#YES BITCH I KNOW AFTER ALL I'M AROACE!!!

[babyrdie]

There's a type of post that makes me feel like I'm living in an alternative world. Like, I've seen about 3 posts talking about how male friendships are underrepresented and in one case they even said that it was almost or more underrepresented than M/M romantic relationships…guys, no…no!!!

Male friendship and M/F romantic relationships are the two most common types of relationships in the media, what the hell are you talking about??? I really don't know where you got this idea that there is little representation of platonic friendship between men. I'm sorry to tell you, but just because you saw anime fans shipping two men who in canon are friends doesn't mean that the media underrepresents male friendships. Like, girl, have some sense!

It's not difficult to find a series/film/comic/etc in which the focus is a group of male characters who are friends, or a trio of male characters, or it could even be a romance but the male character almost always has a male friend, etc. If anything, female friendships, let alone well-made female friendships, are much rarer than male friendships.

Male friendship is DEFINITELY not a type of relationship that is lacking in the media. Canon media, I'm not talking about the fandons that you guys get so upset about and act like they're the majority. I guarantee you that a considerable number of people in the world don't even know what a fandom is!

If anything, my rank of relationships that I most often see being represented is:

M/F romantic relationships, male friendships, and family relationships are all heavily represented.

And then we have a quantify difference

Here is the female friendships!

A good dose of quantity difference here too

The much talked about M/M romantic relationship!

Mooooore difference!

F/F romantic relationship

Immeasurable abyss

Queerplatonic relationships (regardless of gender)

And no, guys, men are not afraid to show affection because the SK8 fandom ships two men, as I saw someone saying that the reason men don't show affection to each other is behavior like that. In fact, I'm sure that homophobia is older than this phenomenon. Stop acting like fandons are the source of the world's problems, oh my god!!!

[meryachkins]

so. um. i wanted to post something about my mc. but i realized i need to Explain her a little. even if my english is wonky. even if no one besides me will like her. i'm willing to sacrifice my pride lmao ( pls don't beat the shit out of me because of misspelling or weird use of words or horrendous grammary. i'm silly your honor )

SO. there's her profile thing ?? i guess ??? and yes. my every character is armenian, thank you very much. es hay em what can i say 😭

cr for sheet: @kiwiplaetzchen

aaaaand there we go with A Lot Of facts sbout her ...

about blood status ! i believe she doesn't really know about all that stuff. in my head magic armenia is tied together with non-magic one, because there's no magic school and communities are small and local. wizards live like muggles, live side by side with them. therefore blood of her family is so mixed, that i can't even say is she half-blood or what.

and she doesn't know english very well. her handwriting is in block letters and it's stiff and sloppy. often when she's yapping about something she switches to her mother tongue without realizing it. and then she tries to translate her rant, but fails miserably lmao. that's why she asks her friends for help with textbooks in classes and why she hates potions ( she doesn't know all that terminology for ingredients )

during the first days at hogwarts she was a little shy, but quickly became friend with poppy and natty. then she beat the shit out of sebastian in the duel and felt Very confident because of everyone's vivid reaction, so she started to befriend every person in this school lol. she's very tactile and kinda touch-starved even though she always pissed her siblings off with the need to touch and hug and peck Everyone ( but they always let her do it )

also. she's aroace. she really loves her friends, but she do not understand ( and need ) romantic love and relationshisp. i mean, she doesn't really know she's aroace she live in 19 century lmao. but not once in her live she fell in love

she have 5 siblings: two oldest siblings zabel and levon, older siblings lilith and masis and smol sis asthik ( who's a menace to society. ) she loves them to death, but in the summer after 5th year there was a huge drama about levon and maro was Fighting for him with zabel ( who's a homophobic bitch, but i'm the one who made her like this so i'm not shitting her 😭 )

and they lived in constantinople, but when father died they moved to erivan, hometown of their mother. after this she have some kind of prophecies about something bad happening with their family and maro being their "savior". that's why maro ended up in hogwarts, like it's the only school except koldovstoretz that her mother know about. and there's some relatives in england, who left erivan when it became part of russian empire in 1829 ( i think ??? i'm not too familiar with dates, but i want this story to work ... )

also her patronus was the van cat ( or vana katu, it's a landrace of cats found around lake van ) like her father's. but she doesn't cast patronus often so she found out that her patronus has changed to the borzoi at 6th year. her neighbor from a wealthy family bred borzoi from russian empire and she fell in love with these dogs from the very first time she saw them. it's kind of a symbol of her homesickness and yearning for family, for her life in erivan.

so. um. if you read all that text above. thank you. i really want to be in fandom and to show my maro to everyone 🤲 i will post arts with her. i guess ........ and i really want to draw other people's characters !!! i just like the vibes in here lol

[punk-jester]

no one is straight in the modern warfare reboot, here's my headcanons that no one asked for:

- price: on the aroace spec, maybe he's attracted to men but he can't think of himself in a relationship and he works too much anyway

- laswell: lesbian, the only thing we know is that she has a wife but i'm just sure she's 0% attracted to men

- gaz: pan but i think he would be the kinda person who's just too focused with their job to actually get in a relationship

- farah: also on the aroace spec and she definitely likes women, i don't think she labels herself and doesn't really care, she easily forms strong platonic bonds tho

- alex: that man is a boykisser, trans gay man for the win 100%

- ghost: gay. the most repressed and in denial gay man you'll ever see. he has too much sex related trauma and thinking about his sexuality makes him uncomfortable. he finally figures out he's gay when him and soap become really close friends but he buries himself deep in the closet

- soap: probably bi with a preference for men, also he's demisexual, he doesn't fall very easily but once he meets ghost he's head over heels after like 2 weeks of knowing him

- alejandro: bisexual with a preference for bad bitches, no question asked, i think we can all agree with that

- rodolfo: honestly idk, he's been in love with alejandro his whole life (childhood best friends to lovers except it takes them like 30 yrs to get together even tho they always crushed over each other) and i think he doesn't care about labels, if you asked him he'll probably say he's alejandrosexual

- valeria: bisexual with a heavy preference for women, she wholeheartedly despises men so she hardly ever finds herself attracted to one, doesn't really care about romantic relationship because she "doesn't have time to waste"

- roach: TRANS AND AROACE (am i projecting? yes what are you gonna do about it? i grew up playing the og mw and i loved him so now i make him me) he just chills, zero interest in romantic relationships but very easy to be friends with

- könig: gay? maybe??? he's also on the aroace spec because i desperately need representation. we don't know a lot about him and his personality apart from being socially anxious and cocky so idk???

- horangi: doesn't label himself, he's down bad for könig and thats enough

[dafodils-on-the-moon]

!!!! So many questions bc I love this with all my heart <3 First, it's freaking hilarious that he became jester because he was "difficult to handle." LOVE that. Second, I gotta know, what does everyone else think about him? Arthur? Gwen? Morgana? Is Morgana doomed to die by the hands of a COURT JESTER?????

Ok so. Crucial part of this Au: Uther knows Merlin in Balinor’s son but does NOT know abt the magic. Merlin does not know about being Balinor’s son. Uther kept him cause he thinks it would be a good idea to have a dragonlord on hand that's loyal to Camelot, given what he's keeping under the castle.

Also I'm very aroace and don't wanna write romance for a while, so no romantic Murther.

Instead, Uther raises Merlin and Arthur as brothers. He deeply encourages the loyalty to one another as keeping Merlin loyal is essetail and Merlin is a very valuable asset that bears protecting. He emphasises to Arthur that as the eldest, Merlin is his responsibility and he should take care of him. Merlin is his younger brother.

Arthur takes to this role like a wildfire. Protective as SHIT over his new baby brother (Merlin is two years younger), esp. Since he was… not doing too hot when he first got to the castle. He was greiving and seemed *terrified* and didn’t speak at all for months. He was sickly too, for reasons no-one could pinpoint. Arthur had made it his mission to cheer Merlin up, as no one should be that sad. He and Merlin communicate at first via drawings.

He only seemed to improve after he started talking quietly to an imaginary freind he named “Kiggah.” It seemed to help cause merlin slowly started talking to Arthur and then in general and his health imrpved too.

Yeah… Merlin’s imaginary freind is Killgarrah lol.

Killgarrrah, or Kiggah as a now 5 year old Merlin could pernounce, is getting a major overhaul in this AU. His is going to be far far less of a bastard. Cause dragons are too cool for him to be the absolute worst.

In this AU Kiggah actually cares more THAT HIS ENTIRE RACE WAS ERADICATED than that he was trapped under the castle. Cause, fr, that is not the part id focus on. Also I gave him a family before, sorry man. Kiggah was also really really fond of dragonlings and hatchlings and was very excited to see the hatching of his first great-grandhatchling before the purge. Ow.

Anyway, Merlin is TERRIFIED of being in Camelot. He’s terrified he’s going to say something wrong and reveal his secret and die. He blames himslef for his mother’s death (cause he’s like 4 1/2 and thats normal for kids that age) and more specifically, his magic. So he supresses the shit out of it, which is why he’s so sickly.

Kiggah senses Merlin basically killing himslef and tries coaching Merlin into using his magic again. Adopts Merlin as his own hatchling. Kiggah doesn’t know Merlin’s dad is Balinor, but he DOES know he’s emrys, magic itself. As a result, Kiggah views Merlin as a fellow magical creature and raises him accordingly. He… doesn’t really get how human hatchlings are supposed to work.

Merlin starts acting weirdly dragonlike. His growling, he’s biting people, hee’s climbing everything, hoarding things and has a major fixation with fire. He is gettign “difficult to handle” as UTHER, assumes this is just how dragonlordlings are, (good gracious), but needs a way to coverup the fact he’s raising one.

Fooleswurth, nuerdodivergent in ye-old times, sees Merlin and his like “haha verily. Reminds me of when I was that age, I was just the same. He must have “The Jester’s Spark, haha.”’ Uther goes “yes and” and now fooleswurth has an apprentice and Uther has a way to explain why his ward is so weird.

Anyway, Kiggah is NOT excited about Merlin’s new older sister, but Merlin loves her. He is very excited for whenever Morgana’s magic manifests. She grows on Kiggah. (Esp. With all teh trouble she gives Uther). Morgana’s going to be fine.

She and Merlin get on like a house on fire. Gossipy bitches. Morgana sics Melrin and his “jester’s privolegde” on bothersome nobles to insult them into the ground.

Gwen becomes Morgana’s maidservent, and she Morgana and Merlin are great friends.

[rose-void-789]

Man Soriel is so queer. Fandom wise what queer relationship isn't like weirdly hated when anyone does any little analysis on them being potentially cannon. Get it's a really popular ship that people got tired of but man it's the funniest shit so many loved this ship so then people came up with an essay on why they could and would never be a thing and in fact was unhealthy and weird. It's so much funnier to with a good canonical friendship. Like I'm in the mha bakudeku space, it's crazy going from that where stuff is a lot more nuance but still see less people being upset with it then Soriel it's insane. I feel like I'm a time traveler in the trenches day after the war.

People insisting they are just friends and that a relationship will ruin them as if relationships can't just be very good friends who happen to sometimes go on dates sometimes is such a queer ship argument to have. Toby apparently confirmed Sans as AroAce even apparently Toby then said to not use his tweets for this but hey if true this is an actual queer relationship. And honestly, I'm sure after everything with Asgore Toriel is also not that keen on all that.

But can we talk about that because man I stumbled across a post that made me realize these bitches are so queerplatonic. They remind me so much of one of my friend's relationships. They just talking for ages doing flirting through puns to pull each other up. Like yes this is cannon Soriel. The first time they talked though that door they would have been there till the next day if Paps didn't need a night story. On the surface if the post pacifist interactions are anything to go by I'm sure they nabed a house together. Maybe everyone living together but in every ending where Toriel is alive, he always seems to live with her. There such good friends in the surface these two would totally be joking flrting that might turn to actual flirting but no one not even they know yet I don't think they'll go for anyone else. Toriel certainly isn't going after Asgore any time soon and Sans isn't going to go find someone when he's content. They'll be content on the couch watching some shitty comedy joking around cuddling even. They'll go to Grilbys or some random place once a week for some reason and people will just assume that date night for them. They'll see something in the store and buy it for a prank and cause it reminds it of them. They'll get married as a bit or only because of the tax benefit. If Frisk stays with her you know he's secondary guardian on school stuff. These two are just pure fluff with angsty talks they can only understand sprinkled in. Yeah maybe they won't be an a traditional relationship but honestly these two will definitely be in some weird romantic platonic limbo.

[makomafu]

Everyone thinks will is Trans but let's be honest here; Frankie I'd trand while will's genderfluid. I don't make the rules

OIGHHGE you just reminded me to post my Queer HCs i fucking forgor

Creeps HCs (Queer edition oooo)

Laughing Jack

I honestly can see him being aroace and non binary. The idea of gender is one that isn't like deeply pushed upon his kind, he's a children's toy and that's what he sees himself as. Boy? Sure, Isaac's a boy, he can call himself that too

Girl? Why not

he sees himself as a toy, a children's toy. Made for entertainment, and friendship.

William Grossman

The reason i see him as a trans guy is cause 1) i am trans myself, 2) i can see him wearing clothes like Jessie Pinkman from Breaking Bad or Marshall Lee, he got the top surgery and his scars look pretty sick 🔥

TbH this headcanons is also heavily tied with Isaac because i like making SO many connections between those two. He's very proud of his gender and how he looks like, and he loves how he has Jack to make him company! Jack helps him get shots lol

Oh and he's also a bisexual disaster but doesn't get many bitches

Isaac: get a girlfriend Will!

Laughing Jack: or a boyfriend, he's bi!

Isaac: Damn nobody want u fr 😭

Laughing Jack: That's what i'm saying like 😭😭😭

Will: ;-;

Frankie The Undead

Ok it first started as a silly headcanon inspired by other people's but now i can actually see it

I see this man as a trans man, and a gay man. This man has been kissing dudes since the 40s. He used to have this lover back in the 40s he always wrote letters to, they've all been burned but he sometimes remembers those times. (Also this is the willfrank shipper in me talking but his past lover looked awfully similar to William)

He's also trans because i love transmasc characters that are old i love it. He doesn't bind because he doesn't feel like it, being fat also helps lmao. He loves his body, he just fucking hates the stitches <33

Isaac Grossman

I can't decide if this guy is aro, gay, or bisexual, he's too queer for me. YES, the guy people see as queerphobic is ironically the most queer in my eyes. Imagine the repression he went through from his teenage years to adulthood, the loneliness. He only had one person that could understand him, and it was Jack. With time he forgot he was ever accepted, as he forgot Jack.

He never found any "true love", but there was a man that sticked with him even after death.

Also, yeah, i think the biggest change i gave to his original story is that he's AFAB. How does Will exist? Well, only children weren't exactly common for poor families in the 1800s England. The isolation he felt most of his life, the constant struggle of thinking, knowing, that out of everyone around you, you're alone on this one.

Jack, again, was the only place he could've feel safe, if they just didn't kill that cat. What could've been.

This man is TRAUMATIZED and my angsty teen ass is the culprit

[jeanmoreaux]

literally yes to all i could not fall asleep either 😭

i think what's so bRILLIANT about tsc (besides, like, everything) is that nora seemed really nervous that her vision for the story and characters would get swallowed by the HCs the fans have been cooking for years, and while that still could happen in book 2, i felt like while i was reading it her vision was my vision - like i am positive we as fans have influenced her story and maybe jerejean won't turn into anything (i'll eat my arm fr) but that bitch at the very least was like "okay sure fine i'll give you mutual attraction" "i'll give you jerejean friendship and intimacy even if i may not give you sex or romance (just yet)"

and i think the other thing i was so overjoyed about was that even though the og AFTG is definitely (clearly) very queer, nora really stepped up and took it to a whole new level in this one with both the representation and just the overall tone - that like not only are a lot (all????) of the trojans open and together and so incredibly gay, but they're shaping the story and jean and making it less shameful to be gay in exy. like og aftg spent a lot of time being like "don't be gay! this is bad! you can't do this!" and while jean still harbors that (for his own fucked up reasons i'm gonna kms) it's obvious that the tone for this book is so much brighter and gayer.

and! the parallels between neil's story and jean's!!! like obviously we could write essays on that topic alone but in conjunction with that point i just made - seeing the similarities between the house taking in jean and the foxes taking in neil (his lack of possessions, their protectiveness, their attempts to normalize him, their creation of a safe space for him) literally made me want to gouge my eyes out it was so beautiful and sweet and fun and QUEER. like aftg always had aroace undertones and such a huge part of the aro/ace experience is friendship and queer friendship at that and so to get to see this kind of found family play out AGAIN but in a slightly different way with a whole group of gays who are out and proud and happy is just......everything

like it's not that i was *worried* persay because i do trust nora but you never know what you're gonna get with spin-off sequels and this fandom is like a rabid dog and so for her to bravely return to this world after years is amazing in itself but to do it in a way that is.......dare i say.......almost......better than the original.......it blows my mind. and it makes me appreciate the original series in new ways now that we'll have more info on the ravens and all of their bullshit. like i literally am sitting here being like....so....series reread tn queen????

if i wasn't insane before (i was) then i sure as hell am now

~

also. can we talk about jeremy's cheesy af dialogue that makes me squeal? thinking about him saying hecka with his full chest....i love that man

holding hands 🤝✨ felt alive yet so dead once i was done.

also what a glorious ask. i can co-sign all of this and i don’t think i have anything to say that adds value to your points. you’re so right.

nora is so brave for letting us back into that world. because as much as i love and adore this fandom’s passion, it can be intense is a quite negative way at times. so yes, nothing but respect for nora coming back and giving us Her version of the story. the small nods to us (blond jeremy, frosted tips, the cardboard dog etc.) were so very endearing. and i don’t want her to betray her integrity just for the sake of fanservice. i trust her to deliver a great story, even when some of the things i might want to happen will not end up being anything (e.g. jerejean). nora’s vision will feel right because whatever she decides to do and wherever she decides to take this story i know will make sense. it’s very funny to me that you mentioned how you think tsc might be better than the original because i had the same thought. i am hesitant to really settle on it one way or the other yet; mainly because i tend to get very excited about new, shiny things, but also because we don’t have book 2 yet and i think to really Know i have to consider the story as a whole. but you can definitely see that nora improved as a writer in general (which ofc makes sense.)

i fear this will remain THEE aftg year for me. i am already tempted to reread. i don’t think i’ll know a moment of peace from this story in the foreseeable future but i am not gonna complain i’ll just lean into it and indulge.

~

godddd i expected to love jeremy but i didn’t expect to fall for him this hard. several time i caught myself studying his way of engaging with people and made some mental notes. he’s so special to me. i think once we get his backstory it will get even worse. and he does offer a very different perspective and attitude that’s so very refreshing while still being in tune with what we are used to.

[orange-juice-speaks]

do you think an aroace person would be stuck in Schmigadoon forever if they somehow managed to stumble there I'm aromantic & asexual and this question has been stuck in my mind for a few days now lol ngl it would probably be torture to have people try and make you find love when you know you don't rock that way- (schmigadoon being aroace purgatory theory ???? /j)

I actually spent a few days pondering this as well after seeing your ask and came up short (because I have a life) but then the Leprechaun Song from Season 1 shuffled into my Spotify on a whim.

The lyrics of Leprechaun Song #1 are as follows:

Once ye have entered Schmigadoon 'Tis true, ye won't be leaving soon Within its borders ye are bound Until at last true love ye found But till ye find it, ye must stay Where's life's a musical every day

Nowhere in that lyric is it stated or even implied that the love must be romantic. Just that it's true.

For an aroace person, is romantic love the truest form of love?

Is it even the truest form of love for those of us who desire, seek out, and experience romance in the traditional (alloromantic, monogamous) sense?

I'd argue not.

Without even going into the implications of a polyam relationship in the Schmigadoon universe--because I REALLY can't speak on that experience--I'm not in a relationship at present but I still feel love every day, and that's just as legitimate as if I were in a relationship. I'm sure you feel the same, as someone who is aroace.

ALL THIS TO SAY I think you could be unstuck from your purgatory. You'd just have to subvert every single plot referenced in Schmigadoon by teaching those bitches the value of platonic love.

This is definitely feasible and to an extent, done in canon. S1's final number, after all, isn't about being so in love. It's about growing and changing--believing that if we all make an effort, we can all understand one another. Mel and Josh's romance is just the backdrop to the changes of the townspeople, and this could be accomplished in many ways, including by an aro character telling people they don't need romance--they already have all the connections in the world just by being in the town. Of course this would not stop ANY amount of failed setups and other hijinks.

An aroace protag also lends itself nicely to the quest in Schmicago, where the victim of Schmicago has to find "a happy end". We know, of course, that the point there was to say happy endings don't exist--life is always hard--but what does this hardship look like for someone who may not have a lifelong companion? In a world where everyone else is happy to be in love, what does that look like for someone who isn't happy with that.

Food for thought.

I hope that was the answer you sought, lol

[viscountessevie]

The main focus of a season should be the lead couple and for secondary characters the bridgertons and the family of the love interest. I think the key should be to make the audience care about the siblings separately (as secondary characters) so we can be invested for the season each are the focus, instead of focusing on other families (you know who), LW and dead-end romances used for plot devices (Sienna) or to prove a character is not gay (Theo). Lady D can have focus, as a treat

Related to this ask

You're so right anon!! Thanks for the ask and waiting paitently for me to get to yours 😁

So the very first bit you're totally right the main focus should be the Bridgertons, it is called Bridgerton after all! And yess secondary characters and plot should be fleshing out the latest future Bridgerton and their family but in the case of the Featherflops, cameos the last two seasons would have been nice then shove them down Pelicans' throats in their season.

The LW reveal was so fucking unnesscary in S1 it just got dragged out and boring knowing it's her. It would have been more interesting to keep the reveal for their season like the book and minimise her crimes cos now she's just completely irredeemable.

Okay so the 'dead-end' romances is where I gotta disagree with you, anon. I actually adored Siena and Anthony. Then again I did start out as a show viewer then I met the formidable Kate via the books. After becoming a Kathony, I realised I wouldn't change Ant's S1 arc it really fleshed him out and prepped him for his story with Kate in S2. Yes, I bitch about how they fundamentally changed TVWLM in S2, but the one good thing the writers surprisingly pull off was Anthony's arc. The parallels and stark differences between his relationship with Siena and Kate respectively were *chef's kiss* and that was more than enough so I don't understand why we needed to add Eddie into the mix. Anyways I disgress. That's my take on how Siena served Anthony's arc and it worked especially in the manner of fleshing out the other Bridgerton sibs. I'm not saying all of them need to have a romance before their endgame but sometimes it helps.

You're so right to say Theo (and by extension Tessa - Ben's model classmate) were used to make El and Ben straightified this season but God forbid we let a single Bridgerton be queer. 😤

However, I did like Theo's purpose - should have been Theodora - to open up El to a world she's not experienced before and finally put some action to all her preaching while introducing the notion that she could fall in love. Because we love our little funky aroace lesbian but we also need to see her open to being in love before she settles ends up with Phillip. Otherwise, just like in the books it's going to be jarring for her to be super againdt love and marriage and then ends up with plant boy making it seem like she was only doing it cos she felt left behind in life by her peers.

Lady D deserves a focus as a treat!! But I no longer want her involved in EVERY Bridgerton romance. I love her but S2 made me annoyed with her because they basically had her replace Mary like wtf. They should just stick her to the romances she was involved in the books (Pelican and Hyreth) but I did like the change that LD was involved with Saphne cos she was Simon's godmom. But in the meantime aside from S3 and a poential S7, she and QC can vibe in the background maybe get a cameo from a certain grandson (god I would kill for childhood besties Hyreth).

Honestly we should just overthrow the writers' room and write the show. I swear whatever we seem to have come up with is miles ahead better than the mess the last 2 seasons have been. (S1 was pretty good as an adaptation; just hated the rushed resolution)

If you made it this far, thank you for reading!

[hiding-in-my-blanket-fort]

It's after midnight so it's time for: Overanalyzing Ye Olde Sexuality Hours™.

I'm in the aroace communities on reddit. I follow the tags on tumblr too and I'm grateful to finally understand that part of myself.

But something I keep running into is: people still want relationships *of some kind*, whether that's a QPR or navigating a relationship they're already in with an allo or whatever.

It kinda leaves me scratching my head because I'm 32 and I've literally never desired that. I've never pictured myself going on a date, never wanted to tap into that scene whatsoever.

People talk about how they leave one relationship and get into another a few weeks later and that absolutely blows my MIND because there is not one single person I have met in my life that I would think, "Hey, I'd like to date that person." How do you know more than one person you would be willing to date???

Even the aroace forums talk a bit about how you "just gotta put yourself out there" if you want a relationship of some kind. Meanwhile, I'm gesturing wildly to empty air going, "To whomst would I be putting myself out there for???" I've never connected with someone in that way.

I've never had someone express interest in me that way either. I've never had someone admit a crush on me.

And since childhood trauma and social anxiety is a bitch of a concoction, friendships have always been pretty slim pickings. I never had someone I was super close to, let alone a best friend who I would consider living with.

At 32 years old, I feel like I've stopped looking for people and just accepted that it's a solo path for me. When you try to make friends but the effort isn't reciprocated, you just...don't want to try anymore.

And that's another thing - people talk about meeting new people on apps for friendship or whatever but...that's so foreign to me. On top of that, I DID meet up with pen pals when I was a teenager and it totally bombed. I can talk for hours through writing/chat/texts, but in person, I'm pretty quiet and my energy only lasts for an hour or two before I get a headache and I'm wiped out.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm watching all of humanity around me through a window. They have friend groups. They have group chats. They seek out dates in the hopes of a partner(s).

It seems like I've been waiting and waiting for those same desires to kick in for myself. But they never have.

On rare occasions, I find myself wishing I had a friend more than a romantic partner. I don't even want a friend group because I'm usually the third wheel, or there's too much happening and I get overstimulated. I just want one friend to do things with sometimes.

But I really struggle to relate to peers my own age. It seems like it's all alcohol and clubbing and hooking up/dating/sex. Or if they're married, it's all about their spouses and kids. Not interested in any of that.

Socializing is also really casual for most people my age but it's not casual for me because it's very tiring. Most people know how to navigate normal shit like going to the movies with a friend or meeting a friend for lunch and I've literally never done any of that.

I think I've grown accustomed to solitude being my constant companion. To hear people talk about how much socializing impacts their daily lives, how much they desire other people - whether that's through friendship or a relationship or whatever - it's difficult for me to grasp because that has not been my experience.

[fratboykate]

I've seen your post about Yelena not being canonically aroace and I want to begin saying I totally agree with you, honestly. But if I may, that comic Black Widow: Pale Little Spider, it was not written by the creator, Devin. It was written by Greg Ruck (I think that's his name I don't 100% recall it). I do see there are more chances the "I'm not anything" phrase is her saying she sees herself as nothing considering the main plot of the story but the truth is, even if you read the entire comics there's still a chance, even if it's a minimal one, that she is subtly telling she's ace, because she said that Responding a question about her sexuality, you know? So don't you think that him of all people is the one who should be getting asked about this part in specific, since he is the one who wrote it? Yes, the MCU is not the comics and I totally agree that people can see MCU Yelena however they want because nothing has been established there. But the deal is, if he wrote that scene really talking about her sexuality, it Is canon you know? Not in the MCU obviously, but in comics would be and that should be respected.

That's just my opinion and I'm not by all means here to start a fight about it. Hope you're having a great day! 💜

Hiii! Hope you're having a great day too :) Totally get that you're not trying to start anything. Neither am I which is why this is a tricky one to answer haha.

I...uhhhhhhh...don't know how to say that thinking "I'm not anything" in the context of that scene after seeing all of the panels and not just the one out of context panel they like to use lacks the most basic reading comprehension and critical thinking skills without sounding like a bitch so.......lol. I guess we can all just sashay away and agree to disagree then.

[doodle-dog-diary]

Saltober DAY NINE: Hobby

Original post here

Technically this is a hobby that is my own but yeah couldn't think of anything else to write about

(Warning: please do not talk to me about Yarichin Bitch Club. Do not play the YBC opening song anywhere near me. I WILL rip your throat out in a very unsexy way.)

Psst.

Come closer. Closer. Yes, that's it. I have a secret to tell you (tbh it's not so much a secret as just something I don't usually go around telling people, but I digress)

I read yaoi.

No, I didn't just go through a phase when I was like 13, I read yaoi as in, I'm still doing it now. Present tense and all. NO NO PUT DOWN THAT PITCHFORK I CAN EXPLAIN

I think I must have started when I was 13, maybe 14? When a self-proclaimed-fujoshi friend of mine introduced me to it. (I feel like back then every female friend I had was either already familiar with yaoi, or into yaoi. I don't know why, it feels like yaoi was like, an integral part of the Teenage Girl Experience)

I then discovered the amazing world of free manga reader sites, and no one could stop me from then on (except maybe almost getting caught once, but still). In those early days I started out only reading yaoi that was recommended on rec lists, in an effort to filter out the icky weird toxic bullshit (It didn't always work. Remember that opinions are subjective, and sometimes someone's memories of a thing may be tinted with nostalgia). I then learnt how to judge books by their cover with some degree of success (you can tell which works are more recent based on the art style. More recent stuff is less likely to have problematic elements, like abuse and rape being portrayed as romantic)

Ok, I know how this sounds, before you say something like, "but Doodle! That sounds like a lot of trouble! Wouldn't it be a lot easier to just, you know, read something from another genre?" I will say that yaoi, just like literally every other genre of fiction in existence, adheres to Sturgeon's law (90% of everything is crap), so it's not like I have significantly higher chances of finding something that is not crap with any other genre. I would know, every time I went to the library and picked out a YA novel (the sort geared towards teen girls) 9 times out of 10 it would be the same old "boring brunnette protagonist who insists that she's ugly even though she's not has two angsty hot dudes chasing after her, everyone looks like a model, also magic and werewolves" bullshit. So yeah, I'd rather take my chances with yaoi, because…

…Second, I…like pretty boys. YES I KNOW I'M AROACE THAT DON'T MEAN I'M BLIND,…also I'm a degenerate weeb, I just like looking at pretty anime boys, what can I say

Third, I've adapted. I've learnt to embrace that So Bad It's Basically Psychological Horror Yaoi lifestyle. I mean, if you can't escape it, you might as well just embrace it, you know?

Listen, man, reading bad yaoi may be an acquired taste but is an EXPERIENCE. Especially yaoi from like, Ye Olden Days. Those are a whole different level of fucked up. I could pick some random yaoi that looks pretty old, and the title would always be something that's really cute and cheesy, like, "doki doki first kiss" or something like that, and the mc experiences violent sexual assault within the very first chapter, without fail, every single time. That shit really fucks you up, man.

Also, I LOVE how yaoi mangaka will go, "you know what would be real fucked up?" and then go and draw a whole ass comic about shit that's fucked up. But potray it in a sexy way.

(Seriously. I just read one where it's like a collection of short stories, and in one there's a guy who's a literal pedophile. Like seriously. His friend asks him "what kind of girls are you into" and he deadass stares at a group of elementary school kids and says "you wouldn't get it" like no joke for real goddamn. Same guy goes and molests his little twink classmate not two pages later. The whole thing is portrayed as a cutesy high school romance)

Before I end this, word of advice, it's something I learned from my yaoi rec list days, some people will say shit like, "oh, go give Junjou Romantica a try…go read Sekaiichi Hatsukoi…trust me it's good…really the most wholesome romance story in yaoi history…" THOSE PEOPLE ARE LYING. DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM. I WATCHED JUNJOU ROMANTICA WHEN I WAS MAYBE 14 AND IT SCARRED ME FOR LIFE. SERIOUSLY DO NOT DO IT I AM 100% SERIOUS I AM NOT FUCKING AROUND JUST DON'T DO IT

[tabithahallows]

I'm bored so imma rant about my hp o.c and no one can stop me :)

Meet my salty snake child Val (aka, Valentine Lestrange) (aka Valentine Elladora Druella Lestrange) (aka that %100 that bitch) She is the star of an ongoing fic of mine beware of spoilers (TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of abuse and violence)

If the name didn't give it away, she's only child of them crazy mofos Bellatrix and Rodolphus

Yes I am aware that it's kind of an overdone trope but it's overdone cause it's awesome (also I made her when I was like 13 so shut up)

Lives with the Malfoy's cause her rents are rotting in a cell duh

When she was 8 Dumbledore randomly appeared in her garden and was like to wanna buy some drugs join my evil snake man killing and Chosen One protection team cause you're such a badass and she was like lol ye okay and it shapes the entire plot

It's a secret so Val has to act like a crazy sadistic blood purist but sike it's all an act. She just keeps up the appearance so one can guess she's actually just tryna protect Harry all the time cause plot and she's actually rlly good at it btw (all the fun of a villain while still being a good person)

Her besties are her shitty cus Draco, life long irritation Leah Lovat (o.c), sweetie angel child whom they all love and protect Olivia Benson (o.c), basic but charming ass kid Liam Highcourt (o.c) and Blaze Zambini yea you read that right I don't spell his name correctly it's a long story (cannon honestly written so ooc that it doesn't matter at this point)

They are all basically nuts. Just overdramatic twats with questionable upbringing's. They are all trash but you will love them. You have no choice

Val is a genius, like a for real prodigy type deal in both academics, magically ability and wit. Legit %89 percent of the stuff that comes out of her mouth is just sarcasm

She only wears black cause she's a melodramatic dumbass but would never admit it

She's also scary af. Has half the school traumatized within a week

Sinnamon roll™

What's shorter? Her or her patience? We will never know

Actually has morals and doesn't agree with her fams purist views

Has the best dynamic with Snapey Kins from a writers point of view. He knows that she's involved with Dumbledores Plan™ and before you freak there is NO romantic/sexual relationship between Val and Snape (it's legit just a slow burn friendship that neither of them wants to admit to)

Val and Snape openly hate each other's guts and can't be in the same immediate area without screaming at each other. He's petty and she's vindictive so shit hits the fan often and quickly. They're basically just as bad as each other when you really get down to it. Val pretty much tells Snape that he's a useless bitch (paraphrasing) on the first day of class and the rest is history

Everyone gets used to it super quick and just lets them go for it because it's not worth getting caught in the crossfire. Dumbledore finds it amusing but only for the first couple of years cause come one guys can you stop screaming we got shit to do

It's her job to protect Harry so can you imagine can you fucking fathom how stressful that shit is? cause the boy is always in trouble or some kind of danger and Val is just like BOI STAPH standing in the Quidditch stands hoping he don't die

Val and Snape slowly very slowly develop into having a seriously convoluted and overprotective friendship while still managing to hate each other so they would kill for one another but would also still kill each other. They do end up genuinely caring about one another an it's h e a r t b r e a k i n g

Yo I never said it was a healthy friendship we are dealing with two very fucked up individuals here in a high stress high stakes situation, my lads. I'm not trying to write the kind of friendship ppl should actually have (Val and Snape need so much therapy tbh)

Val's a badass that can handle anything and more but like she's also human so after while things get a lil you know

t r a m a t i c

She didn't have a fantastic childhood btw cause Lucius Malfoy is an abusive prick and Narcissa means well but needs to do so much better.

She will fight you anywhere anytime and she will win because she's kinda overpowered for a literal child but it fits my aesthetic so whatever

She's aroace (so no romantic plot involving her in sight) she just doesn't know for a while cause her life is a constant shit show

Has a proper upper-class aristocratic lady upbringing but still turned out to be a feral child

She is super short by the way literally doesn't hit 5'0 until she's like 14 (Blaze is in the same boat). Cause Snape is like 6'0 or something he can just pick her up and throw her if he wants but she starts fighting like a feral cat the second he touches her

She's really protective of her friends and her cousin and will kill you if you so much as look at them wrong. She knows they are trash but they are Her Trash™

She's actually a super lovable character and you will want to adopt her because she's amazing and no I will not accept hate because she is MY CHILD OKAY

There is so much angst going on oh my god Val never gets a fucking break cause life be like that sometimes

Okay that's it folks I swear it's so much better than it actually sounds or maybe it's not meh

@fandomssaremysoul @incorrect-pretending-to-hate