#Would it be better for patients if shit got done?? YES

[pookpaak]

tbh i don't even blame night shift when half the shit they were supposed to do went undone. We're all just tryna survive here

[sommerbueckers]

BYEE imagine a little blurb of paige x gf reader where reader is wearing THAT ONE urban outfitter top w the titties out and she’s just going ferallll

𝘨𝘶𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘱𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘵…𝘴𝘰 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵, 𝘪𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶

___________________________________________________________

YOU WERE STANDING IN the mirror applying the last of your makeup— a little blush here, a little lipgloss there— when your girlfriend barged into the bathroom. She was already dressed, her makeup was done, hair was flawless, her phone charged and ready to go. She stared at you with narrow eyes.

"This is why we're late everywhere," she groaned, gesturing to the curling iron that was still hot and plugged in, and the makeup that was scattered around the sink.

"Well sorry not everyone wakes up as sexy as you," you mumbled absently, carefully lining your lips. "I need time."

"You need time management," she corrected.

You frowned and stood up straight, capping the liner and slipping it into your makeup bag. "Y'know you're one to talk, you get ready on time once and all of a sudden we're behind schedule because of me, you've got some nerve girl." When you were met with silence, you glanced at her to find her eyes on your chest. "Hello?"

Her eyes snapped up to yours, "Hm?"

"You're not even listening! You're just staring at my boobs," you accused her, gently poking her chest with your pointer finger.

"Can you blame me? I mean— they jus' sit so good in that shirt."

You playfully rolled your eyes, shutting off the bathroom light and leaving her alone in the darkness. She followed after you.

"You're gonna wear it outside?" she asked, now looking at your ass as you walked into the kitchen.

"Yes? Is that a problem for you?" you challenged.

"No," she scoffed, "Hell no. Would it look better in the house with some lil panties on? Probably. But, I can't stop you."

"You're right, you can't. So, let's go."

"I'LL TAKE THE PULLED PORK SANDWICH."

Paige had suggested taking a break in your errands and going to lunch. It didn't take much convincing, you hadn't eaten all day. You had had an odd craving for barbecue and ended up at a popular spot not too far from your apartment.

The waiter nodded at you, and then turned to Paige. "And for you?"

Paige didn't answer, her eyes glued to your cleavage as you shifted around in your seat. She had been unapologetically staring at day, lips parted, breathing heavy, an absolute wreck. Even now, with the waiter standing patiently as he waited for her to order, she couldn't bring herself to focus. He cleared his throat to no avail.

Finally noticing the way her attention was clearly on the wrong thing, you snapped your fingers in front of her face. "Paige."

"What?" she frowned, leaning back.

"Order your food."

"Shit, yeah." She quickly scanned the menu, "I'll take what she got, and you could bring out another shirley temple?"

"Sure thing," the guy nodded, flipping his notepad closed, taking the menus, and walking away.

"Dude you're a mess," you whispered, "Get yourself together, we're in public."

"So I can't admire my girlfriend in public?"

"I didn't say that, but you could at least pretend to be respectful about it," you said, laughing as you went to take a sip of your drink.

Paige shook her head, "Just wait 'till we get back home."

"YOU LOOK SO FUCKIN' GOOD RIGHT NOW," Paige murmured, hands behind her head as she leaned back on the couch. You had slowly pulled down your pants, taking your panties with them. Left in nothing but your urban outfitter top, you climbed on top of Paige's lap. Her hands instinctively went to your hips, sensually rubbing up and down. "Want you on my thigh."

"Oh!" you laughed out as you effortlessly moved you onto one of her legs, you bit your lip at the contact her thigh made with your core. "Take your sweatpants off..."

"Nuh uh," she smirked, "wanna see the mess you make." She glanced down at the wet spot on her light gray sweats from where she had just moved you. "C'mon mama, ride it."

___________________________________________________________

𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘢 𝘣𝘢𝘥..𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘴𝘮𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘶𝘵

[reignpage]

helloooooo! i’m literally such a fan of everything you post and you’re literally one of the best smau authors on here periodt 🖤

how do you think the jjk men and jjk boys would react to their gf asking another man for help with something or seeing another man help them? like with setting up furniture or opening jars or fixing up their car?

Gojo:

on a mission you partner off with some other guy MAN IS STANDING THERE, JAW ON THE FLOOR HE'S FUCKING BUFFERING LMFAO "uhhhh, sugarplum cupcake sweetness chocolate mouse honeybee? I'm right here???" "don't take another step or god as my witness I will smite this entire country down" and then when you sigh and agree to partner off with him just so you can get this mission done, he's all smiley again, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and skipping off into the sunset

Geto:

on a date you ask a server for some tissues it's so harmless, so normal, so common sensical you'd never think he'd care but when you turn back to him, he's got that psycho killer smile the one that looks so peaceful, so kind and patient that your heart drops to you ass and you realise your mistake "I could have gotten tissues for you, pretty." "did you not want me to get tissues for you, angel?" "could that monkey really fetch tissues better than I could?" will not tip the server might even send a curse after him tbh

Choso:

jealous of his own brother you're at their home and you ask Yuji for a glass of water since he's already in the kitchen man starts sulking he's all depressed, fucking rain cloud over his head, and he looks like he just presented you with a drawing he did in class and you told him you're happy he gave it his best effort lol "I wanted to get water for you" "why did you ask Yuji?" "Yuji can't get water better than me, can he?" will make Yuji return the water so he can get it for you himself, gets a whole new cup and everything

Toji:

you ask a plumber to fix a leaky pipe under your sink comes home and sees a pair of men's shoes and he's readying a fucking weapon cocks a gun and everything marches in all ready for some guerrilla warfare sees you waiting for the plumber and realises the situation will backseat help "nah, you need to twist harder" "how much experience did you say you have?" when guy leaves, he's all moody and grouchy "no, I don't fucking care" "waste your money on some fucking plumber, that's on you" will break it when you're not looking so he can prove a point "it's hard to get good help these days ma, good thing I'll do it for free"

Nanami:

you're at work you ask a colleague for help with a document instead of him doesn't say shit he's trying to rationalise it in his head "she just didn't want to bother me, that's all" to everyone else, he looks fine but you see his jaw is tense, brow twitching once in a while, and he's flicking through papers much harder than he needs to have to smooth talk him "are you okay, kenny baby?" "I thought we had an agreement that pet names have no place in the office, honey." ride home is quiet, not really tense since you know why he's upset, and it's making you laugh a little when you get home, you have to hug it out of him and whisper sweet nothings until he relaxes "yes, you're right, my love. I was feeling a little possessive there. please come to me if you ever need help, even if it's the most minor thing. I would never turn you away." me personally, I wouldn't wait until we get home, I'm sucking him off in the car, hell under the desk, hell right in front of everyone

Sukuna:

you ask some random person in the street for directions whilst out sightseeing kills them you ask someone to get something on the top shelf in a supermarket, you don't even know Sukuna's there he kills them you trip, a guard on the estate catches you and you say thanks kills them changes out the entire guard doesn't even say shit, just does it without further thought or discussion

Yuji:

offended if you ask someone else to spar with you "HEY! I could spar you. I'm really good!!" will try to join in tries to show off his moves and the type to laugh really loud randomly to catch your attention you're going to have to throw him a bone because everyone else is getting annoyed if maki glares at you one more time, you'll cry "yay!!!! me and my girlfriend are the best sparring duo the world has ever seen" mood switches so easily, never holds a grudge

Megumi:

you're at a bookstore you ask for some guy's opinion, a recommendation or something he does that horror movie neck turn, the slow one with the jaws theme song doesn't say anything either just starts brooding oozing dark energy in the corner muttering to himself as he reads a book and if you tease him about it, he might actually just summon mahoraga tbh you have to butter him up and he'll let it go for the most part. just be aware you're never going to that bookstore again tho

Inumaki:

pikachu face when you ask panda to explain a joke to you you gonna do him like that??? with his BOY???? starts cursing all of you out "caviar!" and if you both ignore him, he'll start zipping down his jacket menacingly texts you "panda doesn't know shit, I'm the memelord, you should ask me" "panda's not explaining right!" spams "bruh" everywhere, in ur dms, in the group chat, on his insta/snap stories. fucking tweets it

[mypoisonedvine]

request for virgin eddie munson who loses his shit over anything and everything reader does

you are speaking my LANGUAGEEEE GOOD GOD

warning: smut, wholesomeness, eddie is down bad

"So... you've really never done this before?" you said, biting your lip. You have no excuse for why it kinda turned you on. Perhaps because it was the last thing you expected from a guy like Eddie... or because you got the feeling you could blow his mind without putting all too much effort into it.

"I-I mean, I've done stuff," he assured, "just... not this, yeah."

"Don't tell me you were saving yourself for the right girl," you joked, and he laughed nervously as he rubbed his palms on the trailer's ratty old couch.

"No," he breathed, "not really, just... never had much luck with girls, I guess."

"Well," you purred as you leaned in closer, running your hand over his chest through the adorable DIY Hellfire shirt, "if you don't mind giving up your virginity, you can get lucky tonight. How's that sound?"

"Uh... pretty much perfect," he laughed thinly.

But what truly sounded perfect was Eddie himself-- the way he moaned, whimpered, even begged for you as soon as you did anything for him. Grinding in his lap, making out and running through your fingers through that beautiful mess of hair... it seemed so easy to drive him crazy, and you loved it.

"Baby," he breathed, "I-- I don't know how much more I can take of this..."

"You've still got your jeans on," you noticed with a smirk.

"Yeah, and you've got your top off-- can't help it," he grinned, "you're gorgeous."

"God, I want you to fuck me," you sighed.

"What are we waiting for, then?" he cooed, running his hands up your bare back.

"W-well, it's just--"

"Oh, fuck," he breathed, "been down this road before-- sorta how I ended up still a virgin by now. But it's fine, we don't have to--"

"No, it's not that!" you interrupted. "I really want to... I just feel kinda weird about being your first."

"Weird, like, you don't want to be?" he asked, concerned.

"Weird, like, not sure why you want it to be me. Are you really sure?" you pressed.

"At this point, doll, I want it to be anybody," he joked, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

You thought you hadn't shown your disappointment on your face, but he still noticed, and reached up to turn your head towards him when you looked away.

"Hold on, I didn't mean it like that," he promised. "I-I really want it to be you. Specifically-- like, not just any girl. Yes, I would pretty much take 'any girl' by now, as long as she's not, you know, an objectively horrible person, I guess... but oh my god, you..."

He pulled you a little closer, looking right into your eyes, and you had the terrifyingly wonderful thought that this might be more than just casually hooking up. You might have a tiiiny bit of a crush...

"You-- you're... so much better than I ever thought I could do," he continued laughing. "And I never made a big deal out of my first time-- I mean, I wanted it, but I didn't think it had to be special or anything. And it doesn't have to be, especially if you don't want it to be, but... I think it kind of is, more than I expected. Because, honestly, getting lucky with a smokin' babe like you is always gonna be special-- whether it's the first time or the thousandth time."

You kissed him again, a little differently than before; and he pulled you closer, holding you tight and sighing against you.

Before that, you'd imagined 'special' meant sweet, slow, patient-- really romantic stuff. That night, though, Eddie taught you that special could be wild, desperate, and just downright animalistic. Actually, he taught you that lesson repeatedly...

"So... just as special whether it's the first or the thousandth time, huh?" you remembered what he'd said as you both laid back, staring at the ceiling, panting like dogs.

"Yeah," he agreed, to exhausted to say much else.

"How about the second time?"

"The second time was five times ago, sweetheart," he laughed breathlessly.

"No, I mean like... the second date," you explained.

"As long as you give my dick a few days to recover... yeah, it'll be just as special next time."

[scientia-rex]

Saw a patient today who had been through a series of medical visits that epitomizes what I hate about multiple different kinds of care providers. Their VA dermatologist took a scoop out of them to remove a basal cell cancer. Fine. I’m not a dermatologist, maybe it needed those wide margins. (If it didn’t, going that deep should mean it was an excisional biopsy and they put in sutures to close it.) They gave the patient and his wife confusing instructions about wound care. They didn’t provide guidance around keeping it covered or moist. It got infected. His wife took him to Urgent Care. The UC doc took a swab of the wound and started antibiotics. They came to see me for a visit we scheduled ages ago for something else.

Here’s the thing. Wounds need to be kept at what I call the Goldilocks moisture level: not too dry and not too wet. If it’s pruny/white/mushy like it’s been in a bathtub, it’s too wet. If it’s cracking, it’s too dry. This is why you can’t say “cover it for X days and then leave it out.” That would be like telling someone with heart failure and lower extremity edema “take the diuretic for a week and then stop” without any instructions around dry weight, dizziness, etc. It’s more complicated than that.

This wound was too dry. No one had talked to them about keeping it moist. No one had even mentioned Vaseline.

No, they got a wound swab. Want to guess how good a wound swab is for an open wound exposed to the world? Pretty terrible. You can improve it a little bit by making sure you’ve removed some kind of layer and then expressing fluid directly from the wound with the swab, but it’s still bad. The only time I give a shit about what grows from a wound swab is when it was a) collected in the OR (as when the podiatrist gets a sample of osteomyelitic bone in a sterile environment) or b) when it grows pseudomonas. Everything else? I can figure out by looking at it. If it’s skin it’s probably either staph or strep. If it’s staph, it’s either MRSA or MSSA. If it’s MRSA, it’s making a lot of pus, it’s red, it’s hot, it’s painful. This wasn’t. So it was either MSSA or strep. So what are we going to do for systemic antibiotics? Probably the same thing we would have done anyway—Keflex.

And what’s the utility of systemic antibiotics in a skin wound? Not a lot, most of the time. This wasn’t cellulitis proper. It wasn’t red or hot or angry enough. A red border around the wound does not a systemic infection make. And if you don’t care properly for the wound itself, there’s no point in antibiotics, because it still can’t heal. Antibiotics can get where blood goes. Blood does not go into the slough that is the bacterial biofilm covering a wound.

So I sat there with gauze and saline and gently debrided the 100% slough off the wound. It’s yucky and it takes time and attention. It doesn’t get compensated. That’s why no one else had done it yet. The derm had blown it off as “it’s healing, it’s fine.” It wasn’t healing. It was developing rolled edges, where the wound edges couldn’t heal across the slough and so they started to curl back under themselves. If taking off the slough (and keeping it gone by MAINTAINING PROPER CONDITIONS) doesn’t let it heal, I’ll need to get him back in and rough up the edges with a Buck’s curette until it can heal.

Multiple professionals who should have known better tried to make my patient just go away, rather than heal him.

I’m pissed. I’m tired. I think I have a cold. I shouldn’t be doing the work the dermatologist or the UC provider should have done. And because of everything they’d told her, his wife was pissed at me for doing what was correct. “We’ve heard a lot of different things!” Yes, and I’m right. You’ll find out when the wound actually starts healing when we care for it properly.

The value of a model is in what it can predict. Wounds are great about making it clear when your model sucks.

[just-jordie-things]

omg omg omg i am extremely sorry if i interrupted your hopefully very wonderful day but i was thinking abt megumi x reader where the reader is at first very stoic and nonchalant (and sometimes even comes off as a bit blunt), typically is introverted, but once u get to know reader u realise they are very silly and lighthearted, and they like doing things for their friends even if they dont rlly find it interesting as they just want to make them happy. IDK WHY BUT I RLLY LIKE THIS IDEA. byebyee ! ♪( ´θ｀)ノ

!!!!!!!! YES !!!!!!!!!!!

what's interesting about you is that megumi did not warm up right away- despite you being just like him. nobara and yuji notice it shortly after meeting you. at first impression you're reserved, maybe even a bit intimidated by their rambunctious energy. but once you got to know them it didn't take long for them to see the real you. that you could be just as goofy and fun, you just had to get comfortable first!!

but just to megumi's luck, it seemed you hadn't quite gotten used to his presence yet. because as soon as he came around, you were quiet. for a while he didn't think much of it. but eventually he started to notice that wasn't the norm for the others.

he'd see you having lunch with yuji, laughing and talking animatedly. or chatting away while mid-spar with nobara, it seemed even when you were winded you could hold a conversation with her.

and he tried not to let it get under his skin, because megumi wasn't sensitive... he didn't care if you got along better with his friends than with him.... that would be... well... shit.

he racked his mind for what he possibly could've said or done to ward you off. but the longer he thought about it the more he came to realize that he hadn't even been around you enough to have said something to offend you, so what could it be?

his pesky thoughts kept telling him maybe you were crushing on yuji or nobara... but he did his best to shove those thoughts down. so what if you liked one of them? it wasn't like him to be jealous...

well shit, he's jealous AND sensitive. fantastic.

deciding that he'd just have to approach you to get to the bottom of it, megumi swallows his pride. if he asked you directly why you never talked to him, then you'd have to give him a proper answer.

so he finds you one afternoon walking on your own, takes a deep breath, and approaches.

and just before he can say anything, you catch sight of him and even smile a little- wait did you just smile at him?

"fushiguro, i was just going to look for you"

it's the most you've ever spoken to him, and he's frozen before you. he even looks completely caught off guard, brows raised to his hairline, lips parted, eyes wide, you almost laugh at him.

"l-looking for me?" he stammers back at you, and this time you can't help the little chuckle that comes out.

"yeah, gotcha something," you say, only confusing him further.

he watches in shock as you reach in your pocket, trying to come up with what you could have for him. when you retrieve a small pop-it keychain and dangle it before him with a grin, megumi can safely say he wasn't expecting that.

he blinks at it dumbly, as if he's never seen a pop-it fidget toy before. there's only two bubbles on the keychain since it's so small, but he's more curious about the black, vague dog shape of the keychain itself.

"thought it looked like your dog," you say, your smile suddenly growing bashful the longer megumi just stands there and stares at it. "...kinda" you add nervously.

finally, he reaches out to take the small gift from you. he pops the bubbles mindlessly, but mostly he just couldn't tear his eyes away from it.

it was almost awkward, how long you both stood there in silence while megumi inspects the keychain.

and eventually, he looks back at you, only ot find you've been waiting rather patiently for him to say something.

"you just... got this for me?"

it's a stupid comment, but he doesn't know what else to say.

you nod your head. "yeah, made me think of you"

it made her think of me? now megumi's face is heating up at the idea that you think of him at all. before now he would've bet money that you didn't even know his first name.

"oh... thank you..."

his awkwardness nearly gives you second hand embarrassment, but you're so relieved that he accepted the silly gift at all that all you can do is smile and nod at him.

to his surprise, there's a block in his throat that he has to clear before he can speak again.

"um, i was just heading to lunch..." he trails off, hoping that's all the more he'd need to say, but when you stand there and blink back at him he figures he'll have to make more of an effort. "have you eaten?"

you shake your head, a small smile on your face as you see where he was trying to go with this.

"i could eat" you reply.

megumi nods his head a few times, his fingers nervously fiddling with his new keychain, popping the rubber bubbles audibly.

"so... so you want to come and eat with me?"

you bite your tongue to keep from laughing as you nod again. your lunch is spent making awkward conversation in an attempt to fill the awkward silences. but after trying to open himself up to you, megumi finally got to see the side of you he so badly wanted to get to know.

now it was just his turn to try to return the favor. you had your curiosities too, after all.

[mattsbows]

ribbons and lace ౨ৎ sam golbach

in which. . .you give sam a little punishment for claiming something is "too girly"

smut, sub!sam, bondage, use of pet names (both sweet and demeaning), oral (m), edging, grinding

1.2k words

you were by far the girliest person anyone had ever met. your entire closet was a combination of pinks, white, and soft greys. your and sam’s bedroom looked more like your bedroom, considering the circle bed, plushy pink comforter, and the girly knick knacks that were strewn around the room. 

this usually wasn’t a problem. sam didn’t mind the fact that it looked like a boutique had exploded in your house. you were happy and that was all he cared about. however, he was a boy, after all. sometimes he wanted to do…well, guy things, which was rather hard in your hyperfeminine home. 

“sweetheart, do we have any, uh, non hello kitty cups?” he asked you gently, looking through the cabinets. 

“i don’t think so. why?” you questioned, looking up from the ulta catalogue that you were currently circling your wishlist in. 

“well, uh…”

you cocked your head at sam’s hesitation. “go on.”

“it’s just that these glasses are a bit girly to drink a beer out of. that’s all.” he mumbled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his reddening neck. 

you blinked, a smirk growing on your face. “too girly, huh?”

“baby,” sam started. “it’s not a bad thing! i just wanted something a little more guylike.”

you folded your catalogue, feigning irritation. what you really felt though, was a spark of attraction and excitement. “bedroom. now.”

“but i didn’t mean it like-” sam was cut off by you grabbing his wrist, a coy smile on your glossy pink lips. 

“i suggest you get your pretty little ass to the bedroom right now, or you won’t cum for two weeks. got it?” you teased. 

sam blushed at your words, nodding softly. he knew better than to argue with you. it wouldn’t get him what he wanted. the blond dropped his head quietly, making his way to the bedroom. he knew you would follow in time, the best thing to do now was be patient for whatever awaited him.

you waited a few beats before entering the bedroom, noting sam on his knees on the bed. “good boy.” you smiled

sam whined at your statement as you sat beside him, rubbing your hand along his upper thigh. his dick was already starting to harden from you teasing him, and your rubbing wasn’t helping. 

“‘m gonna show you just how feminine i can get, baby boy,” you cooed with fake sweetness. “c’mon. be a good little thing and strip.”

your boyfriend did as told, slowly removing his shirt and pants until he was left in just boxers. you stared at him with a watchful eye, not even needing words to embarrass the boy. 

“sammy needs to learn his lesson, huh?” you tutted, straddling his lap. “needs to be shown what having a smart mouth will get you.” you grinned, beginning to grind on his covered cock.

“f-fuck…” sam whimpered quietly. “i’m sorry. didn’t mean to talk back. shit.” he whined.

you began to dry hump sam harder, your skirt-covered hips bucking against his own. the blond had his head thrown back, little whines and grunts leaving his lips as he gripped the hem of your shirt. he was so painfully hard that it hurt. 

just as you felt sam’s cock twitch with oncoming orgasm, you moved off his lap. “you didn’t think you were getting off that easy, did you?” you chuckled. 

the blond whined, his lower lip jutting out. “need to cum…” he whined, dick so painfully hard.

“awww, too bad. i’m not done having my fun,” you shrugged. “on your back.”

sam did as told, knowing the faster he obeyed you, the faster he would get the sweet release he had been chasing just moments prior. he had brought this upon himself, after all. as soon as his back hit the pink pillows, you spread his legs, pulling his boxers down his legs. as soon the material was off, his dick sprung up, red, hard, and glistening with pre cum. 

“you gonna be a good boy?” you questioned. 

he nodded eagerly, needing to feel your touch on his body once more. “y-yes. promise.” he mumbled, looking up at you with those blue puppy eyes. 

“so you’ll let me tie you up, huh? let me use you however i please?”

sam nodded eagerly, willing to do practically anything to have you touch him. you smiled at his compliance, bouncing off the bed and skipping over to your vanity. you dug around in the drawers for a moment, before pulling out two spools of ribbon; one lacy and one silky pink. 

before sam knew it, you were gracefully tying his hands and feet together using the ribbon. to make the punishment extra sweet and ironic, you made sure to finish the bonds with bows, giggling at your work. “not too girly now, huh baby?” you said, voice dripping with false sympathy.

“‘m sorry.” the blond whined gently, cheeks reddening at the situation. 

you hummed gently, beginning to suck and lick at his cock. your large doe eyes fluttered innocently, your falsies batting against your blushed cheeks. sam groaned as the stimulation made him ache with pleasure. he needed to grab onto something. the more he whined, the faster you went, taking him until his dick hit the back of your throat. 

“shit,” sam whimpered, wriggling in his pink, lacy ties. “need to…need to cum.”

as soon as your boyfriend said that, you pulled off with a pop, sitting back on your legs and glaring at him sweetly. “beg for it, sam. i know you can do it.”

“please,” he moaned, stomach clenching with the need for orgasm. “please let me cum.”

“no. you wanted to act like a little brat, now you’re getting treated like one.” was your short answer before you were back to teasing him, the flat of your tongue running along the underside of his dick. 

sam whined, the ache from being edged becoming so powerful that tears were pricking at the corners of his eyes. he couldn’t even grasp the sheets to control himself, hands still bound with your ribbons. “fuck…oh, mmm…” he moaned. 

finally, you pulled off, looking up at him with a smile. “have you been a good boy, sweetheart?” you asked, reaching up to caress his sweat-dampened cheek. 

your boy nodded eagerly as a tear ran down his face. “mhm. been a good boy. ‘m sorry for misbehaving.”

you grinned, patting his cheek. “you’re such a whore, baby. you know that? go ahead,” you purred, starting to stroke his aching cock. “cum for me.”

sam was so sensitive from being edged repeatedly that he came with just a few pumps of your hand. he cried out repeatedly as the warm, white substance coated your hand, finally giving him the release he’d been craving. as soon as he was finished, your boyfriend laid back against the pillows, panting heavily. 

you kissed sam’s forehead, before wiping your hand off with a wipe from your nightstand and moving to untie his binds. “did you learn your lesson, love?” you asked, the mean demeanor you had given him just moments prior now gone. 

the blond nodded his tiredly, beyond worn out. “yeah. i guess girly stuff isn't that bad.” he mumbled, going red again. 

“damn right it isn’t, sweetheart.”

a note from the author: hey so me and @tyummyz were insane for this idea! enjoy<3

❁ tags: @mattsdemi @purpledragon222 @slxtarchive @natashad0627 @quinnynation @tyummyz @colorthecosmos444 @lockettesroom @mattyblover07 @marrykisskilled @beautyloves @nicksbestie

[redgoldblue]

so assuming Avery is actually pregnant / doesn't early-trimester miscarry (which is not a given), there's two reasonable ways this can go, right. number one is she gets an abortion, the plotline is used to pull them all back together again, and they all have some collective hurt/comfort about it. number two, the one i would write - don't get me wrong, i'm all for women getting career-driven abortions, but hear me out - is the one where she does have the baby. under the cut bc it got long.

she goes to med school at first while pregnant - Max is right, it can be done, people in my cohort did it - and either gets lucky with the timing of the actual birth being during holidays, or just works her way to getting time off for a few weeks around it. And then... there's a baby. And you know what else there is? There's two dads (because we're 100% Mamma Mia-ing this bitch. they never find out who the bio dad is and they never seriously try. Baby comes out with Avery's exact skin tone so that's no clue.), and an entire cruise ship worth of backup babysitters. So Avery goes back to med school, and leaves the baby with Tristan and Max.

And, yes, raising a baby while also running an infirmary with a rotating cast of temporary substitute nurses filling Avery's role isn't the easiest thing they've ever done, but Robert loves fulfilling grandparent duties any time he's not on duty; Rosie gets one of those strap-on baby carriers and walks her (i don't know why i've decided the baby is a her but i have now) around the engine room pointing out parts and explaining concepts and hey, the baby never complains about her Michigan stories; Corey gets a cart and a bundle of clean sheets and pushes her down the corridors until the smell of laundry powder automatically makes her start laughing.

Max and Tristan make a pact to send Avery at least two photos a day - which ends up getting supplemented by everyone else who's with Baby - and FaceTime her most days, and whenever she gets a few days off she meets them in port. (The most expensive part of baby-raising ends up being her flights to wherever the Odyssey happens to be at the time, at least until Robert finds out and figures out a way to start paying her 'maternity leave', despite her insistence that the whole point of this is that she isn't maternity-leaving and he should probably be paying himself that and anyway, isn't she technically not an employee right now?)

And the thing is, during this time, Max and Tristan start... realising some things. Like how neither of them feel like they've lost their only partner, because they.. haven't. Like how the co-parenting's been working out better than either of them expected, because they fell instantly (minus a few minor bumps) into a shared rhythm. Like how sometimes they look at the other one holding Baby and feel like their heart's about to explode.

Also, they've both started sleeping in Max's bed. Because Baby's spent so much time sleeping in the corner of the infirmary that now if she wakes up at night and can't see both of them, she starts crying inconsolably. And obviously Max's suite is more suited to multiple inhabitants, and they're usually too damn exhausted to even remember the first time they were in this bed together.

(usually. most of the time. and when they're not, they don't make it the other's problem)

So at the end of the first year of this, the last two days of the year's last cruise have been packed with crisis after crisis after demanding patient after crisis, and as soon as they finally wave the last passenger off they hand Baby gratefully over to Robert and go crash out in Max's bed.

Avery was supposed to be meeting them on board tomorrow, but her last exam gets unexpectedly moved up by a day (believe me, med school loves to pull that kind of shit on you), so a couple hours after the passengers have gone, she shows up to surprise them. And finds Robert (a known ody3 shipper) first, who lets her take Baby with minimal captainly sulking about it, and while she rocks and kisses Baby, tells her (as a known ody3 shipper) that the two dads will be on the Pelican deck, but they're probably asleep.

Avery kinda frowns at him, but doesn't question it, and takes Baby up with her to Max's suite to find them. And they are both fast asleep, on either side of Max's bed with a space carefully preserved between them (because it's usually where Baby would be and they're both terrified of accidentally rolling onto her in the middle of the night). She's also exhausted after exams, so she crawls into it, lies on her back with Baby on top of her chest, and goes straight to sleep.

Tristan and Max wake up before her, and when they look across at each other, at Avery and Baby between them, they both simultaneously realise, oh. oh. oh, this - this three, two-and-half, four people, all together - this is it. this is the love, this is the children, this might even be the home - the second, third, fourth bucket list items to happen in this bed.

[blackknight-kai]

Just to make a small update:

Yes I’m working on asks 🫶 sorry it’s delayed work kinda…..hit hard. I don’t even get more than a minute to get up 1 time a day hardly anymore because it’s so much chaos and yada yada yada.

Asks are gonna be a bit slow (I’ll sprinkle through them here and there) but come January when things slow a bit for me I’ll be back to regular programming.

Thank you for being patient with me! You guys have given me so much inspiration and I wanna get it out but I’m so brain dead 😭💀

That said, have a small not fleshed out head canon about Pranks!

Wukong and DO are the kind of guy that gets TOO competitive and too into pranks and shit.

You towel whip him? You better HOPE he doesn’t catch you. Your ass is gonna HURT when he gets you back with it or something else.

I advise you not to get into a pranking war with him. No. Just…for your sanity and safety do NOT. Because you challenge him? He’s going to make it so so much worse for you.

In my house, whatever is done receives 10x the payback. That’s how I grew up and I can imagine Wukong/DO being WORSE.

While Wukong is obvious, DO you’d think “Nah he would be light on the pranks he’s reserved” and that’s where you go wrong. See, I feel like DO being quiet means he’s a thinker. And thinking people(monkeys) are dangerous. He has PLANS.

Him being in love with you won’t save you. It might buy you time or a smaller prank…but in the end he’s going to win the prank war.

While Wukong/DO won’t HURT you….will he put you in danger just for a bit/to watch you squirm? Yes. Sure he has the situation under control and you won’t get hurt in the end but…he’s committed to assert his dominance as a master trickster.

He LOVES the games and challenge.

But don’t get it twisted, he’s all for good fun not genuinely fucking you up mentally or hurting you. If you tell him he’s gone too far or tell him to keep it at a certain level - he would, just for you because he cares about YOU. Hes gonna annoy the hell out of you though because he always seems to have SOMETHING up his sleeve. You can get him good, surprise him, or one up him. But be ready for the consequences of that. He may be proud but he’s going to show you who is better. He’s like a predator playing with his prey when it comes to tricks and pranks.

If you don’t think you can handle his full prankster attention try team work with him instead. He will be the most amazing partner in crime.

Slight nsfw thought:

When you one up him he’s gonna reward you because it definitely turned him on that you got him gooooood. Gonna make sure you feel reaaal good about it too with how proud he is of you.

Honestly the tricks and pranks probably lead to playful/spicy play between you guys because it’s kinda like flirting 🤣 especially for him.

[marksbear]

spencer reid gets hurt during a case and goes to the hospital where his boyfriend is working but he team doesn’t know he has one yet?

Hope you enjoy my friend!

SPENCER REID X SURGEON MALE READER

“Reid! Watch out!” Derek shouts, but it was already too late. Spencer felt his whole body sting with pain. Spencer was caught in the middle of open fire from the unsubs.

Spencer's limp body falls onto the hard cold ground laying in his own blood as the gun wounds flush open blood rushing out of his stomach and legs. The team begins to open fire at the unsub while other agents rush to Spencer's body. 

Once the unsub was taken down almost all the team members crowd Spencer’s body. The only thing Spencer could hear was muffled shouting and screaming. Even though Spencer’s vision was blurry he could make out his co-workers' worried faces. Spencer opens his mouth to speak, but shuts it as his head turns to the side passing out.

Paramedics begin to treat Spencer’s wounds protecting him from any infections. The ambulance pulled up to the scene as fast as they could, picking up Spencer and putting him inside. 

The team could only stand back and watch as they saw their dear friend get pulled up into the ambulance. 

TIMESKIP

Y/n was talking to his fellow doctors enjoying his break until nurses screamed and shouted about needing all surgeons on deck. Many doctors rush out of the room already expecting the worst alongside Y/n. Many surgeons go into the operating room waiting for the patient to arrive. Y/n felt his blood run cold as he watches his boyfriend get brought to the table.

"Shit Y/n. I didn't know that your boyfriend was gonna be here. I can take your place if you want." One co-worker says as realization hits everyone remembering that it's Y/n's boyfriend.

"Yeah Y/n. You can sit this one out." An older experienced doctor offers putting on his gloves about to get to work. "No...I got this." "Alright Y/n, but don't let your emotions get in the way." A female worker points out before starting the surgery.

TIMESKIP

Finally after the seven hour surgery is done Spencer is brought into his hospital room where all the team is already there.

"Is he okay!?! What's going to happen to him!" Penelope asks with a shout already beginning to think for the worse.

"He's fine for now. The surgery really did save him. Few of his bones are broken, from now he would have problems most likely walking and he would have this scar on his stomach forever. He has to wait a few more months to see if he is checked for going back to work." A nurse says giving the team a run down before leaving the room.

As the team crowd Spencer talking to him even though Spencer is still sleeping.

Hotch notices doctors and nurses whispering to themselves looking directly into the room causing suspicion to rise. Derek notices it as well and walks up to one of the doctors directly. "Okay what the hell is going on. And hell are you whispering about."

"It's nothing sir. Really. Were just worried about Y/n. Poor guy. One of my biggest fears is operating on my significant other." A doctor answers shortly before walking off with the others.

"Who's Y/n?" Emily asks after eavesdropping in the conversation.

"No one..." A dry voice calls out from the room catching everyone's attention. "Spencer!" "Pretty boy!" "Reid." Everyone says surrounding Spencer before asking him a butch of questions. Reid tries to answer them to the best of his abilities, but overall fails from the massive pain he's feeling. Emily is quick to hear Spencer wince in pain so she presses the button for the nurses help.

Soon after the nurse arrived with a worried expression. "He's feeling pain every time he speaks. Is there something he can take for it?" Emily asks watching the nurse think.

"Yes. But I will have to get a doctor first. I'll get Doctor L/ n it will surely help Reid feel better." The nurse responds back leaving the room before any of the team could ask her questions.

"Spencer. Do you know any L/n?" Hotch asks looking at Spencer. Reid could only ignore the question as he stares at the door waiting for the unknown man called L/n.

"Spencer! Thank god you're awake!" An unknown voice calls out rushing into the room and quick to the man's side. "Are you okay?!? What happened! I told you to be careful today remember!" The doctor takes Reid's hands giving them a light squeeze.

"I thought I lost you. You scared me so much asshole." Y/n scolds feeling the teams confused eyes all on him and his boyfriend.

"Don't you dare do something like this again! I can't bare seeing you so close to death again Spence. Don't forget that I promised to marry you one day, so I need you to stay alive until I do so." Y/n says watching tears fall softly out of Spencer. "I love you alright? I'm glad that you're alright." Y/n says lastly before giving Spencer a huge hug.

"Thats doctor Y/n L/n. They have been dating for a couple years now." The nurse says to the team trying to clear up their confusion.

The nurse pulls Y/n away from Spencer with a few giggles escaping her lips before showing Spencer the medicine to Spencer and the team and giving them a run down about it and how much should he take. Even though shes the nurse she takes the role of the doctor as Y/n cuddle Spencer in his arms.

After shes done she leaves the room going to her next patient room.

"I get to take care of you for months~ I'm going to treat you like a pretty princess." Y/n says with a wink taking note at the slight chuckle and blush on Spencer's face.

Y/n turns his head around to the team once he hears someone clear their throat. "Oh right sorry. I'm Doctor Y/n L/n. But you can just call me Y/n." Y/n says putting his hand out to Aaron.

"Nice to meet you Doctor L/n. I'm special agent Aaron Hotchner." Hotch says taking and shaking Y/n's hand in a tight grip.

"Nice to meet you as well." Y/n says with a smile.

"You better not break his heart." Hotch whispers into Y/n's ear.

"I don't plan on it detective." Y/n responds back with a smirk.

"Good."

THE END

[bree-cheesy]

Forever and Always

Jschlatt x Ped Nurse fem!reader

I hope you guys like this! I'm actually kind of proud of it and really hope you guys are proud of it too!

Warnings: child cancer patient death, this is def angsty, hospitals?, some kissing at the end (no smut, sorry).

Words: 1,511

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Being the roommate of a very popular youtuber and streamer- when you’re not famous yourself at all- is a lot of pressure. You don’t like to be in his streams or videos, so whenever he’s filming or streaming, you have to lock yourself in your room till he’s done. You two had been friends and roommates since he moved to Austin. You both moved around a lot, but you didn’t really mind it because you weren’t alone doing it. Jay kind of felt like your rock in ways. Something that always pretty much stayed the same. Aside from the occasional haircut or different hoodie.

Yes, you had a little crush on him. Couldn’t really help it because he always had cute nicknames for you, always super touchy. Not to mention he was the only guy who actually ever listened to you.

Your job was pretty demanding. You were a pediatric nurse. Your whole job revolved around kids. Being around kids that much, you obviously start to feel like an older sister to them. Doing everything in your power to make sure they’re comfortable and not scared. Especially for the ones in critical care, or the ones with life risking illnesses. But, getting attached is dangerous. When the ones who are on end of life care eventually reach the end of their life, you’re just broken for days. Blaming yourself for not doing anything more for them, even though you know you did everything in your power for them. They never passed away sad, always surrounded by loved ones and the team helping them.

Today was different, though. You had a patient. A 7 year old girl with stage 4 lung cancer. She was an orphan. No family and was thrown into the hospital by her foster family and just left behind. She had been under the hospital’s care for 5 months and you formed a strong bond with her. She felt like a little sister to you. She was doing so good. She was getting better. Then, close to the end of your shift, her heart monitor went flat while a doctor was in there talking to her. It was like your whole world stopped. The cancer grew so much in what felt overnight, blocking her lungs, not letting any oxygen get in. There was no saving her. She was really gone.

When you finally got to your car after staying 2 hours overshift, helping everyone with the little girl, you completely broke down. You stayed pretty good at being neutral in the hospital, but it was just too much. How hadn’t any of you seen her cancer growing? I failed. I failed her. You almost couldn’t drive home, stopping a few times just to try and collect yourself. Pulling up to the house, you saw a car parked in front of the house. Shit. You totally forgot. Jay got home from being away in Japan today. You were so excited all day because you missed him so bad. Now look at you. A total mess. He had a super long day of travel and now he’s gonna have to deal with you being a blubbering snotty mess.

Pressing your forehead against the steering wheel, you sighed, trying to gather your emotions. When you looked up you saw him. Standing on the porch, holding the black and orange cats, smiling like a dork in that stupid Seaworld hoodie and basketball shorts. That would usually be enough to brighten your mood and make you laugh, but tonight it just made it all worse. You let out a sob and pressed your hands against your face, leaning your head back against the headrest. Jay frowned and quickly let the cats back inside, rushing over to your car and opening the door.

His arms instantly wrapped around you, his body acting like a huge cocoon of warmth and comfort for you. Sobbing into his chest- dirtying his hoodie with your tears- he rubbed your back and held you close, pressing his cheek to the top of your head. “What’s going on, hun?” His voice was soft and concerned in your ear, making you break down even harder. He gently picked you up bridal style and carried you inside the house, sitting down with you in his lap on the couch. “Gotta talk to me, sweets. Can’t help if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

“She's gone.” Your voice was scratchy and quiet. Schlatt’s heart broke seeing you like this. He didn’t know how to help you. His baby was sad, the little voice in his head whispered. Who was she? He was trying to remember if you mention anyone in recent history being close to death.

“Who’s gone?” He kept his voice gentle and rocked you in his lap a little.

“Remember the little girl who had cancer? The orphan?” He nodded- his heart sinking- and you sniffled, wiping the tears away. “H-Her cancer grew… blocked the oxygen from getting to her lungs.” You let out another heart wrenching sob and he held you closer, gently kissing your forehead. “I couldn’t help her, Jay…. I didn’t even see her cancer was growing! I failed her… I wasn’t with her when she died. I promised her I would be there with her!”

He shook his head and forced your chin up to look him in the eyes. “Babe, you did everything you could to help her. You had no control over what happened. She was sick, baby…. You did more for that little girl than anyone probably ever had before in her life.”

Knowing he was right, you nodded and leaned the side of your head against his chest, just trying to focus on his steady heartbeat in your ear. When you eventually stopped crying, you managed to get up to take a shower and get in pajamas. Luckily you had the next two days off. You probably would’ve called out anyway if you didn’t have them off. When you got out of the shower, you saw stuff laid out on your bed. A smile formed on your face. They were little gifts Jay got for you while he was away. He always did that for you when he went on a trip, but this time it just felt so much more substantial. After looking at what they were, you heard him in the kitchen.

A frown formed on your face when your mind started racing. He was always doing things for you. Always comforting you on bad days, always buying you things you’ve shown interest in, face timing you on your breaks at work just to try and make you laugh because he knows how rough your job is. He was always just there. Your heart started racing. This wasn’t just a crush, this was love. You were in love with him.

Gaining all the courage you could possibly muster at that moment, you rushed out of your room and to where he was in the kitchen. He was making food for the both of you. He looked up at you and smiled. “Good shower? Help a little bit? I’m making this chicken thing Ted told me to try-” Before he could say anything else, you grabbed his face and kissed him. His hands took a second to land on your hips, but when they did, he pulled you close and kissed you back, letting out a soft grunt. Fuck. It was so much better than you ever imagined. His lips were so soft and tasted like cherry chapstick, his facial hair lightly scratched at your cheeks in the best way possible, his hands roamed the length of your back, keeping you pressed up close against him.

When you finally pulled away, his eyes were wide with shock, lips parted and tongue nervously running across his bottom lip. “I love you.” The words came out before you could stop them, and you saw a deep red spread across his cheeks and nose, a smile forming on his lips. “Damnit Jonathan, say something!” Your voice came out needier than you wanted it to, but it got the message across because his lips landed on yours again, sucking out the last bit of anxiety left in your body.

Your arms wrapped around his neck and you moaned softly into his mouth. He pulled away after a few seconds and pressed his forehead against yours, lightly rubbing his nose against yours, smiling wide. You giggled and he started peppering your face with soft kisses, making you blush a bright scarlett. “God, I love you too, toots.” His voice was laced with amusement and just pure adoration. He couldn’t even believe what was happening. You in his arms, your lips on his. It was everything he imagined and more.

He vowed to you that he’d treat you like the princess you are, promising to never cause you pain or heartache. Because why would he do anything less. You were his girl now. He wasn’t just gonna let it go. He was forever and always yours, and you were his.

-- Bree <3

————————-

Someone give me ideas of what to write with him or Ted 😭 I don’t have anymore ideas

[t4t4tclethian]

The moment Joel realizes he has a crush on xB is, objectively, quite a funny one. He’d almost certainly be laughing about it if it had been anyone else. As it is, though, he’s hopping mad, extremely indignant, and deeply embarrassed about the whole thing. Who ever heard of a hitman falling for their mark? (Well, a lot of people have- it’s a whole romance cliche for a reason. But it wasn’t supposed to actually happen!)

(ao3 link)

————————————————

It had all started a few days earlier, when Joel had been hanging out with the other Magical Mountaineers in the breakroom. Gem and Impulse were poring over some papers together, Skizz was on a phone call in the corner, Mumbo was politely watching as Scar fumbled through some magic tricks, and Grian was sitting on the couch with Joel, listening to him rant about his failures at killing xB (he’d drawn the short straw). Everything was normal.

And then, when Joel paused his tirade to take a breath, Grian said those fatal words. “From the way you talk about this guy, Joel, it’s almost like you’ve got a crush on the mark!”

Which was ridiculous, of course! He does blummin’ not, thank you! His relationship with xB was a perfectly platonic contract killing, and Joel is a professional! He knows better than to fall for his target, and he indignantly tells Grian as much.

But, of course, Grian is Grian, and the second he senses he’s touched a nerve he doubles down. And so he did.

“Contract killing? Give me a break, Joel! Your contract on this guy expired ages ago, and you’re not the type to work for free.” Grian’s eyes twinkled with mischief as he continued to needle at Joel. “Admit it, there’s something else going on here, isn’t there?”

Joel spluttered, and took a deep breath as he glanced around the room. Fuck. Everyone had stopped what they were doing to listen in on him and Grian now. He had to say something to throw them off or he would never be able to live this conversation down.

“My contract might be done, but unlike some people I finish the things I start, thank you very much!”

Grian squawked in indignation, and as he did so the others chuckled and turned back to their own conversations, unfounded accusations of romance forgotten. Grian’s tendency to leave things unfinished was well-known, and something that every assassin at Magic Mountain had teased him over many times.

But that thought refused to leave his brain. It had wiggled its way in like a worm. Did he have a crush on xB? Is that why he kept coming back when any sane person would’ve just given it up already? And the answer, of course, is no. All of Joel’s actions here have perfectly reasonable and professional explanations.

————————————————————

Joel waits patiently on the rooftop across from Horse Head Farmer’s Market (which, despite the name, is actually a grocery store/money laundering scheme, not a farmer’s market), rifle at the ready, just as he has been for the past three and a half hours. You can’t rush a good sniping, after all, and xB’s schedule varies enough that Joel’s never quite sure when he’ll head out for lunch. (He’s pretty sure xB has done this specifically to spite Joel- the guy’s obsessed with him.)

Yes! Finally! xB steps out of the store, starts walking down the street, and- turns to look at Joel’s rooftop, makes direct eye contact with him, and gives him a friendly little wave, the infuriatingly sincere kind that makes Joel want to kill him even more. Dammit. He’s been caught. Also, wow, even from here Joel is a little wowed by how blue xB’s eyes are. Or maybe he’s just remembering how they look, because there’s no way Joel can actually see his eyes from here. They are definitely a very nice blue, though, and oh, huh, Joel realizes that Lizzie has blue eyes, too. Maybe he’s got a thing for blue-eyed people, and- OH SHIT RIGHT HE’S KILLING THIS GUY.

Joel fires, because even if he’s been discovered a vantage point is still a vantage point. Of course, xB somehow manages to not be in the bullet’s path, just like he always does, and then he gives Joel a disapproving look, like he’s actually disappointed Joel didn’t do a better job at trying to kill him.

God, he’s so cute, Joel’s brain has the audacity to think, like it’s trying to add insult to insult to injury. To Joel’s horror, he realizes in this moment that he’s had dozens, maybe even hundreds of thoughts like this, that just slipped through the cracks and went unnoticed.

Then, xB smiles at him again before heading on his way, and Joel falls off of the rooftop. He has time to think, Oh, I’m gonna kill Grian, as he plummets towards the ground. And then, everything goes dark, and he dies.

[glitterguts13]

Which genshin make character do you think makes the most sounds I.e screaming, begging, sobbing, groaning, panting etc… during birth?

My personal bets would be on Aether. He just seems like he would just be such a wreck when he goes into labour, panting and groaning with each push, begging the doctor there to pull the baby out.

He probably starts sobbing quietly when he gets told he can’t push, but he's quite submissive and listens to the doctor.

Bonus points in that he’s also super shy during labour because the doctor likes him bare, a bunch of people are holding back his legs staring at him as he pushes. His noises seem even louder because the room is so quiet besides him. 🥺

Poor baby has some of the most painful births.

How about I do you one better and give you an in-depth review of all the male characters and how loud I think they'd giving birth? Is this entirely too long and unnecessary? Yes, but who the fuck cares. Hopefully, I didn't miss anyone. Also just a reminder since we don't have canon ages, everyone here is assumed to be 18+

Mondstadt Albedo

5/10 Starts off very calm and collected. He's focused on his goal, and he's done plenty of research on the matter at hand. So confident in fact, he only asks for assistance from Sucrose, and feels it completely pointless to reach out for help from any midwife or doctor. About halfway through, he starts to get more vocal, with low moans and heavy pants. It certainly is more intense than he expected. But the time he's he's on his knees pushing, he's full-on cursing and pleading for it to be over. Never gets to the point of screaming, but he's certainly not quiet.

Bennett

8/10

It doesn't take much to get Bennett to start moaning and groaning in pain. Sure, he's got shit luck, but his pain tolerance is awfully low. He seeks out help from the local doctor and is chastised several times for being too loud and frightening other patients. Gets on his hands and knees to push, screaming the whole way through, no matter how much the nurses tell him to quiet down.

Diluc

2/10

Quiet. So quiet it's almost concerning. The baby is nearly crowning before you so much as hear a whimper from him, and even then he's deep breathing his way through it. Occasional soft moans, but only when he thinks no one can hear him. The doctors are rather impressed with him. Kaeya

6/10

Stubborn fool, refuses any and all medical assistance. Handles the first part of labor with only a few groans and annoyed huffs. Gets more vocal as it goes, pacing around and rocking his hips to help the baby move lower. Never full-on screams while pushing, but there is a lot of yelling and swearing and threatening. Mika

7/10

Handles the first half of labor and most of the middle pretty well. Pacing around his room, chatting with the nurses. However, once he starts to transition it's a whole other situation. He's on his knees, screaming bloody murder begging for someone to make it stop. The nurses have to haul him back into bed and pin his legs down to keep him from kicking the doctor in the face. Razor

4/10

Razor just returns to the woods when he feels his labor starting. Doctors make him nervous, and he doesn't want a midwife either. Might not be the most sanitary thing, but the woods are where he's most comfortable and this is where he wants to have his baby. Lots of low groans and growls sound more feral than painful. Only starts to shout a little as the head begins to crown, but even then it isn't all that much.

Venti

6/10

Shockingly not as bad as you'd think. Honestly, I feel like Venti has had a lot of kids over the years, and maybe it's just because he's been through so much, he's pretty chill through the first half. Once the contractions start ramping up, he's huffing and puffing, moaning and groaning. Lets out a few screams while pushing, but always seems to have rather quick births. Never seeks out medical attention.

Liyue

Baizhu

6/10

Very calm at first. He's delivered many children in his time as a doctor, so he's not at all unprepared. He sips on tea and slowly breathes his way through each wave of pain, closing his eyes and bracing himself. Once he starts to push he gets more vocal, shouting and crying, exhausted and weak. He doesn't have the physical strength to push the baby out quickly, so he's struggling for a good long time.

Chongyun

7/10

He gets pretty loud halfway through, mostly moaning. He can't sit still, constantly getting up and down, squatting and kneeling. Everything is just so uncomfortable. The midwives help him, but when it comes time to push they have to keep reminding him to stop screaming, it's only wasting his strength.

Gaming

9/10

Has no pain tolerance for this. He's already crying as soon as labor starts and doesn't stop the whole way. The doctors have to strap his legs up for his own safety as he keeps tossing and turning while trying to push, desperately shutting his legs to keep the head from popping free while he screams for them to just pull it out.

Xiao

1/10

Jesus Christ he barely makes so much as a whimper. No one even knows he's in labor till he's reaching between his legs and lifting a crying baby into his arms. Catches everyone off guard, all they heard were a few soft pants and deep breaths.

Xingqiu

8/10

Starts off very collected and together. His family hires a well-known midwife to tend to him, but like Gaming, he has no pain tolerance. He's screaming and moaning from start to finish. His legs had to be held back because he refused to push, the pain was just too intense.

Zhongli

1/10

Like Xiao, you aren't going to have a clue until he's literally pushing his baby out into his hands. A few low moans maybe, and some deep breathing, but Zhongli is literally a stone wall while in labor.

Inazuma

Arataki Itto

6/10

Not loud in a screaming way, but his moaning is astoundingly loud. Long, low, and drawn out, he's moaning through each contraction like it's a lifeline. Chatters away between contractions but as soon as the pain hits, his head is down and he's moaning away. A few yells and cries as the baby is born, but never a real scream. Gives birth alone, the doctors and midwives don't want to deliver the child of an Oni.

Gorou

7/10

Gives birth with the aid of Kokomi. She's helped deliver babies for others in the army before and was thrilled when Gorou shyly asked her for help bringing his pups into the world. Gorou is very shy about making too much noise and stifles it through most of his labor. However, when it comes time to push, he's a wreck. Shrieking and shouting, trembling all over with tears running down his face. Doesn't help he's got at least three pups in his belly waiting to be born.

Kazuha

4/10

Mostly quiet, but he does start to pant and moan near the end. If he wasn't around the doctor of The Crux he would most likely be louder, but he feels too embarrassed to be making a scene. A few cries as the baby is born, but it isn't much.

Kamisato Ayato

3/10

Stoic through most of the birth, mainly because it's expected of him. As head of the family, he can't go making a scene with a bunch of screaming and crying, so he's forced to keep it all inside. Slow, even breathing, and a couple of deep, throat moans while actively pushing.

Heizou

6/10

Very typical birth honestly. Seeks the help of a doctor in Inazuma and follows instructions nicely. Deep breathing, low moans, and a few panicked screams as the baby starts to crown.

Thoma

5/10

Like Heizou, he's very typical. Follows the instructions of the midwife the Kamisato family hired to tend to him. Paces a lot, and tries to keep cleaning even while in labor. Starts begging for it to stop while in the transition phase, and gets louder from there on out. The midwife gets onto him multiple times for being too dramatic.

Sumeru

AlHaitham

2/10

A lot like Xiao and Zhongli, he's extremely quiet. He's a little more vocal at the end while pushing. Mostly grunting his way through each push, and gasping for air as he finishes. Not much else though, the doctor and nurses tending to him are very impressed by how well he handled it.

Cyno

4/10

The moron gives birth out in the middle of the desert because he refused to be fussed over. Tighnari has to go out and find him but fails to drag him home before Cyno is moaning about the baby coming out right this second- A few loud shouts and the baby is born, very quickly.

Kaveh

10/10

From the second his labor starts, everyone knows. He's moaning, groaning, crying, screaming, panting, gagging all of the sounds you can imagine. Swears he hears a nurse mumble something about taping his mouth shut at some point. The whole hospital is trying to get him to calm down, he's not even halfway through, but Kaveh just cries harder. Has to be held down while pushing because he kept flailing about, screaming bloody murder the whole way.

Tighnari

5/10

Very calm about the whole thing. Like Baizhu, he's delivered babies before. Mostly on accident because no one else was around to help, but still, he knew what to expect. Has his pups at home, very good about steady breathing and not wasting energy on being noisy. Only starts to get loud at the end, because like Gorou, his kind have litters and one baby is hard enough to get out, let alone three.

Fontaine

Freminet

4/10

Dead silent through most of it aside from some labored breathing and quiet moans. Does scream some at the end though, while the baby is crowning. He gives birth at home with his siblings, they wouldn't allow anyone near him anyway.

Lyney

6/10

Much more vocal than Freminet but not overly loud. A lot more huffing and puffing, waddles around their home the whole time until he can't stand any longer. Definitely starts screaming towards the end and while pushing, his pain tolerance isn't as high as his siblings.

Neuvillette

4/10

Will not allow anyone near him while he labors. He's shut off from the world, held up in his house. Shuffles about, but mainly rests in his bathtub, the water keeping him calm. Slow, even breaths, a few moans here and there. Cries some while pushing, but never gets much louder than a shout.

Wrio

5/10

Pretty much the same as Neuvillette, but gets more vocal towards the end. A lot of moaning, very loud and guttural. Let's the medical staff at the prison take care of him, and because of his rank, no one makes any comments on how loud he's being.

Fatui

Dottore

??/10

No ones anything about what this man does in private, and honestly, it's probably better that way. In all seriousness though, he's very quiet, scarily so. It's like he doesn't even feel the pain at all.

Capitano

1/10 Not so much as a whimper. Dead silent through the whole thing.

Pantalone

6/10

Starts off very collected and slowly breaks down into a panicked mess. He doesn't handle pain well, and by the time he's pushing, it's all screams and swears.

Pierro

1/10 Again, no sound. Doesn't face him beyond an occasional flinch.

Tartaglia

4/10

Handles it very well, with lots of slow breathing and pacing. He's been there for the birth of his siblings, so he's fully prepared for what's to come. Gets a little loud while pushing, but never more than a few deep moans.

Wanderer

7/10

Won't let anyone near him. Most of the moaning and screams are coming from panic over pain, a lot of flashbacks to what Dottore has done to him over the decades. He'll never admit just how much it hurts, but he's very vocal regardless.

[dracobrooklyn]

Durge Headcannon #2

|| MDNI || 18+

Durge's relationship towards the other Party Members If you don't know, this is about if Cannon Durge was a Companion instead of a playable character. These are my headcannons so not everything is cannon. If you want more Durge check this Masterlist here

also the Tav!Reader is in a Fem!POV

CW: threesome, murder, and killing.

Durge very much is in love with Tav!Reader, after connecting with you, how kind and patient you are with the White Dragonborn. He very much loves the way you comfort him, how you talk to him almost anything that comes to your mind, he loves listening to your voice. So How does he feel about the other Members of your party around you? And around him?

Astarion

Safe to Say Durge isn't a huge fan of Astarion. The pale elf being very much cocky, arrogant, and never gives you any respect. Durge glares maybe even curls a lip growling softly. He could care less about what happens to the elf. Even when he found out he is a vampire! He quickly get's over protective over you, a slave to Sanguine. He wasn't gonna let you get bitten by this coward. If Astarion tries to flirt with you, Durge comes up from behind you protective. Besides Durge want's you, he be a better match than Astarion. He actually cares about you, this vampire just wants you as a blood bag that's all. Even when you and Durge become a couple, and Astarion offers to join you both in a threesome, Durge would flat out say no, end of story, he rather smear Knoll shit onto his face than let Astarion share the same bed roll with you. He's fine with you and Astarion being friends but... if Astarion tries to pull something on you, Durge won't hesitate to beat the shit out of him... maybe kill him if he get's away with it.

Shadowheart

He does not mind the half elf girl, the cleric that isn't too bad around you. She does at least give you some sort of respect as an ally and maybe even a friend. Shadowheart might be one of the few people that maybe notices Durges feelings towards you. She even was amused with the idea but even questioned, how would a DragonBorn be like in a relationship. Though Durge is a strange one, especially when he has no memories of his past. She might even be protective of you the reader if she finds out what Durge has done hurting and killing their enemies. The way he does it, if it's over the top. Shadowheart will confront Durge about it. She be weary of him and tell you if she is not sure if Durge can be trusted.

Karlach

Durge actually likes Karlach. Despite her very positive upbeat attitude. He does like her, she treats with you respect, is kind to you, and does not talk down to you. I like to think Karlach kinda finds Durge attractive. Being a DragonBorn and all, she may even might notice Durges smitten face when he looks at you in love. Like a love sick puppy. She smile and comes up from behind him giving him a good slap on the back and say "twitterpated aren't we solider?" causing Durge to trip on his words blushing trying to change the subject while she has a shit eating grin showing her sharp teeth. She might even try to hook you two up. Maybe... maybe even join in the sex action. Durge might actually consider it... if she didn't burn you both. He would say yes as long you were okay with it of course if you were interested. But if Karlach (like Shadowheart) finds out what kind of things Durge did. Oh boy oh boy, consider the friendship bracelet gone. She would get in between you and Durge glaring at him burning with anger. (no pun intended)

Lae'Zel

Heh uh... she may like Durge because of his blood thirsty fight in battle. And he may appercaite that... but if she calls you weak and useless because you are not as battle hungry as she is. Durge will snarl. Step right up to her and speak up. "I will you not have you speak so lowly of her, she's the one that got you out of that trap, she's the one that saved the druids grove with our help, she is the one keeping the peace between all of us, you should thank her, because I would have ripped your arm off." causing the Githyanki woman to narrow her eyes at him. She might tsk at him or making the last retort walking away from him. Durge won't interact with Lae'zel unless he really has to. But if she threatens to hurt you, he will not hesitate to rip her apart. Oh if she even tries to seduce Durge, he will lean so close to her face in a low whisper "Even if you and were the only ones in this plain of existence, I would rather be a mindflayer than share a bedroll with you." And honestly that might hurt her a little but she won't show it of course. Durge heart is only to you, and only you.

Wyll

Would they be dude bros? Maybe? Durge does not mind Wyll at all. The man has honor, he's protective, he treat you with respect and that's what Matters to Durge. Though if he does come a little close towards you, Durge makes a look at him as if "nu uh, mine." Wyll would get the message though. Like Karlach he might even help Durge hook up with you. Give Durge advice what to say but most importantly Wyll will just tell Durge to be himself. Yeah which one? Durge also would also feel bad for Wyll with his mishap being a warlock and all. Durge would definitely spit down at Mizora feet just to stand up for Wyll. Fuck that bitch honestly.

Gale

Funny guy... stop flirting with my girlfriend don't you already have a lover? Durge very much has mixed feelings with this guy. He can be useful but when he learns that he needs to eat magic items to live or else he will explode and die? WHAT? Why the hell is he with party again? Oh cause he's infected too. When he learns about how his lover is goddess, I mean yeah he must think she is pretty-- oh she's actually a goddess. Oh... poor chap. He definitely would be a little jealous that Durge has you instead of him, but he would give Durge advice to "Seduce" a woman. Durge not sure if they would work... maybe one night he will use that advice. Maybe... eh. But Durge wouldn't pity Gale for doing that to himself where he explode not given enough magic items to eat. Also ticks Durge off cause he finds an item he can use to kill enemies and then Gale looks at him as if saying "for me?" while Durge growls wanting to roll his eyes in the back of his head pissed and just hands it to him. Also Wizards vs Sorcerer. Mortals enemies for life (no just kidding). But Gale will boast about being better than Durge when it comes to magic causing the DragonBorn to give Gale a side glance glare. "At least I was born with magic and don't have to kill myself for it." Durge would say causing Gale to frown.

[cevansbrat0007]

The Lonely Hearts Club: Part Two

Summary: Full Story! Breaking up with Andrew Barber is hard to do. You of all people should know, considering you just tried. Now what? Read Part One.

Warnings: Mature Themes, Angst, Discussions of Break-ups, Fun with Exes, Jealousy, Andy Being a Menace, Confident Reader, Eventual Smut, Cursing, Expect Additional Future Warnings, Minors DNI

A/N: Dedicated to @atkissoflife, @that-one-anxious-mango, and @piscesmermaidprincess. This multi-part fic features a combination of requests from the likes of @writer84, @lexivass, @moejdaw, and several others. It is also, part of my ongoing Growing Pains Series. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

___

February 15th - 12:25am - Los Angeles, CA

Wow. Just...wow.

You stare down at your phone as you wait for the bartender to bring you your check. While you had initially been prepared for Andy to be upset over your note, as well as your pretty abrupt departure, you certainly hadn't expected this.

If anything, he seemed almost...unbothered. By all of it. Granted, it was sometimes hard to gauge a person's tone via text. But you'd also been in a relationship with the man for the better part of six freaking months! At this point, one could argue that you were practically fluent in Andrew Barber and all of his fucking moods.

The guy was up to something, without a doubt. Which meant that you were now officially on high alert. Because your man - your ex - had never been the type to play fair.

Especially where you were concerned. You should've known that it was gonna take a hell of a lot more than a handwritten letter and a box of artisanal muffins to knock some sense into his stubborn ass.

"Argh! You are such a fucking ogre, Andrew!" You groan, burying your face in your hands. "Why can't you ever make things easy?"

The next time you look up it's to see the bartender returning with your credit card. She goes to hand it over, only for you to interrupt her mid-sentence.

What was her name again? You could've sworn it started with a "D".

"Sorry, I know I said I was ready to close out. But since men are stupid, I think I'm gonna need another margarita. Quite possibly two."

Delta gives you a sympathetic nod before pocketing your card once more. "You got it, sweetie. Still want sugar instead of salt?"

"Yes, please." You mumble, reminding yourself that it was okay to feel annoyed. Because you were. This was supposed to be your time, damn it. You deserved to take some space for yourself!

Even if it meant sitting alone at a hotel bar, missing the one person you loved more than anything, the day after motherfucking Valentine's Day. Cheers, bitches.

___

Two Weeks Later – Somewhere in Downtown Boston

Andrew Barber stares blankly at his computer screen, mindlessly tapping his index finger against his temple as a fresh wave of anger courses through his veins. 

He’d been so good the last two weeks. So patient and understanding. He’d given you your space, just like you’d asked. Never intruding with the exception of the text he shot off that night.

Even when he’d come across your latest Instagram post from a few days ago showing off your apparent date with another man. Some pretentious looking fucker who went by Russell Cromwell. You two had looked real cozy while sharing a plate full of Birria tacos. And then you’d posed outside of the restaurant with your arms wrapped around his waist. 

But the real kicker had been the last photo in the carousel. The one where you’d kissed him on the cheek – when you’d done the “knee thing” that actresses used to do in those old black and white movies you loved to watch so much.

Oh yeah. The two of you would be having a discussion about that one real soon. His wayward Baby Girl could count on that shit. 

Honestly, you had no idea how hard falling back had been for him. It had been a real struggle. Because at his core, Andrew Barber was a man of action. He was well-known for his cunning and mental prowess. This was a man who had graduated at the top of his class, who had then gone on to become the youngest District Attorney in the city of Boston’s history. 

And in times of crisis, he was someone you could count on to remain calm and collected while you worked towards a solution. Nothing could shake him, save for the trial and media circus that had briefly surrounded his late son. 

After that particular tragedy, Andy had resigned himself to being alone. Forever. He often tried to convince himself that he preferred it that way. Andrew Barber didn’t do love. Not after what happened with his ex-wife, Laurie. He was better off living a life of no commitment. 

Even if it meant a lot of lonely nights filled with a seemingly endless revolving door of meaningless one-night stands. 

And then he’d met you. 

Yes, you.

The woman who had somehow, against all odds, brought magic back into his life. Your laugh, your smile, your very presence – it colored his whole goddamn world. He told you that all of the time, and yet it was almost as if you didn’t believe him.

At first, he was convinced that you were too good to be true. Although he’d been quickly dispelled of that notion when you’d had the balls to walk out on him during your very first date. It’s quite possible that he’d fallen for you right then – because you were the type of woman who knew her worth.

By then, Andy had become convinced that you were a gift from the universe. The way he saw it, after everything he’d been through, he was owed you. You were the woman of his dreams – his very salvation – all wrapped up in a curvy little package. And when you ran that night, it called to the primal part of him that felt compelled to give chase. 

Just like now.

But what you had yet to understand was that, once a man like Andrew Barber had deemed you his forever, there was no going back. There was no letting you go. No means of escape.

At most, he’d been granted you a temporary reprieve. You both needed time to assess the situation, survey the damage, and then calculate your next move. 

And sweetness, you’d already played your hand when you’d left that little note skipped town under the pretense of taking a fucking business trip.

Fine. Now it was on him. And while you still held most of the cards, that certainly didn’t mean that Andrew Barber was walking around without an ace or two in his back pocket. And you had better believe that he was more than ready to play his own. 

But first…he needed some fucking coffee. And lucky for him, he knew just where he could find the perfect cup – shot of chocolate, dash of cinnamon, hold the whip. 

___

Forty Minutes Later – Monarch Media Group (20 Minutes Outside Downtown Boston)

You lean back in your chair and rub your tired eyes. For the life of you, you simply couldn’t seem to focus today. Or any other day for the matter.

Even though it had been almost a week since you’d returned from your trip to L.A., you still felt just as conflicted about things with Andrew Barber as you did before you’d left. And not only that, but you also found yourself feeling on edge about the entire situation.

Because after your brief text exchange the morning of February 15th, he’d left you alone. The most impatient man you’d ever encountered this side of Boston had actually found it within himself to respect your wishes. 

No calls. No texts. No emails. Not even so much as a fucking smoke signal.

And while part of you was pleased with that particular development, there was no denying the fact that you missed your Big Man. 

You could be woman enough to admit it. You missed the hell out the handsome, grumpy-faced district attorney who, up until recently, had been a major mainstay in your life. But after some serious soul searching and a generous amount of tequila, you’d come to the conclusion that it was important for you to get your mind right before moving forward with anything.

You owed it to yourself to figure out who you were outside of your relationship with Andy – needed it even. Because that man was a force to be reckoned with. He could be so dominant sometimes, his personality so completely all-consuming that it was easy to lose yourself in him. 

To allow yourself to become so entirely eclipsed by his brilliant shadow. Which is something that could absolutely happen the moment you stopped paying attention to your own wants, and needs, and desires.

And if that ever were to happen, part of you wondered whether or not you would be able to find your way back. Honestly, you had no idea.

Because after all of this, if you chose to be with him…it would mean that you were all-in. There was no other option with him.

That beautifully stubborn man didn’t have a lower setting.   

However, the last thing you’d ever expected was for Mr. Andrew “My Way or the Highway” Barber to go quietly into that good night. Well, suppose you shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Because if anything he could very well be planning–

Your inner musings are interrupted by Anya, your favorite receptionist at Monarch Media Group. Granted, she was also the only receptionist at the company you’d worked for over the last several years, but that was neither here nor there.

Anya gives you a knowing look before taking a seat on the edge of your desk. “Hi, friend.” She lightly pokes your shoulder. “How ya doin?”

“I’m okay.” You blow out a breath and then decide to exit out of your Outlook. “What’s up?”

“Oh…nothing much.” You watch as your friend and coworker helps herself to a piece of chocolate sitting in a nearby dish. 

“Okay.”

“I just stopped by to tell you that your coffee has arrived.” She dutifully unwraps it before popping it in her mouth.

“What?”

You hadn’t ordered any coffee. You didn’t usually even drink the stuff this late in the day. Unless…

“Yep. And just so happens, it was hand-delivered by the handsomest door-dasher I ever did see.” Anya pokes your shoulder again. “I would’ve accepted it on your behalf, but the guy insists on giving it to you himself. Probably angling for a tip if you ask me.” She throws you a conspiratorial wink for good measure.

Speak of the devil. Hello, Mr. Andrew “Check Out My Shit Timing” Barber.

“Ugh.” You bury your head in your hands to muffle your cry of frustration. “Can you please just tell him I’m not here?”

“I’m afraid I already let that cat out of the bag. But by the look on your face and the way you’re rocking back and forth like a human pinball, I take it I shouldn’t have done that.”

“No!” 

“Did you and Andy like…break up…or something?” Anya pauses as she reaches for another piece of candy, her hand hovering in mid-air.

No, Anya. I always feel like jumping out the nearest window. I’m fucking squirrley like that.

“Yes. No. I don’t know.” You wail. “It’s just…it’s just really fucking complicated, okay?” 

“Gotcha. So…about the coffee…” 

“I’m going. I’m going.” You stand up in a huff, wishing you knew where you put the ponytail holder that had been on your wrist just this morning. “But if he pisses me off, I’m dumping that shit on his shoes. Hot or not. I do not care.”

“Okay, but if it comes to that can you please try to do it off company property? I’m all for you handling your business, but I’m also thinking about all the paperwork I’m gonna have to do if you accidentally injure one of the city’s hottest attorneys.”

“Fuck you.” You grumble as you stalk towards the front of the office to confront the annoying asshole who also happened to be the love of your life. 

“What can I say? I’m a selfish bitch.” She chirps, blowing you a kiss.

“Your words not mine. And stay the hell out of my chocolate, you mooch!” You call out as you turn the corner, fully intending to give the Boston D.A. a piece of your mind before you politely, and very firmly, shoved him out the door. 

Because if that man thought that he could just waltz right into your place of business and act like he owned everything and everyone, then he was sorely mistaken. You were going to prove to him, and whoever the hell’s job it was to oversee this whole godforsaken cosmos, that you knew how to stand your ground.  

The sight of him standing right there in the lobby is easily enough to temporarily rob you of all reasonable thought. His back is to you, giving you the brief opportunity to give him a thorough once-over. His tailored white dress shirt is rolled up at the sleeves, exposing his brawny forearms. But what really draws your attention are his slate gray slacks, which only serves to highlight his perfectly sculpted backside. 

He looked good. Nobody deserved to look that damned good, least of all your ex-boyfriend. 

Wait. Is that – is that what he was now? Is…is that how all of this worked? Fuck! 

You note the lack of tension in his broad shoulders. All things considered, he seemed pretty relaxed. But the real question was…how long could it be expected to last?

Andy picks that moment to turn around, his bright blue eyes locking with your own as an eager grin slowly spreads its way across his handsome features. You take a steadying breath and choose to ignore it. 

“Andrew.” You exhale, trying your best to appear unaffected by his presence. It was a lie, of course. But if you managed to keep this unexpected interaction short and sweet, you just might be able to pull it off. “Wh–what are you doing here?”

“Hi.” He cocks his head to the side as he drinks you in, almost as if he’s amused by your disgruntled demeanor.

“Hello.” You cross your arms over your chest, wishing that you had chosen to wear a different sweater today. Andy loved you in this color, especially because of how it paired with your particular skin tone. 

“Happy Wednesday, baby.” 

God, he really needed to lose that stupid smile. Otherwise, how on earth were you supposed to maintain your composure? 

“Sure.”

“Brought you something.” Andy holds out one of the cups of coffee he’s carrying. “Figured you might be able to use a little pick-me-up.” 

“Thanks, but I’m good.” You tell him with a shake of your head. 

“What? Since when?” He rears back before offering up a playful pout. “We always get coffee together on Wednesdays. It’s our thing…our little afternoon delight.” This time you’re treated to a wink.

“Shh!” You hiss, bridging the distance between your bodies to slap a hand across his mouth. “Don’t say that!” 

The last thing you needed was someone to overhear that and think you two used to sneak away sometimes in the afternoon to…to well…you know. Some of the people you worked with possessed very vivid imaginations.

And besides, that whole afternoon delight business had only happened once or twice. Okay, quite possibly four and a half times – and then one more after that. 

Amusement sparkles in his gaze as he stares you down. And then you feel the faint flick of his tongue brush across your palm. When you don’t react he does it again, this time following it up with an exaggerated groan. 

You immediately jerk your hand away as if you’ve just been burned. Knowing that things were only bound to get worse, you snatch one of the coffees before grabbing his arm and dragging him outside and into the unseasonably warm weather. 

Thank goodness for small favors.

The smell of spring was definitely in the air these days, but all you can focus on is the sound of Andy’s laughter trailing behind you. Frankly, it’s enough to set your teeth on edge. Even still, he allows you to lead him down the street. At some point there’s a slight shift that results in your relinquishing his arm so that he can lace his fingers through yours.   

But you'll allow it if it means that he’ll behave for as long as it takes to make it to your destination. Which just so happens to be an empty bench located at the edge of a nearby park.

To his credit, the attractive buttface at your side doesn’t say anything during your impromptu power walk, but he also doesn’t need to. Because after two long weeks without you, the man was probably venturing into serious touch-starved territory. 

You knew it. And so did he. So part of you didn’t see the harm in giving him this one, small thing.  

Relief fills you when you finally reach the bench. Of course Andy sits first before pulling you down with him – but thankfully not onto his lap. Although you’re positive that the thought was there.

Eventually he lets go of your hand. Unsure of what else to do, you finally take a sip of your coffee. The rich, slightly bitter flavor of chocolate and mocha bursts onto your tongue, followed immediately by a quick hint of cinnamon.

Mm. A perfect cup.

“I’ve missed you, baby girl.” Andy’s large, lightly calloused hand cups your face – the roughened pad of his thumb caressing the curve of your cheek. “It hasn’t been a very fun couple of weeks.”

“I know.” You whisper as you lean into his touch and your eyes flutter closed. Perhaps you were just as starved for affection as he was. “I’m sorry.”

“Did you miss me?” His tone is gruff, but there’s no mistaking the emotion behind his words. Or the pain in his eyes for that matter. 

“I did, Andy.” So much.

“But you still left. Tried to break up with me before hopping on a plane and running off all the way to L.A. to share some chips and queso with good ol’ Rusty.” Your eyes fly open as Andy’s hand drops away. “Or did I read that wrong?” 

How the fuck had he known where you where? You hadn’t included anything about your intended destination in your letter…

“I saw it on your Instagram, in case you were wondering. Was actually able to use that stupid account you set up for me after all.” His teeth sink into his bottom lip as he narrows his gaze, trying to read your expression. “Couldn’t really get much else, although I enjoyed those pics of you at the beach.”

“It was a work trip.” You remind him, suddenly feeling defensive. “And Russell is an old friend, nothing more.”

“Hm.” Andy quirks an annoyed brow. “Are we talking about the kind of friend who also  accompanies you to the beach so you can show off your brand new bikini? Not that I’m complaining any about that gorgeous, sunkissed glow you’ve got going on, princess.” 

His big body is certainly tense, but there’s no ignoring the feral gleam in his eyes. Almost as if he’s dying to undress you and spend the next several hours checking you for tan lines. 

And he would, too. It’s not like it would be the first time. 

“I went alone. Russell stayed behind for that one.” You roll your eyes at the sight of his nostrils flaring. “Jesus Christ, dude! I know you may not believe that I’m a big girl, but I am. And if I wanna go hang out at the beach by myself, then that’s exactly what I’m gonna do!”

Which was exactly what the fuck you’d done. And it had been positively marvelous. 

“Fine.” He grunts, raising his palm towards the heavens. “God forgive me for having the sense to worry about my girl, especially since the last time I checked, she still couldn’t swim for shit.”

“Whatever, Andrew. This girl does whatever the hell she wants now, so you had better get used to it.” Your mouth is set in a thin, firm line while you silently dare him to disagree.

“I’m not quite sure how that’s different from any other day with you, but alright.” Andy tries to calm himself by playing with a stray curl that’s fallen free from your bun. “You’re still mine, sweetness. Even when you insist on being a brat. Or did you somehow forget that part?”

You swat at his hand instead of responding, hating that steady feeling of warmth that was currently pooling in your belly. 

“Did you?”

You make a show of ignoring him in favor of enjoying what was left of your coffee.

“You know, they say that sometimes silence speaks louder than words, baby girl.” You find yourself resisting the urge to clench your thighs together at the sound of the dark chuckle that rumbles through his chest. “It’s alright, though. Guess I’ll just have to remind you again once we get past this little wall you’re trying to put up between us.”

He gifts you with a flash of his pearly white teeth. Andrew Barber was the type of man who would only let you get away with so much before he put his foot down. And you would do well to remember that. 

“Pretty sure you meant to say “actions”, jackass.” Apparently he finds your acerbic wit funny as well.

“Eh, I’ve heard it both ways.” Andy shrugs before going back to toying with your curls. “But I think you should know that I’m not very happy with you, baby. And I’m trying to be patient here, but it’s kinda difficult when I can’t even get you to talk to me.”

“I was going to call you…” That wasn’t a lie. You had just been trying to drum up the mental fortitude you knew it would take to pick up the phone and actually dial his number. Sometimes, dealing with Andrew Barber could require some serious patience. 

“Were you now?” He doesn’t believe you. You can hear it in his voice.

“I was.”

“Okay, then have dinner with me tonight.” He releases your curl, watching the way it bounces as it springs free.

“Andy.” You let out an exhausted sigh.

“Meet me at my place. I’ll swing by Imperial Wok and pick up a few of your favorites so we can eat. And then we can talk in a quiet, private setting without any interruptions. How does that sound, princess?”

“Wonderful.” The word slips out before you can catch it. “But I–I can’t.”

Andrew Barber’s excited smile dies on his lips the moment that phrase reaches his ears and registers in his brain. As much as you hated to admit it, being alone with this man wasn’t a very good idea right now – especially behind closed doors.

Because while you’d never seen the man in court, you’d definitely heard plenty of stories about his ruthlessness. And you knew firsthand just how persistent he could be when he was determined to get his way. 

When Andy wanted something, he didn’t stop until he got it. Not only was he relentless, but he also wasn’t above using every tool at his disposal – including sex – if it meant having you back in his life. It wouldn’t matter all that much to him how it came about.

The same way he wouldn’t care if whether or not your desired reconciliation only happened because he’d lured you into his bed before fucking you back into submission. 

“The fu–why the hell not?” He growls, his hand grips the arm of the wooden bench so hard his knuckles go white.

“Because I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?” The pronounced tick in his jaw makes it clear that he’s beyond frustrated by your refusal. 

Unfortunately, that was too damned bad! By the time this was all said and done, your handsome ogre was going to have mastered the art of having some goddamned patience. At least you hoped that would be the case…

“Both.” You offer your Big Man a small apologetic smile as you rise from your seat. “Let’s plan for sometime next week. Maybe we can shoot for Monday. I’ll, uh, send you a text or something and we can find a place to meet. But I really need to get back to work now.”

Andy stares at you for what feels like a full minute as his impressive brain works overtime to figure out his next move. And then he stands up before taking your empty cup and discarding them both in a nearby trash bin.

“Alright.” He mutters with a nod in your direction. “I guess I’ll just have to wait for your message then. Now, let’s get you back to your office.” A lump forms in your throat when he wraps a muscled arm around your shoulders as you two begin walking back the way you came. 

Fuck, you really hated this shit. But if this relationship was ever going to have a chance of working, you had to continue standing your ground. Even though it hurt like hell.

“I, um...I know you said that we probably won’t be able to sit down and talk until next week. And I suppose I can understand where you’re coming from with that, but while I have you now…” He lightly coughs into his elbow.

You glance up at your hotshot attorney, trying to figure out where he was going with this so that you could potentially cut him off at the pass.

“I at least wanted to say “thank you” in person for still agreeing to help Lydia with the charity gala this Saturday. I’m sure that it wasn’t an easy decision for you, especially given how things have been between us lately. But I really do appreciate it. And, frankly, I’m sure the kids at St. Augustine’s do too.” 

You feel the blood drain from your face as the reminder of this weekend’s event all-but smacks in the face. “Shit!” You hiss, pulling away from Andy as you reach your building. “It’s this Saturday? Are you sure?”

 “I am.” He confirms, his eyes filled with surprise. “I just spoke with Lydia yesterday when I–”

“Fuck!” You exclaim as your hands fly to your hips, uncaring that you just interrupted whatever it was he was about to say. 

In all of the chaos, you’d completely forgotten that you had agreed to help the wife of one of Andy’s colleagues with her annual charity ball. Starting by arriving at the hotel early Saturday morning to aid in the event setup, before heading up to your room to get ready for the evening's festivities.

A room that had been booked during a time when you and Andy were on much better terms.     

“She did mention that she sent all of the volunteers an email a couple days ago with a list of instructions. Maybe it got buried in your inbox, baby.” He rests his hands on your biceps, giving you a reassuring squeeze. “But she is definitely expecting you and I’m afraid it’s probably too late for you to back out at this point.”

Deep down you knew he was right. And quite honestly, you wouldn’t even dream of doing something like this close to the actual date of the gala. But there was still the issue of having to share a hotel room with your ex.

Closing your eyes, you force yourself to take a deep breath. “I–I wouldn’t do that. I’m not that big of an asshole. I just don’t think it’s a good idea for us to share a room…” You trail off, hoping that he would at least be somewhat understanding of your current plight.

“Ahh.” You can see the moment when realization finally dawns. “Right. Almost forgot about that.”

No, he actually hadn’t. But since Andy didn’t feel as though there was any real need for you to know that, he was going to keep that particular tidbit to himself. Even he was capable of showing some restraint every now and again.   

“Like I said…” You find yourself anxiously bouncing on your toes. “I don’t think –”

“I get it, sweetheart.” 

Wait. He did? Just like that?

“You do?”

“I do.” His words are accompanied by a lopsided grin. 

He didn’t. But then again, you didn’t need to know that either.

Andy’s hands leave your arms so that he can tenderly cup the sides of your face instead. “You just leave it all to me, baby girl. I’ll call the hotel and change the reservations.”

“You will?” You place your smaller hands overtop of his own. “You…you don’t mind?”

“Not at all.” Andy leans down to press a sweet kiss to your forehead. “And I promise to be on my best behavior Saturday night.” He gives you another kiss, which you allow. “If you want, I’ll even send over the updated confirmation info.” 

“Thank you.” You murmur, wishing that you could give-in just a little more and offer up your lips for a kiss. A real one this time. 

But you couldn’t afford to do that. Not even when Mr. Andrew “Give Me A Gold Star For Being Helpful” Barber was acting sweet. That would only throw everything off balance all over again. 

Andy’s heated gaze drops to your mouth before he slowly pulls away. “Don’t work too hard, okay?” His husky voice sends one last tiny flutter through your belly. 

“Same goes for you.” You tell him as you begin to head into the building.

“Goodbye, baby girl.” 

“Goodbye, Andrew. See you Saturday.” 

He waits until you’re safely inside and out of sight before turning on his heel and proceeding in the direction of his car. Oh, you’d be seeing him on Saturday alright. And he would be on his best behavior – depending on just how much patience he could muster. 

You two would be sorting this shit out then, whether you liked it or not. When it was over, you’d both spend the rest of the weekend making up for lost time. And Andrew was going to do everything in his power to ensure you enjoyed every fucking second of it. Just like he planned to enjoy getting reacquainted with that delicate sweetness between those luscious thighs. But first…

He needed to go make a call.

END

*Part Three Coming Soon...*

___

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[review-anon]

Thoughts on Kokichi Ouma?

Oh boy. Kokichi.

He's a complicated mess as if you recall my tier list he's quite low down.

Yet characters of a similar archetype to him are way higher so what gives? Does he rub me the wrong way?

I'll explain Kokichi's...unusual tier placement soon but for now let's talk the easy stuff which is his character in the game.

When Kokichi was first revealed and everyone was fawning over him I wanted this guy to be a bastard. An complete and utter bastard that does something truly henious that nobody expect the kinnies will forgive him for.

So did I get what I want? Design wise he definitely looks insane as no normal person would wear a straightjacket. This has let to the fun theories he was an escaped mental asylum patient. And when the V3 fake spoilers were running around, fun times, they said he was part of a despair cult. Its certainly a unique look.

He's an absolute blast personality wise as he says the most outragious stuff and often riles the other characters. Saying Kiibo has a dick? Speedrunning Maki trying to kill him? And him messing with Shuichi?

The lying is something that you do need to read the lines between. Its not pathological lying as Kokichi would lie even when in situations its better for him to tell the truth, so its more like compulsive lying.

All of these are so much fun to watch and Derek Stephen Prince was a fanasatic VA as I could really hear the Digimon Emperor from his voice when doing Kokichi, and he delivers the lines and his vocal changes as Kokichi has one of the most dynamic vocal ranges. I was amazed he didn't have a second VA because some characters like Junko needed multiple VAs due to how wild the character was.

His actions are interesting to unpack because while he is a shit-stirrier like most rival characters, unlike say Byakuya and Nagito who are out for themselves, Kokichi has everyone's interests in mind but due to the nature of the Killing Game, he decided to play the villain someone for everyone to band against.

Problem is; this worked a little too well as everyone hated him and then after Chapter 4 which despite his bombastic display, he was definitely affected by, he decided to create a unsolvable murder case. Which got solved because gameplay.

Many more qualified people have done more in-depth analysis on why Kokichi is such a interesting character. In fact if it wasn't for the real reason he's so low, he would be around B/A tier.

So why is he so low? Well its not nothing to do with what Kokichi does in the games...but more of what he did to me. Putting this under the cut because its a very bonkers reason and I understand if you think this is a stupid reason and that is the reason why he isn't bottom tier.

For starters its got nothing to do with his lying. I've like liar characters like Nikei and David in the past so again the archetype isn't the reason. Its also got nothing to do with the fact he kills Miu and Gonta. I never liked Miu and yes Gonta dying is sad but its a Killing Game.

Its also got nothing to do with the fact he killed Kaito as yes the two bash heads a lot but its more to do with the secondary theme of emotions vs. logic rather then Kaito hates lying little shits.

And yes I did see thoses terrible YouTube videos which claims Kokichi is poorly written. That Youtuber is a terrible elitist analyst who clearly hates Kokichi as a character and is using smokescreens and the delusion they are more educated to persuade you otherwise. Its up there with the more terrible Game Theories.

Finally the Love Hotel scene is more on the tame side and its the sole reason why everyone and their mother makes Kokichi Joker whenever one does a Persona/Danganronpa crossover.

So if its got nothing to do with that then what gives? Why do I not like Kokichi? Is it to do with something personal?

Yes. Yes it is because during the entire year of 2017, I had to deal with a non-stop stream of lucid nightmares where Kokichi Ouma was a psychopathic yandere towards me. The entire thing was like a living A Nightmare on Elm Street and I still wonder to this day how tf it even happened in the first place. The dreams are like what I described them as; Kokichi was in love with me and wasn't gonna take no for a answer.

I'm normally lucid in my dreams so at first I just tried waking up early, but to my horror I would later learn that Kokichi himself was fully aware he was in my mind and every time I end a session prematurely while he couldn't obviously stop me, he could punish me next time I go to sleep since you know humans need sleep, and would use every dream mechanic you could think of to trap me.

These dreams completely fucked up my sleep schedule as I would often get 4-5 hour sleeps because of them, and while normally when I wake up in the night I would go back to sleep, to do that would mean more Kokichi and more horrors so I would often stay up at like 4am.

I studied as much dream theory as I could and tried all the tactics I could find to make these stop, but nothing worked and Kokichi would often mock me when I did so.

Clearly I don't suffer them now so how did I get rid of him in the end? Well I won't disclose how I did it but let's just say look at how Bill Cipher in Gravity Falls was killed and that should give you a good idea how I managed to get rid of that Kokichi in the end. Expect of course I didn't lose my memories.

Don't ask me how this happened, because I don't know either. As while I do have wild dreams I had nothing on that magnitude before or since then. The dreams had two lasting effects on me. Firstly, its made me scared of Doki Doki Literature Club as while Monika is a million times tamer then my psychotic Kokichi was, its still too close to home for me.

And the second is that its given me a bit of a sour opinion on Kokichi. Not because the character sucks but because its very hard to look at a character when something wearing their face and behaving almost exactly like them, was your personal Freddy Krueger for a little over a year.

TL;DR Kokichi is a good character and under normal circumstances I would have loved him but my brain decided that it was illegal and gave me lucid nightmares about him for over a year and that's made me hard to like him.