#YOU CANT HANDLE A SINGLE CONVERSATION? BECAUSE I KNOW YOU HAVENT DONE OR SAID SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING OTHERWISE

[emulation-0]

like i was speaking to my friend the other day cuz i thought this was a safe space or whatever to be angry about genocide??? and i was talking about how democrats are the same as republicans with just pride flags slapped on and she was like 'oh but obama was good' and i was like 'he was a war criminal 😐 he bombed the middle east for dumb fucking reasons and nobody accounted him for it' and she was like 'but i like him' and i just. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. and then she awkwardly laughed with her friend and was like 'haha this is so uncomfortable lets talk about something else' and shes my friend but KILL YOURSELF

i actually cant stand people who dont know politics or watch the news because its "too much" or its "too complicated to keep track of" like actually kill yourself no one is asking you to glue your eyes to the news 24/7 but what good can you think possibly comes from not knowing what the fuck is going on around you and what your actions are doing. and these people are always the ones who are annoyingly centrist or "my politics are based on my moral compass" KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF.

[fanficsandmoregalore]

Making or Breaking Bonds?

Matt Solo x Reader

A/N: I had this angsty idea and thought I'd share it with you guys. There you can change the name of the girl and the movie to whatever but the ones in the story are just what came to mind.

Summary: Matt introduces reader to his new friend and it goes horribly wrong. Things are said and reader stops hanging out with matt until he is able to win the reader back over.

It was just like any other day. You were hanging out with 2 of the 3 Solo Triplets in their apartment, across the hall from yours. You were sandwiched between Kylo and Ben on the couch, watching some horribly written horror movie and laughing about all the cheesy acting.

"By the way, where is Matt?"

You asked both boys and Ben shrugged his shoulders but Kylo was a bit more informative.

"He said something about bringing over a new friend he made at work."

"Oh, okay."

And back to the movie it was. Some time passed and the movie was over. You all laughed and talked about how bad it was as Ben put in another movie, equally as cheesy and terrible. That's when there was a sound at the door, someone putting keys in and turning the doorknob. It was Matt. You jumped to your feet and went over to hug him but stopped dead in your tracks.

Kylo and Ben went over to greet the stranger, you, however, were in a bit of shock. She was absolutely beautiful, long flowing dark brown hair, skin that was tanned just right, she was thin and had a big chest, and to top it off was dressed in a business suit and just the right style of makeup. She was way prettier than you ever thought you would be and that frightened you. You mustered up the nerve to go over and greet her as well.

"Uuuh, guys. This is my new friend from work, Allison."

"Ummm, hi. I'm -"

"(Y/n). Yes, i know. Matt won't stop raving about you." Allison spoke confidently and that made you even more nervous, she shook your hand loosely then wiped it off on her pants as she brushed by you.

"What a quaint little living space, Matt." She inspected every nook and cranny it seemed like, Matt just followed her around and talked to her.

"Alright, what's the assessment?" Kylo came up from behind you and whispered in your ear. You turned around, Ben and Kylo were waiting for your input on the situation.

"What do you mean?"

"He means, what do you think of her. We dont know shit about her and we already thinks she's kinda a snob."

"I cant really say anything just ye-"

Suddenly there was a loud crash and the sound of glass shattering. You all looked over to see Allison over by a shelf, looking at the ground then to you and the other boys.

"Oops." She said trying to act cute, then she proceeded to walk on top of the glass, crushing it more beneath her feet. You, Ben, and Kylo walked over to see what she had stepped on and you stared in anger at the item that had fallen. It was a picture of you with all 3 of the Solo boys, sleeping together on a couch at their parents' house on Christmas morning. That was the most treasured picture amongst the 4 of you and both you and the boys had a copy of it framed. You began to suspect she knocked it over on purpose, but didn't want to assume the worst, hoping it was an accident.

"That's it, i hate her." Ben said as he picked the picture up from under the glass.

"You can't just hate her. What if it was an accident?" You tried to defend your fellow woman, seeing as to hoe you didn't know if she was the kind of woman to do such a thing.

"Oh yeah, and she just casually walks on top of broken glass with a smirk if it's an accident. If you had done this when we first met you, you would have offered to clean it and replace it immediately." Kylo added and he swept the glass into a pile.

"No, (Y/n) wouldn't even be close enough to it to knock it over in the first place."

Ben chuckled, Kylo then added in,

"Good point. I'm with Ben, i hate her."

It did look as if she had done it on purpose but you couldn't hust assume that. Why would she do something so mean to people she doesn't know. It as if she was trying to display her superiority in a home that she had no title in yet. This really got you a little mad and as you were about to say something, Matt came from the hall with Allison.

"Alright guys, see you later." Matt chirped. You ran over and gently grabbed his arm.

"Matt, where are you going? You just got here and i havent seen you all day." You almost whined. Matt smiled and kissed your forehead.

"Me and Allison are gonna go see a movie. We can hang out after i get back."

And with that Matt left.

You stood still in place for what seemed like forever, staring at the door. Did he really just leave so casually? No goodbye, just a quick kiss on the forehead. He didnt ask if you and his brothers wanted to join. Just him and this new woman all alone. Your mind felt like a plane that was crashing, and you were the only one on board. Suddenly Ben grabbed your shoulder and brought you back to reality.

"(Y/n), did you hear me? I asked if everything is okay?"

You turned to him and hugged him, no emotion showing him how you felt, no words telling him what was going through your mind. But somehow, he knew all of this was troubling to you. He hugged you tightly and then led you to the couch, Kylo joined a moment later. The boys sat with you and you all watched several movies together. While the boys laughed and talked, you sat on the couch and thought about Matt.

It was late at night and you decided to go home. As you opened the door, there stood Matt, about to place the keys in. You looked at him then looked around outside quickly. He was alone, thank goodness. You decided to stay and chat with Matt for a moment. He stood in the living room, you sat on the arm of a chair across from him, and the other 2 boys sat on the couch.

"How was your date?" Ben asked jokingly.

"It wasn't a date, we just had dinner as friends and watched Princess Bride 2 as friends. Then i dropped her off at ho-"

"WAIT!" You stood up and looked at Matt, hoping you misheard him.

"You took her to see Princess Bride 2!? Matt, what the hell?! I asked you if you wanted to go with me to see that weeks ago, and you told me you no because you didn't really care for Princess Bride."

"I don't but Allison really wanted to see it."

"I REALLY WANTED TO SEE IT, MATT!!!"

Your yell could've shook their apartment. You were so mad, you just let it all out.

"Well, don't get mad at me for that, Allison wanted to go see it, not me. Besides, we can still go see it."

"Matt, are you kidding me, right now? I wanted to go see that with you, on a date! I wanted us to have a nice evening together, like, oh i don't know, a nice dinner out, then go see a that movie, TOGETHER! But you told me no, so i didn't go see it at all. I was just gonna wait until it came out on dvd or netflix to watch it. You literally took that...that..that STRANGER out on my date idea!"

Kylo quickly got up and stood by you, seeing the look of rage in your eyes.

"Um, (Y/n), why didn't you just tell me and Ben that you wanted to go on a date with Matt? We would've set you guys up."

This was the first time you had mentioned this date to the boys at all. You had kept it a secret to yourself because after Matt said no, it seemed pointless to try and make him go if he didn't want to. And if you had told the other 2, they would've guilted Matt or forced him somehow to go with you and that wasn't what you wanted. You wanted Matt to go on his own free will.

"I didn't tell you guys because i didn't want you to tell him that's what it was and then him go with me to a movie he would probably hate just because that's what i wanted."

"Um, actually, the movie was pretty good. I'm thinking about rewatching the firs-"

You and Kylo both glared at Matt, he shut up quickly. You faced Matt, feeling all sorts of emotions bubbling inside, emotions you didn't like.

"Matt, are you really that oblivious that you didn't realize i was asking you on a date?"

Matt scratched the back of his head and chose his next words carefully.

"Um....actually..." he started. You took a few steps back, realizing what he was about to say.

"Y-you knew!?" You angrily whispered. Ben got up and punched Matt in the arm.

"What the fuck, Matt!?" He yelled. Kylo aslo began yelling at Matt and it all faded as you thought about what had just happened. Matt, this entire time, knew that you wanted it to be a date and still told you no. You had not right to be mad at him for it, he wasn't your boyfriend, but it still hurt you deeply. You took a deep breath, pushed Kylo and Ben away from Matt and looked him in the eyes.

"Matt, do you like me, romantically?" You tried to ask gently. Matt hugged you and spoke.

"(Y/n), you know i do."

You were so confused. This was all a big mess. You couldn't handle it and pushed Matt off of you. You had tears streaming down your face and were filled with a mix of sadness and anger.

"Then why did you take her and not me? I wanted to go see it too, Matt. And you knew that. Am i...not good enough or something? I'm so confused."

Matt felt flustered and a bit irritated at himself for making you upset. He didn't think about what he was saying and blurted out something he'd regret.

"It was just nice to have someone i could have an intellectual conversation with for once."

Matt pauses, realizing what he had just said. He quickly tried to apologize but you glared straight into his eyes, feeling the anger rise inside you immediately, a single tear slid down your cheek and you pushed pass him and out the door, not saying another word. Matt didn't bother following you, knowing it would only make things worse.

"Shit." Kylo said, then him and Ben quickly ran after you and Matt stood by the door to listen in.

Ben knocked on the door and all him and Kylo could hear was sobbing.

"(Y/n)? Baby? If you want to, me and Ky will take you to see it."

There was only silence for a moment. Matt's stomach turned inside him as the guilt began eating at his conscience.

"Babe?" Kylo tapped on the door. This time it opened a little. They couldn't see you and you didn't want them to.

"I dont even want to see it now. Just leave me alone, please." With that, you closed the door. Matt ran his hands through his hair. What had he done? Kylo and Ben looked at each other, nodded and went back over to their apartment.

They didn't even speak to Matt as they walked pass him. And he knew they saw him when they walked in.

"Guys? Is she going to be okay?"

Kylo yelled angrily and went into his room, slamming the door behind him. Ben was about to walk to his but turned, look at Matt with disappointment and shook his head.

"You really messed up this time, Matt." Was all he said and then he went into his room. Matt was left in the living room, feeling the worst he's ever felt. He tried texting you, calling you, writing letters to you, but they always found their way back into his apartment. You were ignoring him in all ways you could. Several weeks had gone by and there was still no word from you.

"It was just a movie, is this silent treatment really necessary?"

One evening, Matt was sitting on the couch watching a movie, he thought he was alone but Kylo was in the kitchen.

There was a plastic cup thrown at the back of Matt's head. He turned and saw his brother in the kitchen.

"It isn't about the movie, you dope. She wanted to be with you, you said no to her but did it anyway with another woman. You broke her damn heart, you moron! Take your silent treatment and like it! You're lucky she's such a fucking sweetheart, she'll probably forgive you soon if you just leave her the hell alone."

Kylo grumbled and went back to his room. Matt thought about what kylo had said. He was right, it wasn't the worst way to be treated after you hurt a girl, but he definitely didnt enjoy it. He also thought about what he had done. He knew you wanted to go on a date with him, he knew you really wanted to go see that movie, and he knew how he felt about you. So why would he have said no to you, and instead took some stranger he accidentally bumped into at work? He groaned in disappointment at himself. He felt so worthless, he thought he didn't deserve you, and that's even before the mess he was in now. You are a godess in his eyes and he just blew any shot he had of being with you. One morning he saw you leaving your apartment and tried to say hi but you didnt even look at him, only the floor, with saddened eyes. He had done this and he knew that he had to fix this.

"Ben, Kylo, please. I need your help." He pleaded from the hall. There was no answer. He ran his hands through his hair.

"I really do like (Y/n), more than anything in the world, i know that i dont deserve her and maybe that's why i said no, but i have to fix our friendship at least. God, and i even haven't talked to or seen Allison since that night. She hated the movie, she hated dinner, and me. She was just...she wasn't (Y/n). I don't know what i was thinking. And i know this is all my fault, but i don't know how i can fix it. I just want to show her how much i love..." Matt paused. Up until now, he only thought about how much he liked you. How much he liked being around you, and how he liked everything about, and that he liked how beautiful you were when you smiled. But no, he didn't just like that stuff about you, he LOVED that stuff about you. Matt sprang to his feet, his hand over his chest feeling his quickened heartbeat.

"I...i love her. I love (Y/n)." Matt looked around, trying to figure out what to do. "Oh god, what have i done?! I have to fix this!" He quickly rushed to the door and practically ripped it open, you were already on the other side. You looked at Matt, a phone in your hands, tears rolling down from your eyes. Matt looked behind him and saw his brothers, Ben was holding a phone that had you on the line, he had a smirk on his face. Matt turned back to you and felt just an overwhelming sense of panic.

"D-did you...um, hear all of that?"

"Every last word."

You hugged him and at first Matt was surprised but he was quick to return and tighten the hug. He never wanted to let you go ever again. He was worried if he let go, you'd leave again and never speak to him for the rest of his life.

"Matt," you whispered. He pulled away and looked at you, "i love you."

"(Y/n), I'm so sorry!" He pulled you close again then pulled back and kissed you. It caught you off guard at first but you accepted it. He pulled away and looked you in the eyes.

"I will do anything i have to, ANYTHING, to make it up to you."

You giggled and kissed his cheek.

"Well, could you get out of the way, me and your brothers are gonna miss a movie."

Matt pulled back and looked at you in confusion.

"What?"

"We're going to go out for dinner and then see a movie, as friends." Ben said cheerfully as he walked by Matt. He held his hand out for you and you took it then walked away from the door. Kylo followed behind and was about to close the door but looked at Matt before doing so.

"Or not." He winked at Matt and closed the door behind him. Matt stood alone in the apartment.

"I deserved that." He said with a smile.

[missbbjean]

Dear You

You said you liked me, you would constantly say it at the most random of times or that you missed me a girl you have never meant before and how could you possible miss me? but then you explained that you missed hearing my voice, it was relaxing to hear and being able to talk to someone tell them about your day and what bothered you and having that someone not reinsure you of anything but just be there to listen with no judgment. I felt so happy like an idiot for being able to hear that and for being that person for you to talk to but you were also that person for me. For 2 years we talked one year over the comment section of each others pictures on IG and here and there over the DMs of IG then in early 2016 we talked almost everyday over the DMs on IG  and then in late February you gave me your number we talked from then on texting and calling. Somewhere around March you already said you wanted to meet but i told you how impossible that was giving the distance between us but in December last year you brought up buying my plane ticket i told you how bad id feel about that because i know it wouldnt be cheap, you didnt bring it up again after that till sometime of this year in February and i wanted to meet you so bad that i agreed to it. So we planed for March but as time got closer for me to go to where you are there was still no message about a plane ticket i grew worried and upset and you never answered my calls or texts. It was the day i was supposed to go down there and nothing nothing from you i cried to my mom for hours so upset, 23 day pass its april now and i get a DM from you over IG like you couldnt really text or call you had to DM over IG like wtf but we talked about it and i shouldve brought up my concerns and what bothered me but i didnt because i didn want to fight i didnt want to argue and like you said "its not like we're together so who am i to say whats you can and cant do" you said you liked me and that you wouldnt mind pursuing more but not with out some sort of proof that i was interested in just you and not multiple people, my proof was facing my biggest fear just for you but i guess that wasn’t proof enough and everything before or after wasn’t either. you then said "again were not together but i dont think youre that interested in me if youre openly giving everyone the same attention " but we talked some more and we had things figures out but i shouldve brought up the fact that you were doing the same giving the same open attention to many other girls, i on the other was not giving that attention like you said i was it was just some 19yr old that left comments on my pictures and my only responses back were ever " thank you, lol, okay or hahah" but yours on girls pictures were stupid kissy heart eye emojis and comments like "damn girl look at you, so beautiful, so pretty, hot" and the list goes on but i bit my tongue because like you said we weren't together and i didnt want to seem i dont know possessive, i know now i shouldve spoke up. but you called the next day asking if we could start where we left off of and i asked with us talking or me coming down there and you said with me coming down there and that same night you bought the plane ticket and everything, there really was no going back and i was so excited that i couldnt sleep at all. I thought finally im going to meet this guy whos been nothing but nice and sweet to me, who ive had nothing but great conversations with where i could just be 100% me. but throughout all of april you still continued with commenting things on other girls pictures again i didnt want to start a fight before i came down there and i had planed to say something well i was there but i didnt want to start something because well id have no wheres to go and lord knows i have anger issues. We spend 4 days together i became sure that yeah i really like this person and maybe even love a little. but when i came home everything fell apart. 2 days go bye and i dont hear from you not even a single text but yet you're on social media multiple times throughout the day and commenting dumb shit AGAIN on girls pictures. we talk on saturday and i bring it up finally and you ask why it was an issue with the 19 yr old commenting what he did on my pictures and you said well its obvious and i said no tell me and you asked why and i said tell me why it was an issue and you said well because I LIKE YOU. so i said if you like me so much why are you commenting dumb shit on girls pictures over IG and you asked "who like you really dont know and i dont remember usernames and your excuse was "well the reason i was asking who is because its probably a client"and i asked "really come on now" and you continue with "well its my job their my client its my job to make them feel pretty or beautiful"like yeah thats youre job when their in you chair not for you to do over social media and like really is it normal for you to comment on your clients half naked pictures?? come on now get real. we end the conversation that night with you saying that wed talk about it more but we never did. sunday goes bye and monday comes around i didnt hear from you  but sometime during the day you unfollow me and i get confused more than ever. here you are or were telling me you like me and everything fly me down there to meet you spend that time together and for what what reason, what was the point! days go by i dont hear from you Thursday I tell you we need to talk something serious and you tried to make me feel stupid for it but you never called and you ignored my call we dont talk till Friday when i see you liking a whole bunch of these girls pictures on IG and i mean pictures from early 2016 and late 2015 like duuuude really and then i see theres a recent post from her and just so happened that in the video shes spinning around in a chair and i notice the background, its your room and then you walked in. I call you that night pissed off and you start off with a "hey!" like every things fine and dandy and continue to say "yeah sorry i havent talked to you in a while theres been a lot going on with work i ve been really busy and i could even lose my job" and i was like "oh so busy that yet you had time to be home during the day with a girl in your room" and again you go "well who" like as if you dont know just how many girls have you had over in your room since damn man. so i tell you the usuername because well this time i remembered it and you go "well let me look that up right now" like ohhhhhh COME ON! you know exactly who stop playing dumb and then you say "well we have mutual friends in common" i told you ones that havent ment her in person dont count and so you say "well my parents were home nothing happened" i told you i was there and your parents were home and shit happened so dont give me that and then its :well if it bothers you so much ill stop talking to her" i told you im not the kind of person who tells you who you can and can not talk to but it should be common sense of what your doing is going to bother me or piss me off because here you are or were telling me you like me and everything had me come down there and you sleep with me and all that and yet here you are doing this like really?!?! you say we'll talk about it but again we dont and im just left with more questions and im more upset and you clearly knew that you just didnt and dont care. Sunday i call and call and call because we have something to discuss we talk about it as much as we can and theres nothing that can be done about it that was clearly established. So again i bring up the other issues hoping to get those cleared up more and i ask what was the point of all this and where do i stand now but all you have to say is "well i just got home and i need to go inside ill talk to you more about this" an all i can say is "and then this happens, do you really get everything i just said do you understand" you said yes and i asked really because it seems like it just went right over your head and you said it didnt that we would talk about it. but guess what we never did and i never heard from you again. its been 2 months now since you ruined me and turned my world upside down. and im now wondering just how many other girls have you done this to, how sincere were you with all you said tome, did you even really like me or was i nothing more than a 4 day fuck?..you used me. and yet i cant forget any of it, i wish i could be like you and just forget it all and forget a person like they dont exist as if it never happened. but i cant and it hurts so much to know that i cant erase you from me or my memory and i just want to go back and never agree to it to meeting you not if i knew id end up hurt again after so many years of keeping myself shut up from the world of dating or feelings and i thought i could let down my guard and allow myself to fall again and to think that a guy i told all that to that knew of how i was treated before and everything to a guy who treated me like no other who took me on my first date and i know i shouldve listened to my family i shouldve seen the signs but i thought it would all be okay but i didnt just get a life lesson or burned in the "world of love" i got something far worse. and you continue on like every things fine...im upset with me and im most of all upset with how you handled this. you thought by ignoring or avoiding me that it will go away but it wont and youve only made it worse. I just dont understand why you couldnt be the adult that you so claim to be or to be a man and just fucking be vocal about things like i told you from the very start, why couldnt you just say something like "hey you know it was great meeting you but i dont like you like i thought i did" or something, you think by ignoring or avoiding someone and playing victim that people will get the hint or that it will solve everything but it wont and it doesnt it just makes you a coward and childish. and i cant believe that after everything youve done and put me through with how youve treated me that theres a part of me that still likes you when i should hate you with everything i am but unfortunately it takes more effort to hate then it does to like and you cant just go to hating someone with the snap of your finger it unfortunately doesnt work like that...trust me ive tried.