#Writing: Dialus

[hubbery]

Patience

Title: Patience Characters: Inezra Thamus, Dialus Bolrik POV Character: Inezra Thamus POV: First Person, Present Tense Originally written in 2018 for @sleepytrolls.

—

She asks you a million and one questions from the barstool set up at your counter. Sometimes she swivels around with raised arms, or her nails tap against the laminate in time to your strumming. You’re more than a little lost when she asks you what you think of her, and the expression on your face reveals your struggle. 

The guitar has never felt so useless in your hands—and a string snaps. A part of you willing to see the humor in it thinks that tracks, but you don't have the heart to put it down. You need something to hold.

In the silence between words; she stops, she listens, and without hesitation she tells you, "Take your time."

You don't know how long it is before you give her an answer. 

You know the way your voice cracks and your face heats in shame on the first try. You’re intimately familiar with the emotions that surge forth afterwards, the mortification that has your hands clenching and skin pulling taut around your knuckles. The creaking and splintering wood in your hand is secondary. You owe her a response.

“I think I like you.” I think I like you—and you’re surprised that you managed to say it aloud. Your mouth shuts quicker than your eyes do at the ensuing nausea. Took you long enough. You’re thinking it's almost pathetic, and your internal monologue barely has a chance to get worse before you remember you don't really have an in-the-midst-of-schoolfeeding-wrigglerhood-crush to fall back on to compare against this embarrassing level of sincerity. You were too busy being violent to feel much.

Then you’re not thinking about anything at all, words spilling out in a rush while you finger the few unbroken strings your guitar has left. 

"I think about you too much, and I like that you listen and that you sit there and wait out the stops. I like the way you look, and the way you sound, and I'm sorry that sometimes I don't know how to say it in words."

She crosses the distance between you before another hour can pass in silence, peels your trembling fingers from the strings of your guitar and holds your hand like you'd always hoped she would.

[scumscuttlers]

A really normal person who is just an asshole.

— @coralcalypso describing my character, 2024.

Inezra as a character has been around since 7/28/2014. She doesn't have a super long history though because most of what I did have was lost to hard drive failure. So, lol. I ended up reconstructing things pre-2018, and have been trying to flesh her out by interacting with more people.

If you're curious what writing I'm referencing, her writing tag is over here.

Personality

Inez is obsessive. This isn't always a negative.

Inez is too smart for her own good and frequently thinks herself into knots (as evidenced from some of the conversations and interactions in recent / old stories). She is absolutely yanking on people's chain when she pretends to not know or understand some things. Key word: Some. Somewhat at odds with the brawns over brains presentation she has. It's easier not to think about things. Imagine how happy you would be if you stopped thinking too. (She's still not happy.)

That said, she's also allergic to being honest about herself and her feelings. She doesn't lie out of habit. It's more likely she'll omit information or deflect by making a joke. This makes it easier to slip in actual requests for information. You just never know if she's fucking with you or not.

Rarely does she reconsider whatever she thinks the "best" option is. Gleaned from Dialus' perspective in old writing and conversations with my friend @sleepytrolls.

She has a kneejerk reaction to new information, but will also keep asking for details until she's satisfied that she knows enough about it. She's then incredibly likely to turn around and make fun of your character for their perspective. This makes her not fun to talk to. She knows this. She also doesn't care (most of the time).

Has a penchant for violence that's hereditary and probably in part caused by brain damage. From all the concussions, your honor. She has poor emotional regulation normally. She also does not have a moirail or very many trolls willing to put up with her, so this is just bad soup. She's gotten better but not better fast enough.

She has standards and a conscience even if she goes to great lengths to pretend she doesn't. There are absolutely lines she won't cross and she's sensitive to people not being receptive to her bitching, but that's new. Notably, times in the watch party chats when she's switched tack mid conversation based on someone's responses. You won't catch her apologizing though.

She tries to tone down her assholery depending on the person, or tailor it specificly to them to make their day worse. It depends.

Likes

Fighting. As 5lux put it, Inezra was hatched to hate. She doesn't need much reason to fight people and will go so far as to injure herself to get another lick in during those fights. There's something going on up there in her pan. Don't ask what it is.

Being a dick. This is just a precursor to fighting. She doesn't really do blackrom or she'd be in a quad with the whole world. If you hate her she likes you.

A cool cigarette to ease the pain.

Reading, but only sometimes, and she doesn't like most contemporary writing.

You'd think music would belong in this list but it doesn't. No I won't be elaborating on that right now.

Quirks

You can earn her honesty. Ways this has been done so far includes: fighting her and making it fun, having a spine, making her laugh, or being upfront about feelings (that last one doesn't always work). This is usually only for a limited time. You get one glimpse into her functioning troll brain. Just one.

She smokes. A lot. If she were normal she would probably have had two types of lung cancer by now, but she's suspiciously okay.

Whatever

Stuff that doesn't have a specific place to go yet.

Inezra doesn't relate to anyone in her age group. She finds it very strange how Sefoni & co (how she mentally refers to that entire extended friend group) seem wrapped up in other alien's cultures. It's somewhat alienating to be the only "real" troll, which as we all know is a feeling normal people react to with anger. 😀 (She's not actually normal.)

She actually did dodge the draft. That piece of trivia isn't punk posing and will probably catch up to her at some point.

The game doesn't exist in her universe. Every time she sees somebody talk about the game and adjacent topics she thinks they're taking FLARPing too far. It's the cognitive dissonance for me.

Thanks for making it this far. Maybe I'll vomit words again soon.

[arcs-pokedex]

[Pinned moment woooaaaah. the whole pinned is ooc because i don't think arc would have a pinned lol. so. hi!

This is a "Pokemon Are Real" style blog, so here's a general unreality trigger warning- if you need me to tag any posts just say so (i'm not triggered by unreality so i will forgor sorry)

This is an ask blog for an oc of mine named Arc!

It's an au! I don't want to spoil too much just yet, but it takes place in Pokemon Scarlet.

There will be a combination of him talking to you guys, his rotom phone (dialus) answering, and me writing drabbles to push the story along.

You can ask about anything, if the ask makes me uncomfortable i'll just delete it (￣▽￣)b

Tags:

#arc talks - this is for arc's posts !

#dialus the rotom - when dialus speaks

#ooc chattin - when the blogmaster (me) talks to u guys yesyes. the text will be in brackets [like this] usually, so there's another indicator

#pictures - for pictures, usually game screenshots but sometimes drawings idk

The story thus far: Arc is currently applying to become a student at Naranja academy!

Story Posts:

None so far

General Question Posts:

None so far

thanks for reading :D hope you enjoy your time here. lemme know if you need anything tagged]

[sleepytrolls]

jsyk

if you write gore with me

it likely would be with Pesley or Doarch

BUT

If you like your oc being hunted then I can work in Dialus so long as cannibalism doesnt bother you

Or if they are a mutant they can def be murdered horribly by Kass

[felynefighter]

Shipping  meme!

What  is  your  OTP  for  your  character? Oh, right now I’m feeling so much Tooth and Nail (Kana and Dialus’ pale ship with @sleepytrolls //yeshomestuckneverleftme), but for a red ship I’d say Kana and Louis @santamadrecasino are a BIG comfort ship. I love those two rowdy children who keep pissing off their boss.

What  are  you  willing  to  write  when  it  comes  to  shipping? Tbh tbh mostly fluff, angst, action, or whatever I normally write. Not much changes when I’m writing ships as I don’t like writing smut at all.

How  large  does  the  age  gap  have  to  be  to  make  it  uncomfortable? Considering I’ve shipped Kana with a troll whose lifespan is like infinitely bigger than hers, I’d say as long as they’re in the same age group (if that makes sense) I’m good. So I like shipping kids x kids, teens x teens, young adults x young adults, you get the picture.

Are  you  selective  when  shipping? YYYEP. I only ship when we get that chemistry going on between the muses. We’ll both know and nod a couple of times when it happens.

How  far  do  steamy  moments  have  to  go  before  they’re  considered  NSFW? AGAIN I don’t like writing smut and I never really got There™ before because UM Kana’s ace, but I’d say as soon as touching in places start.

Who  are  the  other  characters  you  ship  your  character  with? hHHH ok so I got Lukewarm aka Luke <3 Kana (with @maritimemelancholy​), Freckled Fists / Kaslet <3 Kana (with @sleepytrolls​), Taboo Ship / Lairen <3 Kana (with @spades-chilling-teal even tho it’s more tragic) and lowkey Jinjin <> Kana (with @chimeracarnival, DEFINITELY TRAGIC), all from the Alternia verse. I SPENT A LOT OF TIME A THE FANTROLL COMMUNITY LEMME TELL YA

Does  one  have  to  ask  to  ship  with  you? Yeup. Tho I’ll probably come crashing into your dms if I’m feelin’ a ship.

How  often  do  you  like  to  ship? As often as the chemistry allows it. Don’t force ship with me for fucks sake or I’ll come to your house and kick you in the neck.

Are  you  ship  obsessed  or  ship  more-or-less? Surprisingly no, the romance stuff is more of an afterthought. What I like the most about ships (and just relationships in general) is how one helps the other become a better person without becoming emotional labor. As soon as it does, it stops being a ship.

Are  you  multi-ship? You know what I’ve been going back and forth with it bc Kana might be polyamorous but yes and no??? IT’S COMPLICATED BUT I’M FLEXIBLE SKGHSLKGH

What  are  your  favorite  ships  in  your  current  fandom? I got no fandom my friend, I’m a free woman. (tho for the fandom verses I have which are homestuck and jojo, I’d say..... Kanaya <> Karkat and Jolyne <3 Hermes respectively)

Finally,  how  does  one  ship  with  you? HMU in dms on discord or tumblr and we’ll NEED to collective say yes for it to become a thing. If I say no and you keep forcing stuff, I won’t be mad, I’ll just be disappointed (and also the previously mentioned kick in the neck).

Tagged by: thanks @chevaleresq!!

Tagging: @santamadrecasino / @thcrian / @meanestmachine, @xenostella, @haecceiity and anyone else who feels like doing this!

[roposhipin]

OC ask meme: 3, 9, 12, 19, 22, 27, 36, 41, 47?

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else? Yes  9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else? Sure!  12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot @suspicious-spirit​‘s boi, Gambat TvT”  19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why) Q-Bod means a lot to me because he’s a robo man and i l o f f. I made him based off of this cardboard box we had back in my Summer School and it has made appearances for the last couple of years it’s great. Q-BOD was a cardboard box with a yellow piece of paper on it that says “Question Box of DOOM”. we put in questions on sticky notes into it and the next day would be a pile of those same sticky notes but with answers stuck to them. they answers were pretty funny too ahahah! I still have a couple of my answered questions from Q-BOD hahahahhhh! The box meant a lot to me because my friend made it/introduced it to our class and that friend and i were p good friends! we still are hahahh. he’s a cool guy. but yeah some of the questions were dodged with hilarious answers and y e ah TvT i had a fun time writing questions to Q-BOD.  22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how? Some people think Ginismo is a nice guy when actually he’s a silent assassin pmuch ahahahahhhhh...people also thought he was a grasshopper.  27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? White Light was inspired by Blumenkranz from Kill La Kill. Starry Knight and Dialus were inspired from Last Field Her Moon - Black Rock Shooter - The Game. Kasecairns was inspired by Roisin Murphy - Rama Lama (Bang Bang). Majest was inspired by Detektivbyrån - Vänerhavet and Detektivbyrån - Home Sweet Home. Barram was inspired by Ib - Blind Alley and Ib - Hide and Seek. Vantojest was inspired by Kikuo - Fidgety Theatre. many of my ocs are inspired by songs hahahhhh! i could list them all but that would be a bit too much hhhh  36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)? Serendivinare( @superpaperpain​ ) and Vantojest. Lord Dege ( @flipsidesworst​ ) and Xavier. Blackgold and Barin ( @brutus-gentle-cat​ ).  there’s a shit ton imsorryh e c k.  41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)  there’s this

and this

  47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child? yes.

[hubbery]

Reverence

Title: Reverence Characters: Inezra Thamus, Dialus Bolrik POV Character: Dialus Bolrik POV: First Person, Present Tense Originally written in 2018 for @sleepytrolls. Content edited.

—

I wonder how she works.

I wonder what the underlying reasons for her actions are. I wonder why she smiles at me, teeth sharp but expression at odds with that display. Her expression is soft, the corners of her eyes divided into the smallest of wrinkles. It doesn't take me long to realize I'm taken with her.

It takes less time to catalog all the ways she's captured my attention, my love for her, and sent me falling down a hole I won't (can't, and don't) want to pull myself back up from.

i. Her music ii. Her movement iii. The quirk of her mouth iv. The snap of her wrist v. Her love for me

i.

She plays songs less for me and more for me to hear. She sits with her feet on the coffee table, fingering strings that will snap the next time she plays in anger. Her music is the only language she knows how to speak, and she speaks it well. She doesn't sit with the posture she should, back hunched as she plays chords I can only guess at, but that's part of how she plays.

My only guess is that sitting straight hurts when you never learned how to play the proper way—when you've never learned how to express yourself without contorting yourself and your feelings into odd shapes.

I know that beneath her shirt, on the arch of her back, are marks I've left. She gives me a mixtape the week after we play our first song.

ii.

I watch the way she walks with interest. She has a wide gait, slightly swaying shoulders, and a self-assured look that's only a small gateway to her inner confidence. I know the falter in her step when she's tired, the stiffness in her back from working all night, and the rhythm of her steps up the stairs she'd kissed me on. It wasn't the first time.

iii.

She smiles at me like I'm only a sweep younger. She smiles at me like I know all the secrets to the universe, like what I'd said was the funniest thing she'd heard all week. She smiled at me like she loved me, and it took me too long to realize that the feeling in my chest was the same I'd gotten when she'd played for me. She doesn't smile often, not with feeling.

iv.

She fights the same way she plays music, without pause and with a visceral quality that reveals her feelings. She never fights me how I see her fight others. She doesn't want to break me. She leaves her bite to her words and I leave mine on her flesh.

I'd asked for it the first time I'd met her and I hadn't known just who I was getting involved with; what kind of troll looked back at me over the blaze of a cigarette and tired eyes. Now I know it was the kind of person who could love me like she loved feelings she didn't have a name for.

(The first time we fought I screamed at her. I don't understand it. I don't understand her. I don't understand why she makes me feel this way, why she doesn't yell back, why she smiles, why the expression on her face and the emotions hidden in her eyes stops my heart in my chest. Why I stormed out.

For once in her life she leaves me be.)

v.

She loved me in stages, and she revealed parts of herself to me in the form of memories and friends, mix tapes and yellowing pictures, song lyrics and notes hurriedly scribbled on the backs of napkins. She loves me like she loves the way I make her feel. She loves me in the way she hesitates to hold my hand, to have her skin touch mine, to let the three words that stutter and stop in her throat reach my ears.

I know she loves me, and I know I love her, maybe more than I should.

Her world is a machine I want to take apart and understand. I want to know the pieces of her life as intimately as I know the marks on her skin and her emotions based on the sound of her voice; as intimately as the sound of her playing a song just for me.

[hubbery]

runtime.

Title: runtime. Characters: Inezra Thamus, Dialus Bolrik, Glynne Cacein (Mentioned) POV Character: Multiple Characters POV: Mixed POV, Mixed Tenses Written 2023 in collaboration with @sleepytrolls. Continuation of message begins.

=====> DIALUS: RESPOND?

When Dialus returned hive for the day, their routine was the same. They doff their hat, chuck their bandana, and ignore the mud they’ve trekked in for at least a few minutes. Their palmhusk is charging and their husktop laid amongst a pile of papers filled with diagrams, some scratched out and others balled into so many wrinkled piles. Their husktop’s dim screen displayed a bright red, bordered window, cursor flashing every so often as the message awaited for a response.

Well, not the message. The troll that sent the message.

They slid papers aside to sit and hunkered down in front of the screen, fully prepared to close the window in favor of dealing with it tomorrow night. Except they stopped midway, eyes drawn to the handle on top of the screen, the voice file that broke up a block of text they cringed reading back to themselves.

-- standoffishMalaise [SM] sent a voice file! --

They hit play against their better judgment, their previous contentment replaced with an overwhelming sense of dread as the play button spun and the audio started seconds afterwards. Their bloodpusher was loud in their ears, roaring and drowning out whatever fleeting thoughts they may have had. They hunched forward, hands balling into fists they pressed against their thighs. They only needed to breathe. They would be fine. They were fine. 

Except they weren’t. Inezra had that effect on them before, sweeps ago now. She tore through their carefully put up defenses by showing fleeting moments of honesty, vulnerability, the troll beneath the bravado. Dialus pushed up from their awkward position on the floor, steadied themself by placing a hand on the wall and started walking a ring around their living block. In time their heartbeat matched their footsteps. Their breathing steadying, mental fog clearing, but their emotions didn’t fade. Their nails dug into their palms, vision swimming before they angrily swiped at their eyes.

Inezra’s message was still waiting for them when they sat down.

-- standoffishMalaise [SM] began trolling bastillesActuator [BA] at 18:07 --

SM: . Not sure if you didn't get the lined yellow paaper paad or if you don't feel like chaatting baack, but I waanted to see how you were doing SM: . & I waanted to heaar you I guess . Not for aany reaal reaason SM: . I tried to caall you before but the number waas disconnected . By the time I figured I should messaage you it aalwaays seemed like too much time haad paassed so I kept doing whaat I waas doing SM: . I don't waant aanything from you to be aabsolutely cleaar . Except to taalk, if you're up for it, & you don't haave to saay yes Just let me know

Dialus’s cursor kept flashing, taunting them until they finally responded with shaking fingers.

You're facetiming with Glynne when you get a notification. You’ve got your phone propped up against a half-empty bottle you didn’t feel like topping off, sharing your screen through your phone only because you know the low resolution is annoying. Glynne is begging you not to purchase an outlandish piece of furniture you have in your cart when her expression drops, and with it your attention turns back to your husktop. You must look like broodmates in that moment.

Dialus’s response is staring you in the face.

BA: hey BA: long time no see i guess

The problem you think, as you click your jaw shut, is that you’re not sure you can read them anymore. It was awfully difficult even in person, but you’d had the time to figure it out. Now you don’t have time, you’re half drunk, and you don’t know where to begin. 

BA: is this important?

You take a deep breath, glancing back at your phone. Glynne’s disapproving gaze meets yours for but a fleeting moment, then she’s back to rolling her eyes. “Yeah,” You say aloud, answering Glynne’s unspoken question and the text. “It’s just small talk though. It’s important to me. Is that manipulative?” It’s honest, at least. Whether your sincerity comes through in your voice or expression doesn’t matter. The answer you got would probably be the same.

Glynne’s response comes after a short delay. “So long as you mean it.”

You sigh, and with the support of your intergalactic wingtroll start typing away, leg bouncing against the bottom rung of the barstool you’re sitting on.

SM: . It's importaant to me SM: . but it's not like I haave aanything serious to taalk aabout . I reaally did waant to see how you were doing

You purposefully don’t include any further apologies in your message. They never read well over text, and you don’t want Dialus thinking you’re just trying to butter them up.

SM: ? & caatch up I guess BA: why would you w4nt to t4lk to me

Your expression sours, leg bouncing slowing until you're sitting still again. What do you say aside from the obvious? You want to talk because you're sorry? Because you miss them? Because you gave them an ultimatum and fully believed you were right and you regret it? You've got a million and one contradictions floating around in your pan, multitudes of messages you type and delete with Glynne's silent encouragement, and the whole time you're wishing you had her way with words.

Whatever. Gods, honestly. Whatever. You backspace another paragraph, fingers flying across the keys. You can get to the crux of the issue.

SM: . becaause I waant to get to know you aagaain SM: . if you're willing to thaat is

Another time you’d have put a joke at the end, some last ditch attempt at humor to make being honest with yourself go over a little smoother. 

SM:  . aas friends, or aacquaaintaances . I'm not trying to spring something on you BA: this is sudden you know BA: trying to work b4ck into my life

You don’t have any way of knowing what effect your words have. The fact they didn’t immediately block you would be telling if it were something you wanted to take advantage of, but you’re not trying to push. You’ve got a manageable obsession with trying to right your wrongs so you don’t regret it for the rest of your incredibly long life.  Dialus has anger to fuel them. Sweeps of being knocked aside and left behind. Sweeps of wondering if things turned out the way it did because of them. Not that you have any way of knowing that. Just like you have no way of knowing that they’re counting now, doing their best to entertain this conversation against everything in their body telling them no.

BA: im not re4lly in 4 position to give 4w4y where i 4m 4t the moment SM: . You haave my haandle & I haave yours . You don't need to up & give me your aaddress so we caan taalk

You think for a moment, drumming your fingers on the laminate. After a while you admit the obvious.

SM: . It waas aa spur of the moment kind of thing SM: . I'd thought aabout it plenty before though, just didn't think you'd aappreciaate it

They probably don’t appreciate it now, but that comes to you after you examine your own discomfort. You’ve been staring at your screen for a while now, cheek pressed against your calloused palm and mumbling back and forth with Glynne as she picks your pan and you pick hers in turn. It reminds you of when you were getting schoolfed and had less pressing problems like grades and extracutriculars. Interpersonal problems weren’t something you had to deal with often. Too many superficial relationships with trolls you only shared classes and breezeblocks with.

SM: . I'll give you some spaace to think aabout it

[hubbery]

Blame

Title: Blame Character(s): Dialus Bolrik, Inezra Thamus (Mentioned) POV Character: Dialus Bolrik POV: Second Person, Past Tense Originally written in 2018 for @sleepytrolls.

—

You've shared every wriggling day for the last three sweeps with her. It's no wonder you thought this was real. You'd been so willing to forget that she'd left you without anything to your name. She'd packed her belongings along with yours in so many boxes, ghosted with the duffel bag you bought her (the only one she ever uses, because it's from you), and presumably closed that chapter of her life.

It made so much sense for her to be kissing you or for her to be saying so many nonsensical apologies. Inez doesn't apologize. Inez is righteous. It was what attracted you to her in the first place. Then, when you'd met in that corner between her world and yours, you had only an impression of who she was. Smug, certainly. You hadn't been expecting the intelligence or the ability to keep up with you or her understanding. You didn't know what you had until you lost it. You can only beat yourself up about it so much before there is no more anger left.

There isn't any anger when you wake to cold sheets and bleeding crescents in your palms. You're too tired, too defeated to feel ashamed of still wanting the person that had knocked you down below the worst you had ever been.

You feel ashamed when she shows up like you had been proselytizing in your dreams, but she doesn't hold you in her arms, doesn't kiss you with apologies on her tongue and a hope of reconciliation. She doesn't look like the her you knew. There's nothing roiling in the depths of her eyes, those emotions you used to be able to read. She looks better than you've felt in months.

She sounds better too. You would say she puts as much thought into her words as she always did because you come away hurting. This isn't a fight you can win. You lost when you entered this relationship, when she'd had the self-awareness to warn you before you became something she didn't want to let go.

She told you that you'd end up hurt and it had sounded like so many clichés. She was the big bad high blood in the situation and you? You were the weak low blood, an unimportant stain of excrement. She was supposed to protect you from everything that could hurt and she had, but you hadn't listened.

“It's fine. I guess it just wasn't meant to work.” Words fall from your lips as an afterthought. There is a roaring in your ears that you wish was anger, the sign that your world would turn red and you would fight and make up as you always had, but Inez is silent. There is no repentance hidden in the depths of her eyes. She came to give you closure.

She came because you hadn't listened, the first time, the second, as many times as she had given you chances. You hated it. You hated that she had been right. You hated that she had waited for you in the beginning, waiting for you to catch up to her and pledged herself to you even though you know she hadn't thought you ready. You'd asked her to. You could pretend it was her fault that she had listened.

If the woman at her door was the same as the one she knew there would have been hesitation when she was asked to leave. You're forced to acknowledge that she's changed when she turns her back to you.

She left like you asked. She didn't look back. She didn't glance at you from the corner of her eye the way she did before, when she hoped you'd change your mind about something. You are forced to acknowledge she's changed the same way you forced her to shut you out of her life.

You can almost blame her for your mistakes.

[hubbery]

Hive

Title: Hive Character(s): Dialus Bolrik, Inezra Thamus (Mentioned) POV Character: Dialus Bolrik POV: First Person, Present Tense Originally written in 2018 for @sleepytrolls.

—

I'm going hive. Despite everything I think I still have a chance at redemption. I'll forget everything that had me second guessing her devotion if it means she'll give one more chance.

I don't feel fear walking up the steps or when I get the key from its hiding place, taped to the underside of the handrail. I'm not anxious about putting the key in the door and turning the deadbolt. I'm worried when I am through the threshold to the smell of stale air. Things are not how I left them.

She is nowhere to be seen. 

I think that had she still been here with her things in hand I would have stopped her. I would have told her I loved her. I would have made her see all the things she meant to me and what I would do for her. Except she was already gone. 

The couch was pushed against the wall. The notes she kept on the coffee table had been cleaned and her folders of compositions were absent. Our hive--her hive (it wasn't mine anymore)--was empty. I took this all in with the key to the door loosely grasped between my fingers. I wanted to scream, to cry, to do something. The only one here to see it was myself and the boxes full of my things piled against the wall.

[sleepytrolls]

Kiss for Dia!

With ease, the lowblood started to pepper kisses along her girlfriends face. First the nose, then the mouth, then the neck. Slowly she worked her way down, moving to kiss her girlfriends wrist, then the back of her hand and the palm.Finally she lays a last kiss on her lovers stomach. 

[sleepytrolls]

(im new to fantrolling so i apologize if some of the information is vague or confusing) Cobalt blood, male, im really not sure how sweeps work yet and im too afraid to ask but about mid twenties in human years or so, if he were to take you on a date it'd probably be somewhere away from other people (hates loud stuff and is paranoid af), his hobbies include procrastination and writing very (intentionally) bad stories. any quad because hes a lonely fuck idk im new to this fhsdfhdfbhgk

Your chill dude no worries!!

He sounds like he would be really good for Dialus!

And maybe a decent pale quad/fling for DaparaHe also sounds like a good friend for Arabel since they seem to share a lot of the same hobbies

[sleepytrolls]

🐩 Dialus?

Oh Boy!!! I love Dia!! So Dia was based off of lord of the flies and hyenas!! I didnt find out til years later they didn’t actually eat the kid in lord of the flies sadly. But I made her original concept of mean cannibal and found that it lack depth and while yes I took her from a time I was very angry in my life I also  wanted to add on that she is intelligent and is able to both be a doctor and a robot but also has a some social issues and anxiety, to make her more realistic. Which later caused me to come to the realization  maybe two-three years ago that it is very possible she is autistic. So i started chatting with Streh my sibling who is on the autism spectrum about how to write her properly like this. Dia also gets her genderfluidity from me because I made her at a time I was coming to terms with who I was as well. 

So basically Dia is a big mash up of my teenage anger, my sibling and a lot of other outside factors like FMAB that I have not mentioned.

[sleepytrolls]

1 3 10 21 27 29

1.is there a muse that you wish gets more attention?

Yessssss. I wish Navidi got more attention, she honestly has so much potential but never gets enough interaction.

3.if you HAD to choose, who’s your favorite muse?

MMMMMMMM that’s hard, my top three are Dialus, Kaslet and Doarch atm

10.which muse is the most fun to write for?

Dialus, she is just so funny and witty and dramatic

21.which muse is the most problematic towards other muses?

We all know it’s Doarch, lets not play games here.

27.is there a rule that someone keeps breaking for your muses?

Mmm I think it’s more so that minors despite me having it on my rules page keep trying to come and interact with me?? it’s been an issue as of late.

29.which muse are you considering deleting?

jfdjbfajsdfa MMMM Bennie Anjets because I don’t think I will actually use them???Along with Trinil just because Idk about her character.