#YES I WANNA MEET YOU BACKSTAGE PLEASE. PLEAS

[hippie-self-shippie]

All-right, all-right, hey good lookin'!

How's my baby Lloyd doin'? Hell of a match, I tell you… but it was alllll worth it to see your pretty face! You really give even me a run for my money, ya dig? You never fail to make me feel better, even after some of the crummiest moments in the ring... it’s a real talent of yours, baby. Save some beauty and brains for the rest of us poor saps!

I have something for you backstage, honey, if you got the time. Don’t be too mad, I missed you all those minutes! You know how the public eye can be… but i swear to you, one day, the whole world will be knowing both our names. See you, flower power. (I’m sure you can figure out who this is ~ ♪)

oh my god i think i just died. i think my soul went out of my body and i died. ohhhhh my god.

[sunlightdances]

craving you

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Female Reader Rating: M  Warnings: Smut, language, depictions of unprotected sex (don’t do this, kiddos) - 18 years+ only please!  Summary: Your job keeps you busy, and Seb’s keeps him busy too. You’re not really sure how to define what the two of you are, but you know when he’s away, it’s the worst, and when you’re together? It’s pretty explosive. Author’s Note: I heard this song, and I had to write this, because my daydreaming once again got the best of me. The title comes from the Thomas Rhett + Maren Morris song of the same name. 

You’re in the back of the conference room and you’re pretty sure he hasn’t spotted you yet. You’d be able to tell if he had -- his eyes would light up and that slow, easy grin would slide onto his face. You love that smile and hate it in equal measure, because it turns you into a flustered mess, and he knows it.

You watch for a bit as he answers fan questions and you have to smile at how generous he is with each and every one of them. When he literally comes off the stage to sweep a girl into his arms, the screams are deafening, and you’re smiling so wide it hurts.

After the panel is over, you head over to the roped off section that you’re pretty sure leads to backstage, and you hope he sees you. None of this is planned - he doesn’t even know you’re here. He comes out from behind the curtain, and stops for a few photos even as he’s being rushed along by his manager. There’s not a ton of people here yet, but his eyes skip over you quickly as he looks up, and you find yourself holding your breath as he double takes.

“My god--” you see him say out loud, and you can’t control your smile now. He takes a few quick strides to where you’re standing, and pulls you in for a hug, your arms already outstretched towards him when he gets close. “Jesus Christ.” He says. “Did I know you were coming?”

“Nope.” You say, muffled into his jacket. “Surprise!”

He lets go of you but doesn’t let you go far. “Come on,” he says, gesturing for you to duck under the rope. You look around, seeing a few curious eyes on you, and he rolls his eyes. “I will hoist you over this rope if you don’t do it yourself.” 

“Alright, alright. Settle down.” You duck under, and his hand grips yours, squeezing lightly. He lets go, but it’s enough to send shivers down your arm. “How much trouble are you going to be in?” You ask, glancing toward his manager, who looks like she’s ready to rip her hair out. 

“Let me worry about that. I haven’t seen you in two months.” He says, his voice a deep rasp that suggests he’s had a long day of press and interviews. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were coming!” He leans closer, “I would have gotten a better room, but--”

“Shut up,” you say, even as you laugh. “I didn’t know I was going to be here. I got a flight two days ago to do a book signing and I saw you were going to be here, so here I am.”

“Here you are.” He agrees, his voice softer. Things have been going slowly into new territory for the two of you lately, and you’re not sure if it’s more than just a ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder’ type situation. 

You follow him to what must be a dressing room, and watch him charm the pants off his manager, who looks like she’s trying really hard not to let him win this one. She introduces herself to you and leaves the two of you alone with a smile. 

“I knew you were trouble.” You say, leaning against the table in the room as he sits down on the couch and drinks almost an entire water bottle in one go. 

“It’s been a long day. She’s just tired.” You’re both quiet for a minute, and he cocks his head to one side. That smile creeps over his face again, and you bite your lip. “You gonna stand over there all day?” He asks, his voice deeper than before, and you shiver. 

You take a few steps closer, and his long legs fall open in invitation. He reaches for you and tangles your fingers together before he tugs you into his lap, his free arm coming around your waist to keep you upright.

“Hi.” 

“Hi, yourself.” You whisper. 

“Missed you.” His nose drags along your collarbone, causing you to let out a shaky sigh as you struggle to keep your wits about you. “You okay?” He asks, looking up at you, his brow furrowed.

“Fine. Just a little jet lagged.” 

He hums sympathetically and presses a slow, open-mouthed kiss to your jaw, and you tilt your head back slightly to give him better access. You sigh again when his lips close over your pulse point, sucking gently. He lets out a soft noise, and you’re suddenly too aware of why everyone on the internet calls him soft. The thought makes you smile, and he looks up, a grin creeping onto his face.

“Something funny?” He asks, trying to look threatening.

“No, no. Just making sure you’re up to this, is all.” You tease, and his eyes narrow.

“How dare you. I’m a young, energetic man.” 

You snort. “Those circles under your eyes say otherwise, bud.” You smile softly at him, touching his eyes with the pads of your fingers as his eyelids slip shut. “Sleeping at all?” 

“Eh. Enough.” He says, skirting the issue, his hands roaming around your back and your thighs, igniting a fire everywhere they touch. You find yourself straying into that territory again -- friends with benefits (is that what you even are? You’re not so sure) don’t usually worry too much about sleep patterns and stress levels of their partners. 

When you first met Sebastian, this was the arrangement you fell into, and it worked. You were both too busy for anything serious, anyway, or at least that’s what you tell yourself, though you know that if he asked, you’d try the long distance thing with him if it meant you were exclusive. 

You’re kind of too scared to bring it up, though. You don’t want to ruin anything. This is Sebastian Stan, for fuck’s sake. It’s a miracle he even looked twice at you the first time you met, as far as you’re concerned. You know he’d get upset if you ever voiced these insecurities, though. He cares about you. You know that to be true. It’s just... all the other stuff that you’re not sure about. 

“Been thinking about you.” He tells you, pulling you out of your thoughts. “It’s been too long since I’ve had you in my bed.” He whispers, his words sending a shudder rippling through you. 

“Seb,” You say, a plea for something to put an end to all this tension. 

He grins. “Ah, ah. Not yet. This is what you get for all those snaps you keep putting in your story of you enjoying a bath without me.”

You roll your eyes, laughing, as his lips find your jawline. “I can’t believe you even use Snapchat.” 

“I barely use it. I really just have it so you’ll send me dirty pictures.” 

Your mouth drops open in mock offense, a laugh bubbling out of you. “I can’t believe--”

He cuts you off with a kiss, both of your smiles fading as he sweeps into your mouth with unrestrained passion, the months you’ve been apart settling in as the familiar tingles you get when he kisses you erupt up and down your spine. 

“I mean it.” He mumbles against your mouth. “I’ve never been jealous of a bathtub before.” 

You try to respond, but he kisses you again, and you feel the flame of lust between the two of you come to life as he starts pulling at your shirt, trying to tug it over your head. “Seb-- anyone could come in--”

He groans, dropping his forehead against yours with sigh. “You wanna meet me tonight?” He asks, the low timbre of his voice doing nothing to help your restraint. “Say yes.” He whispers. “Let me have you again. I’ll make you feel good, I promise--”

“Okay, okay, Jesus, Seb.” You say, putting your hand over his mouth, his words and the look in his eyes entirely too much for you, still in a semi-public place. 

His eyes are sparkling as you pull apart. “I like you flustered.” He tells you, and you blush. “Don’t get shy. C’mon.” He says, tugging you off his lap but keeping you close. He reaches in his pocket for his wallet, and pulls out a room key. “I’m at the Hilton down the road. We could get room service or something.” He says, and it’s a good thing you didn’t try tearing each other’s clothes off like you wanted to, because a knock on the door comes soon after.

“Seb, we have to get going for the next set of interviews.” His manager says, throwing you an apologetic look. 

“I’ll text you.” He promises. He moves in to kiss your cheek. “Can’t wait to have you all to myself tonight.” He says, quietly, and you suppress a whimper. 

He leaves the room with a wink and a smile, and your knees feel like they could give out at any second.

Damn him.

.

.

A few hours later you’re in the lobby, trying to convince yourself to go up. You want to. That’s not the problem. It’s just -- you’re having all these feelings and that’s not what you signed up for. It’s definitely not what Sebastian signed up for, either. 

You keep telling yourself it’s easier this way -- just keeping it casual and fun. Deep down, though, you know you’re in love with him. Not like it was hard to come to that conclusion. Who wouldn’t be in love with him? The distance between the two of you most months did nothing to diminish your feelings for him. If anything, it just made everything more intense when you were together again.

You don’t want to pressure him, but you think sometimes he’s thinking along the same wavelength you are. You’re just too scared to get hurt. It’s happened before, and you’re not willing to put yourself out there again. 

Rolling your eyes at yourself, you push the button on the elevator and get in, heading up to one of the higher floors where his room is. You’ve barely knocked before the door is opening, and he’s grinning at you, his eyes sparkling. 

“Hi.” He says, “Come in, come in.” 

“Eager?” You tease, and he smirks at you, stepping closer until you’re trapped against the wall, his arms bracketing you in. 

“Maybe a little.” He whispers, his breath tickling your ear. “You wanna know a secret?”

You’re sure he’s going to be the death of you. “Yes.”

He chuckles, a low, sexy sound. “I haven’t smoked in awhile but that craving I used to get for cigarettes is the same feeling I have when I haven’t seen you in awhile.” 

Your knees go weak at his words. No one’s ever talked to you like he does - so full of fervor and intent. “Seb.” 

He hums, leaning in close so he can kiss you gently. “I mean it, baby.” His hands start working on your jacket, tugging it off your shoulders and he groans when he sees your lightweight t-shirt, your bralette clearly visible underneath. “You’re perfect.” He whispers. 

You bring your mouth back to his, not sure you can take much more. You kiss him desperately, your tongue seeking entrance to his mouth right away, hand hands falling to your waist and squeezing you gently. 

“Want you so badly it aches.” He groans against your mouth, grinding up against you, pulling your left leg to hitch around his waist. “Sorry, but I can’t wait tonight. I’ll draw it out later, make it good, but I need to be inside you.” 

“Oh, god.” 

Both of your clothes come off in a flurry, and you whimper as his teeth scrape along your neck as he presses you harder against the wall, using his body to keep you upright and off the ground. 

When he pushes into you, you swear you see actual sparks behind your closed eyelids. He sighs your name and your nails rake down his back lightly. He lets you adjust to his size before he sets a good rhythm that has you seeing stars. 

“Fuck.” He pants. “You’re so goddamn tight.” 

“Don’t stop, Seb.” You groan, he words coming out choked as you give back as good as you get. 

He keeps talking, something you’ve picked up on that he likes to give and receive in kind, and he tells you how good you feel, and how having you here is better than anything he’s tried to imagine over the last two months.

You’re on the edge quickly, and tell him breathlessly. 

“That’s it, baby. Come on. Wanna feel it.” He whispers, his thrusts picking up speed, and then you’re gone, white light exploding behind your eyelids as your orgasm crashes over you. 

You feel him shudder against you as he comes, but you’re too far gone to say anything in encouragement. Slowly, your legs slide off his hips and he keeps you steady as you regain your balance. 

“I absolutely didn’t plan that, but shit, that was good.” He says, grinning that megawatt smile at you. “Come on, let me help you get cleaned up.” He says, taking your hand and tugging you towards the bathroom after you pull your underwear and bra back on. 

After you both get cleaned up and manage not to get distracted, he orders room service, the entire time staring at you while biting his bottom lip as you get comfortable on his bed. 

“I wish you could see how you look right now.” He tells you, pausing to admire you as he stands at the foot of his bed, the hotel phone still in his hand. His eyes are dark instead of their usual piercing blue, and it causes goosebumps to erupt on your arms. He slides into bed next to you, propping his head up on his elbow. 

You roll onto your side to face him, smiling softly. “You look tired.” You say, your hand drifting to touch his face lightly. 

He snorts. “You sure know how to charm a guy.” 

“Shut up. Really. Is everything okay?” 

His smile falters a little bit. “I’m okay.” 

“Liar.” You whisper, teasing. 

“If I tell you something, you promise not to freak out?” He asks, and it’s like a bucket of ice water is dumped over you. He doesn’t wait for you to answer. “I can’t stop thinking about you.” He says, his voice shaking slightly. “I know that’s not-- it’s not what we do. I can’t really seem to help it, though.” 

You’re frozen. You don’t even know what to think, let alone what to say. 

“I didn’t tell you sooner because I didn’t want to fuck everything up, but I know that I’ve been really fucking miserable while we’ve been apart. I’ve been feeling like I’m coming completely apart at the seams.” 

“Sebastian...” You whisper, embarrassed to feel tears welling up in your eyes. 

His eyes widen nervously. “No, don’t cry. I’m sorry.” He says, pulling you close, his hand stroking your back lightly. “I didn’t mean to dump that on you.”

“Stop apologizing!” You say, “You’re such an idiot.” You whisper, and he looks affronted, frowning. “I’m so crazy about you, too.” You tell him, and you don’t think you’ll ever forget the way his face changes from confused to absolutely delighted. 

“You scared me!” He says, and you’re both laughing. “God.” He pulls you close again, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. “I’ve never felt like this about anyone. I can’t get enough of you, sweetheart.” 

“The feeling is definitely mutual.” You say, running your fingers through his hair. 

He rolls you underneath him, hand sliding up your leg until he grips your hip. “Wanna show you.” He whispers, his voice husky. His mouth comes down on yours in a searing kiss, and you wonder idly if anything is ever going to feel this good ever again. 

You make out like teenagers for awhile before you pull back with a grin and roll over so you’re straddling him, his head hitting the pillow with a thud when you grind down on him. 

“Jesus, fuck.” He says, eyes rolling back in his head. 

“You’ve got a dirty mouth.” You tell him, and he winks at you before pulling you down by the nape of your neck to kiss you. 

After he’s gotten you naked again, you push yourself up on your knees and guide him into you. He’s so wound up he almost arches into you, and you gasp at the feeling of him seated so deep inside of you.

“Move, baby. Please move.” He says, practically begging, and you’ve never felt anything quite like this, having him underneath you, the current between you like a live wire.

You slowly start to raise and then lower yourself on top of him, his hands going to your hips where you’re sure he’s going to leave marks. 

“You’re so fucking hot.” He tells you. “Could watch you like this all day.”

You smile, feeling absolute bliss as his words and the feelings he’s eliciting in you wash over you. You speed up your pace, feeling yourself coming closer to that edge with every groan you pull out of him. 

He sits up suddenly, his arms wrapping around you, and he thrusts up into you suddenly, his eyes fierce as he pulls you close. “I want to watch you fall apart for me.” He whispers. 

You groan as he licks a line up the column of your throat, and soon you’re both silent except for the harsh breaths and groans leaving both of you. When you come, his name is on your lips, and you practically collapse against him as you try to catch your breath. 

“I’m so in love with you.” He whispers in your ear, and you pull back sharply to see his face. 

“You’re serious?”

“As a heart attack.” 

A slow grin starts creeping over your face. “I love you too, Seb.” 

“Yeah?” He asks, letting out a breathless laugh. “Baby. I’m...” He shakes his head. “Should have told you a long time ago.” 

“Don’t worry about that now.” You say. 

He slips out of you after a few minutes and disappears into the bathroom. You stay on the bed, waiting your turn, resisting the urge to fall asleep until you’ve washed the makeup off your face and cleaned up. 

When the door opens, you look up, a sleepy smile on your face as he all but saunters towards the bed. “My turn?” You ask.

“Yep.” He says, and you note with satisfaction that he doesn’t look nearly as worn down as he did when you saw him earlier in the day. “Is it crazy that I want you again?” He asks, nuzzling your neck as you stand up, bringing you closer to his height.

“Hm...” You pretend to think. “Not really. I’m pretty irresistible.” 

“Full of yourself, too.” He teases.

“Could be full of something else...” You mutter, and his jaw drops. 

“You did not just say that.” He says, laughing. “Who are you?!”

“The girl of your dreams, apparently.” 

He smiles at you, tugging you close by your elbow and threading your fingers together. He hums in agreement. “You definitely are.” He says, gently. 

Later, you’re both in bed eating room service, you in your underwear and one of Sebastian’s shirts, fully engrossed in some NASA documentary he found on TV. After a few minutes you feel his eyes on you, and you look over, self conscious. “Do I have something on my face?”

“No, no.” He assures you. “You’re just... you’re so perfect.”

You blush, and he slings an arm around your shoulders, pulling you tight against him. 

You’re not sure how this is going to work with the both of you traveling all the time, but you know you want to try. You’ve never wanted anything as much as you want him, and now that you know he feels the same way, you’re going to do everything you can to keep him all for yourself.