#YOU CANNOT TELL ME SCREAM DOESNT WORK PERFECTLY FOR

[blackvail22]

i really do care for him. i care for him soso deeply. in my dreams i imagine him caring for me too, and him always wanting whats best for me. when i woke up this morning i noticed that somehow in my sleep i made my pillows lay perfectly next to me (instead of under my head) to mimic someone laying next to me. it made me happy when i was still dilericous... when i fully came-to, though, i was disappointed but also shocked. how was i able to do that in my sleep?

im fearful that my intentions here arent pure. maybe i do want him but only because i want someone to love me. i know hes bad for me, and i know that i deserve more. my parents only showed me toxic love as well, so its just what im used to. im scared i only want him because i want the chaos.

a friend said today after i told (what i thought was) a lighthearted story, "honestly--and i dont mean this in a mean way--your life seems so depressing and like you want to kill yourself"

what i wanted to say was, "yeah, and ive tried. and ive always wanted to try again, but theres still people that rely on me, so i cant"

instead i just didnt say anything. its the same friend that tells me to kill myself whenever i kill him enough times in a shooter game. he's the same friend that made a gc of me and everyone that knows me (associated with him) abt how no one likes me.

yeah, i guess ive had a more-depressing-than-normal life, but it could be worse. a part of me thinks i shouldnt kill myself because i have no reason to. its not as bad as it can be, so why would i do it?

im melodramatic.

if im being honest, its probably not even that bad to some people. its normal for my mom to call me names and my dad to---... i mean, at least my mom doesnt hit me, and at least my dad doesnt assault me.

for shit parents, they still arent that bad. i mean, they still provide for me when they dont have to. they still pick me up and take me places when they dont have to.

i dont understand why. . why do they do that?

why did they have to tesch me such a complicated form of love.

why did they have to teach me thats love?

its not love. love is not calling someone a slur when youre mad. love is not telling someone to die or kill themselves because they made you upset. love is not making people do things when you know it makes them uncomfortable to "teach them a lesson"

they show me the love they know, and i honestly feel bad for them, too. they had a rough childhood, but they shouldve worked through it (or at least started) before they had kids.

but still, if none of it turned out the way it did, i may have never met you, apple. so, maybe it turning out this way was for the best. im glad i know you. even if we dont talk to each other very much anymore, and maybe we eventually dont talk at all.... getting to say i knew you, apple, is something ill never take for granted.

its 3am. i had such a rough day at work yesterday. im so tired. all i want to do is cry and scream. im so frustrated, and its not even for good reason. this new coworker of mine is going to make me quit my job. i cannot handle them at all.

thank god i go to counseling on thursday. theres so much i need to say, but none of it has value

i truly feel like im a nobody.

(oh, btw i was right abt her not texting me back abt hanging out w me. yay!!! i have so many people that care about me!!!!!)

[bastardsofravenkroft-blog]

speak now tv for me on first listen:

in general:

i love the heavier and more unfiltered (?) guitar work, it suits speak now soooo well. hate whoever the backup singer dude is. their voice is not good with hers imo, its really throwing me off. i dont like how quiet her secondary/backup vocals/‘improvs’ are either. its hard to tell if i like the mix or not yet bc its just different yk

in specific:

i like all the vault tracks. theyre good. anyone who thought castles crumbling would be scream-y i have full rights to call you silly. i can see you was way more of a banger than i thought it would be.

fucking hate mine. i will not be listening to it i dont think. which is the first rerecord i absolutely cannot stand. remember when big wigs came up on you belong with me tv and said its a totally different song and thats me with mine. its awful

sparks fly - pretty good overall, doesnt quite match the heart of the og but i think thatll be a running theme unfortunately.

back to december - perfect. theres a sorta loud like horn or something after the first chorus but its fine. very good taysquared fans are FED.

speak now - perfect. solid. nothing to say bc its a pretty nothing song really but its great.

dear john - honestly was just okay until the middle really. then she really gets into i feel, and it fucking hits. the girl in the dress wrote you a song. and you shouldve known.

mean - i love it! sounds like how it did when they played it live. its fun

the story of us - meh. its not bad at all but its not like. magical either. i like the og better but this is still perfectly listenable

never grow up - three times as good as the original. listening to this was like hearing it for the first time at 14 when someone had one of the most prevalent thoughts in my head into one song.

enchanted - the model rerecord (kinda). this is what they should be. not all of them are going to be exact remakes, but this one is pretty damn close but still has its own personality. WIN.

better than revenge - BANGER. THE FUCKING BACKING VOCALS. i dont mind the lyric change, its hers to change, and i dont think thats much of anybody’s business. shes come to terms with the way she treated another woman when she was 18 and i personally wont shit on her for that. and she couldve intentionally made it shit so a lyric that still works well and illustrates the picture? yes please

innocent - better than the original. better. esp the bridge. no more words cause i will be crying. (also i didnt know for years this shit was about kanye and ngl that did sour it a bit but its MINE so I WILL NOT BE CARING. ty)

haunted - ehhhhh. this is one of my favorite ts songs literally ever bc i was born and raised to be an emo piece of shit, i love the second half, but im not sold on the first half. i hope this is one that mega grows on me, and im still so fucking disappointed not to have an acoustic rerecord :( hopefully itll be added later bc its so fucking good

last kiss - the two seconds of waiting for this to play were like every first day of school all over again. but like enchanted its stellar, she got into it from the beginning and i always forget what an amazing song this is until i listen to it again. i wrote this song out in full at least five times in the journal i had at the time. i really love this version just as much.

long live - so fucking faithful??? WHERE WAS THIS ENERGY FOR MINE??? UGGHHHHHHH anyways shes cute! i like. not super attached to this song anymore but i like this way more than the og even i think. a spruce up was what it needed for me i think

ours - its really really different, and i have no feelings really bc ive never really liked it lol. it flows better i think now, but its still a boring weee im in love song so eh

superman - i really didnt listen to this lmao, it didnt deserve to be on any version of speak now imo, esp now hearing the vault tracks, i wouldve liked foolish one more (timeless is more red to me, she was a bit too immature for when emma falls in love and castles crumbling to sound right, and the other songs were too pop for speak now really)

no matter what though, red and speak now will never be replaceable for me. i love these versions but listening to the originals as a young teenage girl and feel heard and seen in ways i never had been before and working through so many complicated things with the help of those songs is something the rerecords will never have.

also whoever said she could remove one of her best songs from arguably one of her best albums.

[oletherois]

anakin s.kywalker, but he is acting out and singing scream from hsm3 in the jedi temple, thank you.

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

another helping of living w/ bakugou thoughts:

pls i am so sorry, i feel like i bombard y’all with these constantly, but u don’t understand, he literally lives in my brain full time

- if you’re rolling your sleeves up, to wash your hands before dinner, he’ll whack your hands away and do it himself. very much “you’re takin’ too long, idiot. i wanna eat already. let me do it.”,, don’t be fooled tho, you could do it in 2.5 seconds and he’d still open his mouth. bc it has absolutely nothing to do with u and everything to do with him wanting to be close to you

-ik he watches the mha equivalent of the history channel. i just know it. dude is a grandpa at heart, n im so confident he would 100% sit down and watch a 3 hr docu on like, old weaponry or some nerdy shit

-bakugou is annoyingly arrogant, but only about things that don’t matter. like, he’ll fully sit in front of you and tell you he’s stronger/faster/smarter in passing conversation,, but when he does actually impressive shit??? the man clams up. absolutely clams up the second you praise him, trying to brush off whatever ridiculous feat he just pulled to protect u with a “It’s not that big a deal, shut up about it already, dumbass.” 

- pls mans is an absolute simp. u ask him to do something and he’s on his feet in a second. ofc he’s complaining but he’s also then following that up by doing things you didn’t even ask him to do. fan behavior honestly.

-when you’ve had a bad day, he’ll make u food and throw blankets in the dryer for u. don’t expect much verbal comforting from him, bc obviously, but he’s pretty good with actions. you always feel a little warmer after he’s wrapped you in a blanket n fed you something ungodly spicy

- i have absolutely no basis for this but ik he secretly watches kids movies. like, if it’s animated then he’s there. ofc no one is allowed to find out about this ‘embarrassing’ behavior tho, except maybe you. maybe. if you accidentally happen to see it bc he’d never tell u himself.

- he’s a beast to wake up in the morning, but he’s a lot more easy to convince if u pet his hair. or rub his back/shoulders. maybe even kiss his neck. look, u cannot tell me that he doesn’t want to be absolutely coddled in the morning- especially when he can get away with it so easily. 

-bakugou always pulls ur legs into his lap if u sit down next to him. pls he’s so weird, he’ll just like, tap his fingers on ur calves absentmindedly while he’s watching tv

-he probably created a playlist of songs ur ‘allowed’ to play around him. meaning, it’s only the songs on ur phone that he likes 🙄

-bakugou always takes his work phone calls outside. like if his phone rings he’ll just stand up n walk tf out the door to take it. even if it’s cold. u ask him once about it n he just “Work stays at work. This is my fuckin’ home. Now shut up about it already.”

-you’ve never once seen this man wearing socks around the house. don’t ask me, i cannot explain this whatsoever, but i just kno this man walks around constantly barefoot 🤢🤮 unfortunately.

-he’s like, the most functional person ever in almost every aspect, but the stuff katsuki is bad at?? pls he is hopelessly bad. like, lets say art stuff. omg he just doesnt have the patience for it, okay, so say goodbye to any dreams of cute lil couple’s crafts. like, he’ll sit there while u do yours, but his will look like utter shit

- during the week, katsuki is either at work, training, or at home. pls, he works so hard during the day that i highly doubt he’s anything but an absolute homebody during the work week.

- bakugou gets pissy if u re-arrange any of the furniture on a whim. pls he likes comfort and familiarity n if he stubs his toe on the stupid coffee table one more fucking time, he’s going to scream

-its a rare occurance,, especially bc of the crazy hours he works,, but bakugou rlly likes making dinner for u to come home to. he just likes to feel like he’s taking care of u tbh

-he still goes to bed at like 8:30. or thats what u think, but rlly he just goes to sit in your room and have some time to himself for a bit. as much as he loves u, he prob still needs some alone time to recharge

-bakugou takes meticulous care of any plants u have in the house. like he’ll water them on a strict-ass schedule, n preen them when necessary. pls the way he’ll curse them out if they even dare to wilt under his care?? very much “What the hell, you bitch? ‘m doin’ everything fuckin’ perfect! Grow already!”

-katsuki is such a little bitch when he’s sick. he’ll be running like a 103 temp, brain literally melting, and still trying to get up and work out. the only way u can get him to chill the hell out is if u take a nap with him. ofc that means u always get sick too,, but hey- lil sacrifices right??

-he never lets you get the door. like, if there’s a knock n neither of u knows who it could be,, pls he’s on his feet so fast. waving u away n looking thru the keyhole w/ sm suspicion

-he has his spot on the couch, n u will not find him sitting anywhere else. like, that’s his spot. u better pray for anybody who mistakenly takes it

-bakugou doesn’t like dirt or grime, so he won’t allow you or himself, to sit on your bed with clothes that have been outside. like, even if you’re just sitting on top of the covers, he’s gonna throw a fit and demand you change your clothes first bc “No way in hell am I gonna let your dumbass dirty up my bed.”

-katsuki rlly likes when it storms outside. he’ll go sit in front of the window and watch the rain, sipping on a warm drink while he waits for more thunder. 

-living with bakugou is incredibly frustrating, bc he’ll just show up with new skills all of the goddamn time. like you’ll be like, “hmm i’d love to remodel the bathroom someday”,, and the very next weekend bakugou is meticulously re-tiling the bathroom floor by hand, probably also painting the walls in a new color, maybe even installing a new sink just to spruce it up. n then he’ll just present the entirely new, upgraded room with such weird nonchalance that it pisses u off. pls and if you watch him while he does these little projects, with all the weird precision and skill he suddenly gains?? pls you’re sure he must be possessed by the ghost of a craftsman

- when he hangs out with the bakusquad, he’ll drag you along every time. he expects you to sit with him the entire time and act as a social buffer?? basically, someone’ll ask him a question, one he deems stupid and therefore not worth answering, and bakugou will just look at you expectantly. he’ll just stare at you blankly, hardly even blinking until you pick up the slack and answer for him. you call him out on this many times, but it doesn’t matter. it doesn’t change anything. he does this over and over and over again

-bakugou gets really unsettled when you guys fight. like, he can’t sleep and he’s snapping at everybody, and is somehow more aggressive than usual. he always wants to just make up already, but the pride in the way won’t allow it

-he’s a weird stickler about intended furniture functionality?? like, the table is for eating, and the couch is for watching tv, and then only way you’re gonna get him to mix the two is if you ask him rlly rlly nicely

-finally- i have no basis for this one, but ik it in my heart: bakugou has a very intense fight with your thermostat nearly every single day. he swears up and down that it never ‘behaves’ for him, but every time you check it, it’s working perfectly fine

--/-- 

ahahhaa sorry y’all for the super random spam today,, but here were are back to our regularly scheduled bakugou programming,,,, bc idk if it’s obvious ur honor, but i love him

[emsvegetables]

Erm tsukishima, kuroo, ushijima and sugawara deciding to start a family with their s/o??? Fem reader if you may thank youuuuuuu🥰🥰🥰🥰

ofc!!!!!!!! i presume you want headcanons??? Also i hope i interpreted it correctly hahah and i decided to add some hcs of what they would be like as dads!!!!!!!!

Tsukishima:

* Okay he doesn’t even know how to open his mouth and tell you.

* For a smartass, this is the first time he’s really struggling with his words.

* You notice it, of course, because he’s your man after all, and he’s recently been looking at you like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t know how to.

* “Hey, Kei?”

* “Yeah?”

* “Do you have something to say with me?”

* OKAY. This was his chance.

* “I want to start a family with you.”

* Eh??? You’re really shocked.

* He looks so nervous after blurting that out to you, and that’s the first time he’s at a loss of words.

* You just press a kiss to his lips, and you mumble out a quick ‘Okay’.”

* When he becomes a dad, HE DOESNT SAY IT, BUT HES SO HAPPY AND PROUD.

* Like he’ll look at his kid, then look at you, and be so thankful that he got you and a child with you!!!!!!!!!

* He’s making Yamaguchi the godfather hahaha and he ask you to choose who you want to be the godmother!

* Okay he’s a really good dad and a husband.

* After his work, he’ll always ask you how your day went, before going to play with the kids!

* He’s quite analytical, so he can always tell if you’re having a bad day, and he’ll just tell you to go to bed early and he’ll do all the chores for you.

* He also learns all his mom’s recipes and tries his best to cook for you and the kids!!!!!

* But your cooking is still better than his lol.

* ALSO.

* He’s reading his kids dinosaur bedtime stories whenever he can, even to his little girl(s), which has started to be influenced by her father’s love for dinosaurs!!!!!!

* He’s that type of dad that’ll buy dinosaur stickers and paste it around the nursery, and buy dinosaur onesies for his kids too.

* LMAOOO there was one time you weren’t there to shop with him and he came home with a bag full of dinosaur toys and a stack of dinosaur books.

* This man’s love for dinosaurs literally is OUT OF THIS WORLD.

Kuroo:

* He’ll just pop that question to you one day after y’all finish doing...it. 👀

* You’re still flushed, and your chest is still heaving slightly, but he’s smiling at you, so you smile back.

* “Hey, (Y/N).”

* “Hmm?”

* “Let’s have babies together.”

* ???????? YOU’RE SHOOKED.

* He doesn’t even look serious, which makes you really confused.

* “So, you’re serious...right?”

* “Deadly.”

* WELL THATS IT WHO WOULDNT WANT TO START A FAMILY WITH HIM.

* When he’s a dad, he’ll be so happy!!!!!!!

* He’ll look at his kid and look at you, and grin at you.

* “Hell yeah i knocked you up and i got this cute-ass baby!!!!!”

* LOL he’s the type of dad to swear around his baby by accident if you aren’t there to rebuke him.

* There was once when you came home from work and little (Y/N) crawls up to you and says,” SHIT.”

* The smile instantly drops from your face and you’re ready to throw hands at Kuroo and he’s screaming and locking himself in the bathroom LOL.

* Speaking of throwing hands...he’ll throw hands for you and little (Y/N).

* N E WAYS

* This man is a great cook.

* He’s going to be cooking 100% of the time, and he’ll try all his experiments on you.

* Anyways Kuroo’s an only child right?

* So on weekends Uncle Bokuto and Akaashi come over to play with little (Y/N) and he whisks you off on a date!!!!!!!

* And if Uncle Bokuto and Akaashi can’t make it, Uncle Kenma’s coming over to teach little (Y/N) how to play games!!!!

* HES SUCH A GREAT MAN HONESTLY YOU NEVER EVER GET TIRED OF SPENDING EVERY SINGLE DAY WITH HIM.

Ushijima:

* Okay he’s going to just tell you that straight to your face.

* Y’all are just talking casually on the couch one day when he says it.

* “I want a family with you.”

* He’s so serious too!!!! He won’t even blink as he gazes into your eyes.

* When you agree this small smile will just appear on his face and he’ll look so HAPPY.

* And because this pure soft boy cannot keep secrets to himself the next morning Tendou and Semi come knocking on your door and Tendou’s asking you if you guys did the do yet and whether you have little (Y/N) swimming in your stomach yet.

* Tendou’s laughing that laugh of his when you look at Ushijima and go “we’re doing it tonight.”

* OKAY when the baby comes out he’ll be so proud.

* Like he’ll literally carry you in one arm and carry the baby in another home LOLLL

* And let me tell you, this guy is the softest dad ever.

* He can’t ever say no to the baby.

* There was once little (Y/N) saw him eating super spicy noodles and wanted a bite.

* He tried to refuse and move it out of little (Y/N)’s reach, but when he saw tears welling up in their eyes, he just gives them the entire bowl LMAOOO

* Little (Y/N) ended up crying, but totally for a different reason HAHAHA

* And you know how it’s shown in the manga and anime that Ushijima’s dad taught him volleyball??? Well he’s teaching little (Y/N) volleyball too!!!!

* Sometimes you wake up to realise Ushijima isn’t beside you and you peer out of the window to see him and little (Y/N) practicing volleyball.

* Honestly Ushijima isn’t the most perceptive, so if you need something, you’re going to have to communicate with him.

* But when he understands what you want and need, he’s doing it perfectly!!!!!!!

* This man!!!! A great dad(dy).

Sugawara:

* AW HES THE PERFECT MOM DAD

* I mean he already dealt with the first and second years long ago, he’s well equipped to handle little (Y/N) too.

* ANYWAYS.

* He tells you that while you’re talking casually in bed one day.

* “Hey (Y/N).”

* “Yeah?”

* “Let’s start a family. I want little (Y/N)’s running around.”

* He’s looking at you with so much love in his eyes!!!!!!!!!! LIKE !!!!!

* So of course you agree, and when the baby pops out a year later, he’s so happy!!!!!!!!

* Like he’ll literally tear up when he brings the both of you home.

* He’s such an amazing dad tbh.

* Like he’s way more knowledgeable than you in what to feed the baby and what not to feed the baby.

* He’ll be taking over the household chores to allow you to rest and play with little (Y/N).

* He’ll also try out recipes and cook for you!!!! But he can’t cook very well and it always ends with you having to help him salvage the food HAAHAHA

* You and him always tuck in little (Y/N) together at the end of the day, and y’all occasionally tell bedtime stories to them!!!!!

* More often than not he recounts stories of his days at Karasuno to them, and now they’re hooked onto volleyball too.

* He sets for them and teaches them how to spike!!!!!!

* But he’s also a really, really good husband.

* He gives you massages when he notices that you’re too tense, and he always kisses you softly on your lips before he leaves for work.

* SWEETEST MAN EVER. FIRIFIFWJDIFJI

AHHH ANON i hope this was okay!!!!!

[plunnies-n-shit]

Foreigner’s God

Bleach -- UraGrimmIchi -- Post-Canon

Ichigo gets trapped alone in the Soul Kings Palace after Yhwach is defeated.

Kisuke, injured and exhaused, still works tirelessly to open a way back. It only takes a couple of days, but. Time travels differently in the soul kings palace than it does in the other worlds.

By the time they get to ichigo, ichigo has been trapped alone for a full year

The ichigo they find is practically feral. Scared, half-hollified from desperation, weak from starving himself/not taking care of himself, but it still takes grimmjow hours to get ichigo subdued because hollow instincts are p much the only thing ichigo recognizes as not a delusion

It takes even longer to convince ichigo that any of his other friends standing there are real too. And even longer for ichigo to start healing.

He clings to grimmjow pretty hard because his hollow instincts tell him that grimmjow is real and even when the Soul Kings Palace was filled with ghosts and hallucinations Ichigos hollow instincts have never lied to him.

Most of ichigos madness is just from the isolation. Prolonged complete isolation does horrible things to people.

at some point ichigo scored huge gashes into his arms and thighs that healed ugly and even Orihime cant heal them completely. (Or. He doesnt let orihime close enough to heal them.) 

(His throat is torn up from screaming, so his voice is a low painful rasp. Hes so badly oversensitive to everything: touch, taste, noises, smells)

(Yuzu teaches grimmjow how to make jok bc thats all ichigo used to be able to keep down the few times she can remember him being sick)

Grimmjow fucks up every pot and ichigo still eats every bite bc its not food the Palace created for him, the Palace food is almost uncomfortably perfect and grimmjows food is flawed and kinda gross sometimes But its better than the Palace food.

They eventually realize that ichigo cant leave the soul kings palace. But because of the time transition it can sometimes be months if not years between visits from Ichigo's perspective. Grimmjow and kisuke are the only ones who stay with ichigo fulltime.

(Eventual grimmuraichi? Maybe >:3c )

(Benihime can reconstruct anything she touches so kisuke devotes hundreds of hours to learning how to deconstruct the stone of the palace and reconstruct it into plants trees and flowers.)

(Also. Transichi transurahara. Theres only one dick between the 3 of them)

(Well. Trans Enby Urahara. His gender is Science)

("You cant possibly want to stay here."

That perfectly-cheerful facade falters for just a moment as Kisuke freezes. "Whatever gave you that impression, Jaegerjaquez-kun?"

"Lemme see," Grimmjow starts counting on his fingers. "Cat-bitch, little demon boy, little demon girl, mr tall dark and kido-happy, your shop, your deal with the shinigami, all your experiments.... am i missing any?" 

Kisuke very slowly shoves the box he was unpacking aside so he can boost himself up onto the table and face Grimmjow. "There is no experiment that i cannot run here," he soothes. "And.... I have lived a long time, Grimmjow. You two are fairly young in the grand sceme of things, and if my predictions are correct you will live much longer than any soul or shinigami could hope to live. But--" his smile turns wry; the second honest expression Grimmjow's ever seen on that face, though Grimmjow would love to forget the first. "-- this old man would love nothing more than to spend the rest of his days at your side, and Ichigo's. If... if you two will have me, of course.")

(Grimmjow pulls Kisuke into a kiss, the slow, languid kind that makes onlookers feel like voyuers. "Youre not that old yet, geta-boshi")

(Kisuke turns himself into a vizard so ichigos instincts can recognize him)

(Grimmjow's like "...... ok thats kinda hot")

(Especially since grimm has to give urahara the post-hollification beatdown. Its not ichigos raw strength, but theres something about uraharas sharp-as-knives cunning that gets grimmjow a little hot n bothered.)

(Ichigo is their king long before he ever finally takes the Soul Kings throne)

(mostly to make sure Kisuke gets reincarnated somewhere good)

(And when grimmjow passes the final stage of hollow evolution and back into the cycle, and Ichigo finally allows himself to give up the throne, theres a boy with snow-white hair and a persistent cough waiting patiently at the gates.)

[th3okamid3mon]

JoJo Rabbit, a well thought and heart-wrenching satire [SPOILERS]

Even in a comedy you can´t help to cry, there´s no way you can talk about any war without crying or feeling such a deep horrible feeling of fear and distraught.

(I´m gonna be disclosing a lot of SPOILERS, which include the ending and several key points of the story.)

Sinopsis:

Johannes Breztel is a 10 year old german fanatic who wishes to become a good nazi soldier. He goes to a military camp where he has to learn everything you need to know about being a good soldier and make Hitler proud. JoJo, with his imaginary friend Adolf, began their adventure to becoming a better German for their homeland and fighting against the evil plaguing it: jews. 

Writing and Characters:

I heard a lot about Taika Waititi, haven´t watch Ragnarok since I´m not exactly a huge fan on superhero movies (Watched most of the MCU movies mostly out of duty, in a ¨God, please just end it¨ kind of way. Loved Iron Man, hated the 3, Thor was boring, and etc, etc.), I heard how awesome he is, how good is he at also acting and such. This is a huge and great example for his brilliance to shine. 

Every story about WW2 is really predictable, you know people are gonna die and people are gonna be miserable or happy at the end of the war. Waititi does a flip by using dark comedy and the perspective of a child, which a lot of people seem to not want due to how disturbing it can be (once you get all the comedy out of the way). 

You follow Johannes ¨JoJo¨ Betzler, a 10 year old who is, as the character of Elsa says is:, ¨just a little boy playing to be a soldier with a funny costume trying to get in a club¨. We see he has blind devotion towards the evil Adolf Hitler and is really excited to participate in a training with the hopes of becoming a soldier or better yet, Hitler´s personal body guard. It is disturbing to think a young child, or any child by any means, want to become part on the worst human activity there is: war, and not only that, idolizes the worst and evilest bastard who could have ever been alive. Of course, JoJo is not good for war at all. No kid has the killing instinct in their blood, it´s not something you inherit its something they learn or, in this case, brainwash into believing. He gets into a hilariously portrayed accident that involved a hand bomb that exploded his left side. 

His character is the most developed in the entire movie, we follow his steps, we see what he sees and we feel what he feels. His mother tried very hard to taught him how awful war was, he saw Elsa hidden in a tight spot where she had to keep quiet or she and the rest could get in serious trouble, he saw the military before and after going to war. He began to understand how awful can war be, but it wasn´t fully absorb until several traumatic events happened that no child ever had to see in their young life. It´s a very likable child, you are never angry at his devotion he was literally taught from infancy how he had to serve a dictator. The fault falls in the regimen, his actions, the things he does and acts are his only responsibility and thanks to his child innocence and wonder and compassion we know he is a good person in the inside just a bit confused. 

Rosie Betzler. If you didn´t like Scarlett Johannson for his previews acting on the fucking MCU movies (like me, GOD I hated her), well I bet you are gonna like her in this one. I mean... SHE SMILES? WOW, DIDN´T KNEW SHE COULD DO THAT. Seriously, the directing in the heroes movies fucked her seriously. She is a brilliant actress and is so wonderfully funny in this one. A kind mother with brutal honesty trying to raise her now beloved child alone (since her husband is at war and her older child died from influenza, I didn´t exactly got that from the movie) while keeping certain secrets to keep him safe is hard enough, but during NAZI GERMANY while being part of the jewish resistance is IS ANOTHER LEVEL OF HARD, ITS LIKE NIGHTMARE MODE IN FUCKING OUTLAST. Badass character, keeping a balance between trying to make her child feel like a child and also keeping the orphan Elsa a secret. She didn´t had a huge development and she didn´t need one, we only needed to see what secrets she was hiding and damn... They cost a lot once you knew them all. 

Elsa, brave and aggressive Elsa. Of course anyone would act the way she did if she had to be quiet to avoid being sent to a concentration camp. The girl has a lot of knowledge in popular culture, telling JoJo about different artists who, not only were writers or musicians, but also Jewish (to the dismay for poor, silly JoJo). She didn´t have a huge development, she begin to understand JoJo deeply as well as Rosie, since both where there for her (even if they had different and opposite motivations). Elsa is like an obstacle for JoJo except she doesn´t do much and wouldn´t do so if it meant putting herself at risk. We can see she is really brave once the Gestapo stop at their home, brave and smart that is. Without her quick thinking the movie would have ended then and there. I can´t imagine how deeply horrifying it would have been to do that and how awful and sad her life was after not only loosing her fiance to tuberculosis but also watching her family getting in a train and leaving to a place where no one returns. She acts aggressive and is harsh because she needs to survive and when she begins to trust JoJo, their bond become strong and deep and become like siblings. 

Capitan Deertz is a very apathetic and silly capitan, the guy is really tired of the war and doesnt really want anything to do with the children at the camp, not because of a moral compass he just doesnt give a fuck. You get this character and you laugh at his commentary and at how Rosie can easily threaten him. And then you see more of his character, he seems to care at certain some points. He cares about Finkel, who is a second in command. Every time they appear in screen they are literally whispering stuff at each other or have certain looks, clearly a gay couple. At that time period it was EXTREMELY dangerous to show any type of love towards another man and this two werent that subtle about it but since they were high in command guess no one actually care or said anything (considering most of the people in their command were children, no one would probably even care). Finkel was just this goofy guy who follow Deertz and show a deep appreciation. Not the main thing to focus, it´s just there and it´s funny and its normal. They dont have to look or act in ¨gay way¨, they are just there and they do their work and such. Which is fine until you get the war scenes and then you want to bawl even more (Because when you get at the war scenes you already should have bawled your eyes out due to a lot of sad circumstances). He also cared about Rosie and JoJo, even when he seem not to. When he saw Gestapo in Rosie´s house he helped JoJo save Elsa and when he was trapped by the Allies he helped JoJo again by ripping a nazi jacket off of him and shoving him to the ground while screaming at him. General jerk is actually a caring character, cliche move but man, does it always fucking works. 

The dialogues were impressively well thought, no one felt out of place and they made sense. The way they make fun of the whole blind fanatism and how the military views boys and girls it´s all in your face and its hilarious, it is presented as that so please no one start saying how sexist or how wrong it is for saying the things they say. It´s a SATIRE. It´s a MOVIE. ITS COMEDY.

I cannot thought of any kind of plothole, I´m sure it has or it probably has but the story is so well thought and so well acted you are absorb into it. Your whole attention is in what will happen next, the story of WW2 can be predictable, but this story is always at 2 steps of ripping your heart and then replacing it and hoping it pumps blood normally and when it does pump blood normally it rips it off again. It´s a rollercoaster, and it´s capturing. Your attention is in the story 100% of the time, and you gotta pay attention to the details because they foreshadow so much good and so much PAIN. 

Directing and Acting: 

I almost go off in the other section about Scarlett´s acting, now here it comes: MY GOD. I hated her so much in Avengers. The mot disliked character for me was her, and I always forget it was the directors fault. Here´s a note: When an actor acts bad, it´s not always, if not NEVER, their fault. Most of the time is the directors fault, you have to give straight and good orders and to maintain a communication with them if not the story falls. When Black Widow was shown in Iron Man, I was like ¨Wow, I like her! She is really good and badass!!¨ and then Avengers happened and it fucking fall all over the fucking lava floor. And IT WAS A FUCKING SHAME. Scarlett Johansson is a really good actress! She portrayed an excellent character, even if it was a minor character, she did it perfectly and shown so much emotion with the looks and the words she said and the actions she did. She was a mom in this movie, and it showed! THIS! THIS CHARACTER MADE ME LOVE JOHANSSON! Please dont go to shit directors ever again, my god. Avengers was a fucking toxic relationship and SHE GOT OUT AND SHE IS BRILLIANT. 

Taika Waititi is such a great director, he really put his love and passion into this project and it shows. It bleeds passion, it fucking tastes passion. I dont understand, he needs more money to make more works. GIVE THIS MAN MORE MONEY. 

The kids? Holy- How old are th- 12!?!?!?!? ROMAN GRIFFIN DAVIS WAS 12?!?!?! How old was- HIS SIBLINGS ALSO WORK IN THIS?! Ok how old is the othe- 11!?!?!??! ARCHIE YATES IS 11!??!?!  Ok, as you can see, I am very impressed by this child actors. It can be a challenge to direct them because sometimes there are a lot of different needs they have and they also can´t work as much as the adults and such, this means there´s less time to work with them and maybe they have school and other child responsibilities. Waititi must have had a lot of patience and a really big understanding of their work hours, not over pressuring them and knowing how to explain the whole script. That doesn´t mean they dont have talent, though. This kids are EXTREMELY talented, they are funny and they show a lot of emotion, even when one is comic relief you can sense and see how exhausted he is while saying ¨I´m going to see my mom, I need a cuddle¨ LIKE... THIS ARE KIDS, THEY SHOULDNT BE AT WAR, WTF!? 

The actors protrayed their respective characters in such a way, deeply understanding what emotions go in each scene and making the scene so heart wrenching. 

[BIG SPOILER, SKIP IF YOU DON´T WANNA KNOW] There´s a scene I enjoyed a lot by how it is presented, it´s a good sequence and the punch hits you really hard. During the movie you can see a couple scenes where they only show Rosie´s feet, dancing or just moving while JoJo sees amused or not. Anyway, the scene I´m talking about is when he is following a really pretty blue butterfly that is flying at floors level. He walks towards it and smiles, he squats to take a better look at it before it flies away. And when he stands up again, he is next to a pair of legs, and not any legs, they have a specific kind of shoe, and they have a specific blue coat. Oh no. You dont have to see the face, there´s no need to see the face. You dont have to see the expression you only need to see JoJo. And this is where I have no idea how this kid did it, but his expression goes from wonder to horrifying sadness and desperation. I dont know what direction, what mental image did Waititi told him but he manage to portrayed a really raw and deep sadness and heartbreak you can only see in people who lost someone. And the kid is just holding his mother´s lifeless legs and crying and desperate trying to tie her shoelaces and then giving up and hugging her again. And then he is just broken, looking at her hanging with other people who might have been with her or not. The realization of how harsh the punishment is and how awful life is that day at that time. And he can´t believe it, he doesnt want to believe and maybe if he had acted differently she would have still been there but no. It wasn´t his fault, he had nothing to do with it. He later was explain what possibly happened. She was with the resistance, her husband was with the resistance in Italy. She was against nazi´s but she never told him to protect him and to protect herself. She sacrifice for other people, she put herself in danger for other people and for a better future for her son. JoJo wouldnt have known, he couldn´t know and now that he knew he just loved her so very much and it hurted him. It wasn´t the jews´ fault, it wasn´t his fault, it was the people of the regimen he was following, the regimen who promised a bright future for him and the other children. 

Sound design: 

It was delightful. Dialogues kept at their respective volumes, background noises were there and not overbearing, the sound of steps, something being dragged, the sound of bombs and artillery. Not a single time was any sound out of place, it was as if you were there, it immersive. The sound played a huge rolled into being capture in the story, with such detail at every sound that could be played at the scene. The silences where used perfectly, only backgrounds and atmospheric sounds plagued the scene, and when the moment hit you there was still no music until the realization was made. Perfect timing.

The soundtrack was beautiful, endearing and melancholic at their respective scenes. When there was music to dance on, the music played, when there was a hilarious montage the music exaggerates the ridiculous situation they are presented in. It was wonderful. 

Art design: 

They went all off!!! The clothes, the cars, the food, the plates, everything! I wonder how much investigation did they had to do to fully dress up an entire cast and also to do the little details. One thing is getting the clothes that, to be entirely fair, thanks to photos from those times and more investigation from books, you can figure out the type of clothes and materials they used, but the details from the streets, the kind of bikes and the inside of a house its an entire story:

Investigation is not entirely what you need to do, you have to consider what colors go well, what makes the character pop but also make sense, how the decor should be done and what kind of table and chairs are in a normal house. How do the hidden rooms worked and how where they hidden at plain sight, how do you make it work and how will it look. All has to be thought out, everything has to have a purpose, even the smallest change can be a whole new set. Make it look pretty but make sure it makes sense to the era. 

Photography: 

Let´s talk photography, shall we?

Look at how the colors vary, look at the highlights and shadows. Look at the saturated colors. I LOVE saturated colors, not many photographers used them out of fear, the colors can be very bright and distracting, but Mihai Mălaimare Jr. made it work! His shots are spectacular, they work perfectly to capture whats going on and how the characters feel. 

JUST LOOK AT THE CONTRAST. In the first picture there´s a big open shot, both Rosie and JoJo are in the very left corner while you can see the bright green grass. They are free from everything when they are out of town, they can be happy or enjoy their time while being there, even if JoJo likes to pretend to be mature and to still want to be a soldier while his mother is trying to make him understand how life has to be enjoyed while it last and how war has ruin that for everyone, including the nazi germans. The second shot is at the town, look at how grayish it looks. Everyone is miserable. There´s no such thing as a good war, and whether you believe it or not, even the nazi germans were suffering, the ones who werent fighting were frighten to be attacked, hungry because the food was not enough or was given to the soldiers, no one was happy at that point in life. The color palettes help tell a story, and influence how you look at the lives of the characters. It´s visual storytelling and you can feel the fresh air, the relief from the first shot and then the limited, claustrophobic and fearful atmosphere from the second. 

What a better representation of what war is. Kids going to get killed for an evil regimen disguised as the savior for their homeland. JoJo who finally sees that horrors of war, a kid who has lost so much now, who knows heartbreak but never fathom the idea of horrifying, raw, disturbing and sickening war is. How you loose more than you gain from fighting, how you see your friends being send like pigs to a slaughter, how the military blindly follows orders for a falling regimen. The look of utter disbelief and horror contrasting the he blind joy of dying for your country. This shot is everything and in motion is even more epic yet disturbing. 

Conclusion:

I might be too blinded by how well it was made that I don´t see any problems in it. I would have to watch it again to see if there´s some inconsistencies but going by the first watch I have to say it was really good. The plot was understandable, it had high points and slow points, but those were well made. It was smooth how the story evolve, the turns were expected but maybe not in the way they were presented. What i mean is, it can be predictable but you dont expect HOW it is presented. With War stories death is at every corner, it´s the manner that you don´t expect or hope to happen to anyone. The acting was phenomenal, the star was totally Roman Griffin, all the actors were amazing but you gotta give the kid credit, THIS WAS HIS DEBUT and he NAILED IT! 

By the looks of the trailer you expect so much and it gives you that and more. To the eyes is a delight, to the heart is a pain and comfort and to the ears is a melody. To the soul is a story that has to remind you history, war is not a good thing and so many people get more damage by it than saved. No kid should ever be put in that situation, and yet there are kids suffering in this world. This movie could potentially be an Anti-War movie, because it literally shows how awful it is. Wars are awful in general! It´s kind of ridiculous we need to be reminded of that but here we are. 

We are shown a cruel environment with a humorous tone to get the message straight into our heads and it works perfectly. Give it 3 watches and then watch another 3 times, every time you feel like everything is going down, remember there´s still hope even in the darkest more horrifying places and times. We have the choice to make good, humans can be evil but can be extremely brave and compassionate. Never give up being a good person, it can be hard but it is more rewarding. People need kindness and compassion. We need to be those compassionate people for others. It always starts with one brave person. 

The last thing you leave the theater is with a verse from Rainer Maria Rilke: 

                                      Let everything happen to you.                                                Beauty and Terror.                                                Just keep going.                                               No feeling is final.

Sincerely moved, T.O.D

PS: Fuck Hitler. 

[reyloner]

what Reylo fics r u cudrently reading? any u recommended?

 okay, so I’ve got a much bigger fic-rec list coming soon on some of my all time faves, but here’s a few fics that I’ve recently read that I absolutely adore.  

it takes two to tease | @holyrenperor

The Force connects them when they’re most desperate for each other.

 A lovely little one-shot, canon verse, with some feels and a grade a smut. Seriously, highly recommend anything from murakamism!

Head over feet | @ever-so-reylo

They’re not dating for real. Right?

This wonderful wip makes me all giddy and laugh out loud bc, goddamn, it’s just such an amazing au. bc WHO DOESNT love a fake dating trope with a professor/student on top of it. Like, it just… fulfils me in the best way. 

The Losers Club | @foxesdance

Rey and Ben are friends. Like. Best friends. Totally platonic. What on earth could ever change that?

This is just… so ridiculously hot and perfect in every way. Like, this fic legit made me fall in love with Ben and Rey ALL OVER AGAIN and… just damn. THE FREAKING BUILD UP TO THE SMUT – it was just genius. Many thanks to this amazing author!

Written on the Heart | @midnightbluefox

Rey Kenobi spends her days trying to focus on her classes, working at the on-campus cafe to pay off her crippling student debt, and hopefully beating irritating and entitled Ben Solo in a contest for a scholarship and writing job she’s always dreamed of.

But in her free time, she’s KiraofJakku, an online writer and member of a Discord writing group, struggling to balance her college career and passion for fiction. When she finally works up the nerve to message her favorite author and fellow Discord member, KyloRen, an unlikely friendship blooms.

One chapter in and I’m already so in love with this fic! Like, it’s lowkey an enemies to lovers BUT they already online lovers… mind blown. I’m absolute trash for it!

Boon  | @rebelrebelreylo

Three text messages changed Clyde Logan’s life forever.

Are you being harassed by a federal agent?

Does she have brown hair, horse teeth, and a stick up her ass?

Leave now, Clyde.

Okay, maybe four.The Resistance is on your side.

I’m AN ABSOLUTE WHORE for some reylogan and this is no exception. I was instantly hooked when I read the first chapter and DAMN, i cannot wait to read more. 

Dear Kylo Ren | @j-dryless

After helping a rich man out with his car, Rey receives the opportunity of a lifetime. Rey accepts, even if she’s forced to write letters by hand (who on earth still does that?!) to the enigmatic Kylo Ren.

THIS AU IS SO DAMN GOOD, LIKE. oh my goshhh, Kylo is such an ass BUT a lovable one and I’m legit cheering Rey on to roast him in her letters while also complimenting his handwriting… and Mitaka. SWEET, SWEET MITAKA NEEDS TO BE SAVED real quick. So amazing!!

The Finer Points |  @loveofescapism

Prince Ben Solo has a reputation in the country of Alderaan for being a drunk, a gambler and most importantly; a womanizer. However, when tragedy strikes, he now has to take the throne as King and find himself a wife to rule by his side. Enter Lady Rey, his childhood friend and a woman who won’t stand for any of indiscretions… or I have written a Victoria AU, with a switch up that involves Ben asking a prostitute for sex tips as he is actually a virgin and wants to please his wife to be.

I’m sorry, BUT A VICTORIA AU??? PIANO SEX?? bitch, she tickling my ivories (or is it ovaries with ben solo and dem hands on those keys?). BUT FORREAL, this is just… so damn good. Like, Prince Ben Solo so against marriage until he falls in love with Rey by one damn glance. GOD, i could legit scream about this forever! PLEASE READ AND SCREAM WITH

 Among the Ash-Heaps and Farce | @rakefiree

In the corporate world, everyone is someone else’s bitch. And, in order to climb to the top, you have to find the right master to slave away for. Dopheld Mitaka is Kylo Ren’s bitch and the bitch has chosen right.

Until one day, Rey Niima happens.

THIS FIC IS SO HEARTWARMING AND WELL LEAVE YOU SMILING FOR DAYS AND CACKLE OUT LOUD – it’s such an amazing concept that is executed perfectly, I LOVE IT with all my heart!!

Secret Admirers | @reylocalligraphy

When Rey transfers into Ben’s high school, he is instantly intrigued. Unfortunately, his fat mouth simply cannot shut up in her presence.

This fic is so amazing and heartwarming, and GOD, it totally owns my ass but… what really gets me is the absolute dedication Catey put into making this! How much research she put into the Australian education system, THE CANTEEN LINE THAT WENT ON FOR LITERAL YEARS, pizza fridays that were the reason I was broke in HS… all of it was so perfect and damnn, this fic needs to be read ASAP if you haven’t. Like, if you’re curious on an australian HS au, this is a brilliant read – believe me. 

And, you know… it also features my OTP… Ruby/Jar Jar – reyloner ain’t so lonely anymore! 

Offside | @sciosophia 

“Go on,” Ben tells her, prodding at the wound he seems to be asking her to open. Tell me the honest truth. I want to know what you think of my game. His voice, now, is soft. If it weren’t public information, she’d never have guessed he has a reputation for a temper. “There’s more to say. So say it.”

…or, Ben is the world’s most famous soccer player, Rey is the captain of the England women’s team, and they are unhelpfully attracted to one another.

Read this earlier tonight (or rather morning, bc it’s 5am whoops, time flies with fic) and just… wow. It was so spectacular – truly every word was perfect and amazing and DAMN I loved everything about it. Brought up some cool childhood memories of playing football and, wow, just… the build up to the end was incredible. Just an amazing one-shot that I SERIOUSLY recommend to everyone. 

ALRIGHT. THATS IT. IM DONE. 

but there’s a much bigger list on the way, so… get ready for some good fkn fic. 

[kob131]

https://caddeter.tumblr.com/post/185314400350/kob131-ninja8tyu-dudeblade-ninja8tyu

No, Knight, you’re wrong, about everything.

Cadder, you’re a part of a Death Battle hate group with members that preach that Ben and Chad should be fired and executed.

Ninja8tyu’s argument is that people should direct their rage to the right people.  He’s saying that if your neighbor does something that makes you mad, you should take i it up with your neighbor, not your dog.

And if that rage is based around your neighbor not walking the right way so you scream at their boss to get fired.

Said the man who has nearly drove someone to suicide through harassment and has yet to change their ways.

You mean this link?

In which the author outright contradicts how a suicidal person would act by making this big performance, acts out of the blue and tries to use that to drive away anyone who disagree with them?

Where I outright TRY to stop it?

Every single person I’ve shown this to has never had anything against me, even people who dislike my way of arguing or what I say. Sorry but your slander doesn’t work here.

Meanwhile, your friend Antcow once said that Screwattack should be shut down, Bene and Chad should be forced to admit every Death battle was fixed and they should have their livelihoods destroyed. And yet you don’t seem to have any issues with that.

Unfortunately for you, Christopher, one of my previous flaws was that I was too shy and allowed myself to be cowed too easily. That’s gone now.

1.  There is a right target here.  People are mad about the results of Ben 10 Vs. Green Lantern, their anger should be directed at the research team, not the two voice actors who didn’t know the results until they started recording their lines.

2.  Why don’t you listen to the words coming out of your mouth and actually practice what you preach for once in your good damn life.

1. It’s a fucking piece of fiction about other pieces of fiction. You’re condoning harassment over that.

2. I do. What I do isn’t harassment anymore than disagreeing with a politician. It's not like I’m saying all their followers are demons that deserve to die or that they’re not human and should all die.

Oh, this argument again.  Okay, Kkkobias, let me tell this to you really really slowly so that you can get it.

People. You. Don’t. Agree. With. Get. Free. Speech. Too.

If you say something on the internet that people disagree with, people are allow to disagree with you.  Every time you use the free speech argument, it’s always to to ‘We’re allowed to talk, and you aren’t.’

Like where precisely? 

Also, harassment isn’t covered by free speech. So...

Oh, P.S. Get a new buzzword, that one’s looking out dated and pathetic.

1.  All Dudeblade has done was make a few jokes about how Miles and Kerry were bad writers.  That’s not the equivalent of trying to kill them.  Once again, nobody complains when we make jokes about M. Night Shyamalan, Micheal Bay, Rob Liefeld, David Cage, Joe Quesada, Bill Jemas, Scott Ciencin, and several other bad writers.  Why is it so wrong to make jokes about Miles Luna?  

And threatened Jaune Arc...

While saying fiction equals reality...

And preaching that Jaune arc is a self insert of Miles...

Yeah, call me back when you can prove that people threaten the self inserts of others while thinking this equates to real violence.

2.  Dudeblade has never harassed Miles Luna.  Harassing Miles Luna would be stalking his twitter, constantly sending him insulting messages about how he’s a terrible writer.  Harassing Miles Luna would be ensuring that Miles never stopped hearing about how he’s the worst writer in the history of humanity and that’s never going to change no matter what.  Harassing Miles Luna is not saying some mean things about the man in a tag he’s most likely never going to look at.

Funny how you say I’m a harasser then since I do a lesser version of that.

Almost like you’re making excuses.

3.  And I cannot stress this enough, you try to do that every single day.

Cadder, you’re suppose to say something about me, not something that applies to you.

Once again, look in a mirror already you disgusting rotting hunk of flesh.

Mind showing me one? Because you don’t have one evidently.

Knight, for the millionth time, that’s not us, that’s you.  For example, I’m not hearing you saying anything nice about these two like you claim the RWDE tag needs to, I guess all your arguments are invalid.

Too bad I said that in regards to media, not people.

We’ve been telling you that for two years straight, you’ve never listened once.

Cadder-

https://caddeter.tumblr.com/post/185245947600/prismatic-bell-thetourguidebarbie

https://caddeter.tumblr.com/post/185245633045/dudeblade-mitch-mcconnel-lost-every-single-right

https://caddeter.tumblr.com/post/185203907030/trump-hud-official-lynne-patton-says-she-doesnt

https://caddeter.tumblr.com/post/185035274780/trump-is-giving-a-pardon-to-a-convicted-war

https://caddeter.tumblr.com/post/184711539330/trump-2-years-of-my-term-were-stollen

https://caddeter.tumblr.com/post/185245875210/dudeblade-let-it-be-known-that-if-you-are-a

Not to mention shit like Antcow’s art commissions of Tifa murdering Yang or demanding Bene and Chad have their lives destroyed before he took them down.

All of which you OPENLY associate yourself with and agree with.

Why should I listen to you?You’ve been caught lying here about me as well as the fact that you are perfectly willing to endorse things FAR FAR worse than what I do.

And unlike me, you’ve never said ‘I did something wrong in the past’. And the examples I provided are, at least, three days old.

You don't actually care about what’s morally right. You care about putting down someone who offended you years ago while trying to support the ‘right’ violence.

Sorry, Christopher, but I don’t listen to people like you. Not because of what you did in the past, not because I disagree with you but because by all rights: your actions shouldn’t exist.

[neotericbitch]

a sequel to DarqAnon

part the first

It’s quite abusive, there I said it, how you’re allowed to force a ritual onto a child, whether it be reciting an anthem or staring at the sun, before their brain has developed enough to comprehend the significance. In fact, doing so makes it more likely that as the child grows up, they will never truly find meaning in the action! How sad is that? I’d never force anything on my son.

Growing up, staring into the sun was something I never understood. For a long time I didn’t, I couldn’t conceive of the satisfaction or happiness my family derived from it. It meant something to them, so they tried to teach it to me, but it never meant anything to me. I understood that the sun was their god, but because I never truly believed, I couldn’t grasp how or why it would be important to them to stare up at it, burning their eyeballs out of their sockets. Their god was sending a clear message, do not look at me. Why would they do it anyway?

Oh, but - do keep in mind that that’s all in the past. I understand now. I understand perfectly.

Valkyrie Cain has the most brilliant black eyes. Truly, her every feature is marvellous, her sharp nose, her expressive mouth - but I always go back to the eyes. For Crandall, it’s her hands. They’ve shared many times over many meetings, to the point where I find it very annoying, that they want nothing more than to feel her hands on the sides of their head before she crushes it. I think it’s a nice little fantasy to have, just stop telling us about it. I have only ever shared what I wanted two, maybe three times. That’s an acceptable amount of times! Any more is overdoing it, Crandall! Crandall, I know you’re listening. I’ve been able to feel it even when a very good Sensitive is in my head, Crandall, and you are not a very good Sensitive.

Beside me they turn their head away. Why would they want to listen to my thoughts, anyway, when Valkyrie is here? I suppose I understand their hesitance. Darquesse, goodness - Darquesse wouldn’t stand for anyone hearing her thoughts, absolutely not! To attempt it on her would be a high offence. But Crandall, if you’re still listening, I’d say go ahead for the time being. Darquesse isn’t here. Not yet.

Looking at her, it all makes sense. I want to call up my mother and tell her I understand, I understand wanting - needing! - to look at something, even if it does not want you to. The sun may try to blind you. Valkyrie may glare and scream and curse. But you simply cannot look away.

I cannot call up my mother, of course. She has been dead for a hundred years, and I’m busy right now - and I don’t think there’s mobile phone reception here anyway.

For this week’s Thursday meeting, 6 to 7:30, we have made a temporary move from the community hall to the vault, generously donated for DA’s use by Nicki, who we had to murder. Dear girl, she didn’t want to let me hold the meeting here this week. I suggested it at the end of last week’s meeting and everyone was very excited. A hundred meters beneath the spot where Darquesse opened her portal to another dimension and disappeared - we’re so lucky to have this place! Of course everyone wants to come here whenever we have the opportunity! But Nicki said no. Nicki said to me, “Isserley, these meetings have been really great, you are a good organiser and I’m very happy to have met everyone, but I think what you’re planning is wrong. Please return the vault key to me.” So we had to kill her.

And here we are tonight, and I almost wish Nicki were here so I could say, to think you didn’t want this! The meeting is going very well, I think it’s our best one yet. 6:40 and we’re just about to finish setting up, we’re a neat little group of people. We won’t go over time at all! I’d like to say that I, being an incredibly organised person, have been a good influence on my fellow DA-goers.

Salma finishes painting the symbol on the ground. Her designs are ugly, but she has a steady hand and knows how best to use the petrol paste, a very special concoction. No one else could have done this job - though I must admit, I am a bit envious. Easy, Isserley! Remember, your job is the most important. Without you, this wouldn’t work. Without you, Valkyrie would not even be here.

Salma reaches for Valkyrie. She thrashes wildly - and I can’t say I blame her! I wouldn’t want Salma to touch me, either! Haha. But it really won’t do for her to behave this way, we really need her complete cooperation, so I motion to Respite at the wall and he turns the crank, tightening the chains attached to the bound cuffs at her every limb. She is pulled tight, and by the sounds of it it’s not a very comfortable experience, but now she is tense and mostly still - perfect for Salma to draw the symbol on her wrists and stomach.

She puts up a hell of a fight when Respite disconnects the chains from the wall and reconnects them to the floor, at each corner of where the symbol has been painted so she is now seated in the centre. I can’t help but smile! She reminds me of one of those beautiful shrine maidens. If only I’d thought of that earlier. I would have put this off one more week and gotten an outfit made. But the clothes she put on herself this morning are more than lovely. Darquesse will like them. Darquesse will like being back.

Valkyrie keeps straining and trying to get up, the poor dear! I wish I could go over there and pat her face, like I used to pat my son’s when he was resisting me - I wish I could tell her everything will be alright. But I know, even chained and without magic, she could certainly find a way to kill me if I were within reach. And I don’t want her to kill me until the ritual is complete, of course! Otherwise what would be the point?

“I don’t even know,” Valkyrie growls - what a good word for it! Indeed, she is doing her very best to sound deep, dark and scary. Soon it will come naturally. “I don’t even know what you think this will do. It’s not a full moon, or a blood moon, or any kind of moon. It’s not a magical day, it’s not a holiday, it’s not even a day that means anything to me.”

It’s my birthday, but don’t tell anyone that. It’s my special little secret, my gift to myself.

“This sigil is totally made-up. It’s not going to do anything.” She tries to raise her hand to her face to wipe off some sweat, but the chain is too short. “Let me go and I’ll make it quick - because when Skulduggery gets here, he certainly fucking won’t.”

I crouch down to be on her level, and I’m filled with such...reverence. I understand. I understand. This is what I was supposed to feel kneeling in the sweltering heat for hours on end. I’m glad I feel it here instead.

“You will kill us,” I say. “But we’re not going to uncuff you, you’ll do that yourself.”

“What are you talking about?” She is so exasperated and so irritated and so wonderful. “These cuffs are bound. It doesn’t matter how great you think I am, I’m not that strong.”

“You will be! You will be.” In the corner of my vision I see Salma fidgeting. Salma!!! You’re ruining this!! To make her stop, I gesture at her so she can speak and stop annoying everyone with her movements.

“The sigil you’re sitting on,” she fires off in her horrible, grating voice, “and the sigils that are on you are my own designs. Just because you haven’t seen them before doesn’t mean they won’t work. They’ll work.” Her lip trembles and she bows her head. “I’m sorry you don’t...believe in me.”

Valkyrie stares for a moment. “You’re completely nuts.” Nuts! Aah! That’s the word I use to describe her! How exciting!

“They’ll work, I swear. I promise. We only need to activate them, and...” Salma looks to me. Unfortunately, I have to stand up now and go back to looking down on Valkyrie. It’s okay, though. It’s okay. Soon she’ll be looking down on me.

For now, she doesn’t look at me at all. She looks down at where she’s put her arms on her knees, wrists facing out. Perhaps Supreme Mage Sorrows once gave her a lesson on what certain strokes can mean, perhaps she’s trying to work out how to counteract our symbol.

She’s fabulous and smart, yes, but she won’t be able to work it out. I am confident. I snap my fingers, summoning a bright, orange flame into my hand. She lifts her head, looks me directly in the eye, and I smile widely. Very widely. Not widely enough. I hope, before Darquesse kills me, she at least takes the time to appreciate what I’m doing for her. I hope she recognises how much I love her. No - I don’t hope. I know. She will. She must.

I take a step forward and crouch again, reaching my hand out to the edge of the symbol on the ground. My flame will catch onto the petrol paste and spread immediately. Valkyrie will be burned, but only a little bit! Just a little bit. Long enough for the fire to catch the symbols on her skin, and she will be protected - and Darquesse will be summoned back into her. She will be complete again.

Before my flame touches the paste, Valkyrie shoots her hand out and smudges the line, which gives me just about the fright of my life! Thank goodness I have such incredible reflexes, otherwise I wouldn’t have jerked my hand away in time. The paste would have caught on fire and surely burned her to death! She rubs her wrists together, wiping away the symbols written there, then kicks her legs out from under her so she’s in a more traditional butt-to-ground position, but that means she’s made the ground symbol worse and displaced dirt into my face.

It’s hard to love her when she has literally blinded me. That whole thing about the sun and everything, it was more of a metaphor. I still love her of course! I’m only taken aback. Anything I may say as I fall backwards isn’t really my fault, since she’s the one who kicked dirt in my eyes. It's more of my reflexes. I never would say anything of the sort to her under normal circumstances. Never.

“You bitch!”

What an inconvenience. I don’t get to see any of what happens next! I only hear the door flying open and gunshots, the sounds of my people yelling and trying to fight. Punches, kicks, bodies falling to the ground. When I hear Salma scream and feel her blood land on my face, I can’t help it! I can’t help it but think, serves you right for putting a cent in the collection tray every week!

“Skulduggery, the-”

“Valkyrie. Are you alright?” Is that him getting on his knees? Maybe he understands after all. “Are you hurt?”

“My skin’s burning, let me loose so I can get this shit off me. The crank on the wall, I think that controls the cuffs.”

I roll onto my side and wipe the dirt from my eyes. I hear Pleasant at the wall, turning the crank back and hitting the release. It’s terribly uncomfortable, but I can open my eyes and see well enough - and what I see is Crandall dead next to me! It’s such a shock, my heart skips at least three beats. That rotten Pleasant. What a barbarian. I lift my head as carefully as I can, so I won’t be noticed. Valkyrie has lifted her shirt to get the symbol off her stomach and cannot see me.

This is so unfair. I put so much work into this plan. It was so hard to trap her! I was going to bring Darquesse back. Me. Not Crandall, not Salma. Not Nicki. Her black eyes would have bored into my skull and killed me and I would have been good and happy. Huh! Maybe I'm not too different to those Faceless worshippers who go blowing themselves up in public places.

“Isserley. I thought that was you.” Pleasant. Pleasant is talking to me. “How have you been?”

Valkyrie snaps her head up at him. “You know her?”

“We’ve seen her in the High Sanctuary.”

“Jesus. Is there anyone you don’t remember.”

“No.” He reaches out and wipes the rest of the symbol off her stomach in one motion. I have dirt in my eyes but I see how her tummy kind of curls in a bit as she drops her shirt down.

That should be me. That should be me. I love her more than anyone. I burst into tears.

“She tried to set me on fire.”

“I think a list of people who haven’t tried to set you on fire would be shorter than a list of those who have.” I hear the clink of handcuffs. “Come on, now, Isserley.”

I let my head drop back onto the ground and stare up at the ceiling. I do not take one more look at Valkyrie. I’m not worthy. I’m not worthy. I failed. “Why don’t you just kill me.” I’m not even aware of myself saying it, to be honest! Just one of those things that...slips out...

“She makes a good point, Skulduggery.”

“Can’t be done. We should leave at least one cultist alive to arrest, so why not take the woman in charge?”

“How do you know she’s the one in charge?”

His terrible skull fills my vision as he looks down at me. You know, hearing him talk this much at one time has jogged my memory. And he does happen to wear very beautiful suits. My mouth falls open. “You’re-”

Valkyrie was startled for a moment by the sudden gunshot. Shoulders tensed, she looked over to Skulduggery standing over the woman, gun still pointed into a face that didn’t really exist anymore.

“What made you change your mind?” she asked as he put the revolver away. Skulduggery came over to her and brushed some hair out of her face, went back to fussing over the injuries she sustained on her way here.

“Too talkative,” he said, and she laughed and teased him about being a hypocrite.

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 10 | “Calm before the storm” - Amir

so jordan pines went home, and im at peace. he was acting in a way to actively be detrimental to my game, and he also was bringing this kind of toxic energy to the game that i'm very much glad to see go. i also have... never felt such fear as when jordan called me out of the blue yesterday KJHASDFJKLASLKJFAS also i kinda wanna write an apology to kendall here? i made this whole ramble at tribal about how we shouldn't make this game personal, but i've also talked about how i dont like her energy and this kind of stuff, and i just wanna apologise? i think i had mega-preconceptions of her and just because we dont always 100% click as people doesnt give me any excuse to be rude! im gonna do better, that's the mission. moving forwards, me and tj squashed our beef which is fun. apparently people think i leaked that lovelis was the vote to him which JKASDLFAS hello?! i sure did not. also i wonder who leaked to jordan that he was the vote? i kind of assume someone told tj, who told jordan? jake suggested devon which i could see. i think this round jake is going to want duncan gone, but i think i want augusto gone? i think amir is a beauty who i want around because we are winners and i also? really like amir on a personal level. and then kendall is sweet, and also i think less threatening, while i could see augusto being able to continue to wriggle through which is scary. anyway so: who i'd vote as a juror: autumn > jake > amir > devon > augusto > duncan > kendall > adam > tj ideal bootlist: augusto > duncan > tj > kendall > amir > autumn > f4: me/adam/devon/jake I LOVE Autumn with my entire soul by the way, but I also do think its becoming apparent that I... would be a complete clown to go to the end with her... but i also do not think i can vote her out, so i hope someone else does...anyway we will see hehe 

Jordan Pines really left… I’m gagged! A whole lot of buffoonery went down during the last few hours and I felt like I had to talk MULTIPLE people off a ledge when it came to flipping. Devon for whatever reason wanted to use his double vote and get out Duncan or TJ but imo, those are very easy votes and we need to save the double vote for something that packs a punch. Adam told me if we should join Jordan in his plan to vote Duncan (which Jordan never told me about so I didn’t want to make it anyway) but I told Adam that if Jordan stays, he’ll go on a revenge rampage and who would be able to stop him. Not only that, but I know Adam and Autumn are close so I told him that we need to build more allies/connections so keeping Jordan could alienate people from working with us like Autumn. Even with Kendall, she did not want to do it for most of the round but as sis had to put his foot DOWN with all these people because Jordan leaving really helps me. I feel I did good also at getting TJ to really trust me? I let him know that he could be receiving votes and that Jordan’s name was out there and we really connected on being scapegoated by the others that round which helped. It’s interesting xoxo

Amir and I were talking about being scared of making match ups for this immunity and then I was starting to think about the tribe dynamics and who might be working with who. Side 1: me, Amir, Kendall (Devon lowkey) Side 2: Autumn, Ali, Adam, Jakey (?) Loose ends: Duncan (tighter with Autumn and possibly Jakey), TJ (tighter with Devon, Kendall, and myself) Am I perfectly right? Probably not but that’s just what I’m observing tbh. I do feel good that my connections to certain individuals (Devon, Jakey, Autumn, TJ, Adam) might be pretty strong which is cute! What I see happening is that Duncan leaves this vote (which is what I really really want), Ali or Kendall next vote (Ali is THE move I want to make because he and I are playing similar and he scares me. It would only be done if me/Kendall/Amir/Devon + his extra vote make it happen. I can see Kendall leaving since there would be big Beauty numbers still in the game which I get. I don’t wanna see her leave because I adore her but in a way, maybe it’d be good for my game idk?), and after that Autumn leaving would be KEY. After that, it’d be me/Amir/Devon/Adam/TJ/Jakey I think? And I don’t feel bad about that in the slightest. I’m getting ahead of myself but I’m a Virgo Sun AND Rising, it’s what I do ghfjdksl

It’s like 1 AM and I’m bored but I’ve been in so many alliances for some reason ghfjdks OG Hathor: Bringing Sexy Back (me, Amir, Kendall, Connor), Leaning Tower of Penis that is also french (me, Amir, AJ, Connor, Kendall), Quadruple A Batteries (me, Amir, AJ, Adam), and The Soviet Oreo Cheesecakes (me, Kendall, Austin). NuThoth: Thots R Us (me, Amir, Kendall, Jakey, Scott), Beauty/Brain Sandwich (me, Amir, Devon), Sexy Procrastinators (me, Kendall, Amir, AJ), and Hehehehe (me, Amir, Kendall, Scott). Merge: dumb betches (me, Amir, Kendall), Beauty/Brain Sandwich (me, Amir, Devon), real riders (me, Amir, Devon, Autumn) Not to mention the one on one alliances I have too (me/Jakey, me/Devon, me/Amir, me/Kendall, me/Autumn [ish], me/Adam [ish], me/TJ [ish]) like I-

me after that entire round https://twitter.com/TheMemesArchive/status/1248726674440695809?s=20 I had to take a day off Skype just to process but now that I'm back? Let me just say that was a masterpiece and some of my finest work. I really orchestrated Jordan Pines' demise from start to finish without getting a vote or an idol played a round BEFORE an all flash game round. I love that he said we've been planning this for a long time and I just wanna clarify. I ALWAYS wanted Jordan Pines out, I just never thought he would play into my hand that fucking early lmaaaaooo. The tea is I just wanted Jordan or TJ to be captain because they've been sitting on their asses all game and have never had to actually work to not be targeted or god forbid earn being in a good spot. Like the winners are awake, the POC's are awake, Devon's been to 50 tribals so he's awake, Jake almost died so he's awake, and Kendall knows she's on borrowed time so she's awake. Miss Jordan and TJ however? They're just along for the ride and I'm sorry if I'm not trying to carry anyone to Final 4 just so I get 4th. But no I had no idea that me organizing the captain thing would set it all off but here we are. These boys really thought y'all- they really thought they did something by choosing the bottom half of the list and hanging me and Duncan high and dry in the process wouldn't mean the end of that alliance. Oh OF COURSE it's the end and it gave me permission to now movely free about the cabin. That Jordan vote was airtight for 21 hours, got leaked, and still worked so know that I will be coming to collect my flowers when this is all over. AND it gets better because soooo many people told on themselves leading up to that vote. Between Duncan snatching immunity from Augusto after agreeing to vote Jordan and then pressuring Devon to vote Jordan in the final minute to Jordan going ballistic on the whole cast and people wanting him out just to have peace again, I have never been prouder of my gameplay lmao. I really turned on an alliance but got the allies to piss a bunch a people off in the process, which sealed the fate of Jordan, Duncan, and eventually TJ. I pushed one whole domino y'all and it done set the course of the ENTIRE merge I'm screaming God is really that good. Like all the men losing trust amongst each other?? Ugh it's glorious. Adam mad at Duncan for lying to his face and pretending that he never wanted Adam out. Amir mad at Duncan for never telling him about that alliance in the first place. Augusto mad at Duncan for snatching immunity all over Jordan just for it to get snatched from Jordan anyway. Jordan mad at Amir, Duncan, Ali, and the whole motley crew because "they were supposed to be friends." Devon and Jakey mad and want each other out because Jakey is onto Devon and they each want TJ to themselves. And I'm over here playing Veronica Mars trying to figure out who the rat is. WHEN I SAY I CANNOT MAKE ANY OF THIS UP But if there's one thing we can all agree on is that it's time for Duncan to go lmao I am getting NO votes in the end I love it. Literally name an ally I won't kill https://twitter.com/TheMemesArchive/status/1248726674440695809?s=20

heyo so... im having a kind of upsetting realisation right now, which is that i think i'm setting myself up for a path that ends in me being a losing finalist. autumn is legit the love of my life, but rn my game is too autumn-centric, and then my information is like a one way tunnel to jake. SO i need to turn my game around, because even tho i think i can get away with my lesser game presence so far as a winner, i cant keep coasting. i think at f9 i can ramp it up, i need to use f10 to set myself up. i think adam/devon are going to be crucial to my game and my differentiation from jake. i am gonna make moves that go against his agenda, because i know i can. i have idols to force through what i want to happen, so its time i get that done. goal bootlist: duncan > augusto > tj > kendall > autumn (!!) > amir > f4: me/jake/devon/adam and i boot out whoever is the biggest jury threat

BY JOVE I HAVE DONE IT I HAVE TURNED ALL MY FEELINGS INTO MEMES!!!!!!!!! PUT LEAST TRUST WORTHY PERSON IN THE GAME? MEME HAVING TO VOTE OUT MY OLDEST TUMBLR SURVIVOR FRIEND? MEME SPILLING TO SAID TUMBLR SURVIVOR FRIEND THEY WERE GOING? MEEMEEEEEEEE PUT IN A CHAT IN ORDER TO SAVE TUMBLR SURVIVOR FRIEND AND ACTIVELY CHOOSING NOT TO SAVE HIM? MEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PERSONAL ISSUES??? MEEMEEE THAT'S RIGHT NO LONGER DO I HAVE THE CAPACITY TO CRY OR SMILE OR CRY AGAIN IT IS ALL MEMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AJKDFADFJKSFADJKSKJDSDKSFMNVNVANFKKAVNNKVN MY SANITY IS GONE AND SO IS MY FEELINGS!!!!!!!! ALL HAIL OUR DEAD SAVIOR JORDAN PINES HAILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL This confessional was brought to you by Alcohol, Alcohol giving the support your family refuses to provide for you. 

Well well well....Going from 16th place on a unanimous vote to a guaranteed spot in the final 9 feels pretty nice. I've been able to leverage my double vote as a source of trust to others, and this could be the round in which I send out Duncan from this game. So ironic that he's the one on the bottom after all this time. I feel like I'm in a strong position in this game, but I'm playing with fire: - 2 person alliance between me/Kendall - 3 person alliance between me/Amir/Augusto - 2 person alliance between me/Ali - 2 person alliance between me/Adam - 4 person alliance between me/Amir/Augusto/Autumn - 2 person alliance between me/TJ This basically leaves my options past this round to Jake or a blindside. 

oh unkie dunkie. oh unkie dunkie. everytime we play together you underestimate me, and for what. literally duncan is pulling a jordan and trying to pull in the beauties as like.. one round numbers... like did you not see with jordan that that does not work hello? the beauties have brains and can see you are just trying to pull them in for a single vote like make it make sense. so duncan is gone tonight and im at peace. and then moving forwards i want adam around for the LONG HAUL. we had a great talk today and he is so fun!! i feel bad because i lied about the idol but hopefully i'll play it in a mutually beneficial way. i think a good f3 would be me/adam/devon? so the plan is bootlist: kendall > augusto > tj > autumn (!!) > amir > f4: me/adam/devon/jake (i think?) but getting jake to vote tj will be hard. but having all three winners at f6 would be PERF for me.

ok hello confessional time, ive been trying to cut back to like 1 confessional a round to make sure i dont just ramble on and on and keep the tea as organized as possible because things switch like a dime in this game, so to start, i think last thing i mentioned was how jordan was probably going home, even though i had told him to start a campaign against duncan, which he did and then i ended up not going with it hsfkdj love my mind, the bipolar TRULY jumped out.... however hehe now that jordan is gone, and since a lot of people already wanted duncan out, that could very well be the move this round. Devon is immune which is good for him, decent for me, i did NOT want immunity this round because i had it last time and 2 in a row wouldve put a target on my back considering i still have the challenge advantage from the auction and at this point everyone knows about it, so i made a really big risk throwing this immunity because of that and also because of how the challenge was set up, where if you won a round, you have to single out 2 people to be next, which would put an unnessecary target on my back and i still am trying to recover from my dumb lie, so it's about picking and choosing your battles, and after last round where someone went home solely based on shady immunity choices, i want no part in that! I'm also ABSOLUTELY trying to get my foot in everyone's kitchens serving you rachel ray teas, so that would expose who i do and dont really trust (which is pretty much no one ahkdsf), but devon winning is ok because i think he's with me (but idk i wanna trust him/autumn but im also well aware they're both kinda running around trying to play everyone a bit, so ill keep that in mind for future rounds) and now i just have to hope im not the target this vote, but i dont think i am unless people are even better than me at being fake the only person who picked on me in the challenge was amir which he asked me beforehand and i didnt wanna win so i gave him my permission, and now that it's almost vote time, things have got a little hectic, apparently duncan is trying to go around and tell people to split the vote between the 3 beautys besides me.....BUT THEN HE'S GOING TO THE 3 BEAUTYS PROPOSING TO THEM TO VOTE WITH THEM TO TAKE OUT ME OR ALI?? Duncan, strike 1 was throwing my name out 2 rounds ago, strike 2 was lying right to my face when i asked you about it, and now this mutiny you're trying to lead is strike 3. luckily for me i stopped being petty with the beautys and we're all kinda good again at least to me, so im hoping theyre not playing me since they spilled the tea to me all individually and duncan will be the only one blindsided tonight :) (love you as a person asdfh but game wise, get outta town!) also had some calls today, apparently people are starting to see me/ali as a duo....which while i do genuinely like ali as a person and i do trust him a little more than others, that could mean trouble for me down the line so ive gotta start causing doubt with people about that somehow, also me and jake spoke for the first time on call in years and...... i wanna be able to say that went good like i was making some jokes and laughs here and there and he mentioned he was making progress on the merge idol to me which kinda caught me off guard but he says he doesnt have it so we'll see.... also he seemed a little reserved, so im either a nutjob and being paranoid for no reason, or he's still got a grudge against me and ill have to deal with that at some point. But now is not that time yet, he did confirm to me devon has told other people about his extra vote which is funny because he told me it was just me who knew and has always been saying like "our extra vote" implying it's me and him 100% in it so consider yourself CLOCKEDT on that fib sir, unless youre lying to others and telling me the truth then carry on afshdkj also everyone is kinda figuring out how autumn is in good with everyone, and while i do want to trust her, it makes me nervous how close she is to jake because if those two together come for me..... i could be oop'ing my way right to the jury ... autumn is just giving me like kim one world vibes and im not trying to be her sabrina thompson even if i can trust her. I will have to make a move against her too eventually, hopefully im just around long enough for that to happen but anywho.... hopefully duncan goes tonight, im hearing he's just been saying me to people so i play my idol WHICH AGAIN I DONT HAVE. IS THIS HOW ELIZA FELT BECAUSE I SWEAR ITS JUST A FUCKING STICK IS WHAT I HAVE AT THIS POINT ....and if anyone but duncan goes ill most likely be soon to follow

Alright, so Damage Control TJ has been doing some work. Has it been perfect? Not even close. However, I think I've made some ground. So I started by having an open conversation with Duncan/Autumn in our chat with Jordan (I already miss you being here) and then with Ali who I think all had their suspicions of me after that last tribal. Can't blame them, but I used that time to hopefully get the target away from this next round and at least get a little footing. Then, last night I had calls with Devon, Augusto, and Kendall. They all agreed that the two biggest threats in this game are Ali and Autumn, which I'm so glad people understand this. So I think I've done a decent amount to connect with those two moreso than I had before (Devon and I were always close). And then I talked to Amir today, we talked for over an hour, and I genuinely cannot believe how much on the same page that we are on. Maybe I'm just being very optimistic about the convo, but I think I have another avenue that I could easily pursue at this rate. He basically made it known that he is close to Augusto and not as much Kendall (the exact quote was "I'm being put into a trio with the other two, but I'm not close to Kendall"... so like... yeah...), but even better he suggested a group of four between me, Devon, him, and Augusto which I think makes a lot of sense. It doesn't include my closest ally of Jakey, which probably is good because it gives me a couple roads to pursue, and it allows me to go after the two people who need to go in this game between Ali and Autumn (or else they would easily be two time champs). Yes, I know Amir is a champ too, and I will do something about that a little later, but for now I think this might be a good move to work with. So after this Duncan vote, I think I can make a move against Ali/Autumn (probably Ali by the sounds of it) and have some numbers that I don't become a target. But the question lies in where these idols are and how they will affect the next round or two.

duncan is so funny thinking he is gonna pull off this 4-3-3 blindside to send me packing... like it doesn't make sense or add up KJLSADFDAS. i'm kinda getting a rush and also getting votes is very good news for me because i was one of two who hadn't got votes yet hehe.

well.. provided i live through this 4-3-3 vote i should be set to make f9!! i just want to say how much of a king amir is, i had so many preconceptions of him and im so glad i could work through them. i think i want to go to f5 with amir/adam/devon/jake... they are five people who have been straight up with me and who i feel good about having in the endgame. autumn is the literal love of my life, but from talking to adam today, its clear autumn in the endgame is like kim spradlin. legit every single person trusts her and i'd be a clown to have her at the end even tho it breaks my heart. i would like to see duncan, kendall and tj as next three boots for sure. duncan is legit trying to blindside me so he needs to go ASAP jsakdfa. next up kendall, i kinda want a beauty gone so that their group is less threatening, because if i want someone like amir in endgame, i need one of the others gone. then tj because he is a loose end to me, plus he is gonna be a jury threat i just FEEL IT in my bones. but this all relies on me getting through this vote and who knows if that is gonna happen KJSDAF

If I go tonight! It’s been fun everyone! Thanks to the hosts for having me!

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Okay quick early round confessional, I kinda am like mind jumbled right now. Ali - Autumn - Jakey Ali - Autumn - Adam Tj - Devon Me - Kendall - Augusto - (Devon??) Me - Augusto - Devon Duncan - (on his own) Everyone wants duncan out, and like even I can’t trust him. He still is being fake to my face about most game facts and alliance, but he’s someone that would go after Ali, so I don’t want him to go, but it might be better to stay the course. I love him but this is what has 2 happen and It’s another round when me kendall and Augusto survive when we weren’t even suppose to survive one. Then Kendall is still a meat shield because she will get targeted first, but I want her to stay as long as I can keep her and I’m lucky I even got to keep her this far. If duncan and Kendall are the next to go, which like I hope it’s not but this may be what happens, then at the 8 me Augusto devon, his double vote and I more person can pull a move on Ali. It’s just going to depend who people are more scared of, me or Ali

Ali is literally Going to win this game 2 idols, an idol block, adam’s loyalty, autumn’s loyalty, jakey’s loyalty, secretly a comp beast, British accent, hes so likable He has all the tools of a winner And he downplays it so hard 

I am trying so damn hard to stay alert in this game But honestly I keep feeling like Ali or autumn will strike I don’t think it’ll be this round But next round, I think I’m going to try and make a move It’s time Me Augusto devon tj and double vote or me Augusto devon kendall double vote Don’t know if I can’t trust devon and tj Well we need devon’s double vote And I need jakey to be okay with it cuz if he tips Ali off, I’m gonna go it’s risky af But like we can’t just keep letting him win so Gotta make a move I’m thinking about if it’s better to let kendall go first To help Jakey devon and tj to feel better about it and ease them into it Because Augusto can work tj, we can both work devon, and I can secretly work jakey but jakey is a control freak and might tell Ali to play the idol but I’m gonna trust him This game a is a personal prison I am in mental torment If Augusto and I do this Ali plan for the next round after duncan goes this round And it leaks, it’s over for me But people were gonna come for me anyway So we should try this round is the calm before the storm cuz everyone is doing duncan Next round W A A A A A R 

I just tried so fucking hard To get jakey on board with blindsiding Ali next round If he tells Ali to play an idol, well! Good luck Charlie (I’m Charlie) He is talking about getting everyone in the game to split the vote on me and Kendall, and then me kendal him and Augusto will vote Ali or adam. So I agreed, and went and ratted him out to adam autumn and Ali, cuz I knew they weren’t gonna agree with Duncan’s plan so it was not actually applicable, so I have no choice but keep the course, and now Ali and autumn and adam trust me more, Duncan is gonna be mad, but he played himself into a corner. He lied to me about his alliance, and has always had different motives since he asked to work with me at the start, rip king, I feel so bad cuz he’s actually a really really cool person, but he’s about to get a rude game awakening 

[simkjrs]

msa ch3 asks

Anonymous said: I love how msa Izuku comes across as an honest to god cryptid: can't see his face, absolutely the kind of person you'd find at a gas station at 3 am, doesn't want attention, most likely distant cousins with Mothman

msa au is just me fulfilling all of my ‘protagonist is a cryptid’ dreams by making msa izuku as cryptid as possible. favorite character archetype: cryptid 

Anonymous said: so the msa au is my life right now thank u for that & I just read through the update twice so thank you for that x2 and I had to go back and look for Izuku and Kirishima's deal when it came up again and realized oh hey Kirishima agreed not to try and stop Izuku from leaving after 3 minutes and they didn't put a time limit on that i wonder if that'll come up again (& then my brain jumped to Izuku using that Forever. "we had a deal" every time it comes up. he cannot be stopped bc kiri promised)

got it in one!! izuku will abuse the wording of that deal forever if he can. good eye! 

Anonymous said: relatability of msa izuku: trying, doesnt trust feds, inability to sleep, ready to jump out 4th story window at a moments notice, anti-attention-

that’s msa izuku living the cryptid life of his dreams

Anonymous said: So wait you don't have to answer this if it's a spoiler but the collarbone blood tattoo™ is what's making deku's existence confusing to electronics, maybe?

yep, you got it! normally izuku is able to keep his presence from overtly affecting the electronics around him but scripting really starts messing with them. 

Anonymous said: quirkless msa deku anon and can i just say that deku looking eraserhead straight in the eye with lie detector policeman there and him saying "i don't have a quirk" and said policeman not detecting a lie is arguably the best thing i have thought of today.

tsukauchi:  tsukauchi: wh  tsukuachi: how did you even do all of [gestures at ch2 events] that without a quirk?  izuku: it’s a special talent of mine.

Anonymous said: I just read chapter 3 and oh my god oh my god oh my god. Your Izuku is who i aspire to be 24:7. Like everything he says makes me want to cry and laugh at the same time. You did good. <3

haha we are all aspiring to izuku’s levels of impromptu sass. im glad you liked the new chapter! 

Anonymous said: I'm probs rlly late cuz I Love in GMT+1 which means 9 HOURS of difference but I love your writing. Man, dude, being from beyond time and space, you always manage to create the perfect harmony between comedy and suspense that has you giggling while trying to figure out the mysteries of the universe. Just. OH BOI.

this ask is so funny and sweet at the same time. i love you 

@arinrowan said: it's kind of ironic that msa!izuku is exactly the kind of person who would benefit from friendship with/interacting with canon izuku.

msa izuku would benefit from friendship in general but you’re right. he needs the kind of quiet but aggressive support that canon izuku gives 

Anonymous said: Cuz I'm trying to see if I can figure this out, by "told me about Kamino Ward", does that mean that Izuku tipped kirishima that that was where bakugou was? How did he know tho, did baku's spirit go to him and tell him that? Did izuku actually play a part in the rescue???? So many questions

THE ANSWER TO ALL OF THESE... [spoiler alert] is actually ‘yes.’ more soon...

Anonymous said: when they start asking questions abt kamino ward at some point he just gets fed up and says "I JUST DID IT BECAUSE THE GODDAMN CAT WOULDNT LEAVE ME ALONE. I DONT EVEN LIKE BAKUGOU" and the heroes are like :0? what if, we brought bakugou here?

izuku doesn’t even acknowledge that the kamino ward incident happens it’s like theyre just talking to a brick wall 

Anonymous said: Izuku has no control over his own sass anymore and it's glorious?? Says "that'll be 500 yen" and looks surprised at himslef, says "now it's 600 yen" and looks downright mortified, the sass is too much for his smol body, sassmaster izuku ftw

to quote @salvainterra, “i love the fact that izuku never stops even when he himself thinks he should stop.” izuku listens to every nonviolent intrusive thought that crosses his mind and it both incredible and unfortunate. izuku is no longer bound by human limits 

Anonymous said: msa izuku is the living embodiment of the "fuck this shit im out" song

ABSOLUTELY

Anonymous said: tbh when msa chapter 3 said that izuku slept 12 hours at nighteye's office, i was guessing that he would just passive aggressively sleep as much as possible for as long as they had him. won't give them the satisfaction of watching him wander around in his holding cell. hes in the middle of the interrogation and he puts his head down and goes to sleep (btw love your work!)

haha no he was just so exhausted he passed out for 12 hours. he hasn’t had a good nights sleep in weeks, as soon as all [gestures at ch2] this was over he just crashed 

Anonymous said: Wow the new chapter is great!! Stellar as always. I can't help but imagine what's going on from Izuku's point of view with the spirits. Am I the only one who thinks Aizawa's spirit was trying to apologize or something when Izuku talked about not being forced into anything?

there was definitely some spirit stuff happening... i will say that aizawa’s fox spirit is the one who asked/persuaded izuku to tell aizawa what was Up with his quirk 

Anonymous said: tbh i want to see them question izuku with a lie-detector quirk or something. like he'll say something positively ridiculous and everyone's gonna go "wait wtf he's telling the truth??!!?!!?!?!?!?"

hoho... well... buddy im not gonna say anything... 

Anonymous said: Hello! I found your works recently and have an insane amount of time in the past few days going through it all, cause is all beautiful. I want to scream at you about all of them but you only get so many words with this so I'll focus on msa rn and I read chapter 3 of msa last night and since then I've been switching laughing at Izuku's sass, crying cause Izuku has so much angst involved him and I just wanna hug him, and screaming cause whAT WAS THAT CLIFFHANGER?!! Just what. Thanks for ur works-A

THANKS, thats the kind of reaction i aim for when i write something. im super happy you liked it!! <3 

Anonymous said: Technically his quirk is "Being alive" or "Having a functioning body" but saying that would probably end with the same blank stares. As a side note, in the manga (and canon in general) they mentioned quirks are activated by the 'quirk factor energy' or whatever... Do you think that might mean that people who are quirkless just don't naturally have enough quirk energy to activate their latent quirks? it would also make some sense from an evolutionary standpoint, the glowing baby is from the first

generation that had enough of the qfe to actually manifest their quirk and after that generation the lowering number of quirkless could be attributed to those that have a deficit in the production of said energy and they might actually have latent quirks. The pinky toe missing could be the final mutation that causes them to have enough energy for their quirks to work.. The only issue with the theory I see is OFA not awakening latent quirks with it's energy jumpstart...

i think that’s a pretty good theory! it lines up pretty well w/ the worldbuilding in msa. as for afo, :3c

Anonymous said: Hey uh.. I know this is probably 100% non canon in your AU but I was re-reading your MSA fic and I misread something that made me think that Izuku is actually dead and his body is actually being run by his guardian spirit who possessed his body/took his place when he died... *sweats* Its a really weird.. dark idea but I thought it was sorta cool and you might like it..? um.. I'll just let myself out now

god yeah that would be so dark and everything in msa would actually be even worse than it was before 

Anonymous said: When deku explains nighteye's quirk i can only think of that's so raven.

theyre valid questions... 

Anonymous said: I spent my break reading the asks sent to you RE: chapter 3 of msa and I cannot stop fucking laughing over "look eraserhead dead in the eyes and tell him you don't have a quirk" thank GOD I'm supposed to be happy and smiley to everyone

honestly, this is conceptually such a powerful moment that i can’t not put it in the fic now 

Anonymous said: msa izuka finally get set free but kiri has started following him around. States its official hero business but really just wants to see what other "cool shit" izuka will do.

izuku pulls an Official Cryptid Move (tm) and disappears while walking thru a liminal space 

Anonymous said: i love that when aizawa starts asking about deku's quirk he's like, 'screw this i'm answering in riddles now'. this is such a great fic!!

Anonymous said: “It’s a secret,” he says. “A secret that no one knows, that one will suffer, and one-half loathes. Who knows if it’s true or not? The only thing we can confidently say is that it’s one thing that should not be.” Okay, so this is probably one of my favourite little scenes from your fic, partially because it sounds so ominous and badass and makes pretty much no sense. I loved your update, I was so tense the entire time I was reading it, but also giggling hysterically because /Izuku/ just - Izukus

hmm i sure do wonder where izuku got that riddle from... and what it means... 

this riddle is just izuku complaining about everything because as long as he’s in this situation, he might as well make it perfectly clear how unhappy he is about EVERYTHING. when else is he going to have an audience for him complaining about his various maladies 

Anonymous said: I think that a part thats particularly true to izuku's character is when kirishima makes the observation "damn maybe it IS good we arrested him so he can sleep" & izuku goes into a miniature coma for 12 hours bc being arrested presented the perfect opportunity for him to finally be able to sleep

nfdfsljndslfnjdf YEAH, everyone please stop this child it’s for his own good 

Anonymous said: Reading know what i've made by the marks on my hands is really terrifying when not in Izuku's pov because you now know how scary?? it is for some other characters and Izuku looks crazy-- but you know he's not because cheesus???? This kid???????? Honestly I love it so much, thanks for your amazing writing and I want you to know that I enjoy it a LOT.

that’s the goal... showing how weird and strange and bizarre izuku is from everyone else’s point of view... i loved the outside pov bc i got the chance to show how much of a cryptid izuku is, something that izuku himself isn’t even aware of and thus would not make it into his pov

Anonymous said: anon who ((still)) hasn't read bnha here. chapter 3 of msa is amazing. i cannot get over the sheer amount of sass found in such a smol boy. also kirishima is quickly becoming my favorite character because of how supportive and caring he is. kirishima/deku is apparently now something to add to my armada of ships. for that i thank you. also i cannot wait for deku to meet spirit!one for all. it will either be glorious or horrible.

haha im always happy to introduce someone to the wonders of kiri/deku!! its an extremely good friendship... and in my professional opinion everyone should get on it and make it the Hot New Thing. as for ofa, ;3c

Anonymous said: I just thought of this but during Aizawa's interrogation I could totally see his spirit just blatantly looking away from Izuku while Aizawa is asking about his benefactor.

HAHA YUP, i love izuku saying all kinds of stuff about spirits and no one can make any sense of it and meanwhile the spirits are trying to tell him to stop. but izuku cannot and will not be stopped from passive aggressively vaguing about them. he WILL get his complaints in if its the last thing he does 

Anonymous said: “I just fixed your entire Quirk, you cabbage.” I'm sorry but this. This is beautiful. I'M GOING TO GO AROUND CALLING PEOPLE CABBAGE NOW

i was worried it was a bit of an overused classic internet insult but this is reassuring :p 

Anonymous said: every word that comes out of MSA Izuku's mouth is a blessing

but not to our three heroes and their intrepid intern sidekick... 

Anonymous said: Shit after the msa chapter i've got so many questions about Kamino. Did the rescue occur the same with minor variations? Is AfO still down? Did All Might fckin die? Has OfA been passed down yet? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

im uncreative and unoriginal with canon events so we’ll see.... we’ll see. 

Anonymous said: MSA CHAPTER 4! I just found it today and I'm already rereading it. I did not know how much I needed sassy dead inside izuku. I Love this fic so much! That cliff hanger was so good! I'm so exciting to see more of izuku's pov. I love kiri but like I can't get enough of this izuku and his thoughts and reactions to things. This is so well written. The pacing in chapter 2 was so good. It felt like a heist and then keeping the readers guessing with not knowing if he was gonna get away was so good!

thank you so much!! im really glad you enjoyed the story that much <3 <3 sassy izuku is a pleasure to write honestly, can’t wait to see him more in future chapters 

Anonymous said: Ohhhhhh you should update msa! It's so unbelievably good! I love the interaction between kirishima and izuku! Like I'm so excited to learn more about kamino ward and how that's gonna affect izuku going free and keeping his identy safe

:3c 

Anonymous said: In chalter 2 of the msa au, did Kirishima think anything about how Deku said "I swear to every spirit I know"?

he dismissed it as a kind of weird, niche turn of phrase. like oh, guess this guy believes in spirits and junk, but im more worried about literally every other weird thing he’s done today 

Anonymous said: So does MSA!Izuku always mess with attempts to record his presence? I feel like this would be kind of a major problem when it comes to getting himself a school ID or the like. (He's going to school somewhere, so he must have a school ID stashed somewhere). You know, they could potentially use this to track his identity down. They can try contacting schools to see if any had issues with one student needing to have an excessive number of photo retakes.

nope, usually izuku can keep it under control! the blood sigil on his collarbone is what really let him passively affect the electronics.

Anonymous said: Ok so msa!Izuku says "he shouldn't" exists, and when I first read that I was really confused, do you mean he shouldn't exist in the way that he sees things he shouldn't, or that he literally should not exists and Inko has no freaking clue where he came from/he was not a planned child?

yes to the first proposal. other than that, spoilers...