#YES I HAD TO MAKE THIS SOUND LIKE AN EPISODE RECAP.

[yuri-is-online]

Jade narrating the stuff Yuu is doing sounds funny/cute.

Dear annon, objectively you are correct. Jade narrating things sounds funny and cute in general. Unfortunately I have a cold and just took some nyquil ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ Whoops.

notes:they/them used for Yuu, this is a joke tm inspired by this meme. Please do not take this seriously and look at my masterlist for something not written on drugs.

"The humble shrimp, according to all known laws of hydrodynamics should not be able to swim. Their little legs are much too small to propel them through the ocean." Jade does not say this out loud, instead he continues to prop his head up on his hand and observe the Lounge's newest employee slaving away over the stove, signature reserved smile on his face. "The shrimp of course, swims anyway, because the shrimp does not care about what mages think is impossible."

Not that you are cooking for the lounge (yet) Jade had just invited you over for a little... he had said it was to study. What you had no idea, your patience maybe? He certainly hasn't moved since inviting you to help yourself to the Octavinelle kitchen saying something about how "humans have such interesting uses for leftovers."

"Bullshit." You think, punctuating the curse with a particularly harsh scrape to the pan. "He just didn't want to cook his dinner tonight."

"Imagine if you will, a pan of rice." Jade is idly toying with a spoon, swapping between waving it like a conductor or holding it still to speak into it like an announcer. "Truly a blessing to the hungry masses, a staple food if you will."

"Oh please no." You are tempted to spit in his plate but he would just put an unnecessary type of emphasis on thanking you for the food.

"It is presented to you fried," Jade continues, clearly deeply amused with himself "but this time, it has not been fried by a trustworthy fellow human-"

"You are an eel." You decide to settle your need to be petty by giving him the smaller fork, which does get you a regretful sigh but does not stop Jade's recapping the last episode of Twisted Wonderland.

"But by a shrimp." Jade loves it when you cook for him, not that he really wants to admit to that out loud lest you stop. Or huff and puff in embarrassment, he wants to save that for much later. Sometime when you are back in the Coral Sea and tucked neatly against his chest, safe and very much completely his and not able to run away. "The humble shrimp is proud of it's cooking."

"I am not an it, I am your partner." You are not exactly mad, you are proud of your cooking. And proud that, just like he does for his brother, he will eat all of it and then find something to complain about with a big smile on his face. Jade once again twirls his conductor's spoon, with a hum that sounds sort of like an agreement.

"The shrimp is very proud of their cooking," he amends "and the eel is very happy they want to share with him." You push your food around your plate in embarrassment much to his delight. He can't resist pushing you just a bit further, getting up as if to make for a cup but pausing to kiss your cheek before setting his kettle on the stove so it's ready to repay your favor once dinner is done. "Do be gentle with me," says the eel, heart beating horrifically hard against his chest "I am much more fragile than I look." He very much does not expect to see you darting up to kiss his lips when he turns back from the stove, the shrimp darts away with a smug giggle as the eel stands stunned, savoring the warmth of their affection before he returns to his seat.

Yes, the eel thinks he is keeping this one. Forever, ideally.

[stone-stars]

in which murph has a very normal time at the hands of his players

Transcript:

Murph: Wel-come back to Bahumia everybody! [Jake, Emily, and Caldwell echo him with "Bahumia!". Caldwell sounds incredibly enthusiastic.] Murph: He's so excited! Caldwell Tanner, thanks for being here. Caldwell: Ye-ah! Murph: It's not your turn yet, dude! Caldwell: I'm so sorry sir! Murph: Okay? I'm your Dungeon Master Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Hurwitz-- Caldwell: Bahumia! Jake: [laughs] Hey! Dude! Murph: Caldwell! Caldwell: Sorry! Emily: [laughs] Bahumia! Bahumia! Jake: I'm trying to rhyme, man! Murph: Quit stepping on him with your enthusiasm! Caldwell: I'm just so ready to go! Emily: Bahumia! Jake: I worked really hard on this. I di-- [sighs] well forget it. Fuckin' forget it. Murph: No you gotta! Emily: Bahumia! [Overlapping crosstalk as Caldwell and Murph encourage Jake.] Caldwell: You've got this. Murph: You got this. Jake, go ahead, don't let these two enthusiasms get in your way, alright? Jake: Yeah. Alright, no, yeah. I got this. I got this. Yeah. Caldwell: Whoo! He's got this! Jake: Fighting alongside-- Caldwell: You've got this man! Do it! Murph: Stop! You have to stop! Jake: I know I got it! I'm doin' it! (Calder voice) Fighting alongside a frog and a bard with my brand new sword, Shard. [Emily and Caldwell laugh.] Murph: Yeah! Pretty good. I do feel like we built it up though, at a certain point. And there was just-- there was no way you could fully deliver. Jake: Yeah. It would've been perfect if I got it out clean right up top as soon as you introed. Murph: Yeah, if we did a super low energy intro. [Jake: M-hm. Yeah.] Caldwell: I think it was great man, I think it was amazing, I can't wait to hear it again! Murph: Who is this person. And then of course we've got Emily Axford-- Emily: Bahumia! [Everyone laughs. The others continue laughing harder as Murph talks.] Murph: Ohh. Okay?? That's the name of the world. Her character's name is Calliope Petrichor. If for some reason episode 57 of campaign 3 is the first thing you've listened to. That's Emily Axford. (laughing) She plays Calliope Petrichor. She did say before we started, I think almost as a counter-bit to Emily's bit, before we started (laughing) Emily said "I'm not gonna do a rhyme I don't feel like it." And I said "wild energy to bring into the episode!" so Caldwell went the opposite and went overenthusiastic. They're just fucking with me! Everything we do is just an inside joke to make me upset. Caldwell: And now you're caught up! Murph: Yeah, and now we're caught up. Caldwell: Bahumia! Murph: And-- [laughs] and Bahumia. And-- Uh, and then of course we've got Caldwell Tanner-- Jake: (yelling) Bahumia! Emily: Yeah!!! Jake's in on it!! Caldwell: See, it feels good! It feels good. Murph: Okay. Caldwell Tanner, of course, plays Sol-- Caldwell: Ohhh, Sol Bufo [Murph: Okay.] I'm feeling fine, just found out I'm two of a kind, [Emily: ooh!] and now I'm gonna go and find out if Swag's still alive. I'm really trying to thrive here. Bahumia. [The others laugh. As they talk, Caldwell laughs too.] Murph: You lost me. But you had me for a moment. And that's more that can be said for the other guys. Jake: Wow. Emily: Bahumia. Murph: [laughs] Bahumia. Jake: Bahumia, guys. Murph: Sure. Hey guys, Bahumia. We did it. We did it everyone. Alright? Everyone settle. Settle? Okay?

[The others sigh as if relaxing, and chorus "yeah."] Murph: Ready? Alright. Let's do-- let's do-- Caldwell: Eldermourne. Murph: Not the right campaign. Not the correct campaign. Caldwell: Shit, sorry. Murph: Let's go ahead and do a little-- [laughs as Emily interrupts him] recap-- Emily: That's Calliope's middle name. [Everyone laughing.] Murph: (through laughter) Shut. The fuck up. Everyone. Alright. [Pause as everyone continues to laugh.] Jake: S-- sorry. Murph: So last time, you left Calder's home to pursue Gowan to the Ice Knife, but received a call from Albin along the way-- [laughs] Shut up, dude. Jake: Bahumia. Bahumia. [Everyone laughs.] Murph: This is precious information! Jake: Bahumia! Emily: Bahumia! Bahumia. Caldwell: (exaggerated) Bahumia! Murph: Yeah, okay. You guys are like pokemon now? [The others laugh.] Okay. Alright. Worst bit ever. Okay. [Jake: Bahumia] You recieved a message from Albin--

Murph: -- You were greeted by a ghostly message in the ice that said Friends… Murph and Emily: Betray! Emily: I remember! Murph: You remember. Good job, Em. Jake: Holy shit. She's back. Murph: You get a sticker. Emily: I wrote it in my notebook. Murph: Very good! [Emily: Yeah, yeah, yeah.] That almost makes up to your behavior for the first three minutes of the show [The others laugh.]

Murph: And that's where we are now. Caldwell: Alright! All my real betrayal heads get ready! Emily: Yeah! Caldwell: This is where it starts! Murph: [laughs] Shut up. All of you. [Everyone laughs.] Caldwell: (through laughter) I can't. I have to talk for another hour at least. I'm so sorry. Murph: It's all good. Alright. So--

Murph: Sweet, well we'll talk more about this over on our Patreon. That's patreon.com/naddpod that's N-A-D-D-P-O-D-don't sing yet-- [Emily and Jake start to sing "We"] Caldwell: Bahumia! Murph: Yeah, remember that. [laughs] D-- Do you guys remember that? Uh-- Emily: Bahumia! Caldwell: What are you talking about, man? Murph: Bahumia! Does anyone else have anything they'd like to plug? Emily: Bahumia! Murph: Bahumia, yeah. Jake: Oh, yeah, I would love to plug Bahumia. Murph: Yeah. Check it out. Campaign 1, campaign 3. Caldwell: The world. Emily: Oh! [Murph: uh-huh] Uh, actually can I plug Bahumia? Murph: Great. Really good job, guys. Awesome. Caldwell: It's an incredible world. Incredible place. [Murph: yep!] Check out all of the incredible environs there. Murph: Yeah. Check it out. Uh- You can follow us on, uh-- Emily: Bahumia. Murph: You can follow us on social media that we may or may not use. @ chmurph's me, @ caldy's Caldwell, @ eaxford's Emily-- [Emily: @ bahumia] -- @ jakehurwitz is Jake-- Jake: I'm actually-- I'm actually @ bahumia. Murph: Follow our campaigns on Bahumia-- Emily: I'm also @ bahumia. Murph: I don't think you are. And you can tweet about the show using #naddpod that's N-A-D-D-P-O-D. [They sing "We are, We are" as the audio fades out, but Caldwell and Jake replace the words with "Bahumia"]

[piromina]

HELLO MIRACULOUS FANDOM

if u are part of the miraculous fandom PLS DO NOT SCROLL PAST THIS.

I'll try to keep this message short enough, but if you don't want to be really confused in season 6, READ THIS. (and yes there will be pictures)

Do you remember the episode Representation? Of course you do. It was probably one of the best episodes imo. We got some feligami, adrien fighting his father (only to end up in solitary confinement afterwards but forget that), and, of course, confirmation to a very popular fan theory.

HOWEVER. that fan theory is something I need to talk about.

Don't worry, yes, I still do believe that adrien, félix and kagami are all sentis, that is not what the purpose of this message is. Please keep reading.

do you remember him? yes. this is félix. impersonating his shitty father, colt. in this scene , 'colt' is using the peacock miraculous to create a son.

in this scene, the amok is very clearly going into the ring félix has on at all times.

But what, in the entire representation play, has not been shown once?

Émelie using the peacock. Émelie putting the amok into Adrien's rings. Émelie creating a son.

This play is Félix's story, not Adrien's.

Yes, adrien is a sentimonster, but that was never shown here once. Yes, there were peacock feathers in the background of Émelie being pregnant, and yes, Gabriel called Adrien a miracle.

But those were just hints for the audience.

In this scene, here is what 'Gabriel' was saying.

After much study, I have discovered a solution for you and your wife.

This is making it sound like he has just now discovered the peacock miraculous. We as the audience, of course, know that he's lying.

But who was this play meant for, other than us as the all-knowing viewers?

Marinette Dupain-Cheng. The only in-universe audience member. And let's not forget that this is her very first exposure to the Agreste and Graham de Vanily family history and the senti lore. She doesn't know what we do.

Marinette, upon hearing Gabriel's lie, had no reason to believe he or émelie used the peacock to create Adrien. Marinette, upon hearing Gabriel's lie, had no reason to believe that after Colt created félix, he stole back the peacock miraculous. Marinette, upon watching this play, had no reason to believe that Adrien is a sentimonster, or that the Graham de Vanily rings are significant in any way.

"But then why did she give them back to Adrien?" It's what would have made him happy. It's what Gabriel wanted. It's the last thing she could find in there that Gabriel owned. It's the last known piece of the Agreste family.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng has no reason to believe that Émelie used the peacock. In fact, Émelie only appears in this play four times, once as the curious princess, once living a bohemian life with the tailor, once being pregnant, and once giving birth.

And the Graham de Vanily rings? Only when her parents attached them to her necklace, and then as she was getting married! Marinette thinks those are just simple wedding bands, like her parents'!

And now, to recap, this is what everyone knows:

Us, the viewers:

Adrien, Félix, and Kagami are sentimonsters. Gabriel found the miraculous while in Tibet, along with the butterfly. Then, he gave it to Émelie, and she used it to create Adrien, putting the amok in the wedding bands. Afterwards, Gabriel gave the miraculous to Colt, who made Félix, as shown in the play. And, somehow, the peacock found its way over to Kagami's family (possibly her father?) who used it to create her, and put the amok in the ring she wears.

Marinette:

Félix is a sentimonster. Gabriel found the miraculous somewhere (probably Tibet, as that's where it was lost, possibly along with the butterfly). Then, he gave it to Colt in an act of sympathy (strange, those must have been nicer times), but of course not without making a trade. Afterwards, Colt used the peacock to create Félix, and then somehow Gabriel got it back and used it to become Shadowmoth.

Marinette doesn't know that Adrien is a sentimonster.

Reblog to spread the word.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Rose Recaps 2023 - Japan

So, because I have a hard time making big lists and choosing favourites, this my version of a superlative post, by country.

The one that had me at the first frame

If It’s With You | Kimi to Nara Koi wo Shite Mite mo

As soon as Amane appeared on screen I was gone. This damaged but confident boy had my heart from the beginning. But it was Ryuji that ended up with a bigger piece by the end. The way he saw Amane’s mask from the beginning and just went – “you don’t need to do that with me”. And the way he considered Amane’s feelings even when he wasn’t sure what to do or how to respond, or how he was feeling about all of it, was just beautiful to witness and at certain points kinda reminded of Ida.

Favourite Moment: Amane confessing and running away. Because visually it's so striking. The way he's running from the light that is Ryuji.

The one that was perfect and I never saw coming.

I Cannot Reach You | Kimi ni wa Todokanai

I think that by now at least some people know how I feel about Japanese BL. I love it so much. And for me it’s always about the characters. Whether they are the embodiment of chaos, like Aoki or they are just incredible complex and empathic humans like Ida. - Yes, I’m using Kieta Hatsukoi every chance I get- I just love the way all these characters are written and portrait.

I loved these 2 boys in equal measure all throughout the show. I might have a soft spot for Yamato, but that’s only because pining boys are my weakness.

Yamato’s back and forth in his own head about what to do would be annoying to me in any other show, but it was so well done, and we were privy to his thought process throughout that it just made me feel for him deeply. And Kakeru learning about Yamato’s feelings right away in the first episode was a great choice, because he gave the show time to make the reciprocity more believable.

Favourite Moment - The exchange of gifts at the door. I love the nervousness that the two of them are feeling in this moment.

The one where I gave in.

My Beautiful Man S2 & Eternal

Confession time. This was not love at first season for me. I don’t argue quality overall and much less the acting of the show, but it just didn’t click for me.

There were some truly great moments in the first season but there was a disconnect between my heart and my brain. This happens to me sometimes. Like I watch something that is objectively good but it doesn’t reach me.

That all changed with the second season and the film. I finally connect with Hira. Don't ask me why, I don't fully understand myself, but it happened right at the beginning of the season. I think perhaps it was because I started seeing more from Kiyoi pov, because before I was absolutely clueless about what he saw in Hira in the first place. Sorry if that sounds harsh.

I don't blame the show for this, as I said, I think all the elements are there, it just didn't connect for me.

Also, the film was gorgeous to watch. Several moments (specially the sequence where the gif is from) were so well shot and edited that I'm happy I went in already with a positive mindset.

Favourite Moment: The one from the gif. I'm a sucker for a drastic visual change when the moment calls for it.

The one that had me question if watching it was good for my mental health.

Tokyo in April is | Shigatsu no Tokyo wa

Ok. I love this show. I love Ren. But this was a hard watch for me. Every week I had a struggle between two sides of me.

- Don’t watch it. It will be sad and you will be sad because of it. - But the last one was sad so I need to watch it to see if there’s happy. - Why not just wait? - Because I started already, so now I can’t wait. - But in this case binging is best. Cause for sure the ending is happy so you won’t be sad for long. - Yeah, but I need to see more now. And there’s a new episode waiting for me. - Fine. Just press play. After the episode. - I really shouldn’t watch this one live. (all this repeats the following week)

It was beautifully acted, there were some outstanding moments, the past was as tastefully done as it could be given the subject matter, and in the end my heart of full, but slightly damaged with the process.

Favourite Moment: Ren finding out Kazuma had been looking for him.

The one with all the magic.

What Did You Eat Yesterday? | Kinou Nani Tabeta? S2

I already wrote how this show made me feel in another post. So I’ll just say this.

EVERYONE NEEDS TO WATCH THIS SHOW. NOW. If you haven’t, stop reading this and go. GO. NOW. Start.

There is magic here and you don’t even know.

Favourite Moment: ALL OF THEM. But really this one.

Shiro. Just Shiro.

Well, I'll try to write the next one in these next couple of days. Wish me luck.

Thanks for reading💜

[ct99r2d2]

Omega... The Pilot, a study

I keep thinking about this moment from the S3 trailer...and how much Tech (but also Hunter and Wrecker) have prepared Omega for this moment, (whatever it entails).

She has had a long journey of pilot training going back to Season 1 and I am SO excited to see it potentially pay off big in Season 3.

Recapping Omega's journey becoming a pilot so far....

In S1E9 Bounty Lost, Omega does some Piloting trying to escape Cad Bane and Fennec Shand. She was obviously familiar with these flight pods since they were Kaminoan. And I am going to assume that the malfunctioning of the flight pod was because of the abandoned pod itself, and not Omega's doing.

Then shortly after that in S1E10 Devil's Deal, while Omega is giving Hera a tour of the Marauder, she tells Hera that Tech won't let her train at flying the ship until she can recite ALL of the ship's specifications from memory.

Omega and Hera then have a nice exchange where Hera tells Omega that flying is only half about spec's but also about "a feeling". I love this so much because while of course she will get the finest education from Professor Tech and the other boys, having this additional not-by-the-book insight on what might make a good pilot is so great for Omega. (maybe we will see this come to fruition in season 3.....?!?!)

Next in S1E13 War Mantle, Omega is tasked with Piloting the Marauder and stabilizing it close to the mountainside in order to rescue Tech Hunter Echo and Gregor. She only keeps the ship steady for a few moments before Tech comes in to take over, but she got some good practice in!

Presumably she is willing and able to do this because at this point she has been getting some beginner level of flying lessons with Tech. Which means she Also memorized ALL of the ships spec's. (if at this point she Hadn't been receiving flying lessons with Tech yet, then it was probably the emergency rescue of it all and Wrecker would of course be the most encouraging that she take the wheel)

In the Season 2 opening episode Spoils of War, Tech and Omega with a very obvious Teacher/Student dynamic, suggesting they have been doing this for a significant amount of time and at Least since back in S1E10. Now Omega is studying and memorizing ALL of the ships in the Imperial FLEET. Which idk sounds like a Lot. (But also... I BET this will come in handy in Season 3 maybe?!?!)

Later in the same episode, it appears that Omega Also gets regularly scheduled Quiz time with Hunter. (which is ADORABLE)

(and yes I translated the data pad bc hyperfixation is a helluva drug)

Then All of that studying pays off immediately in the same episode when Tech Echo and Omega escape a cargo ship via a cargo container. Which was Omega's suggestion since she knew about the container's reentry thrusters from her studies.

And Tech is even Impressed!

There is a long stretch in Season 2 before there is any more Omega doing Pilot things. But Wow is it worth the Wait!

In S2E14 Tipping Point, FINALLY a Flying Lessons scene with Tech and Omega 🥹 and it's not even the first lesson! Based on their conversation it is apparent they have had Several lessons.

This is a HUGE payoff all the way back to S1E10 when Tech wanted Omega to memorize the Ships specs before training to fly.

From what we see in this Flying Lesson, Omega definitely knows her way around the ships maneuverability and limits, but she still needs practice with Landing. Tech gives her some constructive feedback and they seem to have a good rhythm with training.

Aaaand Now for some crack pot Season 3 Trailer speculation/theorizing...

I think this is definitely Omega at this crash site....especially considering the other shot we get of her in a Pilot seat.

I also think all of the subsequent shots in the trailer of that same shuttle type is also Omega piloting the ship while escaping from Tantis. If this is correct, it's clear that the shuttle is hit mid-escape and that is probably what causes it to eventually have to be crash landed.

And then those last two shots on the bottom right...it's a long shot but I think the shuttle shooting at the Troopers could be Omega (but maybe not) and the Doggo attacking the trooper was for SURE at the crash site with Omega and is probably protecting her here, or just going wild at the trooper. either way I support this doggo friend.

[mrs-monaghan]

He wanted to stay at Jimin's house like he used to before all this.

I've been hearing it from lot of Jkkrs. But are you sure 😭 he was living with JM. Yes we have few similar car moments but other than that ? There is no info

Why would there be in4? Do you know what being in the closet means? You sound stupid

Okay, it has been a very eventful day. But I'll tackle one Jikook ask for the road coz I got 1AM on my end.

Anon, Jikookers have something called common sense. Thats how we came to the conclusion that Jikook were living together and even though it might just be occasionally rn for their safety, I will be using present tense.

When members first moved out, Jimin was the only one who purchased a dilapidated house and anyone could tell he sure as hell wasn't living there. So all 6 others were accounted for except him. So where was he living? Then him and JK were sharing cars all the time. For years. Not "a few moments". And when Hopekook became neighbours, we saw Jhope, Jimin and JK share cars a few times. Again, super sus. Why was it always Jikook at the crime scene?

Anyway, let's look at a few moments in no particular order.

Exhibit a) Spotted outside JK's apartment multiple times.

Exhibit b) Namkook on that one live and RM talked about the cafe infront of their house.

Why is he using our and why is JK nodding in agreement? Last I checked Minimoni are the ones who live in 9/1 not JK.

Moving on

Exhibit c) JK says he will make pizza while looking straight at Jimin which is what prompted Jimin to think he was talking about their home.

Tweet

But then JK clarified that no, he meant at work.

Exhibit d)

When they go home, JK will let Jimin rest. Right. Not sus at all.

Exhibit e) I feel like this sentence went over people's heads.

Jimin doesn't wake up and go look for Jungkook. He wakes up and the first thing he sees, is JK. Thats literally everything right there. Honestly. But sure, I got more.

Exhibit f) My memory is hazy on the context. But RM asked JK why he had watched something. I don't remember what. But JK replied that he watched it because he was at home with him. Him in this case being Jimin.

Exhibit g) Jimin was project manager for BE. So as they were winding up RM told everyone to send their shit to Jimin once they were done.

This part conveniently doesn't get translated but Karmy were kind enough to let us know, when JK taps Jimin's thigh he says; I'll just show it to you.

To recap, anon. Jimin will be at home so everyone else needs to send him their work but JK doesn't need to because he can just show it to him. Because he will already be there with him.

Exhibit h) A favourite of mine. So basically their favorite chef comes over for this episode and brings with him 7 knives including for Suga in absentia. So just so we understand, 7 members, 7 knives.

Basically, members are trying to one up each other and JK is like "we got 2 knives so we win" 👀 Are y'all getting that? Every member left with 1 knife each, but the Park Jeons are way ahead of them because they have 2 knives. Why is JK counting Jimin's knife??

(Side bar: Jimin's face is everything. He knows bae is slipping but he can't do anything without calling attention to it ��😂)

Exhibit i) Last one since I'm out of image space. This one came from our president. Jimin tells us he hangs about at home naked and Jhope added that JK is usually in charge of music. Jimin's face was e👏🏾very👏🏾thing!👏🏾

Tweet

There you have it. Jikook live together. Jikook boyfriends. Jikook real.

[pettypuppy-jonghyun]

Sad Movies | Bang Chan

Summary: you get emotional over fictional characters, bf!Channie does not

Notes: fluffy, mention of sad movies but not in description

Warnings: idk what this is I just hurriedly finished an old draft😓

Chan straightens up when he hears a soft whimper throughout the house. He turns his head slightly to listen again, pausing any other movements. When he confirms his thoughts, he starts to walk to where he thinks the crying is coming from.

He knocks quietly on your shared bedroom door. "Sweetheart?"

You tell him to come in through your sobs. You knew why he was there, checking up on you. You were crying so hard it would be weird if he didn't come at the sound. But you couldn't help it. Not when the show you were watching killed off such a good character.

"What's wrong, baby?" His eyes were full of worry as he entered the room, immediately crawling on the bed to get to you.

You lean into his arms as they wrap around you for protection. "The show! They killed him, Channie. Just killed him off!"

Chan pauses for a second, changing his focus to the tv. Then he lets out a breath of relief and squeezes you tighter. "You're crying over the show?"

Smacking his shoulder, you pushed back from him. "Yes I'm crying over a show! It's sad, dude. Very sad."

Your boyfriend nods in agreement, recognizing the show as something you both watched when it first aired. It had been quite some time since he'd seen it, although he knew this was a rewatch for you. Still, he was quite aware of your emotional connection to fictional characters, regardless of how many times you've seen it play out. You know the character dies and it still hurts you.

"Honey, can you warn me when you watch something like this again? I need to know when to be concerned."

Chan hadn't meant for it to sound as harsh as it did, truthfully. He wanted you to feel a little guilty for making his heart race with worry, hearing you cry so hard. Instead, he made you push him away in annoyance.

"I'll have you know, Sir Bang Chan, that this is concerning that you have never once cried to this show, let alone any show!" You scooted to the far edge of your bed, moving to place pillows in between him and you as a barrier.

His eyebrows raised at your action. Instead of fighting, he nods momentarily while raising his hands in surrender. Chan watches as you turn back to the television, reaching blindly for a tissue and bringing it straight up to your nose for a harsh blow. He cringes softly and begins to back away and off the bed.

"I'm just glad you're okay," he laughs lightly, heading towards the bedroom door to escape.

You began to sigh heavily as the show continued, the scene of your favorite character's death playing over again as a next episode recap. Instead of skipping it, like you should have, you watched it over as you felt your frustration pent up. Chan would never understand how devastating it was to watch the people on the show cry so desperately in hopes to have their loved one back in their arms.

"You just don't have a heart!" You suddenly say to your boyfriend, catching his attention again. "Anyone with emotions would cry at this tragedy. They didn't even need to kill him!"

Chan felt the challenge that came with those words. His head tilted to the side as he narrowed his eyes, slowly turning to meet your gaze. "I think I have more emotions than you."

You shook your head defiantly, wiping the tears away with more tissues. "Not a chance. Only psychopaths don't cry at sad movies." You paused for a moment, thinking about your words. "I'm sure you didn't cry for the 'Bridge to Terabithia' movie, or maybe even 'Big Daddy's couldn't make you cry."

He eased himself back onto the bed on the opposite side of your pillow barrier. "Well maybe I would if I had ever seen those."

You gasped at the new information. "What?! Never seen them? Were you born under a rock?!"

Chan picked up a pillow, tossing it at your face in an attempt to quiet you. "That's what I said, isn't it?"

You say up on your knees, completely ignoring your show as you turned to face your lover completely. "Okay so what about A walk to remember'?" At the shake of his head you continued to list," 'The Notebook', 'A Werewolf Boy', 'Always'?"

You stared at him in shock, listing both American and Korean movies with no luck. If only you knew popular Australian movies, maybe that would make a difference.

You hesitated to offer one last sad movie, " 'Marley and me'?"

Chan jumped, pointing a finger towards you. "Oooh, yes! That one. I've seen that one, it's actually a really sad movie."

Finally finding a common movie, you looked at him expectantly. "So? Did you cry?"

He shook his head. "No."

You sighed, throwing yourself back onto the bed in defeat. You were right after all: only psychopaths don't cry at sad movies. You could never watch 'Marley and me' without bawling your eyes out. In fact, you had only seen it one other time because of it. Sure, some people had a range of emotional strength when it came to sad movies, but there's a limit.

"You're just plain heartless," you muttered beneath your hands that covered your face.

Chan giggled beside you, maneuvering so he hovered directly above you. He gently pried away your hands, smiling brightly at your distressed expressions. "I cry when it comes to you," he reasoned thoughtfully. "Everything about you is so beautiful and perfect I can't help but tear up sometimes."

You rolled your eyes at his flirting. "Not the same, Christopher."

He laughed loudly, leaning down to peck your lips. "Alright you got me, I'm a cold hearted animal. Just please, for the love of everything living in this world, tell me when you're wanting to upset yourself by rewatching sad things."

You watched as he began to leave the bedroom again. "I know you can't be human if you didn't cry at Highschool Musical whenever Gabriella left Troy-"

"Now that!" Chan pauses in his steps, turning to point a finger at you again. "That I cried to. Every time."

[nicksolemnlyswears]

HOTD S2 EP2 THOUGHTS

SPOILERS AHEAD

I need to start this by the very strange scene at the brothel. It took me so much by surprise I had to pause it. Like we all know these boys have mommy issues but I always thought it was more Aegon than Aemond. Like wow. I was left like this

It was the intimate position, his hair was down, the lack of clothes. He was completely vulnerable. Aemond wanted to be coddled and to be told reassuring words.

I didn’t understand well the part where she tries to kiss him and he says “not here” like sure man. you’re just naked and telling the keeps secret but go off [ngl i was waiting for her to pop a boob out and breast feed him]

that woman is a dangerous woman. she had scheming eyes. we’ll see where that goes.

Following up with the mommy issues I am so disappointed in Alicent. Aegon is clearly not her favorite child I do not know how she can bear seeing him weep as he seeks her out and she just nopes out. WTF. No wonder your other son is seeking refuge elsewhere. Also forcing Haelena to do the funeral proceeding. What sort of mother are you? The Greens think they’re so high and mighty but they barely resemble a family. They are not a united front.

The funeral proceedings almost had me in tears. I didn’t think they’d show the poor child with its head sewn back together. I thought he’d be covered. Now more so than ever I curse Alicent. You are forcing your daughter who had to witness his death relieve this scene. You forced her to watch her son be paraded around the city.

Daemon fucked up and it’s because of him that a child is dead and yet I can’t bring myself to hate the Blacks. The Greens are terrible people.

Aegon is falling apart and mourning and he has no one to come to. He doesn’t know how to control his emotions and I can’t blame him for it when his mother and grandfather only use him as a puppet and not a real human being. I pity the Hightower children.

That being said WTF was that? Making Ser Criston Cole the hand to the king? Disgusting. He was projecting so hard during this episode. Bitching about Arryks dirty cloak and blaming him for Jaeherys death.

BITCH IT WAS YOUR FAULT FOR GETTING YOUR COCK WET. FUCKING CRISTON COLE I CANT FUCKING STAND HIM. I CANT EVEN SAY IM HAPPY ALICENT SLAPPED HIM CAUSE HE PROBABLY ENJOYED IT.

I’ve got more to say regarding the Greens but my blood pressure is going up. Let me recap I hate them and I pity them all at the same time because the three children are only products of Alicent and Otto’s parenting (Viserys up to some point to)

Oh and let’s not forget Otto’s kind words for Viserys. He probably just misses how easy he was to control.

MOVING ONTO THE BLACKS

Baby Jace and Baela I love that little moment and yet I fear it because she’s out there on cute little Moondancer and it sounds like trouble.

Love the Ser Harwin talk. They acknowledge it and they accept it. Talk about being progressive.

But also so sad that Baela feels that way towards Daemon. I had high hopes for their relationship considering that deleted scene in season 1.

RHAENYS HAVING RHAENYRAS BACK TALK ABOUT FEMINISM. HELL YEAH! I fully want Rhaenys to be Rhaenyras ride or die!!

Daemon fucked up, yes. Will we ever know what he told Blood and Cheese? No. Still I can’t blame Rhaenyra for doubting him. He’s a sketchy man who puts on his little cloak to commit war crimes.

Don’t get me wrong I’m a Daemon stan but if he didn’t act so sketchy maybe we would trust him more.

He’s a dramatic guy he’s out commuting yet another big declaration of love for Rhaenyra. Like “look i’ve got harrenhal for you” I think idk we’ll see next episode.

Ser Arryk and Ser Erryk how fucking tragic. and whose fault is it? FUCKING CRISTON COLE PIECE OF SHIT

breathe nikki breathe

a part of me thinks he killed himself because he knew they would live in doubt if he’s really sir erryk. but in reality they believed they share a soul so that was probably why. he killed his other fucking half. they might be divided by believes but they still love each other.

ELINDA IS A REAL HANDMAID. SHE FOLLOWED INSTRUCTIONS AND LOOKED FOR A GUARD. Haelenas maid could never.

I have so many more thoughts so if anyone wants to talk please feel free to hit me up. I’ll probably rewatch the episode tomorrow again to process

[woodsfae]

B5 s04e03 The Summoning previous episode - table of contents

OK. I saw a spoiler saying that Lyta blew up a planet with her mind. And now every episode I'm like "IS SHE GOING TO BLOW UP A PLANET NOW" and she hasn't done it. This episode title isn't exactly planet-explosion material to me. And also, planet-exploding sounds like season finale type of shit to me. But I'm getting very impatient for the planetary explosions.

Love Susan's new mission, but am worried that she's going to get picked off out there alone, like G'Kar. 

And she taught herself Minbari uh. To a degree. lol!! Assigned translator politely, but firmly. 

"Tell the crew: anyone who laughs answers to me personally."

I am personally impressed that Delenn and Marcus both contained themselves. 

Wow, G'Kar is not having a good time. Ooof. fuckin. Too tragic! Give G'Kar a few wins to balance out the entire lifetime of extreme shit. 

Delenn voiceover after the credits. They are leaning hard on recapping every character's whereabouts at the beginning of each episode. I am assuming they didn't want the audience to be too lost if they missed an episode or two as it aired? 

Zack Allen is feeling authoritative! Telling Delenn what must be done. An unfortunately for my dislike of him, he is right, and they ought to go look for G'Kar. 

Londo got a haircut, looks like. That crest is definitely shorter. I find Londo and his storyline to be sad and tired. 

Torturers are unionized on Centauri, lovely. 

And this is an excessively awful fate for anyone, let alone one of my long-term faves like G'Kar. 

Vir: Emperor Cartagia needs to be stopped, but I don't know about regicide. Cartagia: Tried to chop G'Kar's hands off, lol. Vir: Londo, you have my murder blessing.

Zack Allen vs a rogue faction of PsiCorps? A Shadows-collaborating wing? 

not-Kosh has robbed Lyta of all but one of her belongings! Did he even let her keep a change of clothes? Everyone's got such unique problems. Lyta's is that she's being terrorized by a god having a meltdown over realizing mortality is a thing that applies to themself.

introducing the one, the only, psipuppet!Garibaldi. He has had repeated interest in PsiCorps and has investigated them, has contacts in them. I wonder if that's going to help him resist or anything.

Dang Lyta. I don't remember seeing the gills before. not-Kosh is a dick. 

Partner: "Dark Garibaldi! Dark Kotch!"

His memory of B5 is imperfect. 

fuck off, Londo. 

G'Kar won't oblige their oppressors...and he doesn't let a single hitch hit his voice when speaking with Londo, either. Speaks volumes. 

"I hope she appreciates it," & "Me too, *glances at Susan*" is toooo funny. 

There is no end to the drama Cartagia is into. 

The torture is gratuitous. The way G'Kar's story and later writing is handled is definitely my most major gripe. I don't find it to be well done for a lot of reasons I might write an essay about one of these days.

I'm afraid I don't have any theories about who was able to override B5's security. Sheridan? And reveal his escape in a dramatic flashback later? 

lol, yes. And to disprove Delenn's naysayers so immediately and firmly. 

Protester: "Captain we thought you were dead." Sheridan: "I was. I'm better now." 

Sheridan's plotline on the other hand really tickles my fancy. His legend is fucking wild, and now he's bartered for his life with the eldest of the elder gods, and returned from the dead and promised Delenn he'd do it again. 

Lorien is there! On B5! lmfao. I guess when you've hung out with two gods, fought and killed other gods, it ain't no thing to have the elder god hanging out. 

Oh fuck, the Vorlons destroyed an entire planet and it's 4 million inhabitants in order to remove the Shadows and their influence. That is an extreme position and escalation. It kinda just makes sense to me that this is an ideological struggle between the Vorlons and Shadows. That's a lot of lower order races caught in a really big vice. 

And the League knows much less about Vorlons and their weaknesses than the Shadows and theirs. 

epic! It is continually impressive how much this sci-fi feels like high fantasy, and how correct and exciting it is for the main characters to create their own great deeds that rival the gods and all their powers. 

Also....I cannot believe I was excited about planets blowing up at the beginning of the episode. I didn't mean blow up planets like that!"

and another!

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 2 thoughts

(racing against time because a thunderstorm is rapidly encroaching but i need to know what happens next)

and for once, a storm did not disrupt my streaming experience! but i almost wish it did. because this episode made me very sad. let's jump in.

we got another “previously on the X files” at the start... is that what is gonna happen every time now?? not sure if i like that or not. but i'm sure it was useful back when you had to wait a week in between episodes, to jog the memory.

noooo not the alien gassing scene again!!! it was featured in our recap. and it was just as evil as the first time.

so now the story begins.

we're back in New Mexico. Albert is talking about the story of the gila monster. it is a great story! i wonder if they had cultural consultants for this season, or hired an Indigenous writer.

Albert announces that a great event took place on the plains!!! a white buffalo was born on the same day mulder was revived…. this is a powerful omen of great changes.

(and the buffalo didn’t look white, but tbh, probs hard to find one for such a scene, so perhaps washed out lighting was the best they could do. i understand the constraints)

does the theme sound slightly off? almost like it starts on a different beat now. OH they cut the whole thing short. well that would explain the difference i felt. why would they do this to me? i was well-accustomed to the rhythm! can't a girl groove a little?

okay, NOW we're back to the gun off between scully and skinner. and it’s tense!

mulder bursts in and I’m CACKLINGGG. please, this had to be the last thing he was going to expect. his boss and his bestie with guns in each other's faces. i’m cryinggg

(also her face. her face when she sees it is him. it's sooo good)

“you okay, scully?”, he asks, adding his gun to the fray “yeah”, she says, as she looks at the man back from the dead... ohhhhhhh... the sense of relief

and OHHHH they BOTH pull guns on skinner to get the tape back!! i'm SOOOOOOO seated. this is juicy.

and i hate to say it, but skinner is lowkey making sense here with his campaign to keep the tape. he says that they don’t want it back in "their" hands. skinner seems deeply confused regarding whatever the hell just happened but they finally agree that he should hold onto it for now.

this next part, when they leave his place. man. i'm just gonna keep it verbatim because it captured a lot of emotions:

"OHHHH LOOK AT HER FACE WHEN THEY GET ALONE TOGETHER OHHH SHE’S SOOOO CUTE OHHH THE LITTLE SMILE OH I’M DEAD"

it was SO sweet. she couldn't believe it. he tried to say something but she cut him off, saying she went to his father's funeral and told his mom she would be okay, because she knew it. she didn't know how, but she knew it.

(they were leaned in so close for so long... for a split second i thought they would kiss and then the elevator closed... ohhh. maybe they did and we just didn't see it)

((maybe this is the part where they kissed in the bloopers i have seen floating around? if so. i get it. i think i would have done the same had i found myself acting in such a scenario))

but the sweetness cannot last, and we are back to the hospital, where poor mrs. scully is dealing with learning her OTHER daughter was shot in the head. the head!!! a terrible place to be shot!!! they put melissa in an induced coma!!!!! melissa did not deserve this and scully doesn’t even KNOW this has happened!!

ohh, i’m sad. but we’re back with the lone gunmen, and things are okay in scully’s mind, because mulder’s back and they have a trail to chase and she doesn’t know yet that her sister was shot in the head. and i’m sad because she doesn’t know such a horrible thing happened, but also i want to be happy because she’s happy. her face when she saw him. i will think about it for decades.

operation paper clip mentioned... ah, yes, i have heard of this. they mention a nazi named “Victor Klemper”... is he real? verdict is in, one search later: victor is NOT real. but he has a very similar name to a real famous german historian!

“what would he be doing in a photo with your father”, asks scully. and why did she say this in a manner that was, to me, seductive? you know what? i think honestly it’s a me problem. shame on me for being distracted from the narrative by such things.

frohike and mulder reunion!!! it is sweet. but only for a moment is it sweet, because he breaks the news on scully's sister, who is horrified.

she runs really fast to try and go see her, but mulder catches up to her in the stairwell when she is almost out the door, and says the people who meant to kill her will be waiting at the hospital. oh, and melissa's earlier words from s2 episode 8, about mulder trying to get even, are prophetic here… “cause the only thing you can do for her right now is to try to crucify them", he says. it is a shame her wishes for peace and acceptance instead of violence couldn't be honored, and that going to visit her wouldn't be safe.

at the UN alien council. they are discussing this "serious mistake", of shooting melissa instead of scully. OH! the man from the funeral is there!!!

(for the sake of this episode, he shall bear the moniker "funeral man". but if he has a real name, please feel free to share. i'm asking you to do so. because i come up with these things on the fly. and i really could read the credits i guess but this is mostly just a one person operation with google only serving to check historical accuracy, not things as risky to spoilers as the NAMES of the CHARACTERS!)

((but i did see cig man/cancer man referred to in my notes once as "csr" which actually made sense. because i had spun one of those "fuck marry kill" wheels on here and gotten "csr x files" and i had no idea who that was referring to. but it turns out i did know him. kill btw))

funeral man is calling out cig man’s “ridiculously ineffectual assassins”, which, honestly, what did we expect from krychek? and oh, he is digging INTO cig man. it's enjoyable to witness. he’s being called out for mulder not really being dead AND the tape not really being in his hands like he claims. cig man LIES (average thing for him to be doing, all things considered), and tells the others on the alien council that “i’ll have it here for you tomorrow” which is an awful big promise. a very very big promise. 

next scene: a greenhouse! it's quite lovely until it isn't, because the old man tending to the flowers is victor, a nazi who got clemency under operation paperclip. so a very very bad fellow. scully is being mean to him, but obviously he deserves much, much, much worse. 

he asks about a formula and scully knows it, then says the photo was from west virginia. those are the only cryptic clues he offers. okay, off to a very mountainous road trip. god bless their poor souls. dealing with motion sickness on top of all the mess at hand.

funeral man is receiving a call from victor. they know each other? he snitched that mulder visited the greenhouse. and victor says funeral man was “venal”. new word learned! meaning susceptible to bribery!! is this the truth...?? i mean i THINK mulder comes from money due to the whole martha's vineyard thing, but does he have enough to buy his way out of this?

also. let's ask the real question. why is victor calling and dropping clues. is it fun for him.

anyway, the rest of the alien subdivision of the UN says that they are calling in “their friends who will handle this matter more satisfactorily” because krychek obviously sucks at his job 

KRYCHEK SPOTTED at the hospital! wait no it was actually just another random well-dressed guy stalking about. BUT YOU KNOW WHO IS HERE: ALBERT!!!!

did he come all the way here from New Mexico or was he is in the region... 😭😭 Albert, you deserve more than this earth will ever give you. so much has been taken from you. and yet you continue to give.

our agents are pulling up to west virginia. it looks like a ghost town, and i’ve heard that is an accurate depiction. they walk into an abandoned place. with bats in the building!! be careful!! they are rabies vectors!!!

(can you imagine if the show just ended here because mulder got rabies and died. pause to imagine this with me. then i will walk you back to the stuff that actually did happen)

ohh, and as they enter this place, the score is going wild!!! i'm rocking with it. i love a good score. the suspense is building. i ALWAYS want there to be violins to indicate suspense.

they find some locked doors with keypads, and they’re putting in 27828. it’s not working so he’s like "are you SURE scully?" and she says “i’m positive, Napier’s constant is the basis of all natural logarithms” and i giggled. and maybe also kicked my feet and twirled my hair. 

(i am learning, through this liveblog, that nothing makes me blush more than pretty people reciting semi-obscure facts. make of that observation what you will, because op will be contemplating it for a while)

they finally get it open!! i never doubted your number skills, scully. but before they go in, she’s worried about how he’ll feel!!!! what if his father was a bad guy :( “I just know how it would affect me” :((((( she is so thoughtful...

(i'm torn between making a genuine observation on the fact that despite she just learned her sister is dying, she still makes time to be certain mulder is okay with proceeding because it could be upsetting to him. and the other thing i'm thinking about is that that one meme that says "pearl is so kind" and i'm just imagining scully there instead of pearl. i suppose there is room for both)

back to skinner’s office. cig man has arrived. skinner is approaching him like an animal its prey, while bill clinton looms over the corner. 

skinner says he MAY have found the cassette and cig man is PISSSSSED at the implication he would “work deals”. well king!! you may have no choice!

(i hope that what skinner REALLY has is an identical cassette that just has syllables that LOOK like Navajo code but actually mean absolutely nothing. that would be evil and entertaining to me)

cig man looks like he is gonna CRY he is so desperate! but he is basically saying he’ll kill skinner if he has to, so watch out. and AGAIN. banger tv score as all this goes down.

our agents are in an old mine. it’s very dark and full of records!

(turns on the lights and sees the rows of cabinets stretch for what seems like eternity) “lots of files” “lots and lots of files” <- so true

mulder kinda sounds like he’s gonna have a breakdown. all the files have tissue in them... gross???? he asks when she was born so they can check that year’s files AND SEE IF SHE IS IN THEM. OH GOSH. 

and they find her file right away!!! it has a tissue sample and everything, and it’s recent, and that means the project must still be ongoing, despite how abandoned this mine is.

THEY FIND HIS SISTER’S FILE!!!! we are getting so close to answers. but there is a sticker over her name, because the file was originally his. so someone swapped his sister for him???

he’s freaking the fuck out at some large noises, and he runs and leaves her in the archives. something is hissing. AN ARMY OF ALIENS SCAMPERS BY???? they are running from something. HUH??? dana scully alien encounter??? did they just run by her or was that a different corridor in this endless mountain maze. did she see them. it was like a stampede. very hard to miss.

it seems that the aliens from the spaceship are coming and mulder is drawn to them. HIDE! HIDE FROM THEM! THEY WILL TAKE YOU!

he sees a GIANT spaceship flying over the compound. like giant and it’s super bright and it just. flies over. well, I guess west virginia isn’t a bad place to hide such things. due to the lack of people there.

this is not a dig at west virginia it's just rather sparsely populated.

scully is down in the archives still, and a whole lot of people are rolling up with guns. NOOO!! they are shooting at him!!!! with a stormtrooper aim. he is escaping their bullets as if this is just a jungle gym for him.

REUNION in the dark archives!!! scully found a back way out, where it seems the aliens left!!!! they're running into the woods together!!! it’s almost romantic!!!

skinner cam. he’s in maryland. at a nice little diner in the middle of nowhere. WITH OUR AGENTS!!!!

mulder says the hit squad looked like CIA, and i assumed there was some CIA-FBI tensions, but i’m unfamiliar with the lore, in terms of both real life and txf universe. it seems it’s severe though. skinner says he’ll negotiate their lives for the tape but mulder is like NO the public deserves the truth. which is lovely. i love ideals and sticking to your morals. and he’ll die for it bitch!!! he did once!!

“in your wildest dreams, what do you possibly hope to find, agent mulder?” “why they killed my father. and what happened to my sister” ohhh mulder sounds so scared and hurt... because he is. all this talk of truth and morals guiding his life but also this whole thing is so intensely personal for him, it seems impossible to separate one cause from the other. ohh i'm emotional. 

“and what they did to agent scully”, he adds OHHHHH oh man. his family. they took his family. and he needs revenge, he needs to know. and she is included in that. MAN.

scully says they should make the deal, he says “what makes you think there’s any such thing as justice?”, it’s heating up. again, i say: replace the cassette with out of context Navajo syllables. hire me for the FBI.

i was concerned about scully advocating for the deal- does not the truth mean something to her? of course we know it does, but she is being realistic. the truth won't mean much if they're on the run forever, and there is no one to corroborate their story. but she clarifies:

"i want exactly what you want. but i need to see my sister” :((( they both look so sad

“it’s up to you, scully” he’s mad and torn but he leaves the choice to her because her opinion is the one he cares the most about :( and really there are no good options, it's an awful situation

she said to make the deal, but not hand over the tape until mulder says to. hmm. will this plan work?

“i’m sorry about your sister, scully”, he finally says, and she replies that “i just need to know she’s going to be okay”. but i’m not sure it’s looking so good for her and that makes me SO SAD. on the ride home, she sits in the back and lets mulder take shotgun. and i realize, this is because she’s probably gonna cry back there and try to hide it. OUGH.

albert back at the hospital! he prayed over missy for two days. have we said thank you to him? and if so we should keep saying it until we all perish.

but he has received news from the north: the white buffalo calf that was such a strong omen is no longer drinking its mother’s milk. and the mom is sad, and then she died. this is not a good sign. “for something to live, another thing must often be sacrificed”, he says, and it becomes clear someone is not making it out of this episode. i hope against all hope it was krychek that was going to bite it.

it was not :(

skinner here at the hospital to see melissa. he tells scully’s mom that dana is okay, but in a very serious situation they hope to reverse :( 

albert points out that some guy has been snooping in on their room (and it wasn’t krychek, whose name corrects to all caps in my phone, because i only speak of him with hate in my heart) but just some other similar looking guy. skinner says albert, you stay here, i’m going off. hopefully for some hospital violence. hospital violence ensues!!! and this time krychek IS there.

but the violence does not go in the direction i hoped for, which was for skinner to kick some ass. it's three on one, they beat him and leave him in the corner and take the tape!!!! noooooooo!! poor skinner, i was coming around to you.

also leaving this next part verbatim because it is funny:

"fucking krychek i hate everything about you and i hate your new slicked back greaser hair and i hope you trip and fall and all of your limbs fall off and the doctors wonder how they can even happen because they have never seen it before WHAT NOW HE’S RUNNING??? the car blew up before he ran away. and the folks he was running from SEE him running away so he literally can’t even do a good job at bailing"

(if you need a translation: krychek's fellow assassins stopped to grab some drinks, so he pocketed the cassette and left before their car blew up)

back at the greenhouse. our agents are looking for victor, who apparently died yesterday. and funeral man is here!!! they openly accuse him of killing victor. he does not deny this claim.

funeral man is going on about roswell, operation paperclip, and mengele. he’s going on about hybrid orchids and mulder realizes that victor must have been trying to create an alien-human hybrid. which would explain the smallpox vaccination scars in the alien bodies found in New Mexico. FUNERAL MAN. WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON??

he's on the side of whoever can solve his little riddles i guess

mulder is MAD his dad was involved with this, but scully says it can’t be true, because DNA wasn’t even a thing people knew of until 1944. i mean, they’re lying about a whole lot. why not lie about the timeline of DNA discovery, too?

funeral man says men like mr. mulder were instructed to gather genetic data on the general populace, and that his dad had objected strongly to its true purpose. allegedly this experiment was for post apocalyptic identification, which doesn't really make sense to be, but okay. hundreds of millions of americans had their info collected from smallpox vaccine data.

scully is saying that it’s all a lie, that he’s saying everything mulder wants to hear, and i'm agreeing with her. funeral man says “why would i lie to you?” um better question: what would you gain by telling the truth??

mulder flat out yells that she was abducted by aliens and this doesn’t go over well as you can probably guess. she is working overtime to NOT think about that. so she walks away from the whole thing.

leaving just the two conspirators. OH, listen to this: funeral man claims they took his sister as insurance because his father threatened to expose the project!! “you also threaten to expose the project. you’ve become your father” <- hmm. that is a bold claim. because mulder has never willingly engaged in the creation of alien-human hybrids. 

chat, do we believe him? i feel that samantha’s abduction being an act of random and horrific tragedy seems more likely. and possibly more poignant. 

krychek is on the phone with cig man. “i’m alive. isn’t that a surprise?” “yes, yes, good good good. where are you?” <- LMAOOOO king of playing it casual

“somewhere where you’ll never find me, you double crossing son of a bitch” hmmm. the double crosser gets double crossed. shocked pikachu face. he threatens to make cig man “famous”, which i wouldn't be opposed to, which is NOT the same as endorsing him or his actions. 

cig man says there is no deal to make regarding the files and the agent’s lives. oh, so he thinks he can just have both, i see how it is

very sudden cut to mulder at his mom’s house at 2 am. asking his mom if she ever had to choose a favorite child. she keeps denying and denying until:

“no. i couldn’t choose. it was your father’s choice. and i hated him for it. even in his grave i hate him still” OHHHH this is adding validity to the theory that funeral man was telling the TRUTH???? poor Samantha :(

wait this is SO sad. and to think of how harsh his dad was to him while he was alive. how he must have expected the absolute best from his son because he knows he chose him over his sister. and how the only consolation for having to make that choice is to expect his son to be Perfect. which could never happen. just leaving him in deep distress. man. that is truly messed up.

man. i feel like we need space for that revelation.

but cig man is at skinner’s office. lighting up. as usual. skinner says he has the tape in exchange for the safety of the agents, but cig man says he knows skinner is bluffing

HOLY FUCK: “you ever wondered what it would be like to, uh, die in a plane crash? of botulism? even a heart attack?” <- HUH???? his melodic cadence makes this even scarier. goodness that escalated quickly.

“i’m not finished yet” (skinner fetches Albert) ALBERT??? I LOVE HIM TOO MUCH FOR HIM TO BE AT THIS SCENE. GET HIM OUT OF HERE. KEEP HIM SAFE. OH: ALBERT CAN RECITE EVERYTHING FROM THE TAPE. 

albert please do not bring this risk upon yourself, i mumble to myself OH! he told 20 other people from the tribe. “so unless you kill every Navajo living in four states… that information is available with a simple phone call. welcome to the wonderful world of high technology” wow. skinner if you had access to the tech i know about i think you would be so pleased. or maybe not. regardless, a good play. just KEEP albert safe i am NOT messing around.

cig man gets scared and leaves. as he should!

mulder at the hospital. scully is sitting alone. NO??? NOT MELISSA??? 

no, it can't be true, but it is: melissa died in surgery.

they both agree they need to get back to work so they have something to keep them from going insane with grief. their whole exchange was very emotional and powerful, but i was too sad to make extensive notes, so i'll have to circle back to that someday.

and she says “i’ve heard the truth. now what i want are the answers”. he holds her while she sits and stares at her sister's empty hospital bed. 

NOOOOO. i am filled with such sadness. scully now has to live with this belief that her sister died for her, and that she didn’t get to say thank you. and i’m very sad because i liked melissa a lot and scully deserves no pain. and her poor mother... oh, there are real tears in my eyes while i type this.

and mulder, forced to know that his father chose him over his sister, that his father was involved in what he sought to destroy, that had his father picked any other line of work, he could have had a normal, happy childhood. what the fuck. this is sooo evil. i’m sad!!! yeah i’m crying about the damn alien show. so what!!! so what!!!

listen, just because an episode is sad, does not mean it wasn’t good. it was a very good episode. i’m just sad. sometimes multiple things can be true.

grief of our main agents and their families aside, my top concern is Albert. is he going to be safe and protected? can he continue to spread the oral tradition? maybe get it written down too, for extra insurance? typed up? saved? backed up? written in notebooks? stored in archives? is he even telling the TRUTH? do other Navajo men actually know to recite the files and how to decode them? that seems like it will take a very long time to learn.

my main takeaway from the episode is to not work for the government because they will ruin your life.

it was a good episode. a great episode, even. but I’m gonna need about 30 beach episodes to make up for it. and also for the og theme to come back because you can’t change that up on me once I’m in a pattern. 

[celebrimbor-apologist]

Liveblog of 2x08

Spoilerssss

Not ready. 

Not today, Recap 

Oh no, we are starting with Durin. 

DISA IS ALIVE 

KISS KISS KISS Oh I love them I will not survive this episode. 

….hi Balrog. 

Oh Durin oh love. No, this is not about strength. Please King Durin. But it won’t work because… I just don’t think it will.

Durin please, do not give in. Please. 

…hi Balrog properly. 

Oh well 

DURIN???? DURIN YOU OKAY???? 

Okay he alive 

YES TAKE IT OOOOF

Oh he is dad again, he leaves the ring and is- 

"Forgive me my son. King Durin"

Oh my HEART. 

DISA

Oh FUCK

Durin and Elrond recovering side by side manifesting NOW 

Yes I am watching the intro sequence because I need the comfort of it. 

Okay hello Rhûn

Hello stranger. 

MANWE????? MANWE PROMISED?? I DON'T THINK SO?????

“Old Friend” will forever sound homoerotic, X-men did that.

“My people were once kings” Whelp. Sauron's gonna make you kings again, babes, don't worry

I am so weary of this Dark Wizard.

“Pity will not defeat Sauron” Hahaha, Samwise disagrees, though I’d call it Compassion but that might just be 3000 years of language change in action

OH YOU BITCH 

Oh Stranger you beautiful son of a-

OH THE TREE OH THE TREE 

Númenor <3 

BEWITCH THE SEA???

OH YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE I AM TAKING YOUR FUCKING KNEECAPS 

Oh Númenor you are so fucked 

Elendil? Elendil where are you? 

The tears of the Valar themselves. Jup. 

Oh come on Elendil. 

Eärien, you have won back my love. 

No Míriel he really don’t wanna leave you, and I support him

Elendil. Oh Elendil and Mírel I love you both so much. 

NARSIL 

WHAT WHAT WHATAHEHJJCÄPJefpojdfknvkehräp

RECLAIM YOUR LORDSHIP

NARSIL 

Aaaaaand back to Eregion 

Okay Eregion Elf Archer you will not be forgotten 

Galadriel 

I WILL GIVE YOU NINE 

GALADRIEL 

NO 

Oh no

No 

No… No please, please…

“Look what you have done to yourself” I will personally end you. I will- I don’t even know what is really horrible to do?? I WILL- 

And he still resists. 

Defiant beloved Tyelpe

“Hear the dying words of Celebrimbor”

“The rings of power shall destroy you” THEY WILLLLLLL 

The haunting theme 

TYELPE 

Oh my dearest love 

TYELPERINQUAR 

Tyelpe 

Tyelpe died in his forge 

Tyelpeeeeee I’m not kidding, I am actually sobbing. Violently. Had to pause

THE MUSIC 

THE FUCKING TEAR OH ANNATAR I WILL FEED YOU TO THE DUCKS

“I have many names” Yeah, idiot, same, I'm trans too, but I’m not a fucking bastard asshole dickhead... I don't like insulting people so I'm out of insults.

Oh hi Isildur great, it’s about Estrid, means I can chill for a second 

I mean, at least we didn’t see the torture happen. But you know what?! I can fix this. I don’t fucking care anymore, fix it number seven if I need to but I am NOT LETTING TYELPE GO OKAY. Five stages of grief? NO, I am not moving past Denial. Deal with it.

Oh Theo hug nice.

Hi Estrid 

Well she is honest I can appreciate that

KEMEN FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFF DIEEEEEEEE

Horse more useful than Kemen confirmed

Everyone wanting to punch Kemen as much as I do huh?

Galadriel if you give him the Nine I will end you

OH NO HE IS WEARING HER RING

OH YOU CLEAN UP NICELY

NAME??? GIVE US THE FUCKING NAME PLEASE

He gives it back??? ADAR REDEMPTION??? I STAN I LOVE I LOVE I LOVE 

"No more flames and no more darkness" Yes pls

Please I NEED his name now. 

Oh… Oh that’s Glûg… 

Oh I KNEW IT. 

They Sauron’d him. But hey, Adar looks less like a loser than Sauron in his Straight Era so.

Galadriel-

Oh hi Annatar 

OH THERE IT IS 

THE R 

THE R IN GALADRIEL I FUCKING LOVE THIS, Galadrriellllllll

OH NO. NOT THE FUCKING PARALLEL 

“Bring me their leaders” 

I still need Adar’s old name. This is such a Darkling moment. I neeed. (I caps-locked too much, my goddamn shift key is broken)

Yes fight him 

Never make war in anger Galadriel 

OH NO 

Gil and Elrond 

Ereinion <3 

Oh Elrond 

Ereinion is mad <3 

HOLY SHIT VIOLENT ELROND????? FOR EREINION???? YES PLEASE????

ARONDIR 

GIL WITH A KNIFE TO HIS THROAT 

I AM NOT OKAY

This is still not as bad as last episode hahaha.....

The way I fucking Screamed when she dropkicked him 

OH NO OH NO IT’S HOT SAURON (hysteric giggling)

Okay but Halbrand never looked so baby as Sauron does now sorry, loser man (derogatory) , si

Oh well but Sauron does not SOUND like her, similar but not the same, Morfyd Clark your SKILL 

“I know your mind” Oh go fuck yourself 

YESSSS GIRL GET ITTTTTTTTT “THE DOOR IS SHUT” FUCK HIM UPPPPPP 

YES HE HAS BEEN CUT THE-

Galadriel no 

Nononono

No, you have your ring you must be okay you must be okay you have plot armour 

I love how today Sauron gets told off by all of his exes <3 Celebrimbor, Adar, Galadriel <3 <3

Fuck he has the Nine

Horns?? "DWARVES" Ereinion stop looking so annoyed they are here to help, Gil-galad, king of standing in places prettily and autism you are the love of my life.

GIL BATTLE BRAID GIL BATTLE BRAIIIIID EREINION GIL-GALAD BATTLE BRAID OH I LOVE HIM. NO LONGER PRETTY STANDING IN PLACES BUT PRETTILY FUCKING SHIT UUUUUUUUP 

(Someone please hug Elrond by the way)

Oh Annatar you can’t take the ring can you? She has to give it up. Oh I love it because this is not his ring - he had no part in it. 

FUCK 

NO GALADRIEL REMEMBER CELEBRIMBOR DON’Ttttt

“You wish to heal middle earth? Heal yourself” That is the BEST way anyone has ever been told to get therapy ngl

Arondir and Gil? 

Ring Time 

GIL IN ACTION 

Oh I love him, oh Ereinion my love. 

But the ring can

“I can” 

Oh Elrond. Oh my love. He hates this, but he loves her more. 

Oh Poppy

And the forge falls

Oh Elrond

Míriel 

Elendil 

OH YOU FUCKING DICKHEAD FEANOR’S HAMMER REALLY

I HOPE TYELPE HAUNTS YOU INTO THE FIRES OF MOUNT DOOM

Well. Gandalf it is. 

They say goodbye now, huh? 

Ah there is his stick huh

Hi Tom

Old Tom Bombadil <3

“Valley north of here” Good. Good that is Imladris 

Oh Ereinion. OH EREINION.

Oh Elrond.

Oh he smile <3 I needed this 

Remember the council of Celebrim-

VOROHIL VOROHIL VOROHILListen that end scene????? I AM FINE HOLY FUCK I AM FINEEEEEEEEE

[finelinevogue]

the morning after

Gwen and Aria's POV:

"Babe are you ready? It's about to start!" Gwen shouted to Aria from the sofa.

Aria was busy making them both hot chocolates in the kitchen, so they could enjoy a drink whilst watching the newest episode of Love Island together.

"Coming!"

Gwen's face lit up when she saw her girlfriend walk in the room, Aria's tongue slightly sticking out from concentrating on not dropping the drinks. She graciously took her hot drink and made room for Aria to sit down next to her, cuddling close.

"Thank you." Gwen kissed Aria's cheek and Aria kissed her cheek back in response, before both of them quietened down as the Love Island recap appeared on the screen.

"Last time..." Ian's voice sounded over last nights episode montage, "The heart rate challenge got everyone feeling flustered and even took two people to the hideaway."

"Oh my god! I forgot about that!" Aria gasped, watching Y/N and Harry in the hideaway together. "I've missed them so much."

"Babe, they were literally on our screen last night." Gwen laughed, thinking about how Aria had only become hers last night too.

"Feels like a lifetime ago..."

The screen then cut to the present and the episode began.

The lights turned on in the bedrooms and everyone started greeting each other with a good morning. Y/N and Harry's light turned on soon after, but you couldn't see them because they were buried underneath the covers.

"Morning everyone!" Antigoni shone bright as usual. A chorus of mornings replied.

"Do we think anything happened in the hideaway last night?" Ekin-Su asked, sitting up in bed.

"I think so, yes." Antigoni nodded.

"Yeah I think so too." Gemma added, smirking.

"I think Harry would want to take it slow though, y'know?" Luca added, spooning close to Gemma.

"Yeah maybe they didn't do everything." Dami chimed in.

Gwen and Aria sipped their hot chocolates, knowing full well that something happened last night because the cameras were cut off all too soon and they'd spent a lot of time deep under the duvets.

The screen then cut to the couple everyone adored.

Y/N's head was barely poking out the top of the duvet, whilst Harry had the duvet pushed down to his chest. He was smiling down at Y/N, who could be seen smiling up at him.

"What?" Y/N giggled, pulling the duvet more over their head to hide their morning after shyness.

"Hey, don't hide from me. Want to see you." Harry whined, pulling the duvet back down so more of Y/N could be seen. Y/N looked well rested, especially after how stressful the last few days had been. They both looked at peace, a soft morning glow about them both.

"Better?" Y/N's face now clearly seen by Harry.

"Would be better if y'gave me a morning kiss." Harry negotiated.

"Hey, sounds like you." Aria laughed, nudging Gwen's side. Gwen responded by flicking Aria's ear with her finger.

"I have morning bre–" Y/N couldn't find her sentence before Harry's lips were on hers. Y/N moaned in delight as Harry's lips softly brushed over theirs, feeling those emotions from last night all over again. They were both still sore and spent in places that hadn't been active in a while, but they would never get tired of kissing one another.

Harry made sure Y/N knew he loved kissing them with morning breathe and all, pushing her down into the bed more as he grew hungry for more of them.

"Wait.. Wait." Y/N spoke, pushing Harry away only slightly.

"What? Y'okay? Y'hurting anywhere? Is it your head?" Harry asked with concern, moving his hand to touch the back of Y/Ns head where they had fainted the other day.

"No, no. I'm fine. Just I won't want to stop if we keep going." Y/N explained.

"Also sounds like you." Aria added.

"Will you stop comparing me to Y/N and Harry for five minutes..." Gwen laughed. "We've been together for less than a day."

"And yet you've kissed me more times than a married couple of 50 years have ever kissed."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Gwen rolled her eyes, but not before kissing Aria.

Harry leant down to kiss Y/N once more, kissing their nose too just because he could, before flopping back down on his back. His arm wrapped around Y/N's body and pulled them close, wanting to feel her body on his for just a little bit longer.

He kissed the top of Y/N's head and Y/N kissed over Harry's chest, resting a hand over his heart and tracing over the tattoo's nearby.

"H?"

"Mm?"

"Would you ever get a tattoo for me?" Y/N asked.

"Obviously. In fact i've already planned it." Harry explained.

"I can't with him. He's too much." Aria squealed and Gwen pouted in agreement.

"Oh yeah? And what are you getting?"

"Your name across my forehead, but backwards so every time I look in the mirror I am reminded of you." Harry said so seriously that you would think he was being serious, but Y/N could tell by the affliction in his voice that he was joking.

"I would break up with you if you ever did that, just so you know."

"Wha... Why?" Harry gasped in fake hurt.

"Actually," Y/N sat up to look over his face, pushing back his hair to study his head. "Yeah, to be honest, your forehead is quite big. Could do with filling it out a little."

"Right, you. You just lost cuddle time with Beetroot tonight." Harry tried to be stern, unfolding his arm from around Y/N and turning his back to them, but he couldn't stay mad for long. Not even when he was pretending to be mad.

"No!" Y/N launched themselves over Harry's body, trying to defend themselves and Beetroot.

"I fucking love them so much." Gwen said perfectly.

[its-your-girl-geekerella]

Miraculous London Special

I swear I wasn't going to watch it. It kinda just happened. But since I already did, might as well give my thoughts!

Not gonna lie, the first 10 minutes of the episode are like a poorly-written fanfiction. Ladybug's talk with Kagami, her talk with Adrien, the little montage of her with Nathalie, going home and calling Alya (even though we don't know what the conversation was), all the way to her getting in bed.

And honestly? I have so many notes just in this small section.

I found Gorilla's "bro, I have a keycard" so funny. (I would mention that it was a writer's commentary on how Marinette tends to overcomplicate things, but I'm sure you already thought of that)

OMG if they animate Marinette opening her diary to the first page and writing in it ONE MORE TIME I think I'm gonna flip. She's had it for months now, and we've seen her writing in it. You can't trick us, animators.

Who puts the key to their diary right next to it?

I'm not going to recap the rest of the episode, but here's some more thoughts:

The episode was a little... mundane? Repetitive? It was literally like Chat Blanc + Evolution, and they followed the classic "rule of threes" so I knew when they were gonna win. It was a fun episode, to be sure, but (like most special episodes) I didn't feel any urgency or stakes.

Once again, the writers prove that Chat Noir is unneeded, and Ladybug can literally save the universe without him. (Yes, Bunnix was there too, but the only purpose she served was to open and close portals + make jokes that normally only Chat Noir would make) I don't see why they go through all the trouble of saying over and over again that they're a team and there is no LB without CN, but then override that constantly by "making Marinette look good". JUSTICE FOR CHAT NOIR!

The writers seemed to keep forgetting the rules they previously set in place?? Like, Marinette asked Tikki and Plagg for advice, and apparently they couldn't answer her honestly because "neither of them is the kwami of truth". But what about all the other times Tikki/Plagg gave Marinette/Adrien any sort of wisdom or advice? ALSO when Marinette transformed, I couldn't tell if she was yellow because of the jacket or because she just felt like it. But then she goes, "isn't it a bit flashy?" The holders literally dictate what they want the outfit to look like.

Alix had no reason to panic because Big Alix and Granny Alix already knew what was going on. No matter what they did, they would win. (Maybe that's why I felt no stakes)

So I'm pretty sure it's confirmed that Emelie isn't alive...?

What was Lila's wish????

Marinette's conversation with Nathalie made her sound like a villain. 100%. Justify her actions however you want, but the way she was explaining how she would tell the world only part of the truth was straight-up evil. (also abusing your power and influence is not why Fu gave you the miraculous.)

WHY did they have to ruin my favorite episode like this?? I'll never be able to comfortably watch Origins without thinking of this episode again! There goes the nostalgia~

Anyway that's it byeeee

[tobiasdrake]

Digimon Adventure 01x28 - Pursuit! Hurry to Japan / It's All in the Cards

Previously on Digimon Adventure:

Big Fucking Nerd Vamdemon and the good half of his mercenaries are now off in Japan, closing the door behind them on their way out. The Chosen Children are forced to retreat from his castle and regroup with Gennai.

Gennai: I see. That's too bad. Yamato: "That's too bad" isn't going to cut it! At this rate, the Eighth Child is going to die! Sora: That's not all! If those Digimon run loose, they'll wreak havoc on Japan! Taichi: Is there a way we can reopen the Gate? Gennai: That's possible. Taichi: There is? Sora: How? Gennai: I can't simply explain it. You'll also need some tools to assist you. Taichi: Well, stop wasting time! Gennai: I understand. Come to my house.

Gennai points up, then vanishes from the rainbow beam. His meaning is lost on the kids, forcing him to come back and clarify his too-subtle gesture.

Mimi: He disappeared right when we needed answers? Gennai: (reappears) Look around you!

Off in the distance, he's waving a big-ass spotlight to get their attention.

Gennai: If you follow that light, you'll find my home. Taichi: Got it! Gennai: I'll be waiting. Taichi: Yes! Let's go!

Gennai trying to be stylish but forgetting that he's talking to children, who need a bit more instruction than that.

An interesting note about the way the kids are positioned in this scene. The episode recap ended with a brief snippet of new footage, showing the kids fleeing the castle while attacked by silhouetted Digimon. They also had to fight their way out; We see the outside of the castle and hear Tentomon firing Petit Thunder, followed by an explosion bursting out of the building.

This is why Mimi's doubled over up there; They just made it back here. She's gasping for breath from all the running they had to do. When he's in frame, we can see Yamato is piggybacking Takeru as well.

The dub, as usual, cuts the recap. This scene of them escaping got cut along with it, so the dub starts right here at Gennai with no explanation of why Mimi's exhausted and Yamato's carrying Takeru.

Gennai: Myotismon has shut the Gate. You can't follow him now. Matt: Listen, Pops! You gotta help us get through that Gate! The Eighth Kid is doomed if we don't! Sora: And that isn't all! If that rotten creep goes on a rampage in the real world, lots of innocent people will get hurt! Tai: There just has to be some way we can open the Gate up again! Gennai: Well, of course there is. Tai: No kidding? Sora: How, then? Gennai: Any door can be opened with the right key. Tai: Oh, don't be so mysterious, Gennai! Gennai: Follow me to my house and I will explain everything. Sora: Where's that? Gennai: Look above you! (points up and fades away) Mimi: What kind of directions are those!? Gennai: (returns) Very good ones if you will just listen.

Matt borrowing a bit of Taichi's aggressive disrespect for Gennai.

Gennai outright tells them to look up before pointing and vanishing, which makes them all look even stupider when he needs to come back and clarify.

Note: In both versions, the spotlight is making an audible shimmer sound. But in the dub it's also roaring with the fury of a thousand angry batteries. There's wooshing wind noises and what almost sounds like rockets exploding overhead.

Gennai: Keep looking and you shall see it. Matt: There! A searchlight! Gennai: Sorry, I ran out of maps. Follow the light and you can't miss it. Tai: Excellent! Gennai: Snack time for me! (disappears) Tai: Let's jet!

I was not ready for "Snack time for me!" XD

The kids follow Gennai's signal and find it coming straight out of a giant lake.

Mimi: Wait... WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!?!? Yamato: Is his house underwater? Koushiro: I get it. This is why I couldn't find him during those two months I searched the mountains. Jou: So then how do we get there? Gomamon: (pops into the water) I'll go take a look.

Suddenly, the water ripples and bubbles emerge all around.

Gomamon: It's not me! Ehehe....

The light parts the waters of the lake, granting the kids passage down a flight of stairs.

They don't say whether this is the same lake everyone's been crossing on Yamato's swan boat. But I choose to believe it is because it's funnier that way.

In the dub:

Joe: Looks like we're gonna be doing a little swimming. Mimi: MY HAT!!! MY BEAUTIFUL HAT!!! Matt: Either we got those directions really wrong or Gennai's house is in the middle of a lake! Izzy: So that's why I've never found it! Joe: Must be really tough to get pizza delivered. Gomamon: (pops into the water) Hey, c'mon in! The water's fine! (The lake begins to glow and bubbles emerge all around Gomamon) Gomamon: Oh no!

Fart joke's out. Mimi is freaking out about the threat of getting her hat wet instead of the inexplicable oddity of the scene. Izzy expresses the same sentiment as Koushiro, though Koushiro reminds us that he was doing precisely this during the group's split-up time. And Joe drops a pretty solid quip. XD

The waters part and the stairs emerge.

Group: NO WAY!!! Patamon: Do we use these to go down? Yamato: Looks like. Taichi: Alright, let's head down.

The kids descend past a still stunned Gomamon.

Gomamon: Huh? WAIT FOR ME, EVERYONE!!!

They head deeper down perilous stairs whose perils are unsurprising if you really stop and think about it.

Takeru: It's slippery! Patamon: Be careful!

Okay, yeah, these stairs were underwater five seconds ago. Forcing his visitors to descend a freshly-mopped stairwell is a pretty major hazard, honestly. They could break their necks! I'm filing a complaint with OSHA. Uh, as soon as I finish filing the child labor complaint.

Gennai sucks, y'all.

In the dub:

Group: (Miscellaneous cheering) Tai: Steps!? Alright, gang! We're in business!

The dub puts a commercial break here, which I think is a pretty okay place for one. They're able to then use Patamon and Matt's lines to briefly remind us of where we're at upon return.

Patamon: There are stairs going right down into the lake! Matt: They must lead to Gennai's house! Tai: Well? What are we waiting for? Joe: I was kinda hoping he'd send a boat to pick us up. (The kids descend past Gomamon) Gomamon: Hmm... HEY!!! WAIT FOR ME!!! (The kids go deeper) Mimi: If anyone wants any sushi, now's your chance! T.K.: I wish I had my boots! Patamon: Me too!

Another XD for Joe. A boat would be way better than freshly-mopped stairs. I'm with him.

Mimi also gets to make a silence-breaking quip commenting on the art. She's talking about the fish we see swimming around in the foreground while the kids are descending.

I don't think T.K. and Patamon's exchange lands very well. To get what he's complaining about, you need to already understand from context that the stairs are slick and dangerous. But when magical lake-parting is involved, I don't know that this is an assumption anyone would leap to. I certainly didn't until Takeru spelled it out for me.

Finally, the kids see Gennai's estate.

Patamon: Look at that! Sora: Is that it? Jou: I think so.

They invite themselves in.

Everyone But Taichi: PLEASE EXCUSE US!!! Taichi: WE'RE COMING IN!!! (The kids come inside) Piyomon: THIS PLACE IS KIND OF COOL!!! Sora: It really is....

In the dub, the kids continue riffing on the art.

Patamon: Whoa! Sora: Quite a place if you don't mind living in pink fog. Joe: No lawn to mow. Tai: I don't see a doorbell. Everyone: (shouts unintelligibly) (The kids enter the yard) Gennai: WHO NEEDS A DOORBELL WITH SUCH NOISY VISITORS!?!?

I like Joe's quip here in theory; He's talking about the area outside the estate, which is the lake. But it's a little janky that we cut from that to everyone standing on Gennai's lawn.

At long last, the kids see Gennai in person waiting for them.

Koushiro: Gennai...-san? Gennai: I see you children made it here safely. Taichi: (uncertain) Is that really him? Koushiro: Yes.

Taichi first takes a moment to confirm with Koushiro that this is really, truly the man in the flesh. Then, once he's secure in that knowledge, he lets his anger out.

Taichi: HEY, GEEZER!!! I'VE GOT A QUESTION FOR YOU!!! Gennai: What's that? Taichi: Why haven't you ever come to meet us in person all this time!? Gennai: Because I'm a couch potato.

The word Gennai uses here is debushou, which means a shut-in who's too lazy to get up and go outside. The subs here translate it as "I like staying at home" which is accurate but doesn't quite get across the self-deprecation at play. I've also seen debushou translated as "a houseplant" which is hilarious but requires some explanation.

Honestly, Taichi is right to be upset about this. Back on File Island, it was a plot point that Gennai was supposed to be there to meet them Day 1 but Devimon blocked his signal. They spent two weeks alone in savage wilderness being hunted for sport by monsters they couldn't understand because Gennai was too lazy to come explain the isekai in person.

I'd be furious too.

Everyone else has questions too.

Jou: Just who are you, anyway? Takeru: A human? Or a Digimon? Gennai: Neither of those. Mimi: What does being a Chosen Child even mean? Gennai: It means that you're children who were chosen to save both of our worlds. Yamato: But who chose us? Sora: Was it you, Gennai-san? Gennai: (shakes head) Mm... Enough questions. What you should be thinking about right now is saving the Eighth Child. Now, come inside.

Once the conversation turns to the specifics of who drafted these kids for war and why, Gennai gets evasive yet again.

There's long been a friction between Gennai and the Chosen Children, especially Taichi. He omits information he doesn't want them to have and routinely talks around answering questions, managing the kids on a need-to-know basis. This in-person meeting is doing nothing to quell it.

This friction is also there in the dub.

Izzy: Wow, it's the real Gennai! Gennai: Who did you expect, Santa Clause? Tai: (uncertain) We've just never seen the real you. Izzy: Yeah! Tai: (angry) So tell us! How come you're always hiding!? Gennai: I'm not. Tai: Well, you could have come in person but you always choose projections, right? Gennai: It's just a show to impress you. Joe: What kind of a person are you, anyway? T.K.: A human? Or some kind of Digimon? Gennai: That is not important. Mimi: (directly into Gennai's ear) HOW COME YOU CALL US THE DIGIDESTINED!?!? Gennai: EASY!!! I'm old, but I'm not deaf! You were chosen to save this world and you're own! Matt: But just how were we chosen? Why us? Sora: Yeah, we only signed up for summer camp. Gennai: (shakes head) That is all you need to know for now. Come inside. The most important thing is to return to your world and find the Eighth Child. That and maybe have a nice bowl of soup and a tuna sandwich.

It's a little different, but the main difference is in tone of voice. The kids are softer and less combative with Gennai in the English version. The Japanese versions, especially Taichi, sound exasperated by the lack of clear information they've been given.

The children follow Gennai inside.

As they enter the house, the parting of the lake waters ends and the house's exterior floods. The kids watch fish swim by the doors outside.

Takeru & Patamon: PRETTY!!! Jou: Porgies and flounder? But this is a freshwater lake. Gennai: Those are machines I made. It gets lonely, living by yourself.

Gennai pulls down a world map of the human world. He zooms the map with a flick of his fan.

Gennai: Take a look at this. (flick) Koushiro: Japan. Gennai: (flick) Mimi: Is that Tokyo? Gennai: (flick; A red circle appears on the zoomed in point) Taichi: That's the Nerima district! Gennai: Mm. This is where Vamdemon currently is.

Taichi and Yamato both suddenly gasp and jump, startled by recognition.

Taichi: (looking at Yamato) What's wrong? Yamato: No, it's nothing serious. You? Taichi: Same here. I was just noticing that he's in Hikarigaoka.... All of the Kids: Hikarigaoka!?

Hikarigaoka is kind of a big deal, which is why Taichi's so startled by it. He doesn't remember the events of the OVA well, so he can't put it into words. But Hikarigaoka is the place where Hikari's Agumon evolved into Greymon and fought a deadly battle against an invading Parrotmon; A battle that killed them both.

The other kids recognize it because they were there too. The OVA showed brief snippets of Jou, Mimi, Yamato, Takeru, Sora, and Koushiro watching the fight between Greymon and Parrotmon unfold. Yamato and Takeru were still living together at the time.

They don't know it yet but they're all connected by this dream-like monster brawl that took place one day in Hikarigaoka.

This is another point from the OVA that the dub's going to have to talk around.

Mimi: Look at the fish! Joe: But those are halibut. They're saltwater fish. Gennai: You are right. So I have to feed them popcorn, salted pretzels, and tons of salted nuts. Joe: ...do you think he's pulling our legs? Tai: I have no idea!

Not a huge change but the mystery of Gennai's regionally-inappropriate fish goes unanswered for the sake of a joke where he just lists things that have salt on them. Which, granted, does add to the crypticness of this obnoxiously vague man, so the new bit still works pretty well.

Gennai: (brings down the map) Now a look at the weather. (flick) State. (flick) County. (flick) City. Does anyone recognize this area? Tai: Our hometown? Gennai: Mmhmm. And the red flashing circle indicates Myotismon's location. Tai & Matt: (gasp and jump) Tai: Myotismon! Matt: Wow, he's only a mile from where we all live. Gennai: I'm afraid so. Tai: I'll bet you that he goes downtown.... This is not good!

What's downtown, Tai? Why is downtown so ominous? Hey, Tai. Hey, Tai, what's downtown? What do you think he's going to do downtown?

After all of the Japan namedropping of the previous episode, we are right back to geographically playing coy about the kids' point of origin, and also kind of implying that it's the U.S. with that "state, country, city" bit.

And also the dub team doesn't know about Hikarigaoka so they have no idea why all the kids are freaking out right now, and it shows. Thus we have the mysterious and ominous downtown.

Matt, incidentally, is bad at reading Gennai Maps. Hikarigaoka is about 18 miles away from "where we all live", which is Odaiba.

A brief cut to Hikarigaoka shows us Vamdemon and his forces lurking on a rooftop while electronics around the area go haywire. Phones are ringing off the hook. Technicians are at work on the issue but can't seem to find any cause.

In the dub, the city's quiet. There's no sign of any sort of technological malfunctions. But the technicians complain that something's causing "interference".

Then we return to Gennai for further instruction.

Taichi: Come on! Tell us how to open the Gate! Gennai: Let's not be hasty. You'll need to use these.

Rifling through his cabinets, Gennai finds a set of cards and lays them out in front of the Chosen Children. There are ten cards in all.

Kuwagamon

Agumon

Gazimon

Andromon

Elecmon

Unimon

Digitamamon

Drimogemon

TonosamaGekomon

Gomamon

Gomamon: Ha! There's one of me! Koromon: And Agumon! Mimi: What are these? Gennai: Cards. Taichi: We know that! Gennai: Do you remember seeing nine holes in the slate in front of the Gate? Koushiro: Um... Yes! There was. Gennai: You must place these cards into those holes. Koushiro: But you gave us one card too many. Gennai: There's an extra card mixed in. I'm not sure which. Taichi: Which hole do we put each card in? Gennai: Well... I don't know.

Unhelpful as always, Gennai! Thanks!

Sharp-eyed viewers may already be able to tell how these cards should be arranged on a 3x3 grid, and which two cards are redundant to each other.

In the dub:

Tai: Please tell us how to open the Gate back to our world! Gennai: You certainly are impatient. Keep your goggles on, my young friend! (Gennai lays out the cards) Gennai: You'll need these. Matt: Check 'em out! Tai: Whoa, Digimon keycards! Tentomon: It's the spitting image! Joe Alright! Look at Gomamon! Gomamon: I'm cuter in person. Koromon: There I am too! Mimi: But what are they for? Tai: Yeah, and how do they help us open the Gate? Gennai: Well, there are nine holes on the stone wall of the Gate. Izzy: Yeah, so... Oh, wait! Do the cards go into the holes? Gennai: That's right. However, take a closer look. It's not quite as simple as that. Do you see the problem? Izzy: You're giving us one too many cards. Gennai: That's right! One of them is a fake.

For once, the dub kids are slower on the uptake than their Japanese counterparts. Gennai has to explain the numerical flaw to them before they notice it's there.

Then Tai has the worst idea, provoking a response that both Gennai and the audience have wanted to do to him many times.

Taichi: Oh well. We'll just put the cards in a random order and go with that!

As he feels the biceps of furious adulthood wrap around his neck, Taichi suddenly regrets finally meeting the old geezer/Jiji in person. This man is responsible for mobilizing child soldiers. He does not give a fuck about the ethics of punitive child abuse.

Gennai: YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!! Taichi: Hck hck sputter Gennai: If you do that, you'll be cast into some random and unpredictable world! Mimi: Do that many worlds really exist? Gennai: Yes. There's also a risk that you may not be fully reconstituted on the other side. Mimi: What do you mean?

Gennai demonstrates with the example of Mimi and Palmon entering the Gate, only to come in with their data merged into amalgams of each other on the other side.

Mimi: NOT THAT!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

We briefly see Palmon looking up at Mimi with a hurt expression. She seems a little bit offended that Mimi took this so harshly.

Mimi continues melting down and shrieking No's in the background while the others carry on with the meeting.

Gennai: That is why, unlike Vamdemon who used an incantation for this, you will need to solve this with your own abilities. Jou: But there are so many things we don't know. Gennai: Anyway, here are the cards. Relax and enjoy yourselves tonight. The enemy won't attack you here.

Gennai can smell questions coming and changes the subject before they even have a chance to ask.

In the dub, Gennai is so mad at Tai's poor decision-making that he rips two of Mimi's lines out of the script, talking straight through her lip flaps.

Tai: We'll try 'em all until we get the right combination! (Violent, cathartic throttling ensues) Gennai: No, you will not, you silly boy! That's absolutely the last thing you should do! There are many, many other worlds! If you put the cards in the wrong holes, it will be a disaster! You could end up in a different world with no way to return! (ahem) Let me explain. (Mimi and Palmon demonstration) Gennai: The wrong cards might take you to a world where, for example, people and Digimon switch skin! Mimi: NOOOOOO NOT THAT!!! I LIKE MY SKIN!!! (loudly cries through the rest of the scene) Gennai: Don't worry! Don't worry! You're not going to switch your skin with anyone as long as you learn how to use the cards correctly. Joe: But we don't have any idea what to do! Gennai: You must learn to use your power the way Myotismon is using his. Tomorrow, I'll teach you the proper use of the cards.

So, obviously I'm miffed about Mimi having two of her lines cut. For entirely reasonable and objective reasons, I assure you. I will have Gennai's kneecaps.

More seriously, "Use your power the way Myotismon is using his" is an odd way to translate "Myotismon did it with an incantation but you need to use your own abilities instead." I can kinda see how it connects. "Myotismon achieved it by using his power that was unique to him, and now you have to use your power that's unique to you to achieve the same." But it's janky and comes off sounding like he's saying we need to do things the way Myotismon does them.

The more pressing contradiction is that Gennai promises to explain how the cards work in detail to them, which is exactly the opposite of what he's telling them in the original scene. He does not have the answer to the card riddle.

This comes at the cost of telling them they can actually have a nice, relaxing, perfectly safe night. Which, at this point in their adventure, is just such a nice thing to be offered that I'm sad it got cut.

The kids go to bed for the night.

Jou sleeps between Taichi and Sora because I guess he's still upset over that "I want some of Sora's love!" thing. Mimi gets her own private little corner to herself like the princess she is, following that rude, triggering experience Gennai inflicted on her. Yamato and Takeru have pulled their futons close together then thought better of it and decided to sleep in the same futon anyway. And Koushiro is absent.

Koushiro is with Gennai, trying to learn more about the lore of Digimon.

Koushiro: This world is similar to ours, but there's still a lot that's strange about it. Why is that? Gennai: Do you know what this world is comprised of? It's something equivalent to the atoms and molecules of your world. Koushiro: Data, right? Gennai: Correct. Everything in this world is comprised of the data running through computer networks in your world. When you encounter something strange here, it's because of faulty or missing data. Koushiro: I see. On that note, Gennai-san, are you also made of data? Gennai: Nrgh.

Not a word. Gennai didn't have a good evasive response to that one and just grunted reflexively. Koushiro takes that as confirmation.

Koushiro: But you do have a real body somewhere, don't you? Just like we do? Gennai: Nope. Koushiro: Are you something different from a Digimon? Gennai: Yes. It's because I don't have an attribute. Koushiro: An attribute? Gennai: Although this world is created by data, Digimon are further classified by the attributes Data, Virus, and Vaccine. Koushiro: I see.... Gennai: On that note, has the Digimon Analyzer been helpful for you? Koushiro: Yes! But there's something that's been bothering me. Gennai: What's that? Koushiro: This only contains data on the Digimon that I've met. I can't access data on Digimon that the others have seen. Gennai: I understand. Koushiro: Can you do something to fix it? Gennai: Yes. Let me borrow that for a while. Koushiro: Okay. Gennai: I'll have it fixed by morning. You should get some sleep. Koushiro: Okay.

In the dub, Gennai starts off by saying that the Digital World - which I guess we're no longer calling Digi-World - is made of molecules and atoms too.

Izzy: The Digital World is like our world but different. Why is that? Gennai: The same material is used in all worlds! Izzy: Molecules and atoms? Gennai: Exactly! Everything here in the Digital World - plants, trees, buildings, even the Digimon themselves - came from computer data in your world. So if there are strange things here, they are the result of broken or missing data. izzy: What about you, Gennai? Are you just made up of computer data too? Gennai: Of course! So, in each of the worlds, I would appear somewhat different. Izzy: But Gennai, if you're not human, how are you different from Digimon? Gennai: I have no attributes. Izzy: Attributes!? Just what does that mean!? You mean the different attacks Digimon have? Gennai: Yes! And the way a Digimon Digivolves. But attributes determine much more than that. They explain why some Digimon are good and some are evil. All Digimon can be classified as Data, Virus, or Vaccine. Izzy: We're definitely familiar with the Virus kind. Gennai: By the way, have you used that Digimon Analyzer I gave you? Izzy: Yes. But there is something I wanted to ask you about it. Gennai: What's that? Izzy: I'm only able to access information on Digimon that I have seen. Not on the ones that the other kids have seen. Gennai: Hmm... You're right, that is a problem. Izzy: Is it one that you can solve? Gennai: You just leave it to me, my young friend. I should have it all taken care of by morning. But, for now, you had better get some rest. Izzy: 'Kay.

This infodump is more or less the same. Though Gennai claims that being made of data would cause him to take different forms if he went to other worlds. Which doesn't really track or segue well out of the conversation they were having. The Digimon don't seem to have a problem with visiting other worlds without changing shape.

It also replaces the interesting clarifying question of whether he's "made of data" like the Digimon or "made of data" like the kids' digital bodies.

The next day, the kids have a satisfying breakfast. Gennai enters with Koushiro's laptop in hand to show off how he's upgraded it.

Gennai: Are you ready? Kids: YES!!! Gennai: I've added an adaptor to Koushiro's laptop. If you insert a Digivice in here, the information of Digimon that its owner has met will be added to the Analyzer. I've also installed several new programs. Take a look at the manual when you get the chance. Koushiro: Thank you! Gennai: It may be tough for you, Chosen Children, but have faith in your abilities. Jou: (faceplants into the table) The abilities of the Chosen Children, huh? Sora: Hey! Have more faith! Gennai: I'm sorry I cannot be of any further use. Now go, children! I wish you luck. Kids: YES!!!

The dub starts this scene with a silence-breaking quip.

Sora: Wow, Joe. Why not just eat the bones too? Joe: Hey! I was hungry! Gennai: (enters) Good morning, all. Kids: HI!!!

Can I just say that having the kids yell "HI!!!" instead of "HAI!!!" is hilarious for meta reasons?

Gennai: Izzy, I've completed the modifications for your computer. When you insert someone's Digivice into this adaptor, the Analyzer will show information on any Digimon that person has seen. I also installed a new screensaver. You know the one with the colored fishes swimming around? I really like that one. Izzy: Great minds do think alike! Gennai: Now, I have a request for all of you. I don't want you to forget that you are the DigiDestined. Joe: I'll never forget this stomachache. Urrrrgh.... Sora: Joe, this is serious! Gennai: I have done all I can do. I can no longer help you once you return to Myotismon's castle. Good luck!

Fuck do you mean, you've done all you can do? Gennai, weren't you going to show us how to use the cards? What happened to that?

"Hey DigiDestined, don't forget that you're the DigiDestined," is an absolutely terrible way of presenting "Have faith in your abilities as Chosen Children."

The kids return to Vamdemon's castle, now guarded by the two Devidramon that Tailmon left behind. There's kind of an awkward commercial break here in the original. We leave Gennai and see them creep up on the castle for like two seconds, then cut to commercial, then come back on the Devidramon guarding the place. So it disrupts the flow.

Not sure why they didn't just put the commercial break after Gennai wished them luck, then come back to Vamdemon's castle.

Peering through a slightly opened door, they try and figure out how they're going to get in there.

Yamato: What should we do? Taichi: This is bad. Tentomon: (loudly) WANT ME TO DEAL WITH THIS!?!? (Taichi and Koushiro exchange looks, then nod together) Tentomon: HERE I GO!!!

Tentomon is chomping at the bit to go loud and fuck these guys up. The second Taichi and Koushiro give him the okay, he Super-Evolves all the way up to AtlurKabuterimon and bursts in guns blazing.

"HEY GUYS SPECIAL DELIVERY WHO ORDERED THE PAAAAAIN"

Koushiro: Hurry! While they're distracted!

Koushiro shouts as they sprint down the corridor away from the carnage. Which is certainly one way to describe AtlurKabuterimon wasting one Devidramon so fast we don't even see it, then slamming his axe horn straight into the other's neck and firing Horn Buster point-blank.

I would say they are "distracted", to be sure. AtlurKabuterimon is not cackling maniacally while he does this, but I'm gonna imagine he is.

The dub moves the commercial break to where I suggested, splitting up Gennai's "Good luck!" from the kids approaching the castle. It then gives Joe a silence-breaker on their way in.

Joe: Man, this place looks even scarier than it did the first time.

There's a little jankiness to moving it like this, though. The last shot before commercial is Taichi looking up and the first shot coming back is a snarling Devidramon. These shots are not connected to each other; They're separated by commercials. But cutting them together like this makes it look like the Devidramon is looming over Tai.

It was animated with the commercial break being at that spot in mind. So in the end, both versions feel a little off.

As the kids approach the door, Tai and Matt are given no lines, and Izzy speaks in regular speaking voice rather than a hushed whisper.

Izzy: How do we get past the Devidramon? Tentomon: Leave that to me! I'll take 'em out while you go in. (Tai and Izzy exchange looks, then nod together) Tentomon: ...

Tentomon is sadly not roaring "PIXEL DUST FOR THE PIXEL THRONE" in this version. He's still gung-ho about fighting the Devidramon but is not in a hysterical blood frenzy.

AtlurKabuterimon erases the Devidramon so hard that it breaks the coding on the castle.

In a flash of light, all the wonky physics of the place vanish, and the kids are dropped unceremoniously on a flight of stairs.

(They did speculate earlier that Vamdemon's power was sustaining the wonky physics. It's probably no coincidence that the effect ended after a) Vamdemon fucked off to another reality and b) the last of his gargoyle Devidramon guards was destroyed.

But on the other hand, Horn Buster broke Vademon's pocket dimension too. Horn Buster may just be really good at wrecking the custom programming that others have put into their surroundings. AtlurKabuterimon taking an axe not just to your face but your hours and hours of SQL coding.)

Mochimon flops down the stairwell, all of his power spent on gleeful mayhem. Koushiro catches him in his arms.

Koushiro: Mochimon! (catch) Mochimon: (weakly) How did I do? Koushiro: I think you fixed the distortions in the airspace here! Taichi: C'mon! Let's move!

No change in the dub.

Once they've arrived at the Gate, Taichi lays out the cards and tries to figure out the 3x3 patterns.

Taichi tries to classify them as

Good Guys: Gomamon, Unimon, Agumon, Andromon

Bad Guys: Gazimon, Drimogemon, Digitamamon

Disgusting Guys: TanosamaGekomon, Kuwagamon

Despite the fact that this setup puts four cards in one category and two in another, he snubs Elecmon, presumably picking that as the fake card.

Also, this is Drimogemon slander. He forgives Unimon and Andromon for the things they did under Black Gear influence but still calls Drimogemon a villain.

And another thing! I get that we have Kuwagamon trauma but what did he do to get classified as disgusting while the child-labor capitalist is merely bad?

I have a lot of issues with Taichi's breakdown.

Dub Tai describes them as "Good one, bad one, funky one".

Jou takes the next crack at them.

Small: Gomamon, Agumon, Elecmon, Gazimon

Medium: Digitamamon, Unimon, Andromon

Large: Drimogemon, TanosamaGekomon, Kuwagamon

Jou makes no assumptions about which card is the fake.

Joe, however, classifies them as "In-Training, Rookie, and Champion", the dub's terms for the Baby, Child, and Adult stages.

He actually has the right idea, as the stages are one of the two axes on the grid. However, the labels he gives are wildly incorrect for the cards shown. Holy shit, Joe. Gomamon should fucking slap him for calling him an In-Training Digimon.

From there, the others start giving it a shot, but we don't get to see how they separate the cards out.

Yamato: Let me try. How's this? Weak, so-so, and strong. But we still don't know which card is the wrong one. Sora: I bet it's where they live! Like land or sea! Mimi: Maybe it's the number of syllables in their name. Like A-gu-mo-n, that's four.

Everyone in this group has reasonable ideas except Taichi and Sora. The former of whom is letting some weird-ass biases show. And the latter. Like. Sora? Hey. Hey, Sora. Name one of these Digimon who is aquatic. Name one.

This is not going to be solved by the soccer club.

...actually, Koushiro is a member of the soccer club so, ironically, it is. Huh.

In the dub, Matt steals Jou's idea but as a sarcastic suggestion born of frustration.

Matt: Or could it just be small one, medium one, big one... How can we be sure!? And we still don't have a clue which card is the fake one! Sora: Maybe it's where they live. Water or land? Mimi: Maybe the key is in their names! Like, Agumon starts with 'A', that's letter #1, then... oh, no, it really doesn't make any sense.

Sora's idea gets translated straight. Mimi keeps the idea of names and lettering but in a way that's more familiar to an American audience than counting syllables/katakana lettering.

Skipping Takeru because I guess he had zero ideas and is just deferring to the older kids, now it's Koushiro's turn to get his thinky-think on. Koushiro approaches the pedestal that the cards need to fit into, while thinking aloud.

Of note: Koushiro begins talking while Mimi's making her suggestion and trying to arrange the cards in the original, speaking over her. Yet more fucking rudeness from Koushiro to my kid that's gonna get him tossed off a cliff.

Mochimon: What's wrong? Koushiro: Vamdemon broke the seal with magic. Therefore, the pictures on the slate must also relate to magic. Mimi: (finishes sorting) AUGH!!! It still doesn't fit! Koushiro: I've seen these marks from occult pages on the Internet. The lion and archer are from the twelve Zodiac constellations. But the monkey isn't part of it. Also, these stars.... Mochimon: Do you know what they mean? Koushiro: No. But there must be some significance to them.

The dub, on the other hand, lets Mimi finish speaking before she prompts Izzy to share his thoughts.

Mimi: Izzy, what are you looking at? Izzy: Myotismon used a spell to open the Gate and I think this picture must have something to do with it. Some of these characters, I know. Sagittarius and Leo are signs of the Zodiac, but there's nothing about a monkey in any horoscope. And what's the significance of this star pattern?

We lose Koushiro crediting his familiarity with the zodiac to "occult pages on the internet", but replaces it by offhandedly mentioning horoscopes. No loss in the English version; We were all about astrology in the late 90's and early 00's United States.

Zodiac-based divination was so mainstream in American culture back in the day that I actually had a momentary kneejerk reaction over Koushiro calling it "occult". Like. Fuck do you mean occult!? They're just constellations that people use on a daily basis to oracularly divine the future for millions of stranger-- oh.

So, culturally, this is a good change. It's super easy for Izzy to just start namedropping Leo and Sagittarius. Those things are right there in the morning newspaper your dad reads every day. Kids will get it. And if they don't, it's easy for them to find out.

Suddenly, the building shakes. Outside, large chunks of the castle are beginning to move and reconfigure.

Takeru: W-What's that sound? Yamato: I don't know. Mimi: It feels like something awful.... Patamon: I'll go take a look!

Patamon flies up the stairs to scout what's happening. While that's happening, Taichi tries another configuration.

Taichi: How about this? Sora: Well.... Jou: It's useless. Mimi: It is not! Don't say that! Jou: Even if we come up with something that might work, there's no guarantee it's correct. Yamato: That's true, but--

Before he can finish, the castle shakes again. The structures have begun to fall in on each other.

This is meant to be a quiet build-up to tension. The background music is absent, as Taichi and the others are still trying to figure out the cards. We don't know that we're in danger yet, but something certainly seems to be happening that warrants investigation.

The dub plays their Peril Music track and dials the alarm up to 11 from the moment the kids notice the first quakes.

T.K.: Matt, what's that sound!?!? Matt: I don't know! Mimi: Well, maybe someone should go take a-- Patamon: I'll go find out! (flies off) Tai: Come on, guys! We have to figure out the cards! Sora: Yeah! Let's go! Joe: What's the point!? We'll never unlock the Gate. Sora: Don't even say that, Joe! Joe: Even if we put the cards in the holes so they look right, we have no way of knowing until it's too late! Matt: We have to try, Joe!

Nonetheless, the crux of this scene - Jou despairing over the unsolvable card puzzle - comes through intact.

Patamon: (soaring back down the stairs) WE HAVE TROUBLE!!! THE CASTLE IS CRUMBLING!!! Taichi: WHAT!?!? Mochimon: AUGH!!! This might be my fault! I broke the ceiling earlier! Patamon: All of the passages are blocked! Yamato: So now we can't turn back! Sora: That's not all! This place will start collapsing soon too!

With their backs against the wall, Jou-senpai makes a pronouncement, harkening back to what Gennai said to them before they left.

Jou: Taichi. Taichi: What? Jou: I'm going to let you handle this. Taichi: What's this all of a sudden? Jou: I'm not saying I don't want the responsibility. This is because I have faith in you! Taichi: Eh!? Yamato: Me too! At times like this, we should follow our leader. Taichi: Hey, now! Since when am I the leader!? Yamato: When you disappeared, we all fell apart. You were the one who brought us back together again! Taichi: That was a coincide-- Mimi: WHO CARES!?!? Sora: Mimi-chan? Mimi: DO SOMETHING TO TAKE ME HOME!!!

Then Mimi suddenly sticks out her tongue to reveal she was playing around.

Mimi: I've been whining like that this whole time, but that's not how it works. I won't speak selfishly anymore. Sora: That's right! If we don't change ourselves, nothing else will! Yamato: That is why I'm putting my faith in our nakama. Taichi: Everyone.... Yamato: You agree, don't you, Takeru? Takeru: Yeah! Even if we do end up in a different world, we'll all be together. That's why I'm not scared! Yamato: That's right! Sora: What about you, Koushiro-kun? Koushiro: (uncomfortable) Y-Yes. I always had faith in Taichi-san even before all this. Group: DO IT, TAICHI!!! (beat) Taichi: (with resolve) I will.

As of this moment, Taichi is officially team leader. The group has decided that he proved himself over the course of the PicoDevimon to be the glue that holds this nakama together.

We're a long way from that shit he pulled at Nanomon's pyramid. Chronologically. It's been months so nobody's thinking about that anymore, except Tai because that was like yesterday.

The dub starts this section off by removing the point Mochimon made about this being his fault.

Tai: Something tells me we don't have much time! Patamon: Hey, everyone! The walls and ceilings in the castle are caving in! The passages are all blocked! Matt: That means we can't go back the way we came in! We're trapped! Izzy: Now we have to open the Gate. One of us has to choose nine cards and put them in the holes, and that will be that. Joe: You, Tai. Tai: Me? Joe: Yeah, it's your call. Tai: Mine!? Why is it up to me!? Joe: I'm not trying to put you on the spot or anything like that. I just think we all really believe in you, Tai. Tai: Me?

This endorsement doesn't really hit as hard when Joe isn't at least on paper our responsible senpai who's supposed to look out for us. The Team Weenie wants Tai to do it; Big surprise there. Fortunately, we still have the others.

Matt: Joe's right! In times like these, decisions need to be made by the one in charge! Tai: Hold on, have you guys all gone crazy!? Who made me leader!? Matt: Do you remember when you were gone, Tai? We fell apart without you around! And after all that, weren't you the one who managed to bring us all back together again? Tai: Uh, yeah, I guess-- Mimi: JUST DO IT, TAI!!! Sora: Mimi? Mimi: I JUST WANT TO GET BACK TO MY HOME, THAT'S ALL!!! (Mimi suddenly gives a :P) Mimi: Oh, I'm sorry. I was being selfish again. I have to remember that we're a team. Come on, Tai! Save the day! Sora: Yeah, we have to believe in our friends! Remember what Gennai said? Matt: Yeah! He said to believe in our power! You believe, don't you, Tai? Tai: Maybe....

He did not. What Gennai said was "Don't forget that you are the DigiDestined. I cannot help you at the castle. Good luck!" You could infer that sentiment, but he certainly didn't say those words. The English kids are referencing things only said in the Japanese script again.

Mimi's moment of self-deprecation spinning into self-actualization is replaced with Mimi sincerely whining but then catching herself. Which isn't necessarily a bad change but it does mean her sudden :P partway through doesn't make much sense.

From there, instead of asking T.K. and Izzy's opinions, the kids just start calling back to other episodes. I guess we don't care what those two think.

Joe: Come on, we've gone through a lot of weird stuff already! If we hadn't stuck together, we never would have beaten Seadramon! Matt: Or smashed Tyrannomon! Mimi: Or escaped from Toy Town! Joe: And I'd still be making french fries in Vegiemon's diner if you hadn't saved me. You can do it, Tai! Group: YOU CAN DO IT, TAI!!! (beat) Tai: (with resolve) ALRIGHT.

Those feel like weird examples to me. Yamato and Gabumon fought off Seadramon by themselves. Taichi and Agumon defeated Tyrannomon by themselves while everyone else was afflicted with Love Serenade. Mimi and Palmon defeated Monzaemon and saved the team from Toy Town with help, but it was from an army of Numemon, not the other kids.

None of those victories was achieved through teamwork and relying on one another. Though the Vegiemon one, at least, is valid. That is a solid example of overcoming a problem by working together and having each other's backs.

ShogunGekomon would have been another good example to draw on, as Togemon, Ikkakumon, and Greymon/MetalGreymon all worked together to protect Mimi from him and ultimately vanquish him.

Also, general rallying about teamwork isn't what we're talking about here anyway; We're trying to puff up Tai into believing he deserves a position of authority over the rest of the group. He only gets credit for two of those four examples.

This is off-topic, and it replaces sincere moments of Takeru and Koushiro expressing their faith in Taichi, in the nakama, and in their ability to persevere through whatever comes their way.

(Especially Koushiro, who has always believed in Taichi and you can see that throughout the series. Koushiro looks up to Taichi like an older brother.)

Once Taichi is placed in charge, he immediately passes the buck to the correct person to be doing this actually.

Taichi: Just to confirm this: Will all of you really follow my decision? Group: (synchronized nodding) Mmhmm. Taichi: Great! Then I've decided! Koushiro! I want you to choose! Koushiro: M-Me!? Mimi: If that's what Taichi-san's decided, then I think it's a good idea. Yamato: We're counting on you, Koushiro! Takeru: Koushiro-san! Koushiro: But if I get it wrong-- Jou: No one will hold it against you. Sora: We have faith in you! Taichi: What they said.

Yeah, this is definitely a Koushiro problem. An esoteric and poorly-explained lore puzzle is directly within his wheelhouse.

The dub follows the script until Jou and Sora's lines. The two of them get cut in favor of having Mimi and Tai chime in again.

Izzy: But what happens if I'm wrong? Mimi: No one will blame you. Tai: We all know you're the right one for the job, Izzy. Go for it!

Once the decision is made, Koushiro gets work trying to crack this mystery.

Koushiro: Well, then.... Mochimon: Koushiro-han, maybe your laptop can help. Koushiro: My laptop?

Everyone stands by silently and watches Koushiro take out his laptop and open it up.

Koushiro: If I had access to the internet here, I would be able to ask people who know more about the occult.

He leafs through the Digimon Analyzer, skimming over profiles. Devimon, Leomon, Ogremon, Kentarumon, Whamon--

Koushiro: Ehh!?

He goes back, and we see the sigils superimposed over their entries. It's not Sagittarius and Leo; It's Kentarumon and Leomon.

Koushiro: Then the monkey is....

Koushiro pulls up Etemon's profile, adding it to the list.

Koushiro: This is it! But what does it mean? (flashback) Gennai: Digimon are further classified by the attributes Data, Virus, and Vaccine. Koushiro: Attributes!

Koushiro zooms each profile in on the three's Attributes.

Leomon: Vaccine

Kentarumon: Data

Etemon: Virus

That's one axis.

Koushiro: Who here has met Digitamamon and TonosamaGekomon? Jou: I have. Koushiro: Bring me your Digivice!

Koushiro plugs Jou's Digivice into the laptop and downloads those two profiles.

Over in the dub:

Izzy: I still have no idea how this all fits together. Motimon: Maybe you could use your computer to help figure it out! Izzy: The computer? Right now, I'd rather use it to log onto the internet and book us a flight out of this place. (Izzy skims through the profiles) Izzy: HUH!?!? Wait a minute.... (Izzy goes back through) The horse. The lion. And... THE MONKEY!!! THAT'S IT!!! (flashback) Gennai: Remember, all Digimon can be classified as Data, Virus, or Vaccine. Izzy: Could it be!?

We don't get to see the confirmation of his question for ourselves. The dub cuts the shot of him zooming in on the three Digimon's attributes. Probably because of how skittish they are about showing Japanese letters onscreen.

He then casts his vote on TonosamaGekomon's name. Remember how the Analyzer said ShogunGekomon but all the characters said Shogunmon?

Izzy: Who here has met up with Digitamamon and Gekomon? Joe: I have! Izzy: Give me your Digivice.

THAT WASN'T ONE OF THE OPTIONS, IZZY. THAT IS A DIFFERENT DIGIMON, IZZY.

The Analyzer, incidentally, still clearly reads "SHOGUNGEKOMON" in the big bold English font they used to replace the original Japanese lettering.

All this context is precisely what Koushiro needs to crack this puzzle.

Something absolutely none of the kids picked up on is that the cards themselves hint at the X-axis. Vaccines have a red background, Datas have a green background, and Viruses have a blue background. That would have been a great place to start, but every single one of these kids failed at pattern recognition.

Their school needs to do better at teaching critical thinking.

Taichi: Did you figure it out? Koushiro: Let me explain. (Koushiro draws his own reproduction of the pedestal in the sand) Koushiro: Listen closely. Take a look at this. Lion, Archer, Monkey. These respectively represent Leomon, Kentarumon, and Etemon. Each has a different Attribute. Specifically Vaccine, Data, and Virus. What I'd like to point out next are the number of stars. From top to bottom, they mean Child, Adult, and Perfect-stage. If you put the cards in the appropriate places.... Jou: It's a perfect fit! Sora: That's amazing, Koushiro-kun! (zoom in on Gomamon and Agumon) Koushiro: But there are two here. Either of them could be the wrong one, but I can't tell. I'm sorry. I couldn't live up to your expectations. Jou: What are you talking about? You did great!

The kids all give Koushiro a round of applause.

Koushiro: (smiling) Everyone.... Sora: You should decide the rest, Taichi. Taichi: Will do. You were a big help, Koushiro. Thank you.

The dub follows the same script until Izzy makes the same mistake Joe did.

Izzy: The stars starting from the top represent In-Training, Rookie, and Champion! So now we can put all the cards in the right squares. Sora: You did it, Izzy! Good work! Tai: We knew you'd figure it out! (zoom in on Gomamon and Agumon) Izzy: But wait a minute. Not so fast. There are two cards here. One of them is the fake but I don't know which one. So that's it. I'm sorry, we still can't be certain where the Gate will open to. Joe: But we made it this far! That's great! (round of applause) Izzy: Yes, it is! Sora: Tai can pick which one's fake. Tai: if I can't, everyone gets an ice cream and I'm buying!

Like. The dub team just forgot what they're calling the stages. Come on, guys.

It's a good thing Koushiro was able to get us this far because we are out of time. As the castle continues to shake and fall apart, spiders suddenly descends from the ceiling.

Jou: Who is that!? Koushiro: (laptop) I'll have their data pulled up in a minute.

That is Dokugumon. An Adult-stage Virus-type Insect Digimon. The name comes from dokugumo, which means a poisonous spider.

This Digimon does not exist in the V-Pet. Yet. It's an early preview of an up-and-coming new addition. This episode aired on September 19th, 1999. Dokugumon is a Nightmare Soldier added in the .5 edition released the following month, replacing Bakemon in the lineup.

The Chosen Children are being attacked by a product ad.

Narrator: Dokugumon. A cursed Digimon whose entire body is covered in a computer virus. Their special attack, Stinger Poration, is released from their sharp fangs. Dokugumon: Anyone who damages Vamdemon-sama's castle will pay with their lives!

Well, there's a fucking word. "Poration". The formation of pores. Dokugumon will make new pores in your skin. Using their stinger. Fun for the whole family!

Appropriately, the dub has Izzy do the diegetic rundown.

Tai: What is that!? Izzy: I'll tell you in just a minute! Izzy: (rundown) It's Dokugumon! An evil Digimon with computer virus parasites covering his body! Dokugumon: INTRUDERS IN THE CASTLE MUST BE DESTROYED!!! GO GET THEM!!!

Again, the dub cuts the reference to the fact that AtlurKabuterimon's enthusiasm destroyed Vamdemon's castle and caused the calamity we are currently in. In the dub, Dokugumon's just acting as a security guard.

Dokugumon does not lead with Stinger Poration, instead sending a swarm of weird-ass baby spiders whose existence is super questionable within the Digimon life cycle. But eventually they would be acknowledged as KoDokugumon.

Garurumon, Togemon, and Ikkakumon all evolves and unload on the KoDokugumon swarm. A few get through and attack Sora, provoking Pyokomon to regain her Piyomon form and counter with Magical Fire.

In the dub, Garurumon forgets his attack name (Howling Blaster) and instead calls Blue Blaster, which is Gabumon's.

While the Digimon hold the line, Taichi places the cards on the pedestal and agonizes over the final decision.

Taichi: Which one. Agumon or Gomamon? Mimi: TAICHI-SAN, HURRY!!! Jou: It doesn't matter which!

Hahaha it kind of does matter if you don't want to swap skin with Gomamon, my dude.

The dub cuts Jou's line which is no real loss because it's kind of stupid. XD

Tai: I can't decide! Which one is the fake card? Mimi: HURRY UP!!! CHOOSE!!! Tai: If I choose wrong, we're toast!

While Taichi agonizes over this choice, Dokugumon enters the fray themselves.

Dokugumon: I WON'T LET YOU ESCAPE!!!

Binding the three Adult Digimon with webbing, they yank them up helplessly into the air and hit them with Stinger Poration.

Togemon: I'M GOING NUMB!!! Dokugumon: THE CHILDREN ARE NEXT!!! Yamato: GARURUMON!!! Sora: GANBATTE!!!

There's another conjugation of ganbaru, the important Japanese cultural principle of working hard and persevering through tremendous adversity.

The dub cuts most of this combat shouting. Dokugumon just cackles menacingly. They name the webbing attack "Poison Thread", and then the actual Stinger Poration is called "Poison Cobweb".

Matt: GARURUMON!!! Sora: Digivolve again!

Not quite as punchy as shrieking ganbatte at the top of her lungs.

Garurumon takes Sora's advice and perseveres.

Super-evolving into WereGarurumon, he uses his Kaiser Nail to cut the other two free and wrestles with Dokugumon. The bright red energy released by his Kaiser Nail cuts straight through the walls, knocking huge chunks off the dwindling mountain holding up the castle.

Gomamon and Palmon lose their Adult-stage and revert as they fall.

Patamon?: TAICHI!!! Yamato: You're still deciding!? Sora: PICK ONE!!! Taichi: Alright, I've got it!

Fulfilling the idea Gennai throttled him for, Taichi throws both cards face-down and just turns one over.

Taichi: THIS ONE!!! (turns over Gomamon) Open the Gate, GOMAMON!!!

In his defense, there is no way to discern which card to use. At this point, it is a 50/50 coin flip, and there's no wrong way to flip a coin. What Taichi just did was a clever method of breaking choice paralysis. I've actually employed similar methods many times in my life.

In the dub, only Matt yells at Tai.

Matt: TAI, YOU'VE GOTTA MAKE UP YOUR MIND NOW!!! WE'RE OUT OF TIME!!! Tai: (throws down the cards) Okay! It's this one! (turns over Gomamon) Come on! NOW!!!

The Gate opens wide, granting the children passage to whichever world lies beyond, and they take off running.

Except Yamato, who stays behind to grab his Partner.

Yamato: WE HAVE TO GO!!! Dokugumon: I WILL DRAG YOU TO HELL WITH ME!!!

They will not.

WereGarurumon: KAISER NAIL!!!

Dokugumon takes a point-blank Kaiser Nail that decapitates the goddamn castle, cutting through what's left of the mountain and bringing the entire thing down like a freshly logged tree. The attack erases Dokugumon.

Once the up-and-coming Nightmare Soldier IN STORES NEXT MONTH has been carved into pixel dust, Yamato catches the reverted Tsunomon and they too make the long sprint to the other world.

Yamato: Thank you, Tsunomon! LET'S GO!!!

The dub obviously changes out "I'll drag you to Hell with me".

Matt: Leave him and come on! Dokugumon: YOU'LL NEVER GET OUT OF HERE IN ONE PIECE!!!

They also cut WereGarurumon calling his Kaiser Nail. Then Matt's line is:

Matt: It was real close, Tsunomon, but it looks like we made it!

Bit too calm for my liking.

The children wake up back at the campgrounds, lying on the ground in front of the shrine they'd started at all those months ago.

Yamato: (waking up) Th-This is.... Taichi: Japan? Jou: This shrine... WE'RE ON THE CAMPGROUNDS!!! WE MADE IT BACK!!!

Mimi starts bawling from sheer joy and relief.

Sora: This is where we left for the Digimon's world. (beat) Sora: Where are our Digimon!? Koushiro: It couldn't have been a dream, could it? Sora: (heartbroken) ...maybe it was the wrong card-- Piyomon: Sora! Sora: (gasp, suddenly ecstatic) OR NOT!!!

Sora's come a long way from being weirded out by Piyomon's pushy friendliness and reluctant to emotionally connect to others in general.

In the dub, they don't mention Japan.

Matt: (waking up) H-huh.... Tai: Where are we? Joe: I know this place. This is the summer camp where we all met! You did it, Tai! We're home again! Mimi: OHHHHH HOME WHOOOAAA!!!

Dub Mimi doesn't so much cry as... some kind of yowling vocalization.

Sora: We're back to where we were first sucked into the Digital World. But where are our Digimon? Izzy: I wonder if we got the cards wrong after all? Sora: (heartbroken) Then in this world, we could be without them. Piyomon: You can't get rid of us that easily! Sora: (gasp, suddenly ecstatic, giggles)

Here Izzy theorizes that the card was wrong, rather than Sora despondently accusing it.

Right as it's revealed that the Digimon made it across too, the insert song "Seven" fires up to relieve the tension, which comes across as surprisingly hopeful now that we're back.

Palmon: Looks like you're all awake. Taichi: (jolly) And where did all of you get off to? Gomamon: Foraging for food!

The Digimon all reveal berry bushes that they brought with them. How Tsunomon and Koromon carried theirs, I have no idea. The kids have a good laugh about it.

Jou: Hahaha! This is Japan, so you don't have to eat that stuff anymore! Mimi: You'll get to eat nicer things! Everyone: WELCOME BACK!!! WE'RE HOME!!!

The dub overcompensates for the fact that we are admittedly in Japan right now by turning this last bit into another rousing round of just rattling off American things.

Palmon: Wake up! Come on, sleepyheads! Tai: We're up! We're up! Where have you been? Gomamon: (berries) We thought we ought to go look for a little lunch! Joe: Hahaha! Now that we're home, we don't have to eat leaves anymore! We can eat cheeseburgers! Mimi: That's right! And pepperoni pizza! T.K.: And french fries! Matt: And ice cream! Sora: Yeah! And broccoli: Other Kids: BROCCOLI!?!?

Before we can wrap up, Koromon has a question for Taichi.

Koromon: Taichi, why didn't you choose my card? Taichi: Your card? Oh, uh... I wanted to keep it as a souvenir? Koromon: Really. (¬_¬)

Koromon is right to be skeptical. Taichi is lying through his teeth. He picked at random.

Dub Tai seems to sell his lie better.

Koromon: How did you know that my card was the fake, Tai? Taichi: I didn't. I kept your card because you're my friend! Koromon: Hehe, that's so nice! (¬_¬)

Though the expression he's making doesn't really vibe with the pleasant response.

Taichi quickly changes the subject.

Taichi: A-Anyways! We should start looking for the Eighth Child. Yamato: Yeah! Vamdemon must already have made his move. Taichi: Hikarigaoka. I'm certain that's where the Eighth Child is. Let's find the kid before they do and rescue them! Group: RIGHT!!!

Good news, Vamdemon can't have gotten far. The time dilation that Taichi experienced earlier means it's been like eight minutes since he and his forces arrived in Japan. But the kids don't really understand how that works yet.

In the dub, of course, they've been dancing around Japan so they're not going to say Hikarigaoka.

Tai: Hey, everybody! We've got to go and find the Eighth Child! Matt: Yeah! And we've got to get a move on since Myotismon's there ahead of us! Tai: I'm happy that we're finally headed back to my hometown! And we already know that's where we're gonna find the Eighth Child! LET'S GO!!!

Tai, you live in Odaiba. You're as bad as Matt when it comes to reading Gennai Maps.

Ironically, Tai is actually so wrong right now that he comes full circle to being correct. Because the Eighth Child is, in fact, in Odaiba. Odaiba isn't the plan. But it is where she is. So. I guess. He gets a cookie anyway.

Assessment: I wonder what Dokugumon did to get snubbed from the Assault Team? They're not a mercenary. They actually work for Vamdemon, like Tailmon and PicoDevimon. If they really are just the security guard then they've done a terrible job of it, 'cause this is the first we've heard of them after fucking around the castle for two days straight.

I mean. They're dead now, so I guess it doesn't matter. RIP spider who was way too late to this party.

This episode formally introduces Digimon attributes to the series. They've technically been around since the very first rundown but now the kids know about them. Koushiro is becoming more and more capable as the Guy In The Chair.

This is a hard episode to watch only because it comes between the kids nearly making it to Japan and the kids being in Japan, which is arguably the best part of the series. So part of me was just vibrating in my chair wanting to get to Japan for the whole episode. XD

The dub had some unbelievable mistakes this time around. Like. Messing up attack names is one thing but they forgot what they even named the tiers of Digimon stages. They also cut out minor plot points and any mention of Japan or Hikarigaoka.

I wouldn't call this a complete hack job but it's not one of the dub's better episodes.

[essycogany]

Sweet Prime!Sonic Moments

My favorite scene in Sonic Prime should be a great start.

Episode: 5 “Barking Up The Wrong Tree.”

First thing I want to establish!

Episode 4 “Unwelcome To The Jungle,” and 5 made me laugh the most. Random I know, but I believe they have some of the best jokes and character interactions.

From Gnarly Knuckles acting like Sticks from Sonic Boom. To Hangry Big having one of the most normal line deliveries done for him.

“A shard? We don’t know...”

Then the episodes gave Sonic moments of annoyance and frustration with the scavengers and Thorn’s shenanigans. We could use more of Sonic being done with everything. It’s so entertaining.

(It also reminds me of Boom!Sonic so that’s an extra point.)

I wouldn’t say this show is perfect. Far from it actually. But I do appreciate what new sides to Sonic the show brings to the table.

Without further ado, let’s get into the overanalyzed ramble pile.

Quick recap

After Sonic’s argument with Thorn about finding a better way to express herself to her use to be friends and to figure out how to take better care of the jungle, Sonic responds with this:

Then he runs off to get Thorn to follow him. Which means Sonic already had an idea to get Thorn to come to her senses.

Side note. Even if Prime!Sonic isn’t the brightest, I wouldn’t say he’s dumb.

(Mostly)

In combat he’s able to trick/fool people or enemies plenty of times. Even in this scene Sonic tricks Thorn into lunching her hammer to allow sunlight into the unhealthy jungle.

Then we end up here. The scene that made me love this version of the character more then I already did:

Yes, the ear twitch at the end was added on purpose.

I find it hilarious this dude could have went on with his plan without really saying anything to the tree. Obviously this scene would’ve been boring without any dialogue, but to me it gives the impression Sonic has a soft spot for nature.

Environmentalism has always been the key point for the majority of this franchise. I also like in most media Sonic’s been a flower loving guy. It seems to be a consistent thing that Sonic has an appreciation for plants. Talking about how pretty they are. Having knowledge about them and so on.

Back to the scene. Sonic talks to The Great Green. Not a surprise since he talks to Flickies in this show too.

I don’t know why, but I just love the fact Sonic took time to reassure the tree he’s got things under-control. Even giving it a little pat to show affection.

Sonic even hugs a palm tree later on in the show which I find hilarious and cute.

In terms of characterization, I believe this scene is a brilliant way of showing how this character is in general. Sonic having sympathy for the tree while it’s branches goes down. Sonic’s worry for Thorn and how much she’s lost it by being overprotective and practically destroying the main thing she tried to protect. Proving how much he does his best to find some kind of connection to what is basically a stranger. Despite how similar Thorn and Amy are. Then the blue blur tells The Great Green he has a plan in mind.

Sonic: “I know just trust me.”

You’re NOT the Lorax, Sonic. Jokes aside, I like how Sonic clarifies to the tree he’s going to be careful.

Sonic later on:

This shows a bit of growth compared to the first episode. At least Sonic’s not being reckless this time and knows what he’s doing.

The music in this scene is nice too. I don’t think enough people talk about how great the music is in this show. I’ll say it’s another highlight for me.

I also love the angle of the weak tree looking down at Sonic’s cherry optimistic self. The leaves falling here and latter on in this episode are VERY nice touches.

Don’t get me started on the voice acting here. Deven Mack is my favorite Sonic VA. Not because he sounds better then the others, but he takes what makes ALL of them great and combines them into one. Deven has so much range it’s not even funny. Also if someone told me Sonic was voiced by an actual teen here, I would’ve believed them. Hot take! Prime!Sonic sounds younger then Movie!Sonic if I’m being honest.

Also, even though I’m not an animator, I believe the character models in Prime has some of the BEST facial expressions for the Modern Sonic cast has EVER had in 3D. I think they have the widest range of emotions. I’m fine with anyone who disagrees though.

In conclusion. This scene solidifies something about Prime!Sonic I believe most who love him would agree with. He’s by far the sweetest version of Sonic The Hedgehog. At least from what I’ve seen so far. Not to say other versions don’t have their moments too. It’s only due to this and other moments I may talk about in the future that makes Prime!Sonic my favorite. Hope you enjoy my little character geek out.

Stay Creative! 💜

[bamboobrat]

succession s4 e5 recap: swedish elon and his logan roy tribute band

time is a flat circle and we are back to ken hyping himself listening to rap, driving to the office.

anyone feeling nostalgic yet?

he is immediately caught off guard by the fact that roman and shiv are already there.

also he seems like the worst boss ever.

i really don't like ken when he is not hitting rock bottom.

(there is a movie about a sleeping robot in a cave that takes up too much time in this episode. let's not get into all that)

the old guard checks up on the CE-bros before their trip to norway.

matchy matchy&lt;3

turns out mattson wants them all there (why wouldn't he?) so THE GANG IS GOING TO NORWAY! lets bleed the swede!*

*as a norwegian, i approve this message

mortality has set into team krank, as they put on compression socks before the flight.

krank is not here to have fun. krank has no young mistress to impress. krank is serious.

shiv has noticed ken's leaks to the media from last week because she is boss. it's the comeback we've been waiting for.

but most importantly, she is waging a very important war against tom and his stupid new sneakers:

the sibs say they can kill tom for her. that's brotherly love.

hugo is not having a good time.

i am tho.

gerri rallies the troops by shitting on europeans.

yes mommy tell me i'm weak because i have free healthcare! sit on my face

gerri for CEO. always.

they accurately depict what it is like driving in norway:

(this is why i don't have my licence)

the gang arrives in the motherland and it's beautiful, but rainy (so authentic) and are all like WHY THESE WOOD CABINS SO SMALL?!

ironic because jeremy lives in fucking denmark.

anyway, whatever this is:

I DO NOT APPROVE!

the trip up to mount olympus is interrupted by con saying he can send a picture of their dead dad to the group chat.

nobody wants to see it.

also, marcia is putting logan in a kilt like the fucking bay city rollers and con had to cancel a room full of working class whites in cleveland. the sacrifice.

they give con carte blanche for the whole funeral thing, which is probably a terrible decision.

the funeral is going to be one big campaign rally, i'm serious.

the others have to settle for a nice lil scandi brunch spread. what a hard life.

i don't say this often, but i would be hugo in this scenario, piling onto my plate like it's nobody's business.

karolina has a cute lesbian moment.

she says something in swedish at some point, but let me tell you, i understand swedish and i didn't even pick up on it. no shade to dag, but lol.

hugo doesn't understand how ski jumping works.

i thank the writers for putting this joke in there, even if literally no one other than random scandi people will get it.

it's like the opposite of danny boyle's the beach<3 give back to the community<3

roman enters negotiations and puts his fingers in the caviar.

you think i didn't notice? after all this time, you must know i notice everything.

the CE-bros make the village elders proud, as mattson offers 187 per share as long as he gets ATN.

also, gerri does a second take looking back at roman. these are the crumbs i am destined to live on, i guess. roman doesn't want to give up ATN tho, probably because 1) his dad wanted ATN 2) his dad told him he wouldn't make it at pierce and belongs at ATN 3) he is, somehow, the most rational of the siblings right now????

speaking of rational: how are we feeling about the shiv/mattson potential here? i honestly have zero objections.

shiv is like fuck yeah, sell ATN, that shit is toxic.

agreed, but who gave mencken an open line to ATN-meetings? sounds like something logan told cyd to do during one of those late night calls.

"even dad had a line" rings true zero percent. pass.

get rid of atn. word is, they don't even have tucker carlson anymore? just keep a sweater, much less racist.

we get some important leo dicap representation:

and greg is the bringer of all that is exposition, telling us there is a kill list with 8 to 9 names, ever evolving.

now, as most readers of these recaps would know, i would like to avoid spending any time on greg whatsoever (made even more poignant by the recent rumors about nick), however, this must be one of the best exchanges of dialogue ever made:

greg: da fam shiv: da fuck

that's all.

tom tells the swedes that americans don't care about the rest of the world and it's funny because it's true.

and alex being like "you're ALL related?!"

i see you, succession writers, i see you.

mattson calls waystar a parts shop and has a good take on right wing media:

"i dont think news for angry, old men works"

instead, he opts for bloomberg grey: simple, cheap, huge, ikea'd to fuck. i do love ikea.

he calls the sibs a tribute band which is harsh. even for a scandi, it's fucking harsh.

anyway, SAUNA! SAUNA! SAUNA!

GERRI. IN. SAUNA! (chant with me)

i will never forget what the succession writers took from me.

krank out here just chilling.

i've never shipped anyone more.

we are introduced to ebba. i can tell i'd have more to say on this in any other situation, but it just feels weird (all norwegian know each other, i guess).

anyone else here for the shiv/mattson dynamic?

i'm sorry, i kind of ship it????

ken wants to tank the deal and roman immediately calls him out on his destructive bullshit:

and then immediately caves.

"i think we are good at running the ship" they say after doing it for approximately 24 hours.

i wish i had their confidence.

also, pinky can't dance, according to ken, so they keep shiv out. meanwhile, she gets cozy with lukas, who asks her about her marriage (bad) and tells her he sends liters of blood to ebba (also bad).

shiv shows us why she is paid the big bucks for political advice:

we don't see the end of their night, so i'm just going to assume they fucked. because she's worth it.

also, talking up gerri and karolina? girlies stick together<3

big bi vibes here. huge. idc if she's pregnant and drinking.

meanwhile, the CE-bros use greg to leak that the negotiations are souring. why would you trust greg with anything?

in an attempt to fuck the deal, the CE-bros show a terrible film to the swedish team, as if being scandi doesn't mean you've sat through enough terrible cinema already....

we get the strangest fight in tv history:

lol @ us for thinking this was an important moment for the two of them and then it's a fight about white sneakers and fat earlobes.

i sure hope shiv fucked lukas.

roman receives a photo of his dead dad and it doesn't really put him in the right place to negotiate with mattson:

ouch.

leave it to kieran to make an emmy-worthy speech across from alex skarsgaard peeing.

the plan was: tank the deal, but in a subtle way. what they did: try and tank the deal, but in a not very subtle way. did the deal tank: no.

i hope you understand.

the question is, if a deal collapses in the woods and no one hears it, is it a SEC violation?

mattson ends up offering 192 per share. karl jizzes his pants.

shiv gives the little spelunker tom a lil treat, telling him to fire cyd.

then she asks him out?

and ignores him again because she is taking a call from mattson?

idk my dudes, but i'm into this shiv comeback.

mattson seems happy and flirty and i sure as shit hope this goes somewhere.

as long as it doesn't involve liters of frozen blood.

i have a feeling it will be all good vibes until he learns about her pregnancy. there's always something rotten in the state of denmark (or norway, or sweden, but it's all the same).

the waystar-team receives the kill list after the offer and it's very stressful for a few people who made themselves suffer through a session in the sauna:

not on the kill list: karolina gerri tom because shiv fucking did the thing!!

oh, and karl and frank are on the kill list, but i think they are just fine.

maybe the real treasure was the compression socks we made along the way.