#XDNFFNFFFFFFFF explodes

[taxolotl]

Their lips parted.

Oh, so much dèjá vu

That was it. George turned around immediately refusing to face DreamXD, whose expression had not changed at all. He could feel those all-seeing green eyes pinned on his back.

"Was it bad?" DreamXD remarked, tone as neutral as it could be, as if… as if nothing had just happened.

George threw his hands in the air. It hadn't been bad, it hadn't been good either. It was nothing, that's what it was. It had been just a kiss. He had no idea what he was expecting, a soul-crushing kiss? Something life-changing? It was so quick it had barely been a kiss.

"I don't know," he muttered, "I DON’T KNOW," he said raising his voice. DreamXD took a step back cautiously. He was getting frustrated. What was he even angry at? Was he expecting him to kiss him like he used to? George laughed at his own stupidity.

And now I can feel your love

He turned around to face DreamXD. Sometimes he hated looking at him. The spitting image of… him, yet so distant, so cold, so alarmingly peaceful.

"It's not him, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? It doesn’t feel like him at all," George said, hands shaking as he tried to calm down.

"But... I look like him, I sound like him," DreamXD said faintly.

"THAT DOESN’T MATTER, YOU ARE NOT HIM, OKAY?" George yelled tears running down his cheeks. He didn’t mean to yell. He shouldn’t have yelled. Eyes still watery, he looked up at DreamXD, expecting a fit of rage, a fearful face, or just him gone, having vanished in the wind. But DreamXD just looked… confused, batting those pretty lashes slowly.

"I don't get it." he slowly let out.

George smiled slowly. DreamXD was like that sometimes. An all-knowing creature! To which George had to explain the simplest things. Why do cats meow, why are flowers so pretty, how you can bake bread from scratch instead of spawning it from thin air… In this case, well, a kiss. He sat down on the ground, turned to DreamXD and gestured for him to sit beside him. When he did, George grabbed one end of his cloak and blew his nose with it. DreamXD snatched it back immediately while George laughed, and DreamXD rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have expected you to… to understand or anything. Do you even…? Have you... y’know… you probably haven't-"

DreamXD lowered his head. He seemed to be thinking. Then he smiled. George couldn’t help but notice how beautiful he was. The sun draped along those broad shoulders, highlighting his golden hair and making his freckled skin look like a starry sky. George sighed at such a sight. It was funny how his surroundings changed with him, DreamXD smiled and it all felt warmer, more colourful. DreamXD stared at a blue butterfly resting on his finger that George had not noticed until now.

"I did, once..." he exhaled. George looked at him astonished as if he couldn’t believe DreamXD had loved before. It made sense, he had lived for so long, yet…

"George,” he said pointing a finger at him noticing his surprised look, “gods can feel that way too, we are not so different."

"Okay no, that’s not what I-"

“Wow, you really assumed you were my first kiss? Come on George…”

“NO, I-”

DreamXD giggled and looked at George tilting his head slightly.

"I’m messing with you. God, you look so stupid,” he said lovingly, carefully brushing George’s fringe out of his face, his fingers slightly skimming George’s forehead.

Your temporary touch

“It’s okay,” he dropped his hand to his lap, “Yes George, I fell in love once. I can do that by the way, it happens,” George rolled his eyes, “He was…” His smile started to fade, “He was…”

"What?”

“I don't… I don't remember. I don’t even remember his voice,” George looked at DreamXD’s face. He looked like was struggling to grasp his thoughts, his eyes empty yet full of sorrow. “I just remember what it felt like being around him, holding him close, saying his name. What was his name?"

DreamXD stopped speaking, lost in the thousand thoughts that mind held, while George wondered if he was going to end up living the same tragedy, loving and being hurt. He had already had so much and lost it so quickly. Was it meant to be that way?

It’s a hit and run

"A curious thing, a kiss,” DreamXD interrupted the silence, snapping George back to reality, “humans feel closer to heaven, yet beings from the heavens feel so…human, so vulnerable..."

George took a deep breath. As embarrassing as it was to admit, it used to feel like that. It was as if the shape of his hands had been imprinted into George’s, his scent, his kisses peppered across his cheeks… George shook his head. That was cringe.

You go back there when you’re done

As if DreamXD was reading his thoughts he just said, "Maybe it is meant to be that way. Love being a constant agonizing what if. I don’t understand why, though…”

“Me neither. Maybe it’s about the yearning? I don’t know,” George replied. Yearning… He didn’t like the taste of that word in his mouth. He needed to change the subject quickly.

"What happened to him?" George asked with a voice that didn’t come out as his.

"I wish I could remember George, I don't... I don't know... " he said with a sad sigh.

The sun was setting and to George, it all felt incredibly silly. The way he was talking about boys, like a lovestruck teenage girl, with god himself. George couldn’t repress a smile.

"I haven't felt like that in a while," DreamXD just snatched George’s thoughts from his head and said them out loud. George looked at him, and it all froze for a second. DreamXD was nervously fidgeting with his hands, not looking at George. George grabbed his hands, and those eyes finally met his own.

“I feel that way with you,” once more George thought it and DreamXD whispered it slowly like no one else was meant to hear, just George.

And then he leans in. And he cups George’s face in his hands, and George knows he’s kissing god but it’s surprising how different it feels. It’s nothing like the first time. This is not DreamXD pretending to be him and kissing George to see if he unlocks a memory, or missed him still. It's just him kissing George because he wants to. And it's him. And their noses bump. And they giggle between kisses, and it’s all so perfect, and all thoughts seem to have disappeared, and the only sound George can hear is his own heartbeat.

DreamXD starts to pull away and George’s mouth chases those lips like it’s a need.

Don’t you want some more?

DreamXD is still cupping George’s face in his hand, slowly dragging his thumb along George’s jaw. And George closes his eyes, and he holds DreamXD’s hand in his own. He opens his eyes and meets DreamXD’s smile. It’s a sad little smile that holds all the truths George would have rather ignored. And George hates it, and he wishes he had never opened his eyes. And he doesn’t want DreamXD to speak, he wants to stay there with him in silence. But he says it.

"I love you, George. But you are not mine."