#Wolfwood: oh I'm gonna get him.

[peacebringing]

The man ashes his cigarette and takes one long drag before tossing it aside, not giving an absolute damn where it would land. Look around: this entire shit show of a planet was an ashtray in case no one’s noticed!!

“Blondie,” he speaks softly, leftover smoke departing his lips as he pulls the stampede closer by the arm. Their lips were mere seconds away from being flesh on flesh, as breath meets breath. The setting was right, the mood: perfect.

Too perfect. “… Tch.” A quick, simple sound, just enough to break the wolf’s character, adding a glass shattering indifference all the same. A snicker lead to a cackle, showing no remorse to Vash’s priceless expression as this went on.

“Yeah, right. You wish, don’tcha?” Wolfwood snickered, a flirtatious wink to follow.

“Huwhah?”

Vash was recognized for a number of traits, none with a flattering lilt... a lack of grace was noted among the several, willowy legs knotting themselves in attempts to slow his own pacing... only for it to be slowed for him, in the form of a hand gripping his arm. Vash wasn't the strongest, nor the most frail, but how could one not note Nicholas D. Wolfwood's own strength? Such a confrontation was natural, having had it thrust upon him in semi-coherent oh's, and of course he is, and ow, actually. Wasn't the first time Wolfwood used action to get his point across, wouldn't be the last, but this wasn't a reprimand, a lesson taught, it was...

A thin string of smoke, breathed against his own lips. Close. Why - why this level of closeness? Was Vash's eyes fluttering due to the pungent scent of nicotine, the ow factor, or was it in competition with the flit-flit-flit of his heart? When had he last fully blinked, when had he last took a breath? -- didn't need to, but the sting of his lungs stated otherwise. Underneath a fog of smoke: a plume of oak, the sting of alcohol from hours prior. Vash had caught the scent once, detailed it in his thoughts, forgot he had: now, it had the lingering effect of familiarity. Was it normal for his thoughts to swim in such spirals?

Vash was no stranger to drunkenness, but this was of a separate category.

“Wolfwood.”

Not an inquiry: no matter the reasoning, the sensation this moment, this fleeting passage of time, held was stitched into his memory. The shadow of bags beneath his moonlight gaze, the crinkle in the corner of his eye - the chapped piece of skin on his bottom lip, the single breath Vash couldn't see, but felt. The glossy finish, a telltale of nervous biting—

... You wish, don't'cha?

Huh?

Breath punched out of his chest, Vash, veil ripped from atop his head, could at last steel his hazy eyes. A minute cock of the head, a shagging posture, his arm falling lip betwixt the pair of them...

“I wish for... what?” blink-blink-blink, glossy blown pupils and a scrunched, contemplative look. “I wish you'd give my arm back but that's about it, I think...”

What was that, actually? What had that been?

“Wait, why are you laughing—”

[orcelito]

so yea i finished watching tristamp. absolutely bewitched by the animation. but also wanting MORE... and so . i am planning on watching the original anime. at some point soon.

sometimes joining the bandwagon of what's currently popular is fun if it coincides with my preexisting interests lol

[possiblyreallyme]

Kinktober day 15: against a wall with Wolfwood

warning: p in v, against a wall, public sex? idk its in an empty alley, slight vashwood ngl, not proofread.

Kinktober Masterlist

Harsh thrusts sent body quaking with the impact, like an active earthquake sending tremors up your spine and caused your pussy to clamp tighter around Wolfwood's cock, lean hips jackhammering you in place against the wall.

"Fuck, you take this cock so well, angel," He groans, keeping you up effortlessly with his hand on your thigh, the other behind your head in a sweet attempt to made that you don't go hitting your pretty head on the brick.

His hips pause and you see stars, grinding his pelvis into yours for a second to stimulate your painfully neglected clit and smother your jaw with wet kisses, the tip of his cock pressing against your cervix in an almost painful shock of pure pleasure. "Aren't you just so sweet, honey, lettin' me fuck you in an alley. You just knew I couldn't wait any longer, didn't you?" He mocked in a sickeningly sweet tone, voice rough and teasing with that smug grin against your jawbone, but you couldn't care less when you felt him already beginning to swell inside of you.

"Yeah, I know," He murmured in response to your whine, keeping you cradled in his arms as he started to fuck into you again. As much as he wanted to keep you shaking and begging for more, he knew the chances of getting caught only grew bigger as time passed, and the last thing he wanted was to watch you pull at your panties because he had to cut your session short.

"Don't worry, honey, I got ya, you can do it," Oh, he loved how the squelching of your cunt echoed in the alley, harmonizing perfectly with the sound of his hips against your and your pretty moans. "Hold on tight, angel, I'm gonna go faster, 'kay?"

He hoisted you up higher on the wall before you could even process his drawl, sighing blissfully as his eyes rolled back when you squealed and clamped around him, practically bullying your drooling pussy with his harsh thrusts and the way he used your body as leverage.

"Fuck, angel, d'you see the way Vash was lookin' at ya?" So that's why he pulled you away from the group so suddenly. But with rose tinted cheeks and a slight grin on his face, you know he was anything but mad at his how "friend" had been ogling you in the morning sun.

"What's he think he's doin'? Eyein' up my bride like that. He's sure got a pair, doesn't he- argh, honey?" No matter how long you've been married, the way he called you his bride made your cheeks hot, and he sure got a kick out of the way you had to explain to bartenders and waitresses that you were, in fact, not a newlywed couple who needed some free drinks or anything. He was just a hopeless romantic, with a pretty young wife to brag about.

He was just so handsome, black bangs sticking to his forehead and sweat dripping down his neck, tan muscles looking tense in an effort not to let his knees buckle when you fluttered tighter. Ugh, his cock hurt- why'd you have to be so pretty?

"Hmph- okay, angel, c'mon." He had reached his limit, biting your neck in an effort not to cum prematurely. "Cum on my cock, little lady, we gotta get back to the others- Fuck!"

"Oh! Oh- c-cummin'! Fuck, honey, 'm cummin-!" He cried, almost losing his grip on you all together when his foot slipped in the dirt and you came on his cock with such a pretty sigh, but he found his balance just you felt that familiar hot wave crash into your womb.

He always came so much, today being no exception as it dripped out of you and splatted to the ground while he babbled, eyes closed and shaking his head dumbly with an almost fucked-out look on his face.

"D-Damn it! You're too tight, honey! Ohhh! Cummin' on my cock- so pretty- ahhh!" His words always did get choppy when he came, like he felt like he had to talk you threw it, even when he couldn't think a single thought besides how good your soft cunt felt around his throbbing cock.

Only when you felt his grip on your thigh and the back of your head loosen did the hot seed finally stop shooting into your pussy, though it still dripped between his shoes slowly to leave his mark. "Huh... Huh... Huh..." He panted hot breath down your neck, slumping weakly against your body, his firm chest pressed against your soft tits so sweetly you could ignore the layer of sweat.

"You did so good— you always do," He praised softly, pressing a kiss to your cheek as he rubbed the back of your head lightly, not caring how his knuckles stung from how they grinded against the brick behind you. "Pretty bride, I love you."

[anyasathenaeum]

"There's Only One Bed" Trope

Pairings: Vash x reader, Wolfwood x reader (separately)

A/N: Please be nice, this is the first time I'm writing for Trigun. I have no idea what I'm doing but here, have this I guess?? Feedback is welcome, just be nice please .-.

Vash The Stampede

"I'm gonna kill him."

You and Vash both arrived outside the door to the same room at the same time, each of you looking at the other, confused. Only to find out Wolfwood had told each of you separately that you had this room to yourselves. He had been planning this all along.

'That sneaky bastard,' You thought to yourself, feeling a tinge of irritation at being set up.

"H-Hey! Please don't, I'm sure it was an honest mistake!" Vash chimed in, a nervous laugh escaping him as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Relax, Stampede, I'm not gonna kill Wolfwood. I might hurt him, though. He set us up," You grumbled, fiddling with the key to your room and just about tearing the door off its hinges as you entered.

"I can take the floor as long as you give me a pillow," You muttered tiredly over your shoulder to Vash, fighting to keep the heat from rising to your face.

You hated to admit it, but sharing a bed with the Humanoid Typhoon actually didn't sound too bad. Vash had been nothing but kind to you in all your time travelling with him, and you couldn't help it - the guy was pretty damn loveable when you got to know him.

"Oh, no! It's okay, I can take the floor, honestly, I don't mind! You can have the bed, (Y/N), you look pretty tired and I'm sure you could use the rest."

Vash's tone was kind, and when you looked over at him, he was just smiling at you warmly. You quickly looked away, praying Vash wouldn't notice, before humming to yourself for a moment in contemplation.

"Well, that's no good either. I don't know about you, Vash, but I'm fine if we share a bed. If you're not comfortable, though, that's okay, too. We'll figure something out," You offer, not looking at him as you feel the warmth creeping up in your face again. The things this man did to you.

"You sure, (Y/N)? I don't mind the floor, honest!" Vash asked, clearly not wanting to make you uncomfortable.

"You're not sleeping on the floor, Vash. You need rest just as much as I do. Come on, we'll just share, okay?" You stated, making a decision for the both of you.

"O-Okay!"

The word that slipped from Vash's lips came out a bit strangled, causing you to look over at him, only to see that his face had become as bright red as his coat.

Stifling a laugh, you called out teasingly, "You okay there, Vash? You're blushing pretty hard. Cat got your tongue?"

Vash just gave a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of his head with his prosthetic hand, "I-I just haven't shared a bed with another person in a really, really long time."

You laughed softly under your breath, before walking over the the bed and turning down the covers, getting the bed ready for you two to sleep in.

"Don't worry, Vash. I promise I don't kick or bite in my sleep. Or, at least, I don't think I do."

"You're a cuddly sleeper."

You froze at those words, turning to look at him with wide eyes, "What?"

Vash let out another nervous laugh, "You become cuddly in your sleep. I only know that because one night you fell asleep next to me and you latched onto me and didn't let go until shortly before you woke up."

You felt heat rush to your face as you spluttered, "W-What?! You never told me I did that! Oh, my God, I'm sorry, Vash, I didn't know I did that, that's so embarrassing, I-"

"Don't apologize," Vash cut you off, a genuine, soft smile on his face and a dusting of pink appearing on his cheeks and the tips of his ears, "You were really cute. It felt nice to have you holding onto me."

"B-But what if that happens again tonight?" You retorted, slightly mortified by this new revelation.

Vash simply smiles bigger, his blush darkening, "You won't hear a complaint from me."

You were going to buy Wolfwood some new cigarettes in the morning in thanks.

Nicholas D. Wolfwood

"Well, well, well. Whatcha doing on my bed, sweetheart?"

You sat up so fast you almost threw your back out at the sound of Wolfwood's voice, your gaze coming to rest on the man who was now leaning against the wall, cigarette between his smirking lips.

"Your bed? No, no, you're mistaken, this is my bed, Wolfwood. Meryl told me so herself earlier," You retorted, scowling at him as chuckled and stepped closer to the bed where you were sitting.

"Yeah? Well, little lady told me this was my room," Wolfwood replied cooly, his gaze resting on you as he chuckled again, showing you the same key as the one you had, "Guess she's played us both."

"Well, I got here first, so get out, Wolfwood," You hissed as you glared at him, annoyed at how relaxed and unbothered he seemed. He just always knew how to get under your skin.

"Yikes, don't you know God frowns on those unwilling to share, (Y/N)?"

The smirk on Wolfwood's face made you either want to hit him or kiss him, or possibly both, in that order.

"Oh, shut it, Wolfwood. You're not even that good a priest, so you don't get to pull that crap on me."

You stood up, getting closer to him, your hands crossed over your chest as you gazed at him, trying to be as cool and collected as he was, "So, what do we do?"

Wolfwood's eyebrows raised, an expression crossing his face that you couldn't pin for a split second before he smirked again, "We could always share, ya know."

"You. Share a bed. With me?" You reiterate slowly, your eyes narrowing as you looked at him, "Why on Earth would you do that? I mean, it's pretty obvious you can't stand me, so why would you offer to share a bed with me?"

Now an expression you'd never seen before on him but certainly recognized flashed across Wolfwoods face - surprise.

"You think I can't stand you?"

You shrugged your shoulders, trying to be nonchalant about it, "Well, yeah. You're always trying to make me mad or get a reaction out of me, you insult me, you condescendingly call me "sweetheart", the list goes on. I can't really see how that points to anything but you disliking me, Wolfwood."

"Nicholas."

You blinked. "What?"

"Nicholas. My name. Call me by my name."

Wolfwood's voice was gruff, his eyes watching you carefully as he spoke. He could see your eyes widening in surprise and confusion, to which he took the opportunity to step forward until he was just a little too close to you, getting up into your personal space.

"And listen, sweetheart, I don't dislike you. It's just fun seeing you squirm and get riled up - you're cute when you're angry."

Before you could even begin to process what Wolfwood had just said, he brushed past you, sitting down on the bed and patting the spot next to him with a smirk, his tone gently teasing.

"Come on, sweetheart. Lemme show you just how much I like you."

[bendycxmet]

Pent-Up—Nicholas D. Wolfwood

Summary: Wolfwood has been waiting for you all day. Plus, he's horny.

Pairing: gn!reader x Wolfwood

Content: smut (18+ MDNI), oral (reader receiving), maybe a lil nasty if you count not showering immediately when you get home, dry humping, desperation, wolfwood is horny and a lil dirty pervert, i tried to make this as gender neutral as possible

with a heavy sigh, you shoulder your way into your and Wolfwood's apartment. the door shuts noisily behind you as you collapse your whole weight against it, alerting your boyfriend to your late arrival from work. wherever he is.

you groan, upset he's nowhere to be seen. you really needed a hug from him. immediately.

you throw your bag onto the ground, relieving yourself of some of the heavy burden that's been on your shoulders since leaving your workplace. toeing off your shoes, you make your way into the kitchen to look for a much needed snack.

"wolfwood??" no response.

"wolfie~?" you start to tease, knowing he despises but secretly loves your nicknames for him.

"...woowoo?" you try one last time. that's definitely gonna get him to you.

closing the fridge, you peek around to the hallway, finally noting the doors are all closed. is he not home?

you're quickly proven wrong, the door to your shared bedroom flying open, steam flowing to the ceiling from the bathroom off to the side. Wolfwood stands in the doorway, a surprised look on his face.

"wolfwood! i knew that last one would get you. sorry i got home so late. busy day yanno. did you just take a shower? a bit late isn't it?" you remark to him, turning your eyes back to the kitchen, navigating your snack options.

"how-" he clears his throat. "how was your day darling?" he breathily asks.

you look towards him, eyebrow raised. you take in his appearance, from his heaving chest, to his hand gripping the doorframe, and finally to his boxers. he's only in his boxers, a tent evident in the front.

"uh, it's not that important. it's whatever. are you ok?"

he growls at you, taking steps towards where you stand in the kitchen, grabbing at your hands.

"I've been alone all day, missing my sweetheart, and the first conversation we have, they won't even tell me about their day? the day that's kept them so busy... away from me?"

you gulp at the gravelly tone he's speaking with.

"Wolfie... what's gotten into you?"

"oh honey, a guy has needs. and today, i was feeling a little... abandoned. with my issue down there." he moves your hand to cup him, gasping when you feel how hard he is. he's been pent up for hours.

he moans, squeezing his eyes as he pushes your hand away. "I've missed you too much." he sinks to his knees, hands wrapping around your hips to keep you in place.

"wolf-" your knees buckle slightly when he noses your crotch. "wolfwood! wait! i haven't had the chance to shower! I'm all sweaty and gross." you whine.

his chuckle vibrates into your pelvis.

"when I asked you about your day, i want to know about all of it." you shudder at his implications, hand shooting out to grip the counter as he grabs your bottoms, pushing down both your underwear and pants.

your other hand knots itself into his dark waves when you feel his hot breath hit you. a deep groan rumbles through him.

"yeah you better hold on tight baby. I've been waiting for this all day. not even a hot shower could clear my head of you."

with that, he dives in, desperately sucking in a mouthful of you. you cry out, your fingers tightening in his hair. he puts his tongue to work, licking you vigorously.

you pry your eyes open, haze settling over you as pleasure courses through every nerve ending. you wanted to see what was down below you, rarely seeing wolfwood on his knees for you.

maybe you could die happy in that moment, knowing wolfwood would always worship you like this.

a long lick up your most intimate area causes you to hiss, your body stepping backwards to get away from the overwhelming sensation. wolfwood doesn't like that.

he pulls away, an angry downturn in his eyebrows. he wraps his large hands further around you waist and pushes you against the fridge. now there was no space left for you to shy away from his affections. his hand snaps against your backside, causing you to yelp.

"stay." he demands, a finality layering his command.

wolfwood returns to you with newfound determination. perhaps as punishment for keeping him waiting so long today. his hands comes backto your backside, squeezing, humming his appreciation of the nectar that flows from between your legs. you whimper, feeling your lower stomach beginning to burn, signaling the end. he brings his hips closer to your leg. you feel the wetness of his pants, the twitching of his cock. so he was getting off to this. what a pervert.

you give him some relief, pushing your leg harshly against his cock. he moans his thanks into you, hips moving against you.

"baby, i won't last much longer," you manage to get out between stuttering breaths, his tongue making it hard to concentrate on the sentences formulating in your head.

he hums, knowing exactly what'll get you to your peak. his hands move to play with you, stroking you gently, the opposite of how his tongue was treating you. your hips begin to buck, breath hitching as the coil in your stomach tightens.

"wolfwood-!"

his lips suddenly reach your most sensitive spot, lips wrapping and sucking harshly around the area. you moan loudly into the kitchen, body rigid as your orgasm courses through you. the fog in your brain clears just enough for you to catch the hitch in wolfwoods panting, hips pressing roughly into your leg. your knees shake, threatening to take you to the ground.

wolfwood of course would never let that happen. he grabs you, pulling you down to his level, letting you catch your breath against his shoulder. he pets your hair, kissing the side of your face.

"so rough day huh?"

"you have no idea." you reach your hand down to graze your fingers against the incredibly wet spot on his boxers. "looks like I wasnt the only one having it rough."

he laughs roughly, pulling you up until you're standing.

"let's just call it a tie. shower?"

"never without you~" you peck his cheek, pulling him towards the bathroom.

masterlist

divider by saradika

a/n: look i just remembered someone talking about their fav eating them out pre shower and I immediately thought of wolfwood. that man can get down and dirty. also this is written so late at night for me so forgive me for any errors. i need to go to bed

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

For Good (Wicked)

It well may be/That we will never meet again/In this lifetime/So let me say before we part/So much of me Is made of what I learned from you/You'll be with me/Like a handprint on my heart

"I'm graduating high school in a few weeks and this is really sums up how it feels to be leaving the theatre department. these people have changed me for good"

Sunlight (Hozier)

All the tales the same/Told before and told again/A soul that's born in cold and rain/Knows sunlight, sunlight, sunlight/And at last can grant a name/To a buried and a burning flame/As love and its decisive pain/Oh, my sunlight, sunlight, sunlight

But whose heart would not take flight/Betray the moon as acolyte/On first and fierce affirming sight of/Sunlight, sunlight, sunlight/I had been lost to you, sunlight/And flew like a moth to you, sunlight, oh, sunlight/Oh, your love is sunlight

"I come down with the shivers and start hyperventilating when i hear this song and it makes me want to go outside which is the scariest part"

"I'm not gonna go full infodump here but this song is Peak Vash and Nicholas D. Wolfwood from Trigun-- specifically Nick's feelings towards Vash. Vash's (literal) evil twin brother Knives hired (read: threatened to eradicate the orphanage he kidnapped Nick from as a child if he didn't do what he was told) Nick to act as bodyguard for Vash and guide him to where Knives wants him to go so he can manipulate him for his own gain. Like, he chose the name Knives. This bitch is crazy beyond crazy but this ain't about him. Nick starts out 100% willing to guide Vash like a lamb to slaughter because he HAS to for the orphanage, and this is just some random guy he doesn't know or care about. But then he gets to know Vash, how good of a person he is despite the shit the world (and Knives) has put him through. How he'd rather risk his own life and health than kill another person because he believes he doesn't get to make that choice for people. And despite being someone who'd rather shoot first, pray for them after, Nick starts trying to wound rather than kill just because Vash doesn't like it. It puts them both at risk and he fusses and argues about it and still kills sometimes but he tries anyways. Eventually he decides that he'll do what he can to protect Vash from Knives without provoking him to destroy the orphanage. He ends up caring about him deeply against his own will to the point that his idea of Eden would be to live with Vash and their friends in a peaceful world where none of them have to fight and die. In the manga, Nick's dying request is to see Vash smile again- the genuine smile that he's complimented every time he's seen it. Vash can't give him that, because he knows Nick would see that it was a forced smile. Instead, he just sits with him until he dies. Afterwards, Vash kills willingly for the first time in his entire life (over 150 years. He's not human btw) in order to protect Nick's childhood friend Livio. He wouldn't just do that for just any friend or ally, no, that was out of love. Love so strong he could go against his own mother's teachings that all life matters and people don't get to choose when a life ends, the thing that has kept Vash pacifist all these years, to keep someone that mattered to Nick alive. So while Nick never knew that Vash cared for him the same way he did him, the fact matters that he does."

[shmothman]

Confessional

Pairing: Wolfwood & Reader, Vash/Reader Rating: Explicit (for language and discussion of explicit topics) Words: 773 Tags: gender neutral reader, Wolfwood's stupid portable confessional, trigun 98, reader has a crush on Vash and thinks it's unrequited, Wolfwood is my best friend who makes me want to punch him in the face A/N: this isn't really crack but it sure is stupid!

“You’re brooding,” Wolfwood says, coming to lean against the siding of the building next to you.

You shoot him an annoyed glance. “I'm not brooding.”

He plows forward like he didn’t hear you. “It’s about needle-noggin, ain’t it?”

“No,” you lie, “it’s not.” It’s not about him, or the way you wish he felt even an ounce of what you feel for him, or the way he was so close to you last night while he was drunk and now is keeping a careful distance. It’s not about any of that. Of course it’s not.

“It’d probably help if you confessed your sins,” he says, pulling out that damn ‘portable confessional’ with a shit-eating grin that makes you roll your eyes at the best of times—and now just makes you scoff.

“Yeah,” you reply with biting sarcasm, “I’m sure it would.”

“Come on,” he says, grinning wider. “You know you want to.”

“Not a single part of me wants that, Nic. I don’t even know the however-many-sins-there-are.”

“Seven,” he supplies helpfully, ticking them off on his fingers: “pride, sloth, greed, gluttony, wrath, envy, and—“ he winks at you— “lust.”

You laugh, incredulous. “Right. Okay. You know what? Fuck it.” 

His eyebrows shoot up in surprise as you snatch the confessional from his hands, putting it over your head and crossing your arms over your chest. If he’s gonna be an ass, you’re gonna make him regret it. 

“You wanna hear me confess my fuckin’ sins, Nicholas? Here: hey, father, I’ve been lustful as hell! I can’t even look in his general direction without getting horny! I can’t stop thinking about making out with him, and every time he pulls a trigger I think about his fingers inside me! I wanna fuck him six ways to sunday, in every position imaginable, over and over again until neither of us can walk for days!!” You can’t see his face right now, but you hope you’re making it as red as yours feels—though, damn him, it does feel good to confess this shit to somebody. Even if that somebody is Wolfwood. “I am lustful every minute of every goddamn day, and especially every minute of the night. And, hey, Isn’t masturbation a sin? I’m super guilty of that one. Like super guilty. Like every night guilty. He so much as smiles at me and I’m gonna jack off about it. I want to ride him like a goddamn Tomas, and you know what? I’m so in love with him, it hurts!”

…Well, you’ve sort of lost the plot, now. And you’re feeling much less confident than you were ten seconds ago. You pull the stupid box off your head and hold it back out to Wolfwood, jaw set and face flushed. 

His eyebrows are still sky-high, but he doesn’t quite look like you’ve embarrassed him… just yourself.

“There,” you say with finality. “That’s my confession.”

“Hi guys!” the voice behind you makes the blood drain from your face. Come on. You feel the warmth of him as he comes up behind you—you feel his presence, like you always do. “What’s up?” Vash asks.

Wolfwood’s eyes dart to you, then up to meet Vash’s gaze as he grins predatorily. “Oh, they were just telling me something really funny.” He cocks his head at you, and you want to wipe that damn smile right off his face. “Hey, why don’t you tell Vash what you just told me?”

You’re going to kill him. You’re actually going to kill him. Glaring daggers, you do your best to make your tone cheerful, though it sounds forced even to your own ear. 

“Oh, it really wasn’t that funny!”

“Sure it was,” Wolfwood says, smug as all hell. “Made me laugh, anyhow.”

You grind your teeth.

“I’m sure it was funny, I wanna hear it!” Vash says, and Jesus Christ, why did you ever open your mouth?

“Yeah, he wants to hear it,” Nicholas taunts.

You take a deep breath. “Oh! Hey, uh, I just remembered that Meryl and Milly need me for—um—something! Gotta run!”

With one final death glare thrown Wolfwood’s way, you turn on your heel, pointedly not looking at Vash as you make your completely un-smooth exit—you can’t let him see the way your face is burning.

God. Wolfwood’s never gonna let you live this one down.

Vash frowns as you leave, sure that he’s stepped into something, but not sure what. “What was so funny, Wolfwood?”

Nicholas claps him on the shoulder, the portable confessional set down on the ground. “Believe me,” he says, slipping a cigarette between his lips. “You’re gonna wanna hear it from them.”

[tomatoswup]

"Can I get a-"

summary: Hi! Welcome to McDonald's! How may I take your order?

warnings/tags: crack!fic, legit just a crack fic, or aCTUALLY A CRACK!DRABBLE☝️☝️ mcdonalds propaganda, big breakfast and hash brown advocation, poor vash trying to work on a normal day, knives fist fighting a customer waffle house style, reader just wants their breakfast ;(

A/N: ....do i have to explain why i wrote this.....i found the whole mcdonalds au one of the funniest things the fandom could've come up with...it wasn't just a need it was a NECESSITY :D

"Order number 32!"

Ah yes, McDonalds at 7 in the morning, the beeps of the orders coming in, the beeping of the machines, and the bustling talking of the customers either sitting and eating or waiting for their orders.

McDonalds was a true staple of cryptic shopping for hunger.

But you could never get enough of their big breakfast and hashbrowns. And like a zombie, sometimes you found yourself in line some mornings before work.

But this morning seemed a bit...off.

"YOU'RE BURNING THE THE FUCKING HASHBROWNS WOLFWOOD!"

"NO I'M NOT!"

You couldn't help but watch a pancake fly in the air as you made your way to the counter. There, you were met with a kind faced worker, a cute one too! Peeking at his name plate that read "Vash", you gave him a soft smile, still feeling a bit tired.

"Hi! How can I help you?" He asked, returning the smile, the McDonalds hat on his head pushing down the tufts of blonde spikes of his, peeking under the hat.

But why was he wearing glasses? It was practically still dark outside...

"Hi, can I get a-"

"EXCUSE ME! WHY DID I NOT GET ANY LARGE FRIES!" Turning your attention to one of the customers right by you, both Vash and you jumped at the sudden slam of a receipt onto the counter to one of the other workers behind it.

A more pale, blonde man stood there, giving the rude customer one of the most stankiest faces you never thought some one could ever give.

If looks could kill, this man definitely could. He looked like he was about to jump over the counter and pounce on the man with the energy he was giving out.

Waffle House style.

"Err, sorry 'bout that.."Vash sweatdropped before looking back at you "What did you want to order?"

"Can I get uh-"

"JESUS FUCK MERYL DO YOU KNOW HOW TO FLIP A SAUSAGE?"

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME!? I'VE BEEN WORKING HERE FOR 2 YEARS! YOU'RE THE NEW ONE!"

You took a step back when suddenly, you saw a flash of yellow flying towards the both of you.

WAS THAT AN EGG??

Oh fuc- "FUCK!" You shouted as you ducked, wait did you say duck? Or did you say fuck?

Looking back up, you saw pieces of egg hanging off the back of Vash's head as you put a hand over your mouth.

Oh noo...

"I'm so sorry-"

You got back up on your feet and leaned over to brush off the egg pieces from the back of Vash's head.

"And I thought today was gonna be a normal morning..." Vash exhaustingly sighed.

Suddenly, you heard a scuffle behind you, chairs moving and things toppling over.

What was going on!

Turning around, you watched as Nai fist fought the customer, chairs flying everywhere as Nai tackled the man into a table.

"HEY HEY KNIVES IS FIGHTING!!" You heard someone scream from the back before the influx of McDonalds workers came running from behind the counter, jumping over or going through the door entrance to aid him.

"GET HIS ASS KNIVES!"

"GET HIM OFF!"

"Oh we're getting sued..."

You couldn't help but just watch on, mouth agape at what just happened in the matter of 1 hour, before looking back at Vash, who kept his place behind the register, covering his face with his hands in embarrassment.

"I'm so so sorry...Honestly, I can give you a free apple pie because of all this..." He apologized, shoulders drooping down.

"Oh um, it's okay, really." You couldn't help but chuckle "Rough morning huh?"

Maybe you should come back another day.

...At least the cashier was cute..

[fruitsoxs]

hi socks just wanna let u know i have been thinking about those vashwood as roommates headcanons and i always come back to it cz it’s somehow??? so comforting??? 10/10 chef’s kiss thank u!

it's honestly my comfort au-- so here's a part two ! (here's part one)

Having Vash and Wolfwood as roommates would include(part two);;

warnings;; I included some nsfw headcanons this time. they're at the end and have a warning. This also has a bit of fighting/angst that ends in fluff notes: i have a couple of fics in the work for this au. let me know if there any big moments you would like to see written out into a full fic! (also possibly a knives spin off??)

Their jobs/majors

I kind of feel like Vash is studying in the science department. Specifically something that has to do with plant science? Botany, Environmental science, maybe even biology? I know it’s a little on the nose but I really do think it would work perfectly for him

Maybe he even opens up his own little flower shop in the future??

No matter what he has a lot of labs and he is always tired after them.

He probably has a part-time job as a barista at a little cafe on campus

No thoughts just Vash in a cute little apron

He’s a fan favorite among the college kids. They say he makes the best coffee, and he sometimes gives people little freebies when they look sad

His manager Meryl actively yells at him for it, but she doesn’t actually care that much.

He ALWAYS will give you freebies if you come in to visit him. He gets a free drink as an employee, and he’ll save it for you just in case you come in. Sometimes he’ll even take it to go and drop it off for you

Wolfwood gives huge phycology vibes. Mans had a messed up childhood and wants nothing more than to help other people through that stuff

Either that or he’s an art student. I can see that too

He takes school very seriously, but he is horrible at math. He cannot divide to save his life. He’s had to retake his math class like three times

His job? Well nobody knows and at this point everyone is too scared to ask. (He’s a security guard lol)

Whatever it is, he hates it. He comes home grumpy and needs lots of hugs and kisses.

He’ll be all pouty and pissed off, and then you’ll give him a little kiss on the cheek and a small smile will break out 

Bonus; Knives is on the track to becoming a surgeon. I will die on the hill that he is going into the medical field. (he’d look so good in scrubs) and i know McDonalds knives is kind of funny, but I'm thinking he’s actually and EMT. Imagine getting hurt and having Knives be your first responder (id die on the spot)

First Date

It’s not really a date- well you don’t call it a date. Vash just walks in with a couple of free tickets to a haunted house event thing  and asks if you and Wolfwood want to come

You’re like hell yeah

The drive there is like the calm before the storm. You listen to some music, seated in front with wolfwood driving. He definitely has his hand on your thigh. Vash is super excited about finally doing something that isn’t getting high and playing games

You all thought it was gonna be some dumb little spooky house. They’re never that scary. It’s just fun to see all the decorations and actors

Oh boy were you wrong

It’s so well put together. The actors are really into it, and they have amazing make up. When you’re standing in line, some clown girl walks up to Vash and you watch the regret build up on his face. The guy is already terrified

The first hallway is pitch black, and you have to rely on a feeling your way through it. Vash is mumbling about how much he hates it the entire time

Wolfwood is like “Don’t worry guys I’ll protect you.” And then proceeds to let out the loudest scream when the lights come on and there’s a girl dressed up as a ghost standing there

Soon all three of you are huddled up, holding hands, and shaking

These things should not be that scary!!!

It’s Vash who gets you kicked out

He gets so spooked that he runs into a bunch of boxes and knocks one of the fake walls down. The entire thing has to stop to fix it

You’re all banned

After that you go eat pancakes and complain about how scary it was

When things get tense

Fights can happen sometimes

None of you are perfect, and those boys have gone through some shit

Vash tends to shut himself away from you when he’s upset. He doesn’t come out of his room, and when he does he pretends like he’s fine. 

He doesn’t like burdening other people with his problems.

Eventually it just starts to feel like he doesn’t trust you enough to let you in. SIt gets really bad when he tells you to go away one day, and you watch Wolfwood walk into his room 30 minutes later

It doesn’t really turn into a fight. You just get sad, and even a little insecure. So, you avoid him back. Not because you’re vengeful, just because you feel hurt

A few days of the two of you not talking and Vash is in tears by your door

He begs for forgiveness and explains why he’s like this

You tell him it’s okay, but what he does really hurt you. He promises to work on it, and he does

That night the two of you make up for loss time

Wolfwood and you fight a lot more

Most of the time it’s silly little arguments that you solve pretty fast

Wolfwood is bad at communicating in general. But especially when it comes to his feelings

He has really bad days sometimes, and he can get grumpy really fast these days, and one day you really piss him off

He won’t tell you what you did though, he just gives you the cold shoulder

That pisses you off because you’d so be willing to talk it out and apologize, but he won’t tell you what you did 

So you’re mad now too

Things are tense between you too, and it all comes to an end on movie night when you start arguing about what movie to watch

You want to watch one of your favorite movies from your childhood and he says that it’s a stupid movie

Things get heated fast, while Vash just disappears into the background. He that the two of you need to workout your problems on your own (but he really wants to intervene) 

When the tears start falling, Wolfwood immediately stops

He takes a breath, and the two of you sit down and just talk. 

You talk ALL night about what happened, and what the two of you could have done better. In the end, you fall asleep on his chest while he plays with your hair. 

You have movie night the next night to make up for it, and he puts the movie you wanted to watch in before you can even talk about it ( he ends up loving the movie and after that you two watch it all the time)

Id have to make an entire other thing for when Vash and Wolfwood fight because it’s no fun for anyone

NSFW stuff

After the three of you finally get past the awkward stages and start fucking, you find out these two are…horny

They’ll grab you and go to town any time

They really like to share you, but there’s no jealousy in the relationship so it’s okay for one on one time as well!

Wolfwood will pull you into steamy make out sessions whenever. He’ll do it out of nowhere. I imagine he just really likes you, and can’t get enough

He’s very handsy. He’ll constantly have his hand on your hips, or your thigh, and your waist. He likes touching you

He’s the type to sneak risqué touches in public. He like watching you struggle to not let anyone else know what he’s doing

Quickies everywhere with Wolfwood

Vash is a lot more loving (not that Wolfwood isn’t loving– he probably has cried during sex) 

Vash takes his time though. He wants every moment with you to be special. He likes to do stuff like rubbing your back, and peppering kisses down your shoulders. He’ll run his hand up your shirt, and kiss your neck softly. He builds up to it

He really likes shower/bath sex. It’s intimate and relaxing

He also like when you take control (i know he’s a whimperer)

He is so bad at any type of public sex though. He gets embarrassed way too easily (and i think Wolfwood has fun with that) 

When the three of you do it together it’s fucking electric 

[loveandpeaceanddoughnuts]

Last Rites

a Vashwood fanfic, cross-posted on ao3

"What is wrong with you, blondie?" Wolfwood hit the brick wall with a closed fist, hissing as his knuckles split. "They don't give a damn about you! Whether you live or die!"

Vash stumbled, shifting his weight against the same wall as he cradled his right side. "That doesn't matter." 

"Like hell it doesn't matter!"

Vash flinched at the other man's intensity. The weak smile he offered Wolfwood slid sideways off his face with a new wave of pain. "You know how I feel, Wolfwood."

The undertaker shook his head in frustration. "Wish I did."

Vash's knees buckled, and he slid further down the wall. Wolfwood threw a strong arm around his shoulders before he hit the ground.

"Hey, easy, needle-noggin. Easy." Wolfwood's voice was soft gravel and warm gunmetal. "You don't get to die before I convince you you're a damn fool."

Vash blinked up at him, glassy-eyed. "Die?" He huffed a shaky breath. "You know I can't do that."

"So you say." Wolfwood didn't meet Vash's gaze as he rifled through his bag for first aid supplies. "Where's that damn gauze?"

"The bullet just grazed me. I've had worse, Wolfwood."

"Really? Because you're usually a drama queen and now you're actin' all tough. Got me scared as shit."

"Look at me, Wolfwood."

"No, damn it! We gotta get you patched up."

"Look at me!" Vash's jaw clenched with effort as he reached up to drag Wolfwood down by the collar. Wolfwood dragged his eyes down to Vash, his heart clenching as he took in the gunslinger's bloodless face. Vash didn't let go of his collar but kept pulling the man lower until they were nose to nose.

"You don't have to believe in me. But I'm not gonna let yourself get killed for me either. Nobody else gets hurt." Vash tried another smile, this one lasting a little longer before it trembled away.

"Believin' in you was never the problem, blondie." Wolfwood's mouth went dry this close to Vash. His eyes flicked from the Stampede's bright blue eyes to his tight-pressed lips. "Let me help you."

Vash's hand weakened and Wolfwood took the chance to pull gently out of his grip. "We gotta get this bullet outta you. You can argue with me later." He cautiously reached a hand down to the hem of Vash's tight black top. "Can I?"  Vash's eyes had fluttered shut, but he gave enough of a nod that Wolfwood kept going.

"This isn't how I wanted this to happen," he mumbled, carefully lifting the shirt over Vash's head as he searched for the bullet wound. "Fucking hell," Wolfwood swore. Vash's muscled torso was a patchwork of thick scars and metal grates, as if he had been taken apart and put back together over and over again. The undertaker's breath left him like a punch to the stomach. "What happened to you?"

Vash groaned and tried to curl around himself protectively. “N-nothing. ‘M fine, don’t look…”

“Oh, Vash…” Wolfwood couldn’t stop himself from gently running his calloused fingertips over the longest scar, a raised and jagged line that traced his ribs. Vash flinched and Wolfwood instantly removed his hand, cursing himself for the slip. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-” 

“No, you didn’t do anything. I just…I don’t like people to see me. Like this.” Vash’s words were sharp-edged with pain. “Especially people I- especially you.”

Wolfwood’s dark eyebrows knit together as he shushed the other man. He couldn’t know how wrong he was. Vash’s body was an alien landscape, and Wolfwood longed to map every inch of unexplored territory. “Don’t be ridiculous, blondie.” His voice dropped, ragged with the raw edges of the truth. “You’re beautiful.”

Vash laughed, but the normally musical sound was out of tune. “Don’t feel bad for me, Wolfwood. Doesn’t suit you.” He shook with the effort of speaking, and it didn’t escape Wolfwood’s notice.

“I feel bad for you ‘cause you’ve got such a spiky head, needle-noggin. But you’re fucking beautiful.”

The blonde opened his mouth to reply but was wracked by a cough. Bright blood dribbled over his lips, and his jaw went slack. 

“Vash?” Wolfwood grabbed his shoulder and shook hard. “Vash!” He swore and frantically tore apart his bag until he came up with bandages. “You’re okay. You’re okay.” He couldn’t tell whether the reassurances were for himself or the other man. Wolfwood tore a strip of bandages with his teeth, his eyes locking on a seep of sticky blood from underneath Vash’s body.

“Alright Typhoon, you’re gonna hold on for me.” Wolfwood turned him over quickly, steeling himself to the task at hand. “This is gonna fuckin’ hurt.” He ripped his flask from his pack and dumped stinging liquor over his hands, sterilizing them as best as he could. “I’ll make this up to you, okay? I swear to God, if He gives a shit.”

The undertaker took a deep breath and plunged his finger into the wound on Vash’s back, carefully feeling for the bullet lodged inside. He whispered apologies as Vash moaned in pain, his body still limp on the ground. The moans trickled to whimpers, and slowed entirely. In the silence, Wolfwood grew more desperate, no strength left to spend on his self-censoring.

“C’mon, baby. C’mon Vash, you stupid pretty thing, hang on f’me.” He gritted his teeth when he brushed against the warm metal, crooking his finger to pull the bullet out without causing too much extra damage. Wolfwood was numb everywhere except the places where his skin touched Vash’s. Those places burned like stars. “You’re doin’ so good, love. Stay here with me. I have so much to tell you if you stay here,” he murmured. 

Wolfwood reached for the liquor and took a hard swig from the bottle, swallowing with a wince. The rest he poured onto Vash’s wound, shakily brushing his hand over the blonde’s hair as the pain made him thrash. “I’m sorry, so sorry…your hair is so soft…softer than I even imagined,” Wolfwood whispered, a little hysterical. “I’ll tell ya so if you wake up after this, okay needle-noggin? Maybe I won’t even call ya that anymore.” 

“Forgive me for this, okay?” Wolfwood pressed clean bandages against the gunshot wound, a half-remembered prayer falling from his lips as Vash let out a strangled cry. “Almost done, almost done, love.” His eyes burned. “Why do you care about these people so goddamn much?” He leaned harder on the wound, willing the blood loss to slow. “What about the people who care about you? ” Vash’s blood soaked through the first fistful of bandages, and Wolfwood added a second. 

“I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep losing you.” Vash’s blood covered his hands, and Wolfwood swallowed down bile. “Fuck you, blondie. Fuck you for leavin' me alone again.” He was leaning his whole weight on the wound now, praying the bandages would be enough to hold Vash’s life in.

“You goddamn bleeding heart, you aren’t on your own anymore! This isn’t fair!” Wolfwood was crying, sick at himself. He didn’t even know he could still produce tears, and now he was on his knees next to the only person that would ever matter enough to wring them out of him. Vash’s eyes stayed shut, his body still and soft except for the tension in his jaw and the throb of his pulse in his neck. 

Wolfwood bent over him like a guardian angel. He turned Vash back over as the bleeding slowed and tenderly wiped the blood from his mouth. He pressed a heavy palm to the metal grate over Vash’s heart. “I love you, Vash. It scares me to death and I still love you. I can’t help it.” A bitter smile flickered over his face. “I’ve tried. Just get through this for me and I’ll tell you myself, okay?"

Suddenly out of things to do, Wolfwood collapsed back against the wall. His hands shook so badly that it took him three tries to get his lighter going, and he dropped the first cigarette he held to the flame. When it finally took, he sucked the smoke into his lungs like a penance and held it till he choked. That way, he had a reason for his voice to crack and his eyes to burn as he whispered, “Vash, please.”

[peachyloveswriting]

If u can ...mmm can u do like ... Basycally they are in a fight (Vash,Wolfwood and you) there are many gunshots but in the end wolfwood and Vash beat the criminals thinking that it was ok and fine but then they hear gasp and "g...guys..." as they turn they saw y/n shaking looking at them with one hand holding the bullet wound in the chest,the other full of blood, then they fall on their knees and they panic,crying saying that it hurts, saying that they don't want to die,so they clench on him, then Vash trying to stop the bleeding?

U can put like some reassuring Vash and wolfwood saying that help his coming,crying and all that,also the bullet was out and leaved a huge gap?

U can be as detailed as possible or put so much pain yada yada,blood and all

I'm gonna read the writing u did now

I absolutely love this idea. I think I'll need some fluff or something other than angst after this though lol. I love angst but too much and I'm burnt out for sure.

PLEASE STAY --- Vash & wolfwood

SUMMARY: Everyone was in check right? They got all the bad guys. Everyone was okay, right? Seems they've sadly struck an unlucky mine.

Warning: Blood, hella angst

NOTES: I'm leaving this written as is, sorry but I just can't find it in myself to write the ending at the moment. I would have written it later then posted it but I figured I'd get this out the way first.

⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝

"Was that the last one?" Nick turns to Vash with his cross ready to fire again. Taking a simple glance around, Vash nods his head with a small smile.

"Yeah, that-" Vash is cut off by a loud gasp. Turning to look behind him, his skin grows ice cold. Both men swear they can feel their hearts stop when they look. On your knees you shake and shudder in fear, blood spills over your hand from where it clutches your chest tightly. You can't feel it but the blood is so warm against your skin and the bullet in your body feels so cold.

"G... Guys?"

Nick's cross falls to the ground with a loud thud as he rushes to your side, his hands clutching your shoulders as he looks you over. "Oh god." He stammers. The cigarette delicately placed between his lips falls between his knees, he can feel you shaking in his hands. A spike of panic rises in his chest and his throat squeezes. Behind him, Vash watches the scene unfold in horror. Frozen in place, his heart pounds in his ears. Was this happening?

"Fuck! Make it stop, make it stop! It hurts, fuck it hurts!" You clench your eyes shut in pain. The initial shock has worn off leaving you stripped bare to the pain settling in your bones. If you could dig yourself a hole and never come back, God you would. Fisting Nick's shirt with a scream, you slip against him, your forehead resting on his shoulder.

"I'm going to die. I don't want to die. Nick, I don't wanna die." If there's anything 'The Punisher' should be well versed with, it's death. This, he knows better than anyone. Watching the light fade from someone's eyes as they shudder their last breath and slump limply into the ground. He always watches nonchalantly, not a single emotion stirring inside his chest. But now, it's burning alive with fear and anxiety.

"Vash! Do something!" The death of another has always been inconsequential to him but as you shake and sputter in his arms, blood gushing from your chest while you scream in pain, he feels a switch inside of him flip on like a light. After all these years, it's finally coming back to bite him in the ass.

Vash appears beside him with a torn flap of fabric from his cross cover. Pulling you away from his body he tenses, watching you limply flob around like a discarded rag doll. Vash leans forward, his arms wrapping around you to tie the cloth around your chest. The hand covering the wound falls limply at your side as he tightens the cloth down. Vash extends his arms to take you.

"c'mon, c'mon..." He urges Nick to pass you to him. As gently as he can, Nick places you in Vash's arms bridal style. "It's going to be okay. Don't worry. I've got you now." Vash takes off running, leaving Nick to hurriedly gather his cross and join the chase.

"Just how do you think we're getting help?" Nick asks as he finally catches up to the blonde. He's pointedly staring ahead, his eyes fixated on the closest running truck.

Coming to a stop at the door Nick pulls it open and raises a gun to the driver. "Get out or your next."

Eyes wide with fear, the driver dies out of his seat and onto the dusty ground. Taking his cross he throws it into the bed of the truck and rushes to the other side, where he climbs into the driver's seat and waits for Vash to settle in. The moment that door closes, the tires are kicking up dirt.

"There's a doctor at the far end of town. Hurry." Vash tells him as he looks down at you in his arms. Your shaking profusely, your hands reaching to tug at his jacket. The world around you feels like it's frozen over and it's hard to keep your eyes on anything. "Vash... I'm cold. Please..." You whine. He hushes you. "Don't worry." Carefully his arms slip from underneath you to slide his coat off.

"Just relax." The coat drapes over your entire body and surrounds you with a shield of warmth but it's not enough. It feels like Ice is still building in your veins. Everything going on at once is running your body thin, making your eyes grow heavy and sleep weight in the back of your mind. No matter how hard you peel them open, blinking holds them shut while you struggle to wake back up.

"I can't keep my eyes open." The truck slows to a stop and both the doors fly open.

"Don't fall asleep!" Nick yells as he reaches your side. Still in Vash's arms you struggle to open your eyes again, something calls to you in your head. It begs for you to succumb to the darkness but you refuse.

"Keep your eyes open. Look at me." Vash begs.

Running into the building, Nick rushes to the front desk. "We need medical attention right now. There's been a bullet wound to the shoulder and they're losing conscience." He stammers.

The woman behind the desk stands and runs to Vash's side. "Come with me baby." She places a hand on his back and hurriedly pushes forward towards the operating room. Behind them follows Nick who struggles to keep up. The woman is talking to you, lightly slapping your face to keep you awake. It works for the most part but you can't bring yourself to move. You've lost too much blood.

"Emergency. Coming in!" She yells holding the door open to usher them in. The doctor perks up at the four of you entering. Upon seeing you he frowns and gestures for you to be laid on the table. Gingerly, Vash places you against the cold bed, his coat still covering your shivering body. He watches in horror while the lady starts to guide him away from you, pushing back against her he watches you turn to look at him.

"Please stay."

The door shuts in his face and for the first time, Nick watches him crumble to the floor; his head held in his hands while sobs wrack his body. The ever joyful, Vash, was crying.

Nick couldn't find it in himself to keep watching, just hearing Vash cry was enough to make his own eyes water. Turning away to leave, he pulls a cigarette from its pack and brings it to his lips. As he walks away, he starts to hope that you'll recover quickly, that way he won't ever have to see you like that again. Looking down to slide his cigarettes in his pocket he finds his suit covered in your blood. You lost so much... A blood transplant was surely needed. Between him and Vash he wasn't entirely sure if either of them would be of use in that matter but it darkens the sliver of hope in his heart.

Stopping him from straying any further away is Vash's hand around his wrist. Just as Nick turns to face him Vash hugs him tightly. Sobs still fall from his lips and blood covers his entire torso. He doesn't bother to offer any comfort to the blond and instead allows him to cry to his heart's content against him. There's just not enough energy for him to care for another person besides himself.

[pancake-breakfast]

Someone help me out here.

In Volume 6 of Trigun Maximum, we get a flashback to Knives recruiting Wolfwood, but for the life of me I can't figure out when this happened. It seemed like he might have been working for Knives before 5th Moon? But Knives just spent a whole bunch of time being patched up post-July... which I thought happened around 50 years ago? I know Wolfwood's age is wonky, but I'm pretty sure he looks older than he is, not younger.

Was Knives just like, "Oh, this guy pulled a gun on me during my recovery period. I'm gonna go hunt him down and make him work for me finding and protecting my baby brother"? If so, why the heck was Wolfwood even at 5th Moon, since he wouldn't have been recruited by Knives until after that?

Do I need to just keep reading and all will be answered, or is this one of those things where I shouldn't worry about it too much because clearly Nightow didn't?

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Stampede Wolfwood got Metaphorically Isekai'd (No This is Not a Shitpost)

Oh my god if this winds up being part of my legacy I'll probably cry.

So. Everyone who's watched the new show knows that Wolfwood is introduced by getting hit by Meryl's van in the middle of the desert where he is literally the only thing to get hit for miles around. What an entrance. Welcome to the team buddy.

[ID: A screenshot from Trigun Stampede Episode 4. At an above view, the van has spun, unfortunately sending the trailer back part crashing directly into Wolfwood. He is starfished face-first into it, rather comically. End ID.]

It's funny as heck, but, since I am deranged, I'm gonna try and convince you that this is not only an isekai joke, but that the basic premise of an isekai actually applies fairly well to Stampede Wolfwood in the first season... but then a lot of the standard tropes are made into notable and tragic subversions. Also please note I have never actually watched an isekai anime so maybe take all this with a grain of salt. Or several. (Also isekai is a really broad genre. I'm talking specifically about the tropiest things to come out of it - please don't take what I'm about to discuss as representative of the entire genre!)

In the manga, and I believe in the 98 anime as well, Wolfwood is spotted by Vash while him and the insurance girls are travelling on a bus. He is out in the middle of the desert, and so thirsty and exhausted he's initially mistaken for dead. Vash and the girls manage to cause enough of a ruckus that he is literally saved (which echoes the influence they, but especially Vash, will have on him later on), and they all end up on the bus as him and Vash become acquainted - the start of their companionship, and the start of their journey together (being quite literally on a moving vehicle). In the 23 anime, it all seems set up to give us the same intro: there is a vehicle, Wolfwood is clearly exhausted from trekking through the desert, Meryl and Vash are there... and then, suddenly -

[ID: Two screenshots from Trigun Stampede Episode 4. In the first, Wolfwood is walking with Punisher across the sand with a bright blue sky background. He does not see the van coming into sharp focus on a direct path towards him. In the second, Meryl, in the driver's seat, looks out with a shocked expression. Roberto's hand has reached over to grab the wheel. End ID.]

Pfft. Sorry I had to rewatch this to get the screenshots and I swear it does not get any less funny. Anyways, Wolfwood gets hit instead of getting rescued, but the end result is the same - he ends up in the vehicle and his journey with them begins.

So. Why the difference?

Well, I can only really speculate, and honestly it was probably just for the humour of it, but I do have another (deranged) suggestion.

See, Wolfwood in the manga is a little different from Stampede's Wolfwood - he's a lot friendlier for one (though no less trying to scam people), and he's got a little bit more self-made purpose (protecting and providing for the orphanage), even if he still lacks true agency. Stampede Wolfwood, by contrast, is a lot more aimless. He's on constant survival mode, which makes him a lot more openly abrasive right from the get-go, more cavalier about his own life (smokes way more than in the manga, takes bullets when there's actually no reason to), and a lot less in control of his outward persona (there have been many observations I've seen on how he's not the best at holding back his emotions - imo I don't think manga Wolfwood is especially good at that either, but in Stampede, it's really obvious).

Stampede Wolfwood also plays up his "monstrousness" a lot more in front of people, which is probably the most significant difference to me. Manga Wolfwood... doesn't exactly try to hide it, but he tends to take a "well, somebody had to do what needed to get done" attitude, like a kind of tired "I know there's no going back and I know I've turned into a monster. This is all I know how to be now. Somebody has to make the hard calls." But he feels shame about it all the same - look at how he puts his sunglasses on whenever he's about to do something he finds reprehensible (well, except the Ninelives fight... but no one was around to witness him there). It's made pretty explicit later that the glasses are a way for him to say "don't look at me. don't see what I've become".

Meanwhile, Stampede Wolfwood never takes the glasses off. He's much more upfront about the threat he poses - calling out Vash for not watching his back, outright saying he could've shot him - not a smart move when trying to earn someone's trust. His teasing, when he does it, isn't quite as playful, and has a bit of a bite to it. It's almost like he wants to be hated; like he's torn between justifying the necessity of his actions and convincing others that he is just as much of a monster as he feels.

I really think the key differences have a lot to do with their respective situations. Wolfwood in the manga... he got out, for a bit. He couldn't go back to the orphanage, but for at least a little bit, he wasn't under the Eye of Michael's thumb, he did get to meet people outside of missions and travel a bit, and was acting on his own intent... until he ended up pulled back into it because of Knives. Stampede Wolfwood has been under their control since he was taken from the orphanage. Everyone he loves is a hostage. He's taken on the name of his weapon and has known nothing else except this world of darkness - there's very little to imply he's travelled or spoken to anyone without it being for some mission. He's under consistent surveillance.

This "babysitting" mission, then, is something very different from his usual. It's not an assassination. Even more so, it's putting him in close contact with people who are not part of the world that he inhabits, the only one he's known since he was taken, which kickstarts significant changes in his life. You could even say he's been... transported to a different world than the one he'd lived in up to this point...

Enter Truck-kun. Or, rather, Van-kun.

Alright, so what is an isekai? Essentially, it's a wide-ranging genre where the protagonist gets transported or reincarnated to another world (usually regular world -> fantasy/sci-fi world), and typically involves an ordinary person becoming important/powerful in this new world - the genre is, a lot of the time, a mix of power fantasy and wish fulfillment.

Obviously, there is no literal transporting to another world here; it is still very much the same world (I'll bring up why this is important later.) But it's notable that Wolfwood remains very much the outlier in their group - he does not blend in, and his methods and approach are very different to that of the rest, who do not come from the same "world" as him. It's the start of a pretty drastic change in situation for him. It's why I really wish there were more episodes showing his dynamic with the group before it all went to hell - I bet he was so awkward.

The next thing I want to mention is that if you thought I was going to be arguing that there is a standard isekai parallel here... well I lied to you. A lot of the common tropes actually get subverted in kinda heartbreaking ways.

Usually the protagonist of an isekai (not always, but often) is some kind of chosen one. They are able to excel in situations that others cannot, and it's usually because they bring some kind of skill or knowledge from their old life that the people in the new world, obviously, don't. They tend to become ultra powerful, well able to take on any of their challenges in this new world, with advantages others don't have.

This doesn't sound like anything to do with Wolfwood after being hit by Meryl's van. But it sure sounds an awful lot like him after being taken by the Eye of Michael.

He is transferred from his comparatively normal life to one straight out of a sci-fi horror. He's a chosen "Child of Blessing", ranked "S+". He was able to survive grievous harm and experimentation, "excelling" where most other hapless kids did not. What did he bring with him from his old life that none of the people in his new life seem to have that allowed him to survive in the way he did? Well... he had something to protect didn't he? That's how he continues to struggle on. This is far from the sentiment shared by people like Conrad and Legato.

And so Wolfwood becomes ultra powerful - his body is fast, strong and resilient; he's efficient and good at what he's been trained to do. But this is far from anything he wanted. The power fantasy is subverted. Wolfwood is powerful enough to handle pretty much any threat that's thrown at him... but all it does is isolate and alienate him, and make him feel like a monster. Another aspect of isekai is that freedom one gets from being able to start over and become someone closer to their ideal self in a new setting - that's the wish fulfillment part. Well, Wolfwood has never been further from free, or less like the person he wishes to be. He hates everything he has become, but can't get out. Unable to change his situation, and increasingly jaded and disillusioned, Wolfwood takes on the moniker of "Punisher" and gives up on his old self. "Wolfwood" has effectively died.

Other than "transfer" isekai, there is also another kind - the "reincarnation" isekai. I'm not going to even touch bringing up the premise of reincarnation with a guy who carries around a giant cross on his back as I am far from qualified (knowing very little about Christianity at all), but I think it's worth noting that Wolfwood's arc (in all iterations) has much to do with his ever-present conflict with Vash over morality, but also just as much about his struggle to reconcile the person he was with the person he was forced to become, and if there is such a thing as forgiveness or redemption for him.

If "Wolfwood" has died before the story started, then he is "reincarnated" over the course of the story as he slowly starts to find himself again, with the kickstarting impetus being him getting hit by Meryl's van.

The changes don't start instantly. He wakes and things seem relatively normal - the plan is working, there's someone obviously suspicious of him - all stuff he's probably very used to. And then Vash goes and completely blindsides him.

[ID: A screenshot from Trigun Stampede Episode 4. A close up of Vash's face in the dim lighting, with eyes softened and a smile. End ID.]

"I can see it in his eyes."

Okay, so we all kinda giggle a little bit here because who the hell says that to some sketchy guy wearing dark sunglasses in a dark cave-like area when you've only just met, but I really want to stress that this is probably the first truly positive interaction Wolfwood has had in years... and I think Vash is well aware of that.

Wolfwood starts the transition from darkness to light... quite literally.

Almost all of Wolfwood's defining scenes are in the darkness of night, in contrast to the brightly lit desert in the day - think of when he moves away from the fire to speak to Zazie at the end of his intro episode, and assassinates the EoM traitor at the beginning of episode 6. In episode 5, we also get this:

[ID: Two screenshots from Trigun Stampede Episode 5. In the first, Rollo has Vash pinned to a metal wall by his neck. The sun can be seen between the two of them. In the second, Rollo lies dead on the ground. It is now night, and Vash stands over him, head low. Wolfwood stands a distance away. End ID.]

As Vash tries to speak to Rollo, to talk him down, the sun, though setting, is bright and illuminates both their faces. This all comes crashing down, literally, as Wolfwood takes the shot. Rollo falls, the sun stops shining on him, and by the time they all reach his body, night has fallen and the world is in darkness. The light goes out for Rollo... and in Wolfwood's eyes, for him too. He shot out of mercy, after all. He's living a nightmare he sees no escape from nor feels deserving of escaping from - worse, he feels as though he's a part of that darker setting, dragging it into their journey along with him.

However, we've established the lens of the "reincarnation" isekai for the purposes of this analysis, and along with that usually comes a way to compensate or reconcile for missed opportunities or mistakes made in the past by becoming something closer to one's own original ideal - sometimes this can even be a literal starting over, by being reborn into one's own younger self. And that's the importance of what Vash says to Wolfwood in episode 4 - he sees the potential in Wolfwood; the old self he thought had "died" a long time ago. Vash knows he's not the person he's been made to become and encourages him - not to do as Vash does, but to do as Wolfwood actually wants to do but thought for the longest time as hopeless. After all, what is a blank ticket if not a second chance or a new lease on life?

On the sand steamer in episode 6, the scene starts off in daylight once again, but after Wolfwood realizes the new assailant is Livio and we see their backstory, the snap back to the present scene is at night, and the scene darkens as the situation becomes more dire... and as Wolfwood comes to the conclusion that he will have to kill his brother.

But as Zazie's bug, or "eye", gets shot by Vash deflecting what would have been a fatal blow to Livio... suddenly, Wolfwood is free to act without the EoM's ever present surveillance. This is a serious step to severing the binds to that old life, and, as Wolfwood ultimately does not want any harm to come to Livio, he finds another way. And the sky starts to lighten again.

[ID: A screenshot from Trigun Stampede Episode 7. A close up of Livio's face with a distant, pensive expression. A wisp of smoke trails underneath as the pinkish hue of the sunrise is seen in the background. End ID.]

Of course, while this does succeed in waking him, it doesn't actually save him. But it is enough that Wolfwood decides to try letting a little bit of hope back in - to acclimate, even if just a little, to Vash's ideals, or his "world". Wolfwood's wish, to protect the orphanage, is (temporarily) fulfilled - in broad daylight, and without the death he'd been so accustomed to in his old "world". While he outwardly denies it, angrily telling Vash that he is no longer "Wolfwood" and instead merely "the Punisher", that "I'm not like you", the episode's title card, which appears directly after this exchange, does not agree.

[ID: A screenshot from Trigun Stampede Episode 7. A black background with white text; the title card for the episode that reads "#07 Wolfwood". End ID.]

He's more himself than he's been in a long time.

In that sense, going back to my insane original premise, we can say that he was isekai'd once by transfer, turning him into someone else... then isekai'd again by reincarnation after he thought his old self dead, helping him to start on the path to finding that younger self and that hope he thought he'd lost. It's a double subversion, in a way, as the first is far from wish fulfillment, and the latter is actually a restoration - a realization that as he slowly starts to transition to the light, he actually never left this world at all when he was changed against his will. He's not a monster of the dark. He still has a place in this lighter world.

Heartwarming, in a way, but also kind of heartbreaking, as if he hasn't truly left this world then there are still consequences.

Wolfwood, after this, still has to complete his contract. He didn't actually get out.

And Vash, for all that he appears to be someone "not like" Wolfwood, is actually far more similar than he'd initially suspected - Vash, too, came from darkness. The Big Fall happened at night. And even as Wolfwood's world grows lighter, Vash's grows ever darker as what he has tried to stave off bleeds into the light, culminating in the events of July, which take place entirely at night, and are truly Vash's darkest hours. Rather than Vash being some naïve creature of a lighter world that Wolfwood cannot reach, he is instead another person from darkness who is struggling for the light all his own.

Because of course, there is no "lighter world" or "darker world". No true "travel" between the two. Just one world that is both at once. And what one finds in it is dependent on what one chooses to read into their circumstances. A kinder, brighter world isn't something they can simply get isekai'd to. It's something these characters have to struggle to make a reality - it's what Vash does, it's what Meryl takes a stand for, it's what Wolfwood, deep down, wants to believe is possible. Hope is something you build yourself, etc.

Anyways, I can't believe I just wrote all that. I think I'm losing my mind. If you came out of this going, "Story, what the hell are you talking about?" then... well. Me too. Thanks for reading anyways!

[dr4k3n0]

Drunk Confessions

I love writing Vash.. He just needs love. ^^

Synopsis: Vash did some drastic things to get your attention..

TW: Drinking?

Word Count: 1.6k

Today, you and Meryl were going out for a girl's day. It was about 1 o'clock and you both deiced to leave the boys to themselves. You both walked through the small town looking for something interesting to do. 

"What do you think we should do?" Meryl said as she stopped at a dried-up and cracked fountain. 

You thought for a moment before suggesting, "We could go to a cafe if they have one around here that is." 

Her eyes lit up before she hugged you quickly "That's a great idea! Let's go find one!" She said excitedly. 

Dragging you around the building to find a cafe you smiled at her excitement and went along with it. In all honesty, you were exhausted. You were up late every night and were woken up by the others around dawn. You yawned before colliding with her as she stopped suddenly. 

"Found one!" She said happily. 

"Well, what are we waiting for?" You said. 

Going back to Vash and the others they watched as you both walked off into the distance finding something to do. 

"How much ya'll willing to bet, that one of them is gonna get drunk?" Wolfwood said to the others. 

Vash chuckled a bit while no one answered Nickolas's question. 

"You guys are no fun," He said annoyed. 

"Welp, what should we do boys?" Nickolas said turning to the others. 

Vash shrugged while Roberto stayed silent as he puffed on his cigar. 

"Aight let's just go to a bar," Nickolas said. 

"Yea I'm down with that," Vash said as Roberto nodded and followed them. 

While they walked to the small saloon, Vash got weird stares from the civilians of the town. Whispering could be heard as Vash walked happily behind Nickolas. 

Entering the Saloon,  the aroma of alcohol overcame their noses and they took a seat at a table. They quickly ordered drinks and sat waiting for the drinks to be finished. Vash continued to get weird stares while some whispered about him. Eventually, the drinks with some small cups came and Vash grabbed a cup and quickly filled it, before downing the drink. Hiccupping, he slammed the glass on the counter pouring more for himself from the bottle. Nickolas and Roberto watched him in shock as he continued to down cup after cup. 

"Ya good Needle Noggin?" Nickolas finally said. 

Vash's cheeks began to heat up. 

He looked up at Nickolas and said, "Yea why wouldn't I be?" Hiccupping again. 

"If you say so.." Nickolas said as he finished his first cup. 

The boys continued to drink more while you and Meryl enjoyed a relaxing day at the cafe. When you first walked in the inside looked a lot prettier than the crusty and old outside. The inside had small pink stripes painting the wall and some posters hanging around the place. Upon first entering, you were overwhelmed by the smell of bread and coffee. You both walked up to the counter before ordering coffee for the both of you and as well as some baked goods. After paying and getting the things you ordered you both sat by a window talking about random things. 

"What do you think the boys are doing?" You asked. 

Meryl looked up at you before chuckling a little. 

"Probably drinking," She giggled. 

"Sounds about right," You said shaking your head disappointed. 

Vash was still drinking hard. The burning liquid couldn't fulfill how he was feeling. He had already done a drinking contest with 10 individual men and won all of them. Roberto and Nickolas were also drunk but not as badly as Vash. They all were eventually kicked out of the saloon. They walked with each other's arms around the other's shoulders for support as stumbled and giggled down the street. Walking past the cafe you and Meryl were at, you watched out the window as they walked as Vash made eye contact with you. Waving, he hiccupped and continued to walk with the others. 

"Oh my god.." You said getting up from your seat. 

"What? What's wrong?" Meryl said surprised by your actions. 

"Look out that window.. I'm going to get them before they cause problems," You said as you threw away your trash and walked out the door with Meryl close behind you. 

Running to them, they stopped. "Aw look it's the girlies," Nickolas slurred. 

"Y/n!" Vash said as he practically fell towards you. You grabbed him and supported him before sighing. 

"Let's get you boys back to the hotel.." You said making eye contact with Meryl as she understood what to do. 

You walked them back to the hotel slowly as they stumbled on their feet. 

"Y/n-ieeee" Vash said as he hugged you tightly. 

"Vash, stop, we're going to fall-" You said as he was basically draped on top of you. 

"This is the last time I'm letting you boys out of my sight." You whispered to yourself. 

"Y/n are you mad at me?" Vash hiccuped. 

"I'm not mad at you," You said dryly. 

It wasn't a lie you weren't mad at him, you were worried about him. Vash wouldn't do this type of stuff. Something must have happened. 

Finally making it to the hotel you helped Meryl get Roberto to his room before parting ways as she took Nickolas to his and you took Vash to his. Eventually making it to his room you sighed and sat him in the small chair outside of his room. 

"Vash do you have the key?" You asked. 

He pats all of his pockets before shrugging. Sighing, you pat down all of his pockets before feeling the key in the pocket on his chest. 

"Can you grab the key out there for me?" You asked him patiently. 

He shook his head before grabbing your hand and putting it on his warm cheek. He smiled and closed his eyes as he nuzzled into your hand. 

"Vash, let go.." You said as you began to get flustered. 

He shook his head again and smiled. 

"You can't make me." He said sticking his tongue out like a child. 

He's just like a child you thought. Using your other hand, you reached into the pocket before grabbing the key and reaching to unlock his door. 

You pushed the door open with your foot, before grabbing Vash and walking him into his room. Sitting him down on his bed, you stood up, popping your back before looking at him. 

"Y/n you're so pretty," Vash said smiling at you. 

Becoming flustered you deny his words. 

"You don't mean that, you're drunk." He pouted at you before saying. 

"I think you're beautiful." He paused a moment. 

"In fact, I love everything about you, your personality, your looks, everything. I really like you Y/n," He continued this time not slurring a single word. 

Blushing a bit, you do admit you had feelings for the blonde, but you knew that he was drunk and probably didn't mean them. Even if he did, he probably wouldn't remember ever confessing to you. 

"Thanks, Vash, but you should get some sleep I'll see you in the morning," You say as you head towards the door. 

Grabbing the doorknob, Vash's arms wrap around you cautiously as you stiffen and blush. 

"Do you think I'm drunk..?" He mumbled quietly. 

"Aren't you?" You asked still not looking at him. 

"I'm not drunk.. I was faking it to get your attention.." He admitted quietly. 

"I meant what I said." He continued. 

You were still frozen in your position before you slowly turned around. 

"If you can do these tests accurately, I'll believe you when you say you're not drunk." You said. 

He nodded and smiled at you before saying 

"Sure,". 

"Okay I'm going to shine a light in your eyes to see if they dilate, is that okay?" You asked. 

He smiled and nodded at you. Grabbing a flashlight you quickly shone it in his eyes to see if they dilated, which they did. Next, you had him walk in a straight line, and he did it almost perfectly. 

"You really aren't drunk.." you said shocked. 

He nodded at you as you stood there and the heat returned to your face. 

"You actually meant what you said?" You asked cautiously. 

He nodded again. "I.. like you too, Vash.." You said quietly. 

He perked up a little bit and his eyes began to shine. 

"Wait say that again," He begged. 

Your face heated up even more and you looked away from him, "I.. like you too.." You repeated. 

Suddenly Vash hugged you quickly. You stood shocked for a moment before hugging him back. He smiled as he hugged you tightly. You smiled and buried your head in his chest feeling safe and warm in his arms. After a while, you pulled away from each other and Vash smiled at you. 

"I will admit, I am a little bit tipsy.." He admitted. 

"No, really?" You said sarcastically. He laughed before smiling at you again. 

"So uhm.. would you want to potentially go on a date maybe..?" Vash said quickly. 

You chuckled at him before replying with, "I'd love to." 

"Sweet, we can talk later about it, I think I'm gonna hit the sack," Vash said smiling at you. 

"Sounds good, see you!" You said walking out the door. 

Walking to your room, you thought about what had just happened. It was almost like a dream. You walked into your room before getting ready for bed and falling asleep quickly. 

The next day, the sun had barely begun to rise and the sounds coming from Vash's room sounded terrible. You woke up to the sound of someone throwing up realizing it was probably Vash. Walking out of your room, you knock on Vash's door. From behind the door, you could hear things crashing to the floor and his footsteps. The door swung open as Vash stood in the doorway with a blanket around his figure and he looked utterly sick. 

"Oh, God.. this is going to be a long day.." You remarked tiredly.

[anyasathenaeum]

Hi! How are you? If it's alright with you, may I request a one-shot (or hcs, if you are more of comfortable) Vash x reader (female, if that's okay) where she is Meryl's sister and she is a total sweetheart who always helps Vash?

A/N: Hi Anon! Thanks for your request - I do try to keep the reader gender-neutral, just for inclusivity reasons :) Here are some headcanons for you!

You being Meryl's sibling can go one of two ways - either you're the older sibling, or you're the baby sibling.

If you're the older sibling, you're the one keeping Meryl's hotheaded self from getting herself into worse trouble than she already does, while if you're the baby, well, let's just say trouble happens even MORE

While Meryl can be more emotional and impulsive in her actions, you're known as the more caring and gentle of the two.

Vash meets you shortly after Meryl and Roberto find him outside Jenorah Rock, when you end up in the same town as your sibling purely by coincidence

"Meryl!" You'd exclaim as you noogie your sister affectionately, embarrassing her in front of Vash and Roberto and a handful of townspeople

Your nature would definitely catch Vash's eye and he'd find himself talking to you more than he expected

He definitely sees how you and Meryl are related, though, as you share the same temper and despite Meryl being the more openly-emotional/impulsive one, you have your moments too

There was a moment when Vash interrupted you and Meryl as you squabbled and you both turned to yell "The adults are talking!" at the same second

Vash just burst into laughter at that - you and Meryl were siblings, alright

Vash also sees you taking care of everybody in the group, always ensuring everybody is hydrated, fed, and well-rested as best as possible without a second thought

You also don't hesitate to sacrifice or give away anything you have that somebody else needs more than you do

Vash sees that and has even been on the receiving end of your kindness more than from anybody else in his life, and it melts his heart

"Oh, Vash, are you hungry? Here, have some of my food, I'm not that hungry!"

"Vash, that looks heavy, here, let me help you!"

"Can't sleep, Vash? Me, neither. Are you cold? You can take my sleeping bag and add it to yours if you want extra layers, I'll probably stay awake for a while longer."

Vash seriously hasn't met anybody as giving or as caring as you and to say you have a special place in his heart is an understatement

Vash does end up falling for you somewhere along the line without really realizing it

Meryl ends up being the one to make him realize it out when she says something along the lines of "Can you stop oogling my sibling? I know you're in love with them but seriously, you're making me nauseous."

The blush on Vash's face after Meryl said that matched the colour of his jacket and he spluttered in a futile attempt to argue or dismiss Meryl's statement, but one look from Meryl shut him up real quick

Meryl loves you dearly and sees that Vash makes you happy, but for some reason, you're both blind idiots

Time for ultimate wingwoman Meryl to shine

Locking the two of you in closets by "accident", having you two share rooms on your travels, you name it, Meryl's orchestrating it, even roping in Wolfwood and Roberto into her schemes to get you and Vash together

Meryl eventually sits down with you, maybe after a particularly difficult emotional moment and just talks with you

"I see how happy Vash makes you, (Y/N). I know you're in love with him. You should give this a chance."

When you and Vash finally come to your senses, Meryl is the first to exclaim in relief, "FINALLY!"

Meryl is your and Vash's #1 supporter and always will be, and you know Meryl's gonna hang the "she got you and Vash together" thing over you until you die

Taglist: @mossygalaxy, @ryuukami4, @spacioussoul, @iceoblivious

[whirlwindimagines]

if you’re still taking x reader requests could we get one where the reader takes care of wolfwood while he’s sick? he is at the top of my poor little mew meow list rn 😭

lol here you okay! Enjoy <3

'No one's gonna listen to me'

Nicholas D. Wolfwood x Reader

“Get back in bed.” Your arms are crossed and your tone is annoyed, you swear to God if you walk back in this room one more time and Wolfwood is trying to get up and leave you're going to lose it. 

“Sweetheart there are easier ways to keep me in bed.” You roll your eyes with a huff, moving to block the door, “yeah it’s called putting a sleeping pill in your drink.” You say unamused, walking towards Wolfwood he sits back down on the bed with a huff.

Standing in front of him you raise a brow, “Now get back under the covers and rest, I’ll get you something to drink and eat and then we can cuddle” you tease. As he blushes to grumble as he lays back down on the bed not under the covers. But you consider it a win, “this is bullshit I’m not sick” he says this with a cough. 

“Yes, clearly you are the pinnacle of health” you deadpanned, and with a threatening glance head out of the room and into the kitchen, the house you were staying at was pretty nice for an abandoned building. But when Wolfwood collapsed with a high fever you know you needed to find somewhere for him to rest and somewhere you can keep himself.

But it’s been a battle ever since! Getting him to stay in the damn bed and let you take care of him was a fight! With a sigh, you get a glass of water for him and the bottle of medicine. Maybe you should try that sleeping pill. You also grab him something light to snack on, he has been refusing to eat and that’s also been pissing you off.

Returning to the room quietly, you can't help but smile it looked like Wolfwood finally decided to pass out. Setting things down on the nightstand you sit at the edge of the bed reaching a hand out to rest on his forehead brushing his bangs away from his forehead. He still feels a little hot, but not as bad as earlier. “So stubborn,” you mutter with a smile. 

“Your one to talk.” your hand stills, as he opens his eyes to look at you, and you frown, “Did I wake you?” he grabs your wrist and you don't say anything waiting for him to speak. “Nah, was waiting for you to come back.” you huff out a soft laugh, “Didn't think you’d be so needy.” Wolfwood drops your wrist and turns on his side his back facing him as you laugh. Getting into the bed fully you turn on your side so you're facing his back. You wrap your arms around him resting your forehead between his shoulder blades, you feel him tense and then sigh. 

“You're going to get sick.” he says, but his hands grip yours that are resting on his stomach, your smile widens, “Oh? I thought you said you weren't sick and besides I promised we could cuddle.” You’re sure he's blushing now, he could be so smooth when he flirts with you, but once you turn the tables, he turners into a mess, especially in his more weakened state.

“You’re taking advantage of me.” he's coughing again but you still hear the playfulness in his tone, you hold him to you tighter as you roll your eyes, “You wish, you’re lucky I'm not forcing you to take any more medicine if you don't try to sleep I will”  

“Your being mean.” such a baby, “Nico…” your tone holds a warning in it, and he must understand the threat in your tone because he gives in with a huff. “Fine, but only for an hour.” You place a kiss between his shoulder blades, you don't know if he can feel it, but you don't care the meaning is there. “Sure, just an hour.” You agree, knowing damn well that once he falls asleep you will not be waking him up. He may like to act like he was the invincible Punisher, but in soft moments like this he was just your Nico and you were more than happy to be taking care of him.