#Woot Deals

[ambassadortotrilliusprime]

As it is officially 12:00AM...

IT BE MY BIRTHDAY 🎈🎂🥳🥂🎉

All throughout the last six months or so everytime i saw an awesome post i scheduled it to reblog for that time on my birthday....

So enjoy the brain chaos!!! 💕

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Breath of the Sky Ch 10 (SS meets BotW)

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE :D :D :D

Okay okay, I'm not... entirely happy with this chapter but I'm not unhappy with it, either. It's just kind of awkwardly paced, I feel like, but if I kept going it would take a century to get this sucker out and probably even longer to read it. So here we are.

Summary: When Princess Zelda goes to the Spring of Courage to pray, accompanied by her appointed knight, a giant magical cog spitting out a goddess is the last thing she expects, but it is what she gets. Meanwhile, the Spirit Maiden Zelda is trying to figure out what the heck is happening and where her missing husband/chosen hero is.

(AO3 link)

Chapter 10: A King's Request

Something made a strange noise, pulling her from the inky darkness she'd slipped into. Light. There was light. Taking a slow, deep breath, Zelda furrowed her brow a little as the light pierced through her eyelids, casting an amber glow in front of her eyes.

Amber.

Her eyes opened in an instant. But she wasn’t drained and collapsing into Link’s arms in the Temple of Hylia. She was…

Ah. That’s right.

Zelda shifted, feeling the cotton sheet scratch her bare skin. She was a little chilly, but not uncomfortable, though she did shuffle under the heavy blankets a bit more, pushing some disheveled hair out of her face. She stretched briefly, feeling her blood flow through her body, and glanced to the other side of the bed. Link was snuggled under the blanket all the way to his nose, his fluffy dirty blonde hair barely visible. Zelda smiled, her heart full.

Last night had been magical.

Slowly, she made her way over to her husband, holding him close against her for some extra warmth. Link mumbled in his sleep, turning towards her slightly. She lightly rubbed her nose against his, giggling as he scrunched his face and sniffled in response.

And then she nearly jumped out of her skin when there was a knock at the door.

Heart racing, Zelda bolted up, looked down at her less than fit-for-company appearance, and then snatched the blanket and shoved it up to her chin. Link shivered a little, rolling away from her and taking the blanket with him.

“Link!” Zelda hissed in protest as her fluffy shield was stripped away.

There was another knock at the door. “Your Grace, Hero of—”

“J-just a minute!” Zelda said, trying to sound commanding and only succeeding in sounding like a teenager caught in the midst of breaking some kind of rule.

Looking around frantically, Zelda saw a sash in one corner of the room, her dress in another, Link’s trousers lazily hanging over the chair, and accessories scattered in multiple nooks and crannies. It was a veritable puzzle that she had to piece together. She scrambled out of the bed, face flushing as she immediately went to the window to slam the curtains closed (what time was it? She felt like she'd only just fallen asleep), and then began to gather different articles of clothing.

Link continued to snore in bed. Zelda glanced at him at one point, exasperated. How could he sleep through this?!

Zelda felt something sharp and prickly dig into her heel and she hissed, hopping on one foot for a few seconds, leading to her balance being thrown off as she unceremoniously face planted onto the floor.

Snoring continued to float lazily from the bed.

“Your Grace, Great Hero, is everything all right?” the voice called from the door. It was unfamiliar, whoever it was, and that made Zelda all the more agitated.

Groaning, she pulled herself up from the floor, now shivering. “Yep! Fine! Just another minute please!”

Her foot throbbing in pain, Zelda glared down to see that the offending object that had caused the injury was her headdress from last night. Grumbling, she grabbed the cursed item and threw it onto the chair where it was less likely to cause damage. From her vantage point, though, she could see her dress, all crumpled up by the bed where Link was wrapped up at least three times over in two different blankets, his hair sticking out like he was some freshly harvested vegetable.

Zelda hastily threw the white garment over her head, growling as it fought against her desire to wear it, pulling in odd places with different layers sticking up. This fit just fine yesterday, why was this being such a pain?!

After finally managing to at least get the garment to flow freely from her head to her toes, she padded over to the door, trying to take a calming breath and slow her frantic heart rate. She smoothed her hands over her hair—which she immediately regretted because she could feel how tangled it must have looked—and cracked the door open.

And promptly felt her heart get stolen from her chest.

There was a woman in front of her, roughly around her age, with copious amounts of thick white hair tied in a half up, half down style. Her red eyes were wide, somewhat nervous but holding a fierce determination to them, and her face was stony.

But her forehead… it bore a symbol that Zelda had only seen on one other person.

Impa.

“Who are you?” Zelda asked quietly as she slowly straightened her posture, the door opening wider of its own accord.

The woman in front of her genuflected. “Your Grace, I am Impa of the Sheikah. I come to—”

The rest of her message was lost to Zelda. Impa?! How could this be Impa?! This made no sense!

Wait. Wait. The princess… her name is Zelda. The Hero’s name is Link. This woman must be a descendant or at least of the same people as Impa, then. The name is an honoring, just as the others are.

Zelda took a steadying breath as logic helped calm her whirling thoughts. She knew she had to be right. After all, this woman bore little to no resemblance to the Impa she knew apart from her eyes and the symbol.

The current dilemma, then, was that she was genuflecting, clearly expecting a reply, and Zelda had no idea what she had said beyond her name.

Zelda felt her dress push into her neck uncomfortably, and she pulled the collar down her chest a bit, swallowing. “I’m sorry, Impa, I… I didn’t… it’s nice to meet you, but what is it that you want?”

Impa slowly glanced up at the disheveled teenager and bit her lip, her cheeks blushing slightly. She quickly looked down again, as if ashamed or timid, like she bore some secret that she didn’t want revealed. Zelda grew confused, felt her dress ride up at her neck again, and yanked it irritably.

“Your Grace, I come bearing a message – a request for an audience from the king.”

The king? What could the king want at this hour of the morning? Zelda felt pretty tired, and it was still early light out; surely this could wait?

She supposed she didn’t have much right to argue, though. The king had been nothing but accommodating, and he’d thrown the most extravagant feast in her honor that she’d ever seen, past or present. Zelda sighed, running a hand down her face. Suddenly she felt both obligated and frustrated. How much longer should this farce even go on? She’d come here to find Link. That issue had been more than resolved.

But everything that she’d learned last night…

“Very well,” she said. “I just… does he want me to come right now?”

Impa glanced up again. Zelda finally realized she would remain genuflecting unless told otherwise.

Interrupting whatever the woman was about to say, Zelda hastily waved her hand upward. “Please, get up.”

Impa obeyed, straightening and standing at eye level. It made Zelda almost take a step away. The woman’s gaze was strong, though not as stern as the Impa she’d known. But the red eyes were unique, something that undeniably reminded her of the servant and friend who had guided and protected her for millennia.

“Your Grace, I believe given the situation, it is best to take your time and prepare for the audience.”

“What situation?” Zelda questioned, growing more anxious.

Impa cleared her throat uncomfortably and folded her hands behind her back, tipping her head towards Zelda.

The confusion returned, quelling her worries. “What is it?”

“Your Grace… um, you might want to check your dress.”

“My—“ another firm tug on her collar “My dress is beautiful, I don’t know who made it, but—”

“Your Grace. Check your dress.”

Zelda blinked, bewildered. Looking down, she immediately understood.

She was wearing her dress backwards.

Her cheeks burned, and she knew they likely matched the same shade of crimson as the woman’s eyes. “Ah. Uh, right. Right. I’ll just… um, please tell the king I’ll see him after breakfast and… yes. I’ll see him later.”

Impa nodded mutely, her eyes downcast as she tried to help Zelda save face.

Link snored loudly all of a sudden behind her.

“Thanks!” Zelda yelped, slamming the door in Impa’s face.

Groaning, she turned around and leaned against the door, sliding to the floor.

Well that was a great first impression.

XXX

The morning air was sharp in his lungs as he inhaled with a hiss, dodging a blow by a hair’s breadth. The creamy white trident gleamed in the sunlight, its fiery rose highlights catching his eyes before he pushed the weapon away with his shield.

“Oh! Link, are you alright? I almost hit you!” Mipha said, withdrawing a step or two.

Link hated to admit it, but Mipha was right – she had almost landed a blow that he could usually dodge easily. He wasn’t sure if she had improved her technique so substantially in her absence or if he was that distracted.

Mipha had certainly grown in her fighting prowess, but Link would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little out of sorts.

After last night’s fiasco, he’d spent the rest of the party meandering with the champions. Mipha had kept him fairly distracted and entertained, and he’d appreciated the gesture. It had mostly worked, too, but then he’d gone to bed and the anxieties he’d started to feel came up and clutched him by the throat.

Least to say, he hadn’t slept well.

Link breathed out as evenly as possible. He’d found Mipha first thing in the morning for sparring – he needed to get the energy out, he needed to feel like he could handle this blade once more.

It seemed this wasn’t helping much.

“I’m okay,” he said with a small attempt at a reassuring smile. “Let’s go again.”

But Mipha was distracted now, her gaze somewhere over Link’s shoulder. Confused and a little concerned, he turned to see what she was watching.

Several feet away in an adjacent part of the garden stood in the Hero of Myth.

Link immediately felt his mouth go dry and his body freeze. The Hero hadn’t noticed them yet, staring off somewhere, standing in profile to them. He was wearing the white undershirt and trousers from his outfit last night, substantially more dressed down in its untucked manner. His hands traced along some bushes absentmindedly, gaze distant, face cool and collected. It reminded Link eerily of himself, and he didn’t know what to make of that.

Mipha nudged him from behind. “Link, you should go talk to him. Maybe you two can spar together? Imagine what you could learn from him!”

Link felt his world practically flip upside down. He couldn’t say no; he was too choked up to say anything. He prayed Mipha would notice that he wasn’t in the mood to speak.

Mipha at least picked up on something. His dear friend turned to face him fully, her hand resting on his shoulder, the one warmth in his entire frigid body. He felt a cold sweat start to materialize on his brow, and the hair on the back of his neck stood up. He felt like he wanted to burst out of his skin and was going to throw up.

“What’s wrong?” she asked quietly so as not to alert the Hero.

“How did you get this blade?”

The question had been nearly hissed, almost accusatory. Link had been agonizing over it all night. Had the Hero not believed the tale told by the bard? Had he doubted that Link was actually the bearer of the Spirit of the Hero? How could he tell Mipha that the person he was supposed to live up to thought he was a failure already?

He felt a sharp, agonizing sympathy for Zelda all of a sudden.

There was a sound in the garden up ahead, and Mipha and Link both returned their attention to the Hero.

He’d noticed them.

Link’s eyes locked with his, and his chest tightened so much he couldn’t breathe. He didn’t know what to do.

The Hero of Myth watched them carefully, eyes boring into Link’s soul. His face looked pale in the morning light, and then—

And then he coughed harshly, bending over and rushing somewhere out of sight. Link could still hear him, and Mipha, the healer that she was, immediately ran to his aid.

Was… was he getting ill? It sounded like it, and it made Link’s own stomach churn uncomfortably.

Uncertainty held him back, but a natural empathy urged him forward. Link walked stiffly to catch up with Mipha, who had already run to the Hero’s side, just out of sight around a bend. When the two came back into view, the Hero was on his knees dry heaving into a bush with Mipha kneeling beside him, hand on his back.

“I’m going to get you some water,” Mipha said, rising. She looked pleadingly at Link. “Please keep an eye on him.”

A pang of irritation and horror combined into a strange mixture of a dizzying headache that made him snap to attention and want to scream all at once. Instead, he jerked his head forward in a stiff nod. Mipha watched him a moment longer, the concern in her eyes familiar, but it did little to soothe his anxieties when she’d practically thrown him at the one person he wanted so desperately to avoid.

He supposed there was little point in avoiding him now. His father would tell him to face his fears, anyway.

Link swallowed bile and awkwardly stepped forward, unsure what exactly he should do. Considering the cold reception he’d gotten last night, he was certain the Hero of Myth wanted nothing to do with him. He tried not to think about that.

“S-sorry…”

The weak, hoarse word was barely audible over the Hero’s pants for air, but it cut through the tension in an instant. Link shifted weight between his feet, wondering what he should say or do.

He really couldn’t say anything. He wouldn’t dare. Not after last night.

But Hero or not, this person was clearly feeling horrible. Link… wished he was better equipped for this, but…

The Hero glanced over at him a moment, pale and sweaty and suddenly looking so small. His eyes shifted from Link’s face to the sword on his back, and then he squeezed them shut, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Goddess above…”

Link stared, completely lost. Was the Hero disgusted at the mere sight of him?

Could this morning get any worse?

“Maybe you’ll have better luck than me,” the Hero muttered, his tone deep and dark and biting. Link flinched at the remark, and the one part of his brain that wasn’t just screaming really registered the words.

The response scraped out of him before he could stop it. “What?”

Oh goddess. Oh goddess. What did I just do, shut up shut up SHUT UP—

The Hero rose, wiping his mouth with his sleeve and facing him. He looked… incredibly tired. Placing a hand on Link’s shoulder, he squeezed it for a moment, some strange expression of empathy and worry and pity and guilt at war on his face, eyes constantly flicking from Link to the Master Sword, and then the Hero stepped away, letting his hand fall.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, walking away, leaving Link reeling in the garden alone.

What... what?

Link stood there for one, two, five minutes. And then he heard Mipha approaching.

Overwhelmed and confused, he ran back into the castle before anyone could find him. He...

He needed to talk to Zelda.

XXX

Zelda had come back to an empty bedroom after washing up, eating something, and putting on her knight attire. Though it worried her that Link was already up and about without her even knowing where he’d gone, she had still promised to meet up with the king to discuss… whatever it was he needed.

This was her last day of politely going along with this charade, however. Link was better. There was literally no reason for them to stay here anymore. They… they needed to go home.

Her mind whispered words that had been spoken last night. Legends of a calamity coming over and over again. She shook her head violently.

Maybe Link had been right. Maybe it was a different problem and they attributed it to Demise.

But it wasn’t just that, was it?

The king. The princess. They’re our family. We built this place.

She wanted to stay and learn more. She really did. But they’d just disappeared in the midst of a destructive accident back home. People had to be worrying by now.

Sighing, she clenched her fists and determinedly left the room, allowing the servant Impa to guide her to the main area where the king would be waiting for her. Following a Sheikah named Impa to her destination was so bizarrely familiar and out of place all at the same time that her world was spinning.

How could things be so different and so similar all at the same time? How could things be so astounding and amazing and magical and horrifying all at once? How could this place elate her and terrify her? It was like discovering the Surface all over again. At least here she had Link… but she desperately missed Impa now.

Zelda entered the same room as last night’s festivities, the one where she’d originally met the king. He stood on the ground level awaiting her, his face serious.

Zelda watched him warily. This… didn’t look good.

“Your Grace,” he acknowledged with a deep bow as the doors closed behind her, leaving them alone. “I hope you enjoyed all Hyrule had to offer you last night.”

Zelda lingered a little too long on what had transpired last night, and a blush colored her cheeks. She cleared her throat, shaking the thoughts and feelings away. “It… it was amazing. I appreciate the effort of showing us what Hyrule grows into.”

And she truly did appreciate it. Truly. But… she had a feeling that wasn’t what this meeting was about.

“Your Grace,” the king started slowly. “I… understand that traditions vary, that legends change depending on who speaks them. We did the best we could to maintain our history over the years, but I… cannot help but think that the story we gave you last night was not quite correct.”

Zelda raised her eyebrows in surprise. Had... someone actually figured out that she truly had no idea what the hell was going on? Had the king realized that, despite her past, she was still just a knight from Skyloft? Could she finally put her past behind her?

“I… do not understand the nature of your war against the Calamity,” the king explained. “Only that you and your Hero won it. However… the words spoken of its impending return are true. A prophecy was made many years ago, while my daughter was still a child. The Calamity will come.”

There was such a finality to those words. It wasn’t a matter of if the demon king would return, but when. Zelda felt the bottom drop out of her stomach as the cold, hard realization slammed into her.

Demise was still alive.

Golden Three. How was he still alive?! How was that possible?!

Was… was the king about to ask what she thought he was about to ask?

“Hyrule needs your help, Your Grace,” King Rhoam said finally. “…Zelda needs your help.”

Her mind immediately snapped back to the prayer last night.

“Goddess Hylia, I pray you give me the strength to protect my people.”

Oh. Oh, no. What… what were they expecting of her?

“My daughter is destined to seal away the Calamity, as you once did,” the king continued, unaware of Zelda’s internal crisis. “But she… she has been… having difficulty accessing her powers. She is the key to everything, and if she fails, Hyrule will fall. I… I beg of Your Grace. Please. Help my daughter fulfill her destiny. Help her defeat the Calamity as you once did.”

What?

She… he… he wanted her to be the princess’ guide? But—but she—this was—

What was she supposed to do? Was there a seal keeping Demise at bay? Where was the Triforce?

How had he survived?!

She had no plan here, she had no knowledge, nothing. Despite the confusion, despite the fear and the wonder and the chaos of her adventure, her memories had helped her at least know what she’d needed to do. She’d had a plan in place.

She knew nothing here.

“Where is he?” she asked. “And where’s the Triforce?”

The king’s expression turned to surprise and confusion. “Your Grace?”

“Where is he sealed?” Zelda asked slowly, hating everything about this. She couldn’t believe this was happening. She’d thought the war was over.

She heard Link’s screams in her mind. She felt her soul being ripped out of her body.

Shaking her head subtly, she pressed on, trying to keep her voice even. “Is the seal weakening? What about the Triforce?”

Was this the true reason Link had been thrown into the future? Was this some other plan Hylia—she had put together and she just hadn’t unlocked the memory yet? She… she’d sworn it was over!

“We don’t know where he is,” the king answered, shaking his head. “And the Triforce… the Triforce is an item of myth. I understand it must have been present during your time as the legends state, but… we no longer know of its location, if it even still exists.”

Zelda felt her blood freeze. She had sacrificed everything to protect the Triforce and it… was gone?!

“The ancient Hero of ten thousand years past was able to defeat the Calamity with the assistance of the divine beasts and the princess’ divine power,” King Rhoam spoke. “The Triforce was not used then, either.”

“No!” Zelda suddenly snapped, losing her mind and her composure. “Don’t you understand?! It’s not about sealing, it’s about killing – you can’t kill him without the Triforce!”

Her words echoed in the room, screaming in her mind. Brokenly, she said, “How can it be gone?”

This… this was a nightmare.

So this was what it all amounted to? Everything she and Link had fought for had been lost?

No, she argued back defiantly, closing her eyes and shielding her face with her hands. No. It isn’t all lost. Just look at everything around you! Look at the kingdom they made, despite all the odds!

But…

Impa. The countless beings in her memories. The humans who hadn’t been able to leave the Surface. They’d all died for nothing.

Zelda fell to her knees.

So this was why those legends existed. This was why Demise came back again and again and again.

But how had he survived the first time?! What could she do to stop him?!

Why was this happening?!

“I… I didn’t think it was possible to kill such a beast.”

The king’s voice was so quiet, so unsure, so frightened. Images of people hiding behind her and seeking her aid and protection seared into her mind, and a wave of protective ferocity drove her to lower her hands and open her eyes.

“Your Grace, I…” the king stammered uncertainly, looking downcast. “I have failed you. I do not know anything of the Triforce. But I… I beg of you, please… let me take the fall, but save my people. Help my daughter.”

Zelda let out a shuddering breath, and slowly rose. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know how to fix this.

But she wasn’t going to just leave them like this.

“I’ll help,” she said quietly. “But I need you to do something for me.”

The king’s sad eyes brightened, filled with hope and eagerness. “What does Your Grace need?”

“Send knights to the place where I appeared. A lot of them,” Zelda instructed. “And guard that area so no one can access it.”

She wasn’t making the same mistake as last time, after all. Nobody was going through the Gate of Time.

Golden Three, was… was that why? Was that the reason Demise was still here, countless millennia later?

Zelda’s head was spinning. She couldn’t wrap her mind around this anymore.

“Of course,” the king acknowledged with a nod of his head. “I’ll send my finest soldiers, as will the other leaders. You will have an army of Hylians, Zora, Gerudo, Rito, and Gorons protecting it.”

Gorons? At least she knew what Gorons were.

She supposed she’d be sticking around long enough to figure out the rest of them.

How in the world was she going to explain this to Link?

Oh, Link. She knew that between the two of them he had probably been far more eager to go home. Not to mention…

The only way to defeat Demise was with his help.

But… Zelda wasn’t quite sure how this was going to work. Her entire plan had relied on the Triforce. Link had been chosen because of his unbreakable spirit – the criteria was literally that the power and allure of the Triforce wouldn’t corrupt him. Zelda had held Demise at bay, the Master Sword had guided Link, and…

The Master Sword. That knight.

This was… a mess.

“Thank you,” Zelda muttered, her mind already a million miles away from the room, spinning and confused and so utterly lost. She had no idea how she was supposed to fix this.

I guess I can start by talking to the princess.

XXX

Link was hopelessly lost.

When he’d first awoken to an empty room, he’d wandered outside. The sight of tiny birds was enticing, and it would provide a good distraction. As amazing as last night had been, it was over, and the heavy thoughts weighing on his mind were trying to return.

So naturally he’d had to run into that knight. The new Chosen Hero. The person whose life he’d probably destroyed from his own ineptitude. That had been an entire fiasco, and he was just trying to find his way back to the little house given to him and Zelda inside this large structure. He’d thought it would be easy to find his way back – this place couldn’t be that big, right?

He’d been wrong. This place was huge. He swore it was bigger than Skyloft itself.

Sighing heavily, he leaned against a stone wall as the fires crackled on the torches. He’d been up most of the night with Zelda, and it had been, well, incredible, but also now he was exhausted, he’d already gotten so overwhelmingly stressed he’d gotten ill, and he had no idea where the heck he was.

I’ve got to be close, right? He thought desperately, his head starting to ache.

Link took a fortifying breath and started to walk again. At least he’d finally adjusted to the climate. Surface Sickness could be a pain with the lingering fatigue it often brought, but he’d been down here long enough that he’d adapted. He was sure Zelda felt the same way.

Where even was Zelda? He hadn’t seen her all morning.

A familiar anxiety tried to well its way into his mind, but he shook his head. No one here was going to hurt her; he learned that much from yesterday’s celebration.

Whispers of doubts, worries, and observations started to overwhelm him, and he shook his head again. No. He wasn’t going to think about it. He would just keep moving forward like he always did. Everything was fine.

Link felt some hope spark within him as he saw a door up ahead. That had to be it, right?

Picking up his pace, he opened the door to find himself in an unfamiliar room. White and grey tiles lined the floor and were occasionally covered with red velvet carpet. The stone walls had many bookshelves lined along them aside from multiple arched windows. A desk was in the corner, a vanity on the other wall beside a large four post bed, and a massive spiraling staircase was in front of the wall opposite of him.

Link bit his lip. This wasn’t the room provided to him, so he wouldn’t find Zelda here. But he was so tired, and he couldn’t tell what time it was, but the sun was definitely still hanging heavily, slowly crawling up into the sky. His mind was a fog, trying to hide words of curses and malice in a haze that left him feeling incapable of thinking straight. A nap would do him so good; he could find Zelda when he could actually focus.

Making his way to the bed, he promptly collapsed on top of the blanket, immediately falling asleep.

XXX

Princess Zelda scribbled some notes into her research journal and then leaned back in her seat. After the festivities earlier in the night she’d buried herself in work. She was eager to talk to their esteemed guests about the guardians and the divine beasts, and she was even more eager to learn about their era. Perhaps they knew about the divine beasts? Perhaps they were the ones who had ordered their construction? It was hard to tell – the tales spoke of their development ten thousand years ago, but there were other myths of different heroes and enemies and she didn’t know how they all fit together. Organizing it all in her journal would help.

It also gave her confidence to even approach them. Her brief interaction with Hylia last night had been exhilarating, but there was still a degree of timidity involved. As for the Hero of Myth, he was somewhat of an enigma; his gentle and soft features were unassuming and kind, but his mannerisms sometimes were contradictory. He had much more confidence and boldness in him than her appointed knight; sitting on the arm of the throne so casually with his arm draped around the goddess was quite the gesture, and everyone had commented on it. Zelda wasn’t really sure what to make of him. Still, if she’d learned anything from her experiences with her friend, it was to not judge a book by its cover.

Closing her journal, the princess stood and stretched. She’d probably take a walk around the castle a bit before heading to bed. When she exiting her study, however, she jolted to realize that it was early morning light.

Oh. Oops. No wonder I’m tired.

The princess had a momentary panic as she thought about whether she had any duties to attend to in the morning. When her addled mind found none, she relaxed. Perhaps she’d have time to sleep for a few hours before she was needed. Zelda walked across the bridge between the tower and her quarters and thoughtfully made her way down the spiral stairs into her room.

And then she stopped dead in her tracks as she heard soft snoring.

Her heart racing, she slowly crept towards her bed to see… to see…

Is that the Hero?!

Princess Zelda stared, completely flabbergasted. The Hero of Myth Descended from the Sky was prone on her bed, not even under the covers, not even in sleep clothes of any sort. He looked like he’d just belly flopped onto the mattress and passed out.

Zelda looked around wildly as if she should find someone else in the room. What was—why was he—what was she supposed to do?! What was happening?!

To be in her bedroom – such an action could have someone thrown in lockup, but this was the legendary Hero, this was—this was…

Zelda just stared, her brain fried. She didn’t know what to do.

The Hero continued to snore quietly, undeterred by the princess’ anxiety.

Gulping, Zelda tiptoed closer to her bed. Perhaps… he was unwell? And he just found her room? Or perhaps he had wanted to talk to her? Oh goddess, had he been up all night waiting for her?! No, that doesn’t fit, why would he be sleeping in my bed?!

Following her initial logic, she looked him over to see if he looked ill. Although there were bags under his eyes, a testament to his heavy sleeping, nothing else seemed unusual.

Shaking her head, she reached a tentative hand out and lightly tapped the young Hero on the shoulder. Nothing. Zelda gave another, more confident tap. Still nothing.

She cleared her throat. “E-excuse me.”

The snoring continued.

Starting to grow annoyed, Zelda huffed, “Excuse me.”

The Hero shifted, just a hair, and Zelda’s confidence vanished in a heartbeat. She took a startled step away, but it was for nothing. The Hero remained asleep.

Now what?!

She debated calling a guard or even her father, but she thought better of it. It wasn’t like he was doing anything too offensive, she supposed, even if it made absolutely no sense. Should she keep trying to wake him up? He clearly was exhausted.

Zelda bit her lip. She’d lost her boldness from earlier, no longer wishing to disturb him. She… she guessed he could just stay there. But where was she going to sleep?

Looking around the room and stepping away from the bed, Zelda’s gaze fell on the comfortable red chair in the center. Well… there was that.

I don’t want to sleep in a chair, she grumbled internally, and a part of her was incensed to awaken the Hero once more.

Energized, she tried again, but poking did nothing, speaking did little more than make the man occasionally twitch, and huffing in exasperation fell upon deaf ears.

Good grief, he is a heavy sleeper!

Eventually, Zelda gave up entirely. She didn’t want to bother going to one of the many guest quarters as they were nowhere near her room – and the instant she left her room she’d likely get absconded into some matter or another. She was almost too tired to care at this point.

Resigned to her fate, the princess dragged her feet to the chair, trying to get comfortable in some awkward position, and attempted to fall asleep. Her neck started to ache at the way she had it on the arm of the chair, and she felt confined in her dress, which she didn’t dare change out of while the Hero was in the room.

Well, she supposed she could grab her nightgown and change in the study, but… she didn’t feel comfortable doing so. Besides, what would that look like if a servant came in? She would be practically indecent with a married man, the Hero of Myth, her bloody ancestor in her room.

Maybe since he was her ancestor it wouldn’t look as scandalous? Or would it be even more so? She didn’t know.

Zelda sighed irritably, but then a sound caught her attention. It wasn’t gentle snores. It sounded… it sounded like a whimper.

Stiffening, she listened and heard it again. Uncurling from her chair, she glanced in the direction of the bed to see the Hero turning, his brow furrowed and his nose scrunched in what looked to be fear or worry. Was he waking up?

The Hero continued to shift, looking uncomfortable, and Zelda realized that he was still very much asleep.

A nightmare. He was having a nightmare.

Did heroes have nightmares? What could possibly scare him?

Zelda shook her head. She should know better than to ask that now. Link was spilling with anxiety at all times with the pressure he was under. She wondered if he had nightmares too.

The Hero let out a small whine. Zelda felt her chest clench. She couldn’t just watch him like this.

Rising, Zelda slowly and hesitantly walked to the bed. The Hero was on his side now, facing away from her. His body was tense and occasionally twitched, and he was subtly curling in on himself.

He looked so incredibly vulnerable. So normal. He didn’t look like a mythical hero, or the progenitor of the royal line, or the champion who triumphed over the original Calamity.

He was just a person, like Link. Like her.

Grabbing a hold of her resolve with this thought in mind, Zelda placed both hands on his arm and gave him a hard shake.

The Hero inhaled sharply through his nose, and his body froze. His breathing, initially rising to a level of gasping, was now evening out in careful, measured inhales and exhales. Though the princess couldn’t see his eyes, she could tell he was now awake.

She cleared her throat, trying not to startle him. The mild jump that shook his entire body indicated she didn’t quite succeed.

Quickly turning onto his back, the Hero’s eyes pierced into her, his face a little pale. Zelda swallowed, her nerves returning under his deep blue gaze. She had grown used to long, silent glances from Link, but his eyes somehow seemed… she didn’t know, the lighter blue made them less mysterious maybe. This Hero’s eyes were dark, like oceans that held so much in their depths that she couldn’t see. He seemed to be analyzing her for a moment, making her skin crawl, and then his eyes softened, his body easing into a more comfortable posture.

“Hi,” he said hoarsely, and his face relaxed.

Zelda blinked, not quite expecting such a simple greeting. “Um… hello. A-are you alright?”

The Hero gave a small smile, his head tilting somewhat into the pillow, and Zelda felt her heart melt as her muscles stopped clenching quite so hard. “I’m okay. Are you?”

Zelda bit her lip. “You were having a nightmare.”

His smile faded a little, and he looked away. “It happens.”

Zelda didn’t know what to say to that. She hugged herself, unsure what to do next. The Hero sighed and glanced back at her, asking, “Is this your bed?”

Her exasperation from earlier resurfaced, and she folded her arms. “Yes, actually.”

He hummed a moment and then said, “Is this your side of the bed? Do you have a side?”

Zelda blinked. What?

“There’s plenty of room.”

Zelda blinked again, horrified. What?!

The Hero smiled and stretched, closing his eyes, and then beginning to fall back asleep.

Wait a bloody second— “Um, excuse me.”

The Hero opened his eyes.

“This is my bed.”

The Hero stared at her. “Yes?”

Clearly, there was a miscommunication going on here. Zelda felt her cheeks blush as she grew flustered. “So I sleep in it.”

The Hero twisted, looking at the other side of the bed, glanced back at her, and pat the empty space beside him, bemused.

Was he—?! “I can’t sleep with you!”

The princess didn’t quite mean for her voice to sound like a near squeak when she said that.

The Hero looked even more confused. “Why not?”

“Why not?!” Zelda spluttered, feeling her ears redden as well. “Because—because it isn’t proper!”

“Proper for what?”

Zelda stared at him, mouth agape like a fish out of water.

The Hero furrowed his brow. “A bed’s for sleeping, after all. And there’s plenty of room for you to sleep here too.”

Zelda shut her mouth with a click on her teeth. She opened it again to protest and came up with nothing.

This was… this was ridiculous. But she was running out of both nerve and energy trying to explain how this was not okay, thank you very much.

But… he looked… so confused.

Who was this guy?! This legendary Hero of Myth from the Sky was the biggest enigma Zelda had ever met, and he…

She sighed, defeated. “At least take your boots off.”

Her heart skipped a beat at commanding a legend as if he were a normal person, and then she banished the thought. He was a normal person; she was recognizing that more and more.

And he was certainly an uncultured person. Downright feral, even. Who didn’t understand basic etiquette?!

The Hero bit his lip, looking positively brow beaten. “Sorry.”

Before Zelda could say anything, he kicked off his boots, letting them fall to the side of the bed, and then he slipped under the covers with a content sigh, closing his eyes.

Zelda stared at him. Then stared some more. Then stared some more.

What just happened? Had she just chastised the ancient Hero of Myth? Had he just apologized like a child being scolded? And was he still sleeping in her bed?!

She sighed again, exhausted. There was no arguing at this point. And she was too tired to care. And…

You know what? Screw it. He’s innocent and naïve, there’s no harm to it… it can’t be that bad.

Grabbing her nightdress, she tiptoed to her study, quickly changed clothes, and then made her way back to her room. The Hero was already snoozing. She watched him a moment more, grabbed a robe and wrapped herself in it with flustered energy, and then took a deep breath and settled onto the bed as if she were lying on a bed of charcoals in Goron City.

She did have to admit this was much more comfortable than trying to sleep in that chair, though.

With that thought in mind, Zelda turned to face away from the Hero and settled into an uneasy sleep.

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

accidentally thought too hard about uni and now I want to die

[arcxnumvitae]

Movement halts mid step as a command carried. A group draped in attire befitting of palace security filled her line of vision; not a gap of doubt to be heard. Slowly, her arms extend out from her sides. Grip far from her weapons if only to de-escalate a matter of trespassing. Last thing she needed was an incident over carelessness.

— Not to mention the punishment that would await her.

“Forgive the intrusion.” Had Anna faced a similar issue when she popped by to see that other fae?

Fingers slowly reach for the small pack by her waist; one carefully withdrawn without breaking eye contact. A silent prayer of gratitude for changing the location of her knives lest the guards react with less than enthused patience. Held by the edge, a deep raven envelope rimmed with gold shines under the light. Sigil pressed into melted wax with dusted matching yellow; winged serpent of the sea front and center with the remainder of the crest laid behind it. Faintly she could spot the laced violet among the corners of the invitation; a trick of the light to breathe honor of the Empress’ colors.

“A delivery for King Camhlaidh from Empress Calore.” (Loraine)

@lunarxdaydream || Continuation

Suspicious eyes continued to follow the woman's movement, a collective tensing rippling through when she reached for a pouch at her waist. Upon an envelope being produced, one guard stepped forward to inspect it. A seal marked the back, one supposedly from that empress who had visited a time or two again. Unfortunately...they were unsure exactly of what her seal looked like. Should they risk bringing this messenger to the king bearing a potentially fake seal? ....

The guard with the envelope glanced back to their companion, who made a small gesture with his hand and addressed Loraine.

"We will escort you to the king's advisor to verify this letter. If it is indeed Empress Calore's signature, you will be allowed to present it to the king."

[divabandits-blog]

List of 24 Awesome T-shirts from Woot Deals & Discounts! Posted 11-1-2023!

List of 24 Awesome T-shirts from Woot Deals & Discounts! Posted 11-1-2023!

List of 24 Awesome T-shirts from Woot Deals & Discounts! Posted 11-1-2023! Here is an impressive compilation of 24 remarkable T-shirts available at Woot Deals & Discounts! Stay ahead of the style game with these fantastic shirts. All the details were posted on 11-1-2023. Get ready to upgrade your wardrobe with these amazing finds! #AD Product prices and availability are accurate as of the…

[cynarisgayass]

𓍊𓋼~In the heat of the moment~𓋼𓍊

Type: Short oneshots

Description: WOOT! First ZZZ writing! Let's go! So basically this is like, you're on the run from the ethereals and you're hidden, backed up against a wall. The heat of the moment leads to a kiss because you think you may not make it out in time and it's something you have to do before you die type thing. You get out tho dw. Ngl it's kinda cringey, but do I care? Nope.

Rating: Mature

Reader: GN, is a proxy (not either of the MCs though)

Includes: Nicole/ Billy kid

Nicole:

You're eyes darted in the direction you'd just came from, you had beads of sweat forming on your forehead and your heart felt like it was about to pound out of your chest. They were getting closer, ethereals more menacing then you'd ever seen and despite your expert knowledge on the hollow...there didn't seem to be a way for you to ditch them...or even get out for that matter.

"Proxy! What do we do know?! Billy and Anby are already outside and those things are catching up?! Hello!! I'm not paying the deposit if you don't answer me!" Nicole punched your arm gently, you could tell she was starting to get scared and if you were being honest, telling her you didn't know how to get her out was probably the most difficult thing you'd ever done.

"I'm sorry Nicole, I...I should've found another escape route...done more." You looked down at your feet, but her hands grabbed onto your shoulders and she shook you, "Proxy, snap out of it. If we can't get out of here then...then I'm not going down without a fight and I'm not going to have you moping around in our final moments!"

Your eyes met hers and despite everything, she had smile on her face as she spoke to you. Of course, you'd always considered her beautiful, but in that moment you realized what you needed to do, before anything could force the two of you apart for good. You pulled her closer to you and closed the gap, kissing her as the heat of the moment painted feelings in both of your hearts.

You only parted when Billy's voice rang out in your ears and a rope swayed in front of you, guiding you to safety.

Billy kid:

Billy's guns rang out in your ears as you bolted into the nearest building, slamming the door shut behind you when the two of you were safely inside. He hurried to barricade it while you caught your breath, ethereals clobbering around outside and your head spinning with every option of escaping, but there didn't seem to be any. You were out of options..."Billy, i-i don't know what to do. That was our only exit...i can't think of any others and my bangboos malfunctioning....we are gonna die! I'm sorry! This is all my fault!"

You felt tears prick at your eyes and emotions tug at your heartstrings, of all the times you could have failed a mission...why know.

"Woah now Proxy! Don't blame yourself! In my eyes you're my Starlight Knight! You worked so hard to get us out of here and I know you tried your best, that's all I could ask for...and I'm just glad, I'm not alone." He shoved his gun back in his holster and patted the top of your head gently, it was a little random sure...but it felt nice.

The poorly made barricade started to give out and the only thing you could think to do before you were corrupted by ethereals, was seal the deal with the cyborg you'd fallen in love with. You stood up straighter and leaned in, placing a soft kiss on his metal face as he (somehow??) blushed bright pink.

"Proxy, Billy!! This way! We cleared a path!"

The two of you snapped your attention behind you, were Nicole and Andy were standing, with all to knowing smiles on their faces. Apparently Nicole had already made bets on when you'd finally share your feelings...though now wasn't the time to collect...yet.

[simphoraa]

Sweet & Sour Legacy Challenge - Sims 3

Created by Simphora & Gabrielle-kl 

Hey guys! Surprise, surprise. Me and Gabby did a little something.. we created a Sims 3 challenge! Woot-woot! This is our very first time creating a challenge together. We had such a blast. I’d like say this challenge is fun and unique. We put our FOOT into making this because us Sims 3 simmers are in desperate need of more challenges. Also, feel free to check out Gabby’s amazing challenge called, Not Your Average Legacy Challenge. 

The Sweet & Sour Legacy Challenge is a six generation legacy challenge inspired by fruits. These fruits have a sweet and sour aesthetic for each generation. For example, the sweet fruit generations are compassionate and up-beat. Meanwhile, there’s a little twist with the sour fruit generations because it’s more pessimistic and chaotic. All-in-all, if you're a simmer that is looking for a fruit themed and drama fulfilled legacy challenge, this is a challenge for you!

If you’re interested in doing this challenge, please feel free to tag us: @simphoraa @gabrielle-kl​ or #sweet&sourlegacy. We would love to see your progress and gameplay!

R U L E S:

You must follow each generation in chronological order. 

It is recommend that you use all of the provided traits.

If you do not have a certain Sims 3 expansion pack that is related to the traits, careers, or goals, you can make adjustments.

The aesthetic color/colours for each generation is optional.

Before moving on to the next generation, you must complete all of the required goals.

DO NOT use any money cheat codes (ex: motherload, kaching, or rosebud).

Generation #1 - Watermelon: One in a Melon

You like to see yourself as the main character, and you think that everyone that comes in contact with you thinks so too.

Everyone absolutely loves you! Or do they? As unique as you are, you want to be a famous actor or actress. Soon enough Hollywood would be signing your name on everything! You find yourself chilling with A-list celebrities and even date a few. You have everything you could ever want! No one can ruin this for you, except maybe yourself.

Get started: Live in a small starter house or apartment. Purchase your basic necessities to survive, and progressively buy more necessities once you start earning some simoleons. Good luck!

Starting simoleons - §1,200

Traits - Charismatic, Dramatic, Snob, Star Quality, and Workaholic

Career - Film

Lifetime Wish - Superstar Actor

Aesthetic Color/Colour

Goals:

Become a five-star celebrity

Ruin your reputation 2 times, make your life a little scandalous! (ex: get publicly disgraced)

Master the Charismatic skill

Reach level 10 in the Film Career (choose the actor branch)

Have 2 close friends

Host a meet & greet once a week (ex: sign autographs and take pictures with fans)

Fall in love with one of your fans

Have as many kids as you want

Generation #2 - Lemon: When life gives you lemons.. you have to deal with some sour sh*t!

Sigh! Your childhood was already enough as it was with being a nepotistic child, but now there’s even more shenanigans.

Apart from hiding in your parents' shadows and not being the main focus when it comes to the paparazzi. You carry a nice and sweet persona on the outside. Those who were fortunate enough to have a conversation with you say your personality is like, “stuffing their mouths with a bunch of sour candy”, but you didn’t hear that from me. Just know, it’s okay to loosen up a bit. You do not always need to leave a bitter taste in one’s mouth.

In the course of time, you finally meet someone and insert yourself into their life. Love makes you do some silly things. You want to help them with their unlawful issues because you think that you can help them figure things out and get their life back on track. Realistically speaking, you would never think of laying your eyes on someone with a completely different personality than yours and a terrible outlook on life. Oh boy! You're in for a nice treat.

Traits - Bookworm, Grumpy, Hopeless Romantic, No sense of humor, and Perceptive

Career - Journalism or Private Investigator

Lifetime Wish - Star News Anchor or Pervasive Private Eye

Aesthetic Color/Colour

Goals:

Get romantically involved with a criminal  

Be disliked by a few sims. Having “friends” isn’t your thing because people disappoint you

Master the Writing or Logic skill

Reach level 5 in the Journalism or Private Investigator Career, and then quit or get fired

Have 1 failed marriage

Have only 1 child

Have a bad relationship with your child

Find a hobby or skill, and make a source of income out of it

Have a rebound relationship with someone

C H O I C E:

This generation has a choice for you to make. These are choices that you could build off of and integrate into your storyline.

Hmm, it looks like you have found love again. Are you genuinely happy this time? You may be a little traumatized from the last relationship. Just remember, everyone isn’t the same. This rebound relationship could be turning into something really serious. There may even be wedding bells in your future. Do you want to give marriage a second chance or stay in the “dating” stage?

Generation #3 - Strawberry: You’re the sweetest pick of the patch!

Everyone loves you, at least this time. Nobody is actually lying. Good job! Everyone finds you to be the sweetest sim in the patch. And, trust me, you will most definitely take full advantage of all this attention. You mainly use it for a good cause. You love power, but not in an evil kind of way. You want to use that power to help those in need.

You attend University in hopes of being the future president of the free world and eventually start raising a happy family that is way better than how your current family dynamic is right now. I don’t really know anything, but deep down you want to be better than your parents because you have a weird feeling that they were doing some shady things before you were born.

Traits - Friendly, Family-Oriented, Good, Irresistible, and Schmoozer

Career - Political

Lifetime Wish - Leader of the Free World

Aesthetic Color/Colour

Goals:

Fix your relationship with your parent

Maintain A’s in school and even aim to become an honor/honour roll student (child-teen)

In high school, join the debate club

Enroll into University and major in Communications

Host a rant/protest once a week

Donate to a charity once in a while

Join a Social Group (Nerd, Rebel, or Jock)

Throw a party every weekend in Sims University

Earn the Communications degree

Reach level 10 in the Political Career

Be a good role model as a parent and a faithful spouse

Have about 2-4 kids

Retire from the Political Career once an elder

Generation #4 - Green Apple: One bad apple doesn’t spoil the whole bunch..

You want to find love just like how your parents have it. You can’t seem to find someone that fits the description of your dream partner. All of your attempts seem to fall flat. Why? You’re not that bad of a person. You’re just exploring a bit. You may be a little picky, but everyone has their own personal preferences within a person. Right? Hmm.. maybe you're just picking the wrong kind of sims? Do not give up. Keep putting yourself out there until you find the one. Just do not get yourself caught up. They say the world is one tiny place..

Traits - Commitment Issues, Flirty, Over-emotional, Social Butterfly, and Unlucky

Career - Any self-employed career

Lifetime Wish - Heartbreaker

Aesthetic Color/Colour

Goals:

Maintain a good relationship with your parents

Create an Online Dating Profile

Go out on a date every weekend

Have 10 failed relationships (get caught cheating or initiate a break-up)

Have an accidental baby from a hook-up

Avoid/Lose contact with some of your friends. You forgot about them. You’re too “caught up” in love

Start a Personal Blog

Post daily blogs about your life

Reach level 7 in Social Networking skill

Attempt to meet someone through the Sim Finder App

C H O I C E:

This generation has a choice for you to make. These are choices that you could build off of and integrate into your storyline.

Good news! It looks like you may have found the sim of your dreams through your blog. Out of all those fishes in the sea, it only took ten different sims to find them. Do you try to fix your reputation, and finally settle down or continue to be a.. heartbreaker?

Generation #5 - Blueberry: Life is very sweet, and you are naturally sweet

Being generous and compassionate is one thing, but doing it all the time, even to the sims that do not deserve it.. gets draining. You kept it pushing. Hey, even I am surprised you lasted this long. Everyone makes mistakes. Although, some people are just unforgivable. It turns out you're the type of sim that doesn’t hold others' mistakes against them forever because holding grudges is immature.

You’ve studied hard to be in a career that has long tiresome hours where you're barely at home, and if you think you got lucky in some extra lounge time – Oh! There goes your alarm, it’s time to clock in! Unfortunately, since you're never home, some things just seem to slip under the rug. Only so much can be slipping through the cracks for you to be completely oblivious. Hmm, I wonder how long this has been going on for? I could never trust someone again after that stunt. Could you?

Traits - Ambitious, Eco-Friendly, Friendly, Genius, and Loves the Outdoors

Career - Science

Lifetime Wish - Become a Creature-Robot Cross Breeder or Renaissance Sim

Aesthetic Color/Colour 

Goals:

Have your sim live the Eco-friendly lifestyle (ex: own a bicycle, eat organic food, recycle, etc)

Start a garden

Fish once a day

Catch/Collect 5 different uncommon or rare type of fishes

Master the Gardening, Handiness, and Fishing skill

Grow a plantsim or create a small farm (ex: raise chickens, cows, horses, etc) [PICK ONE]

Fall in love with one of your co-workers

Once married, make your Spouse have 2 affairs and you must stay with them

Try repairing your marriage with your spouse, but only if you catch them cheating

Generation #6 - Grapefruit: Don’t be such a sour puss!

Let’s be realistic here. You need to get your life together. I’m sorry. I know this is something you do not want to hear, but ya need to put a pep in your step and do something with yourself. Pronto!

You find it quite unfair how other sims around you get to go on fancy trips, have nice cars, live in mansions or high-rise buildings, and afford expensive meals. You wonder to yourself how one can achieve all these kind of lifestyles. Dangerous choices can lead to serious consequences, but it’ll never stop you. I would say you like to live your life on the edge. So, what if you leave a place with five different things that do not belong to you? Any who --- hey, wait a minute... since when did your neighbor/neighbour get such a nice car? Oh my god! Did they seriously leave their keys in the slot like that? Someone could just steal it. It is a really nice car though. I think I might take it for a little spin around the block.. Finders keepers, losers weepers!

Traits - Athletic, Childish, Hot-headed, Kleptomaniac, and Night-owl

Career - Criminal

Lifetime Wish - Possession is Nine Tenths of the Law

Aesthetic Color/Colour

Goals:

Steal 3 items a day

Possess §50,000 worth of stolen items (do not sell anything)

Befriend your ALL of your neighbors/neighbours. No one knows what you do in your free time. You could get some valuable goodies from them, wink wink

Get arrested

Work out 3 times a week at the community Gym

Master the Athletic skill

Live in a house worth over §100,000

Scuffle with someone once a week

Adopt a child

C H O I C E:

This generation has a choice for you to make. These are choices that you could build off of and integrate into your storyline.

Uh-oh, there’s a new addition to the family. Now, you have a lot of responsibility on your hands. This is very important to you. Is this the perfect time to finally get your life together by quitting your job as a Criminal and find a new job? Or, remain a Criminal, but hide it? This has been your lifestyle for a while. Just remember that this could also make you look like a “bad parent” because children can be easily influenced.

If you have made it to the end of this challenge, we want to thank you so much for participating and completing it. Let us know what you think as well!

[respectthepetty]

Background Noise in Wandee Goodday

This started because of that "First Kiss: Do you believe in first kiss?" poster Yak ripped in the elevator

And I was going to write something about the importance of clocks in Yak and Dee's relationship

Since they made a deal to fake it for four months, the clocks are always present

And counting down their time together.

But then I also wanted to write about Yak still seeing his necklace on Dee when he imagined Dee kissing Ter during his boxing match.

So instead of writing small separate posts, everything is going here in quick snippets starting with the how Yak's life is all about boxing, all the time.

He has the boxing gloves name plate, and so does Yei

He has nothing but pictures and books of boxers all over his room

His clock has a pair of gloves in the center and his decorations all have boxing gloves, say "eat, sleep, box, repeat," and show a boxer with the statement "I am the best"

The posters over the bed and the pictures on the nightstands are of him and his brother in their boxing gear.

And even the pictures in the house are of boxers, and of course the smiley face boxing gloves.

So I liked that the smiley face gloves tied to the smiley face balloons Yei gave Cher.

I thought about mentioning the signs, but we all see those, so instead I'll focus on shirts, like Dee's shirt is three angels with "Saint Michael" and says to "Say a Prayer and Get Lost in the Flames." Saint Michael is the ultimate protector against wickedness and temptation, yet the shirt says to embrace it. Yak's shirt says "love is giving freedom" and is part of a longer lesson about love not being about possession or control but about love setting people free.

About Last Night is an American romcom about two people who have a one-night stand and fall in love. The original and remake both show the couple's ups and downs with communication as they deal with their shifting feelings.

When Yak goes over for dinner and finds Dee in Ter's apartment, his shirt says "Casual Active Original Wear" yet the only part we ever see throughout the entire sequence of events is "CASUAL"

Normally, Yak's shirts are motivational, like "Success"

And leading up to Yak's fight, his shirts become more motivational like the shirt he wakes Dee up in states that winning is a mental game.

"Good things are coming"

And how even though going uphill is hard and going downhill is easy, the uphill battle is best because the view is better.

But the best shirt is when he excitedly goes to his appointment after his one-night stand with Dee since it says "Heart Melt" and explains that a heart melts when a person begins to have feelings for another person.

Dee also gets sentimental after they listen to the song together on the balcony about loving someone because his shirt says "Relation: Friendship involves a lot of love"

I'm sure the "Favorite" shirt has meaning since he is wearing it as he thinks about missing Yak, but I just want everyone to know that is Monument Valley in the picture which is part of the Navajo Tribal Parks (woot woot!), and I'm proud to see it in a Thai series.

Finally, I would just like to appreciate whoever put Inn and his arms in this "Heavy Metal" shirt.

[aliaology]

NOW THAT WE DONT TALK

summary: erm.. idk for this one but pt. 8!

warnings: erm none…

series masterlist

user

liked by user, user and 287,826 others

user upcoming singer, y/n marner found crying hotel pool after a party her close friend had the night before.

📸 : user

comments

user yall dk how to leave my girl ALONE

user FR dick riders ong!!

user why is this such a big deal like are girls not allowed to cry

user bet u its bc of trevor or jack lol

user also sabrina carpenter was the one with her after the party too!!

user wtf is this lol

user 🔥🔥

user can we glaze someone else for once

user y was girl crying at a POOL 💀

user she prolly needed fresh air dawg

user this is WILD

user hope jack sees this xx

ynusername hi yes this is in fact me crying lol!! i just had an extreme hangover and was very overwhelmed xx thats all!

user poor baby :((

user lmfao who asked

user k and

user feel better babes

ynusername

liked by marner_93, austonmatthews and others

ynusername this is not me condoning alcohol, but this is me condoning a much needed drink!

comments

marner_93 im kicking your ass when you get home

ynusername and that wont be for awhile xx 🥳

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ynusername only the burn

colecaulfied fav marn

ynusername always

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edwards.73 are u coming back to umich soon..

ynusername yes pookie

edwards.73 finally 😒

ynusername dont give me that attitude

gracieabrams 🤩🤩

im making a book on wattpad woot woot!!

tags: @slaythehousebootsdown13 , @lxnceclercs , @honethatty12 , @outrunangelss , @absolutelyhugh3s , @hockeyboysarehot , @lovinbarzal , @shadowsndaisies , @um-mads , @bqbylon , @whoreforthehughesbrothers , @Robloxlover2007 , @p3nislawd , @alexx-stancati , @queenmendes , @-eedwardss , @if-my-heart-bleeds , @love-like-woaah , @freds-slut

[feelo-fick]

WELCOME TO PHIO'S EXTREMELY SELF INDULGENT AU HOUR!!!

"Oh, FINALLY, another visitor! It's so quiet in here, it's unnerving..."

—

This AU was meant to be posted on halloween but eh.... Happy Thanksgiving? HAHAHHA

still dont have a name for it, but basically, back in october i was suddenly hit with the need to have a halloween au, so now we have ghost-ified prismo and vampire/witch-ified scarab :D ( although didnt finish the scarab reference spread in time because uh, school and i lost motivation unfortunately )

au synopsis and rambling below the cut!!

the premise of this au is simple : scarab is a real estate agent whos known for his manners ( never barges in, always waits to be invited! though it is a little weird how he keeps asking to be let inside even if they already agreed that he was going to come over... ) and efficiency at his job - that is, convincing people to buy high-end housing for a good price. although his social skills need some... work, his ability to persuade people isnt something to be laughed at.

unfortunately for him, persuading the higher-ups is a completely different story - which he learned the hard way after flunking something big for the company. they dont choose to fire him, no. instead, they put him through a trial, assigning him to sell their most unprofitable property : the mansion in a small town locally known for being haunted by an "evil spirit". if scarab manages to sell it (for good profit) within six months, he is excused and is able to go on with his job. if not... well, best not to think about it, yes? after all, he'll succeed with ease - all he has to do is dispel any worries about some fake "ghost" that only exists as a result of filthy rumors. maybe clean up the place. not too hard, right?

meanwhile, stuck inside said mansion is an extremely bored prismo. hes been hangin around this place for like... how many years now? forty? a hundred? meh, all the same, lately the place has been quieter than usual. i mean- of course people dont just walk into a creepy mansion every day, but there would usually be at least a few bold kids or vloggers coming in now and then for him to entertain but even then they wouldn't stay long ( for obvious reasons ). and now, just some unbound spirits or dumb animals would pass by and thats about it. a guy can only entertain himself for so long, yknow?

that is, until today. when some posh-looking business man entered the premises and started snooping around ( whats the deal with that, by the way?? ). must be prismo's lucky day!! this is the perfect chance to pull out all the stops and play the FUNNIEST prank ever! hah!

... oh. looks like things've gotten a little out of hand.

—

WOOT WOOT WOOTTTTTTTTTTT!!! im so so happy to finish this because ohhhhh my god this has taken ages for no reason other than the fact that ive been really dragging myself to make presentable art JSNDJSJXNSJX.... i realize that i have never worked in real estate ( or at all ) which means i have probably fucked something up but uhh um ill deal with the backlash later :"D im also realizing how many odd unanswered bits and bobs this au is going to have in the future, which... i am ignoring for the most part for now, but there are SOME things that i DO have figured out like ghost lore... but thats for another time, for now i leave you with this >:)

[deafsignifcantother]

sanctum

♥ summary: after being flabbergasted at meeting a deaf person for the first time, and after husk gives him a little lesson, angel approaches with an apology. based off of if music be the food of love woot woot but i changed the reader to be a little less obvious it's the other protag so it's easier to consume for people who aren't interested in the series bc i love my audience :3 ♥ relationship: angel dust and x deaf woman reader (platonic) ♥ word count: 2.2k ♥ notes: for @glitched-out-dusk , reader talks with alastor a lot bc i actively hc alastor knows asl and i'll never change that in my stories

The first time Angel saw you, he didn't try to communicate. He just analyzed you, staring you up and down, wondering if you were faking your Deafness. You stared at him back with a small smile. The moment only lasted a few seconds since Charlie decided it was time to butt in and start a conversation with you. Angel kept glancing over, his arms crossed, watching your body movements and how your eyes flicker around. You stare at others' lips, which is a weird habit, and though you have a clueless look in your eyes, you never look away from others' faces.

You are the first visitor in months after Sir Pentious. Since he came, Charlie hoped another visitor would seek redemption, and her positive affirmations came true. Angel only has expectancy this day. It's not like any other person will come knocking on the door.

His brain sinks into dirty thoughts while he watches you: how loud would you moan if you were doing the nasty? What would please a deaf girl most?

Husk can practically hear the porn star's thoughts, but Angel Dust's forcing those thoughts into his head to repress what he really feels. His heart decides on feeling a tinge of forsaken loneliness, he's going to be forgotten again, isn't he? But you're the one most isolated with the language barrier. You might be the forgotten one, right? Does he, selfishly, want that?

It is all Angel can do to imagine what you must be feeling, understand the situation you've found yourself in; dealing with everybody and losing social interaction. He's become a part of that cause, hasn't he?

Damn you. Damn you for forcing him to learn something new. Damn you for making him realize how empty he feels in the group and how he doesn't want you to feel the same way.

So sometimes, after you go to sleep, he'll stay up with Husk, both cooing at him and begging him to teach basic sentences.

Simple signs stick with Angel, even as drunk.

"Is hello that easy?" He asks. Husk just laughs.

"Some signs are a lot easier than you'd think."

Husk is rusty in his ability. He's only had to use the language a few times when he was alive, and he doesn't remember ever interacting with an actual Deaf person. Surely, he had learned it for a good reason. His soul is so long gone that he can't even remember.

But the alphabet sticks with him, and so do gambling-related signs. He picks apart those sentences and tries to teach Angel the words rather than their meanings when pieced together.

And one night, not even a week since you arrived, somebody tapped Angel's shoulder as he leaned over the bar's counter.

He turns, hair bouncing with the whip of his head, and he bites the inside of his lip when he sees you. He finger spells your name, and you can only give him a sympathetic smile in your sleepy haze.

"Good job," you sign to him before turning to Husk. "Do you have water over here, or is it in the kitchen?"

He stares at you blankly. You, water, pointing to the bar, pointing somewhere else, question face. "Yeah, give me a second."

Angel eyes you, taking notes in his head. Your hands move slower when you sign to Husk, compared to signing with Alastor, and you tend to sign high so Husk can focus on your hands instead of your eyes.

Holding back a yawn, you rub your eyes while sitting on a stool, taking the very full glass of water and sipping the top. If you sit here, they'd have to acknowledge your presence, but they need to be more confident to hold a conversation. What could they even talk about? Card dealing? Sex?

You look between them and smile to yourself, dropping your head and looking away in case they try to start signing. You're just here for water, not to be a test subject. The more they practice, the better they'll be.

A small groan leaves your throat. As you turn to Angel, he stops talking to Husk, closing his lips and searching your lifted hands. You sign your name, giving him your name sign, hoping he'd understand. When he stares at you in panic, you fingerspell your name and then wave it off, signing your name again.

Husk speaks up, dropping his voice. "It's her name. You don't gotta fingerspell it all the time."

Angel glances over, whispering as if you'd overhear. "Do I gotta use it everytime I see her? When do I use it?"

"It's a fucking name, you don't go around naming Charlie every time you see her."

Your eyes flicker back and forth between the two of them. Husk pauses, and so does Angel, almost in alarm.

"Idiots." You're not even sure they understood the insult, but you keep going. You grab the glass with one hand, signing with the other. "I know you filled this up just to keep me here."

Husk shrugs, pretending to understand, and grabs a bottle (copying your actions) and drinks it. Angel stares with red cheeks, awkwardly holding his own and mimicking the movement.

You fight a frown; they're so annoyingly cute.

So you chug the drink, closing your eyes as you do so. Angel would have preferred if you had stayed, but he had to say his goodbyes with his hand twitching as if he was waving wrong. You get up from the stool. "See you tomorrow," to Husk and a simple wave to Angel.

They both watch you walk off.

"Could have been worse," Husk mumbles.

"Great. What if she thinks I'm a dumbass." He puts his check in his hand, his elbow pressing hard into the wood of the counter. The words sound faint coming from Angel. The change of heart has Husk grinning behind a bottle. "What's come over you?"

He runs a hand through his hair. "Nothing, it's whatever."

.

Once again, once you wake up, you walk downstairs and head straight to the bar. But Husk isn't there. A prominent frown falls onto your face. The water you drank last night was the most comfortable liquid you've ever had the pleasure of drinking in Hell. It cleared your throat and overstayed its welcome in your need for hydration. You enter behind the bar, eyeing the crazy amount of bottles and the array of fridges. How does he remember all of these products? Perhaps he just drinks them and hopes they do something. Your hand runs across the area for mixing, feeling the sticky covers. Maybe he's not the best bartender.

You grab a glass, wiping off the rim just in case, and you eye the hose-like thing nearing the sink.

Husk watches from afar but your focus is too direct to perceive his presence. You push down on a trigger as lightly as possible, and a powerful burst of water fills the cup, wetting your arms. You place the glass on the counter and use a hand towel to dry yourself off. Is this thing stained? You hope not. It's so unclean back here.

You see the blurry colors of Husk in the corner of your eye before you look up at him. He can't help but give you a small, unadorned smile.

You figured the water out yourself; that's cute; the whole ordeal was a show he would have paid to watch.

He crosses your body and stands next to you, grabbing the hose from you and showing you the switch on it. It's not a button but a pressure-related scale. Your mouth forms an O.

Angel isn't the only one who wants you to feel welcomed.

Vaggie is having issues letting Angel be the second guest getting so close to you. She knows that he is undoubtedly someone who can't read the room and will fit sexual words into any conversation. His ability to read the room is either nonexistent or actively ignored. She watches him practicing signing with Husk whenever he can. Maybe he's trying to learn complete sentences before harassing you.

She also notices that whenever he hears the click of your shoes against the floor, he'll look up with excitement, clenching his fists to calm down his delight. He always tells himself, 'this is the day I'll actually talk to her.' The day doesn't come for a while since whenever he sees you, you're by Alastor. Alastor will tell you stories about his life (lies?) and things that happened in the hotel. He'll describe the nightshade assemblages before explaining how often their railings have fallen apart.

Angel can't understand anything that demon says but glimpses at your hand shows how comfortable you are around him. Angel stares expressionlessly at the two of you, signing back and forth, and your smiles, wide. The jealousy heats him constantly, but nothing ever comes from it.

It will take a while before he can talk to you like that. The realization puts him on the brink of giving up.

Beer dribbles downward, discoloring the tips of his chest fur. The bar is messy, as if it's not the middle of the day. His confidence rises when he drinks. All he needs is a moment where you're alone. Or not.

With all his might, he drags himself sloppily towards the lounge and almost flops onto the couch next to you. He steps over the threshold, inhaling deeply. Alastor eyes him with his every step, and you follow his gaze, staring at Angel. Angel braces himself by gripping the top cushions when he staggers close enough to the couch. He raises his right hand, fingers wiggling in thought. It almost comes across as a "wait."

Alastor's eyes go to you, half expecting you to look back at him and roll your eyes, but you continue your stern gaze at Angel.

Angel drops his head, looking up at you through his eyelashes, "I'm sorry."

The chandelier darkens his face from above, and gravity pulls down the fluff of his head that seems to have been unbrushed this morning. At your silence, his confidence melts leisurely down from his head to the tip of his fingers.

"Sorry for what?" You drop the smile that was on your face and adjust yourself to face him a little more. The major thing you notice is him signing with one hand comfortably.

"I'm sorry you only have him to talk to." Angel's interpretation of 'him' wasn't a point but a wave in the direction, almost a 'that guy over there.'

You laugh. "We are talking now, aren't we?"

More apprehension burns a hole in his chest. He finally stands up, using two hands instead of one. "I'm running out of signs I know."

"Are you sure?" You finally switch your position on the couch to face him completely, ignoring Alastor at last. Your eyes look him up and down. "You look tired."

Tired, he knows that sign.

"Just a little."

You hum, reaching out to him. Your fingers brush his fur, feeling the drip, trying to wipe it away. "Sure."

You unveil a smile that looks as if it were snatched from Charlie's at her bondings. But your eyes continue to stare intently. "You should go to sleep. Stop drinking so much. It's not even night."

"I got things to do."

"Really? Astonishing."

He snaps into focus. One day, he was worried about whether he was waving right, and days later, he signs simple sentences you understand. His vision aims at your eyes, the area he wonders he should actually be looking at.

His thoughts are interrupted by the clearing of a throat. "I'm afraid you're intruding," Alastor says. Angel frowns at him, and you follow his gaze.

"Alastor," you sign with a psah, "he's just practicing."

"Rather annoyingly, my dear. I don't know how you do it."

"With patience."

Patience, Angel doesn't know that sign. When you whip your head back and give a playful shrug, you lean in. "He's going to get pissy if I talk any longer. You're doing a good job, Angel. Don't doubt yourself."

You grab his hand, holding his pointy fingers and maneuvering his fingers to form a thumbs-up. If he doesn't understand half of your signs, at least he can understand that. And then, with a wink, you turn back to Alastor, who lets out a hum in disapproval at the whole ordeal.

The flicker of the lights went unnoticed as Angel marched over to Husk, a big smile on his face. He had left a manly collection of bottles surrounding the area, which Husk had politely taken care of.

Husk chuckles before Angel can even get close. "Yeah?"

"You won't believe it," Angel boasts. "I actually got her approval."

"Wow," it almost sounds sarcastic. "Good work."

Angel plops down on a stool, holding the edge counter to stretch out his hands, dramatically straightening his shoulders and putting pressure on the middle of his palms. "Now, whiskers, do I get a reward? I've been a good boy."

Husk grimaces as if he's smelled a foul odor. "Not excited for the day you learn how to sign that."

"She'll be ecstatic," Angel smiles at himself. "Won't even see it coming."

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Heart Killers time, woot woot!

I do have to say, watching what's happening with Jack & Joker right now, I hope people are not letting their expectations get ahead of them with this one either... though I know that's probably a futile wish. Expectation is such a thief of joy, y'all.

Anyway, my only expectation in this is I will have a good time, so let's do it!

How this man doesn't just expire from Bison doing this to him, I have no idea.

Oh, this line. Jojo knows us so well.

Ooh, we're having a black vs red debate!

In Bison's defense, he looks really good in red.

Something cracks me up about Kant looking for hookups at the bowling alley. Is that really good hunting ground? Maybe in Thailand? Definitely not in the U.S.

Oh Jojo, you bad, bad man.

I am gonna get full on obsessed with Dunk's tummy, aren't I?

Also just realizing how much of this show I am going to spend thinking how good the pairings of FirstDunk & JoongKhaotung could be...

Lolol, target acquired!

Ha, this is so me when a man tries to tell me what to do.

I like Bison being all "if you wanna fuck me, just say so". We have a very direct man here.

Nooooo, Style don't be a stupid driver.

I was not expecting an early Fadel/Style meetup! See, it's fate.

Way to make a horrible first impression Style! But I am loving how their dynamics are. Fadel is such a tight ass, it's gonna be great when he cracks.

Quite a first time scene for our boys! And people say GMMTV is gonna tamp down the gay, lololol.

Also can we take a moment to admire this shot? The red, the mirrors, there's a lot going on here. Beautiful.

I like that the burger uniforms are a mix of Fadel & Bison colorwise.

I also think it's hilarious that Fadel ordered black plastic gloves to maintain his aesthetic.

Omg, I am dying that Bison shot a gun at karaoke. He's a little disaster.

Hmmmm, mother? Interesting...

Ooh, silver fox alert!

Always appreciate some eye candy for us older fans.

Ah, of course the cop is a manipulative jerk. Hot, but a jerk.

Ain't this just a mood.

Heh, when the man you just had mind-blowing sex with turns out to be an assassin you have to stalk. If I had a nickel...

Oh, I think Style is gonna be my favorite. Dumb and chaotic.

As much as I enjoy a height difference couple, there is something about two men who are the exact same height...

Also love the black & white - because they are opposites!

Wait...does Bison not know how to cook burgers? Did... did he just put the raw patty on the board they use to chop veggies? Am I going to get stressed about food safety in this action romcom?!

I like that Fadel has this subtle air of general menace about him.

Aaaaah, bashful Bison is so cute!!!!! "Take me out...nooooo...really?"

This boy desperately wants to be loved. My heart.

Style is a slutty menace and I love him!

I also love that they are establishing the attraction is there before the deal gets made.

Ah, I was wondering if Kant was a philosophical reference!

Does Jojo have a "First eating burgers" fetish? That's been two extreme closeups in one episode. Just sayin'.

"Crazy and bold" is pretty spot on for Style!

Oh don't try to complain Style, you know you want him.

Ok, the yellow & purple... Are these their real colors, or the ones hiding their real colors as they embark on their mission?

Another costuming note - both Kant & Style had sunglasses as part of their outfits when they started their lying... love that little detail.

Good lord, that many beers and I'd be peeing every two minutes.

Oh! Fadel figuring out they're friends already! What a twist!

This was so much fun!

[atmymercy]

&&& tell me something you are thankful for and why! thanksgiving is actually in october for canadians so i thought i would start off in what we are thankful for! woot!

hey honey! just thought i would introduce my new 'tea cozy time'! in honor of thanksgiving and @jkayyy222 for suggesting this sort of idea!

it's going to be a moment where i answer the question i posted for the giveaway so you can connect with me but also so we can connect together! unfortunately not everyone can win but we all deserve to have a moment to be grateful so i thought we could post these and you all could comment or reblog your answer if you would like to join in! participate as much or as little as you want!

tea cozy time is going to be about spreading love and positivity among us! it's about a moment of community and sharing! a place to manifest our thankfulness and gratitude towards this world we live in together! woot!

so let's start sharing!

oh gosh! where to start! i'm so thankful to my spirit guides. i honestly don't know where i would be without them. they taught me so much and every day they remind me of where i used to be. i used to be quite an angry, spiteful person inside. something i would hide away and be super ashamed of. but now i understand that anger is a part of me. it's part of my passion and fire in life! they helped me realize that when i got angry, it was not for nothing. i got angry because i was treated wrong or because i was never taught how to deal with my anger. i used to fear this fiery blaze in my chest but now i see it's here to help guide and strengthen me! so i was just want to thank my spirit guides for holding me as i cried through these struggles and helping me see the light at the end of the tunnel!

oooh! i feel better after saying that already! please feel free to comment/reblog to join in! let's spread some

love & light!

-tea

[divabandits-blog]

Woot Deals List from Diva Bandits, while supplies last! Posted 10-5-23

Woot Deals List from Diva Bandits, while supplies last! Posted 10-5-23

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[portsandstars]

Very spur of the moment predictions before RSS might drop more of these graphs :3

Thought process below!

Kuras: ok, I feel like kuras is the biggest heavy hitter stat wise. Given that he's literally an angel, my guess is that he is very very strong. He also is hundreds of years old and is experienced with healing and .. politics? Certainly knowledge about Eridia. That means that he gets high wisdom too. Moderate useless facts because I'm sure that he's picked up plenty of info during his years in the mortal realm, but he also doesn't care about a lot of things so it can't be higher. Self loathing to the max bc he either hates what he did to get him trapped on Earth, or hates that he got caught. Obviously things didn't go according to plan for him, so luck is moderate.

Vere: he's a bit harder bc he's chained, so that limits him. I debated putting his strength at a three, as he's pretty limited, but he's also a very impressive killer - possibly more so than a regular "human" killer- or else the Senobium wouldn't find him as useful. He's afraid of Kuras's true form, and so to me that says he's weaker. Despite all of his teasing and jokes, he knows a lot of things and has a good read on the world, so his wisdom should be pretty high imo. Useless facts are moderate because he has very narrow things that he enjoys learning about (sex, music, tea..). He loves himself but I also think bitterly rues the day that he was caught, so moderate self loathing. He strikes me as fairly lucky inherently- he just pushes things further and further because of his personality, which overwhelms his natural luck.

Ais: TBH I feel like vere and Ais are comparable strength, and Ais and Leander are comparable strength, so .. they all end up at 4?^^; as they're all weaker than Kuras but stronger than Mhin. For luck- it's honestly a gamble about whether Ais made a huge mistake and doomed his gang (unlucky) OR - Sacrificed them somehow, landed a deal with a God, and now has a lot of cult followers(more lucky). Wisdom- pretty low. Ais seems to have some intuition but seems more focused on fighting first and asking questions later. Self loathing is low-i feel like he's accepted himself and the choices he's made, though in the past he may have deeply regretted them. Facts- he finds it endearing when others tell him about facts, but doesn't care about them himself and even when others tell him, he enjoys how animated they get, rather than the actual facts.

Leander: without his magic, I'd place his strength at a three. But given that his magic allows him to withstand MC's curse (and make flowers !!woot) it brings his strength up to a four^^. I feel like he is SO LUCKY because 1) he was born into wealth and power, and got a good education 2) due to his scars and rebirth icons, may have survived death, which is prettty lucky if you ask me. Wisdom- he has a good sense of how people think and act, but not that much wisdom past that. Self loathing- I think Leander thinks he's hot shit LOL Useless facts - Leander strikes me as the type of person who's always remembering details other people tell him (and seeking out more info) so that he can form connections, get to know people and get more power. He's also formally educated and probably had rich people tutoring growing up. So, useless facts is pretty high!

[smilingformoney]

Three Secrets

Summary: Hans Gruber x reader | smut | You're a member of Hans Gruber's gang of thieves, and when you take the blame for another's betrayal, Hans grants your last request.

Or: you get fucked violently by Hans, and then you die.

I watched Die Hard, got horny, and this is the result.

Dedicated to @snowblossomreads, who so lovingly enables my thirst for this dead old man.

Warnings/content: smut, dubcon, gun kink, all your holes get penetrated (yes even that one)

Read on Ao3 or below the cut:

“Who warned die Polizei?!” Hans roared as he returned to the safehouse, panting and out of breath, his tie askew. When there was no answer from his fellow thieves, he roared in anger and smashed his fists on the table, causing the carefully-stacked Marks to collapse into piles and scatter across the floor.

“I WANT A NAME!”

The thieves began staring at each other suspiciously, agitated by the news of a betrayal and - although they’d never admit it - frightened of Hans’ anger.

With a sudden BANG!, Hans shot down the man nearest him. Probably not the rat, and certainly a good thief - but Hans was angry, and he wanted to punish someone.

You stood up immediately.

“It was me,” you lied.

It wasn’t you, of course it wasn’t. You would never betray your friends. But you also couldn’t sit there and watch Hans take his anger out on them.

The barrel of the gun met the underside of your chin, and you closed your eyes as you steeled yourself for the shot…

But it didn’t come. You dared to open your eyes, and you were met with Hans’ fiery gaze, his face dripping with sweat, a nasty snarl on his face.

“Tell me why I shouldn’t pull the trigger, Schlampe,” he growled.

You knew of a thousand reasons. You weren’t the rat; you were an asset to the team; you liked being alive. But Hans cared about none of those - all he wanted was to sate his anger.

“Do I get a last request?”

Hans’ eyes narrowed, then he chuckled darkly. “Perhaps,” he replied. “What is it?”

“Schlampe, you called me. I am no slut, Hans. No man here has touched me. No man has ever touched me.”

Hans laughed and turned to his men. “Do you hear that, boys? Die Schlampe wants to be fucked before she dies!”

The men laughed, far too many of them looking at you with hunger.

“I don’t want them!” you insisted as you stepped closer to Hans, the barrel of his gun digging deeper into your flesh. “I don’t even want to be fucked. What I want… is to suck your cock.”

As soon as the words left your lips, the men gathered went feral, cheering and whooping, shouting out words of encouragement to Hans. He, meanwhile, seemed merely amused.

After a pause, he grabbed you by the shoulder, spun you around, and marched you out of the room, gun pressed firmly against the small of your back. Wordlessly, he guided you through the house, leaving behind the wooting animals that called themselves men, and once he reached his bedroom, he pushed you inside and slammed the door shut behind him.

“Turn around slowly,” he said in a low, menacing voice, one that struck fear in most, but for you it only sent a rush of arousal through your body.

When finally you could see him again, Hans’ eyes were alight with danger, desire and anger. So long as that gun was trained on you, you knew any moment could be your last, even if your mouth was full of his cock - and, shit, you hoped it would be soon.

“So the little virgin wants to suck my cock, does she?”

He gestured at her body with his gun.

“Take those off. I don’t want any hidden tricks.”

Sure. That was why he wanted you to strip.

You pulled your t-shirt over your head, and Hans licked his lips when his gaze landed on your chest. Next you slipped off your shoes, then the rest of your clothing, leaving you in nothing but your bra and knickers.

Hans raised his eyebrows. “Did I tell you to stop?”

You had hoped to at least keep some of your dignity before your last meal, but this was Hans Gruber you were dealing with. He never did anything in halves.

You reached behind your back to unclasp your bra, letting it fall from your shoulders, then hooked your thumbs under your waistband to push your knickers to the floor.

And that was how you found yourself stark naked in Hans Gruber’s room, staring down the barrel of his gun, not daring to break eye contact with him, no matter how desperate you were to see if he was aroused.

“Show me your technique first, Schlampe. Open.”

You obeyed, and panic shot through your heart when the barrel of his gun - safety most definitely off - slid past your lips and threatened to choke you as it passed over your tongue and settled at the back of your mouth.

“Well?” Hans prompted. “I’m waiting.”

Of course he had a fucking gun kink.

You tried to ignore the metallic taste as you began to move your head back and forth, ever so slightly, trying not to get too close to the trigger. What a way to die this would be.

“Will you suck my cock with this little passion, Y/N? It is your last request, after all. You’re supposed to enjoy it.”

Bastard. Sadist. Psychopath.

You hadn’t been lying; you really hadn’t been with a man before. How were you supposed to show him your cocksucking technique on a gun when you had never even practised on the real thing?

You closed your eyes, hoping it would help you to pretend the barrel was a dick. You tightened your lips around it, telling yourself it was the most delicious thing you’d ever tasted, that it tasted like flesh and sweat, not metal and gunpowder…

You could hear Hans breathing heavily, alongside the sound of a belt unbuckling. You chanced a glimpse, and when you saw his other hand sliding under his waistband, you let you an involuntary moan.

He grinned, looking like a devil as he palmed himself under his boxers, finger far too close to the trigger of the loaded gun you were currently allowing him to fuck your mouth with. Because he was, he had taken over the movement, and while one hand rubbed up against his cock, the other pulled the gun from your mouth, only to send it back in violently, and you grunted with pain as the metal tip collided with the roof of your mouth.

“I could pull the trigger at any moment,” Hans said, speaking aloud the very fear that sat at the forefront of your mind. “You would die sucking my gun, wishing it was my cock, dead before you knew what was happening. How does that sound, Schlampe?”

Fuck. He was asking you a question, and still he was thrusting his gun into your mouth; you were sure he would leave a bruise.

Not that a bruised mouth would matter soon, once you were dead.

Hans suddenly pulled the gun from your mouth, switched on the safety and returned it to the holster on his hip. You gasped for air, glad to be free of the metallic taste and the imminent threat of your head exploding.

He placed his hand on your head and pushed down, forcing you to your knees as he pulled his cock from the confines of his boxers, and you couldn’t help but stare.

You always knew Hans had big dick energy. Now you knew he had the size to match.

“I will show you mercy,” he decided. “You’ll get my cock… and maybe I’ll blow your brains out with my cock down your throat.” He held his erect cock to your lips, and instinctively they parted to allow him in.

Fuck, he was big. Too big; you thought the gun might have been more comfortable. It may have been cold and metallic, and ready to blow your brains out at any moment, but at least you could breathe. As Hans pushed further past your lips and over your tongue, you felt the muscles in your jaw protesting as you stretched them out as far as they could go.

His tip hit the back of your throat and you gagged. If Hans noticed, he didn’t care. Tears began to fill your eyes, and through your watery vision you could see that he was hardly even halfway in.

Hans grabbed either side of your head with his hands and tilted your head upwards, forcing you to look at him.

“So full, and I’m hardly even in,” he growled. “Now, are you going to just stare at me, Schlampe, or are you going to suck. my. fucking. cock?”

You decided to go with the latter.

You tried to pull your head back slightly, but Hans’ large, strong hand on the back of your head kept you in place.

What were you supposed to do? He wanted you to suck, but he clearly didn’t want you to move back. That only left forward, but you rather enjoyed breathing.

Ah, but you had another option - your tongue. At the moment, it was flattened uselessly under his cock, but perhaps you could - yes! You managed to loosen it slightly, just enough to allow it to slide along his shaft. You hadn’t realised before how veiny cocks were, but you certainly knew now as you traced a line along one that ran from the head, down the underside, and past your lips. Curious, you raised a hand to the rest of him and gently ran your thumb from your lip, tracing the vein all the way to the base, where it was lost in amongst his pubic hair, which was surprisingly coarse, much coarser than your own.

Somewhere above you, Hans hummed with satisfaction, and you hoped you were doing well. If you weren’t, you supposed you would know by the prod of a gun in your temple.

You stuck your tongue out as far as you could past your lips, then retracted it. You followed the movements of your own tongue with your lips, and you were relieved when Hans allowed you to do so, his hand on your head loosening its grip slightly as he allowed you to pull back until you felt his lip threatening to pass your lips. You were just about to go back in when Hans decided to take control of the situation - as if he weren’t in control already - and, twisting your hair in his hand tightly, he tugged your head back towards him. The movement was so sudden, so violent, that your gag reflex had no time to kick in, and this time you found your nose buried in his hairs, his thick cock gliding down your lubricated throat.

Before you had chance to adjust to your new position, Hans began to violently fuck your mouth - or, more accurately, he fucked himself with your mouth, as his hips were perfectly still, whilst his fist in your hair tossed your head back and forth, leaving you in a whirlwind of pain as he tugged on your scalp, choked you with his cock, and stretched your jaw beyond what you’d ever expected possible.

Your eyes flicked up, and through your streaming tears you could see him, staring down at you with a hungry snarl. Sweat began to drip down from your temple – whether from exhaustion or fear, you were unsure. You were terrified, you were in agony, you were suffocating… and you were undeniably turned on.

“Mhm… a perfect mouth for fucking,” Hans growled as he wiped a tear from your cheek before bringing it to his mouth and sucking it off his thumb as if it was the nectar of the gods. “Such a shame to waste it.”

Naively, a hope rose in your heart - perhaps, if you were good enough for him, he would spare your life after all, punish you by making you into his personal cockslave. It wasn’t exactly the life you craved, but it was life.

Suddenly, your lungs filled with air as you instinctively inhaled deeply, your body reacting before your mind had even the chance to process what had happened - his sudden withdrawal from your mouth, leaving you a simpering, drooling, gasping mess.

His hand still in your hair, Hans tugged you to your feet. You winced in pain, although you were glad to be breathing freely again.

Your heels had hardly touched the carpeted floor, however, when Hans threw you violently back. The pain in your scalp was replaced by pain in your calves as they collided with the bedframe just moments before your back hit the mattress, and you let out an oof as the air was forced from your lungs.

You gasped desperately, and once you were finally in a state to look up, you saw that Hans had removed his jacket and tie, and was in the process of removing his shoes. Even in his carnal state, he took the time to neatly fold his clothes. This gave you the chance to recover, however briefly, and you adjusted yourself on the bed, finding a more comfortable position with your head against the pillows.

You’d seen Hans’ body before - just last summer, a particularly lucrative job had allowed the gang enough funds to holiday in the south of France, and it was there, seeing Hans in nothing but a pair of swimming trunks, that you had developed an attraction to the man.

You had even seen his arse once, after a drinking game dare from Karl resulted in Hans mooning ein Polizist from a moving car.

And, of course, you had seen his cock just now. But you’d never before seen him completely naked – until now.

He crawled over you like a panther on a hunt, and you fully expected him to continue until his throbbing cock slid into your mouth so that he could fuck your head into the pillow.

Instead, he stopped as his hungry grin reached level with your own lips, and he ran his tongue along them testingly. You parted your lips obligingly, and he chuckled.

“Two years you’ve been with us now, Y/N,” he mused. “Two years that perfectly fuckable mouth has been in front of me and I did nothing. It’s only now, after you seal your fate, that your true talents are revealed. Pity.”

You were tempted to offer your mouth to him, to offer him every hole to be taken whenever he liked, so long as he kept you alive. But that would be begging, and Hans abhorred beggars. No, he had to come to the idea himself.

“How many other secrets are you keeping from me, Schlampe?” Hans growled. He shifted his weight back slightly and for the first time you realised he held his tie in his hand. He grabbed your wrists, crossed them over one another above your head, and used the tie to secure them to the headboard. Once satisfied with the tight knot, he began to run his hands down your body, starting from your face and down your neck towards your chest, as if challenging himself to touch every inch of your flesh before it turned cold.

He took your nipples between his fingers and twisted them harshly, eliciting a loud yelp from your throat.

“I asked you a question,” Hans said plainly. “How many secrets do you still keep?”

Was he seriously interrogating you right now? Was that what this whole thing was, just a way to torture information from you?

Information you didn’t have, because you weren’t the rat.

You had to draw his attention away, to remind him what a waste your death would be.

“Two,” you gasped as an idea struck your brain. “I have two more secrets.”

“Only two?”

You nodded, trying to suppress a whine as his fingers squeezed on your nipples again.

He surveyed you for a long moment, his amber eyes staring into yours, as if hoping he might find some hidden information in there.

“It would be a shame if your secrets died with you,” he growled. He sat up fully now, and his cock came back into view, still erect, throbbing and glistening in the light with a mixture of precum and your spit.

He let out a sigh of relief as he stroked himself, his eyes never leaving your squirming form beneath him. With his spare hand, he pushed open your legs, tugging on your hips to bring them close to him. You took the hint and wrapped your legs around his waist, presenting your soaking wet cunt to him.

“Will you tell me your secrets before you die, Y/N?”

“Yes,” you replied immediately, understanding his meaning.

“Good. I would hate to take the from you by force.”

You felt his cockhead pushing against your lower lips, then past them, then – it slipped inside, aided by your gushing juices.

Hans gave you no time to adjust. If he remembered you were a virgin, he didn’t care as he sheathed himself inside you, cock crawling up your tight walls, forcing them to stretch open for him.

You bit down on your bottom lip hard, trying to ignore the pain as he finally bottomed out. He barely gave your walls a chance to adjust to his size when he withdrew again, only to thrust forward again. He was nothing short of stabbing you with his cock, venting his anger at your apparent betrayal.

His thrusts picked up pace, and soon enough the pain had subsided, leaving only the pleasure.

And oh, what pleasure. Was this what you had been missing out on for so long? You had never dared make a move on Hans, never dared risk his anger if your proposal angered him. You wished you had made a move, that you had spent the better part of the last two years getting railed.

What a wish to make on your deathbed.

If you weren’t already busy moaning with pleasure, you might have laughed.

This was your deathbed, quite literally – and you were getting fucked into it like there was no tomorrow, because for you, there wasn’t.

Hans not only had a massive cock, but he had incredible stamina too. He pulled out, and you weren’t ashamed of the whine that left your throat when he did so, leaving you feeling suddenly empty. His cock was throbbing, almost twitching, and leaking so much precum it seemed as if he might cum just from a change in the wind.

He wouldn’t, though. Of course not. He was Hans Gruber, and he came only when he chose.

He made no clever pun about secrets now. He just took your hips in his large hands and turned you over, ignoring your grunt of pain as your wrists rubbed against your bonds.

He also ignored the veritable scream of pain you let out when he stretched open your arsecheeks and pushed inside your final hole, the last secret you hadn’t known you were keeping from him.

You sobbed into the pillow. You couldn’t help it. Although painful at first, his cock felt good in your cunt, the stretch painful but pleasurable too. This, however, was nothing but pain.

Any hopes you might have had of your own orgasm were now dashed. You felt nothing but pain as Hans stabbed into you again and again, and over your own sobs you heard him, growling and muttering something to himself under his breath.

“Dumme verdammte Schlampe,” you heard. “I’ll teach you - oh, I will fucking show you - you don’t - keep - secrets - from - me!”

He stilled suddenly, hilted deep inside your arse, and Hans let out nothing short of a roar.

Your head was dizzy, the world spinning, and you continued sobbing into the pillow as Hans finally withdrew. You couldn’t move, you just lay there on your front, covered in sweat, tears, and - although you couldn’t see to be sure - blood and cum leaking from both your holes. Even so, you missed Hans’ warmth when he moved away from the bed.

After a minute, water began to run from the bathroom. Five more minutes, and the water stopped. Some movement and shuffling of fabric. Still, you didn’t move, too stiff with pain.

You certainly didn’t move when you heard the cocking of a gun, and you felt the barrel pushing against the base of your skull.

“Any more secrets?”

Your hopes were dashed. He wasn’t going to spare you after all. No, he had just fucked you raw, and now he wanted what he had always wanted - the truth. To him, you were a rat, not to be trusted and certainly not to be spared.

The truth, you knew, would get you nowhere.

So you lied.

“Nein,” you mumbled, face still smushed against the pillow. You daren’t move.

Somewhere above you, Hans sighed.

“A shame,” he muttered.

It really was a shame. Those were nice bedsheets, ruined now with her blood…

…and her brains.