#YES I have complaints about the state of the fandom too but the fucking head cannons tag is NOT the place to air them

[favoritespambot]

Tag your discourse tag your meta tag your wank tag your squick plz plz just tag when you’re talking ABOUT your fandom as something other than #yourfandom oh my goodness when I’m looking through the fandom tags I really appreciate your opinion I do, but if I wanted to see it right that moment I’d look in the “my opinions about ‘the fandom’” tags please PLEASE tag your discourse because that’s NOT what the general populace is following your fandom’s tag for

[chil2de]

hi yes the benimaru fic i mentioned earlier— fire force fandom will you let me in please??🥺🥺 i don’t know what i’m dealing with fanbase wise mmfldjfj sometimes it feels like i’m head over heels for bens by myself so... i’ll drop this here for now.. see how it goes and i’ll continue w/ a second part if ff isn’t dead

nsfw themes throughout, so please read my disclaimer if you’re new. enjoy :)

w.c: 1.7k, characters: 9.6k (incl spaces)

-

there’s a certain sluggish quality that plagues your movements. it’s not fatigue or incompetence. or so benimaru would hope.

his mix matched gaze glosses over your unnecessary movements. that extra exhale you hiss, the additional bat of your eyelashes and the excessive perspiration that drips onto the earth below.

“stop.” he commands, tone low and stern as it pierces through the open air.

“huh? captain shinmon, i’m fine. we can keep going.” you huff through laboured breaths, pausing to gasp and drink in the plentiful oxygen around you.

“it’s one thing if you’re overworking your muscles. it’s another if you’re running a fever. go inside.”

“b-but captain-“

benimaru shoots you a dead stare, keeping his statement rooted deep where he stands.

judging by the bruises that adorn your knees, you know better than to disobey the captain.

“waka! have you seen (l/n)?” konro lingers in the doorframe of the main communal area, gaze scanning for one of his colleagues.

“she’s in her room. why?”

“her room? she has a few errands to run. is she feeling okay?”

“she’s running a fever.” benimaru exhales, shifting to get up from the table. he lightly scratches the back of his neck, adorning that usual aloof facial expression.

“in the middle of summer? how’d that happen?” konro chuckles through a small glimpse of bewilderment. of course he’d be concerned for one of his best recruits.

“hell if i know. what do we need? i’ll head out.”

if anything, benimaru is probably the sole reason why you’re running a fever. why he subjected to railing you underneath water that felt like it was nearing sub-zero was beyond you. it’s not like he’s about to admit he enjoys fucking his special little fire soldier. how he relishes and engrains the sight of your fucked out facial expression deep into his head, burning the image into his retinas. shit, you wouldn’t be surprised if the reason why he sometimes spaces out is because of you.

it’s always been blatantly obvious that you’re the captain’s favourite, no matter how much he denies it and how many glares he shoots at the people from other companies. you’re always left apologising for his behaviour, attempting to keep a straight face.

for the one time you dragged him out to patrol with you, and the amount of incessant whining, complaints and bribes you offered your captain, after a full month of lovely slow burn he decided to come along with you. he just up and left, had the audacity to turn around and ask you why you’re still standing there. benimaru always kept his distance to yours close, in fact the separation was almost minimal. you could feel his shoulders ghost over you.

every time he noticed someone staring at your figure for a little bit too long to be deemed appropriate, he hissed a scoff of distaste. at around the third or fourth person, you were already forced to deal with his short temper.

“what the hell are you gawking at? mind your damn business.”

but sure. apparently you’re not his favourite.

he can scoff and complain all he wants, but that won’t stop him even now from lazily snaking his hand around to his favourite baby girl’s waist. to him, this seems like the most normal thing.

“how else is she going to stand upright? she’s all stick and bones, the wind will knock her right over.”

okay, benimaru. you keep telling yourself that. even when his fingers feel an itch every time they’re not touching a part of your skin. he tends to get a whole lot more mouthy and irritable every time you’re not around, too.

hell, even his own townsfolk pick up on the fact that he’s out and about more. rounds that he always left to the lesser important underlings became more commonplace, especially with you by his side.

but the things that go on behind closed doors?

his peppermint red eyes that haunt your mind, infiltrating your very thoughts. you could be minding your business, going on about your day until you get an abrupt flicker of his mundane tic-tac-toe gaze staring up at you from in between your thighs.

you could be taking care of hinata and hikage, entertaining their antics when you feel the weight of benimaru’s stare burn holes into your uniform.

you could be doing your daily sparring with the captain. in the zone, breath held and blood stream steady until you remember the feel of his hot tongue trailing along the side of your neck. for someone who seems to be stuck in a perpetual state of sadness, you always catch the arrogant smirk that pulls at his lips.

“thinking of something?” he’ll cock his eyebrows, using the distraction to take a jab to your gut.

you groan, stirring around in your bed. you hate him, hate that stupid half lidded gaze of his. you hate how soft his wavy jet black locks are. the way the strands tug and bend whenever you try to yank his face away from your cunt. you run your fingers through your hair in a valiant yet futile attempt to free your thoughts from your captain. it’s only three o’clock in the afternoon, and you haven’t done anything but reminisce about your lover for the past hour and a half.

a meek and uneven sigh hisses from your lips. your eyes screw open and you flinch at the hard sunlight that pours in from the window. as you use the inner portion of your elbow to shield your gaze, you catch glimpse of a very familiar figure in the doorway.

“captain shinmon?” you inquire, propping yourself up onto your elbows. he closes the door behind him. you’re certain that you looked like a loyal dog sat panting and wagging its tail upon discovering the return of their owner.

“excited to see me?” he remarks in a flat tone, opening the grocery bag he’s carrying before setting a few things down onto your nightstand. it’s mostly medicine, though he snags a few of your favourite snacks and drinks. there’s also one of those fascinating green tea bottles that you buy at the vending machines, except they’re served piping hot.

“how’re you feeling?”

“i told you i was going to get sick if we had the water that cold.” you huff, averting your gaze in a fit.

“not my problem you can’t take a little temperature difference”

“a little? that shit was freezing! how the hell can you take water that cold?”

“how can you not?”

you chuckle a little, shifting to stare up at the ceiling.

“don’t you have paperwork to do?”

“you know i don’t do paperwork. sure as hell not gonna start doing it now.” benimaru huffs, kicking his boots off by the door. you can hear his clothes rustling and your head snaps to face him. he shoots you a glare, as though to scold you. it’s dripping on his face. ‘really? you’re so eager.’

“move up.” he cocks his head to the side, motioning for you to move over. you shift up, room spinning a little too much for your tastes. the mattress dips with his weight and his right arm (our left) reflexively hangs in the air for you to dip your head into the crook of where his shoulder and collarbone meet. he discards his navy kimono, the article of clothing hangs on one of the hooks at the back of your door. it’s probably not much comfort for him to be relaxing in a bed with half of his uniform still on.

you squish your face against his hard chest, head rising and falling in time with his breathing. the said arm relaxes and his hand rests against your shoulder. subsequently, you realise this is the first time you’ve seen him fully without his kimono on. at the very least, he’d still have the other sleeve on.

benimaru notices your blatant staring at his other arm. he can’t comprehend why you’d gawk at it now, since he’s used it plenty of times to choke you.

he hums a small ‘hm’ in question, asking you what you’re so fascinated about. you can feel his voice thrum and rock against his chest, it sends small shivers licking your body that he doesn’t miss.

“you look so funny without your kimono on. why don’t you wear it like this more often?” you drag your nails softly against his biceps. there’s a small groan that hisses from him. as you await his response, you outline a large vein that runs from his upper arm and trails down all the way to his wrist.

“i get cold easily.”

“then why did you take a shower with me?”

“are you hearing yourself?”

surely a little bit of his body temperature was enough to sacrifice. even if it meant he was sneezing a little bit and shivering afterwards.

“seriously? you can take a tranquiliser but you can’t stand a little cold?”

“you’ll make a shitty wife if you can’t even keep me warm.”

“beni!” you hiss at benimaru in appaul, craning your face up to guffaw at him. the manners on him sometimes are despicable.

you pout, shifting your upper weight to flick benimaru in between his eyebrows. he screws his face in mutiny, lips curled into a scowl.

you and him both know that if it were anyone else flicking him like that, they’d be sent crashing through six different blocks of houses down the street.

“oi.” he warns you, tutting.

“konro come by and work some voodoo magic bullshit on you? ‘cause you’re testing your luck by pissing me off. you’re such a menace when you’re sick, it’s unbelievable.”

you hum in awe, inching your face closer towards his. there’s a wave of mockery that paints your face green and you can only laugh at the unrest that swirls in benimaru’s eyes.

he won’t have his pet talking down to him like that. no, no. that just won’t do.

“oh? really? you want me to do it again?” you flash him a cocky smirk, digits curled into a flicking position. you rest the bridge of your middle finger against benimaru’s forehead, slicking some of his charcoal stained locks out the way.

his left hand flies to catch your hand in an instant. with just two of his fingers, he can wrap himself around your wrist. his touch is assertive, firm. he can drag you the fuck away from him as he pleases, but there’s no real malice or force behind him just yet.

“yeah? try me.” he barks, peering down at you through his lashes.

you just might.

[dem-obscure-imagines]

Try

Warren Worthington III x Reader

Fandom: Marvel/X-Men

Summary: Warren has been through hell and then some, but will meeting his soulmate turn that around?

Note: That’s right, it’s ya girl, back on my BS. I watched Apocalypse again and BIG SURPRISE, I’m in love with Warren and Kurt all over again. Still hyperfixating on Pietro also, so…expect more fics for him as well. Anyway, I’m a ho for soulmate aus and I haven’t written one for birb boi in literal years, so here ya go.

Reader is: Gender Neutral

Warnings: swears, mentions of alcohol

Word Count: 2.8k

Warren knew one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt: he didn’t deserve a soulmate. He didn’t. There was no question in his mind. Anyone who was destined to end up with his winged, alcoholic ass had been fucked over by the universe. No one deserved to be stuck with him for the rest of their lives. And yet, these thoughts didn’t seem to erase the words written on his forearm:

Hey, um, you’re Warren, right? The Professor wanted me to talk to you.

Professor. He scoffed. He was never going to college. If his parents had gotten their way, their son “cured” of his wings, he would have ended up at Harvard or Yale or somewhere similar. But it was far too late for that. Sitting in a cage in the back room of an illegal underground mutant fighting club in Berlin…it was far too late for that. He’d probably die before he met his soulmate anyway, rendering the prophecy on his wrist—and theirs, for that matter—useless. A waste of space.

That was all he was anyway.

He spiraled. His dependence on vodka got worse. The fights got harder. He wasn’t making it out unscathed anymore, winding up with burns and scrapes and cuts, depending on what kind of mutant he was up against. One night, one of his cuts had gotten dangerously close to the writing on his wrist. He stared at it for a long time, tears burning his eyeballs until they escaped and dripped down his cheeks, angry and hot.

He hated it, but even after everything, he still had hope. He still had hope that things would get better; that he could be better, even if it seemed impossible.

And then it got…worse.

Apocalypse had come, turned his wings to metal, tuned into his anger, his rage at the world, turned him into a monster, complete with knives for feathers and winding tattoos framing his face. He wished he could blame it on mind control or something, but Apocalypse hadn’t brainwashed him, only used his anger against him. Turned him into a weapon.

And then everything went black.

When he woke up after the battle, he was in an unfamiliar room, large and white and sterile; it smelled like hand sanitizer. He heard the steady beeping of a heart monitor and when he sat up, he noticed how sore he was. His whole body hurt. His head spun. But he was alive. And when he looked down at his tattoo, the words were still there. Wherever his soulmate was, they were fine. His stupidity in joining Apocalypse hadn’t caused anything to happen to them.

For the first time in what felt like years, he breathed.

“You’re awake.” A voice said as a tall man with brown hair entered his room. “I’ll let the Professor know.”

“Where…” his deep voice rasped and the man pointed to a glass of water sitting on the table adjacent to the cot he was situated in. He picked it up and took a few long, greedy sips, not realizing just how thirsty he was until the cool drink hit his tongue. “Where am I? What is this place?”

“This is the infirmary at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters.” The man told him, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. “You’re safe here.”

Warren nodded hesitantly, but didn’t say anything else. Safe. The word was almost a myth to him at this point. But at least he felt like he could rest for a little while.

***

It had been a few weeks since Apocalypse and his horsemen had almost ended the world. Erik had decided to stick around, and two of the younger horsemen, Storm and “the Angel of Death,” respectively, had been absorbed into the school’s student body. You didn’t know the Angel’s name. No one really talked to him, not even Ororo, Storm, who had been quickly adopted by your friend group.

Supposedly, Peter had tried to talk to the Angel guy, but he didn’t say anything to him. Ororo theorized he probably felt guilty about the whole thing. She did. But you all knew she didn’t know what Apocalypse was really trying to do. He probably hadn’t either, but that didn’t seem to keep the grim expression off of his face.

It was on a nice, sunny day that Xavier called you into his office, and you went down without complaint, knocking on the door a few times before he called you inside. You sat in the chair across from his desk.

“Hi, Professor. What’s going on?” You asked.

“Ah, yes. Just the empath and healer I wanted to see.” He smiled brightly. “(Y/N), if you don’t mind it too terribly, I have a small job for you.”

“Of course! What do you need?”

“I’m sure you’ve seen our newest pupil, Warren, around.”

You thought for a moment. “The, uh, guy with the wings? The big metal ones?”

“Precisely.” He nodded. “Warren…he’s been having quite a hard time adjusting.”

“I’ve noticed.”

“He came to me yesterday discussing…well, quite simply, he was wondering if any of our mutants here would be capable of…reverting him to his previous state. His wings, before Apocalypse, were made of feathers. They’ve been serving as quite a reminder to him and it’s been weighing pretty heavily on him, both literally and emotionally.”

“Yeah, I’ve, uh, caught his vibes from across campus.” You nodded. “It’s like there’s always a rain cloud hanging over his head.”

“Yes,” Xavier agreed. “It doesn’t have to be right away, but at your nearest convenience, if you see him around, would you talk to him? Tell him I sent you?”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll see what I can do.” You promised him.

As an empath and a healer, your first priority was helping others. And even if he was known to be a bit intimidating, you wanted to help him if you could.

So, you walked out of Xavier’s office, attended your final class of the day, and when it was over, you wandered out into the courtyard where, because of the nice weather, students were everywhere. And luckily for you, just as you suspected he might be, Warren was sitting under a tree, still sporting his leather jacket despite the warm weather.

You shielded your eyes from the sun and walked over towards him, your heart racing as you built up the courage to talk to him. So, you took a breath and said, “Hey, um, you’re Warren, right? The Professor wanted me to talk to you.”

He stared up at you for a long moment, his green eyes wide in shock. He took a breath, blinked a few times, glanced down at his wrist, and then back up at you. You could have sworn you saw tears beginning to form along his waterline, and you didn’t realize why until he said, “You’re my…No…Oh my God…I’m…I’m so sorry.”

You froze, your knees going weak. You glanced down at your bare forearm and read over the words he’d just said, exactly the way he’d just said them.

You’re my…No…Oh my God…I’m…I’m so sorry.

“Why are you sorry?” You whispered, lowering yourself onto the grass beside him, not trusting your legs to support your weight for much longer. Now you were the one with tears in your eyes. “Don’t be sorry.”

“You deserve so much more than me.” He insisted, his eyes locked on his boots, unwilling and unable to meet your gaze. “I can’t drag you into…this. Me.”

His emotions were heavy, a bleak blue and gray haze and you felt it radiate off of him in waves. His pain, his everything. And you felt it, deep within his chest. He thought you wouldn’t want him anyway.

“Warren…” You shook your head. “Why…Why would you think I don’t want you?”

He was shocked into silence for a few seconds, thinking over his words carefully, his jaw tense and hands shaking. “You’re a telepath?”

“Empath.” You corrected quietly. “And…a healer. Which is why Xavier sent me.”

“Oh. Right.” He swallowed thickly, nodding. “Did he…tell you why?”

“He did.” You smiled softly. “And I’m willing to try if you are.”

Finally, his eyes met yours and he could tell that you meant more than just the healing when you said it. The weak little voice in the back of his head was screaming for him to push you away like he pushed away everyone else, but looking into your eyes, a genuine and warm smile on your face, he just…couldn’t lose you.

He couldn’t lose anyone else.

***

Today was the day. Warren was sitting on a stool in the infirmary. Hank had run his vitals and the two of them were in the room waiting for you to come down after your class was over.

“(Y/N) is the one who saved you, you know.” Hank told Warren while he jotted down some notes.

“What?” Warren asked, snapping out of whatever daydream he had been caught up in. “What do you mean?”

“(Y/N) found you in the rubble. We didn’t think you would make it, but…they healed you. They insisted we bring you back here. Give you a chance.”

Warren was quiet for a long time, thinking about what that meant. Part of him wondered if (Y/N) had known back then that he was their soulmate, but he decided that would have been impossible with just their tattoos alone. Especially without context. They hadn’t known and yet, they’d still wanted the best for him.

“Didn’t know that.” Warren said, his voice soft and deep. He stared at the words on his wrist for a little longer, a hint of warmth swirling around in his stomach. Was this happiness? Was that what happiness felt like? He barely remembered anymore. But he knew there must have been a reason that when you walked through the door, his heart started beating a little bit faster.

“Sorry I’m so late. Professor Leaf kept us a little later than she was supposed to. Are you ready?” You asked taking off your backpack and setting it against the wall. As soon as you looked up at Warren, you felt the way his heart rate was increased and you didn’t miss the warmth swirled with the anxiousness. The anxiousness, you had expected. Even you didn’t know if you could pull off what you were going to attempt to do, but the warmth…it was a pleasant surprise.

“Don’t worry about it.” He told you, shaking his head. Was he…was he smiling? It was a small smile, sure, but you didn’t think you had ever seen him smile before. It looked good on him. “I’m ready when you are.”

“Alright.” You nodded, walking over towards him. Underneath where he was situated on a stool, Hank had laid out some pads from the training room, you assumed, to catch his metal feathers if they fell out rather than transforming back to his normal…feather feathers. None of you really knew how this would unfold. “Again, I’m not sure this will work. I don’t want to get your hopes up in case it doesn’t.”

“I’m not expecting it to.” Warren assured you, but it wasn’t in a rude way. “If it does, I’ll be pleasantly surprised. Cross my heart.” What he didn’t say was: You could never disappoint me. Not even if you tried.

“Okay.” You nodded, taking a few steps closer until you were standing right in front of him. He looked up at you and for the first time, you didn’t feel any negative emotions from him. Only anticipation and that lingering warmth. “Here goes nothing.”

You focused on the warmth in your own chest, the tingling yellow healing power that constantly swirled around your heart, and you forced it into your palms. You reached forward for his hands and he took the hint, his larger hands wrapping around yours.

Immediately, he gasped at the sensation, warm tingles running up his arms, down his spine. It stopped in the center of his back, right where his wings intersected with his body. At first, he didn’t feel anything. And then, he felt everything. The pleasant warmth flooded his metal wings, and one by one, the knife-like feathers fell out, each one landing with a thud against the mat situated underneath him.

Hank’s pencil jotted against his notebook as he took notes. He knew you were powerful, but he’d had no idea you were capable of something like this.

Neither had you.

Once the metal wings were gone, Warren felt a new sensation: another pair of wings, this one soft and familiar, slowly emerging from him. Part of him expected the process to be painful, like the one Apocalypse had forced upon him was, but it wasn’t. Warren chuckled to himself. Of course you would never hurt him. Not even unintentionally.

After a few minutes, the feathery wings had fully emerged, stretched out to his full former wingspan and he stared up at you in awe. You stopped your flow of power to him, but he held onto your hands, squeezing them to keep them in his grasp.

He looked back at his new wings, flexed them and moved them. They felt familiar, like they had always belonged to him.

“Thank you.” He said, giving your hands another squeeze, the warmth in his chest brighter and bolder than it had been before. “Thank you so much.”

“Of course.” You told him, squeezing his hands right back in a way that caused his heart to lurch. “I’m glad I could help.”

“I don’t mean to interrupt, but do you mind if I keep some of these for research?” Hank asked.

“Keep all of them, if you want. I don’t want them.” Warren told him, standing up from his stool, his hands still in yours. “So, um…do you want to go grab dinner or something?”

“Sure.” You nodded, smiling up at him. “See you later, Hank.”

“Bye, guys, have a nice night.” Hank said as you and Warren walked out of his lab. He couldn’t help but notice the way one of your hands remained in one of his as the two of you left.

***

Later that night, after dinner and after you and Warren had split for the evening, you were walking back to your room from Jean and Jubilee’s and you found Warren, lingering in his doorway, his toothbrush sticking out of his mouth. His eyes widened when he spotted you and he held up a finger, indicating you should wait for him, so you did while he went into his bathroom and rinsed out his mouth, returning a few moments later.

“Hey.” He said, the word casual as it fell from his pink lips.

“Hey yourself.” You chuckled, feeling ridiculously underdressed in your pajamas. But then again, he was wearing his pajamas, too, a large black Metallica shirt and a pair of plaid pants.

“How…how are you? Feeling?” He stumbled over his words, chuckling as he rubbed the back of his neck. You felt a wave of nervousness rush through him. “Hank said sometimes you get tired after, uh, bigger healing jobs?”

“I’m fine.” You nodded. “For whatever reason, I never get tired when I’m healing you.” You chuckled, your cheeks heating up the slightest bit. “Well…I think I know why…”

“Heh, yeah.” He nodded, mulling over his next words very carefully. “Did you, um…I don’t know how to ask this. Did you mean what you said about…trying? About us trying…this. Trying us.”

“Of course I did.” You nodded and took a few steps closer to him. “You’re my soulmate.” You reached for his hand and he gave it to you, letting you play with his fingers. You felt the way his heart fluttered when you did. “Of course I want to try.”

“I’m broken.” He told you. “I’ve never done this before. I’m…I’m a lot, and I know that.”

“Well it’s a good thing I’m a healer, huh?” You tilted your head. “And if we’re being honest, I’ve never done this before either. So how about we teach each other? Learn together?”

He smiled softly, nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s do that.”

You let go of his hand and instead took the last few steps between the two of you, wrapping your arms around his torso. He froze for a few seconds, unsure of what to do. It had been…a long time since anyone had hugged him. But after a few moments, his arms got the hint and wrapped around you, pulling you to his chest. He rested his head atop yours and exhaled a long, long breath. And for the first time since you’d met him, you felt a wave of peace wash over him, encasing him entirely as his wings gently cocooned you in their warmth.

You felt his lips brush against your temple, pressing a soft kiss there. You looked up at him and his eyes met yours before fluttering shut as he leaned in to press his lips to yours.

[ikleesfiction]

I'm a fucking alcoholic (with a sweet tooth)

Fandom : Chicago PD TV Word count : 1,623 words Pairing : Jay Halstead x reader Author's note : This is the third one shot of "Will you follow through if I fall for you" fic continuation. It would be better if you read it first. But if you don't, here's the quick summary. Warning : It's fluff. I hope it doesn't end up too cringy?

Disclaimer

◢◤

It is a cold Friday in Chicago. You would say it is super cold since you worked in the warm weather of Los Angeles last week. Jay is coming over to your place after work. Now both of you are snuggling on the couch, watching movies on TV.

"I cannot watch this part," You hide your face in Jay's chest, preparing for the frightening scene. The darkness in the room increases the tension.

"What are you talking about? This is not even a horror movie," Jay looks down at you, bemused.

"Say you! Watching Tom Cruise blowing up a Gallardo distressed me. My soul is crying. It is a nightmare!"

You move out from Jay's embrace to point out the screen where Maggie Q said it is such a nice car. "Yes, it is! Don't do it, Zhen," yell you at the TV.

However, The Lamborghini on screen still went kaboom and was engulfed in fire. "Oh, no!" You put your hand on your heart, feeling devastated.

Jay grins at your silliness, "I'm sorry for your loss," He rubs your back, offering his condolences. However, his smile turns flirty. "If there's anything I can do to ease your pain..."

You play along with his idea. "Hmm, is that so?" Your hands wrap around Jay, pulling him closer. Your nose is tracing his neck, up to his jaw, his cheek. Your lips softly grace his skin, make their way closer to his. Jay wasted no time to kiss you and keep kissing you.

You don't know how long it goes, and you don't care to know. Until Jay moves back abruptly, tilting his head away from you, "Your pho..."

Your lips cut his words as you get on his lap. Jay puts his hands on your waist to stop you, halfheartedly, "Babe, your phone is ringing,"

Your hands curl behind his neck. "Let it ring." You whisper to his ear. Jay shudders when he feels your breath on his neck. Your mouth soon follows to make a mark on the same point. Jay tries to hold himself back from reciprocating the gesture.

Unlike Jay and his work, you got no obligation to pick up your phone. No life or death depends on you tonight. But the phone keeps shrieking. It started to annoy you because Jay stops participating in this make-out session.

"Might be important," This is one of the rare times you want to curse Jay's occupation.

"I assure you it won't be," You try to get Jay back in the game.

"Well, at least you can tell them to call you back later," Jay lands a soft kiss on your forehead. With a loud sigh, you move away from Jay's lap to pick up your phone.

Seeing the caller ID frustrates you even further. "You are interrupting our date night," is the first thing you say to your best friend, Alex, when you receive the call and put it on speaker.

"Hi, Jay!" Alex chirps his greeting, ignoring your complaint.

Jay greets back with a chuckle, "Hey, man. Nice to hear from you," He takes the remote to pause the movie, where Tom Cruise is gunning a Mercedes CLK down the road.

"No, it's not." You grumble under your breath. "What's up? Did you just come up with a song idea that would make Bruno Mars wished he wrote it?"

As a fellow songwriter/producer, you understand that song inspiration could come anytime. But it would still piss you off if Alex insists on working for it tonight.

"Not yet. But we do have a potential project for you,"

"Couldn't it wait until next week?" You moan your refusal. "Jay and I got plans for the weekend,"

"Of course. As long as you promise to pick up your phone when Angelique calls. I know you have been dodging her." Alex chides you.

Huffing your aversion, you lay your head on Jay's lap. In reflex, he plays with your hair. "Who's Angelique? A new talent?" Jay never heard that name before. He is pretty sure that he knows everybody at Pyramid, Alex's record label in Amsterdam where you work for.

Alex starts to explain, "She is a singer. Been around for a while,"

"Country singer, turned bubblegum pop singer, and now I guess she wants to try dance music as well?" You elaborate to Jay and asking Alex at the same time. You have written and produced songs from various genres, but your notable works so far are mostly EDM.

"Maybe," Alex answers casually.

"Angelique..." Jay ponders for a moment before lighting up, "Oh! Is she the one whose songs you keep skipping whenever they pop up, babe?"

Your best friend lets out a big laugh from the other side of the phone. "Angelique wants Y/N to produce her next album, but all of a sudden Y/N here cannot find the receive button on her phone," Alex emphasizes his sarcasm.

"I took yours, didn't I?"

However, Alex begins his interrogation. "Why are you avoiding her calls anyway?"

"I don't wanna work with her," You know you sound petulant.

"Come on, Y/N, it would be great! Angelique's third album sold triple more than her second. Her last single went neck to neck with Taylor Swift's song. Now, she is gonna let you work on her fourth album! Other producers would kill for this opportunity," Alex tries to reason.

Jay whistles, being impressed by the story.

"Well, my boyfriend here is a cop. I don't wanna get involved in any criminal activity," You are intentionally being obtuse. "If it were so great, why don't you do it? You're the one who still works on stage."

"You know people talked about how you could be the next Max Martin, right? Made sense that she asked for you," Alex states. "Angelique doesn't need another artist to perform with her. She needs someone who writes and produces good stuff."

"Every producer could be the next Max Martin if they work hard," You shrug the notion.

Jay looks confused with all these new names. "And Max Martin is...?"

"We are never ever ever getting back together?" Alex starts singing a couple bars to show Jay some examples of Max Martin's works.

"Uh..." Jay doesn't show any recognition.

"ou make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream?" Alex sings another song. Your best friend is nothing but persistent.

"Uhm.." And yet, Jay is still clueless.

"Jay is not keeping up with pop music for the last decade, Lex," You joke to your best friend. "Try some songs from the Backstreet Boys,"

"Hey!" Jay protests. "I know your songs," He smirks at you in full smug. "Especially the ones that were written about me."

You laugh at his adorable and sexy smirk. Sitting up from Jay's lap, you kiss the smug out of him.

"Guys, I'm still here." The flat tone of Alex on the phone stops Jay from taking the kiss further.

You peck a corner of Jay's lips one more time. "Your own fault. Who told you to call during our date night anyway?"

"Since I'm not there to poke and pinch you, I hope Jay could help me convince you to take this project." Your best friend is shameless.

"Is Angelique not a good person or something?" Jay tries to understand the situation. He knows you are a hard worker. It is rare for you to run off from a big project like this. "She ought to be a good singer, right? With all of that achievements,"

You cross your arms and glare at your boyfriend, "It is a prerogative to hate your best friend's exes, no?"

Jay frowns, "Wait, Angelique is Alex's ex?"

"Oh, come on!" groans Alex. "It was years ago!"

"You know how the saying goes. Quote-unquote, "You are my friend. She is your ex. You get to forgive and move on. I get to hold a grudge until I die”

"That was kinda harsh," Jay comments.

"Your best friend still hates me until now, Jay." You roll your eyes at your boyfriend.

"Mouse doesn't hate you. I even haven't got a chance to tell him about you since he's been deployed," Jay raises his eyebrows.

"She meant your work partner," Alex answers Jay for you.

Jay frowns deeper, "Hailey doesn't hate you."

"Wanna bet on that?" You challenge him.

Alex prevents the couple from bickering further, "Guys, listen! Angelique and I broke up amicably. There were no hard feelings between us now,"

"Excuse you!" You exclaim. "I still remember those dark days. You cried over so many Tequila bottles. And those boxes of chocolate!! Why did we have to consume that much chocolate over a breakup?? My waistline did not come back to its original measurement for three months!!"

Jay lets out an amused snort.

"Oh, you don't get to talk, man!" Alex hits the couple back. "Your temporary breakup also forced me to replenish my Jenever stocks! I got bakeries phone numbers on speed dial for chocolate cake emergencies!"

Jay puts his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay. You guys continue to discuss business," He stands up from the couch. "I'm gonna go warm up some pie," Jay gestures to the kitchen area. "Alex, it's nice to catch up with you. Hope the next time we talk, it would be more social and less about business,"

"And you, love, try to listen to what Alex offers first before you cut him off," Jay bends down to kiss your lips teasingly. "Please don't pull out any bottles with more than 40% alcohol content. I need you sober for our plans tonight." He winks at you before moving to the kitchen, leaving you to deal with your pushy best friend alone.

+x Taglist +x

@lorenakaspersen @life-treatments @itsdesiree86

Foot Note: - Tom Cruise and Maggie Q blew up a Lamborghini Gallardo in Mission: Impossible III (2006). All of the MI movies are classics in my household. - Max Martin is a Swedish record producer, songwriter. You might not know his name, but I'm sure you know his songs. In reference to this fic, he co-wrote and co-produced Taylor Swift's "We are never ever ever getting back together", co-wrote Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream", co-wrote and co-produced some of Backstreet Boys' biggest hits. - "You are my friend. She is your ex. You get to forgive and move on. I get to hold a grudge until I die" line is taken from Henrietta Wilson on 9-1-1 TV Series S02E04 "Stuck". I thought it was hilarious. The line became the reason for this particular fic's existence.

I'm sorry for the long note. Thank you for reading this fic and the note. You are so welcome to reply, ask or tag me. We can talk about music, series or Jesse Lee Soffer's abs. :p

[bubbleteaa]

Break her heart [Miya Atsumu x Reader]

Part I | Part II | Part III

break her heart;; pairing: miya atsumu x reader [college!au] fandom: haikyuu!! warnings: angst. swearing. suggestive themes word count: 3.6Kish

a/n: Istg that this was a rollercoaster, bc i love so much tsumu but samu is the superior miya ok:c sorry, i have a favourite. n weez, i’m thinking in doing a second part! Hope you enjoy this! :c sorry for the angst babies

Summary: Atsumu breaks your heart.

┅┅┅┅┅┅┅༻❁༺┅┅┅┅┅┅┅

He met you two years ago.

You were in a lot of classes with him, except for calculus. “Ah yes, L/N-san does not give calculation, because of her score on the entrance exam and in the courses before the semester began, they exempted her. She is very smart” that was what they said. And he was curious. Were you that good?

The first time he talked about you, was to demonstrate that he could have all the girls without exception at his feet.

"Atsumu, I heard they said you were a total heartbreaker," they told him exactly those words "You have all the girls behind you, right?"

"I don't pay attention to any. It is one night and that's it. If it is very good, we may become recurring, but not so far. It doesn't bother me anyway, I have plenty to choose from" Atsumu knew what he was saying and he was not lying about it, it was the mere truth. The other boys who were with him began to laugh and the blond frowned a little "What's so funny?"

"Well, you don't exactly have all the girls behind you," then one of his classmates spoke up. Miya frowned and asked who "L/N-san"

"The I-know-it-all girl?" they burst out laughing "I don't like wasting my time"

"Ah, but Y/N-chan is very cute"

"And?"

"I'm sure you couldn't make her fall for you, Miya" they replied with a smile on her face "It's impossible to have all the girls at your feet"

"Oh yeah?" the challenging tone that came out of Atsumu's mouth made the others laugh again.

"You say you can?" was what they replied, challenging Tsumu.

"Sure. It is easy."

❥•°❀°•༢

"If it's not yours, don't take it"

The flickering lights in the club seemed to smile at him. He smelled drunk and his ears were vibrating with the catchiest songs of the moment. He shifted through the crowd while holding a red glass filled to the brim with alcohol. His steps were steady but his mind was spinning. The bitter taste of the ridiculously expensive drink still stung on his tongue and his throat burned like hell. His eyes met a figure he did not distinguish, but he was sure he had seen somewhere. Without thinking, he walked towards the person, his eyelids heavy and smiling with great energy.

He had only one purpose in approaching her. He just wanted one thing.

They were at the chorus of the song when his lips connected to the girl. They tasted like mint with vodka. Her mouth cavity was cold, it tasted like sin, craving. Atsumu groaned before separating and finishing his drink, releasing the glass to continue caressing the woman. She laughed as she tangled her fingers in his dyed hair. The setter's hands were placed on the girl's hips, stamping her against the wall that was a few meters from them.

And the truth was, Atsumu did know who the girl was. She was the girlfriend of one of her teammates. He didn't even know her name, he just knew that sometimes she would send him seductive looks at college games and that she was too good to ignore her. Was what he was doing right? Of course not. Atsumu made mistakes but did not regret them. Atsumu deceived others, but it is a world where you deceive or deceive you. Sometimes you go unnoticed and other times you are the big shot. As simple as that.

In his head, he could only think of how the situation went from being cold kisses to groping to a melting ice cube for the summer. Now they were in the cubicle of the men's room. The body of the young woman stuck to him, connected by sweat, by unfaithful kisses, by flavors of whiskey with deceit. With his thoughts found in a numb state, he didn't even notice when he entered her.

I was just horny, he thought. He just wanted to satiate the horny state he was in and didn't think exactly who. Well, he did. With someone who also wanted to be with him. But that someone did not belong to him, and it was not as if he knew him, it was just a carnal deception on his part; but for the other person, it reached all kinds of state. Selfishness, hatred, jealousy. Maybe it was those emotions talking. Perhaps it was the thought that he didn't need someone else and that he had Miya wrapped around his finger.

But boy, was he so wrong.

After that, they were both a mess gasping, trying to get a breath, trying to process what they had done.

"Don't you have a girlfriend, Miya?" Those were the words that came out of the girl's mouth. No, it wasn't like he was in a relationship with you. What's more, what were you? What were you to him? You weren't interested in him and still, everyone assumed you both were together "L/N-san, right?" 

L/N. His L/N. It was stupid to claim it as his property when there was no title for what you were. You were just a girl who was always there for him and he took advantage of your feelings for him. Did he need a favor? He knew you could do it for him. Did he need a place to stay for the night? He knew you would even offer him your bed if he was very tired. Did he need to vent his anger and frustrations with someone? You were there. Did he need love? You were already holding his hand without being asked.

But he never thought those were signs of a love relationship without being in a relationship. He only remembered you for being someone who would always be there for him and with him. He just saw you as an escape. From others and himself.

But no more than that.

"We are nothing. You do not have a boyfriend?" The setter was released in a playful tone. Almost as if he was mocking the girl's actions. She was silent and averted her gaze “Ah, nervous, embarrassed? A few minutes ago you were not ”

"This was a mistake," he said after processing on the girl's situation. He was sorry. Sure. She wanted Miya, but she didn't want to have him. She just wanted to give him a taste. And she regretted it "Do not tell anyone about what happened today"

"It's not like I'm interested anyway" he shrugged his shoulders and smiled "I wasn't unfaithful to anyone after all"

And in part he was right.

But he was partly lying.

They both fixed their clothes before leaving the bathroom. Atsumu immediately felt a fist collide with his cheek.

And then he felt another blow.

And another.

"What the fuck, man!?" Atsumu received one in the stomach but he managed to defend himself. He stared with her brown eyes at the attacker. Ah, it was the partner of the girl, the same boyfriend of the girl he had just fucked.

❥•°❀°•༢

"If it is not right, then do not do it"

Atsumu pulled out his cell phone while wiping the blood from his lip. He took the shit out of him. But he deserved it, deep down he knew he deserved it. He was close to the university dormitory complex. Every step was numb with pain.

He dialed the phone number. The first marked lost. The second one too. He roared angrily and tried one last time.

"Tsumu?" your voice was numb. Atsumu tried to suppress the gasp of pain "Are you alright? It's 3 in the morning"

"Can you open your apartment door for me?"

It was sad, to tell the truth. He and Osamu had not been to the same university and there was no one to take care of the stupid mess Atsumu created every time he walked somewhere or to someone. 

So Y/N was also his for that. So she could clean up his messes. So that she could advise him and take care of him. To have the warmth and personal and sympathetic affection that he missed.

But he was just using her, after all.

"Uh, yeah. You're good? You sound dejected,” you asked with notable concern. Your voice was so soft and loving even when the Miya seemed to have interrupted your sleep. He smiled at your words and let out a sigh.

"I just fought with an idiot. Nothing new"

"What? Are you hurt? Did they hurt you? Do you need me to look for the medkit? Where are you?" God Tsumu, do you need me to pick you up?”

For a moment, Atsumu felt guilty. But it was a moment that lasted years in his head. Your soft voice changed dramatically and now it was racing, almost desperate and breaking as you spoke. Why did you care so much about him? At this point, he didn't even remember how he had finished most of his university experience in your apartment or next to you. He only remembered the times when he had already put you in the same situation, where you were on the verge of crying for his problems.

How you unconsciously told him how hopelessly in love you were with him.

"Shh, I'm fine, doll. I'm almost here, just leave the door open"

"Does it hurt somewhere specific?" your voice seemed to hang by a thread as you asked him. Miya sighed with some pain.

"They hit me in the face and stomach"

He heard how you made a sound similar to a complaint holding back the crying. You were angry and worried. And you had every right to be. Atsumu slightly opened his eyes when you let out a broken sigh to start crying.

"Atsumu, what did you do to get hit?"

What did I do? Nor did he know what he did. He had gotten drunk, had danced with different girls. He had slept with one who was the girlfriend of one of his teammates. Then the boy found out. Atsumu hurt his ego and well, they ended up giving him the beating of the year. And everything, why? Did he really have a reason to do all that? Did his actions make sense?

"I…"

He didn't know what to say, he just kept walking while he got to your apartment.

Even before he could tell her and knock on the door, Y / N already had the door open and the cell phone against her ear. When she looked at him, she felt her heart break into a thousand pieces. His lip was cut and his hair was all messed up, he seemed to move with some difficulty and his face was screaming drunk everywhere.

Atsumu always broke her heart, and she always tried to repair his.

Miya hung up the call so he could get closer to her. The difference in size was noticeable, but not that did not prevent the blonde from collapsing in the arms of the eyed-e/c. Y/N dropped her cell phone and hugged him carefully, tried to keep her balance, but Miya was too heavy, the moment her body collided with the girl's figure, she couldn't avoid two steps back, about to fall.

But she was able to hold it, like all the times he broke into L/N's delicate and soft arms.

Miya's strong arms wrapped around Y/N, pressing her against him, wanting to feel her fragrance closer and closer to him. He held her tightly, but not as tightly as he desire. He just wanted to hold onto her. What she broadcast to him. To the feeling of love.

He wanted to be wanted, not just carnally.

He wanted to feel loved.

"Atsumu?"

He wanted to be from someone.

He wanted to be yours.

The words that came out of her strawberry lips intoxicated him. The way his name sounded in her voice was angelic. The way he stroked her hair, her fingers wrapped in the dyed blonde strands. The way her body trembled from the weight he held on her.

Oh he remembered. He remembered why he did everything he did.

"I need you"

He looked at her eyes. Damn, those color e/c eyes. Those eyes that made him confuse not once, not twice, but thousands of times. Atsumu awkwardly entered the apartment with her. Y/ Nhad her heart leaking out of her mouth.

Miya Atsumu had never said those words to her.

He had never acted like this, had never needed her before. They were just friends. Well, she loved him with all her might and had always been willing to be there for him, no matter the time, distance, or place. But, they were just friends, after all.

His fingers dug into the girl's h/c strands. His face came dangerously close to hers and their breaths collided. Oh Y/N could feel the alcohol emanating from him and it was impossible not to smell it, the nervous eyes of L/N met the brown eyes of Miya, he just looked at her with hunger, with desire, needy. "Atsu?" your voice trembled like a little bird just hatched. "Atsu, you have your lips all cut-" Atsumu smiled before colliding his lips with yours.

So soft. So cute. So, mine.

He held your figure firmly while desecrating your mouth with need. The metallic taste of blood mixed in the first kiss they shared. There were groans from you, trying to keep up with him. Your hands met his neck and you held on to him.

What remained of the night passed into the room.

❥•°❀°•༢

The hangover the next morning was killing him. His head looked like a pool table, and every hit they hit the balls echoed in his brain. He growled angrily as he stroked his temples. The heat of the summer and the rays of the sun seeped through the window of the room. Atsumu blinked to find a smaller figure beside him. A figure he knew. A figure that was always by his side.

Y/N.

Fuck. I have to get the fuck out of here.

Atsumu moved as delicately as he could, removing the blanket that covered them and rising with utmost silence, gathered up his clothes before putting them on. He turned a little to see L/N. Her hair was watered by the pillow and her expression looked so serene that it hurt Atsumu for a moment to leave her there. Alone.

It was just a fuck. Nothing more.

Her breathing became heavy before closing h eyes due to the horrible pain he felt in his body. The headache was throbbing while his abdomen and face felt like a punching bag. He groaned in pain, one loud enough for the girl to open her eyes full of concern.

"Atsu?" no, no, no, fuck. Atsumu didn't turn to see you, instead he grabbed the door handle "Do you need advil?" He could hear you getting out of bed and just closed his eyes tighter. He let out a weary, irritated sigh. "Let me help you, Tsumu. It’s okay” you hugged him from behind, placing your check against his back.

Just treat her like the others. Just break her heart.

"If it's not true, don't say it"

Atsumu grabbed both of your hands and pulled them away from his chest, turning his head slightly to meet your confused and worried gaze.

So tiny. So fragile. So mine…

"I’ll be clear Y/N. I was drunk, I needed a place to stay. Things got heat up and we fucked. That’s all. You don't mean anything more than just another fuck. And of course, you are my friend, that’s why I have to tell you that I don’t feel anything for you” his eyes were glued to hers, without blinking. He could see how the girl's gaze began to collapse and began to fill with sadness and despair. “If you thought that this would mean something, well, now you know that it doesn't. I need to go. Bye, see you around ”

"Don't go, Atsumu" you begged, holding his arm tightly, but your hands trembled with fear, with sadness "Please, don't go" your words dragged with fear as you continued to beg "Did it really mean nothing? You do not love me?"

"Damn, Y/N. No, you can't make me stay" he turned for the first time to meet your face, completely in front of you, you were fighting tears, you were trying to keep your voice from breaking while he kept rejecting you over and over again "I love you" he said softly "But not enough to stay,” he lied, again. He took your face in his hands and felt how your cheeks began to redden and how the tears came out of your eyes and collided with his fingers “What happened yesterday should not have happened. It was a mistake, I was very drunk and you were very sensitive "

"Am I not enough?"

"No" stopped immediately, Atsumu, don't do it like this "I really have to go, Y/N. Let go of me" he sighed again, you tightened your grip, refusing to believe him "Y / N, now, let go of me "wiped your tears as he stared at you" Please "

"All was a lie?" you dared to ask, and immediately a lump formed in your throat.

"What do you mean by all?"

“Us”

"There was never a us. We were never more than teammates, more than friends. If you ever felt like I wanted to be with you, I'm sorry. It is not like this. I repeat it to you again, because apparently you don't understand it” he made you look at him while he brought his face close to yours “I don't feel anything for you, Y/N”

"Atsumu, why ..."

"Y/N!" your eyes filled with terror, he had never raised his voice at you "Stop asking meaningless questions! Is it so difficult for you to understand that I played with you? It was all a damn game!" The boy's head kept pounding from the hangover. Your eyes went to him with a look he had never shown before, disappointment. 

Disappointed in him or in yourself?

"Everything?" your voice was almost inaudible at those points in the conversation.

"Everything, Y/N. All kisses on the forehead, all holding hands, all the walks to your apartment. All those "study dates" that I asked you for. All those movie nights. All the damn sleepovers. All the words I told you that surely excited you. Everything. You were so damn naive. It was so easy and simple. It was all to show others that you could fall at my feet like all the others”

What the fuck are you saying, Atsumu? Stop.

"All the others...?"

"My God, Y/N. To be so smart you have a hard time understanding some things” he smiled with some anger “Yes, Y/N. Like all the others. Like all the ones I fucked with”

Atsumu couldn't hear your heart, but he knew it was already more than broken. He knew he was ruining everything. Everything he had accomplished with you.

It was no longer simply showing that you could fall in love with him. It was no longer that.

It was to show you that he had fallen in love with you, too. But he couldn't say it, he refused to believe it. He refused to break his heart in the process of breaking yours. He had always been selfish, always. Why was it bothering him now? Was he doing the right thing?

You pushed him away from him and started crying uncontrollably. The way your body trembled and your crying intensified as the seconds ticked by was driving him mad, it was hurting him. He stroked her temples again, the headache was growing little by little.

"If you don't know, shut up"

“Don't do anything stupid because of what I did or said. I don't love you as you love me, but that shouldn't break our friendship. So calm down, drink some water and you're done. It’s not that bad”

You didn't answer him for the first time in the morning.

And he left you in there, broken. He knew, he knew what he did. He always lied to you. He knew that he broke your heart so many times and in so many ways.

 When he reached the door of the apartment he could hear your whining accompanied by beatings to what he supposed was your wall and he sighed again, opened the door, and left.

❥•°❀°•༢

Memories of last night appeared on his head while he drank from the whiskey bottle.

"I love you" he murmured in your ear the night before, his strong arms covered your little figure "I love you so damn much, you are mine" he kissed your lips softly before looking into your eyes, "Say it, say that you are mine”

“I’m yours, Atsumu” your voice saying those words were heaven and hell “I love you more” the little smile that crept all over your face was intoxicating, he kissed you again.

“Never forget how much I love you, my angel” I kissed your head before wrapping his arms all over your body “Not even if I fucked up, not even if I lied to you. Not even if I broke you into pieces, please remember that I love you more than I can say, please, Y/N. Please"

You smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Okay. Don’t forget that I’ll always be by your side, you dummy”

"Even if I break your heart?"

"Even if you break my heart"

He smiled again and pressed a sincere kiss on your lips "I'll try to not break your heart, anyway"

"I'll try not to hate you if you do it anyway, then" and both of you laughed.

[levis-hazelnut]

Summary: when you and your best friend, Hanji, were younger, you had made up stories about your dream guys - what they would look like and how you would meet. What happens when the one you had made up appears to be real?

Warning(s): I don’t think there are any in this chapter. But, please do tell me if there are any.

Taglist (closed): @castellandiangelo @fandom-addict19​ @20coldhearts​

Status: completed!

part 9 > part 10 > part 11

series masterlist

I laid down in bed for an hour after waking up since I was in too much pain to get up. And in the need for some comfort, I decided to call Levi - the man that I've been dating for nearly two months.

I called him twice before the call went through and I heard his grumpy, morning voice from the speaker.

"Darlin', it's seven in the fucking morning. You better have an explanation for waking me up this early during the holidays."

"There's an emergency. I need you to come over right now."

"What? What happened? Are you okay?" he asked, sounding more concerned for me.

I smirked, but obviously, he couldn't see me so my plan would work. "Just come over quickly."

"Okay. I'll be there in ten."

He cut the phone without letting me reply as I smiled, however, it was soon wiped off my lips when a sharp pain stabbed me in my lower abdomen.

My 'emergency' wasn't really an emergency. I just needed someone (Levi in particular) to stay with me for today, seeing as how it was the second day of my period, where I just wanted to lie around and eat while my 'servant' got me what I needed.

After lying in bed for about fifteen minutes, I had to get up to answer the door for someone who was supposedly Levi. I kind of felt bad for making him rush after waking up so early, but he has to prove that he's the best boyfriend ever (as he claims to be even though he annoys the hell out of me. I'll like to see him try and annoy me today).

Groaning, I got out of bed, realising I was only in a vest top and panties. I got hot during the night and may have gotten angry at my pyjamas for making me sweat. I was only half-asleep when I discarded the clothing, but I'm pretty sure I started yelling at the non-living fabric. However, I barely remember what happened so I can never be sure, that could have been a dream for all I know.

Anyway, I wasn't bothered to put clothes on, so I went to the door, pressing a button to let Levi enter the building and I unlocked the front door of the apartment, leaving it slightly open before sprinting back to my bed, cocooning myself in the covers.

"Darlin'?" I heard him call, loud enough for me to hear, but quiet enough to make sure that Hanji doesn't wake up. I heard the door close as footsteps approached my room that had its door wide open. He spotted my head sticking out of the material that engulfed me and neared my bed, crossing his arms over his chest. "What the hell was your so-called 'emergency'?" Levi snapped and I just pouted at him.

"That's the first thing you say to me? Not even: 'Hey, babe. Is everything okay?'"

"I've never called you 'babe', so why would I ever say that?" he muttered, sitting at the edge of my bed.

"Well, you can start calling me that now, idiot."

"What's wrong with you? I get you might be grouchy because you woke up this early, but what did I do?"

I sighed. "Nothing. You didn't do anything. I'm just being a bitch."

"That's nothing new," he teased.

"You're such a jerk, you jerk!"

"Hey, I was just joking, babe," he spoke in a quiet tone as a small smile was painted onto his lips.

I gasped and my eyes widened as I sat up in surprise, holding the covers close to me. "Y-You just called me babe--! Ughhhh..." I flopped back down to lie down when the sudden movement caused further pain. I pressed a hand to my stomach and let out a small groan as a wrinkle formed in the middle of my brows.

"Are you okay?"

"I guess..." I mumbled.

"What happened? Did you injure yourself?"

"Not exactly."

"Just tell me what's wrong."

"... It's the second day of... my period," I muttered.

"... Oh," was all that slipped past his lips. "Tch. You dragged me out of my bed to come here, at seven o'clock, when I could be sleeping."

"Ackerman--" I spoke through gritted teeth before quietly moaning in pain. I couldn't even finish my threat. Damn cramps.

Levi ruffled my hair. "Being the best boyfriend ever, I'll look after you today."

"Really? Are you sure?" I asked because even Hanji and Eren can't bear to deal with me on this day.

"If it doesn't put my life at risk, I will. I don't care about what kind of monster you'll turn into."

~/~

"Levi?" I murmured as I lay flat on my stomach on the sofa with a hot water bottle pressed against my abdomen as my cheek was pressed against the cushion. The aforementioned male sat on the floor in front of the sofa, leaning his back against it as he stared at his phone and I played with his ebony locks, twisting them and drifting my fingers through them.

"Yes, darlin'?"

"Are you annoyed at me?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Are you really really sure?"

"Yes."

"Even though I punched your nose?"

"(Y/N), I don't care. Just don't do it again or you'll get an injury of your own."

"Hm. I like it when you say my name," I smiled, not focusing on his second sentence and instead, dwelling on how my name sounded when it was said by him.

"You sound so tired. Go to sleep."

"M’kay. Will you still be here when I wake up?”

“Yes. Just sleep.”

That will make everything easier, he mentally added, but didn't dare to say it in front of me because that would result in him getting another injury.

"Aren't you tired as well? I mean, I did wake you up only an hour after me. You must be tired."

"I'm fine. Just shut your mouth and eyes, and go to sleep."

I was asleep less than ten minutes later, which is when Levi turned around to look at me. My face was still squished against the sofa so I looked like a fish with puckered lips. He smiled softly and pressed his lips against my forehead before standing up and stretching.

For the six hours he's been here, he's had to run around and do things for me.

After he arrived, we stayed in my room for about half an hour before he told me that I should get up and eat something since it was nearly two hours since I woke up. Once I had changed into a baggy t-shirt and shorts and freshened up, I just had cereal. After which, Levi gave me a glass of water and painkillers.

I had plopped down onto the sofa, on my back, closing my eyes as I tried ignoring the pain I was feeling. However, it didn't subside. Being snacky, I made him go out to get something and he did without a single complaint (look at him being the perfect boyfriend). He came back with whatever I wanted and I snacked on some of the things before leaving the rest for later before I requested that he cuddle with me. He refused, so I had tugged him onto the sofa and forced it upon him. Even though I forced him, he seemed to enjoy it after a while. But he noticed that my pain was still there, so he went to get me a hot water bottle.

And now, here I am, asleep on the sofa as Levi gazed at me for a moment or two.

"Hi, Shorty! How's (Y/N)?" Hanji came into the room with a wide grin. Levi didn't turn around because he knew that the maniac would comment on his bruised nose and laugh about it.

"Fortunately, she's asleep right now."

"Thank you so much for taking care of her. I can't deal with her when she's like this, she's an actual-- Woah, what happened to you?" she exclaimed when she caught a glimpse of the raven as she stood next to him. He rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue, but didn't say anything. "Did (Y/N) punch you?"

"... Yes."

The brunette started to cackle but Levi shut her up because he didn't want me to wake up. She pursed her lips and it looked as if her eyes would pop out of their sockets as she held her laugh in.

"Can't you go bother your boyfriend?"

"I would, but I will later since we have a date," she replied after she composed herself. "How long are you going to stay for?"

"I don't know. Whenever this idiot lets me leave, I guess."

"Go take a nap, you're going to have to do a lot when she wakes up."

"I'm fine. I just need some tea since she's kept me by her side all day and not let me do anything I want."

"Sorry for making you deal with this. I would say she's about six on the scale," Hanji stated as if Levi knew what she was talking about. He simply arched an eyebrow, questioning the words she was saying. Noticing his confusion, she explained herself. "Me and Eren made up this scale from one to ten when (Y/N)'s on her period. One is when she's fine and happy, ten is when she's a complete monster. And right now, she's about a six."

"Six? I don't want to see what she is at ten."

"I've only seen it once and I let Eren deal with her since he would do anything for her."

Levi frowned at Hanji's words. Yeah, me and Eren are best friends, but when she said 'would do anything for her', it didn't sound like something you would say about best friends.

"What do you mean by that?" he decided to question.

"Did (Y/N) not tell you? She tells you everything, though."

"What are you talking about?" the raven pressed.

"Nothing, nothing. If she didn't tell you, she obviously has a reason. So ask her--"

"Can you two talk any louder?" I muttered, keeping my eyes closed as I sat up. I squinted at the two humans that stood in front of the sofa and chose to lie back down since I was too sluggish to say or do anything.

"(Y/N), is there something you need to tell me?"

"No. Why? What did Hanji say?"

"It has something to do with Eren but she won't tell me."

"I don't know-- Ohh, that. It's not a big deal," I stated, shrugging my shoulders. "Eren used to like me. I think he still does. I'm actually not sure, and I'm pretty sure he's confused about his feelings as well. But it's fine, he won't try to do anything. Don't even think about telling me to stay away from him because I'm obviously not going to listen to you."

"Tch. I knew that brat liked you. And I know you wouldn't listen because you're a stubborn idiot."

"What a wonderful thing to hear as soon as I wake up," I said sarcastically as Levi lifted my legs and sat down on the sofa, putting my legs back down to rest on his lap. "Anyway, I need more sleep so both of you shut up now."

Hanji left the room and Levi didn't say anything.

I decided to change my position and have my head on his lap. I glanced up at him to see that his eyes were closed, so I stretched my hand up to boop his nose since he looked adorable. He unlidded one eye and stared down at me as I smiled up at him. He quietly exhaled through his nose before closing his eyes. I did the same, needing rest just as much as him.

~/~

Levi had his feet rested on a small ottoman as he sat on the sofa, his arm around my torso as I leaned my head against his shoulder. My legs were tucked in and my body was covered with a blanket, shared with the raven. We also shared ice cream as we watched a movie.

About twenty minutes into the movie, the door to my apartment opened quietly before closing with a click. There was the call of my name from two masculine voices before two figures entered the dark room. I glanced at them and a grin sprung onto my lips as I jumped off of the sofa and rushed towards them.

"I missed both of you," I said quietly.

"How the hell did they even get inside?" Levi questioned after pausing the film.

"Eren has keys."

"Why?"

"I gave them to him since he comes here a lot. And before you ask, Eren and Jean are here because I missed them and wanted their company."

All three of us plopped down next to Levi, all squished together but still had a little space. The order in which we sat was: Levi, me, Eren, and then Jean. I resumed the movie and snuggled close to Levi, who looped a protective arm around me, causing me to roll my eyes and smile, slightly shifting to kiss his cheek, silently reassuring him that he had nothing to worry about. Because even though I love Eren, I would never leave Levi for him. And Eren wouldn't try to take me away from my boyfriend as he knows how much I like him.

[starlit-dreaming]

[6] in the back of my mind

Fandom: WMMAP Rating: G Ship: Eventual Lucathy, Felily, Calena, and more Note: the Twin Sibling AU that i tried so hard not to write, but i DID, so naturally i have to call myself out for writing it. will be cross-posted on ao3 and wattpad under the same title

oof i’ve been so busy with work that i’m really happy to have finally managed to post a chapter of something, even if this felt more like a set up chapter

Arc 1: Beginning of the End 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | [6] | 7 | 8

Arc 2: Of Princes and Villainesses 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16

Summary:

He was pretty sure he transmigrated into a fanfic of [The Lovely Princess] — after all, he would’ve remembered if Princess Athanasia had a younger twin who died.

// A retelling of WMMAP with a vital difference — Athanasia has a younger twin brother.

——————————

6. something simple, something new

——————————

Athan was sulking.

After they survived from almost drowning, his sister caught a cold. Unfortunately, he wasn’t allowed to be in the same room as his sister, as they didn’t want him to get sick along with her. So for the time being, he has to remain in another room until she gets better.

He knows that she’ll be fine. If she can think of complaints towards Claude that echoes softly in the back of his mind, then she’ll be getting up sooner or later.

But it’s irritating, knowing that he’s not allowed to be in the same room as his own sister.

(He thinks of the aftermath, the way she was shivering from the cold after having emerged from the lake, as they both wept and cling to the other.)

“It’s quiet…” he softly states, slumping in his seat in the library, the warm sun shining down on him as he then lays his head against the wooden table.

(Something was missing.)

He was… tired.

——————————

“Hey, [][][][][][][][],” a girl cheerfully greets, smacking him on the back as she greets him with a bright smile.

“[][][][][][],” he flatly greets, sitting up in his seat. A glance around the classroom showed that it was just him and his friend alone, and their teacher sitting at their desk. “What happened?”

“Class is over, sleepy head. Everyone went to their next class or that stupid seniors-only seminar that we’re supposed to go to instead,” she teased, though there was a look in her eyes betraying her concern. “Class actually ended like… two minutes ago, though. You normally always wake up when the bell rings — something on your mind, dude?”

“No,” he shakes his head. “I started reading this dumb web novel I texted you about yesterday and accidentally pulled an all-nighter just to finish reading the dumb thing,” he grabbed his backpack, packing up his belongings. “I absolutely hate it. I kept reading and reading, hoping that [][][][][][][][] would get a fucking clue, but no, instead her sister dies! And all she does is go and cry into the arms of her fiancée.”

“Oh, that novel. I told you that you’d probably hate it,” she laughs. “I used to read it, too. It was god awful — there wasn’t any character development for Jennette — hell, she doesn’t really learn much of anything, she doesn’t even help [][][][][][][][][], she doesn’t even try to make them all spend time together, too. I heard that the author was publishing it into an actual book with a few changes, so maybe that gets fixed?”

“Not even a few changes would make that dumpster trash better!” he huffed. “I hated the online version, so nothing’s gonna make me want to buy the paperback version. [][][][][][][][][] deserved better!”

“Well, there’s always fanfiction,” she suggests. “I read a lot of it back then.”

“Fanfiction? What’s that?”

——————————

“Prince! Your presence is requested,” Lily urgently spoke, gently waking him up.

“Huh?” he blinked. “Lily, I was having a nice dream…” he paused, seeing Lily’s somewhat frantic expression. “Did something happen?”

“Yes, but first, do you know where the Princess is? She wasn’t in her bed,” Lily asked.

‘Chocolate! I can’t stop this unshakeable desire for chocolate!’ his sister’s voice echoed without an ounce of shame.

“Uh… have you tried checking the kitchen?” he asks, wiping the drool off his cheek as he follows Lily out of the room. “Lily? What’s going on?”

.

What’s going on, as Athan would later learn as he and Athy stood in front of the palace, was that they were gaining a knight and new maids.

“Felix Robain, at your service,” the knight says, kneeling before the twins with a kind smile on his face. “I will be your temporary royal guard starting from today, my prince and princess.”

‘I sincerely hope that this isn’t because I was asking Lily for a knight after we first met him,’ Athan thought. ‘I was only teasing him by reminding him that he appeared to be a kidnapper when I first saw him.’

‘It’s definitely your fault,’ Athy flatly added. ‘You should’ve never asked if we could keep him — I certainly don’t!’

“His Majesty’s intention is to cherish the prince and princess, and to treat them well.”

‘Treat us well?’

——————————

“I wanna see Hannah and Ces,” Athy stated.

He’s sitting in Lily’s lap, flipping through the pages of a geography book, staring more at the pictures of maps than anything else. Lily gently tugs on his hair, brushing and tying it into its usual low ponytail.

He hums in absent-minded agreement, “I miss them, too.” He did miss getting openly fawned over by Hannah, and it was strange to be around so many unfamiliar maids.

“If you wish to see them again, surely you will,” Lily smiled, feigning clear optimism in the face of their disappointment.

“When?” his sister asked, puffing up her cheeks into a pout.

“Umm, after ten days?” she hesitantly suggested. It was clear that she had no idea and was simply expecting them to forget. Well, he probably would’ve forgotten, but Athy was clearly infuriated that Claude had replaced all the maids with the exception of their nanny.

‘These new maids will be indifferent to my charms,’ Athy miserably thought and, well, Athan understood her feelings on the matter, but he couldn’t help but think that she’s overreacting. ‘All that hard work, tossed away…’

‘I don’t think Lily has a say in bringing them back, though,’ Athan piped up. ‘She’s only our nanny, after all. I think Claude’s the only one we have to speak to about getting them back…’

‘Who does he think he is?!’ Athy cried back. ‘He didn’t care about us before, Athan! He didn’t even give any of us a second thought when the previous head maid was stealing from our funds, and he goes and pulls this shit, claiming that he wants to take care of us when we nearly drowned — what a dirtbag!’

“Now, now, Princess,” Felix spoke up. “Don’t be upset. Why don’t you have a chat with His Majesty?”

At that, Athan looks up from his book.

“His Majesty happened to mention that he wants to spend time with the princess during dinner.”

‘Well, there’s your chance to talk to him about it,’ he dryly comments as Athy practically withers away despite the ever present smile on her face. “Really?” he asked bright-eyed and cheerful as he looked up at Felix. “We get to have dinner with papa?”

——————————

Like always, Athan grasped the edge of Felix’s cape as the young knight carried Athy in his arms. It probably would be faster, if Athan simply allowed himself to be carried by Felix as well, but… something compels him to walk instead.

Maybe it was because he was always running in his past life. He’s tired of running.

Still, he had to admit that he and Athy were freaking adorable kids, even when they weren’t properly dressed up for dinner with their father. It had to be the power of being twins with good genes, that’s for sure. While Athy wore a pink apron with white bunnies, he wore a blue apron with black cats. She wore a white, simple ruffled dress, he wore a ruffled white collar shirt and white pants.

Call him a narcissist, but he was adorable — if only onesies were a thing in this world, but unfortunately it wasn’t. His baby pictures would’ve been cuter than Athy’s, probably.

‘There’s nobody here…’ Athy thought before looking at Felix. “Mister, mister.”

“Yes?”

“Why aren’t there any ladies or knights in papa’s palace?”

He listens to Felix’s answer, and wonders if the reason actually had something to do with the previous emperors. After all, Claude’s mother was a maid, wasn’t she? And his brother was said to spend his time lavishly in riches. It made sense for him to avoid having people in his palace.

‘Still, it’s kinda strange,’ Athan thought. ‘Wasn’t Claude a bit of a floozy until he met Diana? Did she do something that made him swear off that lifestyle? They did say that he went crazy and killed everyone there, but the side stories didn’t mention a single thing about Claude, just that Diana genuinely loved him…’

“I’ll wait for you out here.”

Athan blinked, realizing that he and Athy had both been pushed into the room. He looked at the door as Athy frantically tried to open the door, only to finally give up.

With a drowsy yawn, his eyes survey the area as he simply chooses to wander close to the bed. Athy was immediately swept away from all the gold, running along the wall of gold-framed portraits. She couldn’t contain her joy-filled thoughts that crashed into him as if it were ocean waves.

“Athy, I don’t think papa’s here…” he trailed off, peering up at the empty bed. ‘Did deadbeat dad end up leaving before we showed up?’

A wave of dissatisfaction hits him, causing him to blink as an image of a broken portrait flashes in his mind. It was a brief image of a young woman that felt oddly familiar to him, with green eyes and brown hair styled prettily, with her lips were coloured a bold red.

‘I know who that is,’ Athy thought, and he could imagine her frowning as he trots over to her by the sofa. ‘I’ve seen too much.’

Suddenly, he feels a violent flinch, causing a shiver to go down his spine.

“Athy? What’s wrong?” he urgently asked, peering up from over the sofa and blinking when he saw white robes laying on the other side. His eyes trail over to the other side of the sofa and land on a sleeping face. “Ah…”

‘W-what’s he doing here instead of sleeping in his bed?!’ Athy had cried.

Athan stared at him for a long moment as he moved to stand at Athy’s side. Quietly, they observe their sleeping father.

‘Man… maybe I did inherit more than just looks from him,’ he thought, nodding in understanding. ‘Any place is an acceptable napping spot.’

‘Should I give him a little wake-up punch?’ Athy thought, causing him to choke as he stared at her, taken aback by her desire for violence.

‘You keep saying shit like how he could kill us at any moment,’ Athan points out, ‘And yet here you are, constantly wanting to kick his ass. Don’t even think about it — a person’s nap time is sacred and should never be interrupted unless it’s important.’

‘When am I going to get another chance like this, Athan?’ her eyes glimmered with blazing determination. She clenched her fist before raising it over her head.

‘Shit, and here I thought I was the impulsive one!’ Athan cried, reaching his arms to try and catch Athy’s fists. ‘I understand how you feel, but for fuck’s sake, please don’t just impulsively attack!’

‘For what happened at the lake, you gotta take two punches, asshole!’ Athy internally screamed as Athan stared at her in horror.

He managed to grab a hold of Athy’s hands, relief flooding him in an instant.

A piece of chocolate fell on Claude’s head.

Claude’s eyes open.

Well fuck.

——————————

They survive yet another encounter with Claude.

Yeah, what a miracle, right?

He’s not sure whether to praise Athanasia for her quick thinking, or to curse her for causing the situation to begin with. Nevertheless, it’s thanks to her patting their sperm donor’s head and singing the lullaby that Lily often sang for them that they managed to get out unscathed.

Still, he had a few mixed feelings about their conversations during dinner. Apparently, they need an etiquette teacher because of how atrocious their manners were — plus a comment of how uneducated the previous maids were which was incredibly rude. On one hand, their teacher was a competent young woman who married a Marquess. On the other hand, he’ll most likely loathe her.

Marchioness Pompidou, otherwise known as Madame Pompidou, is a strict teacher for young nobles, often teaching children from age eight until before they debut. She specialized in etiquette and dancing, and often loathed improper form.

Madame Pompidou was also the aunt and adoptive mother of a minor antagonist in Toska.

Verena Pompidou, Prince Athanasios’ fiancée.

Her relationship with Athanasios mimicked Jennette and Izekiel, but on a rather toxic scale. They were both a Childhood Friends trope in an arranged marriage AU, except Verena was more of an arrogant noble girl who became the prince’s fiancée just because Claude didn’t care and never changed until Jennette and Izekiel came into the social picture. While they fell in love, Verena seemed more infatuated with domestic abuse of the verbal kind and would often make snide comments about how the twins had commoner’s blood.

Still, the twins meet her when they’re eight, almost nine. She would already be nine due to being born earlier than them by almost a year, if he remembers correctly. The twins had their first meeting with Verena when she joined them for their dance lessons. 

They were already five now, so only less than four years until he gets pushed into an unwanted engagement.

Does… he really have to meet her at some point?

It sounded troublesome.

[foundthe8wing]

Okay, doing this over here because my main tumblr is usually a place for me to vibe and I don’t want all the bullshit tied to that account, but basically: I’m really angry and disappointed with the dndads cast for how they’ve put a lot of the minors in their fanbase in danger. Everything below is a repost from twitter (with permission from the OP, crypticjoy), and I’ll link the thread in a reblog. 

Under a cut because it’s long and potentially triggering (content warnings for grooming, sexualizing minors, and sexual assault)

[OP tagged the relevant cast accounts; I added slashes here bc I’m not sure if those same urls exist on tumblr and I don’t want to be randomly tagging people over here]

5:49 PM Sep 5, 2020

“I don’t usually do this, but: the way that the cast of @/dungeonsanddads engages with their audience is actively dangerous to minors, and they need to get it together. (cw for discussion of grooming, sexualizing minors, sexual assault)

First off, there are some iffy jokes and situations in the podcast itself. I’m not going to get into all of it right here, but have a google doc: [doc will also be linked in reblog]

Yes, the kids in #dndads are fictional, but that doesn’t mean this stuff doesn’t affect real kids listening. a. it normalizes talking/joking about kids in that way and b. There’s a lot of inconsistancy and confusion on the lines they draw--

Paeden saying “baby” is weird but Ron sitting in Terry Jr’s lap isn’t? I’m confused. You know who the fuck relies on that type of confusion and unclarity? Fucking predators

And I’m not saying every in-character decision has to be perfectly moral or acceptable, but the way the cast, out of character, discuss what’s weird and what’s not sends a lot of mixed messages. And that’s legitimately dangerous.

So then you take all of this, and you add a patron discord server that lets nsfw discussions run virtually unchecked--you create a fandom space that allows adults to discuss kinks, and porn searches, and just, all this other stuff, with teenagers...

... and it becomes a breeding ground for grooming and abuse.

The creators aren’t responsible for babysitting their fanbase or for how people engage with their content outside of their spaces (though, again, I’d urge them to be very careful about what kind of messages they’re sending)

But  they ARE responsible for taking basic steps to keep the spaces that THEY create and engage with safe.

“But the rules for the server say 18+!” The rules say you have to be 18 *or have parental permission.* They also say to keep things PG-13. That’s vastly different than establishing something as an adult-only/nsfw space.

“Minors shouldn’t be joining/listening anyway!” The cast can’t control who listens and neither can I, but there’s a difference between knowing teens are listening to you discuss sex with your adult friends vs facilitating conversations between teens and adults on those topics.

“If people are uncomfortable they can just leave.” First off, this situation isn’t just uncomfortable, it’s unSAFE. Second: fuck that. It’s not on minors to set and maintain boundaries about this stuff; a lot of them literally do not know how

Not because they’re stupid, but because they’re young and inexperienced. It’s the responsibility of adults to set and enforce healthy boundaries around sexual discussions, and this particular group of adults has done a fucking terrible job

(Maybe don’t encourage listeners to DM you about kinks! Maybe especially don’t do that when you’ve communicated, intentionally or not, that making and escalating sexual jokes is a really good way to get a reaction from you guys)

I get that they didn’t expect to have so many young listeners, but to be aware of that fact and make no adjustments whatsoever is irresponsible and it WILL lead to someone getting hurt. Does their “young, thirsty, female” audience only exist to them when they can laugh about it?

And let’s be absolutely 1000% clear: this isn’t an issue they’re unaware of. The stuff I’m talking about is an ongoing problem with how their server is run, but it came to a head with one specific situation very recently:

They released a bonus, patron-exclusive episode about the dads taking the bdsm test. Given the general state of the server, I was worried about where those discussions might lead, so before it dropped, I reached out to @/anthony_burch to express my concern

He told me he raised the issue with @/fwong and Ashley, meaning at least three members of the dndads team were aware of the situation, and decided it didn’t warrant any type of preemptive action on their part

(alternatively, it means Anthony lied, which would be a whole separate issue)

[Image ID: a discord DM conversation from Sep 1, 2020, between a crossed out username and reverendanthony. It reads: 

OP: heyyyyy have you guys considered that releasing an episode focused on the bdsm test is almost inevitably going to lead to a bunch of 15 year olds sharing their results in your server because you might want to get ahead of that before someone gets hurt

reverendanthony: oh holy shit, really good idea

OP: thanks, I know it's easy to veer into that territory just because of the nature of your show but I wanted to bring it to your attention because I figured you don't want to create a situation that's like, actively dangerous (and for the record I'm willing to discuss what I think would make it safer but I'm also not going to assume you want/need my input, obviously you can handle it however you see fit)

reverendanthony: No, thank you for bring it up, I really appreciate it -- I just raised the issue with Freddie and Ashley

OP: Good to know, thank you /End ID]

I’m not overreacting. I have seen this shit happen, to my friends and to myself, and watching the dndads cast take absolutely no meaningful action to prevent situations like that from occurring directly under their noses makes me fucking livid

I can guarantee that the #dungeonsanddaddies fanbase includes both predators and survivors of abuse, grooming, etc (including those currently living through it), and I need them to think very, very hard about which group they’re prioritizing.

And I need that choice to be evident through more than just their words, because it doesn’t fucking matter how much you “really appreciate” that I brought up my concerns if you do fuck-all to address them.

It doesn’t matter how many times you say the word “consent” if apparently everyone was okay that “Darryl gets sexually assaulted” was almost a plot point played for laughs.

(His dare from Scam  would have been rape, straight up. Just because no one said the word doesn’t mean it wasn’t coercive and gross).

I’d like to think the @/dungeonsanddads cast isn’t intentionally encouraging abuse, but they’re sure as hell enabling it, and they needed to get their shit together ages ago, because they’re not the ones their negligence hurts.”

Quote retweet by OP 6:51 PM Sep 7, 2020

“So, they updated the rules for the patron server, but I want to be really clear that from my perspective, it’s way too little, way too late. 

The new rules don’t adequately address the core issues and they certainly don’t absolve the cast of the harm they’ve already caused. 

[Tweet includes 2 screenshots: one of a bot asking people to click thumbs up to confirm they’re 18+ (or have a parent’s permission) and agree to the rules, and one that includes two of the rules. It reads: 

“This is an 18+ space. Them’s the rules: per Patreon’s policy, you must be 18+ or have parental permission.

Use language as if you’re at your parents dinner table. Don’t get people in trouble because of your SPICY POSTS. Keep conversation polite. NSFW content is not allowed!”]

(and before anyone says I should bring up my concerns privately, a quick refresher on how well that went last time I did it:) 

[links back to the “(alternatively, it means Anthony lied . . .)” tweet from the original thread]

So hey, @/fwong, some thoughts:

1.The rules are vague and unclear: what /exactly/ do you mean when you say “NSFW content is not allowed!” when the content of your show itself is so often nsfw? And how are you planning to enforce this?

Does it mean you’ll shut down the MBIC conversation that is literally just kink discussion? I need you to be clear on where the line is, because, again, predators rely on that confusion. Don’t give them a gray area to play in. 

For an example of a more clear policy, it’s pretty easy to say, “yep, ‘Henry gets pegged’ sure is a sentence we said on our show and you don’t have to pretend it’s not, but if you’d like to discuss it in any more detail at all, you need to move”

2. Remember how I said I needed to be clear on whether you’re prioritizing survivors or predators? While I doubt it was intentional, the language you’re using here is prioritizing predators.

It’s not “don’t get people in trouble,” it’s “don’t make people uncomfortable.” It’s “we all have a responsibility to make sure this space is safe for everyone, especially the younger members of the community.”

You’re setting people up to be afraid of expressing concerns for fear of “getting people in trouble” or “inciting unnecessary drama.” Even if it’s not what YOU meant, it’s very easy for those words to be manipulated, so +

You absolutely have to be explicitly clear that if someone expresses their discomfort, you’ve got their back. Being safe is more important than being polite. 

3. I need every cast member to take responsibility for their own actions. I’ve gotten no indication from any of you that you understand the ways in which the in-show things I brought up were harmful.

Acknowledging that harm is important not just because of the immediate effects of that content, but also because it implicitly sets an example for how similar complaints should be dealt with going forward.

When someone says “hey, I was uncomfortable that you seem fine with the Glennary ship, because she reads as very young to me,” I don’t need a dissertation on how the perception of characters can evolve due to your improvisational nature

I need to hear “oh, I interpreted her differently, but you’re right, we should have been more clear, and I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.” Because your responses to your own mistakes set the tone for any other situations like that going forward.

How comfortable is someone going to be with coming to you, or Ash, or any of the mods about someone making them uncomfortable if they’ve seen that when people call YOU out, they’re argued with and shut down?

Don’t tell people you’ve “made it clear that you won’t go there” when they tell you that you ARE there. Listen to them and do better. 

Set the expectation that people will be respected when they raise their concerns. “If you want to come at me you have to bring the heat” is not an appropriate response on a subject that made people genuinely uncomfortable. 

In essence: set people up to be supported and protected, not dismissed. 

[It’s like a matriosche of tweets over here. This one links to another thread, also by crypticjoy. That thread reads:

A non-comprehensive guide to keeping discord servers safe for minors:

1. Make designated channels for nsfw/18+ discussion. Generally speaking, this is a lot more effective than banning those discussions altogether, because it’s a lot easier to say “hey, can you move this conversation?” than “hey, I need you to stop”

In fandom spaces, it’s usually a good idea to have separate channels for talking about nsfw fiction vs discussing your personal sex lives.

2. Give everyone minor/adult roles; make sure your 18+ channels are locked to people who don’t have an adult role. It’s important that there’s more of a barrier there than just checking a box.

3. NSFW channels shouldn’t necessarily be a free-for-all; be aware of people’s boundaries and respect them (for example, r*pe jokes aren’t funny or okay, even if you’re not making them around kids)

4. Explicitly state in your rules that people should feel free to come to mods if anyone is making them uncomfortable. Actually listen to people and resolve the situation if they do approach you.

5. Make it clear that creepy behavior via DMs or other means is also not tolerated--you can’t control what people do outside your server, but you can make the choice to not allow people like that in your space

6. Make sure mods are on top of things BEFORE people have to say anything; sometimes being a mod means being willing to be the “asshole” who shuts things down before they get out of hand, even if they’re not asked.

Be generally aware of signals that people are uncomfortable or that things are escalating too far, and address those situations sooner rather than later.

*It should be noted that safety involves a lot of components beyond just containing nsfw discussions; this thread just happens to be focused on that one specific element.

oh also! It's a good idea to provide resources on grooming so people know what to look out for [links to some resources; again, this’ll be in the reblog]]

So, @/dungeonsanddads, if you’re interested in anything beyond just having a flimsy excuse you can point to to cover your own ass, I’m gonna need you to try again.

Sorry I can’t be nicer about it, but I’ve given so many benefits of the doubt I could be running a successful charity, and this isn’t an issue I’m willing to drop. 

10:02 PM

Thought I was done but actually I've got a few more questions: to what extent were @/HeyBethMay, @/WillBCampos, and @/mattLarnold included in conversations about this issue/the new rules? Is this something your whole team is involved in?

Have you discussed what you're doing on a team and individual basis to keep your fan interactions safe, and are you on the same page about how much it matters? Are you holding each other accountable? Is everyone okay with where this ended up?”

[nightswithkookmin]

Imo there is enough to support the possibility of a romantic relationship, but you are writing full on narratives with impossible specificity. You know what confirmation bias is but some young impressionable people dont yet . Forgive me but misleading with ' alt facts' can hurt someone even if you dont mean it. I think you are a good person not looking to hurt anyone. But the way you postulate without any evidence makes your actions a little but like those of a charlatan. Peace and kindness

All these kind words you spew...

It feels more like an advice than a question so I'm not sure how to respond to it...

Let me just say thank you? I never quite understood what the brouhaha was about with my posts but after talking to a few people, 'on the other side' lol and reading your Ask, I think I'm starting to get a better sense of what the problem is.

Something about young impressionable minds or people?

Let the council of elders know, those are not my audience please. I cater to a much more mature audience- at least so far. The people that I interact with and engage with on my posts on and off Tumblr are very mature and not impressionable at all.

They are People with brains who can tell an opinion from fact and can engage in deep complex controversial conversations without throwing up, shedding tears or cussing through to the heavens.

If there are 'impressionable people' reading my blogs- they do so at their own risk. If you know any such people or they run to you with my theories kindly point out to them it's just theory because that's what my opinions are.

I think the best thing you can do is to advice such people to grow up if they are going to sit at the adult table or not read my posts at all. I think you need to learn to hold the right people accountable for their actions.

The best I can do in this case- to hold myself accountable, is to put up a disclaimer on my posts to let people know what it is that they are reading- something I do quite often. But I will make conscious efforts to put up those disclaimers each time henceforth. Thank you.

That I write full on narratives with impossible specificity:

Is this Latin for, 'you write fiction get the fuck outta here?' Chilee.

I don't even know what you mean by this exactly so I may not be able to respond to it to your satisfaction. Bare with me.

So what if I write fiction? What is wrong with writing fiction? Do you hate fiction writers? I don't get what the hate is with these complaints honestly. Do you want me to put up a disclaimer stating my blogs are fiction? Would that help? I would glady do it.

If it helps you sleep at night think of my blogs as fiction- a rose by any other name. I've been keeping up with Shakespeare. Lol.

I don't think it's that deep. Listen, you gotta understand that just because we both 'ship' Jikook don't mean we are on the same team...

Most alt shippers I know and who read my posts and engage with it are not even Army to begin with, for your information. They could care less about these shipping politics of yours. Have you thought about that?

Some simply ship JK and JM and support them because they believe they are members of the LGBTQ plus community not because they are part of BTS.

There are different communities out there who are also into Jikook- for very different reasons. You gotta respect that.

To you, Jikook is just a ship within BTS that may or may not be real, but to some of us they have very much outgrown that description...

They are a brand of their own, a power couple and members of the LGBTQ plus community- Gay Icons extraordinaire. I think we take very different stock in Jikook. So stop trying to fit us all into one box.

It's disrespectful to try and control the way that people perceive their OTP and support them. Jikook don't just belong to Army Jokers, they belong to different communities outside Army. Are you aware of that?

And please don't confuse the intersect. I am an alt-shipper yes but I just so happen to be an Army too. But if I wasn't an Army, I'd still pretty much 'ship' and support Jikook- make no mistake. There are quite a few of us running around these streets, you know?

So you have every right to want to gatekeep your Army Jikook- but you have to do that without infringing on other rights of other 'Jikook communities.'

Throughout my blogs I have tried to shed light on what altshipping is because I thought it would help bridge the gap but clearly that hasn't worked. Sigh.

Misleading alt facts

Do you not know what it means or you are just being ironic?👀

Why is it ok for you to believe and proclaim that JK and BigHit lied about JK dating the Tattoo artist but it's not ok for me to believe JK is telling the truth when he says he didn't date her and that BigHit saw an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone- hence why they didn't press charges against the shop for breach of privacy like they had said they were going to do. Instead, they had asked the shop to keep calm till the scandal died down on it's own?

You start your piece off with the whole, 'there is enough evidence to support a romantic relationship' between JK and the tattoo shop lady- I assume.

For context, this Ask by this anon is in response to my recent post/ answer on the tattoo girl scandal where the topic of discussion was on BigHit, JK and the tattoo artist and not Jikook perse.

A statement that is in direct conflict with JK's statement, BigHit's and the lady in questions, all denying that there was a romantic relationship between her and Jungkook- and somehow I am misleading who- who now with my theory??? Chileee.

Do you see the problem here? Double standards- the hallmark of bigotry. Lmho. You are literally doing the very thing you are accusing me of. Making confident assertions and claiming you know more about JK and the Lady's relationship and even have 'enough evidence' contrary to BigHit, JK and the Tattoo artist's statements denying the rumors- at least when I theorize I admit I'm being delusional. What's your excuse? When you say charlatan are you referring to yourself? You must be. Lmho.

Now I'm confident in my comprehension skills and intelligent enough to know when you make an assertion like this- it is your opinion and you are just stating your opinion. If you are not then honey you'd be opening yourself up to some serious litigation... goodluck I guess. Lol.

You are allowed to form an opinion about a topic. There is nothing wrong with that. If to you, JK and this person dated that is fine. I am not going to cyber bully you, stalk you, throw slurs at you, harrass you, dox you, slid into people's Dms to spread hate and lies about you just because I don't agree with your opinion. And for the record, I don't agree with your opinion. Hehehehe.

I have stated my opinion on the matter. I said I think JK and this person did hang out, go on dates but that there was no romantic sexual relationship between them because I believe that would have had much serious consequences and effects on Jikooks dynamics no matter how much they tried to keep a cool facade. Whoever felt cheated on would have acted more insecure than usual post the incident- how does this make me a charlatan? Are you saying it's wrong it have an opinion? Chileee.

Now if you can produce 'evidence' of them having sex or even kissing, then I will gladly change my mind on the topic and not sweat it.

Jikook have done way worse questionable things in 7 good years and people still don't believe they are dating. Jk hangs out with a female friend a few times in less than a month and suddenly he is dating her? Lmho.

You don't need me to tell you people are more eager to accept a heterosexual relationship than wrap their heads around the fact that two male idols are gay and in a gay relationship with eachother. Don't you just love it when homophobia meets heteronormativity and stinks? I do. Lol.

I mean this is a fandom that thinks JK is 'too touchy' and doesn't respect his boundaries- they practically swear JK is cheating on Jimin with every member any time he hugs, kisses, wings at within the group. You think they will be 'objective' about JK hanging out with a girl? Even if it happened once?

You said something about confirmation bias.... I will not touch it. Lmho.

This is not the first time JK has gone on a date with a girl. This is not the first time he has 'dated a girl', he has hand girls on his laps or whatever- what is a back hug? I think people need to stop defining Jikook's lives by their own standards. If a backhug is intimate to you. Thats you. If you think a grown ass man cannot hang out with a female friend, that's equally you.

You think if he thought it was inappropriate and risky he would do it 'in public?' Get with Kpop Idol dating culture. Lmho.

Do you know the lengths they go through to keep their relationships a secret? Especially non celebrity girlfriends? Chen from EXO got married and where is his wife? They keep their flings tighter than Trump keeps his toupee on his head. Lol.

They hide them not out of shame but out of love and the need to protect their loved ones. These idols have family members who have their restaurants and businesses shut down because they want to keep their privacy.

You think JungKook's girlfriend would- on her own, issue a statement regarding a scandal that Jungkook's agency had specifically directed her and her shop to keep quiet about and lay low till it blew away on its own? And later, started liking couple posts about her and JK? If they were dating, certainly JK would have dumped her after that move. In my opinion.

You think JK would let his fandom drag the person he is in a relationship with to the extent she loses her Job- when in his Itaewon gay pub scandal BigHit referred to the issue as his private affair immediately it happened? They could have kept the same energy with her, no?

They handled his gay pub scandal much better, with much respect and consideration for his privacy- if he dated her sorry but she mustn't have meant much to him at all. And if I were her I would have dumped him for that shit and not stay liking couple posts about us. Damn- But do you.

Taehyung was in a scandal with a girl too- did you see her liking posts and shit and going out of her way to do the most? Did you see how BigHit handled that scandal?

Nothing wrong if JK is 'dating' her or had 'dated' her and whatever person he decides he wants to be in a relationship with I will support him- that's why I support Jikook.

But your opinion is equally valid my guy. Just don't call me a charlatan for mine. You believe they dated, I believe they didn't- and to your impressionable young minds, I hope you are not selling them anything contrary to BigHit and JK's statement. That would be very irresponsible of you. Lol.

What else did you say?

Oh postulating without evidence...

Next time I write a theory based on my observations about Jikook, remind me to break off a piece of my brain and attach it to it- I guess that way people would finally understand when I say things like 'I think' 'in my opinion' 'I feel' 'I believe' that these are just my thoughts and opinions and not facts.

Let me leave you with this:

Peace and kindness. Namaste.

Signed,

GOLDY.

[moonlitxraven]

Unreasonable Readings

Title: Unreasonable Readings Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan Relationships: TA! Levi / College student! Reader Rating: T Word Count: 1.3k

Summary: You have absolutely no motivation to do your readings and your boyfriend isn’t necessarily helping...

“I can’t do this.” “I don’t care anymore.” “Fuck this shit.” “Do I really need this class?”

Levi glanced over in your direction. That last question had been, what, your fifteenth complaint within the last five minutes or so? 

Rolling his eyes, he decided to ignore how much you were sounding like the first year brats he had to deal with on a bi-weekly basis and instead focus once more on editing his slide show for the content he would be reviewing in class next week. Though he knew all the material like the back of his hand, he still made sure to check himself against the stack of well-annotated papers every once and awhile just to double-check that he got all the spelling correct and the important dates in order. He didn’t necessarily mind the extra work of creating slides for his class as he had a hard time falling asleep at night anyway, but he did make sure to avoid including full paragraphs as his students always rushed to copy the information down word for word instead of listening to his actual lecture. It didn’t matter how many times he clearly stated that the slides would be posted before class for them to look over, review, print out, and/or take notes on: the damn brats never listened.

“Mr. Ackerman rushes the slides too much.” “How am I supposed to copy everything down and take notes?!” “Fuck my hand is cramping.”

With an annoyed sigh at the thought of his stubborn students, Levi tilted his head to the side to crack his neck. Nobody ever said being a TA was glorious, but that didn’t mean he had to take shit from barely legal brats with no clue how to even write a check without having to rush to their phones and consult the internet first. Rolling his shoulders to relax the tense muscles in his back, he closed his eyes and allowed himself a moment to clear his mind. 

Ah…

Silence.

…

Wait.

Silence?

Eyes now opened, Levi slightly twisted his body around in order to get a better look at you. While he sat behind the old, dark-oak desk propped against a corner of his small one-bedroom apartment’s tiny living room, you had opted to sit at the couch behind him, books scattered about and your laptop open a foot away upon the glass coffee table. 

When you originally asked about coming over after Levi’s graduate class and spending time with your boyfriend, he warned you that he would be getting work done for the class he was a TA in. You had waved off the warning with a smile, saying that it would be a productive night for the both of you as you planned on doing some reading to finish up your assignments as well. Though Levi was aware that the way you got work done differed from the methods he preferred, there was no way you could justify scrolling through social media instead of reading the opened pdf file on your laptop as being academically productive.

“Oi,” he called out, taking note of your movements as you tried to hide your surprise at being addressed. 

“Yes?” you answered from your position on the couch, casually slipping your phone underneath your thigh to hide it from view as your head, making sure to act natural. 

His eyes just narrowed at your less-than-subtle antics.

“You’re acting like those damn brats after I catch them online shopping on their phones during class,” he pointed out, calling you out on your behaviour.

You just laughed. Dating a TA was definitely interesting, especially one who was as strict as Levi in the classroom. You had a bad habit of procrastinating and Levi never failed to call you out on it, not that you really minded. Even though he taught your class last semester, he never demanded that you get your work done perfectly. Instead, he gave you the motivation to work on assignments yourself, albeit in his own crass way of course, and get everything all done. 

“Guilty as charged,” you replied, sending him a cheeky grin in jest. 

You weren’t really bothered, and to be honest, you would take any chance you could get at the moment to postpone the horribly boring, and frustratingly difficult reading, that you had been assigned in one of your elective classes. 

“What happened to actually getting work done?” he questioned you dryly, pointing a lone finger towards the brightly lit screen of your computer that you seemed to have abandoned on the table. 

“I give up,” you stated simply, shrugging your shoulders even though you knew that sooner or later you would have to get back to work. 

He didn’t say a word; he just silently raised an eyebrow at the simple phrase. Though you were well aware of the fact that your boyfriend was internally judging your lack of progress, you couldn’t help but find the blank stare he directed at you extremely attractive. Silence stretched between the two of you for a moment before you let out a groan, sagging against the soft white cushions Levi kept on his couch.

“This is just so stupid,” you explained, half-heartedly raising your arm to gesture vaguely at the computer screen.

Levi stayed silent, though he did get up from his seat at the desk and slowly made his way over to sit next to you as he waited for you to continue. Once he had gotten himself situated next to you, you pulled yourself together a bit more, and leaned forward towards your laptop, not quite done yet with what you had to say.

“I mean,” you continued, scrolling through the pdf, making sure to stop at parts that you deemed nastier than the others, “just look at this.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to read this shit?” you complained to him, pointing to a section in the text, “It’s a complete block of words! One whole paragraph! For a whole page!”

“Where are the spaces? Does the author not know what a space bar is? Did they not have an ‘enter’ key? Or a ‘return’? Who the fuck decided that this was an ideal format for reading text? How the fuck am I supposed to be able to comprehend anything when my eyes can’t even focus and stay on the same line?”

Finally finished with your little rant, you turned to face your boyfriend, raising your own eyebrow this time as you waited to hear what kind of comment he had to make. You were expecting a “tch”, a roll of his eyes, or even a “you complain worse than the brats barely passing my course”. What you weren’t expecting was the amusement in his slate-grey eyes and the slight upturn of his lips. Levi wasn’t the type to smile often, and seeing the rare expression on his face never failed to turn you soft.

“What~?” you pretended to whine, nudging his shoulder with your elbow as you tried to ignore the little butterflies that had made their way into your stomach.

He chuckled in response, reaching out and placing a hand on your head, making sure to ruffle your hair around a bit. You pretended to be annoyed at him, turning the other way to give him a bit of silent treatment. Not that you were ever able to stay mad at him for long, even if it was all just pretend. You only lasted a minute before you made your way back to him, and when you did, you couldn’t help but narrow your eyes at how the once endearing smile had turned itself into a sly smirk.

“Have you seen the shitty documents I have to work with for my graduate classes? You’d never stand a chance.”

[invisibleinorange]

Swelter Weather

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: M Warnings: None at this point. Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington,  Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties),  Bridgerton Family Dynamics, Eloise Bridgerton/Phillip Crane Characters: Colin Bridgerton,  Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Anthony Featherington,  Benedict Bridgerton,  Portia Featherington, Violet Bridgerton, Genevieve Delacroix Additional Tags:  Bridgerton, Polin

Summary: Colin Bridgerton is weary from travel and decides to spend the summer at the Aubrey Hall. While his initial plans were to avoid his perfect family, he ends up sharing the house with Eloise and Penelope. This is a Modern AU!

Additional Notes:  I still have plenty to write for my other series  but this is the first chapter in the Modern! AU which demanded release today.

There was something about the sweet freedom of being away from the crowded streets of London that Colin loved.  While he wasn’t quite ready for another adventure around the world, he did didn’t particularly care to spend the summer in his bachelor flat alone or at the family home surrounded by his perfect and over achieving siblings with their perfect marriages and lives.  Instead he opted to head to the family summer home in the countryside and it was everything he wanted.

He had fond memories of his childhood here.  Life was far less complicated when he and his siblings had been on fairly even footing.  There was nothing to worry about how they were going to spend their afternoons – hikes, swimming or even the occasional croquet battle.   No one had the same leisure between careers, families or school.

He had spent the last several weeks savoring his solitude and the quiet of Aubrey Hall. There were no schedules, no commitments and most importantly not a single person to bother her outside of the occasion phone call or text from a member of his family. If they were being especially annoying, he would turn it to silence and send them to voicemail until he would inevitable cave and respond because he did actually care about what was going on in their lives.

After a late night of eating takeout and watching a movie on Netflix, he had decided to simply not set an alarm clock for the next day. No one was going to complain about him sleeping in, so he did so. By the time he decided to move from his bed, the sun was already up the sky.  He wouldn’t have forced himself up then if it weren’t for the persistent growl of his stomach demanding his attention.  That was nothing new though. He was always hungry.

He pushed himself up from the comfort of his bed, padding his way down to the kitchen.   If his family had been there, he would have had to make some effort at making himself presentable but by having the house to himself, he could do as he pleased and that included going straight from bed to the kitchen.

He grabbed a frying pan and put on a couple of eggs before popping some bread in a toaster.  He hummed absently to himself as he moved back to the pan, working on properly scrambling his eggs.  He couldn’t quite remember the song but it was probably something he’d heard during his last stint in London at some social engagement or another.

“Colin,”  a voice came from behind, making him nearly jump in surprise at the sudden invasion of privacy.  He spun prepared to fight off the offender with a specula despite the fact he knew the voice belonged to Eloise.

He very quickly remembered his state of undress when he caught sight of not only his younger sister but also Penelope.  His eyes widened slightly and he froze, his face growing red with embarrassment. 

Penelope wasn’t any less pink. Their eyes met and then quirkly averted.  While he quite enjoyed the company of his sister’s best friend this was probably not something that would be on their topics of conversation.  He mentally cursed as his mind processed that over the years, he’d randomly had less than innocent dreams about the girl and a few of them started with happenstance just like this but Eloise was never part of them.  Now was not the time to let his mind linger to far there.  He decided to focus on the Eloise part.  His sister was a safe person to focus on.

Speaking of which, Eloise seemed to be the only person capable of taking action. She covered her own eyes, making a face that made it known that the whole situation was the stuff of terrors before blindly reaching for an apron that hung unused, extending it to her brother.

“Christ,” she muttered. “Cover yourself.”

Colin for his part did use it to cover his front not that the damage wasn’t already done. There was literally no way to escape the situation unscathed and he had no doubt his entire family would know about it by the end of the day. He really needed to go put on some actual clothing but first, well he felt like throwing an absolute hissy fit about the fact Eloise thought she could just show up unannounced.

“Did you think to maybe call before just showing up?

“It’s the family home. I don’t need your permission to show up. Besides, what kind of deviant runs around in the nude?  We need to sanitize the entire house now.”

“People who think they have the place to themselves,” he gruffed.

It was Penelope who came out of her shellshock enough to point toward the forgotten frying pan. “Uh, I think your eggs are burning,” she managed, though honestly it was any wonder the words came out in order.

“Shit,”  Colin murmured starting to turn back to the stove but it was Eloise who stopped him mid-spin.

“No,” Eloise said, reaching for the spatula and taking over the egg prep.  “We’ll finish this. You go find some pants for fuck’s sake. Penelope doesn’t want to see your ass. Right, Pen?”

Penelope was noticeably quiet for a long moment but to her credit she did nod at what Eloise was suggesting. It was probably for the best if he did find clothing. Colin decided to save Penelope (and his sister) from further embarrassment.  He moved past, trying to get to the door. He paused and did a little spin trying to keep some modesty not that there were any mysteries to be had at this point.

“Yes, wouldn’t want to traumatize her like that,” he said toward his sister before nodding, smiling cheekily toward her counterpart.  “Honestly, you can stay but  Eloise is ruining the fun. Try and ditch her before I come back, yeah?”

“I resent that,” he heard Eloise complaining after he left the room.

--

Penelope hadn’t been able to bear the thought of another summer locked away with her miserable family so when Eloise had offered the concept of a girl trip to the Aubrey Hall she’d eagerly accepted. It was only half way through the drive that the other girl had mentioned that they’d have to share the house with her brother.

The mere mention of Colin was enough to make Penelope’s heart skip a beat. She had a crush on him for more years than she could count anymore but he’d never given her any indication that he considered her more than a friend.  He was quite charming though and he was always kind.  When he would come home from jet setting around the world, he always made time to chat or dance with her.

It did very little to discourage the crush.

She had thought that with time and distance it would fade but all it took was a mention or a sighting for the whole dreadful thing to come racing back.  How Eloise wasn’t aware of the crush at this point was beyond her but since it was a relatively mute point he didn’t push it. She and Colin were friends but that was all they would ever be.

The last thing she’d expected upon arrival was for her eyes to be assaulted by full-frontal Colin. It wasn’t something she’d be forgetting anytime soon either.

“I’m sorry about that, Pen!” Eloise told her after a moment as she trashed the now slightly burnt eggs and decisively started over making enough to where they could all eat. It had been a long trip after all. “This stuff happens when you have brothers. At least he was alone not that it makes it any less gross.”

Penelope didn’t want to even think about that him having someone else there.  She nodded though. Eloise did have a point that she could only assume was accurate. She’d never had brothers of her own but she’d heard enough complaints about the Bridgerton Boys that she felt as if the mental picture was accurate.

“It wasn’t that gross,” Pen said after a long minute. “I mean, objectively Colin isn’t hard on the eyes.”

“Well he’s not your brother,” Eloise said making a face that made it pretty clear that she wasn’t interested in hearing how objectively not unattractive her best friend thought her brother was.  Maybe she didn’t know how far back it went and she wasn’t really aiming to ask questions about it but she was aware that Penelope had been into him at points.  She was also fairly sure at points her brother had probably been into her friend as well.  Nothing had come of it though and she definitely wasn’t going to try and encourage it lest it all go horribly bad.

Penelope didn’t push it for her part.

They began to work in silence creating a veritable breakfast feast for three and by the time Colin rejoined them wearing shorts a t-shirt they already had the plates made and juice poured.

“Well you might have invaded my very intimate breakfast this morning but I suppose I can forgive you for being angels who cook,” he said as she moved to take a seat at the table that was far too big for just three.  He did pause long enough to ruffle Eloise’s hair to mess with her before sitting in the end spot between the two girls.

“Someone has to be angelic when you’re clearly Satan incarnate,” Eloise responded stabbing a fork into her eggs and taking a bite.

“Only some of the time,” Colin confessed, laughing as he began to pick away at his plate. He offered a light smile toward their guest.  “Let’s be real, Pen is the only angel at this table. Us Bridgerton come from a long line of demons.”

Eloise made a fake gagging noise at that.

“That actually explains a lot,”  Penelope said after a long moment.

That managed to grab both of their attention, waiting to hear what she might have to say about demons and Bridgerton family members.

“I honestly believe you could be an incubus,” she said after a long moment, eyes directed toward Colin.

Colin nearly choked on a sausage at that, he recovered quickly though and fell into a fit on laughter.  Penelope always had been witty and the fact that she thought that he could be the incubus of the family was laughable. He wasn’t the person that most people thought him to be.  Of course, he was charming and could flirt with anyone but that didn’t mean he actually got anywhere. He couldn’t very well have his older brothers judging him for that though so he let people believe what they wanted to and didn’t go out of his way to correct them.

“You can’t just go around telling people that I’m a sex demon, Pen,” he said conspiratorially barely able to keep a straight face. “I mean, what I do in your dreams is between me and you.  Not everyone gets to survive with their soul intact.”

“You better not be doing anything to her in her dreams or your own,” Eloise said, kicking him in the shin. “My friend is off-limits.”

Colin frowned, reaching down to rub his shin.  He wanted to tell Eloise to mind her own business but before he could Penelope seemed to take it upon herself to handle that.

“Little late for that,” Penelope said knowing that by saying so she was declaring sides in this sibling battle.  Colin couldn’t be more smug about it either. Eloise looked as if she could kill them both.

“I’ll try to behave moving forward but I do hope it was as good for you as it was good for me,”  he said, though from the shit-eating grin on his face it was pretty clear that he wasn’t sorry at all.  Especially when his gaze moved from Penelope back to Eloise.  “Sorry El, I couldn’t help myself.”

“Of course not,”  Eloise said, shaking her head.

If this was how the summer was going to go, it was going to be a long one.

[saxxxology]

a night alone (oneshot)

You and Sam take advantage of your last night away from the Bunker to fan the fire of your relationship.

PAIRING: Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader WARNINGS: a/b/o dynamics, smut NOTE: Do not save or repost my work without my consent. This work is 18+ only.

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It’s been a long week. You and Sam have been on the road for two of the six days, trying to get back to the Bunker in a timely manner. It’s summer, and several music festivals across the midwest are building up more traffic than you want to think about. By the time you call it quits on your second day of driving, both of you are tired, pent-up, and want nothing more than to find somewhere to blow off steam. 

You haven’t been mated very long, only a couple of months. Sam’s been the one to undergo the most adjustment since; he’s constantly on high alert, scenting out anything that shows the least sign of foreignness and blocking it out and away from you, just in case it could be dangerous. 

The motel you find is nearly full, and you settle for a double-queen even though you know only one of the beds will be used. It’s cleaner than most rooms you’ve had over the last few years with the Winchesters, but Sam, of course, sets about tidying it up. Pillows are fluffed and dusted off, the sheets checked for bed bugs or stains, and the shower undergoes a quick test for hot water. 

“Are you hungry?” he asks, stepping close as you toe off your boots. “I can order something. Anything you want.”

You hum when he lowers his head, pressing warm lips to yours. “Pizza.”

“Pizza it is.” He kisses you deeper, cupping your face in both hands and sighing deeply before pulling back. “You look tired. Take a bath, I’ll call when it’s here.”

You smile gratefully and snag a nightshirt and your toiletries from the top of your suitcase. The bath is nearly perfect, and you happily scrub yourself clean with your favorite peach-scented body wash and soak in the warm water until Sam knocks on the door. 

The scent of pizza fills the air when you step out into the air-conditioned room. Sam’s already munching on a slice as he reclines on the bed, watching a rerun of a forensics show on TV. He switches it to the news, knowing you’ll find it more interesting after the particularly gory ghoul hunt you’ve just finished.

“I love this,” you take a huge bite of pizza and bring the box onto the bed. “I’m starving.”

Sam chuckles and holds his arm up to let you in against his side. “I can tell. We should be able to get back tomorrow night, if there’s no more traffic like there was today.”

“It’s only one state, we should be fine.” You rest your head against his shoulder and fold your slice in half, sighing gratefully as you take another large bite. 

The news winds down finishes just as you and Sam decide you’ve had enough to eat and toss the box onto the table. He clicks the television off and turns to press his nose into the crook of your neck. 

“You smell so good,” he sighs, pressing a kiss to your soft, sweet skin. “You used that peach stuff again.”

“Mmm.” You giggle when he rolls on top of you, using his hips to wedge your legs apart. “I’m almost out.”

“I’ll buy you a new bottle,” Sam replies, one hand sliding down to feel under your nightshirt. “No panties?”

“Figured you might want to take advantage of us being alone for one more night,” you reply smoothly, “since we were both too tired last night.”

He smirks, leaning back to strip his shirt up and over his head. “I’ll make up for it, baby. Spread open for me.”

You obey, watching him tug the button and zipper of his jeans open. He strokes himself roughly, cheeks reddening as you pull your nightshirt off and throw it to the ground. You’re already responding to him, shining wet and swollen between your thighs. He watches you squeeze your breasts, teasing him with the sight. 

“You really are somethin’,” he groans, rubbing the tip of his cock against your folds, lips parting when you reach down to touch him. He pushes your hand away, tangling your fingers together as he shifts closer. “Don’t,” he whispers, “lemme do it, baby.”

You chew on your lower lip, moaning softly as he presses against your entrance. He sinks in slow, watching your mouth open and your body quiver as he fills you deeper and deeper until his pelvis is tucked against the swell of your ass. 

“Oh, Jesus…” he lets out a sigh and drapes his body over yours, resting his forehead against yours, “‘mega, you feel so good… so warm and soft.”

You wrap your legs around his waist, using your feet to shove his jeans down his thighs. He kicks them off, laughing when you have to shift with him, and then he plants his knees on the mattress, pins your hands on either side of your head, and gives you a good, hard thrust. Sam muffles your loud whimper with a kiss that makes your head spin.

“Be careful,” you whisper when he grinds his hips, “don’t make me sore like you did last time.”

Sam grins, remembering how you’d been almost bed-ridden the last time he’d had his way with you. “I won’t,” he replies, “I promise.”

His hands squeeze yours as he falls into a gentle rocking motion. He keeps a firm grip on your hands, kissing you hard until you can’t breathe as his hips keep your legs spread wide and open.

“Right there,” you moan, “right there, Alpha, please—”

A heavy grunt escapes Sam’s mouth when you squeeze around him, responding to the way he’d thrust against your sweet spot. “Fuck, ‘mega… so fucking wet.”

He gives a little twist of his hips, and your body arches up, rubbing against him in a way that makes his stomach clench. His lips seal at the base of your throat, sucking a bruise onto your skin. Your nails press into his buttocks, and he growls possessively. 

“Harder,” you urge, “a little harder, Alpha…”

He gives you what you ask for, thrusting harder and deeper and making the smack of your bodies echo in the room. The bed rattles with the force of it, headboard tapping against the wall. You’re sure to raise a noise complaint, but Sam can’t give less of a shit. Anyone stupid enough to interrupt an Alpha in the middle of coitus is asking for their head to be ripped off.

He pulls his knees under him, lifts your thighs over his hips, and grabs hold of your waist. You like this angle more than anything, and he can watch your body bounce and ripple as he fucks you. 

“Ohhh… yes…!” Your voice rises a half-octave as he fucks you closer to climax. “You’re gonna make me—”

He cuts you off with a loud growl, fingers surely leaving marks on your flesh. It almost hurts, how tight he’s gripping you, but you love it all the same. He doesn’t slow his thrusts as your orgasm mounts, crests, and comes crashing down. He holds you firm, not stopping even as you begin to squirm and whimper. He knows your body well—he’ll stop when he knows you can’t take any more.

“That’s it, baby,” he praises breathlessly, “I’m almost there…”

He barely manages a dozen hard, sweaty thrusts before his knot swells. He grinds in deep, coming back to lie over you, and lets go with a loud grunt. His orgasm comes hard and fast, and he rides the wave as long as he can before slumping over you and burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“I love you,” he groans wearily. “There’s nothin’ I wouldn’t give to have you like this forever, y’know?”

You giggle and playfully slap his shoulder. “You’re such a sap.”

“For you.” He grins and lifts his head to kiss you. “I vote we spend a day in bed when we get home.”

“Definitely.” You squirm under his weight. “I could fall asleep like this.”

Sam chuckles, trailing a finger over your cheek. “Let’s clean up before you do that, yeah?”

You can’t help but laugh when he nuzzles the ticklish spot under your chin. “Fine… and maybe we should use the other bed to sleep in.”

He nods, stubble scraping across your skin. “I’ll second that suggestion.”

Comments and reblogs are lovely :)

FOREVER TAGS: @atc74 @defenderrosetyler @daughterofthenight117 @emberocrpblog​ @emoryhemsworth​ @ellen-reincarnated1967​ @fangirl-and-medstudent-help​ @fandom-princess-forevermore​ @heartsaved​ @kittenofdoomage​ @kickingitwithkirk​ @lovelyrocker​ @lunarsaturn88​ @mariekoukie6661​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​ @neii3n​ @nellachain​ @percussiongirl2017​ @ssworldofsw​ @squirrel-moose-winchester​ @sea040561​ @sammysnaughtygirl​ @starsandasteroids​ @spnwoman​ @serpentbaby​ @thecleverdame​ @tumbler-tidbits​ @thelittleredwhocould​ @winecatsandpizza​ @zombiewerewolfqueen​ @85natalie​ @4won​

[thirstystarkey]

PARTNERS IN CRIME OR LOVERS? • RAFE CAMERON

I said you look pretty. All strung out on coke You said it's not funny But it wasn't a joke And you won't remember But I carried you home You sat in the shower While I washed off your clothes

Rafe had already thrown up twice in that party, crying out in agony and saying nonsense that was when Kelce and Topper decided it was best to call Y/N to handle the situation, even though Rafe and Y/N had broken up a few months ago she was the only one who could snap Rafe off that hazy state and bring him back. He drank way too much and the alcohol mixed with coke probably harmed him a little which ended up in a terrific hangover in the next day but it didn’t scare Y/N any less when her friends came up to her saying Rafe was all messed up in Topper’s room.

“Again?” She asked, worried, once Kelce explained the situation.

“He is out of it ma.” Kelce said scratching the back of his head, fixing his snapback.

“I’ll go see him.” Y/N shrugged her shoulders placing her beer down in the countertop. “Thanks for letting me know guys.” She patted their shoulders as she walked between Topper and Kelce. “And I’m sorry for him Topper.” She added.

“Nothing new.” Topper laughed.

With a loud sigh she stepped into Topper’s room where Y/N found Rafe laying in the ground, holding a pillow he took from his best friends bed. Rafe was talking to himself in confused mumbles until he saw Y/N, who knelt down to his face, sitting down.

“There you are pretty girl.” He said with a smile, dragging the words with difficulty. He was really out of it. “I missed youuu.” He blew her a kiss. “This isn’t any fun without babyyyyy.”

“Rafe, lets go come on.” Y/N brushed his sweaty hair of his forehead. “Kelce and Topper told me you already threw up twice.”

“Ugh.” Rafe whined rolling into Y/N lap to lay his head on her thighs. “Snitches get stitches!” He screamed closing his hands in a fist, fighting the air.

“Oh my god, what am I gonna do with you.” Y/N said desperate as Rafe kept on rambling nonsense. “We need to get you out of here, troublemaker.” Y/N tried to get up but as soon as she moved his head the only thing she heard beside his complaints was the loud tod of his head banging the ground.

“Autch” Rafe cried out pouting his lips.

“Here, come on big boy.” Y/N giggled watching Rafe struggle to get up on his own.

He was almost a giant beside her but Y/N still hugged his waist firmly to keep him up. He stumble on a few steps of the stairs making Y/N curse as they made their way outside. Rafe insisted on saying goodbye to his best friends trying to slip a few sips of beer which Y/N quickly slapped his hand of the cups.

“We are leaving. Now!” With a serious voice she pulled him outside.

“Uhhh I like it when you talk like that mama.” Rafe whistle making her face turn bright red, sometimes especially when he got this high he forgot they weren’t a couple anymore.

Y/N strapped his seatbelt in place before closing his door and turning the engine of her car on. During the way Rafe changed the song almost hundred times getting impatient, Y/N knew she couldn’t take him back to his home because if Ward saw his son in that state he would freak out and probably beat his ass.

“I’m hungry.” He said turning to her, turning off the radio. “Yo quiero Taco Bell.” He sang.

“You look so pretty.” Y/N laugh looking at him briefly while she took a turn into her street.

“This isn’t funny Y/N.” Rafe whined once again.

“I have leftovers at my place.” She said parking the car. “You can eat them, and the ice cream.” She added and Rafe rubbed his hands together at the thought of food.

“Do you have that disgusting frozen pizza?” Rafe asked excited towering over Y/N as she unlocked the door to her apartment.

“Keep it down Rafe, people are sleeping!” She said pulling him inside her house, he hadn’t been there in a long time.

She sat him down on the couch before she could run him a cold shower in all hopes that the freezing water could help sobering him a little bit. Once she has everything ready and a change of clothes for him, since Y/N still had dozen of his hoodies and sweats laying around her house, she walked toward the living room where she found a faded Rafe arguing with the television.

“What’s the matter now?” Y/N asked, one hand on her hip.

“I wanna watch netflix.” Rafe answered, words escaping through a large drunken smile.

“What you need is a cold shower.” She said put Rafe nodded no. “Yes you need one, come one, lets go.” Without giving the boy time to argue she pulled him straight up.

Now in the bathroom Y/N tried to beg Rafe not to fall while he was taking of his shirt, ignoring her pleads.

“Wanna join me?” He asked with a smirk on his lips, undoing his belt.

“Rafe!” She said loudly. “No, get in the shower.” She pointed to the bathtub before leaving him alone.

Her cheeks were still bright red from his questions, not that she didn’t want Rafe anymore because she knew she did what she didn’t want was to be a casual faded fuck. Rafe got extremely needy when he got to this point and Y/N had to collect all her willpower not to give in.

Once she heard the water running and Rafe complaining about the coldness she knew she could get his dirty clothes from the bathroom, so she did, slowly walking making sure it was safe and grabbing his disposed clothes.

“I know you are there.” Rafe laughed, poking his head through the end of the curtain.

“Hurry up, you need to eat something and sleep it off.” She warned walking out.

“Okay mommy.” Rafe joked once the door was closed again.

Y/N let out a big sigh and made her away to the laundry to put his dirty clothes in the washing machine, pressing some buttons and after a couple seconds it was spinning, Y/N leaned into it thinking about the all situation, her parents weren’t the biggests fans of having Rafe alone in her house with their daughter, but Y/N ignored them. Her friends also warned her about him which she tried to play cool saying “that’s what friends do” even though she knew friends didn’t act like they did.

Everything was a mess but she felt a strange wave of serenity rushing over her once she heard Rafe’s voice again, calling out for her.

“You still have this?” He asked pointing at the hoodie.

“Of course I do, what did you expected me to do? Throw it out of the window?” The girl giggled open the freezer, to grab the pizza Rafe asked for in the car.

“I thought you’d get rid of my clothes.” He confessed with a frown.

“But they’re comfy.” Y/N stated obviously while the pizza spinned inside the microwave.

Rafe had a slight smile on his cheeks, he was still pretty faded but not to much to the point of being a chaotic mess. His fell into his forehead smoothly and his black sweats along with the grey hoodie made him look ten times even more cuddly than he already was.

Y/N gave him a plate with three generous slices of pizza and a cup of orange juice, once he was comfortable in the couch she sat beside him, opening netflix letting him chose something.

“Want some?” He asked, politely, offering her.

“No, I’m good thanks Rafe.” Y/N smiled at his gesture.

“He should watch Resident Evil.” He pointed at the screen with a mouth full.

“Again?” Y/N laughed, it seemed like they’d always watch those movies together.

“It’s tradition babyyy” Rafe said and eventually she ended up playing it.

When he was done eating Rafe got up to place the plates into she sink even though Y/N told him he didn’t have to, she didn’t want him to fall or anything, he came back to the couch laying down in the free seats with his head on her lap, Y/N smelled the fresh shampoo on his hair giving her a huge urge to play with his hair.

“Can you massage my head?” Rafe looked at her, almost like he read her mind.

Y/N automatically started to play with his hair, massaging his scalp in pleasant patterns which made Rafe moan softly at her touch he so dearly craved. A few hours passed by and Rafe was fast asleep but Y/N was wide awake looking at him, making sure he was fine and also admiring his soft features.

When Rafe slept he’d always look so peaceful, his face looked relaxed and his hair looked extremely soft. The calm breaths leaving his body making his chest move slightly, it was a sight to see. Y/N loved when Rafe was calm and out of trouble, even if he wasn’t her boyfriend anymore. Which lead her into thinking if someone walked towards her front door and saw them like these what would they think of them? Would they think they were lovers or partners in crime? Would they think they were just friends? Maybe fools? She couldn’t stop thinking about that and she wondered was he thinking the same? Was he dreaming of her? Was Rafe dreaming about when he one night begged his girlfriend to leave everything behind and run away from Outer Banks to start fresh somewhere no one knew them, what was he dreaming about? She questioned herself as she kept on playing with his hair, carressing his face.

Tag list 💞

@koufaxx @majoroof @thatsonobx @starkeybaby @this-is-bigger-than--us @tomzfrog @alotbnouf @jj-maybank-stan @jellyfishbeansontoast @rafecamerondeservesbetter @tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar @tembo-ndoto @poguebx @k-k0129 @kieinred @obxmxybxnk @lcil123 @fandom-phaser @sexualparkour @myrandom-fandomlife @lasnaro @sw-eat-ing @kiarascarreras @jjswhore @milamaybank @downbytheouterbanks @write-from-the-heart @justcallmesams @annedub @drizzlethatfalls @tovvaf @drewswannabegirl @whoreforouterbanks @newhopenessie @maybebanks @poguesrforlife @shawnssongs @wastedheartcth @rudyypankow @danicarosaline @sc4rlettm @hufflepeople @punkrainbows @obliviatevamps @trustfundparker @annoylinglyaries @sexytholland @5am-cigarette @softstarkey

[hopeswriting]

FANDOM: Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

EVENT: Flufftober 2020 

PROMPT: Cuddling

AUTHOR: @hopeswriting​

RATING: G

PAIRING: Adult!Lal & Adult!Fon

SUMMARY:

Lal comes home after yet another unsuccessful meeting with an agent. [Modern!AU]

Tag warning: Self depreciating language, Non serious wish of self harm (Lal is just being dramatic)

WORDS: 582 (BONUS: 1413)

*

Lal doesn’t slam the door closed behind her. She doesn’t throw her bag nor her coat down the leaving room, and doesn’t kick away her shoes after removing them like they’re soccer balls.

She closes the door and collapses on the previously-blanketed-and-pillowed-by-Fon floor, half in the entryway, half in the living room, still fully clothed.

Fon sends a “Quicksand Lal” text to the others to let them know they can’t come in right now.

At least her eyes weren’t red-rimmed, and she didn’t look about to burst into tears.

“I’m the one mistake god kept in this world to remind themself to never commit such an atrocity again.”

Fon winces. Well then, now he would just have to find the name of this last agent, editor, whoever, so they can have a little chat.

Did they have to make her leave their meeting in such a state every time?

He thinks the fuck not.

“You’re my very favorite person on earth, and I simply would have had to fist fight god to make you if he didn’t already do it.” Fon lies down too in the other direction, his head at the same level as Lal’s. “I would have won too, by the way.”

Lal huffs a laugh, sad and weak. She hides her face with her hood, closer to tears than Fon first thought.

“Why do I even keep trying?”

“Because it’s who you are. You never let the world put you down for long, and you’re not about to start now. I won’t let you.”

“Why fucking bother?” She kicks the bag at her feet, sends it flying against the wall. “How hard can it be to write a decent book? I’m just incompetent.”

Fon gently removes the hood and the hair out of her face. He brings her close, and lies on his back so she can rest her head on his chest.

“It’s very hard. But you’ll work on it again and make it better.”

“If you truly have any ounce of love for me at all, you’d snap my neck right now and spare me the humiliation of my existence.”

“You’ll work on it again as many times as you need, until every one else recognize its worth.”

“If you truly care for me, you’d burn to the ground any traces of my writing you could find.”

“And then we could make the round of all these agents who refused you, and throw a copy of your published book in their face.” Fon weaves his fingers through her hair, scratches her scalp. He peers down at her. “Wouldn’t that be nice?”

Lal glances at him briefly, and grows more of a dead weight on him. “You don’t even like my book.”

“I don’t like any books. I’m illiterate, remember? Words pretty to look at, hard to read.”

Lal snickers, something brief but genuine, and flicks him blindly somewhere along his jawline. She crawls on her knees to drape herself over him like some heavy, comfort-seeking blanket.

Fon wraps his arms around her and holds her tight, stroking her back in a soothing manner.

“Hey?” he says softly. She hums. “There’s people out there waiting to have their whole life changed by your book, so I better see you working on it.”

Lal nuzzles his neck. “Deal.”

“I brought ice-cream too. Chocolate and hazelnuts flavored.”

Lal sighs dreamily. “You’re the only man I’ll ever lie my life down for. Marry me.”

Fon chuckles. “Well, don’t go tell Colonnello that.”

*

BONUS:

Okay buckle up because I have thoughts for this verse.

This is a Civilians!Arco, Roommates!Arco, Polyamory!Arco, Slice of Life, Adulting Wrong, Modern AU.

But let's just go with the Arcobaleno Adulting Wrong AU lol.

(And I say civilians as in, their flames are dormant, but they could become active at literally any given moment, because I think it has the potential to be funny but I just didn’t figure out how yet.)

------

Lal and Fon meets in high school. Fon is the new foreign student in her class, and she’s asked to be the person he can turn to if he needs help.

They become best friends, stick together from then on, through high school and college, and decide they’ll live together.

They find themselves a nice two rooms apartment, but it turns out quickly it’s too nice for them.

So they send the word they're looking for a roommate.

------

Reborn and Colonnello are childhoods best friends. They stick together until high school, then go their separate way after that.

(They do stay in contact though, even if it’s nothing significant at all.)

Reborn majors in Math and minors in Social Studies, and comes out of college as its best student ever without breaking a sweat.

He opens a coffee shop, and finds a studio within his budget, and everything is fine.

Except nothing is fine because Reborn can live in nothing else but at least above average comfort, and his studio definitely does not qualify.

Until his business gets popular and he gets rich, he figures he can bear living with someone else in the meantime.

He finds Lal’s and Fon’s add, but the part he’s supposed to pay still doesn’t quite fit in his budget.

He calls Colonnello.

------

Colonnello is a rich boy. He doesn’t live with his parents anymore, but still absolutely depends on them financially.

They’re the one paying his nice apartment while he’s going through college. He majors in International Business while being the college star basketball athlete.

Here’s the thing though, Colonnello couldn’t care less about it all. He’s doing it because that’s what he’s expected to do.

(Well, he does like baseball, and sports in general, but he doesn’t want to make that for a living.)

But here’s the other thing, Colonnello doesn’t know what the hell he wants to do with his life.

He’d love to step out of the path decided for him to his own path—that’s the only thing he wants actually—, but he literally never knew anything else?

He only ever had to conform to others’ expectations of him, so he kind of comes empty when he tries to think of the alternative.

Somehow he comes to the conclusion serving in the army is what will give him answers.

But then Reborn calls, and he figures becoming independent of his parent’s money is maybe a more reasonable first step to take.

He becomes Reborn’s business partner, and moves in with him with Lal and Fon.

------

Skull hates school. He’s good at school, but he can’t believe he has to legally waste so much time of his life in there.

His parents are adamant he makes it all the way through college, so he makes a deal they won’t be allowed to tell him ever again how to live his life once he does.

He majors in Communication, Social Media and Web Marketing, minors in Sustainable Fashion Design, and then spends every walking living second of his life working to become a pro dancer and nothing else.

Except he still needs a roof above his head, but doesn’t want it to be a too big responsibility on his shoulders, so he looks for roommates.

He finds Lal’s and Fon’s add, but they already have Reborn and Colonnello, but even with the four of them the rent proves to be too pricey still, so they let Skull sleeps in the living room while they look for a new apartment.

They find a nice, four bedrooms apartment, of someone looking for roommates, and thankfully they don’t mind there are five of them.

Skull becomes Reborn’s and Colonnello’s business partner, takes care specifically and only of marketing them on social media, and points out that maybe they’d want to hire some employees for the shop.

------

Verde is the one living in the four room apartment, looking for roommates.

Verde is still a genius in this, and his parents were genius of their own, and they’re dead now but they left him loaded with money.

That’s how he pays the apartment, and everything else in his life, because he lives as a literal hermit and certainly does not have a job.

He never had a job in his whole life actually, and he’s fine with it.

Here’s the thing though, he’s terrible with money. And yeah his parents were geniuses, but the average kind of geniuses, and he’s starting to run kind of low in terms of money.

So he looks for roommates to buy himself as much time as he can.

And he sucks it up when he sees what kind of roommates exactly he summoned in his life lol.

------

Viper is… fucking tired of living in a Society, actually. Did they fucking ask? They fucking didn’t.

They make it until high school and straight up refuse to go to college, no matter what their parents say.

But, yes, they suppose they have to do something with their life. Yes, they’re working on it, they are, they swear.

It’s their 24th birthday, and their parents tell him if by next year they didn’t get their shit together, they’ll have no choice but to kick him out.

Viper immediately tweets this injustice, because, you see, they’re an influencer.

“Influencer.”

It started with them live blogging their whole life with a heavy dose of complaints and dark humor and cynicism, and somehow they made it popular.

And then companies started reaching out to them and, well, they weren’t about to say no to some money.

I wouldn’t say they’re liked though.

Popular? Yes. Liked? Let’s not go that far lmao. Make people talk about them and distract them from their own life? Absolutely.

Viper would die within the first 30 minutes of living in the streets, so they look for a part-time job to try to soothe their parents.

They become cashier at the coffee shop.

Except it doesn’t soothe their parents at all, so when they meet the deadline, they just move in with the others Arcobaleno.

------

Luce is… I’m still hesitating for Luce.

She can be their neighbor, and the only one among them who actually has her life together and under control and going exactly as she wants it to go.

And they kind of secretly hates her because of it, but the spite helps them try harder to get their shit together.

On the other hand she’s genuinely very supportive of them, which not many people in their life are—if any—, because she believes in the beauty and strength and bravery of pursuing your dreams no matter what, and they love her so much for it.

Also she indulges and encourages every last one of their bad decisions, which undoubtedly makes everything worse, but everyone is happy not to point it out.

OR she can be just like them, doing what is essentially procrastinating into adulthood.

I think both have the potential to be funny, but let’s go with the second one for consistency’s sake.

------

Luce has a whole thriving enterprise to inherit from her parents, but no, thank you very much, she wants to make her own mark in the world.

She majors in European & International Business, minors in Entrepreneurship & Innovation, and sets out to make her own mark in the world.

She works in her parent’s enterprise in the meantime, but only because she’ll need money to make her own mark in the world, and also, you know, to live until she makes her own mark in the world.

Which is absolutely a work in progress, she’s working on that right now. Making her own mark in the world.

Luce doesn’t have any fucking clue what she wants her own mark in the world to be. Or more like, she wants to do so many things!

When she talks to Colonnello about saving money so she can try to do as many things as she needs to, he tells her about how they totally could use another roommate to pay their bills.

She becomes a server at the coffee shop.

*

Okay so I do have more thoughts for this verse, but it’s going to be too long if I write them all at once lol. Here’s part 2!

Thank you for reading! Any and all review are appreciated ^^.

[fanficfeeling]

Lovely Part 2 - Jaskier x Reader

A/N: Hey everyone! Wow! Part 1 received far more positive feedback than I thought it would! I'm super grateful to everyone who read part one, or left a comment, or was just very encouraging, you've really helped re-spark my love for writing <3 Boy, this took way too long to finish, but I just really wanted to make sure it held up the first part at least a little! I hope you enjoy this part as well, and I'm planning on writing at least one more part to this after this, so let me know if your interested in that/how much more of this story you're interested in seeing! Either way I'm planning on continuing to write for The Witcher, and on starting to post for other fandoms (of which I'll be posting a list soon!) so if you like my work please follow or just keep an eye out! Love you guys.

Summary: 3 times Jaskier has done his best to distract Y/N from the less enjoyable parts of her life.

Part 1

Warnings: Brief language warning.

Tagged: @failure-of-the-day (I might be assuming but I thought you might like to be tagged!) @ultracolorfulnerdcollection @blue-hoodies-for-life @athenaisalpha

~~

Y/N found out rather quickly that spending time with Jaskier is a surefire way to bring a smile to her face. Her job can be depressing, Geralt is often silent at the most inopportune times, and travelling for such long distances can be boring, but Jaskier is none of those things, and often goes out of his way to grab her attention from that which brings down her mood.

For instance, moments like this one: Y/N has returned to this small town's inn after helping the townspeople for the day, feeling like the weight of the world is on her shoulders after the day she's had. Geralt hasn't returned from his monster slaying yet, so she seeks out Jaskier for company.

When she finds him in his room, he's laying on his bed, writing something down on a piece of paper haphazardly, using his propped-up knee as a work surface. As impractical as the position seems, he looks comfortable: laid back, his normal, fancier wear tossed aside for a simple white shirt and comfortable trousers, and a smile upon his face. It take Y/N all of a second to decide that the look does him great justice.

"Jaskier." Y/N starts, making him aware of her presence.

He looks up, briefly startled, but when his eyes come to rest on her, his smile widens, "Hello, Y/N."

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm back in for the evening."

"I'm glad! It was getting boring around here with no company. Please, come in, sit down." Y/N expects him to gesture to the chair against the wall in invitation, but he simply moves his feet and makes room on his bed for her. She means to be more proper about coming into his space, but as she approaches, she finds that she ends up throwing herself down onto the bed, her exhaustion weighing down her bones.

This seems to be the first time Jaskier notices her mood is off, "Hey, everything alright?"

Y/N looks at him sheepishly, "Just a long day is all. How was yours?"

Taking the hint that she wasn't up for talking about it, Jaskier indulges her, "I started writing a new song today, and I have to admit, it's taken up pretty much all of my time. It's-"

It's all Y/N can do to stay focused on his words for that long, as images of ill people, broken homes, and crying children fill her mind. This town is lucky to have an inn still standing, considering all the havoc beasts nearby have caused. Why must monsters even have to exist like this at all? Why must innocent people suffer for mindless, bloodthirsty crazes? Why does Y/N dedicate herself to cleaning up messes that aren't even hers?

"Y/N?" She looks up at Jaskier at the sound of his persistent voice, and it isn't until she attempts to speak that she realizes she's begun crying. She also finds that she can't find anything to say to him to make an excuse for her state.

He doesn't question any further though, and swiftly gives her a soft smile, before setting aside his papers and opening his arms, beckoning her towards him.

She doesn't even think about it as she crawls towards him and re-positions herself so that he can envelop her in a hug, as she lays her head against his chest. Just being there quickly quiets the tears, but Jaskier doesn't let go, and for that Y/N is grateful.

They sit in silence as Y/N calms herself, and eventually Jaskier leans down a little bit to kiss her forehead and whisper, "Whatever you've been through, please just remember that I'm here for you and that your soul is good, and deserves to be returned the help and goodness that you give."

Oh yeah, that's why she does it all. However hard it can be, it's the good she does that keeps her moving.

~~~

The next time Jaskier goes out of his way to lift Y/N's mood, Y/N and Geralt are sitting at a table in another tavern, completely silent. Normally Y/N has no issues with respecting their silence, she often enjoys it, but her work involved a lot of repairs today, and she barely had any human connection at all throughout the day. She fidgets, doing her best not to disturb Geralt as he seems to contemplate something—she knows he has his own demons swimming around in his mind—but she worries that if she doesn't do something stimulating soon, she very well might burst.

Jaskier descends from the rooms above the tavern space, looking to begin his own work for the night as an entertainer. He had gotten permission from the owner of this establishment earlier in the day to perform in the space, and as it got on into the evening, he knew that now was his prime time. He had cleaned himself up, decided on his song list, and was ready to go.

As he looked around the tavern sizing up his audience, his eyes came to rest upon his travelling companions. Geralt seems lost in thought, and Y/N... Y/N seems downright bored. Knowing that she's been having a rough go of it lately with her work, Jaskier quickly decides that he cannot let this stand.

He swiftly changes his course and makes his way towards their table, a plan only half formed in his mind, and when he stops in front of them he finds himself asking, "Y/N, could I ask a favor of you?"

She looks at him, curiosity in her eyes and a soft smile on her mouth—a goddess in the flesh, he thinks—and he continues, "I have some songs that I was planning on playing tonight, and I would like to see how they fare as duets. Would you join me?"

Jaskier doesn't know by what miracle she says yes, and neither does she, really, but soon the two fall into a groove that brings the attention, and coin, of the patrons. They stumble through the first few songs, rousing some laughs from their audience, until they get to "Toss A Coin To Your Witcher", and the audience joins in singing with them. The pair puts on a show as they sing and they dance, and the audience adores it.

After a rendition (or several) of Jaskier's hit song, many of their audience members start to fall away, so the bard takes that as a hint to start slowing things down.

"Y/N, how would you feel about rounding this performance off by performing "Her Sweet Kiss" with me?"

Y/N's heart skips a beat. She's heard the way he sings that song, and the emotion he puts into it is always enough to bring her near to tears.

"I would be honored."

He starts the beginning off himself, and cues her when to come in. "So tell me love, tell me love, how is that just?" Jaskier never breaks eye contact with Y/N as they sing, and she utters no complaints as it feels like he bears his soul to her while gazing deeply into hers.

"I'm weak, my love, and I am wanting. If this is the path I must trudge, I'll welcome my sentence, give to you my penance, garroter, jury, and judge."

When Y/N had wished for human interaction, this was not what she had expected, but fuck her if it wasn't far better.

As the song comes to a close, Y/N still can't find it in her to look away from his eyes, but luckily for her, it seems that neither can he. The applause of the crowd goes unnoticed by both until the moment passes on its own.

"Thank you, for doing this with me, Y/N."

"Thank you for asking, Jaskier."

~~~

While traveling is, of course, a luxury, just the act of getting somewhere new isn't always the most enjoyable of activities. Travelling may be an integral part of Y/N's job, but knowing that is rarely enough to make her feel better about her soreness from riding her horse, or the boredom she feels as they slowly move along on empty side roads, past endless fields. Yet, this is ultimately a part of her job, so she grins and bears it for the satisfaction of helping people and the coin it brings.

Jaskier, in all his many observations of this captivating do-gooder, begins to notice that she rarely has a good time between locations. He notices that she has no way to occupy herself, besides just listening to him ramble, and he notices that she doesn't seem to plan on doing anything to remedy that situation. So, he resolves to do so himself.

"Y/N," He begins as he sits on her horse behind her, one arm wrapped around her waist. "How would you like to play a game?"

"A game? Why?"

"Because I'm terribly bored and would like to hear your lovely voice. Are you in?"

"Oh, uh, I suppose I am, yes."

"Okay then. I spy, with my little eye-" Her laughter that follows is enough to make Jaskier's heart light. Making her laugh always makes him just a little bit happier.

He hears Geralt groan next to them on Roach, and watches in amusement as he begins to trot further up ahead of them.

"What a grumpy, grumpy man. Alright, hush now, or you'll miss the object. Anyways, I spy, with my little eye, something very long and brown."

"Oh, oh, is it the tree trunks?"

"Very close but not quite. Something dusty."

"The road!"

"Ding ding ding! You've got it!" She laughs once more at his enthusiasm.

"My turn then! I spy, with my little eye, something... big and blue."

Jaskier pretends to think for a moment, and then feigns surprise as he exclaims, "The sky!"

He thinks her joyful laughter is stopping his heart by now, but he's certain he might fall off the horse when she says, "I could preserve this round for a little longer and say 'It was actually your eyes', but that might be a little obvious, huh?"

He rests his head on her shoulder and attempts to look at her face. "That gives me an idea. I spy, with my little eye, something lovely."

A blush breaks out across her face immediately, but she tries not to make assumptions. "Oh, uh... those flowers on the side of the road?"

"Not quite. A bit closer to me." She swears she can feel his arms tighten around her just a fraction.

"Then... is it the horse? You two seem to get along quite well." He chuckle is deep, and she can feel the motion against her back.

"I do love Cinnamon dearly, but you're still a bit off. Try again."

Y/N's breath hitches in her throat, and she glances to the side to look at him, finding him closer than she expected. "Lovely? Is it, uh... me, then?" His smile is enough to make her think her heart will soon burst out of her chest.

"Very good. You're excellent at this. Fancy another round?"

It takes her several minutes to calm down, but she gets into their game again, and sure enough, before either of them even know it, they've reached their destination. They both find themselves a little sad when they have to let go and get off of Cinnamon, but the feeling of being so close doesn't leave either of them for hours.  

Yes, Y/N reflects, everything really does get better with him around.

Yeah, Jaskier thinks, I wouldn't trade a second with her for anything.

[tsarisfanfiction]

Silent IV

Fandom: Thunderbirds Rating: Teen Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Angst Characters: John Tracy, Scott Tracy

Part 4 of my response to @gumnut-logic‘s SensorySunday: Taste challenge. Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Answering reader’s questions?  Only halfway through a fic?  More likely than you think.

Sleep didn’t come easily for John.  It never had done, not even before last weekend, but now he couldn’t sleep at all until he knew all his brothers were safe in their rooms.  That indicator was Scott; until Scott came into their room and settled down in bed, John could be sure that at least one brother was still up.  As Scott would never go to bed until Virgil and Gordon were settled in the room next door, and Alan was asleep in his own bed, dragged in to their room almost as soon as they’d got home, his eventual stumble into bed was the sign John needed that the others were all as okay as they could be right now.

Even the stars had abandoned him.  Sat in the window, a favourite seat of his, with a neglected book in his lap, there were no pinpricks of light shining through the darkness.  Clouds had stayed gathered ever since the avalanche, blocking out both the sun and the stars.  Somewhere beyond them was Dad, on a mission to the moon.  John wondered if he knew, yet.  Grandma had said she’d contact the space agency, but communications from Earth to the moon were difficult.  It had always been a sore point between the older boys and their father – off again for months, two year old Alan barely knew who his Daddy was – but now it was a gaping wound.  John had always been fascinated by space, but he swore he wouldn’t go until he knew he could keep in contact with his family.  Always.

Equally as difficult as getting a message to the moon, apparently, was trying to travel when so snowed under even the cars couldn’t move, and planes refused to fly.  There was no snow here, and if John never saw a snowflake again it would be too soon, but Grandma’s state was snowed in.  Grandma was adamant that she’d find her way to them soon, and John knew she was doing everything she could to move in with them, but it felt as though the world itself was conspiring against them.  Every day that passed, Scott lived in greater and greater fear of uninvited visitors arriving on their doorstep.  John refused to admit it to anyone except himself, but he did, too.

Alan snuffled in the corner, clutching his newly inherited but tatty and old teddy bear close in sleep. The two year old didn’t understand what was going on, and John and Scott were both painfully aware that he was the most likely to bring the uninvited guests to their door with an innocent comment. From the conversation he’d heard when they’d got home, something Alan had said on the way home from playgroup had been too close for Scott’s comfort today.

Scott hadn’t been himself, either.  None of them were themselves, Gordon retreating into himself, Virgil pretending everything was fine but flinching at every reminder of Mom with tears in his eyes.  John wasn’t even sure what had happened to him; he could barely remember what life had been like before the avalanche now. Life and responsibility had ganged up on him and Scott all at once and now any free time he might have had was taken up with cooking and cleaning while Scott handled their younger brothers. But John didn’t think all that – Mom’s death, new responsibilities, three brothers in need of assurance and a sense of normality where there was none to be had – was the all that was preying on Scott’s mind.  Not after Alan’s loud complaints about Scott being stinky and Scott’s perfectly reasonable explanation.  Perfectly reasonable, except for one thing.

Scott didn’t have gym on Wednesdays.  John knew his brother’s timetable, even if Scott didn’t know that.  No gym on Wednesdays, just after-school basketball he’d quit at the start of the week.

Whatever had driven him to empty an entire can of deodorant over himself, it wasn’t gym, and John highly doubted it was an accident, either.  But he knew Scott wouldn’t talk to him about it, even though his eyes had been red when he’d come out of his too-long shower and he’d caught the smallest glimpse of something dark on his arm when his sleeve had ridden up during dinner.  Alan had jumped at him from his chair after they’d eaten, as per usual, and normally Scott could catch him with ease.  This time, there’d been the flicker of pain as Alan had collided with him, before he’d covered it up with some light-hearted scolding for being reckless.

John didn’t like the theory forming in his mind, and knew that tonight he wouldn’t sleep until he put it to rest, one way or the other.

It was midnight by the time Scott stumbled into the room, assuring him that Virgil and Gordon were both asleep and put that book away and go to bed now, John.  John hadn’t turned a page all evening, but dutifully obeyed, placing the bookmark back in the same place he’d retrieved it from hours earlier and setting the book on the bedside table before sliding underneath his covers and closing his eyes.

Waiting.

He heard Scott pad over lightly to check on Alan, making sure he really was asleep, before his big brother finally shuffled into bed himself, turning the lights off.  He’d shared a room with Scott for years, knew how his breathing shifted as he fell asleep.  The shift happened, and he counted the minutes in his head.  Five of them, and then he couldn’t wait any more, the burning need to know slipping him out of bed, palming his under-the-covers reading light (a present from Scott, two years ago, after he’d got fed up of John insisting on having a light on to read when he just wanted to sleep; Mom had laughed and told him he still wasn’t allowed to read all night) from under his pillow and slipping across the room to Scott’s bed.

Scott was a light sleeper, and John shouldn’t be doing this, but he needed to know.  The comforter folded back easily, and holding his breath John reached for the hem of his brother’s top, lifting it up just enough to see his fears realised.

Mottled bruising splattered across his torso, deeper and darker in some places than others.  It was painfully familiar – John had had the same, last year, until Scott found him out in a similar way and dragged names out of a tearful eleven year old in the middle of the night.  They’d both been in the same school then; Scott had made it perfectly clear the next day that anyone who so much as touched a hair on any of his brothers’ heads would be dealing with him and his friends, who would be delighted to return it with interest.

John didn’t have bruises any more, but now Scott had moved up into the world of high school and there was no big brother to make fearless challenges on his behalf.

A hand caught his wrist.

“Go back to bed,” Scott said flatly, tugging at his arm lightly until he let go.  The fabric fluttered back down, hiding the incriminating evidence again.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” John asked instead, keeping his voice down.  The last thing they needed was for any of their brothers to wake, especially Alan.

Scott scoffed, but John’s reading light caught pain in his eyes.

“Tell who?” he demanded, sitting up and wincing as he did so.  John didn’t think it was a good thing that Scott hadn’t even attempted denial first. Scott always denied it when things were wrong and he wasn’t okay.  Then again, none of them were okay.  None of them would be okay for a long time.  “A teacher? They’d just try to call Mom, and when they don’t get through they’ll be breaking down the goddamn door.  Grandma?  She can’t get here any damn faster.  Dad? He’s not even on the fucking planet!”

“Shhh!” John hissed as his voice get louder.  A sleepy snuffle came from the corner of the room, and they both froze.  It was several long minutes of silence before they relaxed, assured that Alan hadn’t woken up after all.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He knew why.  It was the same reason he wouldn’t tell a teacher, wouldn’t risk any adults realising that there was a family of five children living without a single guardian in the state.  Scott had been trying to protect him, projecting an air of invulnerable big brother so John would relax and forget the very real fear social services might catch a whiff of abandoned children.

Scott wouldn’t admit that, of course.

“What could you do about it?” he demanded instead, remembering this time to keep his voice down. “We don’t even go to the same school, and even if we did, we can’t draw attention to ourselves!”

“I can handle Alan so he’s not kicking you in your already busted ribs whenever you pick him up,” John retorted. “I can cover for you while you get pain killers.  Just because I can’t help you outside doesn’t mean I can’t help you at home, Scott.”

“I can’t ask that of you,” Scott protested, and John rolled his eyes.

“I’m offering,” he pointed out.  “You have taken some pain killers, right?”

“How do you think I got all of two seconds sleep before a pesky little brother stripped my bedclothes?” Scott grouched.  “Yes, I took some tylenol when I was in the shower.”

“Cold compress?” John asked, and Scott rolled his eyes.

“Right little rescue scout you are, huh,” he grumbled.  He knew as well as John they’d had a first aid session only two meetings ago.  It felt like two lifetimes ago.  “Shower.”  John reached for his top again, only to get batted away.  “It’s fine, John.  Stop fussing and go back to bed.”

John scowled at him.

“We talk about this now, or we talk about this at breakfast with Virgil, Gordon and Alan listening in,” he promised.  From the flash of anger in blue eyes, it was only the fact that Alan was sleeping in the same room that restrained Scott from exploding at him.

“What’s there to talk about?” he ground out instead.

“Who.”  John stated.  “How long. Why now.”  The glare he got promised retribution later, but less than a week ago John had watched a wall of snow crush a skiing hut with his mother inside. Maybe Scott’s glares would be scary again one day, but their ski trip from hell was still too raw.

“You don’t know them,” Scott muttered after a moment, and John knew he wouldn’t have caved if he wasn’t also raw from the loss of their Mom, and the responsibility crushing his shoulders.  “I thought they were my friends, until yesterday.  Apparently they only liked me because the team kept winning whenever I played.”

“They’re beating you up because you quit the team?”  John wished he was surprised, but while sport had never been his thing, enough of his schoolmates were sport-mad that he could see them doing exactly that. Scott didn’t answer, but his eyes gleamed with tears in the faint light.

It made John angry. Who measured friendship by how successful someone was at a sport?  Who dropped their friend right when they were needed most?  Even if they didn’t know what was wrong, surely a friend would accept a change in hobbies?

He might not know them, but these unknown so-called friends of Scott were going to go down. How dare they make his brother cry?

The tears Scott turned his head away to hide could have just been grief about their Mom, but given the context of their conversation, John knew better.  It was also the sting of betrayal, and he wasn’t going to stand for it.

“Scott,” he said, muscling his way onto his brother’s bed and tugging gently but determinedly on his wrist until he caved and lay down.  “As soon as Grandma’s here, you have to tell her.”

Stony silence greeted him, and he pulled the comforter over the pair of them, nudging insistently at Scott until he had enough room to be comfortable.  “If you don’t, I will.”

“Don’t you dare,” Scott lashed back, rolling on his side to face away from John.  “Get out of my bed.”

“You didn’t let me suffer in silence,” John reminded him, staying where he was.  He wasn’t as clingy as his brothers, but right now he didn’t want his own bed.  “You’re right, even when we do have a guardian here, I can’t stand in front of you and threaten everyone that wants to hurt you.  But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stand by and let it happen.  Grandma will do something.”

“Grandma has the four of you to worry about,” Scott mumbled, and John rolled his eyes.  Whoever said older was wiser had clearly never met his older brother.

“Grandma has five grandsons and she’ll worry about us all,” he reminded him.  “She’ll find out somehow, even if we don’t say anything. You know she will, and then she’ll be sad you didn’t tell her straight away.”

Scott groaned in defeat, then rolled back over with another, pained, groan.  How long did Tylenol last?

“I know,” he muttered, wiping at his eyes with his sleeves.  “I know.”

John shuffled a little closer, pressing their shoulders together.  Once they got bigger – Scott was already hitting a growth spurt – they wouldn’t be able to fit easily on the same bed, but for now, they both fit well enough side-by-side.  After a moment, Scott’s head rested against his on the pillow, and fingers tangled with his own where their arms were pressed together.

“We’ll survive,” Scott muttered, squeezing lightly.  John nodded, and squeezed back.  “Grandma will be here soon.”

It was both a promise and a plea.

Part V