Heâll learn to play his guitar with his goddamn feet before he lets this chance go.
âDonât be a hero.â
Eddieâs face must do something at the sorta sudden kind of outburst from Steve, because Steve ducks his head down a little and smiles almost apologetic, and still so fucking sad.
âI tell you not to be cute about it, and not to try to be a hero, but you are, you do, every time,â Steve tells him, explains, and that part at least tracks: heâs a contrarian to his detriment butâŚhe doesnât want to believe heâd do it when the stakes are this high. Not without a good reason and he canâtâŚimagine a good enough reason to leave this man so broken, and still fighting nonetheless.
He canât imagine any reason in the whole fucking world good enough for that.
âThen I wonât,â Eddie says, because: well. Itâs an easy fix in general, but like, heâs no fucking hero, so then itâs even easier.
âYou will,â Steve smiles the saddest goddamn smile Eddieâs ever seen in his whole entire life., I too of the string of sad smiles heâs been treated to so far. âYou always do,â and the resignation in stage a tone is only outweighed by theâŚpride, almost, for what heâs declaring against all odds to be true.
âJust, just,â Steve seems to debate with himself for a second, maybe whether he wants to fight the weight of established precedent one more time, wants to scratch off that scab in a whole knew way, because it felt like Steve was watching this play out different when Eddie believed him, and asked to work with him to make the wrongs right instead of aiding the process of his own ruin, and what looked like Steveâs own process of self-immolation in slow motion, over and again. Eddie gets why he pauses.
But itâs not even long enough to be called hesitation, really, before heâs diving in and giving Eddie the playbook, with no guarantee or even a whole lot of hope based on existing evidence to trust.
Eddie feels the magnitude of the living in a whole new way, on a whole new level, for that, as Steve speaks:
âWhen you do, when youâre a hero again because you always are, I need you to run when youâre done. We will be okay, I know what Iâm dealing with now, I know how,â Steve says with. Steel creeping into his tone and Eddie wants more than anything to know what heâs planning to deal with, how Steve plans to stay safe because now Eddieâs heartâs tied up on the opposite end of the equation and heâŚhe canât survive and have it only flip the tables, have there still be a loss because Eddieâs not made of what Steveâs made of, and sure heâs only had a taste of this, but heâŚ
He wonât survive losing it. Even just the taste.
âDonât buy us more time,â Steve cuts back into Eddieâs headspace, the more important voice; the most important; âyou do more than enough, I need you to trust me and I know you donât have a reason toââ
âI trust you.â
And thatâs unequivocal. Eddie trusts Steve. The end.
âHow will I know when Iâm done?â Because if Steveâs willing to go through this for him, heâs going to fucking take notes to make sure he does his part in turns, makes sure this is the last fucking time.
âPlay the puppet master song,â which Steve doesnât know, no way heâd fucking know on his own and Eddie didnât doubt, but, likeâŚ
Jesus.
It takes a fucking second, just digesting what it means to be right for no doubting. Itâs heady. Terrifying.
But also like stars in his stomach. He feels reborn in the simple reality of believing in this person who loves him this hard.
âBlock the vents, donât ignore the vents. When Dustin goes up the rope, you follow. Pull it up after you and block it off, hold them off in case any stragglers stick around,â Steve tells him, doesnât sound skeptical, exactly, but justâŚmaybe wary. Rightly so, given theâŚprevious rounds of things. âWeâll need you to throw it back to us when weâre done.â
Eddie feels his face screw up a little because he wasnât paying the most attention but he really thinks, like:
âArenât there closer gatesââ
âIâll need to,â Steve swallows hard, the bob in his throat almost painful to watch because Eddie can almost imagine the weight of it, the way the same motionâs been repeated so many times and yet heâs still at it, heâs still tryingâ
For Eddie. Jesus fuck.
âIâll need to see.â
And if the hard-swallow wasnât heartbreakingâagain, every time Eddie thinks heâs been gutted entirely Steve goes and ups the fucking ante, good god, and he keeps doing this? He continues to say yes to this, these feelings, this, thisâŚthis, because if, for, forâŚ
But regardless how you slice it: the way Steveâs voice cracks, on just those four words?
Holy fucking Christâthis has to be whatâll kill Eddie harder, deeper down than anything Steveâs trying to save him from.
âI wonât fail you this time, Steve.â
And Eddie means it, even if the words themselves spill from him automatic: theyâre there to spill at all because Eddie means it, because Eddieâs heartâs never felt swollen like this before and he wants to give whatever itâs all fat and tender with to this man he barely knows butâŚmaybe he knows more important things about him than he knows about most people in his life. Nearly all people in his life.
And thatâs fucking has to count for something. For more than something.
âEddie,â Steve starts, like he wants to argue some point but Eddie isnât gonna have that, not now.
Not ever again, if he has anything to fucking say about it.
âNo,â Eddie cuts him off and this time, this time, itâs Eddie who reaches and cradles Steveâs face, holds him like heâs precious, as much as he can because this man is precious beyond reason, but human hands are only capable of so much care: he gives what he can.
He knows itâs not enough, and hopes his heart in his words will make up the difference.
âNo, this,â and he runs the pads of his thumbs beneath Steveâs eyes, because as gorgeous as they are, as he is: those eyes used to be bright. They were brightâŚbefore. When did they change, when did Steve from now like Eddie become Steve whoâs tried to start Eddieâs heart with his own hands, and couldnât?
Doesnât matter.
Steveâs eyes arenât supposed to be hollow behind the color; thereâs only supposed to be the sunshine.
Not the endless dark.
âIâve been taking it away, havenât I?â Eddie breathes out in a level of horror at the realization thatâs settling in the more he looks at Steve, and reads the toll heâs been paying, for Eddie. âI hate that, I hate that Iââ
âEddie,â Steve breathes, and the only shine in his eyes is tears and itâs wrong, itâs just wrong.
âIt gets taken away because yours isnât there anymore,â Steve reaches back, now, and holds Eddieâs face in his broad hands: âthe light in you,â and his voice cracks and he blinks and one tear.
One tear falls.
Eddieâs sternum splits in two.
âI want to know what it is to fall in love with you,â Eddie says in a rush, demands on the whole fucking cosmos: âthe whole way, because I think Iâm already halfway there,â and itâs true, itâs true because heâd give his life for Steve already so he understands, of Steveâs in longer and deeper, why heâs fighting despite the hurt, but, butâŚ
No more.
âAnd I want to earn it,â Eddie tells him. âI want you to fall for me not just because of, because of life and death stuff, or tied up in losing,â Eddie tries to fit the avalanche of feelings in him to words, prays itâs enough:
âI want it to be a,â he chokes, shakes his head and bites his tongue: âa good thing,â because he wants to be a good thing for this man. He wants to be only a good thing, as best he knows how.
âYou are a good thing,â Steve counters, and fierce with it; âyouâre the best thing.â
Eddieâs not strong enough to hold himself to just one tear when the floodgates break.
âI run when Henderson runs,â he breathes shakily. Itâs a vow more than anything he knows how to give.
âYou donât run,â Steve tells him, so soothing, still so protective of Eddie, always protective of Eddie; âyouâre so fucking brave, and you save our asses,â and he brings their foreheads to lean against each other as Eddieâs inhales trembles: âyouâre just gonna fall back this time, so you donât break my heart, too, okay?â
âOkay,â Eddie would agree to anything, at this point; this is easy. This he can do, no problem.
This he will do, no question.
âIâm sorry,â he finds himself whispering, becauseâŚbecause he has to.
He is so fucking sorry.
âYouâreâŚâ Steve starts, uncomprehending as Eddie just shakes his head, almost like a compulsion.
âIâm sorry Iâve disappointed you so many times,â Eddie hissed through clenched teeth, tries not to descend into blubbering, tries to maintain something like, if not composure, the capacity to be heard and known when he promises with his whole heart:
âI wonât do it again, I swear.â
And Steve watches him, eyes red rimmed and still brimming but carefully, assessing.
Eddie can help, though. He can put him a little bit at ease, or damn well fucking try.
âI already feel something,â and he brings Steveâs hand to his chest again, reminds them both his heartâs still beating in this world, in this time. âAnd Iâm too selfish Steve.â
Steve cocks his head in question; Eddie wants to watch this manâs quirks, learn the minutiae of his every expression.
Forever.
âI need the whole shebang.â
Steve smiles, watery and still strained but less sad, and thatâs something.
Itâs all they have time for, because he can hear everybody coming back with supplies, remembers theyâd been prepping for war.
Itâs all the have time forâfor now.
âIâm holding you to that,â Steve says, a little watery, a little shaky, a little unconvinced but wholly filled with love, still, and all together isnât only serves to harden Eddieâs resolve that much more.
âYou flake on me again?â Steve flips his fingers backward against Eddieâs shoulder in a poor excuse for a smack: âIâm gonna tie you to the driverâs seat next time, and leave Nance with Dustin.â
âThere wonât be a next time,â Eddie answers, dead serious; âexcept for one thing.â
Thereâs something molten, a glint that isnât tears when Steve lifts a brow in askance; when Eddie leans in and kisses Steve hard, deep, quick because they have to but it doesnât have to be anything else because he leaves his heart and soul in the exchange, willingly and willfully and all fucking in.
âThereâs gonna be a next time for that. I swear to god,â Eddie murmurs against Steve slips when he pulls back; âweâre gonna have so many next times.â
And when the door to the RV bursts open and everyone else spills in, Steveâs lips are a little swollen if youâre looking.
And Steveâs eyes still have that light.
For @klausinamarink, who requested 'The Light Behind Your EyesâMy Chemical Romance' at my HOBBIT-STYLE BIRTHDAY MONTH PROMPT FEST
â¨permanent tag list: OPEN (lmk if you want to be added/removed): @pearynice @hbyrde36 @slashify @finntheehumaneater @wxrmland @dreamwatch @perseus-notjackson @estrellami-1 @bookworm0690 @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @nerdyglassescheeseychick @swimmingbirdrunningrock @goodolefashionedloverboi @sanctumdemunson @theheadlessphilosopher @sadisticaltarts
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#steddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#hurt/comfort#emotional hurt/comfort#time loop#angst with a happy ending#pre-S4 vol 2 finale#time travel#true love#eddie munson lives#(in this timeline?)#basically: eddie munson lives (?) but steve has been going through it⢠trying to save him for like a bagilion resets of the time loop#stranger things#gift fic#a-little-unsteddie#hitlikehammers' hobbit-birthday prompt fest#hitlikehammers v words#hitlikehammers writes
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My alternate universe fantasy colonial Hong Kong is more authoritarian and just as racist but less homophobic than in real life, should I change that?
@floatyhands asked:
Iâm a Hongkonger working on a magical alternate universe dystopia set in what is basically British colonial Hong Kong in the late 1920s. My main character is a young upper middle-class Eurasian bisexual man. I plan to keep the colonyâs historical racial hierarchy in this universe, but I also want the fantasy quirks to mean that unlike in real life history, homosexuality was either recently decriminalized, or that the laws are barely enforced, because my boy deserves a break. Still, the institutions are quite homophobic, and this relative tolerance might not last. Meanwhile, due to other divergences (e.g. eldritch horrors, also the governmentâs even worse mishandling of the 1922 Seamen's Strike and the 1925 Canton-Hong Kong Strike), the colonial administration is a lot more authoritarian than it was in real history. This growing authoritarianism is not exclusive to the colony, and is part of a larger global trend in this universe. I realize these worldbuilding decisions above may whitewash colonialism, or come off as choosing to ignore one colonial oppression in favor of exaggerating another. Is there any advice as to how I can address this issue? (Maybe I could have my character get away by bribing the cops, though institutional corruption is more associated with the 1960s?) Thank you!
Historical Precedent for Imperialistic Gay Rights
There is a recently-published book about this topic that might actually interest you: Racism And The Making of Gay Rights by Laurie Marhoefer (note: I have yet to read it, itâs on my list). It essentially describes how the modern gay rights movement was built from colonialism and imperialism.Â
The book covers Magnus Hirschfeld, a German sexologist in the early 1900s, and (one of) his lover(s), Li Shiu Tong, who he met in British Shanghai. Magnus is generally considered to have laid the groundwork for a lot of gay rights, and his research via the Institut fĂźr Sexualwissenschaft was a target of Nazi book-burnings, but he was working with imperial governments in an era where the British Empire was still everywhere.Â
Considering they both ended up speaking to multiple world leaders about natural human sexual variation both in terms of intersex issues and sexual attraction, your time period really isnât that far off for people beginning to be slightly more open-mindedâwhile also being deeply imperialist in other ways.
The thing about this particular time period is homosexuality as we know it was recently coming into play, starting with the trial of Oscar Wilde and the rise of Nazism. But between those two is a pretty wildly fluctuating gap of attitudes.
Oscar Wildeâs trial is generally considered the period where gay people, specifically men who loved men, started becoming a group to be disliked for disrupting social order. It was very public, very scandalous, and his fall from grace is one of the things that drove so many gay and/or queer men underground. It also helped produce some of the extremely queercoded classical literature of the Victorian and Edwardian eras (ex: Dracula), because so many writers were exploring what it meant to be seen as such negative forces. A lot of people hated Oscar Wilde for bringing the concept to such a public discussion point, when being discreet had been so important.
But come the 1920s, people were beginning to wonder if being gay was that bad, and Mangus Hirschfeld managed to do a world tour of speaking come the 1930s, before all of that was derailed by wwii. He (and/or Li Shiu Tong) were writing papers that were getting published and sent to various health departments about how being gay wasnât an illness, and more just an âalternativeâ way of loving others.Â
This was also the era of Boston Marriages where wealthy single women lived together as partners (Iâm sure thereâs an mlm-equivalent but I cannot remember or find it). People were a lot less likely to care if you kept things discreet, so there might be less day to day homophobia than one would expect. Romantic friendships were everywhere, and were considered the idealâthe amount of affection you could express to your same-sex best friend was far above what is socially tolerable now.
Kaz Rowe has a lot of videos with cited bibliographies about various queer disasters [affectionate] of the late 1800s/early 1900s, not to mention a lot of other cultural oddities of the Victorian era (and how many of those attitudes have carried into modern day) so you can start to get the proper terms to look it up for yourself.
I know thereâs a certain⌠mistrust of specifically queer media analysts on YouTube in the current. Well. Plagiarism/fact-creation scandal (if you donât know about the fact-creation, check out Todd in the Shadows). I recommend Kaz because they have citations on screen and in the description that arenât whole-cloth ripped off from wikipediaâs citation list (theyâve also been published via Getty Publications, a museum press).Â
For audio-preferring people (hi), a video is more accessible than text, and sometimes the exposure to stuff thatâs able to pull exact terms can finally get you the resources you need. If text is more accessible, just jump to the description box/transcript and have fun. Consider them and their work a starting place, not a professor.Â
There is always a vulnerability in learning things, because we can never outrun our own confirmation bias and we always have limited time to chase down facts and sourcesâwe can only do our best and be open to finding facts that disprove what we researched prior.
Colonialismâs Popularity Problem
Something about colonialism that Iâve rarely discussed is how some colonial empires actually âallowâ certain types of âdevianceâ if that deviance will temporarily serve its ends. Namely, when colonialism needs to expand its territory, either from landing in a new area or having recently messed up and needing to re-charm the population.
By that I mean: if a fascist group is struggling to maintain popularity, it will often conditionally open its doors to all walks of life in order to capture a greater market. It will also pay its spokespeople for the privilege of serving their ends, often very well. Authoritarians know the power of having the token supporter from a marginalized group on payroll: it both opens you up directly to that personâs identity, and sways the moderates towards going âwell they allow [person/group] so they canât be that bad, and I prefer them.â
Like it or not, any marginalized group can have its fascist members, sometimes even masquerading as the progressives. Being marginalized does not automatically equate to not wanting fascism, because people tend to want fascist leaders they agree with instead of democracy and coalition building. People can also think that certain people are exaggerating the horrors of colonialism, because it doesnât happen to good people, and look, they accept their friends who are good people, so theyâre fine.Â
A dominant fascist group can absolutely use this to their advantage in order to gain more foot soldiers, which then increases their raw numbers, which puts them in enough power they can stop caring about opening their ranks, and only then do they turn on their âdeviantâ members. By the time they turn, itâs usually too late, and thereâs often a lot of feelings of betrayal because the spokesperson (and those who liked them) thought they were accepted, instead of just used.
You said it yourself that this colonial government is even stricter than the historical equivalentâwhich could mean it needs some sort of leverage to maintain its popularity. âAllowingâ gay people to be some variation of themselves would be an ideal solution to this, but it would come with a bunch of conditions. What those conditions are I couldnât tell youâthatâs for your own imagination, based off what this groupâs ideal is, but some suggestions are âfollow the traditional dating/friendship normsâ, âhave their own gender identity slightly to the left of the cis idealâ, and/or âpretend to never actually be dating but everyone knows and pretends to not care so long as they donât out themselvesââthat would signal to the reader that this is deeply conditional and about to all come apart.Â
It would, however, mean your poor boy is less likely to get a break, because he would be policed to be the âacceptable kind of gayâ that the colonial government is currently tolerating (not unlike the way the States claims to support white cis same-sex couples in the suburbs but not bipoc queer-trans people in polycules). It also provides a more salient angle for this colonial government to come crashing down, if thatâs the way this narrative goes.
Colonial governments are often looking for scapegoats; if gay people arenât the current one, then theyâd be offered a lot more freedom just to improve the public image of those in power. You have the opportunity to have the strikers be the current scapegoats, which would take the heat off many other groupsâincluding those hit by homophobia.
In Conclusion
Personally, Iâd take a more âgays for Trumpâ attitude about the colonialism and their apparent âlackâ of homophobiaâtheyâre just trying to regain popularity after mishandling a major scandal, and the gay people will be on the outs soon enough.
You could also take the more nuanced approach and see how imperialism shaped modern gay rights and just fast-track that in your time period, to give it the right flavour of imperialism. A lot of BIPOC lgbtqa+ people will tell you the modern gay rights movement is assimilationalist, colonialist, and other flavours of ick, so that angle is viable.
You can also make something that looks more accepting to the modern eye by leaning heavily on romantic friendships that encouraged people waxing poetic for their âbest friendsâ, keeping the âloversâ part deeply on the down low, but is still restrictive and people just donât talk about it in public unless itâs in euphemisms or among other same-sex-attracted people because thereâs nothing wrong with loving your best friend, you just canât go off and claim youâre a couple like a heterosexual couple is.
Either way, youâre not sanitizing colonialism inherently by having there be less modern-recognized homophobia in this deeply authoritarian setting. You just need to add some guard rails on it so that, sure, your character might be fine if he behaves, but there are still âdeviantsâ that the government will not accept.Â
Because thatâs, in the end, one of the core tenants that makes a government colonial: its acceptance of groups is frequently based on how closely you follow the rules and police others for not following them, and anyone who isnât their ideal person will be on the outs eventually. But that doesnât mean they canât have a facade of pretending those rules are totally going to include people who are to the left of those ideals, if those people fit in every other ideal, or youâre safe only if you keep it quiet.
~ Leigh
#colonialism#colonization#worldbuilding#alternate history#history#lgbt#china#hong kong#british empire#ask
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noise complaints (part 2)
A/N: Fine you gay people win. Hereâs part two⌠sorry if itâs horrible, I am NOT a writer and I did NOT spellcheck this. Also I now realize she was technically going by Agnes at the time bc she was still under the spell when she was in her cop era⌠too lazy late to fix it â¤ď¸
Summary: After Agatha finds you and Rio outside of the party she busted surrounded by two guys from your high school, she feels she has a few lessons to teach you two. (Reading part one is highly suggested!)
Warnings: smut, strap-on use, degradation and praise, vouyerism, impact play, fingering, oral, punishment, mean!Agatha, gunplay if you squint and spin three times, orgasm denial, bondage, masturbation, Rio being too bratty for her own good, use of âY/Nâ, I donât know if I can be more specific than this, itâs filth!
Pairing: Older!Cop!Dom!Agatha x Younger!Sub!R x Brat!Sub!Rio
NSFW below the cut MDNI!
After the cruel scolding that was sure to be only the beginning of the harsh words you and Rio would face that night, Agatha drags the two of you back to her patrol car by your wrists. You stumbled over your feet, trying your hardest to keep up with your furious girlfriend; Meanwhile Rio dragged her feet along reluctantly, trying desperately to keep up her careless, tough exterior and get a rise out of the cop.
Rio is thrown into the passenger side of the car, her hair nearly caught in the door as Agatha slams it, leading you towards the back door.
âAt least one of my sluts is eager to please⌠Keep it up and maybe you can get what you want tonight.â She shouts the last part, addressing you, but directing the comment towards your brattier counterpart, who was now fidgeting in the front seat.
Agatha gets in the car, starting it up and taking off on the short ride back to your shared home. Rioâs placement in the front of the car was meant to keep her in check, keep her in Agathaâs direct line of vision and in close reach for reprimand. Rio had different ideas of how to use her forced proximity.
Your older girlfriendâs breathing had just reached some sort of equilibrium, no longer audibly seething through her breaths alone, when Rio reached over the console and slid her hand into Agathaâs lap. Much to your horror, Agatha just laughs.
âYou have no idea what youâre getting yourself into, doll. You have five seconds to take your hand and keep it to yourself before I decide youâll be sleeping in the guest room for the next week.â Rio, of course, waits until the very end of those five seconds before dragging her hand back across Agathaâs lap, making sure to brush her covered core ever-so-slightly before bringing it back to her side of the console to pout. You shudder under the reflection of Agathaâs hooded gaze in the rear view mirror as she grinds her teeth down against each other in a fiery frustration.
The silence and tension grows more and more palpable as the drive comes to an end when Agatha throws the cruiser into park at the top of your driveway, right next to Rioâs precious bike. She wasnât exactly being careful to swerve away from it.
Before you could even think of reaching for your door handle, it was thrown open and you and Rio were being forced into the home. You were at the front, being pushed into the house by Agathaâs right hand, which was tangled in your hair and gripping it into a ponytail. Rio was being dragged in the back by Agathaâs tight grip on her ear. If you didnât know better, youâd be giggling at the way the slightly taller girl resembled a misbehaving child being scolded by her upset mother. If Rio knew better, she wouldnât have acted like a misbehaving child.
It was clearly too late for this when Agatha practically tossed you two into the house, all in the same manner as youâd seen her do with her bags after a long day at work. She ran her tongue between her top teeth and her top lip as she looked you and your girlfriend up and down, almost as if deciding between a library of options for how to deal with the two of you.
âBoth of you, go to my room now and be ready for me in the next minute⌠Y/N, pick something pretty out from my drawer, would you, hun?â With that, she had decided.
As you and Rio made your way into your bedroom and Rio made her way to the edge of the bed, you slid the drawer open and instinctively grabbed your favorite from the assortment, a small and quiet but powerful bullet that Agatha could control from her phone. You were hoping sheâd use it on you again, but there was no point in asking once she walked in, because it would almost surely earn you the exact opposite.
She walks in to find you sitting on your heels at the same spot at the edge of the bed where Rio sat, manspreading and fidgeting with the seam on her shirt. She takes the small purple toy from your hands and kisses the top of your head, a chillingly gentle gesture in contrast with her bubbling anger that night. Her hand slips from the side of your jaw to the underside of your chin, tilting your head up just a bit so that you were looking up and meeting her eyes with your own. âSuch a good choice, sweet girl.â
She then turns to Rio, who hasnât yet given up her false tough demeanor. âKiss her. How you were before I walked in early tonight. Pretend Iâm not even here, and God help you if you hold back even the slightest bit.â With that, she sat down in the large armchair directly in the eye line from where you sat.
Rio smiles slyly and slides her hands into the back of your head, tangling her digits in your hair as she meets your lips with her own. Your own hands, shaking, find her hips as she deepens the kiss and straddles you as youâre still sitting on your knees with rigid posture that reflects your nervousness outwardly. When you finally melt into her touch the slightest bit, losing yourself in her confident dominance, you hear Agatha stand and are suddenly enveloped in her shadow as Rio is yanking away from you.
Or rather, being yanked away. You note Agathaâs grip around Rioâs waves as she speaks in an even more gravely voice than usual, âThat was your final chance to prove yourself as something more than a greedy bitch. Get in the chair.â
She swallows, devoid of any of the dominance from seconds prior, and climbs into the chair Agatha had just risen from. The latter takes Rioâs seat next to you, but lifts you onto her lap with your right leg slotted between her own, your center falling onto the top of her right thigh. Once you could see clearly again as the rush of her rough fingers around your waist simmered the smallest bit, you realized you were sitting on something⌠hard? and let out an involuntary whisper.
Agatha looks down at where your legs meet and then back at you, grinning like the devil, as Rio writhes in her seat. Agatha immediately clocks the movement from over your shoulder. âIf you ever want me to make you come again, youâll sit still and enjoy the show Iâm so generously giving you after your disgusting displays tonight.â Rio reluctantly complies. She returns her attention to you, now digging her fingers into your hips with bruising force, and guides you ever-so-slightly back and forth against the pressure below you. âAgatha?â you breathe out.
âYeah, angel?â The title almost makes you forget what was supposed to follow your initial words. The hardness below you reminds you quickly. âAre you⌠did you wear the strap to work?â you nearly whisper, the question barely audible to your other girlfriend, who sat still now and held onto every word from you and the woman below you uttered. âNo, baby, try again.â
It seems as if all the blood in your body rushes to your face as you realize that what you were grinding down onto wasnât the strap youâd been mercilessly filled with time after time, but her patrol weapon. It was mind-blowingly filthy and embarrassing to you, which brought both Agatha and Rio more pleasure than any other act the three of you had carried out together could. âKeep moving those pretty hips, hun. Donât shy away from being a slut now, itâs a little too late for that.â You bit your lip hard enough to taste the same metallic tang from before you left the same room earlier that night as you hid your blushing face in the crook of the copâs neck.
âHey, come back, angel, Iâve got a question for you.â You look up reluctantly, dreading the eye contact you knew she would demand as you spoke. âYes maâam.â She chuckled lowly at this, âOh, what, now you wanna be good for me? Nice try. What I was wonderingâŚ. was if you think our greedy girl over there should get to join us.â You look over your shoulder at the desperate woman, your eyes glossing over at the sight of her thighs pressed together so tightly they could surely suffocate you if your head found its way between them as it so often did. You turn back to Agatha and offer only a nod, not trusting your breath to stay loyal to you.
Agatha curled a finger, beckoning your girlfriend over and watching as she scrambled to the bed. âNow, Y/N, do you think I should use thisâ she held up the toy youâd previously picked out from her collection âon Rio here? Think itâd be fun to see her crumble under the stimulation and forget all about her little stone-cold act?â You nodded quicker than you knew possible. âNo, I need words.â You swallow and breathe in shakily, hips still moving on their own accord. âYes. Please, wanna see.â She just smiles and lifts you off of her leg as she readies her attention on the other girl.
âI think she has to earn it.â
Ok guys this was like⌠part 1.5, the first half of part 2 of the OG post. The rest of the warnings will apply to the next part if they werenât in this one, and Iâm hoping to have that one out like the middle of next week! LMK what yall wanna see in the next part beside what I have planned :)
Also for those who wanted to be tagged: @sunshine-makes-flowers-grow @wandaslittlelove @babybeeelle @believe-in-magic13 @reeselov3salexvause @ahintofchaos @girlwithissuesworld @lovelyy-moonlight @teenybean @jorddddddddd
#wlw#agathario#kathrynhahn#agatha harkness x reader#agathario x reader#aubrey plaza x reader#agatha harkness x rio vidal x reader
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and now it's time to play WOULD GRAVITY FALLS CHARACTERS RESPECT YOUR PRONOUNS (pre-weirdmageddon) (non gravity falls fans take this as a sign.)
DIPPER PINES - not sure he'd understand the concept immediately, but would catch on quick because he understands what it's like not being called something you want to be called
MABEL PINES - YES. no question about it. there's so many things i could say here. she'd correct herself for THINKING the wrong pronouns.
STANLEY PINES - understands and correctly genders you for all the wrong, crime-related reasons! bro is the king of preferred names. you say "hey i'm actually exam/ple" and he'll be like "AH. I GET IT. WINK. DO YOU ALSO WANT TO BE NOTIFIED WHEN THE COPS ARE IN TOWN" like i cant overstate this. if you say hey i want to change my identity he will pull out a stack of fake IDs and have you pick one. he's a little confused but he got the spirit!
STANFORD PINES - if you ever need a guy to not grasp a modern-day concept, call this guy! he'd do his best, but only because he wants to be nice. he does Not understand. give him a little bit of systematic exposure and he'll get it! he will take a scientific approach! but he'll get it! somebody get this man 2024ccs of woke liberalism stat
SOOS RAMIREZ - calls you dude and bro. does not call you anything but dude and bro. he knows what you are and he respects that! but let's be real honest here.
WENDY CORDUROY - incredibly supportive and super chill. if you were still in the closet, she'd do the mouth zip motion thing. you get it. she's so awesome about you
WADDLES - oink?
GIDEON GLEEFUL - yes to your face! no behind closed doors. he'd probably call you "that queer" while villain monologuing in his room . i can hear it in his voice
BUD GLEEFUL - THE gravity falls homophobic youth pastor let's be for real he'd say "it's not too late to turn to God" as a christian trans person i'm pretty sure God thinks about lgbtq+ kids and fraudulent capitalists on two separate ends of a very long line
SHERIFF BLUBS & DEPUTY DURLAND - do i even have to say it. i'm gonna say it. solid top and DEAD SERIOUS bottom. they ARE the loud and proud gravity falls lgbtq+ community. if they're transphobic i'll eat my socks.
CANDY CHIU - i know what you guys are thinking . "oh candy's so sweet of course she'd respect your pronouns!" CANDY MOTHERFUCKING CHIU WILL NOT ONLY RESPECT YOUR PRONOUNS, BUT SHE WILL GO OUT OF HER WAY TO USE THEM AT ANY POSSIBLE MOMENT. if she sees somewhere to say your pronouns, she will DO it. because she LOVES YOU. and also she'd fight anyone who gets it wrong!
GRENDA GRENDINATOR - trans. she loves you. will help candy fight anybody who gets your pronouns wrong.
FIDDLEFORD MCGUCKET - honestly this is a hard one. he could ACKNOWLEDGE! your pronouns! but other than that i'm not sure. pre-memory wipe, i think he'd feel a little weird about it, but it would become nothing to him eventually
PACIFICA NORTHWEST - "ew. what the fuck." and then suddenly she's asking you how you figured that out. For No Reason
ROBBIE VALENTINO - calls you a faggot. is it because he is homophobic? because he is one? because he hates you specifically? the world will never know
BLENDIN BLANDIN - he lives in the year 207Ě012. i find it hard to believe they haven't made respecting pronouns mandatory yet.
AGENTS POWERS & TRIGGER - are the pronouns on your legal documents????? it's not funny stop laughign
TYLER CUTEBIKER - gay. his pronouns are get/it. he will respect you (in his own ways)
LAZY SUSAN - forgets you had the wrong pronouns in the first place. she respects you by default
TIME BABY - does not refer to you
BILL CIPHER - he would call you your preferred pronouns but DON'T get it twisted. he does not respect you as a living thing. it isn't bigoted (that would be ironic considering that whole sixer thing) he just doesn't. maybe he'd make HEAVY fun of you for good measure but he's got to dig at somebody somehow. also were pronouns even real in his dimension anything could happen man ????
SHMEBULOCK - shmebulock
(did i forget anybody? let me know)
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Elle Greenway x F!reader and Elle was too scared to ask her out bc she didnât know what way readers swung and then reader makes a comment about being like gay or something or smnth about woman. idk how to phrase that. and Elle finally is like omg and asks her out. Lmk.
(You) On My Arm â Elle Greenaway.
Pairing: Elle Greenaway x Fem!Reader
Summary: She isnât entirely sure if youâre into girls in that way, but when a particular question prompts you to reveal your orientation, she feels a subtle yet undeniable pang of satisfaction. She decides then to seize her moment.
Word Count: 580+
Disclaimer/s â Small mention of murder (đ), Derek and his nicknames, no use of Y/N, the dinner being Season One, Episode Seventeen! :3
A/N: I LOVED THIS REQUEST BAAAAAADâŚ
Fiddling with the chopsticks in your hand, you continued to zone out while your team delved into discussions about other cases, the current case you were working on, and wellâ
âSo, Elle,â the BAU unit chief inquired with a light, playful tone, âAre you seeing anyone?â
The girl in question let out a nervous laugh, her eyes inadvertently flickering towards you. Upon realizing that you hadnât noticed, she allowed her shoulders to slump in visible relief.
Derek let out a dramatic sigh from beside you, shaking his head. âWe already know what sheâll say. What about you? We donât know much about you yet. Enlighten us,â he remarked, gently nudging you with his arm, ultimately snapping you out of your thoughts.
Clearing your throat, you said, âHm, what?â
âTell us about yourself,â he repeated. âTalk about your love lifeâget interesting with it.â
âGet interesting with it?â You echoed with a laugh, setting your chopsticks down onto your plate. You hummed, pondering where to begin. âHuh, Iâm not really sure. I didnât date much as a teenager, and that hasnât really changed now.â
The Morgan man frowned, âSo, nobody? Ever?â
You clicked your tongue. âHey, I didnât say that, now did I?â
âOh, okay, player. Let us have it.â
âI once had a boyfriend, and that relationship lasted about four months,â you began, leaning back in your seat with a sigh. âIt didnât really work outâhe was gross and, well, just gross. I did have a girlfriend for about a year and a half.â
Elleâs eyebrows shot up in surprise at that. A girlfriend? For a whole year and a half?
âA year and a half?â She responded, doing her absolute best to keep her voice from sounding overly ecstatic. âWhat happened?â
Meeting her gaze, you felt your face flush as you shrugged, âWe were on different wavelengths.â
Different wavelengths. Right, got it.
The conversation wandered through countless topics after that, so when you got up to use the restroom, no one paid you much mind. However, as soon as you stepped out, you nearly collided with Elle, who swiftly placed her hands on both your elbows, apologizing profusely.
Though, you only focused on one thing.
Her hands on you.
âItâs fine,â you assure her, stepping aside to give her room to enter. But when she remains rooted to her spot, you furrow your eyebrows and softly spoke, âElle, are you okay?â
âWill you go out with me?â She blurted out, her tone unwavering and her head tilted in a way that quite literally left you breathless.
All you could do was stand there, because had she really asked what she just asked?
You had almost forgotten that you were standing in front of a literal bathroom. Not exactly your ideal scenery, but you understood the reason as to why. âLikeâa date?â You asked, feeling a bit stupid. What else could it be? Of course, a date.
âYes,â she replied rather quickly, âA date.â
A date with her. Nodding your head, you let a smile form on your face as you bit your lip before replying, âYes, Iâd love to.â
Just as you were about to relish in the moment of going out with her, Spencer suddenly peeked his head around the corner, startling the both of you. âHey, guys. Oh, sorryâwe, uh, we just got called in. He killed a cop-killer. Câmon.â
âOkay,â you both replied in unison, exchanging another smile before walking out, side by side.
Likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated ^_^.
DT(s) â @pedrilcvr ! ๨ৠ(thank you for helping! đŤŚ)
#elle greenaway#elle greenaway x reader#elle greenaway x fem!reader#elle greenaway fluff#elle greenaway x you#elle greenaway x y/n#elle greenaway imagine#elle greenaway oneshot#elle greenaway blurb#criminal minds elle greenaway#criminal minds#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds comfort#criminal minds x you#criminal minds x reader#lgbtq#wlw#jilval#(you) on my arm - leith ross
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