#With those arms he ain’t winning 😔

[sleepy-spacetronaut]

Bill Cipher (human form) full-body

TW: Partial nudity.

Start note: Wooh! I finished with this, finally ! This is like the one time I’m drawing this guy in boxers only. So fear not, Bill Cipher has not chosen the path of utter decadence (it’s alright guys, he just needs his bow tie). I wanted to add cipher text too but considering the size of my drawings, let’s just pretend he’s got some more tattoos with glow in the dark ink. Nothing much to say except that Bill is now a scrawny little guy (with a ginormous ego, lots of sass but not much ass) who trips over his own feet. He might have two eyes now, but his depth perception still sucks.

Quick list of body markings and how he got them:

-burn scars: this occurred when he spawned in a human vessel, gaining a physical form was an increasingly painful process of his body getting twisted and reshaped in flames.

-shatter scars: a wink to the blue scar he got from getting punched in the eye in Stanley’s mindscape. Each time he abuses of his powers, new (temporary) cracks may rip and spread over his body. The only permanent one is on his face.

-brick tattoo pattern : to replicate the brick pattern on his triangular form.

-eye tattoos (x4) :two open on each shoulder, and two closed, one on the clavicle and another the upper back. Acquired them during his transmutation.

-star markings on chest: acquired them during his transmutation. (Yes, we can say it’s some badass top surgery scars)

-ankh tattoo on right forearm: Ankh, in Egyptian mythology, is a symbol for life. Bill drew it on his forearm back at the Theraprism with washable markers but it stuck to him when he acquired a human shell.

-triangle-shaped spot on the neck: this is more of a ‘birthmark’, it appeared when he lost his triangular form. Additionally , in alchemy triangles represent fire…so…👀 -summoning wheel on the back: I….just thought it would make sense for him to have his summoning circle printed on his back. I’ve seen people integrate it in his design in the past. “Made in china” sticker core, I don’t know.

-black line tattoos on wrists: they represent a continuity and the additional chain tattoo (which is barely visible on the picture but it’s there!) on his left wrist is there as a seal for the covenant between him, Soos, and the Axolotl. It’s a reminder that he is regulated by a strict set of rules, one of which is not to leave the premises of Gravity Falls until he is deemed fully reformed.

End note: now this would be interesting to unpack the whole concept when I write the fic. (hopefully my hyperfixation won’t go away by December, otherwise good bye fic idea 😔)

[paulinawoodpecker]

Lukas and the teenagers stand up to the impossible three and the mean queen bees

@jakkiisthatboy2

The villains: *enters*

All teenagers: *murmuring*

Kevin: who are those people?

Christopher: I don’t know…

Flora: Roger? Why are they coming to us?

Roger: I don’t know…

Max: do any of you know this guy?

All teenagers: TAD?!

Jack: of course!

Jessie: who in the world are y’all?

Snowy: what do you want from us?

Max: tell us where they are…

Minnie: no!…who?

Jack: the triple team and Reena of course!

Flora: Reena is our friend! And we are not going to fall into your trap! Are we guys?

All teenagers: yah!

Tiffany: then how would you explain the mean queen bees are back!

All teenagers: *gasps*

Kelsey: you!

Nagham: what have you done to Reena!

Blair: easy Miss Hugh.

Blair: all we need to do is collect your sadness…

Ying: so we can hurt people’s feelings and steal theirs too.

All teenagers: *disagree with them*

Chai: wait a minute! You have a nice wedding ring.

Chai: who are you married to?

All teenagers: OOOOH!!

Andrea: it’s not that big of a deal. He doesn’t feel like it. He never wants to talk about it just like his son.

Tiffany: well you don’t have to tell him his life story either…

Tiffany: anyways not that it matters, it turns out that we food poisoned him.

Jessie: so that’s why he was feeling sick in my tracker!

Flora: we won’t let you get away from this!

Tiffany: and how are you going to do that? Drown me with all of your tears?

Roger: ugh!

Roger: what did you say to my girlfriend?!

Flora: Roger no…it’s not a big deal…it’s not what she wants…

Lukas: *enters and noticed*

Blair: *whispers to Tiffany* now!

Tiffany: *rubs her cheeks hard* ow! Flora slapped me!

Flora: what no! I was standing there all this time! Right Lukas?

Lukas: …

Minnie: Tiffany’s lying!

All teenagers: *tells Lukas the truth*

Tiffany: you see? They’re all attacking me! They have no right to hurt our feelings!

Jessie: actually! We do!

Jessie: why can’t you be like the rest of us! You gotta learn how to be a better person. You ain’t got any other way to get out of here!

Jessie: we’re ain’t trusting you. We ain’t trusting you!

All teenagers: *agrees with jessie*

Pickles: *defends tiffany*

Kenny: 😨

Kenny: I’m sorry Mr P.

Kenny: you’re fired from the CIA…

Pickles: …

Pickles: what?

Christopher: you joined Tiffany’s side.

Christopher: you’re a CIA agent, remember?

Pickles: …

Pickles: whatever. These rules aren’t meant to be real…

Kevin: they were real when I wore a jacket…

Pickles: yeah because your jacket was DISGUSTING!

Kevin: 😨

Roger: YOURE FIRED FROM THE CIA!!!

Kevin: 😨😔

Pickles: 😠

Pickles: Tiffany and I…were helping her win the war…

Kenny: what do you think Lukas?

Lukas: *looks at his dad; crosses his arms and legs*

Lukas: I am sorry dad…

Lukas: rules are rules…

Pickles: 😠

Pickles: fine!

The villains: *looks at the other teenagers murmuring*

Tiffany: make fun of us if you want losers, it’ll last longer…

All teenagers: *boos loudly at them as they left*

Jessie: thank you Lukas…

Lukas: wait guys!

Lukas: Reena and tad need our help! We can all support them! Reena is the president and the hero we all need! She needs her boyfriend and her friends!

Lukas: so let’s help the triple team and the gang together!

Lukas: WHOS WITH ME!!

All teenagers: *cheers and agrees with lukas*

Lukas: now let’s prepare sweet revenge ladies and gentlemen!

All teenagers: *chants ‘revenge!’*

[storiumemporium]

I'VE ARRIVED AS LATE AS STARGIRL'S PERIOD BUT I'M HERE

LETS GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD I HAVE MY IMAGINARY VODKA AT THE READY

“This deformed bastard wanted to skip you.”

Damn, even in a whole other universe Jace ain’t escaping the bastardphobia 😔 #justiceformutuallyagreeduponinfidelity2k23

“I told you,” Jace moans. His speech is garbled and lisping, his face comically swollen, bruised yellow-emerald-indigo and drooling blood, stitches above his left eyebrow. He just had his dental implants placed yesterday; the four teeth that he lost at Club Camelot could not be readily located for reattachment. “I can’t keep track of who’s next. I’m on like four different opiates.”

God DAMN Aemond you went to TOWN on his ass. Jace is walkin’ around looking like one of those puppies that tries to eat a bee 😭

Aegon is snickering, though not in a mean way, never in a mean way. Aemond is watching you. He does this constantly; you can feel his eyes—river water, otherworldly atmosphere—on you all the time, you can see him on the periphery of your vision. But when you glance at Aemond, he looks away.

I love you Aeg my bb, but between your gigglefits and the man STALKERWATCHING me and the possible pregnancy I think I’d pull a Mario and try to flush myself down the cup like it’s a magical green pipe to a mystical land.

Aemond is staring a little extra hard today.

Not hard enough to talk to me tho, you shitbucket 😭

Jace putts next. He misses the ball twice. On the third try, he hits it into a nearby pond. Golden koi fish scatter beneath the rippling sheen of the water.

Listen I don’t care for him but… I can give him some grace (or even some credit) that he’s managing to strike that shit third attempt when he’s higher than willy wonka 😭😭😭

“Get your own account,” Aemond snaps at Aegon. “I think you can afford it.” “Bruh, that’s not the point! I don’t know where I left off in Grey’s Anatomy!”

I’m just saying the most accurate sibling dynamic would be their only fistfight being over netflix and not like… horrific unresolved childhood trauma

You can only feel the weight of Aemond’s half-fascinated, half-resentful gaze on you.

Listen, as a disabled person myself when I say I’m about to exploit a weakness to beat this lanky man’s ass—

You steal a glimpse of Aemond—black shirt and black sunglasses, white shorts, Adidas sneakers—and he turns away, pretending to pick dirt off his golf ball.

Nevermind he’s too fucking stunted for me to do it. Actually thirteen years old 😭

“Watch it, cyclops.” Jace points to his own stitches, bruises, surgically replaced teeth. “I let you have this one. Now we’re even. But next time I won’t be so charitable.” “You’re not even,” Aegon tells Jace, abruptly severe. He whips off his aviator sunglasses, crouches over Jace, glaring and thunderous like a storm. Baela observes this warily. “Not even close.” Jace is intrigued. “No?” “No. Your face will heal.” Then Aegon pokes him in the jaw and Jace screams, tears slithering down his puffy, mottled cheeks. Cregan yanks Aegon away before Baela can scratch his eyes out. Criston repossesses Aegon’s blue raspberry Slush Puppie as punishment. Luke wins the game, five under par.

Many thoughts, so many thoughts.

1. Jace stays belonging w Shelby, they can be united shitheads.

2. Uh… Aegon being a vindictive shit should not be… as hot as it is.

3. The emotional complexity that I have absolutely no doubts that Aegon blames himself for what happened to Aemond, but it’s easier to lash out at Jace around every turn than to apologize for his part in it.

Now Criston watches Jace with his arms crossed over his chest, his dark eyes wounded and anxious, his shoulders slumped beneath the weight of what he believes is failure.

Criston you are literally like. Among the only functional people in this entire group. And their families. You’re doing fine babygirl 😭

A tattoo artist is inking a goldfinch, New Jersey’s state bird, to the top of Jace’s right foot.

He uh… He gon’ wake up one week and freak out over a tattoo he doesn’t remember getting? I mean more than usual considering all the drugs he does 😭

Aegon is typing WhatsApp messages—mostly emojis, from what you can see—to Miley Cyrus.

So Aegon both dresses and sends messages the way I do 😭 time for us to get friends with advanced benefits’d and communicate via modern hieroglyphics

because sooner or later your time with Comet will be over and you’ll only ever hear him again through Spotify songs and YouTube clips from before the accident

Please I’m not ready to lose these gaudy bitches 😭 I love my disaster family

You’re wearing a short seafoam green dress, gold earrings and sandals, and an eerily vacuous expression.

ROM THE VACUOUS SPIDER APPROACHES— ahem, I mean-

Girlie you were supposed to be coming here to help them not to end up needing the help 😭😭😭

One of the elevators dings and opens. A man lumbers out, towering, broad, monstrous. You gape up at him: brown threadbare coat, heavy boots, unruly dark beard, grey eyes like a bleak winter sky. There is a miasma that colors the air around him with smoke and alcohol, sweat and earth.

He one of them “public transport hazard” type ass people, huh?

He smiles: sharp canine teeth yellowed by nicotine, glinting eyes like silver coins. “Cregan Stark.”

I appreciate the lupine vibes that daddy Stark gives off. Sells the “Stark” thing without having to be overt with it.

His eyes go wide. The blood drains from his face. And Cregan—immovable, inscrutable, unflappable Cregan—shrinks until he is a child again.

Cregan I’m so sorry bb 😭

You can’t stop him. How could you stop him? Faster than you can think, he has crossed the space between you and entombed Cregan in a stifling embrace. Cregan stands paralyzed, his eyes shifting, searching for escape. Tentatively, appeasingly, his hands slowly rise to hug the man in return.

I’M SORRY BB

He pushes between Cregan and the giant, terrifying, wrathful. The man dwarfs him. Criston doesn’t seem to know it.

GO CRISTON GO! WHERE ARE MY FUCKING POMPOMS—

You try to apologize to Cregan, but he isn’t listening to you. He’s listening to Aemond. Aemond is speaking to him, low and calm, too quietly for you to hear. “I’m okay,” Cregan says unsteadily. “I’m fine.” “It’s alright if you’re not,” Aemond tells him.

Of course you’re gonna give the patience to others that you won’t yourself you lovable fucking DUMBASS—

But also Cregan bb I’m so sorry I love you you deserve the best out of all of these boys 😭

Aegon replies as he kicks off his Crocs: “Did I ask, succubus?” He crawls into the bed, throws an arm casually across your waist, rests his head on your belly as your fingers thread through his chaotic blond hair, fond and tender.

I love you, you dramatic, colorful bitch 😭

He burrows into you, into your softness and your warmth and your truth and your mysteries. Sometimes you feel like you’ll give until he falls into you like a trapdoor, the bones of his hands tangling around your spine, his blood vessels spilling into all of your rage-scarlet cavities, hollows of the flesh, hollows of the soul. “You’re sad.”

So. Once again. Might I go on a THESIS ABOUT HOW GOOD YOU ARE WITH WORDS??? HUH??? ABSOLUTELY FUCKING PHENOMENAL AND EVOCATIVE??? HOW IT’S SO EXPRESSIVE BUT NOT OVERLY VERBOSE?????? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA??????????????????

Aegon doesn’t argue with you, doesn’t try to defend himself, doesn’t make promises both of you know he could never keep. He only lays his head down on your belly again and pulls himself closer to you, closer, closer, melting into your melancholy, dissolving into dreams.

“I was eleven when he broke my arm. Thirteen when he cracked my skull for the first time. Then I got big enough to hurt him back.”

Man the others been dealing with neglect (mood) and this guy has been FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE 😭 Cregan please I’m so sorry you got stuck with diva’s you deserve a small loan of a billion dollars and an immediate retirement.

Your words are soft like a whisper, like gentle hands. “Cregan, I’m so sorry.”

BACK TO MY THESIS—

“I’ll give it a try. If you recommend it.” Cregan lights a cigarette and takes a drag. Criston glances over and then pretends he didn’t notice. “I have a daughter,” Cregan says; and you can’t stop the shock from hitting your face like a fist. He smiles faintly, wistfully.

I’m gonna simp—

You gesture to the crashing waves and say to Cregan: “If Aegon gets attacked by a shark, will you jump in and punch it or something please?” Cregan chuckles. “Yeah. That’s my main job here, I think. Stopping people from dying.” And then, seriously: “Thank you.” “Don’t thank me. I haven’t done anything that warrants it.” “No. Really.” Cregan reaches out, takes your uninjured hand, squeezes it briefly before releasing you. “Thank you, Stargirl.” Then he stands and walks to the water’s edge, letting the surf rush up over his ankles, for just a moment feeling nothing on his shoulders but the sunlight.

The way I want nothing but the best for this man and his shark punching, bear wrestling, wolf wrangling ways—

When Aemond speaks, there is perhaps a hint of envy, green like leaves of poison, gleaming like snakeskin. “What were you and Cregan talking about?”

AS IF YOU HAVE THE RIGHT MY GOOD BITCH—

“Freddie was very, very unplanned. The mother was a nobody, a rebound. And a lot of people assumed she did it on purpose to try to keep Louis. Or to get eighteen years of a luxury lifestyle out of him. Or to just get fame in general. Personally, I believe it was all of the above.”

It’s the balcony all over again I’m going to commit minecraft 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

And the look that crosses Aemond’s face, the look: caustic, incredulous, night-dark, self-loathing. “Are you insane? Have you met me? I terrify kids. And I should, but not just because of the eye and the scar. What the hell do I know about being a decent father? What do I know about being a decent anything? I’d have no idea where to start. I’d fuck it up even if I tried desperately not to. I’d end up with kids like Aegon: addicts who hate themselves, people who are irrevocably lost.”

“They love who I was,” Aemond says. “Not who I am now. And that’s easy to do. They don’t have to look at me.”

(black fringe bangs intensifying)

“How the hell would I know? Probably.” He holds up a pair of red, white, and blue bikini bottoms that say Firecracker across the ass. “You think my dad would mind if you sent her these?” Criston is blushing. “Aegon, stop.” “You could get her a bikini top too. Oh look, that one over there is red, it matches. And it says MILF across the tits. So that’s pertinent.” “Stop!” Criston cries, distressed, and flees the store.

Aegon I think you just committed a war crime against your totally-not-father.

At the ordering counter, Jace—slightly less bruised and swollen today, and thus in better spirits—taunts Aegon: “Are you sure you need all that bread? You’re going to be wearing a muumuu on stage by the time we get to the Midwest.” “You know, just because you said that, now I’m going to get two hoagies…”

GOOD FOR YOU BABY EAT AS MUCH AS YOU WANT YOU’RE FUCKING BEAUTIFUL 😭

It’s surprisingly difficult to piss on a tiny stick of doom,

Mood, bbgirl 😭

“Good luck with that, Malibu Barbie. Nobody even knows I exist.” “Stay away from Aemond,” she says again, trembling with her futile bleach-blond rage. “We’re meant to be together. We have so much history.” “And yet no future.” You smile sweetly, breeze past her, step on one of her perfectly pedicured feet with a thoroughly unpretentious flip flop. By the time you return to them, the band is almost ready to leave Wawa.

GOD YOU KNOW THAT FELT GOOD. THE ABSOLUTE MIC DROP— but this is definitely not going to end here, something bad is gonna come of it I just know.

You’re not hungry, but Aegon coaxes you into taking a few bites from his hoagie.

Babygirl I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

He’s singing something very quietly, so quietly it takes you a while to recognize it. It’s not even a Comet Donati song. It’s Through The Dark.

Babygirl you make me wanna cry,,,,,,,,,,

“What am I going to do?” you whisper, scalding tears brimming in your eyes, shivering hands settling on your belly. In a few months, you’ll be showing. “What the hell am I going to do?”

Something delightfully dramatic, I have no doubts 😌

God everything is reaching it's PEAK OF CHAOS AND SUFFERING RIGHT NOW AND I'M LIVING BUT ALSO SUFFERING FOR IT. IT'S PHENOMENAL.

Comet Donati [Chapter 7: Heart Attack]

A/N: Hello all! Only 3 chapters left!!! 🥰 Thank you so much for loving this fic and giving all my eccentric AU ideas a chance. I’m currently in Washington DC visiting one of my best friends, so if I’m a little bit tardy replying to your comments/messages then that’s why. Don’t fear!! I will check in as soon as I can, and I am still amazed by and will forever cherish your support. 💜

Series Summary: Sex, drugs, boy bands. You are a kinda-therapist recruited (via nepotism) to help Comet Donati through a recent crisis. Things are casual with Aegon, very not-casual with Aemond. Loosely inspired by One Direction.

Chapter Warnings: Language, references to sexual content (+18), drugs, alcohol, smoking, Shelby being a bigger plague than the locusts of Egypt, mental health struggles, references to violence and abuse, New Jersey, pregnancy, mini golf, lots of content for the Cregan girlies.

Selected Chapter Quote: “We’re meant to be together. We have so much history.”

Word count: 6.2k.

Link to chapter list (and all my writing): HERE.

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You type into Google as you hide in the public bathroom stall, pink tile walls and mint green porcelain, very 1950s, phantom drips of water and humming florescent lights: Can Plan B make your period late?

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