#Xultan Matzos

[vodkanrainbows]

Ok so I just drew Xefros gushing over his idol, Xultan Matzos

I'm not sure why, I'm just bored and wanted to draw something

[blaperile]

Hiveswap Episode 1 Reaction Part 22: Xefros’s Hallway + Xefros’s Arena Stickball room

Let's exit Xefros's room.

Woah, he's got a LOT of pictures hanging on his walls! A bunch of himself, with his Lusus and/or with Dammek. Even a picture of what appears to be himself playing arena stickball!

Heh, Dammek would probably living in Terezi's forest, if he really wants to be somewhere with more trees.

Confirmation that Dammek and Xefros are moirails! :D

Wait, they ACTUALLY use "Clover" to describe the ball with number 4? And ha, he was LUCKY. I totally see what they did there.

Anyway, as far as I know (or Google tells me) "clover" is not an actual word used in human culture for that ball, so do they really use The Felt names for all the balls?

Those are some REALLY adorable pictures with his sloth-like Lusus. :3

Come to think of it, what with all these descriptions of Dammek seemingly determining a pretty big part of Xefros's life, it's kind of like how Equius was so bossy with Nepeta and told her what to do.

Maybe it's kind of a standard thing with moirails, maybe especially when one of the two is of a higher caste?

And maybe then Xefros's role is making sure Dammek doesn't go to far with his rebellious actions and doesn't get himself killed doing it? Like, he's Dammek's voice of reason or something. D'aww. :)

RUMPUS ROOM.

Umm. Sorry, but I can only think of the FRUITY RUMPUS ASSHOLE FACTORY right now. xD

Let's go in...

:O

It's Xefros's mancave! So many cool attributes in there... I'm surprised he's even capable of affording them!

TEAM PENANT ==> "Sport of Lords", hehehehe, sneaky. ;)

MIC && TEAM PENANT ==> Oh man, "snowglobes" refers to the 8-ball. Snowglobe. Snowman. Goddammit. xD

And eeeesh, the 8-ball detonates and explodes after a while, kind of like how Snowman was pretty much a bomb for the entire universe if she got killed.

RECESSED TABLETOP ARENA STICKBALL > PLAY ==> Holy shit, I hadn't realized yet how it kind of looks like a pool table, with all its pockets! Daaaaaang.

CUEBAT && BENT SPOON ==> Niiiice, we can take it with us as a weapon! Kind of like Gamzee's juggling clubs. I assume these will definitely come in handy, considering his telekinesis powers aren't that strong.

I wonder if Trolls even know flashlights, or if he's going to think Joey's got a cuebat herself. xD

XULTAN MATZOS POSTER ==> Huh, Xultan Matzos... abundantChewtoys has a good point, what if this guy is Xefros's Ancestor? :O

There doesn't seem to be that much difference between their appearances after all. They've got the same interest, and they're also in conflict with the Heiress, hmmmmmm!

XULTAN MATZOS POSTER && TELEKINESIS ==> Like illegal parts of history he's not supposed to think about... is he referring to The Handmaid? After all, she was an incredibly powerful rustblood as well.

PRO ARENA STICKBALL LEAGUE CREST ==> All balls have different sizes and have their own powers... holy shit, there's pretty much no way those powers aren't inspired by The Felt's powers, right? I imagine that the 4-ball is the smallest, and the 15-ball is the biggest then, hahahaha.

SPLAYSAC > LOOK ==> Oooh, so it's filled with Sopor Slime! :O

I think we've seen other stuff in the Trolls' hives in Homestuck that had these green circles on them, but I never even thought about the fact that it could imply they were filled with Sopor Slime!

That's interesting, so they use it for more than just sleep. Or uh, eating, like Gamzee. :P

SPORTS VAULT && TELEKINESIS ==> Haha, nice, a minigame to open the vault! Kind of like how Joey had to play a Snake minigame earlier.

I guess we'll need to do this later to wake up Xefros's Lusus?

[sharkgothic]

I don’t know much about sports, let alone fictional ones, but hopefully it didn’t turn out too bad.

[jinzlers]

change your password kiddo

[irregodless]

unpopular opinion but lanque and stelsa are the same as dumbledore

[zoiechance]

All Homestuck characters as of Nov 7,2020

This list includes characters from Homestuck,Homestuck^2,Hiveswap,& Friendsim! Please tell me if I missed anyone!

BETA HUMANS John Egbert(ghostyTrickster/ectoBiologist)/Heir of Breath/June Nanna Egbert Rose Lalonde(tentacleTherapist)/Seer of Light>Rosebot Dave Strider(turntechGodhead)/Knight of Time>Davebot Mom Lalonde Bro Strider Jade Harley(gardenGnostic)/Witch of Space/Grimbark Jade Grandpa Harley/Jake Harley/Pa Harley Future Dave>Davesprite fedoraFreak Dad Egbert/pipefan413

ALPHA HUMANS Poppop Crocker Jane Crocker(gustyGumshoe)/Maid of Life Mom Lalonde Bro Strider Roxy Lalonde(tipsyGnostalgic)/Ro-Lal/Rouge of Void Dirk Strider(timaeusTestified)/Di-Stri/Prince of Heart/Ultimate Dirk Nanna English Jake English(golgothasTerror)/Page of Hope Dad Crocker

OTHER HUMANS Colonel Sassacre Harry Anderson Egbert(thespiansGlamor) Tavros Crocker(glutinousGymnast) Yiffany "Yiffy" Longstocking Lalonde Harley Avril Thorpe Imode Kurita Silas P Beauregard III Joey Claire Jude Harley A. Claire

LUSUS B  Crabdad>Crabdadsprite B  Dragon Lusus>Dragonsprite B  Mother Grub>Mothersprite B  Tinkerbull>Tinkerbullsprite B  Goat Lusus/Goatdad>Goatdadsprite B  Bicyclops>Bicyclopsprite B  Pounce de Leon>Pouncesprite B  Ram lusus B  Spidermom>Spidersprite B  Aurthour>Aurthoursprite B  Seahorse Lusus>Seahorsesprite AN  Pyralspite ZOOSMELL/slugmeister CORNIBUSTER

ANCESTOR TROLLS Betty Crocker/Batterwitch/Baroness/Her Imperial Condescension/The Condesce The Signless/Sufferer Neophyte Redglare The Dolorosa The Summoner Grand Highblood/Unknown Subjugglater The Ψiioniic/Helmsman The Disciple The Handmaid Marquise Spinneret Mindfang E%ecutor Darkleer/Expatri8 Orphaner Dualscar

BETA TROLLS Feferi Peixes(cuttlefishCuller)/Witch of Life Karkat Vantis(carcinoGeneticist)/Knight of Blood Terezi Pyrope(gallowsCalibrator)/Seer of Mind Kanaya Maryam(grimAuxiliatrix)/Sylph of Space Tavros Nitram(adiosToreador)/Page of Breath>Tavrosprite Gamzee Makara(terminallyCapricious)/Bard of Rage Sollux Captor(twinArmageddons)/Mage of Doom Nepeta Leijon(arsenicCatnip)/Rogue of Heart>Nepetasprite Aradia Megido(apocalypseArisen)/Maid of Time>Aradiasprite>Aradiabot Vriska Serket(arachnidsGrip)/Thief of Light Equius Zahhak(centaursTesticle)/Heir of Void Eridan Ampora(caligulasAquarium)/Prince of Hope

ALPHA TROLLS Meenah Peixes/Thief of Light Kankri Vantas/Seer of Blood Latula Pyrope/Knight of Mind Porrim Maryam/Maid of Space Rufioh Nitram/Rogue of Breath Kurloz Makara/Prince of Rage Mituna Captor/Heir of Doom Meulin Leijon/Mage of Heart Damara Megido/Witch of Time Aranea Serket/Sylph of Light Horuss Zahhak/Page of Void Cronus Ampora/Bard of Hope

HIVESWAP FRIENDSIM TROLLS Ardata Carmia Diemen Xicali Amisia Erdehn Cirava Hermod Skylla Koriga Bronya Ursama Tagora Gorjek Vikare Ratite Polypa Goezee Zebruh Codakk Elwurd Kuprum & Folykl Remele Namaaq Konyyl Okimaw Tyzias Entykk Chixie Roixmr Azdaja Knelax Chahut Maenad Zebede Tongva Tegiri Kalbur Mallek Adalov Lynera Skalbi Galekh Xigisi Tirona Kasund Boldir Lamati Stelsa Sezyat Marsti Houtek Karako Pierot Charun Krojib Wanshi Adyata Fozzer Velyes Marvus Xoloto Daraya Jonjet Nihkee Moolah Lanque Bombyx Barzum & Baizli

OTHER TROLLS His Honorable Tyranny Mierfa Durgas~fantroll Nektan Whelan~fantroll Vriska "Vrissy" Maryam-Lalonde(adamantGriftress) Swifer Eggmop Cliper Borden Alfonz Motter Ataxia Xefros Tritoh Dammek Trizza Tethis Xultan Matzos Dromed Baktar Cridea Jeevik

SBURB/SGRUB B  Wayward Vagabond/Warweary Villein/The Mayor B  Peregrine Mendicant/Parcel Mistress Black Queen B  Authority Regulator/Aimless Renegade B  White Queen/Windswept Questant Black King B  White King/Writ Keeper Doc Scratch/Mr. Vanilla Milkshake Genesis Frog/Bilious SlickKernel

DENIZENS Typheus Cetus Hephaestus Echidna Hemera Nix Yaldaboth Abraxas

MIDNIGHT CREW B  Spades Slick/Archagent Jack Noir/Scurrilous Straggler/Sovereign Slayer>Bec Noir Clubs Deuce>Courtyard Droll Diamonds Droog>Draconian Dignitary Hearts Boxcars>Hegemonic Brute

THE FELT Itchy Doze Trace Clover Fin Die Crowbar B  Troll's Black Queen/Banished Quasiroyal/Snowman Stitch Sawbuck Matchsticks Eggs Biscuits Quarters Cans

SPRITES Kernelsprite B  Harlequinsprite>Nannasprite B  Crowsprite>Calsprite B  Frogsprite Tavrisprite ARquiusprite Erisolsprite Fefetasprite Jasprosesprite^2 Davepetasprite^2 Gcatavrosprite

ROBOTS Con-Air Bunny/Wizard Bunny>Knitted Bunny/Indiana Jones Bunny>Weapon Bunny/Liv Tyler/Mr. Terry Kiser A  Auto Responder/AR/Lil' Hal Huggy Bear/Lil Sebastian A  Brobot A  Squarewave/Zillywave A  Sawtooth/Sawhoo

ANIMALS Jaspers/Frigglish>Jaspersprite B  Bequerel>Beqsprite>Jadesprite Firefly/Serenity/Dr. Blinkbottom/Twinkly Herbert A  G Cat/God Cat B  Casey/Viceroy Bubbles Von Salamancer B  Maplehoof B  Vodka Mutini/Dr. Meowgon Spengler Halley Tesseract The Lone Gunbirds(Frohike,Langly,& Byers)

HORRORTERRORS Fluthlu Nrub'yiglith Oglogoth Gl'bgolyb

CHERUBS Caliborn(undyingUmbrage)>Lord English Calliope(uranianUmbra) Alternate Calliope/Possessed Jade

OTHER Lil' Cal MSPA Reader Ms. Paint Andrew Hussie/Hussiebot A  Jake’s Brain Dirk

[homestuckexamination]

I think Xefros might be a trans boy. His quirk picks out X (chromosome) & "trans" syllables (literally meaning "cross", i.e. X, but it can be more than one thing). Doc Scratch has never contacted a boy before as far as I know, but chose to contact him with the Scratchware over Joey; being part of a notoriously misogynistic & gender-essentialist villain, Scratch likely wouldn't respect identities. (It's also possible Joey's protected somehow, maybe by A. Claire if she's alive on Alternia?) [cont]

[cont] It's hard to tell from the poster in the games room, but if the bobblehead in the car in Nikhee's route is Xultan Matzos, he has the same horns as Xefros but a different caste name. Depending on how caste names are assigned, that could be a thing with him being an opposite-assigned-sex ancestor? Like, Matzos is the name assigned to male grubs with whatever criterion and Tritoh the females? I don't know, this part of the theory is kind of crack, but we know so little about them...

Hmm, I don’t think Xultan is necessarily Xefros’ Ancestor but just a figure he looks up to. The rest though? Trans Xefros Real...

[albapuella]

Breaking Point

AO3 Link

Fandom: Hiveswap Characters: Xefros Tags: Minor Spoilers for Act 1, Angst, Second Person POV Summary: “It is foolish of you to keep hoping. You know what the future holds for you.” or Xefros comes to grips with certain realities about his future. Notes: I posted this originally in January, and seeing as Hiveswap Act 2 is coming for us soon, I thought it might be worth bringing this one out again in a new post. Enjoy!

You are Xefros Tritoh, and the realization that you will never make it to the big leagues isn't something which comes to you all at once. Rather, it has been a series of smaller understandings which have finally combined together into a hot, frothing boil. The tryouts for the Thrashthrust Junior League are coming up, and you know that your Arena Stickball game is getting rusty. Between band practice with Tetrarch Dammek, revolutionary lectures with Tetrarch Dammek, and butling practice (mostly for Tetrarch Dammek), you don't have much time for anything else.

Time isn't the only problem, of course, or even the main one. Your powers of telekinesis are pitiful, too—the only thing saving you out on the field currently is your, admittedly, impressive physical strength, but you can't depend on that forever. The best Pushers don't rely on pure brute strength like you do. How can you ever hope to reach the level of your hero, Xultan Matzos, without the mental powers to match?

You can't, and it is foolish of you to keep hoping.

Besides, you know what the future holds for you.

The butler's uniform you'd ordered sweeps ago has finally arrived. You pull it out of the box, a sick feeling of finality settling in your acid tubes as you stare down at the glossy black material. These are the nicest clothes you own now. They are certainly the most expensive you own—they'd cost even more than the Arena Stickball gear you'd purchased.

You notice suddenly that you are holding the uniform too tightly, the fabric straining beneath your claws, and you loosen your grip to check the garment for damage. Luckily for you, you've only left wrinkles and not rips. You hate the sense of relief you'd felt, and you throw the uniform back into the box with a curse that would have made Dammek proud.

Hands clenching into tight fists, your ganderbulbs cast about your respite block, landing on your waregrid study scroll, and a low growl leaves your chug tube. You step towards it before stopping, shaking your head. No. No. The study scroll isn't the most expensive thing you've had to purchase to study for your assigned career, but it's expensive enough to be painful to replace. You've had this same conversation with yourself in the past, when you've had idle fantasies of taking your cuebat to the lot of your butling materials, but you've never felt this close to actually going through with it before.

You need to calm down before you do anything you'll wish you could take back, and you know just where to go.

Except, in your current mood, the Arena Stickball theme of your rumpus room is just another slap in the face: another reminder of what you can never have. There just isn't enough time, and you aren't good enough anyway. Even if you suddenly had all the time on Alternia, you'd still never be good enough. Here you are, standing in the middle of your rumpus room, about to bawl like a wiggler because you've finally been forced to face facts.

You want to call your moirail. More than anything. You need him here to keep you from falling apart. But you already know what the Tetrarch thinks of Arena Stickball—it's just a dumb game, a waste of time. And coming over to your hive to comfort you about not ever being good enough to reach the heights of your athletic fantasies out in the field would be an even greater waste of time. He has much more important work to be doing—for the band, for the rebellion, for whatever else—, and the worst part is you know it's true: he does have more important things to do than coddle you about Arena Stickball.

Even if you call him and he does come, what good will it do? There isn't anything to be done: there just isn't time to devote to Arena Stickball to remain competitive, and your telekinetic powers aren't good enough for it anyway. You're destined to be a gutterblood nobody butler no one is ever going to remember. Worthless.

You hear a faint rattling from your Bobblenug figure collection, and you turn your head towards them, realizing you'd lost control of your telekinesis. For another burgundy blood, losing control of their telekinesis could be dangerous, but for you? You have barely the impact of a gentle breeze. The figures rattle again, their heads nodding in agreement. Your lip curls over your fangs, and you're not smiling. Your claws are buried into your palms—if not for the thick callouses there, you're certain you would be bleeding by now. Your physical strength is, as mentioned previously, impressive. About the only impressive thing about you.

The Bobblenugs nod again, passing their rattling judgment on you. And they would know, being the best players who'd ever stepped onto the velvet, just how lacking you are. Just how much of an idiot you are to ever have believed you could have joined their ranks.

You don't even remember grabbing the cuebat, but it's in your hands, and you're bringing it down on the collection of nodding heads. You only swing three times, but your cuebat packs a wallop when wielded by you (even if it's not chalked up first), and the damage is done. Little bits of plastic trolls litter the floor along with large parts of a broken shelving unit.

You wedge the cuebat back into its stand, a little too roughly, but you're in a daze now. Your anger is spent, leaving nothing but emptiness behind. The splaysack is inviting, and you sink onto it, the proximal comfort of the soper enveloping you. Time passes and you don't notice. You don't think. You just stare ahead of you. When you finally come back to yourself, hours have passed.

The casualties are many. You recognize them all as you clean up the mess. Each player you look up to, each treasure you added to your collection over the sweeps. You're not looking through the mess for anything salvageable as you pick up the remains—you don't want confirmation. What you see already is enough to upset you.

However, when all is said and done, one is missing. You know you haven't picked it up yet: while you weren't looking for it, you were looking for it and hadn't seen it. You're about to give up when you notice light play off of something under the Table Arena Stickball. Bending down, you reach for the object, your blood pusher working hard in your chest.

Xultan Matzos grins up at you, proud and determined. You laugh, feeling tears in your ganderbulbs. Of course, it'd take more than a few swings with a cuebat to take him out. You feel almost foolish, how glad you are that he's in one piece. Gingerly, you set him on the TV stand along with the other survivor, Dromed Baktar. You'll have to rebuild the shelf so they can return to their proper places, but you're still feeling worn out. Tomorrow, you'll take care of this.

As for the rest... You feel Xultan Matzos behind your shoulder, believing in you. FIN Notes: CUEBAT + BOBBLENUGS "Yeah, you've, uh, gone down that road before. You used to have a lot more of these."

[snowtimeisbesttime]

Thoughts and questions (remix) on Friendsim Volume 13.

Boldir:

-THE SONG FROM THE TRAILER!!!! // Old Secret Hype Babey!!! We'll finally get to hear it in full and in context (+ getting it in the soundtrack!) in Act 2, and I personally can't wait!

-Boldir’s outfit under the Coat of Gun seems to be a white robe, and she has both a calming aura and a “hiding” aura… might she really be a limeblood in disguise?

-And yet more implications that the MC being on Alternia might be a Big Thing.

-Regarding paradoxes, we already know of one: our resident Leiborn, Charun Krojib.

-What does Boldir know for someone to want her dead so badly??? and WHO THE FUCK wants to kill her??? Doc Scratch?? // looks like it. In her cameo in Vriska's PQ route, highly implied to be her astral projecting into MSPAR's mind, she basically has to be pulled back by force and puppet strings by Scratch, and she still manages to reassure them of their real power to change stuff for the better despite that; if she can pull off that stuff and Knows he's out there, it's no wonder he's trying to get rid of her.

-I feel she knew that she was going to die… she wanted to talk to the MC before the end, and she did stand out in the open in her bad end…

-By the way, what exactly happened in her bad end? Did the MC somehow become aware of all the different routes where someone bit it? Also Who talked at the very end??? // if Scratch is actively trying to kill her, but her death breaks reality... was that MSPAR's doing? The breaking reality bit of course, perhaps subconsciously ensuring that she Would Not die that day... they do go on to become the Guardian of a Locked Timeline after Pesterquest... o shit does that mean they finally can reach a version of their friendsim pals???

-(she was sitting in the middle of a spiral when we found her…)

-Boldir knows (and hates) Ardata… from where, we don’t know yet. (ardata did have “probably vriska” in her troll call, and we all know what was vriska’s main source of information… before it blew up in her face and took her arm and eye, that is. Oh would you look at that it’s Time To Hope I’m Wrong About This!) // with Ardata losing that particular bulletpoint, only time will tell what will come out of them knowing each other...

-Regarding Boldir being Heartbound… if she’s looking into the green moon and Scratch, she might know something about SGRUB (and its inevitability), and the events of Hiveswap probably being meant to set the scene for it – which may be why she said that she’s not important (she is wrong, btw. she IS important, in my heart.) // Her troll call bulletpoints weren't changed either, just like Tyzias' and Charun's (and Chahut's as well, caprinius rights.)

Stelsa:

-Alternia has acid rain. (why’d you throw out the umbrella mc…..) Luckily it doesn’t seem to melt trolls.

-Stelsa is Tyzias’ mysterious matesprit!!! aaand they’re both workaholics. // no but really... shes never heard of having downtime for hobbies and relaxing and stuff...

-Even if she doesn’t agree with Tyzias’ views, she still wants to cover for her (kinda part and parcel of the whole “hardcore ignoring the problem” thing she does, but regardless) and is concerned for her. And if Tyzias wants Stelsa to acknowledge the rebel stuff, she probably trusts that she won’t rat her out.

-Looks like what Stelsa fears is society breaking down… it’s likely going to happen somewhere down the line, at least a little. Besides that, she doesn’t seem to have that much faith in the hemospectrum. She is Bloodbound, after all; she might join the rebellion, if only for Tyzias.

-Stelsa’s got three bad endings (iirc only Vikare had 3 as well?). Horn touching being an intimate thing is canon.

-Did Remele buy the fucking museum???? (will we ever get to see her webcomic?) Looks like the thing with Trident Media and Tagora went well for her, though… (confirmation that stelsa doesn’t work at the same place as the other teals? one would think this would have come up sometime)

-The MC has what, 3 moirails now?? (Polypa, Chixie, Stelsa)

-“You both yell as the scuttlebuggy nyooms downwards at full tilt.”

-There’s a Xultan Matzos figurine in the car I think!

-Stelsa's new Troll Call bulletpoints also reinforce her Friendsim characterization, particularly her insane amounts of business (as in being insanely busy) and her organizedness, which is good because one of her old bulletpoints only was a response to one of Marvus', which has also been replaced. Her being Troll Jewish has therefore been left out, though there's still a reference to her fashion sense in her new bulletpoints (though differently than the old one, which could be taken to mean that she didn't mind going around dressed in hot pink or that she was originally going to be an accountant).

[catflowerqueen]

I wonder if Xultan Matzos is Xefros’ ancestor. I’m pretty sure they have similarly shaped horns, at least.

[vodkanrainbows]

Best Friends

(I tried to make Xultan look exactly like Xefros but with different hair lol)

[blaperile]

Hiveswap Episode 1 Reaction Part 24: Waking Slothdad

PLAYBOOK && SLAM OR GET CULLED POSTER ==> Pfff, they even acknowledge the ambiguous spelling of Grubbles/Grubbels, hahaha.

PLAYBOOK && LAMP ==> Oh HELL yes. The STITCHer, the TRACEr, the FINisher. I totally love this.

GRUB JUICE && RECUPERACOON ==> Yikes, there really are a lot of negative effects to the Sopor Slime. Seems to me like it was just another way to force obedience and never something they'd naturally need. I mean, the Homestuck Trolls don't seem to be using any Sopor Slime anymore, right? And they're fine now.

PLAYBOOK && GRUBBLES POSTER ==> Oh man, Dammek really doesn't like Xefros playing arena stickball it seems. Perhaps because of how dangerous it is and likely to get Xefros killed, I guess? But still, it's like, the one pleasure Xefros has in life. That's kind of rude of Dammek to try and take that away from him.

I guess you could kind of compare it to how Equius forbid Nepeta from flarping with the other Trolls. Not out of malice, but to keep Nepeta safe.

PLAYBOOK && HUNGER TRUNK ==> Holy fucking shit, arena stickball is an incredibly long game. Two halves of 11 hours, what the shit?

PLAYBOOK && SPORTS VAULT ==> Pfff, so Xefros actually needed this playbook to open the vault. I thought the book detailed the actual game, not the "fake" stuff like the tabletop arena stickball? xD

I love how he crushed a can against his forehead like was mentioned in the narrative a bit earlier that he actually does during arena stickball games.

AUTOTUNE MIC && SLOTH TREATS ==> "slothdad"! Without a capital S like we used in naming him, implying this is an actual part of the narrative! Hell yes. Looks like we came up with the correct name for him. :D

We've got the Sloth Treats now! ...And we can probably go and combine it with each and every item in this hive again. xD

SLOTH TREATS && XULTAN MATZOS POSTER ==> Oh wow, a species name for Slothdad! Glacial treetrudger... well then! Like abundantChewtoys suggests, kind of like a polar bear then? Mix between a sloth and a polar bear? xD

SLOTH TREATS && ARENA STICKBALL CLOTHES ==> Aha, so he keeps the treats in a vault because Slothdad could destroy any other storage place. Makes sense! I'd been wondering why they were stored in such an inconvenient place instead of just in the kitchen, hahahaha.

Huh, that's pretty weird. Apparently you can only interact with those hexagonal discs in the living room when you come from the kitchen, not when you come from upstairs! Weird little bug, haha.

I also only just noticed all those hairs from Slothdad being all over the living room, hahaha!

SLOTH TREATS && SLOTHDAD ==> ...D'aww! Slothdad is incredibly adorable, not just when he's asleep but also when he's awake. :3

Alrighty, we can finally exit!

....WHAT THE SHIT?

Something just... appearified here? What even is that? Some kind of white box?

...

Wait a second. There was dark green energy when that transported here. That's GOTTA be Doc Scratch's doing, right?

It's even totally white like all of Doc Scratch's stuff.

God, what even is Doc Scratch's plan here? Is it really just an elaborate way for him to get the cueball to end up with Rose to have her go grimdark, or is there more going on here?

I guess the question is how much impact the events of Hiveswap are going to have on Alternian society and what the situation is where the Homestuck Trolls would grow up in.

[wakraya]

Okay I’m going to try not to actively engage in Lanquecourse this time around. I’ll respond to stuff from time to time I’m sure because hoo boy there is a LOT to unpack, but now that it’s morning, after the shock of everything yesterday, I have a few things to say.

vV Obvious Friendsim Spoilers! Lanque’s Route! Vv

First of all, let me say, I was worried about Lanque, and I was worried about him in many ways. He was one of the most awaited characters, he is trans, there was already discourse about him, basically he was just a ticking time bomb that could disappoint in many, many ways. I worried that the Fandom backlash from last time would make the Writers write him extremely safely, I worried that the writers would try to include something explicit about him being trans that could fall flat with the fans, I worried that if he wasn’t perfect in every way there would be more discourse. But honestly?

What they did for him exceeded any and all expectations of him. They could’ve gone many ways developing him, they could’ve done this in many ways, but what they opted to do was do meta commentary on exactly the things I was worried about him and his route.

I would’ve liked some comment about him being trans, yeah, but what we got was an immensely interesting commentary on Fandom Reaction to Lanque, Fandom Purity, and the general absurdity of the Friendsims and a few Homestuck/Hiveswap themes, while also having genuinely entertaining stuff and character development. 

First of all, the Valid Route. Already at that point the 4th Wall had been shattered to pieces, and we had literally gotten an in-setting 18+ warning. Deciding to not delve into the more crude themes led us to a poetry session with a very kind and gentle Lanque- Now first of all, while this one is OBVIOUSLY a reference to character woobification and purity stuff, I don’t think it’s ALSO 100% untrue. Lanque is stated to be an occasional poet, and while his gentle demeanor makes us empathize with him more here, his poem is long-winded and melodramatic and you can bet your ass Lanque does write that kind of monology stuff. The Flower Crown was fantastic, as many people have pointed out, with stuff like, True Crime Fandom putting it on serial killers and generally downplaying unsavory traits of characters to make them softer and more Fandom-friendly, it becomes a symbol of the softness the route portrays him with. He becomes the ‘perfect baby’ a lot of people seemed to want him to be, 100% unproblematic, and it’s really a fantastic but harmless jab at that kind of stuff. Sure, it’s making fun of it, but it’s also 100% going along with it as a good ending and development for Lynera, honestly. It’s his ‘gentle side’ as the achievement puts it. It’s played up for the route with the purpose of Fandom Commentary, but it’s still part of him.

Lynera too, hoo boy, that moment when you ask her if she likes Lanque and she responds to it like “No! I liked a girl before, it’d be problematic if I did, lol.” A lot of people are salty about this, and I can understand that, but that’s honestly such a raw take against bi erasure and militant pushing of some headcanons by some people. Like, if you headcanon some characters as gay or lesbian and even if you see some attraction as forced heteronormativity and don’t feel they count, that’s a 100% valid take and it’s exactly how I feel about Rose. But also there’s been huge amounts of discourse and, as per usual these days, bullying and death threats loaded from that kind of forceful headcanoning, and having Lynera drop that line instantly killed me. Ultimately, the route ends up in a ‘Valid’ end, and, even with how meta it is and how it toys with these themes, it’s still totally valid to unironically like this route.

But the other one. Oh my stars the other one.

First, starting with Ardata preempting the discourse and laughing about not mentioning the party is too problematic in social media was fucking amazing, and alongside the commentary by Hussie about how talk about controversial topics are part of the experience, it makes me feel less “Oh god why” about this Discourse, and more strongly about how this is... Very much exactly what the Team expected would happen with this route. It’s like, embracing the train wreck.

So let’s cut the chase.

Lanque is sexual and crude and a total asshole. I’ve seen a lot of people confused about the two Lanques and how it seems like another Fozzer thing, but as I mentioned before, the Soft Lanque route is very much meta-commentary. Some of it may be true to his nature, what with him playing with Wanshi and writing poetry, but THIS seems to be the facade to puts on when he’s out partying and seems to embrace more canonically. Casanova, go-getter, pushy, Marvus was apparently written to be ‘that one hookup  you regret’ but honestly Lanque is that 100x times.

He calls out Lynera and makes her cry, he gets uncomfortably grindy with you and offers you drugs, there’s no sugarcoating it, he’s nasty, but also, he does cede when you refuse the drugs, and he does ask you about the kiss and sex. Like, he’s pushy and bad, like Kevin from SU, but he’s also not a scumbag that would force you or trick you. He’s very blatantly there to have sex, and he’s there to have sex because as a Jade he’ll be forced not to once he goes off-planet. 

He’s a lot like Daraya in that aspect, except instead of taking nihilism to protect himself, he’s thotting it up in a big party trying to experience something he’ll be forbidden from soon enough.

And I think that’s the beautiful part of it. He’s very sexual and forward, but there’s a clear reason for it, and in the Good End we see him cede and be like, a bit more chill. He also doesn’t attack Bronya back or get angry with you at any point even if he does tease around a lot. Sexual, but not violently so, and I can really appreciate that.

He’s not trans representation- In the fact that he’s not necessarily someone pleasant most people will project themselves onto and be happy, but maybe that is why I like it so much? Because he’s his character first. I would have loved some allusion to trans stuff, but with the rest of the tone of the Friendsim I’m also kind of glad there wasn’t, because I feel it would’ve only fanned the flames, fallen flat somehow. He’s not trans representation, but he is a trans character. It’s just a character who also happens to be trans, and with how Alternia is about gender and sexuality stuff, it also makes sense that there wouldn’t be much of a fuss about it?

He’s also the only confirmed trans guy, yeah, but that doesn’t mean he’s the only trans character. After all, as I mentioned before, Stelsa is Jewish because Cohen didn’t want just Xultan Matzos to be Jewish. That pretty much guarantees there are more characters that are trans we just have not been told about. I do have a big headcanon that Xefros is trans, and if that does turn out to be canon, the main Troll of Hiveswap would be great trans rep! I’d love that. I feel we’re just in too much of an isolated bubble regarding the other characters that will take a part in Hiveswap and the writers’ intent to really get militantly mad that the ‘only trans rep is an awful dude’.

So yeah. This entire route? It was very crude, it gave no fucks and went all meta on us to make commentary about a lot of topics. And I like it precisely because of that.

Oh also the comment making fun of how the Homestuck Characters are all #FFFFFF, both teasing the fact it feels a bit like a cop-out while fully embracing the representation that comes with it, and the bishie Lanque sexy times skip picture? 

I stand this was very interestingly handled, and I have no fear in saying the writers have done an astonishing job at mixing actual plot stuff, meta elements, and social commentary about the Fandom, Homestuck and itself, in a way I think was completely successful.

EDIT: I was talking about trans guys and trans girls specifically, but it’s true, Cirava and Charun do fall under the trans umbrella. They may not be specific rep for trans men, and we have yet to have a confirmed trans girl, but there’s them and they’re both great. So Lanque is not the only confirmed non-cis rep.

^ Spoilers End Here! ^

[abundantchewtoys]

Hiveswap re: Getting past Slothdad, egress hive

Oh, we missed that the discs on his living room table give us options.

TK + DISCS > Oh, so he could erase discs with information. Convenient, for espionage purposes.

SODA + FIGURINES (in play room) > Welp, Xefros had this echoing feeling of loneliness his whole life. Like a form of... abscence, you could say.

SODA + BANNER > "official fan-made" heheheheh.

GUIDE + SLAM OR GET CULLED > Yyyyeah, Xefros DOES have a lot of interests, doesn't he? Stickball, his band, SOGC, rebellion, mandatory butler practice... Hah, I love that they acknowledge the unclear spelling of Grubbels/les in this caption, and what it means.

GUIDE + LAMP > HAahahahah, we get some more insights in to what all the different balls are called and do. "Dozer", "Stitcher", "Tracer", "Finisher", hahahah, these all sound so great!

SODA + RECUPERACOON > Eeesh, the sopor slime is actually so taxing, that badly injured trolls could die from being put into one. D: Who ever came up with this??? If it wasn't a strict biological necessity, as evidenced by Xefros building a tolerance, then it must've come through Doc Scratch, right? Or Condy?

GUIDE + GRUBBELS POSTER > Well then. It appears Dammek sees no appeal at all in stickball, and he's been keeping Xefros off his training with band practice. That's actually a lethal hazard, in case Xefros is on the field and slips up! Not a good moirail move. Maybe he didn't think it all the way through though, and he just didn't want Xefros to put himself in harm's way? Blaperile notes that's what Equius did by forbidding Nepeta to play FLARP.

GUIDE + VAULT > Pfffff, he actually used an official guide to devise the correct "play" to unlock his vault. And got to crush a can on his nugbone! I wonder if we'd have gotten that last scene if we hadn't picked up any cans downstairs!

MIC + SLOTH TREATS > Awesome! This caption confirms that he actually refers to his lusus sometimes as "slothdad", no matter what his "real" name is! Hahah, nice, so we picked the right nickname, in any case. (Can't get over the fact that Zoosmell is a valid ancestor name, though.)

TREATS > GRAB > Oh jeez, we have another bazillion number of combinations to try :D

TREATS + MATZOS POSTER > "GLACIAL TREETRUDGER", huh? So his lusus is actually a giant polar sloth, hahah, awesome. It kind of crossed my mind before, the comparison with a polar bear, with how he's that big and hairy and white. But I thought: all lusii are white, it's a coincidence! :P

TREATS + CLOTHES > Oh, so he keeps the treats in a vault because his lusus would tear into any other hiding spot. quote Well that's a mystery I didn't think etc. unquote. Mystery, solved, I guess.

TREATS + DROMED POSTER > Oh, right, of course the wranglers can't be anything else but bronze-bloods, with their communion powers!

TREATS + MAGS > Heh, so Xefros gets direct mail for sloth treats, because his lusus is so uncommon. Yyyyeah, there's pretty much no way his idol/ancestor didn't have the same one.

... Huh, the discs on the living room table are apparently only clickable when entering the room from the kitchen!! O_O''

Ooooooh, Blaperile just noticed that the entire living room is littered with Slothdad's shedding! I thought before when I saw some around the couch that it was just internal fluff that fell out.

GUIDE + FRIDGE > Eeeeeeeeesh. An arena stickball game lasts 22 hours, aka 11-11, in two halves. Dear god that's brutal in a whole different sense. It's like it's the Hunger games meat quidditch.

FLARP MANUAL + FRIDGE > Pfffff, fivestar general electric. I think that's a rung on John's fridge's echeladder.

TREAT + SLOTHDAD > ... N'aww. So lumbering. Such cute eyes. Such slow munching.

EXIT > ... Oh god. Did Doc Scratch just teleport an ARENA STICKBALL BASE to his backyard? Pffff, is that a hint for what we should do next, to distract any drones in the vicinity? That smug bastard has a certain play going, and we're all the suckers helping it along.

Does he want to dethrone the heiress? Maybe simply so the climate is right so that Karkat can land and grow up in safe obscurity?

[starlightshoe]

IS THAT A XULTAN MATZOS FUNKO POP DID WE JACK XEFROS’ SCUTTLEBUGGY

[roberette]

All Known Trolls (Excluding Scratch Duplicates)

Candy Red: Karkat Vantas Kankri Vantas

Burgundy: Aradia Megido Damara Megido Xefros Tritoh Xultan Matzos Dromed Baktar Diemen Xicali Fozzer Velyes Marsti Houtek

Bronze: Tavros Nitram Rufioh Nitram Dammek Skylla Koriga Vikare Ratite Chixie Roixmr

Gold: Sollux Captor Mituna Captor Zebede Tongva Folykl Darane Kuprum Maxlol Cirava Hermod Azdaja Knelax

Lime:

Olive: Nepeta Leijon Meulin Leijon Charun Krojib Polypa Goezee Boldir Lamati Konyyl Okimaw

Jade: Kanaya Maryam Porrim Maryam Daraya Jonjet Lynera Skalbi Wanshi Adyata Bronya Ursama Lanque Bombyx

Teal: Terezi Pyrope Latula Pyrope Tyzias Entykk Tegiri Kalbur Tirona Kasund Tagora Gorjek Stelsa Sezyat

Cerulean: Vriska Serket Aranea Serket Mierfa Durgas Mallek Adalov ?????? Elwurd Ardata Carmia Remele Namaaq

Indigo: Equius Zahhak Horuss Zahhak Nihkee Moolah Amisia Erdehn Galekh Xigisi Zebruh Codakk

Purple: Gamzee Makara Kurloz Makara Barzum Soleil Baizli Soleil Chahut Maenad Marvus Xoloto Who is This?

Violet: Eridan Ampora Cronus Ampora Nektan Whelan

Fuchsia: Feferi Peixes Meenah Peixes Trizza Tethis