#Y’all talk so much shit about how you like characters like Nesta and Tamlin because they’re the “most human”

[stargirlfeyre]

I think the main problem in this fandom is people are totally out of touch with human emotions and they don’t believe these characters have a right to react to things. And this logic ONLY applies to characters people dislike. If it’s your fav then they are allowed to be the vilest and disgusting person in the world but yet no one is allowed to react to it.

Feyre isn’t allowed to still have negative feelings towards Nesta because “they made up in book one”.

Rhys isn’t allowed to hate Nesta for hurting Feyre because “he hurt her too”.

The inner circle isn’t allowed to react to anything hurtful Nesta says about them because “they’re 500 years old and should be more mature than that”. Which is the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard because at what age do you stop caring when someone says something triggering to you?

This especially applies to Feyre because people in this fandom expects her to ALWAYS do right by people. No matter if said person has hurt her in terrible ways. She isn’t allowed to be a bitch or dislike even her abusers and if she does then it’s “she’s just an unreliable narrator and she’s painting people out to be in a bad light to victimize herself”. It’s kind of insane how even Feyre not having positive thoughts about the people who literally abused her is somehow twisted back onto her. “She victimizes herself” no she’s actually just a fucking victim.

[nestaismommy]

Nestas experienced far less than everyone else has and has barely ever done anything, trust me when I say Feyre and other characters have a way more complex storyline 😂 Just because they aren’t mean and lash out at others doesn’t mean they aren’t “VERY” complex

ACOTAR series spoilers.

Y’all say this but I promise you, if you experienced even half of the things Nesta went through, you wouldn’t even be able to handle it. She has experienced trauma ever since she was a CHILD. She was abused & controlled by her mother and grandmother. Then she had to experience her mom’s death. Oh and she was neglected her whole life by her parents. Then poverty. Then her father’s death right in front of her. Oh and she was sexually assaulted. Then dumped into the cauldron (imagine how fucking scary it is to get taken from your home & dumped inside this ancient thing where it’s dark and freezing) and being turned into something she hated which, lead to her hating herself even more. Then, locked up and getting her choices taken away from her AGAIN. Not because she didn’t go through 19282992938 years of trauma, doesn’t mean her trauma is less worse than others. Trauma is still trauma. All of THAT is horrible. And if you have never experienced what she went through, then you have NO right to talk about how bad trauma is. Because trust me, it’s horrible. It’s like you’re comparing someone who went through SA to someone who was abused as a child. They are BOTH horrible. And by the way, everyone has different trauma responses. You can’t control how your trauma makes you feel, especially if you’ve experienced it as a child. Especially when you’ve always been treated with so much cruelty, you tend to become cruel too because that’s the only thing you know. And let’s not forget that POVERTY can change you a lot. And I never said Nesta was more complex than the others because she’s rude. Let’s not make shit up.

Nesta has done A LOT. She has done MORE than enough. She was the only person who went looking for Feyre when Tamlin took her. She then proceeded to tell Feyre to stay with Tamlin and to never come back. She HELPED the inner circle even though all they did was judge her when she did NOTHING to them (except for Feyre. She’s the only one who deserves an apology). In the high lords meeting, she opened up about what happened to her to help them. This woman shielded Cassian’s body, and was ready to die WITH him. She helped kill the king of Hybren (thanks Elain), she went on the suicidal missions the inner circle couldn’t go to etc. and let’s not forget how her WHOLE life she did everything she could to protect Elain. That woman stood in front Elain when the three huge Illyrian showed up KNOWING she doesn’t have a chance against them. And she then, gave up her powers to save Feyre. And Yk what? Feysand should’ve stayed dead. Literally the thing that I hated the most about ACOSF is what Nesta did for them. But either way, she is BRAVE. And even when she’s afraid, she doesn’t show it.

I always say that the people who hate Nesta are valid because she was in fact, shitty. Feyre didn’t deserve to be treated that way. But let’s not act like the others didn’t do worse. Y’all will do anything to defend abusers & assaulters like your life depends on it but when someone is mean, you invalidate their trauma and act like they insulted your mom. It’s ok to hate them but why invalidate their trauma? And it’s so funny how people say the others went through “worse” when actually, Nesta’s trauma & problems are pretty similar to the other characters. Especially Rhysand. Nesta was SA’d, she was willing to use her body when she was like 14, and Rhysand did the same UTM. Rhysand’s sister & mom died, Nesta’s father & mom died. She also watched her sister get thrown into the cauldron. Rhysand watched his mate die & was ready to die with her, and Nesta almost watched Cassian die & she was gonna die with him. Nesta hides behind a mask, Rhysand hides behind a mask. Rhysand hates himself, Nesta hates herself. Cassian’s mom was murdered, Nesta’s father was murdered in front of her. So her problems are actually pretty similar to theirs.

Also let’s not forget that we got multiple books about Feyre but we only got ONE book about Nesta. I don’t think her story ended yet. And I’m hoping it didn’t, because her book was shit.

Overall, this is my opinion. If you disagree then too bad.

[starbornvalkyrie]

ACOSF USA BOOK TOUR NOTES

Hey y’all! I just attended the LiveTalks Los Angeles event with Sarah J Maas and Eva Chen!! I took lots of notes so I wanted to share them with you all! They’re a little incoherent on the page, so it might seem a crazy, they jumped topics a lot. Feel free to chat with me about what she talked about! But first.

MY RULES:

NO SHIP OR CHARACTER SLANDERING. I know that we all may have different opinions. I will not offer my opinions here, this is purely informational for those of you who did not have the opportunity to attend this event.

PLEASE NO ARGUING IN MY COMMENTS OR ASK BOX WITH ME OR ANYONE ELSE WHO COMMENTS

Acknowledge that I am not perfect and may not have written down everything perfectly. I did my best while still trying to enjoy the event.

I AM NOT SARAH J MAAS AND CANNOT INTERPRET WHAT SHE MEANS

I’m tagging this with #acosf spoilers and #acosfspoilers just in case.

If you understand and can abide by these rules, keep reading below the cut, and enjoy!

SJM said it was weird doing this event from her living room where you might be able to hear her dog in the background or her son trying to get into the room.

ACOSF started as a passion project while she was writing ACOWAR! It was never anything she thought she was going to publish. (more on this later)

About reading and writing growing up

in middle school, she read a lot of fantasy

in high school, she didn’t read as much, but wrote A LOT. it became her fixation, almost an obsession.

in college, she only really wrote on vacations (she had a very healthy social life hehehe) but her junior year is when she found her balance between schoolwork, writing, and socializing.

there was no plan B for her!! it was always to be an author. if it didn’t happen right away, she was going to find a job that would get her by until plan A could come to be.

her favorite author growing up was Garth Nix. She longed for books about badass women. She got to meet him and write a blurb to be on one of his books! She cries when she meets her favorite authors.

Talk about character names!

her character names come from everywhere and nowhere

sometimes she’ll just hear a name in her head and think “that’s it!” (Rhys, for example)

she needs to know the name to write the character

if the name doesn’t immediately come to her, she spends a lot of her time on baby name websites and makes lists until it clicks

sometimes the names just... connect. sometimes she doesn’t mean for them to.

it will always be uncommon. never “Frank” lol

Writing about Nesta!

on a “surface level” she loves writing when Nesta comes out to fight. for example, her favorite scene in this aspect to write was the bog scene. As soon as she got to it, it flowed out of her. The final product was almost identical to the first draft. She wrote it in one session, from the terror & tread to the “who am i?” to when she emerged--she went YES. MAJOR Mic Drop moment for her.

going deeper: definitely her overall journey was one of the favorites she’s ever written. From the dark place she’s in at the beginning to the very end. 

Writing about Nesta meant so much to her because of her own mental health. She channeled a lot of her own feelings and went on the journey with Nesta.

it was a lot of “how do you face mental health in a fantasy world without therapy and medication”

it was easy to get into Nesta’s mind but emotionally intense.

ACOSF’S BIG MESSAGE: LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF AND OTHERS. YOU ARE WORTH OF LOVE.

YES there is a book planned for Elain!

As soon as Nesta and Elain came onto the page again in ACOMAF, she knew they’d get their own journey.

Nesta grabbed her by the throat in book 1

She was originally contracted for only the first three books but realized there was more she wanted to explore. Essentially the “what comes next” after ACOWAR in this new world with out the wall.

FUN FACT: while editing ACOMAF/writing ACOWAR, she drunkenly told her editor at the time, “hey guess what happens next?”, and it turned into a two hour conversation about everything she wants to happen for Nesta, Elain, Mor, Azriel, etc. TWO WEEKS LATER, she gets a call saying they want to buy the stories!! Obviously, she said yes.

This allowed her to start planting the Easter eggs for these stories in ACOWAR. She knew she did not want Nesta to be sympathetic at the beginning of the book! But she did not want people to hate her.

She always has one eye on the horizon for future books.

If she could visit one court for a day, which and why?

She LOVES the season Autumn, it’s her favorite. “BUT EVERYONE IN THE AUTUMN COURT IS AN ASSHOLE”. She would want to visit the Autumn Court when no one is there so she can enjoy the beauty of Autumn.

But also she would want to go to the Summer Court because she has a thing for Tarquin but only if it’s not gross and humid.

She would ALSO want to go to the Day Court for Helion and all his libraries.

ESSENTIALLY she would want to go everywhere but Spring because Tamlin sucks and is an asshole lmao.

BEAST FORMS

SJM’s beast form would be something totally not cool or majestic like a sea otter.

Nesta’s beast form would be something terrifying and beautiful like a snow leopard/dragon hybrid, a griffin, or a sphinx. **WANTS SOMEONE TO DRAW THIS**

FUN QUESTIONS

Nesta’s favorite smutty book would be JR Ward’s Black Dagger Brotherhood series. She reads these books for the distraction, of course, but also for the comfort they gave her that everything turns out okay for the characters.

Nesta’s Starbucks order: cappuccino- something simple, nothing with too much sugar or whipped cream. Elain’s would be a Frappe- something delicious and sweet. SJM’s is a flat white, iced or not, but never after 2PM.

SJM usually listens to classical music and movie scores while she writes, but she’s gotten used to write in silence so that she can listen for her son’s shenanigans with Josh.

“Stay Together for the Kids” by Blink 182 semi-inspired the scene when Nesta and Cassian go back to her family’s cottage. She can hardly explain why.

WRITING ADVICE

Write what you love, not what you think you should be writing.

Give yourself permission to suck. Her first drafts are shit and are usually accompanied with an email that says “I know I need to fix this, this and that” lol.

WRITE THE DAMN THING. Vomit on the page!

YOU CAN’T FIX A BLANK PAGE.

Her least favorite part about the publishing process is the first pass of copy edits, those last minute checks and balances. But once it’s off to the printer, it’s not her problem anymore.

She’s every publisher’s worst nightmare because she sends it off to the printer at the LAST possible minute.

For reference: Throne of Glass was finished almost... a year and a half? ...before it hit shelves, but ACOSF was finished this past fall.

MAIN CHARACTER TALK

All of her heroines have a piece of her.

SJM’s personality is a hybrid of Bryce and Nesta.

Feyre and Nesta got most of her in terms of learning to be empowered.

She has to have a connection to them in order to write them. It’s an out of body, method acting experience.

MISCELLANEOUS

She said “CC2 is a year from now.”

She started writing ACOTAR in 2008 before she published TOG.

She loves the story and dynamic of Elizabeth and Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. Cassian is Elizabeth. Nesta is Darcy.

And that’s all I have, folks! Thank you for reading, I hope you got something out of this!

[highqueenofelfhame]

acowar reread thread

so i think i’ll update this post every few chapters unless anything super major happens that i want to immediately react to, that way you get my commentary but i’m not totally flooding and flooding and flooding your feed with a super super long post. i think i’m going to edit it under the cut and reblog it every time it gets updated and i’ll also number every update so it’s easy to find where i left off. if you guys prefer the other way i’ll transition back to the other way for acofas.) this is super fun i’ll start doing this for more books if you’re interested, including books i read for the first time. (after acofas, crescent city is next and it’ll be my first time reading it!)

UPDATES UNDER THE CUT.

1) chapters 1-5 I’ve read up through chapter five and so far my favorite thing is just how DONE feyre is with literally everyone in the spring court. the amount of times she’s had to like look away and not roll her eyes is just hilarious, her dry inner monologue, she just made a comment about having to remind herself to laugh and not strangle tamlin while they were dancing at the summer solstice and it just is so funny to me. 

i miss rhys. but the few times they’ve spoken through the bond is enough to tide me over. he told her he loved her once and i sighed out loud. i’m such trash for this bitch. 

feyre hijacking the summer solstice ceremony is COMEDIC GOLD. like you kNOW ianthe was fuming and furious and trying to save face the best she could but like hats off to feyre man. her character development from book one to where we’re at in book three is fantastic. she’s not a simpering little girl anymore, she’s a bad bitch and she kNOWS she’s a bad bitch and it’s just.. fucking great. 

i also, as much as i don’t want to, feel for lucien A LOT. i think a lot of his behavior is heavily influenced by how he’s been treated by tamlin for most of his life and i feel genuine remorse from him and the fact that he can like tell something is up but isn’t saying anything just shows, to me anyway, how much remorse he’s genuinely feeling. 

also alis knowing that something is up is just a testament to how attentive she is as a faerie and a friend and i really love that about her.

“I was the nightmare” YAS BITCH. FUCKIN YAASSS.

2) chapters 6-10 feyre is so goddamn clever. the entire time she’s bringing down the spring court she’s witty and fierce and clever and really just iS THAT BITCH, HUH? 

i don’t like jurian but the fact that he still has compassion within himself for his kind despite being literally insane for being just AWAKE and aware for like 500 years is... nice and pleasantly surprising because i feel like you wouldn’t think that of him being that he’s siding with hybern so that he thanked feyre when she tried to get the children of the blessed out of there... i don’t know why i’m bringing this up, it’s just something that stuck out to me and that jurian also vouches (to feyre) about rhysand’s character and how decent of a person he found him to be. it’s just very interesting and i feel like speaks leaps and bounds about rhysand as a person. 

feyre pushing tamlin to explode again... just CHEF KISS. like she really thought of everything. she thought of everything to internally make his sentries doubt him and then completely hate them by orchestrating the ianthe vs sentry debacle. she made herself seem very compassionate and kind and and showed tamlin and ianthe for what they were by doing genuinely so little. like all she did was make them show their true colors on their own and it didn’t take tOO much manipulation. idk feyre is just incredible in the spring court. 

forcing ianthe to hurt herself and molding her mind to make her think she’s always afraid is so much better than just outright killing her.. (if i remember from my last read, it doesn’t hold up, but the thought is there and it’s genius) I also think that this shows a lot about feyre and her character because despite everything she couldn’t just leave lucien alone with ianthe and the unwanted advances. she stayed and fought for her friend (and by extension her mate) even when lucien wouldn’t really fight for her and so feyre is just a fuckin real one like... she’s the kind of friend that you want in your corner. 

killing the hybern twins: glorious. such badassery from lucien and feyre both. 

and i think it’s nice that she let lucien come along with her on her journey back to the night court despite maybe not wanting to but i also think that she knew if she left him behind he could get in serious trouble or wind up dead and so again, i think it says a lot about her character as a person. 

3) chapters 11-15 i’m kind of reading and recapping every 50 pages or so which typically ends up being 4-5 chapters and it’s a good system so far so we’re gonna keep it up! 

the first thing of like, real substance to comment on is lucien saying his father will kill feyre for wielding his power but feyre just responding with “he can get in line.” like her sass is sO GOOD In this book, especially in the spring court chapters.

uhhh big fuck you to eris, i don’t know why people want him to have a redemption arc, he is literally a fat sack of shit that deserves to burn and i’m not sorry for saying so. he’s abusive and cruel and doesn’t deserve like, anything at all. although i will say good on him for balking a bit when feyre revealed she’s high lady. 

CASSIAN AND AZRIEL SUPERHERO LANDING ON THE ICE AND KICKING ASS!! I remember vividly the relief i felt when cassian showed up and was able to fly and i still felt so much victory when it happened again. it’s one of my favorite moments of the book so far and just really gets me. also feyre just dropping the “I’m high lady of the night court” bomb is DELICIOUS and i can’t get enough. i read it like six times. because you know as soon as the illyrians yielded to her that the autumn bitches were like “shit.”

“My love.” kILLS ME. you guys, i’ve only read this book once but i’ve reread their reuniting multiple times because it’s just so soft. rhys is so goddamn soft. he loves her so fucking much. i want rhys to call me my love and lick my tears away. goddamn. 

something i think about a lot is how in acotar when tamlin had feyre alone after months of torture he just tried to fuck her despite knowing things weren’t safe. however, knowing she was home and safe, rhys didn’t try for that immediately. like yes, they kissed, but there was so much conversation before they fucked that it just, says a lot about their relationship. tamlin also always demanded to know everything about feyre’s visits as soon as she was back, not even bothering to kiss her hello but rhys was like ‘that shit can wait’ AND THEY’RE ABOUT TO GO TO WAR. rhys loves her so wholly that he wanted to make sure she was okay before he ever bothered to ask about the spring court and how everything unfolded the last few weeks. idk i’m trash for rhysand, y’all. let’s make that a shirt.

the way that rhys threatens lucien, “i won’t bother to explain it again, and i will rip out your fucking throat.” is so sexy. like how casual it was, so sexy.#ripmythroatoutrhysand

amren being a bedtime story but irl is just a cranky aunt lmao.

nesta’s ferocity is, yes, frustrating, but also so heartbreaking to me. for a very long time i had a really rough relationship with my sister and i can see my own sister in nesta (who, by the way, would murder me if she found out i said this so, kara, if u see this, i love u endlessly and i love nesta with my whole heart) especially nesta’s behavior more so in acofas which i’ll talk more about when we get there. but i just, i feel for her man. she’s been traumatized and life as she knows it has been ripped away from her and some people respond to trauma with bite. and i know it doesn’t make it right or okay but it still just makes me feel for her.

cassian and nesta’s banter just gODDAMMIT SLAYS ME. i cannot wait for an entire fucking book of this shit and an entire book of their back and forth. i think nesta loves him and doesn’t know what to do with it because she’s scared so she’s acting like a cornered animal. like nesta is a snake that will strike when cornered and threatened and i just god i can’t wait for their book. 

elain... broke my heart a lot more than i remembered. as someone in the midst of my worst depression i find myself able to relate to that hollow and empty feeling like...all too well and it struck a cord and i almost cried at how empty she was. 

4) chapters 16-29 there is the whole meeting at amren’s apartment and cassian defends nesta, saying that he understands her actions, her snark, why she is the way she is, and it just honestly reinforces my love for cassian. i don’t have much to say about it but that i just really love the respect that he has for others. more cassian things: feyre brings up again how even broken and literally bleeding out and on the ground with his wings completely shredded he was still crawling toward nesta and reaching for her and trying to get to her. “because i can’t stay away.” fucking cracks my heart open every time. 

i love everything about the first family dinner back together. i love all the banter, i love that nesta sat in and even contributed to dinner conversation a little bit. lucien being so uncertain of the dynamic is hilarious. amren like opening herself up in a way to nesta and telling her that they’re the same, and to make sure her eruption is felt across worlds, i love it. i’m marking a lot more from amren than i thought i would. cassian at one point, he points to az and says “don’t try to blend into the shadows” and it actually made me chuckle to myself because hE DOES THAT. and it’s funny that cassian calls him on it. 

i don’t think nesta gets enough credit (for like anything, we all been knew i’m a slut for her and stan her with my life) but even as broken and angry as she was she did still offer to help explore magic that she doesn’t want and got as a result of trauma so that she can try to help. she isn’t completely useless. and i like that she has backbone and isn’t just a pushover little bitch. (that isn’t directed toward elain. like i previously mentioned, i’m finding that i relate a lot to her in her current state.) i just mean that i’m glad she sticks up for herself and doesn’t just like, do what people tell her to do. ya know?

rhys being so open to feyre pushing back on him about things like, again man. tamlin erupted and got angry, rhys is like “hell, i deserved it.” just, the differences in their relationships and the toxicity that comes from tamlin and the devotion rhys has for feyre is (say it with me) DELICIOUS.

i also like that just because feyre is high lady that the IC doesn’t just like flop over and bend down and take shit (i’m looking at you, spring court.) like cassian isn’t afraid to be like “you pissed me off by sacrificing yourself.” because he cares. LIKE, AGAIN WITH HIS DEVOTION. his loyalty is just so pure. it isn’t blind but it is pure and i just, god i love it. 

also everyone forgets that azriel has a dry ass sense of humor and i don’t see any of y’all writing it into your fics. “In order to fly, you’ll need wings” he said drily. IT’S DELICIOUS. dry humor is some of the best. and i like that feyre is learning more and getting to spend more time with him. 

5) chapter 20-27 this one will be a bit of a dump because i accidentally read too much today so far to try to catch up from my lack of reading yesterday so... oops. 

“Let’s see what names you call me when my head is between your legs, Feyre darling.” ugh. i wish a mans would say that to me. not really. i wish rhys would say that to me and only rhys. maybe rowan. or aaron warner. or cassian. or -- you get it. 

amren is SO FUCKING FUNNY without doing it on purpose. like genuinely hilarious. “she’s fine. stubborn as an ass, but as you’re related, i’m not surprised.” rOAST THEM. also amren makes nesta almost smile and she makes her laugh all in the span of like ten seconds AND nesta almost smiles when amren brings up cassian. coincidencE? i tHINK NOT.

again with rhys soothing her nightmares. like god it’s so good i dont even have to say anything else abt it.

feyre realizing that the bone carver is her and rhysand’s son. SO GOOD. like SERIOUSLY SO GOOD. and this doesn’t matter at all rn but i think that rhysand’s son has the potential to be more powerful than even him but that’s a thing to get into for another time.

EVERYTHING THE BONE CARVER SAYS ABOUT NESTA. also that it’s directed at cassian is very interesting and i think the bone carver knows they’re mates. like i wonder if cassian is seeing what feyre sees: his own son. WOULDN’T THAT BE INTERESTING. “How she calls to you.” also the comment about “what did you wake that day in hybern, prince of bastards?” what did cassian wake. the wording here is interesting and i have... a lot of questions. does anyone else just also really fucking enjoy the bone carver as a character? like he’s excellent i’ve never read anything quite like him.

“nothing about nesta could frighten me” UGH MY NESSIAN HEART CAN’T FUCKING TAKE IT.

also cassian stepping it later when nesta is furious with rhysand about the flying. like, one when he sighs and says she’ll never fly again is just... funny and adorable but how nesta was charging for rhys and he casually stepped in front of her and he talked her down. “It was amren’s fault, of course, but no one believed me. and no on dare banish her.” like just babbling a bit to bring her back down to earth. absolutely fascinating and delicious that it worked, wouldn’t you agree? ;)

court of nightmares is always a pleasure. fuck eris. 

also later at the town house when amren and mor and rhys are kinda going at it a bit and cassian gets nesta’s attention and nesta sidles over to him without questioning it... like. god if they aren’t endgame i’ll never read an SJM book ever again and i wholeheartedly mean that.

so i’ve seen the posts about amren being an angel i’m not sure if you guys have but yeah i think that’s a really solid theory. i think she very well could be a biblical angel because she mentioned that according to some they were perfect, that they laid waste to twin cities (sodom & gamorrah if this theory is correct) and she also mentioned yielding her grace and that she would fall. she also says she was a messenger and soldier assassin for a wrathful god ruling a young world and all of that, in my opinion, lines up with a lot of what is in the bible and what christians believe to be true. so i really really like this theory, i doubt it will ever be outright confirmed, but i think this is going to be my canon tbh. 

elain is.... out of her mind. it’s fucking weird everything she says is so cryptic and odd. like it’s just weird. i don’t think she’s insane and i can’t remember exactly where elain’s storyline goes in this book but like... rn it’s just weird and cryptic and a little unsettling and also interesting that she only really responds directly to azriel because everyone else she kinda ignores but she talks to him. interesting. 

6) chapters 28-49 clearly i accidentally read A LOT so we have a lOT Of ground to cover. 

NESTA WAS TOTALLY CHECKING CASSIAN OUT AND THAT’S ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT.

azriel has fucking jokes, man. page 303 (hardcover us edition)  “That pine tree wasn’t there a moment ago.” “Judging by its size, i’d say it’s been there for ... two hundred years at least.” feyre even notes that he has a dry sense of humor and it comes out more when they’re alone. i can’t get enough of it. i wish he talked more. 

“Cassian finished the muffin, licking his fingers. I could have sworn nesta watched the entire thing with a sidelong glance. He grinned at her as if he knew it too.” i just love nessian so much i’m going to point out all of their cute reactions this is turning more into a nessian reaction thread SUE ME.

I think that nesta has a lot of regret and guilt over her life.over how she treated feyre because it comes out when nesta brings up to feyre that she didn’t know she couldn’t read (and again at the high lords meeting when she says they would have starved if it wasn’t for her.) i think she feels deeply and just doesn’t know what to do with it, doesn’t know how to express it. 

When they almost get taken in the library, and cassian gets there and nesta “launches herself at him.” my heart. she was scared and she didn’t care she was just so relieved. like fuck me up that’s the shit i like.

nesta asking where cassian is the moment they get back from the battle in adriata and she was worried and scared for him. later when she does see him i think this is when the mating bond clicks into place. it’s page 398 and she says “You didn’t come to -” and then cuts herself off. they have a really fucking intense moment. cassian takes her hand and laces their fingers and they don’t really say anything for a beat until he says “Next time, emissary, i’ll come say hello.” but his voice is low and rough when he says it. “The world seemed to go utterly still at that interrupted sentence, nothing and no one more so than cassian.” i think this is when it clicks for him. maybe not for nesta but definitely for cassian. 

RHYSAND RIPPING TAMLIN’S ABILITY TO SPEAK AWAY LIKE YES WE STAN A MOTHERFUCKING KING. fuck tamlin. fuck eris. and fuck beron. also nesta defending cassian in the high lords meeting (page 438, because beron calls him a bastard.) again, i’m just saying, she’s defending her fucking mate i can’t deal. feyre also exploding in the meeting and rhys just being like “You’ve proved your point, my love.” SO DELICIOUS. “I made her high lady because i love her. her power was the last thing i considered.” like fucking hELL that is how you treat your woman.

after the meeting, helion being like “You handing eris’s ass to him will be my new fantasy at night, by the way.” DELICIOUS. fucking hilarious. 10/10 recommend helion as a high lord and a mans we love to see it. 

also cassian being so concerned when nesta starts to have that feeling about the cauldron being used before the wall gets shattered.he didn’t doubt her feelings for a second, i mean no one did, but he was completely unyielding when he sensed her fear and immediately looked for any sign of an immediate threat.

nesta saying she’s never worn pants and cassian saying “i have no doubt you’d start a riot if you did.” he’s thinking bout that ass. also cassian giving her a quick lesson in defense before they yeet off to the human lands to see graysen and his family. IDK I REALLY LOVE NESSIAN OKAY?!

7) chapter 50-the end. i accidentally finished the book. oops. 

super intersted in nesta’s powers and if she is a witch. i can’t remember acofas at all and if nesta’s powers manifest in that book but i’m eager to see if the fracturing of the cauldron didn’t effect whatever powers she took from it. i think that could also be part of what ultimately is wrong with her on top of all the trauma. 

nesta helping cassian after that first battle when his wrist is hurt. she didn’t take no for an answer and helped him and it was just really soft until mor showed up and cassian pulled his hand away. i’m conflicted about what it means to be totally honest. what it means for his feelings for nesta and what it means where mor is concerned. i don’t love how morrigan treats nesta and cassian’s... relationship? but i don’t dislike mor. i think she’s dealing and coping and has her reasons that we will likely find out about. 

“Only you can decide what breaks you” is something i’d like to get tattooed. i dont really have anything else to add to it. 

i was sobbing during rhys’s battle speech to everyone. i dont rlly have anything else to say about it other than i’m emo. 

nesta saving cassian. again i don’t have shit to say about it other than like it makes me so emotional.  she just started blinding screaming, hoping that he would come. i can’t even begin to think what his death would have done to her.

the bone carver smiling at feyre before he did hits a very specific piece of my heart and i’m not sure why or what but i had chills all over my body. 

cassian telling rhys to let him return the favor/repay the debt. HURT. another thing i cried over. like shut the fuck cassian AIN’T NOBODY DYIN TODAY. 

tHE Nessian moment to end all nessian moments when they would die together. like big fucking wow. you can’t tell me they’re not mates. that they don’t love each other despite how complicated all of it is. like cassian is so soft in the most unique way for her because he knows she bites and he lets her and he bites back and i just think it’s what he needs.

“tell the high lord to leave out a cup for me” AMREN SHUT UP. like fucking christ i teared up then too because i really really love her character. she’s unique and funny and dry and cranky and i just love her so much. 

i’m tired of rhys sacrificing himself. there, i said it. i cried like a fucking baby and of course he woke up being a snarky little shit.

i love the end of this book. i don’t know what i’ll do with myself until january when the next one comes out. i’ll probably go back to the other format for my next read through because it’s easier and less longwinded and i think you guys liked the other way better. anywho, thank you for coming along on this lil journey!!

[captainpercabethforever]

Thoughts of A Court of Wings and Ruin and A Court of Frost and Starlight [OBVIOUSLY SPOILERS]

Wow... A Court of Wings and Ruin was AMAZING....

seeing how much Feyre has grown through the trilogy and then seeing how badass she was at the Spring Court..... honestly, I don’t have any sympathy for Tamlin..... but I’ll get back to him....

and Feyre and Rhysand just melt my heart 24/7.....

and that FINAL BATTLE - HOLY HELL - first of all, that speech Rhys gave talking about how thankful he was to know all of them easily made my bawl - then Bryaxis and the Bone Carver and the Weaver all showed up and that made me want to cry, because of how much Feyre accomplished for the Carver to agree, and her and Rhys surprising each other (awwwwwwww) - then all the allies just kept showing up - including their MORTAL DAD WHO DID NOT DESERVE THAT ENDING - and let me tell you, I thought Amren was betraying them and I was going to curse her name for all eternity, but thankfully no - 

and don’t even get me started on THAT scene........... wtf SJM, WTF -- that scene broke every part of my soul and i was so worried, i am so happy he came back, and was such a smartass about it I LOVE HIM 

AND THAT’S NOT EVEN A COURT OF FROST AND STARLIGHT Y’ALL 

how does SJM manage to fit so damn much into only 229 page

the thing i love the most about SJM and her books is that she is so focused and aware of her character development - like this book didn’t have any action really, but it was still just as interesting as the original trilogy, because there was sooo much about the characters to learn and find out 

also, BIG FAN of the multiple character POVs, and I hope that continues through the next trilogy, because I don’t want to lose Feyre and Rhysand and Morrigan’s POVs, but I am also extremely interested in more Cassian and Nesta POVs 

Feyre and Rhysand, were, once again, the most adorable thing EVER and i LOVE THEM and i WANT what THEY HAVE GODS 

but i also don’t want them to have a child until it is COMPLETELY PEACEFUL AND SAFE for both the kid and Feysand because they don’t need MORE problems 

also..... back to eveyone’s least favourite High Lord, when Rhysand went to the Spring Court to talk to Tamlin, I was starting to feel a little bit bad for him, and was slightly pitying him, but then I went back to ACoMaF and what he did to Rhysand, and all sympathy and pity INSTANTLY VANISHED because he was an absolute ASSHOLE who literally almost single handedly DESTROYED Feyre, both mentally and physically so basically Tamlin can KISS MY ASS - but Rhysand somewhat looking after him at the end was sweeet, ya know my boy Rhys

and also, that scene in the weavers shop? wow, can you say emotional, shit man 

but double back to Feysand because what better way to end this, I absolutely adore them together, words cannot even describe, and the last chapter where they’re in the art gallery was the perfect ending to this novella i truly believe it, and i hope we see a LOT more of Feysand in the next trilogy (as much as I want to meet new characters) 

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But my final thoughts:

I loved this series. I absolutely fell in love with the characters in ways that only happen with my favourite books (Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, Throne of Glass, etc.). 

I still think I slightly prefer the Throne of Glass series, because I like the whole plot and storyline and everything better, but I’m telling you if they were on a scale, it would literally be Throne of Glass: 10 and A Court of Thorns and Roses: 9.99 - like it’s very very close and I just love them both I think it’s more a whatever one I’m currently reading is my favourite, so realistically they are probably pretty much even 

But I also really respect and APPRECIATE the fact that SJM puts so much into her HEROINE LEAD CHARACTERS because it’s what young women and girls deserve - having someone to relate to so much (like I did with both Feyre and Aelin) and seeing them take care of themselves and others, and being able to do it without having to fall back on a male, but also being able to love strongly and freely - IDK i just love it 

So thank you SJM because that was an amazing experience and I can’t wait to reread ACOTAR and read the next trilogy 

PLEASE ANYONE WHO WANTS TO TALK ABOUT ACOTAR OR TOG PLEASE FEEL FREE TO MESSAGE ME BECAUSE I WILL DEFINITELY REPLY AND WOULD LOVE TO TALK ABOUT IT !!!!! :)