#YEEHAW ITS MY BIRTH! DAY!

[spearxwind]

It is my birthday today!! I'm 26!! And Adri turned 7 with me this month as well :D Make sure to have a swag as hell day today, for me!! Cheers!

[desceros]

i saw on your queue list that you’re wanting to do a papatello au!!! wondering if you would spare some headcanons????

ps your writing is great!!

[with heavy sarcasm] oh no, not someone asking me to discuss one of my favorite fic ideas, the absolute horror

after a terribly unfortunate incident (donnie learns he has a breeding kink and doesn't check to see if the two of you are biologically compatible before enjoying it, thoroughly, over a long period of time) it is discovered that you are pregnant. oops

after a days-long conversation where he freaks out because he's terrified about your safety when he runs some tests and the fetus is very much going to be a turtle with a shell inside of you, the two of you decide to... try. to try and keep it. it feels a bit like a miracle, after all, though he's very very careful to monitor the entire time. and well he should, as it's a difficult pregnancy; they actually end up taking her out a little early and putting her in an egg-like incubator for the last month or so when he starts getting concerned about some pain you're having.

the two of you name her lavinia, after splinter's naming conventions. but very quickly, mikey shortens that to lavi. she's very much a softshell turtle mutant, but she has your smile and (as she grows older) black hair just like papa splinter from having more human DNA.

lavi is the actual poster child of being a daddy's girl. from birth, she favors him for almost everything: being held, being fed, being bathed; if donnie's not doing it or close, she's fussy.

donnie is the actual poster child of being the world's most obnoxious father in the entire world. he's that guy who will insert his kid into every conversation, bending or even snapping its relevance to shoehorn her in. he has pictures upon pictures. videos of lavi doing absolutely nothing except being cute.

and she is so fucking cute. but she's also a bit of a demon, just like her father. wicked smart and always getting into trouble. worse still, if she gets caught, she just looks at donnie with big eyes like 🥺 and it's over. she's not getting in trouble.

lavi also really loves her uncle raph, and she has taken to stealing his catch phrases because she thinks they're funny. you have a video on your phone of her running agilely away from donnie with something very fragile and important, giggling and yelling 'stealing LIKE A BOSS' as donnie chases her, teeth clenched and hands outstretched, going 'lavi, dearest, sweetest little bug whomst i love endlessly and forever, please give that back to papa Right. Now.'

her favorite uncle tho is probably uncle leo. he has cool comic books and watches fun tv shows. she likes to climb onto his shell and curl up to take a nap. a picture of leo crying the first time she did that remains your contact photo for him for a long, long time.

this whole au is just an excuse for me to dump cute headcanons about donnie being the best dad in the world and no one has stopped me yet, so. yeehaw

[prettyinsea-blue]

I just stumbled onto your blog, I love it!

I'm also writing my own au(ish) type thing involving Godzilla

Can you infodump about yours? :D

OF COURSE! It’s gonna get long so be prepared hah! (Most of this is actually spoilers for my own books so yeehaw)

Okay so, I’ve restarted my AU multiple times but after watching the ending credits of Godzilla: KOTM and piecing the story together that was hidden beneath the white markings— I decided to change up my AU and that is the version that I’ve kept up with.

So basically, there’s gods & goddesses thrown into it all. There’s a creation goddess named Gatix and she’s been around since earth was created, and a few elders were there as well (Methuselah, Scylla, Behemoth, and Shimo for example.)

When other kaiju species began arriving Gatix decided to split her powers between two members of the divine moth species, Akari and Daku (two fanmade moths). These two are the goddess and god of Life and Death.

Soon after these two are created, a war sparks between the MUTOS and the rest of Kaiju civilization, practically making life almost impossible on one side of the world.

On the divine moth side of things, there are two new sub-species types that are named after their respective gods. Akari moths control life and healing and Daku-moths control death and pain. Upon this, most Daku-moths are killed during their first winter.

However, as the war is in its highest point— Akari and Daku ask Gatix if they may split their powers further. Of course, they don’t know who to give their abilities too but you know— Gatix always has an idea. She decides that their granddaughter, Mothra, should take on one of their powers. Though, at the time of her birth she was born as a Daku-moth but she does not have the full power to become a goddess.

The reasoning for this is because Mothra’s faction (that’s what the moth groups are called) has become so detached from reality that they actually told her mother (Setsuko, another fanmade titan) that Mothra had died when in reality they were about to use her daughter for their own greed.

Around this same point in time, our favorite Gojiran is learning how he fits into this world with his mom, Evelyn, and his cousin, Zilla. He had lost his father, Dai, to the war and so he has to watch his mom fight all the battles by herself.

But of course, when he hits the age is 120 years old, his mother is slaughtered in front of him- which forces Zilla and him to leave the only homeland they’ve ever known.

Rodan’s also in here too! His childhood is pretty chill and I haven’t fleshed out his story entirely so that’ll be saved for later! Though I will say, he is bisexual and he does have a partner named Yoko (I decided to make a fanmade character because I couldn’t figure out which actual character to put him with.)

That’s all I say lore wise because I’d rather let you and everyone else reading this figure it out for themselves when I get back to posting Godzilla stuff lmao. And hey, if you still around long enough, you’ll see the MVT chapters get posted (maybe after a month or so because I don’t want people to get spoiled for GvK).

Thank you so much for the ask! I’ve never got to infodump before!! :))

[nanagoswife]

Still Worth Fighting For

Summary: it’s James Bond’s birthday and the past is trudged up.

Warnings: angst, mention of death and loss

A/N: This drabble is in honour of this

man’s birthday. So, happy 54th birthday Daniel Craig!

- - -

You come into the room, leaning against the wall as you watch James. He’s looking out over the water, seemingly lost in thought as the sun sets.

A wave of sympathy washes over you as you see him take a deep breath, letting his shoulders sag. He had just come back from a mission yesterday but that’s not the reason for this. You knew why he brought you here as soon as he wasn’t needed at headquarters.

It was his birthday.

Now, while most people celebrate the day of their birth, James Bond doesn’t do the same. Instead, it’s a day the trudges up the past and it could be anything. The passing of his parents, anyone that he’s loved that were lost, his worst days in the navy, it all comes flooding back.

That’s why you weren’t surprised that he said to cancel the plans with Q and Eve. That’s why you weren’t surprised that the two of you were where you are now.

So, you push yourself off of the wall and quietly make your way over to him. You know he just wanted some peace and quiet. As much as you know he won’t admit it, he’s tired. Tired from the work and, most importantly, tired of losing so many.

You know he knows you’re there but you’re careful to not startle him as you step up behind him. You graze your hands around to his front, resting your head between his shoulder blades.

James sighs as he puts his hand over yours that’s found its place over his heart. You feel as the last of the tension in his body dissolves at your touch.

“Hungry?” you ask quietly, moving to nuzzle your face into his neck.

He takes another breath before humming, “nn-nn.”

You nod a bit. “You need to rest, James,” you offer quietly.

He hums as he gently squeezes your hand. Still, he makes no effort to move and stays silent. That’s when you know what he’s thinking.

“The sun sets to start a new day,” you start quietly. “Maybe it’s because their days ended so that a new one could start. Not just for you, but others as well.”

“And what about yours?” he asks and it took you back. This was the first time that he’s said something like that. Never in the many years you’ve been with him has he mentioned you.

Yet, you aren’t too surprised that his thoughts have drifted to the present.

James turns in your grasp when you’re silent for a few moments. His blue eyes are icy as he looks at you. Every single thought and feeling is conveyed by the way he looks at you and how he pulls you closer to him. It’s as if he feels like you’ll disappear if he doesn’t.

You offer a comforting smile as you bring a hand to cup his chin. He leans into it as you say, “I’m not going anywhere, James. Not anytime soon.”

In an instant, James pulls you even closer as he buries his face into the crook of your neck. You rub his back to try and comfort him as the only sound is the waves from behind you.

So, in this moment, all you can do is hold him and reassure him that, through all of the hardships, all of the losses, there’s still things worth fighting for.

- - -

@imabeautifulbutterfly @thereluctantherosrose @where-fantasy-meets-reality @vesqermartini @trishxtrix @hollandfangirl @yeehaw-my-guys @obiwannie @rentskenobi @purelyfiction @binanas @gabiszew @dvnnyoceans @catherinemcc1

[teonys-jf]

heres smth character specific. thoughts on issa, brendans wife in s2

yoyoyo i love talking about issa!!

now cannon issa i like, but she’s kinda boring. she’s just a “wife :) i love my husband and kids :) im a country girl! yeehaw!” and i think there should be more, and when i first thought that i went practically the opposite way lol

so issa is an albino woman with blue eyes, naturally platinum blonde hair, and is kinda tall. she’s a devout divine warrior believer

when she was little, her parents left her and her older brother on the streets of o’khasis to fend for themselves

when it hit that night that they wouldn’t come back, they carved their full names they were leaving behind into the tavern they were told to sit by

issa considers herself not having a last name

because of how hard it was in o’khasis if you didn’t have money or connections, she would repress anything she felt and learned to be standoffish and apathetic

to try and ignore this when she was older, she tried holding a relationship, but realized she couldn’t do it because she was scared of commitment

she left the baby in a basket by the side of the road leading out of scaleswing due to postpartum depression

she left a first name on a tag around its wrist

once, when she was on the move again {she never wanted to stay in the same place}, she found herself in a barely-together town called phoenix drop

she stopped there since the next town wouldn’t be for a while, and she needed help delivering the baby she was pregnant with

there was a kid, about 12 years old, who is living there

issa knows, the guy she’s staying with knows {since he was taking care of the kid}, the only one who didn’t put it together was dell

issa would spend the next few months in phoenix drop living with brendan, dell, and kiki

she would try and avoid interaction with dell, but that was difficult since she is very sociable

after giving birth {thanks to donna, molly, and kiki’s help} she packed her things and got ready to leave a couple days after

the night she left the baby started crying, brendan came over since he knew issa would need recovery time

he saw her trying to leave out the window {caught her sitting on the windowsill} of the same room as the baby, as he picked them up and couldn’t believe she was doing this

he was going to try and talk her out of this but saw the look on her face, and felt like he couldn’t do anything

issa still named the baby that night {gaol a dhìth, missing love} to leave it a ‘parting gift’

brendan couldn’t stand her, and instead named the baby gràdh {love}

they were born intersex, had their mothers’ eyes and dark hair

[abelromanov]

its me bri again i dnt kno my limits dnt lk at me bye. anywhomst this muse is very very new bt i have ? most of his background n personality figured out methinks so give this a Cheeky Like if u want 2 plot!!!

『BRENTON THWAITES ❙ CISMALE 』 ⟿ looks like ABEL ROMANOV is here for HIS SENIOR year as a PRE-MEDICINE student. HE is 24 years old & known to be ARDENT, CONSIDERATE, RIGID & AGGRESSIVE. They’re living in MORIS, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ bri. 22. est. she/they.

stats.

name: abel camille romanov.

age: twenty four.

gender identity: cis-male.

pronouns: he/him.

sexuality: bisexual.

birthday: december 3rd.

star sign: sagittarius.

myer-briggs: estj.

year of study: senior.

major: pre-medicine.

occupation: n/a.

place of birth: stratford, connecticut.

religion: catholic.

about.

second child 2 senator vaughn and philanthropist adelaide, younger brother of cain!! the romanov’s r quite well known fr their All American n Lavish lifestyle which can b read all abt HERE in cain’s intro yeehaw! (im lazy)

growing up abel worshiped cain he was the cool older brother who cld do it all n still maintain the lifestyle he wanted/their parents expected n abel wanted nothing more than to follow in his footsteps

he tried his best to keep up, did everything cain did, but his grades were always just a bit lower, or his form was always just a bit off, he always felt second fiddle, like it was his role in life as the second child

abel ignored it the best he could for most of his life but he started to notice a different side of cain that he didn’t show their family and a side that :/ abel didn’t like or know at all that was quite vile and this was when some resentment started to form bc their parents thought of cain as their Golden Child n didnt see what was going on behind the scenes whereas abel tried his best to be genuinely good if he could help it

by the time he got to radcliffe, things were starting to look up a bit, his already rly gd grades were managing to improve, he was on a bunch of teams, and the coach was saying it was looking good for him to become captain of the soccer team by his sophomore year

bt bc i hate my muses obviously this was not going to happen?

though things were looking up abel was still subconsciously trying to impress his family, his siblings, the people around him, wearing himself out until he was stretched far too thin, and he paid for it with one wrong move during a soccer game that had his knee popping out of place and shattering

it was really really really bad, he was in a cast for a few months bc it needed several surgeries, obviously sports were permanently out of his future, he still walks with a limp in his right leg to this day

this sent abel into a really bad depressive spiral sighs that he didn’t really talk to anyone about cause he’d trained himself at that point to just keep things to himself and never reveal his emotions so that no one could catch him vulnerable or have an upper hand on him

however this was the final nudge he needed to really become his Own Person after realizing it’d gone too far and he’d gotten too bad (on medication now to regulate when he gets out of control/starts to get bad again bc it does happen from time to time)

told his parents fk ur money! n moved out of perkins so that he could become an RA in moris, started joining different teams tht he thought wld b more fun (radio, chess, etc.), starting to distance himself from his siblings a lot too

this was when he rly started to loosen up a lot too he was . a very Boring Lame man before frankly bt got into the world of Parties n made way more friends than he ever did trying to uphold the family image

is still . quite stiff around the edges to this day tho, thinks everything through and has like daily planners he writes down his entire days in to the Second old habits die hard its jst how he functions at this point

had another rly rly bad depressive episode when cain went missing bt like everything he does? he internalized it baybee!

when cain came back tho their parents encouraged him to move into moris so abel cld keep an eye on him n it made abel :/ another reason fr resentment in his eyes (he still loves his brother hes jst . bad at vocalizing how he feels so it makes him bitter)

has been with several ppl bc hes kinda desperate fr approval/fr ppl to need him so hes been quite a good bf in the past bt his incapability to properly open up has put a real Damper on things

likes to think hes in perfect control of his emotions bt explodes a lot bc hes bottled things up fr years

thts all . i can think of now ok bye<3

connections.

exes???? he wld have a Few methinks

fwb’s/past hookups/ur regular old Spice

he’s never been with a guy before bt as u can see in his stats he Is bi as i cannot play Straights so mayhaps someone who Opens His Eyes

ppl he has a crush on............. bt wld never say anything abt it . in his current Frivolously Unemotionally Emotional state

students in moris tht drive him fkin insane or on the other hand students tht he has a sibling like relationship with n is rly protective over etc.

family friends/ppl he grew up with?? or ppl who knew him before he separated himself from his family a bit n knew him as a diff guy n is like ‘omg wtf lol’ now

obvs . some friends Bleathe

enemies?? ppl who he got annoyed with n jst lost it on bc it was a wrong place wrong time Situation.

thts all i can think of rn very basic bt teehee

[teddylawrence]

hlo everyone!!! im bri one of the admins here at radcliffe n im DUMB excited to get this Party Started!!!! YEEHAW BAYBEE!!!!!!!!!!!

『HARRY STYLES ❙ CISMALE』 ⟿ looks like THEODORE ‘TEDDY’ LAWRENCE is here for HIS SENIOR year as a DRAMATIC ARTS student. HE is 23 years old & known to be WHIMSICAL, CHARMING, MELODRAMATIC & TEMPERAMENTAL. They’re living in GORHAM, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ BRI. 22. EST. SHE/THEY.

pinterest found HERE.

stats.

name: theodore ‘teddy’ claude lawrence.

age: twenty-three.

gender identity: cis-male.

pronouns: he/him.

sexuality: pansexual.

birthday: february 13, 1996.

star sign: aquarius.

myers-briggs: enfp.

year of study: senior.

major: dramatic arts.

occupation: bartender.

place of birth: syracuse, new york.

religion: agnostic.

background.

annie holland met theodore rydel when she was 15, and by 16 teddy was born, but theodore wasn’t there to see since he left pretty quickly after annie announced the pregnancy /:

he was just a child too basically, and an addict alongside annie, just an all around bad person who was selfish and was more concerned over figuring out how to get more drug money than the fact that his ‘girlfriend’ was pregnant

annie took care of teddy until he was around 2 with the help of her parents, but one weekend the neighbours finally called the police when they heard teddy screaming his little head off for 2 days straight - turned out that annie had gone out to score and got too high to head home, so teddy was immediately put into foster care

for most of his life he was sort of punted around from home to home, shelter to shelter, etc., he found himself in several abusive situations so his childhood? Not Good

he still had a place in his heart for annie though, generally ran away a lot and get kicked out of the homes and shelters he was in bc he was meeting up w his mom

eventually he was placed in the lawrence house when he was 16 and when he first came in, he had a giant chip on his shoulder, just refused to let them take care of him or try to be friends with what would soon become his siblings (there’s a large handful of them)

around when he started to warm up to them is another time his mother wanted to meet up - a lot of the time if she did it was just bc she needed money, so when teddy met up with her to say he wasn’t leaving with her and had refused to steal from the lawrence’s for her, her boyfriend attacked him pretty brutally and his mom was too high to do anything about it

after that the lawrence’s insisted on adopting teddy so that he became a permanent fixture in their life and he realized these people were more his family than annie ever was, now he loves and treats them all like they’d been his family his entire life

he’s still quite close w all of them to this day, n his brother michael (shout out cosmo 4 bringing him am so excited) n sister maggie (traditionally played by neen think shes gna b bringing her soon) go to radcliffe w him!!!

details.

truly the most dramatic bitch who has a habit of saying wtvr is on his mind without thinking of consequence cuz he frankly wasn’t raised to have a filter bt he rly does have a heart of gold

head of the drama club at school

has been in like . 2 or 3 commercials before and is tryna work on getting himself out there more bc his dream is to b an actor

more of a Class Clown type than anything else

was known fr sleeping around before finally settling down with blake (shout out neen)

struggles with drugs and drinking, currently attempting to quit drugs cold turkey bt its not rly working in his favour /:

connections.

ppl who r in his major?? or r a part of the drama club/school radio he does both :-)

mayhaps a dealer?? wld love someone evil who knows hes struggling to stay sober bt still sells to him anyway/insists he does fr their benefit.......... rubs my grubby paws

mayb ppl he was in the system with before.......

exes!! on good or bad terms, he wasn’t exactly faithful n also was always attracted to ppl he knew Weren’t Good For Him so something fun cld b done there

friends!!! he’s a social butterfly so needs many friends

enemies/rivals fr wtvr reason

mayb someone w a crush?? who wld never say anything since he’s dating blake now

anything rly!! the world? Our Oyster................

[twilights-800-cats]

yeehaw so a long while ago, before mapleshade’s vengeance came out, we were all terrified of what the novella was going to do to the only (at the time) female villain the series had - lets be real, the erin’s track record is very, very bad.

so i wanted to do my own mapleshade story! and i did - for a while, anyway. i got busy, personal life stuff happened, and i dropped the project. the blog still exists with a portion of the story, though, if anyone is interested. i did my best at the time to piece together a pre-bluestar’s prophecy story before one existed!

now, mapleshade’s vengeance is a decent novella - one of the best, tbh. so i dont really intend to keep going with my imagining (or re-imagining i guess now) of the tale - so i guess ill just dump all the details i remember, because im bored.

the prologue of the story sees redwillow, a new member of the now-defeated dark forest, wandering about in his new home and considering what led him to this point. he runs into mapleshade, they sass, and mapleshade, tired and fading, settles down to tell redwillow her story.

it begins with maplekit and sweetkit as the kits of dapplestar, thunderclan’s current leader. a heavy leaf-bare has struck thunderclan, leaving prey scarce. maplekit is born with a sickness that makes it hard for her to breathe and move - she is confined mostly to the nursery, with sweetkit and the queens.

dapplestar is not the best mother - she focuses her energies on her clan rather than her children, so maplekit and sweetkit are often left by the wayside, much to the dismay of the queens and some of the clan. dapplestar, however, seems very blind to it all.

thunderclan and riverclan are in conflict - riverclan is responsible for the death of dapplestar’s deputy and mate, snowtail, but thunderclan holds sunningrocks because of him.

maplekit’s sickness makes every cat question whether or not she can be a warrior - she’s smaller than sweetkit, having not had as much of a chance to develop her muscles. however, when newleaf comes, maplekit’s illness doesn’t seem to return, and dapplestar makes her kits apprentices.

the story kind of falls off here - maplepaw and sweetpaw meet other apprentices at a gathering, like applepaw of riverclan. maplepaw strives to do her best to get other cats’ attention, because she hates that her sickness made her weaker than others. she is visited by a “starclan” cat who trains her hard to help catch her up.

i wanted an odd alliance between thunderclan and shadowclan, something that the books never really had happen - because riverclan is demanding sunningrocks back and windclan is backing them.

despite their clan’s alliances, maplepaw and sweetpaw meet up with applepaw and other apprentices after a gathering and train together. sweetpaw doesn’t like the thought of sharing battle moves with other clans and refuses to go again, but maplepaw is pleased to show off her strength - especially when it gets applepaw’s attention.

maplepaw’s desire for attention and strength drives a wedge between her and sweetpaw very quickly - but maplepaw is bolstered but her progress and her mysterious mentor and quickly becomes a rising star in thunderclan. sweetpaw feels like she hardly knows her sister anymore, but doesn’t tell her clan that maplepaw meets with applepaw and the others.

eventually the fighting between thunderclan and riverclan comes to a head. maplepaw and sweetpaw earn their warrior names - mapleshade and sweetbriar. its the last thing the two sisters truly do together.

mapleshade continues to meet with applepaw, now appledusk, and their relationship turns romantic. sweetbriar takes a mate and moves into the nursery. mapleshade thinks her sister is weak for wanting to have kits so soon, and mapleshade’s mind quickly turns to ambition and power, wanting to take her mother’s place as leader one day and knowing she can, because she is considered thunderclan’s strongest warrior.

sweetbriar catches appledusk close with another riverclan she-cat at a gathering and tries to tell mapleshade, but mapleshade refuses to listen. sweetbriar calls her a hypocritical fool and the two properly cut ties, though sweetbriar wishes things were different. sweetbriar has her kits - pinekit and other kits that don’t make it through leaf-bare.

dapplestar sees the death of her grandkits and declares all out war on riverclan again, driving thunderclan warriors to their deaths and losing several lives herself trying to keep sunningrocks on thunderclan’s side. the clan is not happy with this, but mapleshade is - more of a chance to prove herself as thunderclan’s best.

mapleshade, however, is taken out of the fighting when she realizes she’s having kits. she meets with appledusk, who seems excited - mapleshade, for once, thinks of the kits’ lives and wonders if they could go away and start a clan of their own. appledusk refuses, and mapleshade wonders back to sweetbriar’s warning that appledusk might be cheating on her.

it is confirmed at a gathering when riverclan’s leader announces appledusk’s kits

mapleshade, furious, attacks and kills appledusk on riverclan territory. no riverclan cat knows who did it, but they know a thunderclan cat to be responsible. thunderclan is confused at the accusations. mapleshade does not care for the lives of her kits but she is forced to stay in the nursery, where she gives birth to her three kittens.

sweetbriar one more time tries to mend their sisterhood, and only gets out of mapleshade that she wishes she’d listened to sweetbriar moons ago, looking down at her kits with sorrow and scorn. sweetbriar puts the pieces together and realizes that mapleshade killed appledusk, and tells her that such a secret could not be kept for long. mapleshade insists shell silence any cat who threatens her, even sweetbriar.

the kits grow, and eventually their parentage is revealed. mapleshade is reviled for her treason, and when riverclan’s medicine cat is told he realizes that mapleshade killed appledusk. by riverclan’s decree, thunderclan trades mapleshade and her kits for sunningrocks.

mapleshade is exiled from riverclan immediately, chased from the territory by cats who threaten to kill her. her kits are kept in riverclan, lost without their mother and hated. mapleshade, despite her prior feelings, had grown to love her children. they were all she had, even if she wished they didn’t look like appledusk. spurred on by her dark forest mentor, mapleshade seeks out members of riverclan and thunderclan and begins to murder them - she kills riverclan’s deputy and appledusk’s riverclan mate, and eventually makes her way to murdering dapplestar, who exiled her from thunderclan.

she tries to reach her kits but they fear her - and mapleshade is cast away, dying from horrible wounds. she dies alone, swearing vengeance on both thunderclan and riverclan, but sweetbriar finds her sister’s body and buries her beside their favorite training log, wishing her sister had been different but still loving her all the same - which leads mapleshade to seek out sweetbriar’s grandson, tigerkit, for training.

...

obviously this is rough, messy, and way, way longer than a novella would be. there were just elements i hadn’t yet figured out and mapleshade’s vengeance did a pretty good job with her story that for once i didn’t feel the need to try and revive this concept.

i dont even know if this is better than what mapleshade’s vengeance brought us, but there it is! if you made it this far, thanks for looking over this garbled plot dump!

[veinereastath]

Like if they were old lovers - John x Deputy one-shot

Yeehaw, another one.

Word count: 1576 Warnings: None. You can also read it on my AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15441507/chapters/41700185

    "Deputy, whose name I still do not know."  John murmured to the radio, comfortably positioned in his bed, pushing away a strand of dark hair from his face. "How are you feeling tonight?"

    As usual, Rook's answer was something that he had to wait for for nearly a whole minute. He wasn't sure if she was doing it out of sheer malice, or maybe she just hesitated before agreeing to start the conversation. "It... It could've been better, for sure. But why are you suddenly interested in my well-being?"  She hissed slightly, as if she were clenching her teeth. John looked at the window. It was already dark, and the clock was at tenth. What could Deputy do at this hour? 

    "I always am." His reply was fast. "And because I am also extremely empathetic, I can tell by your voice that something is wrong. Especially since you admitted that you could have felt better."  He smiled slightly, almost pressing the radio to his lips, as if he wanted to make a physical contact with his interlocutor. When he heard a gentle, guttural laugh, he involuntarily took a deep breath.

    "... You and empathy? Really?"  She was mocking him and it irritated him a bit, but it was also amusing, in a way. "What else interesting can you tell me? Is Jacob working in the orphanage in his spare time?"  She paused for a moment, and the man sensed that she hadn't finished talking yet. "Is Joseph actually a normal, mentally healthy man?"  She growled, somehow amused. John clicked his tongue in a dissaproval, stroking his right thigh with his free hand.

    "You didn't answer my question, dear."

    "Because I don't intend to."  She answered immediately, then groaned. This sound, though full of pain, made the man grab his thigh way too harsh than he should. His long, tattooed fingers dug deeply into his skin. He enjoyed it.

    "Pain." John murmured, then sighed. "I can hear it. Gunshot wound? Knife cut? Wolf fangs?" He began to list melodically, letting out a bit of trembling breath from his lungs. He would give anything to be able to see her right now, see her body. He felt alone for a long time. Deputy provided him with entertainment, but not exactly what he at some point began to count on. She began to irritate him, mainly because of... the stimuli that she woke up in his body at every next meeting, or even a conversation on the radio.

    "A Judge, yes." John shuddered when she uttered his favorite word, though not in the context in which he wanted to hear it. It would seem that she also realized what she had just said, because from her throat came out an unusual sound, as if she wanted to rebuke herself. "Lovely creature. Almost as much as its owner."

    He gritted his teeth. Envy. She was mentioning Jacob way too many times for his liking. "You consider Jacob to be charming?"  He asked, trying to remain calm and unfazed.

    "Interesting." She sounded like a purring cat. John wondered if nature had given her such a voice, or maybe she just had a great weakness to cigarettes. "I didn't say his name."

    "But you mean it."

    "Oh, do I?"  Rook chuckled, almost like a teen-age girl. "Since when all Judges belong to Jacob? I could've meant some random Hunter, you know."

    "And did you?"  She didn't answer him, but he was sure that she smiled. He didn't know hot to interpret it. He could only guess. John sighed softly, stroking the metal frame of the radio with his lips. "What's your name?"  He whispered, holding his breath. Silence fell for a few long seconds. It felt like eternity. He started to think that she won't say anything else and it's where their concversation ended. He tried so hard to get her name, wondered how it would taste. How would she react when he would call her like he should and wanted to. Calling her by the title was tiring and vapid.

    "Why do you care?"  She sounded... Sad. As if the subject of her name hurt her. John sighed dully, his fingers white with the strength with which he clamped them on the device. "My name means nothing to your actions. It's not important."

    "It means a lot, and I need it. I want it. Why are you so desperately trying to hide it from the whole world?"  He could get is from Hudson, probably. Maybe that deputy Pratt already told it to Jacob. But getting the truth from someone else would not satisfy John. He wanted to get it by himself.

    "Because life is much easier when the growing number of people I killed is attributed to my title, which has a lower value than the name given at birth."  She responded dryly. John heard a soft purr. He guessed that it belonged to the cougar that faithfully followed the woman, day and night. "Maybe you and your brothers like it when people caress your ego by assigning you more crimes, but my psyche works differently from yours. I was diagnosed with sociopathy, not with psychopathic tendencies."  She gasped, then let out a heavy breath from her lungs. He reminded himself that she was hurt, and surely heavily bleeding. Warmth in the area of his lower abdomen irritated him - he could barely restrain himself from loud groaning at the very thought of her wounded, bloodied body. Which he wanted to watch now, lying in his bed next to him.

    "Aaaaaah. Sociopath. That would explain a few things."  For example, how unfazed she seemed to be when someone was hurt. Unless they were her loved ones - and John wasn't able to count more than four of them (Hudson wasn't on that list, he realised) - she didn't seem to feel any regret at all. She didn't care. She wasn't on the side of the Resistance because she wanted to help people. No, it was because she disagreed with the Eden's Gate, that's all. In the end, the only person she truly cared for... Was herself. "Fascinating human being you are, indeed."

    "You flatter me."  His heart beat faster. "But I'd prefer that you don't shed your sick, sadistic fascination into torturing me and marking my skin."  There was a short pause. "Can you do it for me?"  

    Her request contained a strange note of sweetness that made the man feel as if he were beginning to melt. He licked his lips and narrowed his eyes. Lust. This woman was an amazing mix of sweetness, cynicism, malice and innocence. A silent killer and defender of the oppressed at the same time. "I've already marked your body, but you still haven't confessed. You're silent when you're right in front of me and tormenting me from the distance. Are you even able to sleep at night?"  His voice was almost a whisper. The conversation, which at first was supposed to be a small torture, turned into something way too intimate. Like if they were old lovers. Oh, how he wanted...

     "Sometimes." The answer was simple. "But there is always something that needs to be done around here. Sleep is just... A nice addition to my life, but not an integral part of it." 

    John swallowed hard. "Where are you, divine being?" Another murky whisper. Menacing. Combining the offer with a cold promise. Sooner or later he will find her again anyway, and then he will not let her escape. Now, however, he gave her a peaceful chance to voluntarily give in to him. He knew, however, that she wouldn't accept it. She was too stubborn. Oh, and he loved it.

    "Divine being, you say."  Deputy chuckled darkly. "Oh, John Seed, If only you weren't my enemy..."  He had to put the radio aside for a moment, feeling the sweat running down his forehead. It was too much. There was nothing in this world that he wanted more than her - and he wanted many things - and she always refused every offer he was giving her, no matter what it was. And no matter how close she was, even when he had the opportunity to touch her body, she was still somehow out of his reach. He hated her for it. He cursed the fate that it put her on his path.

    "I'm your enemy only in your head. I just want..."

    "Oh, I know what you want."  She cut him off. It surprised him, but he didn't gave any sign of it. He didn't want to give her any kind of satisfaction. Not... Yet. "And I'll tell you my little secret. I absolutely adore the way your face twists in anger, hatred and feelings of rejection everytime I say "no".  This is the last thing in this world that makes me happy, even if lasts less than a heartbeat."

    "... Snake in the garden."  He murmured, gritting his teeth. She surely smiled, even though he couldn't see it.

    "And one more thing."  Rook sighed, probably because of the pain. "Fuck you, John."

    The last words he said to the woman were a pure threat. "I wish you would."

    Deputy turned off her radio, and the last thing he heard was her silent gasp.

[jvc-yearofservice]

First Day of Orientation! (8/1/19)

           It's officially the first day of orientation to the Jesuit Volunteer Corps today. I'll be here in Philadelphia for training until the 6th, and then I'll be flying straight to Sacramento with my housemates. From the 7th to the 13th, we will get to know the city and get settled, so we can start our new jobs on the 14th. The entire day was a bit of a whirlwind but also fun, and it was repeatedly brought up what a radical decision it is for someone in their 20's, fresh from college/graduation, to be voluntarily signed up for a program where we have a super tiny stipend of $100 per month (transferred onto a reloadable debit card), $90 for groceries each, and choosing to live with virtually a bunch of strangers who will not be guaranteed to be your friend or even get along with you. I've questioned this decision a thousand times in my head and even sometimes verbally, wondering if this was the right choice for me at this time. At this exact moment, I do think so. Something feels very right to be here -on my own, away from what I know is safe and normal. To be challenged.

           I never got to explain why I ultimately decided to try my luck at the JVC, but I can say it now, even if it is kind of weird or silly. Several months ago, I was working at a public school for my Social Work Masters practicum, and I was sure that I wouldn't be staying there but was not sure what I was do afterwards. At that time, I was reading a book about a Bengal tiger who targeted and killed an exorbitant amount of humans in India and Nepal during British colonial times. An exceptional hunter and Irishman, named Jim Corbett, who grew up in that region with his family was called on to kill the tiger since it kept evading capture and was continuing to kill at its leisure (No Beast So Fierce by Dan Huckelbridge). He ultimately kills the tiger, but while reading this book and after finishing it, I was left with a yearning to live as Jim Corbett once did. After killing the tiger, Jim Corbett goes on to hunt down man-eating animals all around the world, answering the calls of whoever needed him. Something about the way he was able to move from country to country or even continent to continent had answered a very important internal question about what I wanted to do next year. Did I want to stay in comfort, in the city of my birth? Or did I want to continue challenging myself by trying new things and leaving behind what is already known to me?

           Like this hunter, I too could (for a year or my life) temporarily hold onto my roots and explore the world. The only downside was that I would be giving up the chance to start chiseling a place out for myself in the world by getting an apartment and paying off my loans. I would also have an entire year's worth of salary if I had stayed and gone to work right away. A large part of me always answers this complaint with "It's just money. Money is not the whole world", but I also recognize that just because money has not been that important to me so far in my life, this is also the time currently and from now on where money will be dictating so many of my decisions since I've depended on my parents for so long financially and not had to deem money as important (privilege alert, ding ding!). Another issue with wanting to have money and accumulate wealth is that it makes me ashamed as a Catholic and someone who sees how harmful and fatal greed can be to an entire society. I try to fight every day against beliefs and policies that virtually try to exterminate the poor, disabled, and oppressed and which subsequently try to justify why so little amount of people have everything and so many people have nothing. If my dream is centered around building wealth (and therefore some sense of security), am I as much to blame as the rich who I resent for hoarding money?

           On the flip side, though, there is no way to live in this society/world without money, and that is not my fault at all. As much as I would like to live in a world without money or exploited labor, I must survive by working and getting money in order to help the greater good. It seems to me that some of these religious organizations who say "live simply" are a bit hypocritical for calling us out on our totally justifiable need to have some money to survive, while they are sitting on millions of dollars that came from un-taxed donations. I feel guilty and torn for wanting money and wanting a simple lifestyle, but I also recognize that even Ignatius Loyola and all the other Jesuits were not free of greed like me. When a Jesuit joins the order, he is doing so with the knowledge that he will be fed, taken care of, and paid for by the entire religious order, so this existence is not as radical as it seems to me now. Yes, it is radical to give up the ability to marry or have children, but now you will be cared for unequivocally and without question for the rest of your life by a greater power than you, and that provides a lot of security to someone's life. For me, I have no greater financial power to look after me so concretely, and so I must continue to work for the rest of my life for suitable funds to live on. So, in that line of thinking, am I not the more radical one and living more simply than the Jesuits themselves?

           No, we are all the same in that we are all just trying to be better than what we already are. That being said, I'm excited for the rest of orientation and meeting all these new people. One of my house-members informed me that she was told how one of the rooms in the house we are living in for a year is haunted by a benevolent ghost who no one knows anything about! Apparently, one specific room gets the most hauntings, and it is common for steps to be heard coming down the stairs or in the house, and books are often pulled out and off of cabinets that have been closed/locked. So awesome!

           Some logistics very quickly: we have 10 vacation days from our work, can visit other JVC houses because apparently each house hosts random parties throughout the year, and I do have to get a California driver's license which is unfortunate, but I also get my own room in our house in Sacramento! Yeehaw! My new address is:

619 12th Street

Sacramento, CA 95814

           I'll be starting at Mustard Seed School on August 14th, and my hours there will be 7:30am-3:30pm Monday through Friday. My job will be involving homeless children's outreach, so I will be picking up kids from homeless shelters, motels, etc. to bring them to our transitional school/housing while their parents find a place for them all to stay, and I will also be helping out at the daycare and preschool on some days. To get there, I will walk or ride a bike that is provided by the house in Sacramento (even though my work offered to get me one too). Sorry if I am not answering my phone a lot either since we are technically on a retreat and supposed to stay present as much as possible.

Will try to keep updating when I can!

Ciao,

MK