#Words cannot describe how yummy it is

[augustsails]

Already thinking about the amazing spinach artichoke dip I literally just ate today…

[star2fishmeg]

can you share some of your Luke recs?

Of course! I may have gone a bit overboard but I just love love love all these fics and their authors so so much. I highly recommend all these writers and their blogs, from the nsfw to the sfw, I couldn't stress how highly I respect and recommend them enough:

≡ᴍᴇɢ's ʟᴜᴋᴇ ʜᴜɢʜᴇs ғɪᴄ ʀᴇᴄs

—SMUT

♥ again by @hhughes (you can find her on @bedsyandco now I think) ➥ I frequently find myself going back to this one, the way Cami has written it is just so addicting and it's so hot.

♥ the mortifying ordeal of being a 20 year old virgin by @theemporium ➥ This series is hard as hell, literally love it. Each chapter is just divine and I love Luke and reader's dynamic, it's so juicy and with every new chapter, I think I literally heel click and do a jig.

♥ escape from la by @eyesthatroll ➥ Another one I go back to often, still think about it to this day actually, I just picture it vividly and it gives me butterflies every time.

♥ locker room by @lucijawriteswords ➥ Words cannot describe how much of a chokehold this one has on me. Angry Luke is so hot and I can't stop thinking about the imagery and I want this so bad.

♥ those sleepless nights - @wineauntie ➥ I present to you; my bedtime story. Sleepy smut is just so yummy, you know? And I just wanted Luke wrapped around me after I read this, I now go back to it when it's some silly hour of the morning.

♥ stress reduction by @goldfades ➥ Bro I cannot begin to explain how many times I've read this one. Short and sweet and so sensual, I want it. You'll literally read it and feel something.

♥ risqué reflections by @sweetestdesire ➥ This is the place for filth and I'm a loyal customer. This fic had me doing deep breaths and GOD it's so yummy. Read it once and then went back because the buzz it gave me.

♥ the green eyed monster by @puck-luck ➥ Jealousy has never looked hotter on a man. I remember reading this one morning before uni and yeah let's say I wasn't thinking about my class that day. Andy went all in with this and Jesus it was hot as fuck.

—FLUFF

♥ he's been a bit of a jerk by @quinnylouhughesx43 ➥ I've never liked the winter more, I need Luke to come find my lonely ass and kiss me too. This was too cute honestly and the second part is just as good. Recommend reading them back-to-back.

♥ too tall by @toasttt11 ➥ Anything to do with height differences has me in shambles and this was so cute. I just love the image of Luke standing in the kitchen at 12am like a deer in headlights.

♥ uh oh by @be4chywritez ➥ The Curtis-Luke rivalry will always make me giggle and even funnier with the sneaking around trope, I adored this and the locker room scene. The whole thing is so cute and lighthearted.

♥ jelly on a plate by @wineauntie ➥ I dislike the process of flying so this was a really comforting read and I love it so much. It's adorable and reassuring at the same time and if you're not a fan of flying, I really recommend having Luke with you in spirit.

♥ my princess by @lvrhughes ➥ No because this one's fun and fresh and adorable. Something about drunken nights will always get me, especially when it's one looking after the other. Filled my heart with warmth.

♥ caught by @ifimdreaming ➥ Love this one a lot, it's funny and cute. It perfectly portrays siblings having an argument and Trevor making an appearance will always be funny. Luke is just too cute and love me protective Luke.

♥ kiss her you fool by @withwritersblock ➥ Tooth rotting fluff, friends to lovers and just pining and that's my cup of tea. Loverboy Luke has you aching for him to be honest and you'll wish you were y/n and so much touching that has you tingling.

♥ "are you awake yet?" blurb by @bedsyandco @hhughes ➥ I wish I had this in my life, honestly. Read this and you wish you did too. It's so sweet it makes me kick my feet and twirl my hair, run laps around my room, go through my Luke Pinterest board. I love the way Cami writes Luke.

[lacesoflove]

hello! can you do a move-in day with hamzah? where he’s lifting and looking yummy moving stuff around and just getting settled into the new house?? Ok. Love u. thx. 🤗🤗🤗

NOW SHOWING: BREAKING THE BED! (request!)

Rating: fluffy + suggestive

Warning: AFAB!Reader, reader is described to have curls, but besides that no ethnic/racial has been provided!

A/N: I find it funny that as I was writing this I stumbled upon an OOC video where Hamzah said that he cannot afford to buy a house because he’s only 22 😭

W/C: 1.1k words

MOVING INTO A HOUSE WITH YOUR DREAM MAN WAS NOT IN YOUR CARDS. Falling in love with your dream person wasn’t on your cards either. Yet here you were, navigating the cluttered chaos of boxes, each one a Pandora's box revealing surprises that felt like the universe’s surreal joke on your life’s trajectory.

If you had told your ten-year-old self about something called a “credit check” just to secure a roof over your head, she would have frowned and asked, “What’s that?” Standing in the skeletal beginnings of your living room felt surreal, like a scene from a half-remembered dream. You and Hamzah had toiled like modern-day Sisyphuses, pushing the boulder uphill in an economy designed to turn homeowners into a relic of the past. And here you were, bearing the fruits of your labour, and it was dizzying to think you could finally eat them.

You took a laid-back approach to moving in, checking occasionally for the arrival of another truck or pacing through the house to affirm that this dream was indeed yours. Red and Blue were tucked away in the guest room, avoiding the chaos of change. Meanwhile, Hamzah was knee-deep in the intricate task of assembling your bed, his body hunched over the instruction manual like a treasure hunter deciphering hieroglyphs. This was the only piece of furniture spared from the convenience of Amazon’s next-day delivery—because sleeping on the floor wasn’t an option, and Hamzah had declared it “just not right.” You had no desire to argue that point; after all, you couldn’t imagine what hardwood floors would do to both your curls in the morning.

You leaned against the doorframe, watching him wrestle with the instruction sheet, his face a canvas of confusion painted with frustration. “Baby, how’s it going?” you called out, bouncing on your toes, feeling a pang of guilt for leaving him to fend for himself. “Not great,” he grumbled, forehead creased as his eyes darted across an endless loop of instructions that might as well have been written in ancient runes. “I think they shorted us on screws.”

“What? No way. Hand it over,” you insisted, stepping forward to snatch the manual from his hands. “No, there are enough screws; you just put them in the wrong part of the bed.” “But it says head of the bed,” he argued, his stubbornness as inflexible as the wood he was trying to piece together. You sighed, knowing that for all the reasons you adored Hamzah, his reading comprehension skills were not among them. “It says base of the bed. The head is a different section underneath. Your eyes must be skipping the important parts.”

“Probably,” he admitted, pulling himself up from the floor, stretching like a cat, muscles flexing under the strain. “Why don’t you just make the bed?”

“Because I’m the girl,” you shot back, a smug smile creeping onto your face as he stepped closer, wrapping his arms around your lower back.

“Really?”

“Mhm.”

“Shit like this brings the movement down; everyone’s a feminist until it’s bed-building time.”

You erupted into laughter, unable to contain yourself. “Did you seriously just quote Bo Burnham?”

“Sure did,” he replied, a grin lighting up his face, the corners of his eyes crinkling with mischief.

“You’re stupid,” you said, your heart swelling with affection.

“You’re hot,” he quipped, leaning in for a kiss that sent a spark through the air between you. It was only then that the creeping shadows caught your eye, the sun dipping behind the trees, casting elongated silhouettes that spread across your new room. “Shit, we’ll get to the kissing later—we should probably focus on making this bed.”

“Why? Got some plans for us on it?” he teased, tilting his head, curls falling in lazy cascades as he lowered his gaze to yours, his eyes glimmering with playful mischief.

“Yes, and those plans consist of my mandatory eight hours of sleep,” you replied, laughter bubbling up as you nudged him away playfully. “Let’s finish this bed.”

What was supposed to be a straightforward task devolved into a chaotic four-hour marathon of flipping through the instruction manual and squabbling over every little detail. You found yourself checking on Red and Blue and, perhaps most challengingly, fighting the urge to kiss your boyfriend senseless, especially when he adopted that commanding tone while explaining the simplest of instructions. The way his muscles flexed as he pieced everything together was a distraction you could hardly shake off, like trying to focus while standing in front of a volcano ready to erupt.

But eventually, you triumphed. “Well, we did it,” you declared, surveying the finished bed with a rush of accomplishment, the chaos of the day melting into a sense of belonging.

“I dunno?” he replied, the rhetorical lilt of his voice betraying the playful smirk that danced on his lips. He knew exactly what was simmering beneath the surface; your fidgety energy gave you away, your eyes glued to him as he had assembled the bed like a magician unveiling his greatest trick. “What’d you have in mind earlier?”

“Continuing our kiss, maybe? Something more… I dunno,” you said, a mischievous grin spreading across your face as you mimicked his nonchalance, your tone dripping with playful defiance.

His body inched closer, an electric tension crackling in the air, and in one fluid motion, he scooped you up and plopped you onto the bed, laughter bubbling up between you like effervescent champagne. He leaned in, kissing the crook of your neck, and you giggled softly, the warmth of the moment enveloping you. It was sweet, a bubble of intimacy growing as you both leaned into the heat of the moment, getting hot and bothered in that perfect little world of your own.

And then it happened—the moment was ruptured by a creak, followed by a crack. Suddenly, all at once the bed collapsed in on itself, its stilts surrendering to the weight of your laughter and unexpected enthusiasm.

“What the hell?!” Hamzah exclaimed before you both burst of laughter mingling with the chaos as you stared at the tumbled remains of what was supposed to be your bed was underneath you both. “I can’t believe we broke the bed.” He grumbled, his voice a mix of irritation as well as amusement. Any traces of horniness had long dissipated due to the absurdity of the situation. “Wouldn’t be the first time we’ve done it.” You smirked. “True. But damn this has got to be a bad omen or some shit. Cock-blocking ass bed.” You couldn’t help but let out another laugh at that. “Look baby, nothing is a bad omen with you.” You whispered as you pulled his head towards you as you gave him a deep kiss. “I know, but I should probably leave a review on it or something you know?” “Or maybe, Hamzah, you should actually try to read instructions properly.”

“Maybe.” “I’m right.”

“You’re right.”

[asmimir]

Hi. Here to say your Kallamar Dysmorphia comic and concept is so very very very good. I have been sitting starring at my phone for . Over 15 minutes now. thinking about it. I cannot find the words to describe how emotional it makes me and how good of a take on Kallamar that is. Idk what else to say i just it'd be nice to do so

Also your art is banging you have such a nice and yummy art style the colors go crazy ‼🗣 Good luck with school btw

tysm I love ur art as well, hhh I wish I could say more but I ahdgsaldhsad- I hope saying that- I genuinely think ur cool would suffice-

have a wonderful day

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Hi. I was just reading through all of your headcanons. I was thinking a kinda part 2 situation for one of them. How bout actually adopting the pet mentioned in Farmer and bachelor's choosing to be child free and adopting a pet. Thanks!!

Of course, dear anon! Enjoy the continuation of this headcanon, and thanks for your ask!

_________________________________________

If Farmer's cat was closer to them, then the young cat that Elliott and Farmer had recently taken from the shelter became most attached to the poet. And besides being a new member of their little family, Gertrude (the name of the cat Elliott gave her) became the red-haired man's assistant in writing. Now Farmer doesn't have to worry if their beloved spouse is overworked while they are away from home, their furry friend lays down on Elliott's writing papers, demanding attention immediately. At times, Farmer's cat joins in as well, preventing the writer from labouring further. So Elliott has nothing to do but give up and take a needed break, and not forgetting to give the caring cats attention and yummy treats.

Actually, the idea from the beginning was to take only one puppy, but when three yapping furballs surrounded Sam, begging for pets and treats, the young guitarist's heart squeezed that they would take only one, sharing such a cute family of puppies. So now all three puppies are jumping on the farmhouse couch, sniffing all around and trying to chew on the wooden table. Farmer was a little hesitant, but their husband has been quite responsible in caring for and raising their new family members. Farmer is very pleased to see Sam glowing with happiness, playing with cute and healthy puppies, who have filled their house with joy and fun. And trouble, for the puppies are so energetic!

Shane lay on the cool grass, his eyes closed, afraid to open them again. Because everything that had happened to him in the last year seemed like a dream. He had managed to get out of the hole, towards a better future. Farmer who had supported him in his time of need had become his wonderful spouse, they lived together on a cosy farm, surrounded by crops, flowers, and the chickens they had recently bought from Marnie. The small, fluffy, yellow chicks chased Shane like a mother hen until he lay down to rest on the grass, and the chickens climbed onto his lap, chest, and arms, not wanting to end the chase game. Shane dared to open his eyes... Nope, not a dream after all, but a beautiful reality, full of love and small little chicks.

Words cannot describe how overjoyed Alex was when old Dusty jumped and wagged his tail like a young dog and played with the two new puppies that the athlete and Farmer had found on the streets of Zuzu City. The couple wanted to see if there were any pedigree puppies for sale at all, but Alex spotted a box near a trash can on the street, from which came a pitiful whimper. Two little mongrels, they were about a month old.... The same age Dusty had been when he was found and fostered in Pelican Town, making a cute wood home for him.... The decision was made immediately, and Farmer agreed with Alex. Now all three dogs, one old and two young pups, were having fun and enjoying life, filling the lives of their kind owners with joy as well.

Sebastian stood in a proud fatherly pose, smiling and crossing his arms, as Abigail and Sam came to visit him and Farmer and looked at the frogs in the large, beautiful aquaterrarium. Some frogs sat quietly on the thick bark of the tree, while others were too shy and hid in their houses. But all the green, bouncy little ones came out, when they heard Sebby shacking a jar of their favourite worms in his hand. Farmer stood nearby and enjoyed the amazed look on Sammy and Abby's faces as their husband showed his friends how to properly feed the frogs. "We've named all of them except one. Maybe we should call her Abigail." Sebby deftly dodged a friendly elbow nudge from the purple-haired girl, and Farmer laughed ringingly after that.

Harvey's friend almost died laughing when he received a video from the doctor, where three hungry kittens decided not to wait for Harvey to pour food into their bowls, but to get it themselves by climbing up his pyjama pants. The video is two minutes long and is accompanied by the sounds of demanding meows, Harvey's quiet "ouch's" because the kittens' claws are pretty sharp, and Farmer's laughter behind the scenes as they video their spouse. The video was taken six months ago, and the kittens are now grown up, happy and energetic. They still love climbing on Harvey's legs, and their claws have become even sharper. But both the doctor and Farmer love them from the bottom of their hearts, and Harvey's friend is now sure that he has given the kittens into good hands.

[baurbiediv]

liked by natalyaswi, yourbestie, urbanwyatt, & 815,375 others

yourinstagram how do i begin to say this? happy birthday to my amazing, hard working, incredible, talented (in the bed), man. words will never be able to describe the love that my heart carries for you jack. we’ve stuck by each other for so long, i can’t imagine what life will look like later down the road for us. i can’t wait to spend the day with you and love you more than i already do. you’re 25, you’re getting old on me baby, but i love you so so so much. enjoy your birthday my love. 🤍

view comments (1,250)

druski2funny happy birthday jacky pooh bear

↳ jackharlow oh my god

↳ acepro that’s my man my man

selenosunni he so fine, you think we can share him?

↳ yourinstagram no we cannot

↳ urbanwyatt he’s mine?? that’s my bday twin fym

natalyaswi why are they arguing over him 😭

↳ jackharlow i guess i’m just popular

↳ yourinstagram don’t make me take the post down

↳ yourinstagram you’re pissing me off

↳ jackharlow you’re lying cause i know i’m not

user563 this is so cute, y/n & jack power couple!

liked by yourinstagram, jackharlow & others

kendalljenner happy birthday jack!

↳ allaboutjack not candle gender

↳ ynscloset WHO!

liked by urbanwyatt, brysontiller, omar.apollo & 989,864 others

jackharlow it’s me and twins birthday, round of applause for the kids 🙌🏼

view comments (2,439)

yourinstagram happy birthday baby & happy birthday to my evil twin urb

↳ urbanwyatt thank you twin, love you so much 🫶🏼

↳ yourinstagram more than blunts?

↳ urbanwyatt i plead the fifth

↳ yourinstagram …

cozane urban looks so yummy in the second photo

↳ cozane hey daddy, hmu

↳ urbanwyatt copeland, relax

↳ yourinstagram tell that airbender to calm down!!

liked by enews, mtv, addisonrae & and 1,472,492 others

theshaderoom uh-oh roomies! looks like we’re spotted jack harlow behind the scenes of an after party, but who’s this mystery woman? as we all know jack is currently with and rumored to be engaged to @/yourinstagram, what’s going on here?

view comments (5,300)

madisonbaileybabe ridiculous, you post this knowing how sensitive and damaging this is to someone. this is seriously fucked up.

↳ view replies (867)

iamcardib i hope she sues the fuck outta you sorry ass bitches! this is wack as fuck.

↳ views replies (200)

sza not even a side eye, full body turn. i hope she destroys y’all for this! 🤭

↳ view replies (342)

yourinstagram this is how i find out my man cheated.

[savagewildnerness]

For that ask meme: 4, 6, 13?

Helloooo! And thank you so much for your ask! 🥰 I actually meant for you all to answer the questions! But I shall happily answer these! And in answering, I realise asking 15 questions of you all would be A Lot! So, oooops! My apologies! 😇

4 - Any scene/moment you don’t like & why

I think it’s no surprise that I don’t like The Drop in S1E5. Book-Lestat wouldn’t do it. I don’t like that it means we won’t see the book-plot of the Armand-Lestat drop, I don’t like how it alters a lot of subsequent feelings, motivations & meanings that impact on the rest of the series (for example there was a big knock-on impact for me in the trial - both in its feeling & in many practical differences of events & meaning.) But it’s that it grates against Lestat’s characterisation for him to do that to Louis that troubles me most.

But I accept tv-Lestat did it. There is no part of me that thinks it didn’t happen in TV world & no part of me that excuses it in any way either. The revisit to the scene beforehand: I liked it, because adding the missing scenes added glorious gothicness… and Lestat got to apologise… but there’s literally nothing Louis could say or do that would make the drop existing ok for me, so that’s that!

It’s particularly hard to properly express why Louis smashing Lestat’s head on a coffin then saying he’ll chop his head off & feed it to the lions is yummy, transgressive violence & gothic glory, yet The Drop is so wrong I cannot abide it. I think I can best explain by saying that none of this is good or bad in terms of relating it to reality, and so it’s the feelings & meaning on the next, underlying level that matters. Which is a very fine, yet incredibly important (as I feel it!) line.

6 - Best thing for you about the TV show

The characterisations.

I’m a sucker for a deep dive into character. I adore all of the characters on the show (including small roles I don’t mention here.)

I adore Lestat as there’s my Lestat on screen! The second he watched Louis with his blade to Paul’s throat - instantly I saw & felt that that was Lestat! Lestat was THERE! Resonant!

I adore Louis, as he is absolute glow-up-Louis & I love that I can feel from him the way all the vampires describe they feel for book-Louis, but I never really understood from book-Louis! But now, oh how I feel it too!

I am astounded that Assad has somehow elevated my love for Armand, who was already my second favourite book character beyond even how I love book-Armand. S2 was your season. Armand was everything.

I love how smaller characters such as Santiago & Madeleine have been elevated too & then Claudia… I do need to caveat that Claudia cannot have the impact of an immortal 5-year-old vampire! However, this Claudia works & the changes add interesting, poignant & tragic elements to her story. I adore tv Claudia & I hope she haunts every season of the show.

Such incredibly strong characterisation also helps to access the spirit of Anne’s books & I love when I feel the essence of her writing in the show! Which doesn’t mean a strictly close adaptation necessarily. For example, I feel the spirit of Anne’s work incredibly strongly in S2E5 even though that’s in large part written solely for TV.

13 - Feelings about TV show versus books

I think I sort of answered this above. Generally speaking, I’ve loved the TV adaptation so far though! It’s such a joy to be able to see books that were so close to your heart & that you read at such a formative age they’re ingrained in your heart & soul & in how you see & feel & experience & think about the world adapted with such love & care & attention to detail & to the spirit of the books. And the exquisite poetry of the writing - Anne’s words directly on screen at such poignant moments & the writers’ own beautiful poetic language also.

Hope that’s ok! I’ll end there as my phone keeps randomly deleting paragraphs & I’m worried about losing the whole post! 🥶💀

And on this note, please feel free to just pick whatever question(s) interest you to answer, everyone! 🥰🥰🥰 I’m so curious to read your thoughts!

[mommynina]

/copypasta

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THE WAYYYYY ID LET THIS MAN [beep] me [beep] me [beep] me and [beep] [beep] [beep] me THEN [beep] [beep] me THEN [beep] [beep] [beep] [beep] me that id never lose my breathinf. HES SO FINE HES SO HANDSOME HES SO BEAUTIFUL I JUST WANNA SQUISH HIM SO HE COULD FIT MY POCKET AND MWAMWA HIM SO BAD HES SO 😭😭💗💗 I LOVE LOVE LOVE HIM WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH IM ADMIRINF THIS MAN SO MUCH THE FIRST TIME I SAW HIM ON THE FONTAINE TRAILER IM ACTUALLY GOING CRAZY I WANNA 🗣️🗣️💃💃💃💃

i want to hug him kiss him pinch him roll him feed him poke him kick him hit him i want him to handcuff me w them handcuffs on him and head lock me with those yummy nomnom lookin ahh biceps 😍😍 without a second thought and punch me with his fist and i wouldnt even bother flying to outer space for the man ‼️ yall could never stop me from loving and simpih and crying my shi out for a nonexistent fine lookin guy 😍😍😍

The way that I'm gonna let Dr. Ratio to ████ ██ █████████ ███████ ██ ██████ ██ █████ ██ ████ ██ ██████████ ████████ ███████████ ███████████████ ████████████ ███ ██ ██ █ ███ ████ ██ █████ ██ █████ ███ ███ █████ ███████ ██ ████ ██ ████ ████ ██ █ ████ ████ ██ █ █████ ████ ██ █ ███ ███ ███ ██ ███████ ███ ████ ██████ ██ ████ ██ ████ █████ ███ ██ ████ ████ ██ ████ ██ ██ █████ ███ ██ ██ █████ ████ ████ ███ █ ███████ ███████ ████ ████ ███ ███ █████ ██ ████ ███ ████ ██ █ ████ ████ ███ ████ ██████ ██ ████ ████ ██ ████ ████ ██ █ ███ ████ ███ ███ ████ ██ ████████ ████ ████ █████████████████ ██████ ██████ ███ ██ ████ ████ ████ ███ ██ ████ ███ ███ █████ █████ ██ ███ ████ █████ █████ ██ ████ █ ████ ████ █ ██████ ████ ██ ████ █████ ████ ██ ███ ████ ███ ████ ██ ███ ███ ████ ███ ███ ████ ██████ ████ ████ ██ █████████ ████████ █ ██ ███████ ██ ██ █ ████ ███ ████ █ ████ █ █████ █ █████ ██████████ ██ █████ ██ ██ ███ ████ ██ ██████ ██ █████ ███ ███████ ██ ██ ██████████ ██ ████ ██ █████ ████ ███ ██ ████████ ███ ███████ ██ █████████ ██ ████████ ██ █████ ██ ██████ ██ ██████ ██ █████ ██ █████████ ███ ████ ███ ██ ██ ███ ███████ ██ ████████ ███ ██ ████ █ ██ █████ ██ ███████ ██████ ███ ████ ███ ███ ██ ████ ██ ███████ ██████ ███ ████ (my honest feelings 🥰)

I wanna Mcfuckin give Dr. Ratio the sloppiest, most heavenly gawk gawk 3000 ever. This man has me going FERAL. I wanna ride his dick like I’m a horse girl like yeehaw mf i hate kids and pregnancy but I swear if I had the chance I would be 999 months male pregnant 🫃 like this is homophobic how hot he is. I could give him the gawk gawk 9000 infront of everyone bare booty naked and I wouldn’t care. This man could do anything he wanted and I would morph to be a chic fil a worker like sir it is my pleasure to be your murder victim he got me FOAMING at the mouth like some rabid sheabeast good golly Jesus lord above he is hot. what if daddy Dr. Ratio pins me down his basement and is really horny wanting to fuck me so bad that he would shoot his whole ass generation of seeds in me & is satisfied that i made him cvm bc my poosay is good 🥺🥺🥺 the way i creamed so much i need to change my thongs 2 times a day it's niagara falls in this poosay all day 👹👹 poosay so good im on a trip to the bay soon as he put it in that ***** callin me babe im like papi wanna see a trick that's worth it juggle them balls in my mouth deepthroat circus drop something, pick it up slow on purpose watch me bend over, come daddy and hurt this freak lil’ bitch I’m sorry I can’t help it Dr. Ratio don’t want me f^^king nobody else, he selfish (ugh~!!! 👹👹👹👹) should’ve saw the face on that ***** face when he felt this coming all down his dicc, warm and melted, remind ya im kinda, wet !! running down my vagina (ah~!! 😫👹💦) Can't no bitch replace this young twat, 'Cause I can go 24/7, it's non-stop know how to keep your man off the block roll my pussy on the dick while I'm drinkin' pop fuck, yeah, I said it and this ***** got good credit he give me his credit cards and tell me to use debit 'cause bein' with me, my ***** stay well fedded he suckin' my pussy while he gettin' his hair dreaded Dr. Ratio smoke trees while I'm up on my knees after that, cook him steak with grilled cheese then back to ridin' that dick until he can't breathe he fuck me so good, I couldn't find my weave 😡👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹

slurp that dicc till it cvm 🍆💦

slurp that dicc till it cvm 🍆💦

slurp that dicc till it cvm 🍆💦

smack my a like a drum 🥁🥁🥁

i can give you the GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GAWK GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP 66969696969696969 times 🥺🥺🥺

[rootfauna]

Words cannot describe how yummy this porridge was

[lil-sprout-boy]

words cannot describe how much I love this, holy shit its so yummy

WHAT’S THAT, PUPPET BOY?

[slowd1ving]

REACHES THROUGH THE SCREEN AND SHAKES YOU ??? YOU UPLOADED THE REST OF THE FIC WITHIN TWO OF MY SLEEP CYCLES ?? (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾ didnt even give me the time to react !!! aaaaah !!!!

i dont even know what to say anymore dude , this work is a fucking masterpiece . the feelings feeling’d so hard and your writing style is SO . YUMMY . can i eat it pls ? (*´∀`)♪ i loved reading vil’s thoughts n stuff because they were all narrated so … good . amazing . wonderful . what words can i even say to describe the feelings reading your work made me feel ?!?!! AAAHH

and . oh god the spicy bits … />\\<\ ur gonna kill me lmfao , i had to pause several times and like shove my face into the cold side of my pillow bc ,,, gawd damn ,,,, KXJAKDJKSND LOL rivalry spice gotta be my favorite flavor of spice ever it has no right to be so good .

ALSO . reader and rook . they made me giggle . i love them . one of my friends really likes rook and im like yes ! the silly with the fuckass bob ! /ref ( theyre the reason my first and only colored twst fanart is him )

i like actually dont know what else to say now , so im gonna just end here but before i go i would like to inform you that you inspired me to go and level up my vil card , which funnily enough the only SR i have of him is his labwear card (°▽°) so now whenever i fucking look at it im going to think of your fic series I HOPE YOUR PROUD OF YOURSELF FOR TAINTING MY MIND !!!! /lhj

i also fucking saw your comment about a possible al-haitham fic . im perceiving you so hard for that right now . i would get on my hands and knees for an al-haitham fic from you pls (>A<) i love that smartass so much .

anyWAYS i hope your days been well and that the rest of it is awesome as well ! much love ! (´꒳`)♡ & pls excuse any excess ramble-y ness or if my typing is weird / unclear i just woke up from a nap a while ago so im . out of it heheh .

SPEEDY UPLOADER FR!!! nah I'm so impatient I like seeing all the reactions to the uploads so I tend to update quite fast 😭😭

THANK YOUUU it took such a long time to find a writing style I enjoyed so I'm glad others enjoy it too lmao. and yes I agree vil's thoughts >

writing interesting character's perspectives is always so fun to do

imagine how it was writing those parts !!! i had to take so many screaming breaks to continue each line cause he's TOOOO FINE!!! rivalry spice all the way brooo

rook's so silly fr; writing him was the only use I had out of taking french so I'm glad the opportunity came up

LMAO IK WHICH CARD YOU'RE TALKING ABOUTTT 😭I'm glad more science vil appreciation is coming up and what an honour it is to be associated with his card 🙏🙏

alhaitham fic is definitely in the ideas stage (god I've got such good ones lmao) like you cannot imagine how much I'm rubbing my hands in glee when I say this

thank you so much I hope your day has been excellent tooo!! and don't apologise for rambling it was very enjoyable reading your comments and thoughts anon 😭😭

[dylbobaggins168]

crashes in. i didnt wanna look at the prompts so youre not getting a writing request sorry. oops. crashes.

hi have i told you how much i love you. to the point where you. youve fucked up my head HGLKJFSD. like i cannot look at colours without thinking about you after i talk to you. hi dylbs. have i told you how much i adore you today. hi. hi. hi. punches you (how are you) punches you (did you have a good dinner today) punches you (get a good night's rest) punches you (im so happy to be your friend) punches you (i love you) punches you (i love you) punches you (i love you i love you i love you)

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU (ily so much it's actually unreal)

words cannot describe how much i love you too like i am so glad we started talking bc it makes me so so happy every time i see you around and talking to you is awesome and you're so cool and and and i can't believe we're actually friends bc you're so so cool and awesome and yeah :D i hate you so much (i'm doing great today) you have infected my brain (i had pesto pasta, very yummy) kicks you (hahahah bold of you to assume i know what sleep is) punches you (however happy you are, double it and that's nowhere near close to how happy i am to be YOUR friend) kicks you again for variety in fighting (i love you too) beats you up (literally meeting you is one of the best things that ever happened to me bc you're SO COOL and yeah ily ily ily <3)

[mhyela]

OMG WORDS CANNOT EVEN DESCRIBE HOW BEAUTIFUL THIS WRITING IS 😭 MEGUMI IS SUCH A COMPLEX CHARACTER BUT THE WAY HE WAS PORTRAYED AND DESCRIBED HERE IS INSANELY ACCURATE LIKE HOWW AND THIS WAS SO YUMMY TOO LIKE PLEASE 🙏

OBSESSED: FUSHIGURO

A/N: OH. MY. GOD. Anon. I love you and hate you for this request. This was…hard. I told myself I wouldn’t publish it unless it was fucking perfect (you should see the scalpels I took to each goddamn sentence before this version).

SECOND: I will square up with Gege for writing the most enigmatic, LAYERED, complex, muddled character to exist. I wanted this to be Megumi. Through and through. His darkness, his light, his reservation, his crazy, all in one. And IDK. I think I did it? This one is purely to prove to myself that I can write for characters that are hard to write for (*cough* yuta im glaring at you *cough*)

THIRD: if you do read this (I get people feel things about aged up characters etc), I implore you to listen to this. Guys. I heard this at 0200 IN THE OR during a 6 hour case and the entire concept for this came to me. Meg is sophisticated and unruly, selfless and selfish, etc. So this has some NSFW but definitely probably more on the poetic, long ends of my works.

CW: Aged up characters (20+), college AU, fluffy/raunchy/dark romance-y because LOOK at him. He takes after Gojo AND Toji. Mature, 18+

“You like it when I’m rough.”

Megumi’s melody rings crystal clear.

Low.

Precise.

An F-14 Tomcat fighter jet, flying dark. Below enemy radar.

The piano keys float beneath his tone. His long, slender, deft fingers effortlessly execute the sheet music before him. It’s his GPS system, a personal flight map.

Little Beethoven, his advanced music theory professor calls him.

Truth is, Megumi is a prolific pianist and vocalist. He can tame any note, any melody, any harmony faster than any of his Shikigami.

Speaking of…

Megumi pulls off the piano and tortured love song in an instant. Just as the grade 3 curse creeps through the open door.

The part between his right long and ring fingers is automatic. His left hand grips the web space between his right thumb and index finger.

“Demon dog.” Megumi summons.

Low. Precise. Decisive.

“Eat it, boy.”

A small, approving smile tugs on the corners of his lips. Low level curses are the nothing more than chew toys to his divine dogs. With a tiny wave of his fingers, his technique buzzes inward.

Megumi’s eyes float to the ancient analog clock on the wall.

13:50

10 more minutes until you’ll meet him for your date.

No. Not date.

Study. 10 more minutes until you’re meeting him to study.

Your thought blooms within him like wildfire. It sets his normally cool, porcelain skin ablaze.

Megumi whips his body around to face the piano. To exorcise the feeling. The keyboard has always been his outlet. His life blood. Playing, singing, musing in and out of written songs is his catharsis.

Words don’t come easy. They never have. But lyrics do.

And when he gets to ride lyrics with his voice, his runs..?

The words he can never find on his own are suddenly out there. In the atmosphere. Coating empty rooms in a mist of his thoughts, his feelings.

No certain promise that the person the words are destined for will ever catch them. Or ever walk through the room and be kissed by the remnants of his musical trail. But Megumi has said (sung, played) them. And that’s enough.

“Sorry if I come across a type of way.”

“I’ve been trying to get out of my way…”

His fingers dive into the keys. Angrily. Earnestly.

“I know it doesn’t seem like I care, but you know I care—“

“Wow Meg, you sound incredible.”

You bring him to an abrupt stop. Your voice is maple syrup trailing down Megumi’s neck, leaving goosebumps in its candied wake.

Pitch fucking perfect.

A soft, ethereal C, gliding down Heaven’s staircase. You infuse sunlight into his name, whichever way you choose to say it.

And it’s hell. It’s cruel. To have as keen hearing as he does. To listen to you sing his name and have nothing else follow.

“Fushiguro.” Megumi shoots up from his seat, slinging his backpack over one shoulder.

“What?”

“Fushiguro.” He repeats, eyes briefly meeting yours before settling above your head. He’s at least a head and shoulders taller.

“Nobody calls me Meg.”

You throw your head back. Feather light crescendo in your laughter. It’s pretty. Tantalizing in the way chandeliers twinkle when they capture a beam of light.

His eyes dart down to catch the feminine column of your neck. Curving into your delicate collar bones. How are your lines so seamless?

So cinematic. Like he’s watching a figure skater land a triple axel. Or a prima ballerina en pointe. It’s not fathomable.

Gorgeous.

You are gorgeous.

“I call you Meg.” You retort with a smile that liquifies all of his joints.

You double your walking speed to keep pace with Megumi’s long strides. Both of you exit the sound engineering building. Heading straight for the campus library a couple blocks away.

“Who were you—oh,” Megumi’s glacial hand along the small of your back steals your voice away.

Your eyes and feet follow his gentle push, shifting you to the other side of him.

“Walking on the wrong side.” He mutters, monotone. Matter-of-fact. Obviously.

He’s a gentleman. Of course he is going to walk on the traffic facing edge of the sidewalk.

Of course he didn’t feel the electric currents wire through his fingers to clench — suffocate — his heart.

No, he didn’t hear that punched out, falsetto gasp when his hand cradled your perfectly tapered waist.

Or notice how well you fit into his hand. How light you are under his touch that had none of his real strength behind it.

You’re made of alluring lines. Intoxicating sounds.

What would it take to coax a pretty melody out of your pouty lips?

His fingers?

They’re long. And smart. Cold. Remarkably patient. You’d like them.

He could make you love them.

Crave them. Need, whimper, whine, and cry out for them.

“So who was it?” You tether him to reality.

“Who was what?” Megumi counters, leading you to a private study room.

“The way you were singing earlier.”

Hairs along the back of his neck stand at attention. Blood runs Siberian cold. Megumi’s gaze on you is subzero.

“It had to be for someone.” You lower down into a seat in slow motion.

The sweetheart neckline of your sundress is mean. Your supple mounds tilt and ripple with every micro movement. Megumi has forgotten why he’s glaring at you.

“You sound too…pretty. It can’t be wasted on thin air.” You continue.

“She must be—“

“Let’s just get started, okay?” He sharply redirects the conversation.

And promptly shifts gear to low autopilot. He’ll speak when spoken to, answer questions intermittently. But his mind’s true coordinates are a galaxy away.

Megumi retreats to his shadow garden.

Watching you.

Drinking you in.

Savoring each detail on his tastebuds like dessert.

The pencil eraser leaves an indent on your bottom lip where you’ve been pressing too hard.

Megumi wants to roll your bottom lip under his teeth. Until it flushes rose and swells beneath his relentless pull.

His eyes fall to your bracelet, far too big for your dainty wrist.

He could hold both of your wrists in one hand above your head or behind your back for hours. Without breaking a sweat.

His other hand would take its time.

To stroke you. Pet you. Learn your sheet music. Then play your body like a harp until you’re a chorus of beautiful, soprano whimpers and moans. Begging and pleading so prettily, enticing him to give in.

But he won’t.

Not until you’re soft enough. A babbling, warm, ruined brook beneath his fingers.

Then he’ll take you, gorgeous.

Searing pain from his sharp swallow and nails digging into his thighs rip him down to the present.

Vision a little fuzzy. Head a revolving door of vulgar scenarios. A dull, demanding ache between his legs draws his eyes to his lap.

Fucking hell.

His jeans are uncomfortable. He’s stiff and needy. Not nearly enough strength in his pants to hold back his drunken arousal.

Not to the mention, the—

swarm of shadows growing at his feet?

Is his…innate domain materializing around him right now?

Megumi aggressively slices through the air at his hip level. Below the table, but you don’t miss his sudden stirring.

“Meg? You okay over—“

“Going to the bathroom.” He gruffs through a clenched jaw. Megumi places his forearm over his crotch before hurrying out of the room.

He can barely recognize the man in the mirror. Flushed to his ears. Volcanoes threatening eruption in his eyes. Api Biru. Pure, triple distilled, blue lava coursing through his veins.

Snap out of it, Fushiguro.

The splash of cold water does nothing for his internal heat. But his milky complexion returns to its effervescent state.

But then he turns a little too quickly to leave. And his painfully hard length drags along his fabric. It’s blinding.

A feeble moan tumbles out of his tight lips.

“Fuck.”

Megumi slams his eyes shut. He needs to readjust. But if he touches himself now, he might not be able to stop.

A slow, steadying breath fills his lungs.

“Just adjust, don’t…” His voice trails off. Icey fingers around his hot, angry base is enough to rip the carpet from beneath his feet.

“Oh, fuck.” Megumi mumbles through one quick pump up his shaft.

He shakes his head as if to tell himself enough. He rests his erection along his thigh before zipping up. Still painful, but tolerable.

A tornado obliterates any remaining resolve in Megumi’s mind on his walk back to you.

You are a dream.

Or a nightmare? A curse?

It doesn’t matter. He couldn’t care less.

Megumi would follow you. Deeper than the crypts of his 10 shadows. Into hell if it meant he could have you the way he wants you.

The way he craves you.

Because fuck the cost.

He’d pay anything.

You’re working on an elaborate concept diagram on the white board. On the tip of your toes. Lip curled under your teeth. And you are just irresistible.

So, he won’t resist.

“Meg! Took you a bit, you okay?”

Megumi is silent. Unblinking. Sauntering toward you.

“Megumi?”

You lower to the soles of your shoes. Neck craning to look at his face. Your eyes widen at his persistent silence. Rosy heat dusting your cheeks.

Pretty little doe, rooted in place by his wolfish glare.

Megumi takes the marker out of your hand and tosses it behind him in one swift motion.

“Hmm,” a tiny acknowledgment of his name. Just because it sounds so sweet rolling off your tongue.

Megumi corners you against the wall. Both of his hands casually in his pockets.

He watches you shift. Flicker your eyes in every direction. Fiddle with your thumbs.

His quiet.

His presence.

It flusters you. Well before he’s gotten the chance to run his hands along the lazy curve of your waist and hips.

“So…so blue.” You stammer. Your warm eyes metronome between his.

“They are.”

Megumi steps impossibly closer. His eyes drop to your chest. Dainty, nervous heaves. Up and down. Up and down.

“You are so,” you swallow thickly, dropping your gaze. “hard to read.”

Megumi snakes his large, graceful fingers into your nape. The temperature difference between your warmth and his cold startles you deeper into his grasp. Your head evanesces into his pull.

A beautiful, shocked gasp escapes you. Just as Megumi’s lips trace the shell of your ear.

“I want you.”

His breaths collide with yours, now. Heat welling deep in his groin. His cock thunders against his thigh.

“Can you read that?” Megumi rasps. Ensuring his voice vibrates down your spine.

A new sound tumbles from your lips. Like you choked on your last swallow. How pretty. You gurgling and gagging like that.

“W-want me? Megumi wh—“

“I.” Megumi nudges his thigh between your legs. His steel pipe erection digs into your dewy, hot core. He angles his leg slightly upward, inching you on the tip of your toes.

His prima ballerina, en pointe.

“Want you.” His lips ghost against yours. Free hand cups the flesh beneath your thigh. Pads of his fingers twitching to dig in.

The two of you drink in this lock-in-key fit. Megumi revels in you. Like this. At his complete mercy.

The prodigal son, born with more power than he knows what to do with.

Ten shadows. Ten Shikigami. It’s been centuries since the last head of his bloodline had power buzzing beneath his fingertips like him.

And somehow he’s never felt more powerful than this.

With you, heaven’s most precious angel, cradled in his arms. Drowning in sinful ecstasy. He brands this freeze frame into the most permanent part of his memory.

Then, he free falls off your cliff edge.

Megumi takes your lips with unfettered greed. Hunger woven into the way his tongue traces every corner of your delectable, soft mouth. His fingers push your head deeper into him. Sucking and nibbling on your warm muscle.

You shower him with airy, choppy little pants. Moans and whines so light they crescendo to fairy dust. You can’t keep up with his bruising kiss. His other hand palms your thigh, kneading little bruises into your silky smooth skin.

Marking what’s his.

“Oh my god.”

You breathe into his mouth when he lets you up for air. Megumi’s eyes dart down to the meeting point of your sex and his muscular thigh.

Did you really think he wouldn’t notice how you’re rutting your pretty little cunt against his leg like that?

Crimson high on your cheeks. You look away when he tries to catch your fucked out gaze.

“Don’t hide from me, gorgeous.” His hand traces up to your hips. You preen into his firm grip.

“Megumi.”

“Don’t stop, pretty girl.” He forcefully moves your hips in more dramatic, languid, deep rolls against his thigh. He’s not paying any mind to the pool of his precum soaking through his pants.

You bury your head in his neck. Fingernails digging pretty crescent moons into his back. You take over the pace. Undulating against him. Shameless. In complete heat.

“You feel s-so…so good.” Your lips smear against his dampened neck. Megumi responds by circling your puffy, slick bud with his fingers.

And fuck. The slurred, broken whimper that rings in his ears.

The way you hump him even more sloppily.

He could finish from that alone.

Your hand flies to your mouth. Empty huffs spilling. Whines ascending in pitch. You are close.

“Such pretty sounds, baby.”

“Megumi…meg..I-“

“Let it out.” He grips the back of your neck. Feeling dangerously close to his own nirvana. Drunk off your precious melody.

“Sing for me.”

“F-fuck, GOD.”

You bite down on his neck. Waves of pleasure crashing into you like hurricane winds. He grips your waist steady. Feeling every involuntary twitch and jerk of your doll-like frame.

Blessing or curse?

He doesn’t know.

But he will follow you to the end of his lifetime and the next.

“God, Fushiguro. That was…” The lusty haze from your peak settles around you. The once shattered world, slowly pieces itself back together.

“No.” Megumi pulls you out of his neck. Dropping his lips to yours, so he can breathe the air directly from your lungs.

“Meg. You call me Meg.”

[vivisols]

VIVIAN… VIVIAN I COOKED, MY cooking has FINISHED!! I’m soooo tired but I DID IT, WAHOO

OUGHHHHHHH ANON I JUST FINISHED READING IT FOR LIKE THE 6TH TIME…. WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS SO GOOD!!!!!! SO SO SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVED EVERY WORD OF IT ADKJHSKJBSJHBAHJBS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ YOU COOKED SO HARD I LOVED IT SO MUCHHHHH!!!!!! THANK YOU FOR THE MASTERPIECE THAT IT IS!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I LEFT A LOT BIGGER OF A COMMENT ON THE ACTUAL FIC BUT AAAAAAAA IT WAS SO CUTE SO GOOD SO YUMMY IM OBSESSED!!!!!!!!!! IN SO MANY WAYS THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I SAW FOR Y/N AND VANESSA AND JUSTMDNCBJHDFBJHBDCJHBCSHJBSC I CANT PUT HOW MUCH I LOVE IT INTO WORDS 😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️ THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN!!!! AAJJHSNMHD JHSCBJHSAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

THE FIC

[billconrad]

Food is Difficult to Write About

    Today, we have reliable cars, fast computers, cell phones, endless knowledge, and entertainment that defies the imagination. Want to talk about it over lunch? Sure! Why? Our entire existence revolves around food. We get driven to consume three times a day (plus snacks). Humans eat various delicious edibles from the far corners of the world. Crab from Alaska, dates from the Middle East, pasta from Italy, kiwi from New Zealand, caviar from Russia, cheese from France, and cod from the Atlantic. We turn this endless variety of yummy base ingredients into incredible creations. Pizza, sushi, burgers, pretzels, string cheese, baba ganoush, snickerdoodle cookies, Twinkies and lasagna. Have you ever eaten from a chocolate fondue fountain? Yum!

    Our insatiable drive to consume munchies goes beyond survival into absurdity. We have entire sections of the bookstore, television channels, and streets dedicated to food. To feed (pun intended) this desire, we consume vast quantities of land, waste countless tons of leftover food, go to cooking school for years, and spend trillions of dollars.

    Of course, I cannot address our drive to take this planet to the scrumptious breaking point. The minor topic I wanted to concentrate on is that food is difficult to write about. Let’s take the most basic example. A person has a glass of pure water and adds one spoonful of sugar. How does it taste? “Sweet.” Alright, the person adds a second spoonful of sugar. “It tastes sweeter.” How much sweeter? “Umm… More.” Now, add a spoonful of salt. How does that taste? “Umm, sweet-salty. Sort of? Umm, not good.”

    This simple thought experiment shows how difficult it is to write about flavor. At the same time, scientific descriptions give us the exact chemical makeup, but they do not help the reader. “The water contained 500 parts per million of sugar.” “The substance measured 1.0 on the sweetness scale.” Not helping. You’d better add more sugar. It turns out that pure sugar is 1.0 on the sweetness scale. I had to look up this number; this is the only time I have ever used the sweetness scale.

    How about something basic? Describe the taste of an apple. “The apple tastes sour and sweet.” Many foods, such as an oranges, taffy, Coca-Cola or ice cream, fit that description. To understand how an apple tastes, a reader must have eaten an apple and remember the flavor. That requires a lot of prerequisites tasting for our helpless reader.

    Alright, a little more basic. Describe the difference between Budweiser beer and Coors beer. “Coors tastes more watery.” Is “watery” a proper word? Ok, what can I describe? “I like a good amber ale when I eat a hamburger.” Not helping.

    Last week, I made salmon on a cedar plank. I started cooking by taking… Hold on. That was not the assignment. I am supposed to describe the taste. Hmm. “The salmon had a sweet rub on top with a smoky flavor that combined a hint of Rosemary. It was cooked perfectly to a golden brown. The cedar–salmon smell filled the kitchen with an amazing aroma. I enjoyed the delicious taste, and so did my family.” Based on those words, what is the difference between my meal and smoked tuna? Umm, they taste different. I keep using the word taste. This sounds like a preference and not a description.

    While scientific terms exist, we lack universally accepted scientific food descriptions. We also do not have a universal background of flavors. For example, I suspect that about half the planet has never had a Granny Smith apple. They may have had apple juice, apple-flavored food, or a Red Delicious apple, but no Granny Smith apple. So, how could I ever describe how a Granny Smith tastes? “It tastes sour-apple-ee? I got nothing else.”

    How about something more fundamental? Describe hunger. “I am hungry.” A little more… “I am super-hungry.” Not helping. “I am famished.” It’s not a popular word, and it means the same thing. “I am starving.” Wait, starvation is a condition, not a feeling. “I am ravenous.” Technically, no. That is the condition of being hungry. Anti-stuffed? That is a made-up phrase. We have reached the limit of hunger descriptions. Yet, humans spend 5-20% of their day on food, and our entire drive to consume comes down to two words? Apparently.

    Well, what can I describe with words? I can explain how the food looks, how to cook it, how good it feels, and how satisfied the person is after eating. Well, what about the smell? We are a bit more developed in that area and have more descriptions. For example, an unpleasant smell: reeking, foul, putrid, fishy, smoky, stinky… The list continues.

    Oddly, this critical topic has not been tackled. We should have a universally accepted flavor, hunger, taste attributes, satisfaction, and enjoyment. So, let’s invent some words.

Maltese  >Mildly hungry

Quire   >30% yummy

Malarkey  >10% overcooked

Ithimple   >A little too crunchy

Arintingly  >Way too much ginger

Ratoon  >60% too salty

Iressent  >Perfect bitter

Poemess  >Needs 20% more sugar

Smated   >Served at the perfect temperature

Gobble  >Sweet-fatty as opposed to sour-fatty

Sistock  >Ending of a food discussion

    You’re the best -Bill

    March 02, 2024

    Hey book lovers, I published four. Please check them out:

    Interviewing Immortality. A dramatic first-person psychological thriller that weaves a tale of intrigue, suspense, and self-confrontation.

    Pushed to the Edge of Survival. A drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.

    Cable Ties. A slow-burn political thriller that reflects the realities of modern intelligence, law enforcement, department cooperation, and international politics.

    Saving Immortality. Continuing in the first-person psychological thriller genre, James Kimble searches for his former captor to answer his life’s questions.

    These books are available in soft-cover on Amazon and eBook format everywhere.

[taiy4ki]

so yummy beautiful breathtaking ugh

words cannot describe how good this is aughghhfhhfth

"like what you see baby?"

iwaizumi hajime (27) athletic trainer and daddy