#Wood Stories
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They don’t even attempt to assassinate US politicians anymore. You notice that? Not since the anthrax scare back for… who was it, Barack? And even that… pathetic. This new generation has no respect for an honest hitman. I’m not sure this new generation has any honest hitman - you see that shit with Boeing? Sloppy, fucking disgraceful - you kill the whistleblowers before they get halfway to a lawsuit. What kind of fucking amateur is doing faked suicides the night before testimony? Goddamn greenhorns. Back in my day someone tried to shoot Ronald Reagan in broad daylight. There used to be bomb threats to Congress. I took out a few union leaders in the utilities sector myself. Today’s generation? Won’t even threaten to throw a punch - not even over on that - what’s it now, ‘X’? They got no guts. None! And they don’t even have poor impulse control to boot! Too much of that - that panopticon anxiety bullshit. “Oh what if I get a called out post???” People used to send the president letters full of bioweapons. In the mail! Today’s generation? Not a chance. All because of woke.
#ra speaks#personal#JOKING.#this is a joke this is a parody of right wing rants regarding social phenomenon they believe to be oppressed by left leaning politics.#but within the perspective of an old fictional hitman.#this is a joke tangentially referencing my fictional hitmen from a fictional story in which no harm comes to career politicians#obviously but also if this gets me on a list o7#fbi agent in my phone I’m a disabled autistic dyke with zero engineering or chemistry background#my skills are best applied to…idk sabatoging national forest harvest regimes? but I’m not doing that they’re neglected enough as is.#edit: oops this is getting notes o/ hiiiii cia agent reading this post <3 a union leader my dad worked w got fucking assassinated#by Pinkertons and y’all didn’t do shit. I hope you have visions of hell and become a nomadic hermit self flagellating in the woods#edit 2: ooooooh there was a pres debate last night. that’s why people care about my two week old joke hitman post. was wondering why.
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i'm a sucker for narrators who are like,,, part of the narrative. they're a part of the story. they may or may not be fundemantal to it, but they influence it one way or another.
#lemony snicket#asoue#a series of unfortunate events#hadestown#hadestown musical#hermes hadestown#into the woods#into the woods broadway#into the woods musical#into the woods narrator#not like#first person narrators#like#someone who has established that they are a narrator#their purpose is to narrate that particualr story#and as we move along#we can see that they have a part to play#to progress the story#whether they influenced the earlier parts of the story they tell#and the characters have to deal with the consequences#or they got dragged into it by the characters#or they are part of it#but the characters don't know#that their story is being told by said narrator#or maybe they do
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Sir Sebastian Bastard fucked up spotify
#i love how he names his rats#paper boy doing his little duties again#will wood#will wood ig story#wee woo
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isaac
#art#sketch#comic#religion#christianity#our sermon last week was about the story of isaac#and i found it disconcerting how enthusiastically they praised abraham's resolve to give up his son#and i can't fault him. god told him to#but sometimes i wonder how isaac felt#handing him the wood to burn at his altar#wolfy religious tedtalks#anyways i swear my other pride month drawings will be more cheerful HAHA
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Reblog for larger sample size
#musicals#musical theatre#theater kid#broadway#tumblr polls#come from away#six the musical#les mis#hadestown#lightning thief musical#epic the musical#ride the cyclone#dear evan hansen#be more chill#beetlejuice musical#legally blonde musical#shrek the musical#newsies#hamilton musical#starkid#west side story#phantom of the opera#wicked the musical#chicago musical#sweeney todd#heathers the musical#bad cinderella#into the woods#& juliet#the color purple
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Robert Wood Lynn, How to Maintain Eye Contact
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*slaps this weird band au instrument and heights thing i forgot to post in like july down on the table and walks away*
#creepypasta#creepypasta band au#ticci toby#ticci toby fanart#jeff the killer#creepypasta art#creepypasta fandom#creepypasta fanart#kk03art#artwork#creepypasta story#tobias rogers#eyeless jack#liu woods#homicidal liu#kk03creepypasta#artists on tumblr#character art#art#digital art
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first 2 are based off my twt drafts beacause iam. unwell. and the other 2 are based off the gays from nj snl sketches again. im Not Well
#saw#saw franchise#mark hoffman#peter strahm#lindsey perez#hoffstrahm#coffinshipping#my art#fanart#slenderman line is also based on a true story i was driving at 6am that motherfucker was in the woods i swearrrr
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My Lawyer is going to Get Your Ass.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jin guangyao#jiang cheng#nie huaisang#wei wuxian#lan wangji#elle woods#That's right. All this time I was building up towards this punchline.#The pink legal eagle Elle Woods is canonical to the PD-MDZS universe. This will make no sense if you are new around here.#The phone lwj pulls out of his bag of holding has one function. And it's to call Elle Woods. An omniscient and legendary cultivator.#The mandarin is very messy but probably self explanatory. I can only hope it is legible...#Referencing Danganrompa (Sore wa chigau yo!) and Ace Attorney was not on my bingo card for things I would end up doing-#-but it has happened and I am rolling with it. Even if it means a lot is going on in this comic!#the core joke here is that wwx finds himself in a impromptu court and gets a lawyer involved.#A lawyer AU fits these characters so well I am once again blinking long and slow at everyone who’s made an AU for it#Not a single whisper of story analysis in these tags today. It's pure whimsy on the menu.#I am placing a little treat outside of your door. It's a cold world out there and there is so little whimsy to be found.
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He's extra handsome today
#creepypasta#jeff the killer#creepy pasta#jtk#jeffery woods#jeffthekiller#cottagedragon#rememeber when i said i was gonna post lore and story stuff for him?#hahaaaa...
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me, smiling in public: 😁😄😆😃😄😀🙂😊😚🥰😝😜🤪😋😛😁
the music on my headphones: I WANNA MAKE MY MURDER LOOK LIKE A SUICUDE (KILL ME. KILL ME)
#devilish rambles#will wood#based on a true story#i smile when the music is good#even if in public#the people have got to see my smile godammnit
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Something's OFF About These Indie Games
Indie Games in order:
Undertale
Yume Nikki
Oneshot
Night In The Woods
Celeste
Hollow Knight
Omori
Cave Story
Rainworld
Crypt Of The Necrodancer
#pixel art#undertale#yume nikki#night in the woods#oneshot#celeste#hollow knight#omori#cave story#crypt of the necrodancer#rainworld#off
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New stories!!
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Mmm rat soup
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Absolutely losing my mind over Scar’s stream today
He was already talking to Etho while catching ocelots
Joel logs in and Scar immediately asks if Etho wants to go visit him
We get so many Etho lore crumbs (although he doesn’t fully confirm anything except having stubble and trying to get rid of 2 extra house generators)
They hang out for like 2 hours doing nothing hut chatting
Eventually Scar leaves but forgot that he left his ocelots at Etho’s because he was so excited about boat boys that he never brought them home
#ethoslab#goodtimeswithscar#smallishbeans#boat boys#hermitcraft#there was so much more as well and I already want to rewatch the streams bc ads kept trying to interrupt the lore#both joel and gem told etho they wanted a generator and he told them they had to pick it up but couldn’t tell them where#he also might live in the middle of nowhere off the grid and has to chop wood for electricity#he also may or may not have a phone but hinted at probably not#but somehow managed to get fast internet#to be clear none of what he said surprised me one bit#he also retold the same story of his voice being recognized so is that still the only time#i find it hard to believe but also he is probably the closest to an actual hermit irl of anyone on the server
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this would work much better with a third naissancee-ultrakill axis but that's beyond my graphing capabilities
#earthbound#cave story#journey#furi#ultrakill#undertale#noita#naissancee#oxenfree#limbo#antichamber#celeste#firewatch#disco elysium#kentucky route zero#outer wilds#hollow knight#hyper light drifter#the stanley parable#lisa the painful#ori and the blind forest#baba is you#night in the woods#what remains of edith finch#return of the obra dinn#getting over it with bennet foddy#the binding of isaac#zoo wee mama thats a lotta tags#im tellin ya
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