#WillTradeEpicOralForHomemadePasta

[deanssexplorations]

Pasta Threesome

This is the follow on to the Connecting People entry, and tells how I lost a FWB because I was just too enthusiastic about spreading the joy, or at least that was the triggering factor. I have to smile a bit at that actually, because she isn’t the only one. My own daughter once told me that I was just “too encouraging” when I was coaching one of her school activities. True story! And there I was, thinking that was one of my charms!

But we’ll get to that in a bit. The events in this story happen after the So Many Firsts entry, which starred my friends Heather and Maria, and described how I convinced Maria to join me and Heather at a sex club and a number of the antics that ensued there.

What I left out of that story were the details of my meeting Maria. We had connected on OK Cupid many months before, but only reached out to say hello much later when she was getting out of a relationship. When I refreshed myself on her profile, I saw that it now simply read:

“Will exchange epic oral for homemade pasta.”

Nice.

Who doesn’t love homemade pasta? And while I figured the “epic” oral bar was a pretty high standard, I thought I was up to the task. Or at least I’d give it a try. Looking to match her playfulness, I told her not only that I thought I could deliver the goods, but that I could even provide a reference. She (also playfully) bit, so I reached out to Heather (who provided a stellar reference, for the record), and the three of us got to texting. Which led to the invitation to Twist. And to so, so many firsts.

That night as we were leaving Twist, we agreed that was missing was the homemade pasta, and we made a date in a couple of weeks to right that wrong. But as we approaching the date, Maria threw me a twist (see what I did there?) by informing me that it was I who had been on the hook to make the pasta all along, and she was the one offering the epic oral. Cute. Fortunately homemade pasta has been in my seduction arsenal since my 20s, so I gathered up some flour, eggs, olive oil, peppers, olives, capers, and sun-dried tomatoes and Heather and I headed to Maria’s.

After a glass of wine and a tour of Maria’s backyard fireplace we decided it was time for the pasta making to begin. I cracked some eggs and began beating them into the flour while Maria perched across the kitchen island and enjoyed the show. At that point Heather decided she was overdressed and removed her, well, dress.

Down to her lingerie, Heather felt that I too was overdressed and took off my shirt, t shirt, and eventually shoes, socks, and pants. This all while I was still mixing and kneading the pasta. Heather looked at me hungrily and announced she was going to suck my cock. She went down on me while I, not missing a beat, continued rolling and cutting the pasta. I did have to pony up for that promised epic oral after all. Unable to resist herself, Maria grabbed my phone and began snapping and filming away at the spectacle.

(The pictures are crazy fun. But to put them here I’d have to crop them down to almost nothing. Who knows, I may just put them on my Twitter account.)

I managed to stay on task despite the distractions, which Maria thought was hilarious, and while the pasta dried Maria decided she needed to join the fun. Heather and I removed her clothes, then the two of them went to town on my cock, Heather deep throating my shaft as Maria took each testicle in her mouth. The pictures and videos I took of that session are also pretty fun.

Somehow the pasta made it to the boiling water and I assigned everyone chopping duties for the sauce. Maria had made a salad and Heather brought some bread, and a few minutes later we were enjoying our lovely homemade pasta at Maria’s dining room table - all three completely naked of course.

From there we migrated to Maria’s couch and engaged in some amazing three-way sex. My favorite picture from that night was taken by Heather, looking down her torso at me laying spread eagle on the couch, peeking out from behind Maria’s prodigious bosom. It’s ridiculously not safe for Tumblr. Oh well. If you know me IRL, ask me about it. Then again, if you know me IRL there’s a good chance you’ve seen it already...

After that we went into Maria’s bedroom and had yet more amazing sex, the highlight of which was Heather fisting Maria, something she (Heather) was dying to do after watching me do it to Maria at Twist. And I guess the other ridiculously sexy thing was Maria sucking my cock to coax my second orgasm of the evening, then making sure I was watching as she orally exchanged semen with Heather, porn-star style.

I gotta hand it to Maria. She’s no amateur.

It was an amazing, delicious night all around and we once again made plans to do it again soon. For a week or two I was thinking the two of them could anchor another MFFF(F?) party in the near future.

I kind of wish I had written this blog entry immediately after the date. It certainly would have had a lot more detail, and it would have been written with a great deal more enthusiasm and joy. I am guessing you can tell, but I write this entry with mixed emotions. (I’d be curious to know if you can.)

The reason for the mixed emotions is that a week or two after the pasta threesome date, Maria and I had a falling out, and she decided to cut off communications with me. The triggering event for that was a text exchange (between the three of us), in which I was attempting to recommend something to address her current state of horniness.

As I mentioned, Maria had broken up with her boyfriend just before meeting me and Heather, and for weeks she had been complaining to us that there were so few guys in her life whom she wanted to fuck, and how horny she was. Heather had a friend who was dying to do an MFF threesome and had recommended it to Maria, but Maria had declined. Given how close Heather and her friend were at the time, it puzzled Heather and me that Maria would turn it down, but it was her body and her choice, so we respected it.

But one evening, after texting with Heather about the guy who was still hoping for a threesome, I brought it up with Maria again. She was mildly annoyed at first, but when I tried to explain my motivations I made some poor word choices, which seemed to be triggers for Maria and she reacted badly. Things went south pretty quickly from there, and despite my best efforts to apologize and explain my (in my mind) altruistically-inclined motivations, she continued to bridle and eventually just cut off me and - heartbreakingly - Heather, entirely.

Honestly, I’m not really sure what to do with all of that. On the one hand, my liaisons are casual in nature in one way, shape, or form, and there’s always been an easy come, easy go aspect to them. And I have plenty of friends and sex in my life. So it’s not like I suddenly have a dearth of sex with Maria gone from the picture.

On the other hand, I feel pretty terrible about how everything transpired and even worse about hurting Maria’s feelings. I knew from the get-go that she had issues with men and trust (she told me/us so from the beginning), but I always expected to be that “safe place” man she would feel comfortable around. I like to think I’m different from all the other guys. But who knows, maybe on some level I’m just as lecherous as all the rest.

Okay, fair point. On some level I’m more lecherous than the rest.

So there you have it. A budding young relationship nipped in the, er, bud, and the thing that started it all was my pushing, a little too hard in this case, to bring two friends together. With no material benefit to myself whatsoever.

Perhaps my daughter is right. Maybe I am a little too encouraging.

Then again, just today I worked to set up a new FWB in Chicago with a couple I met there online. A guy who reached out to me from NYC may go out with one of my Bay Area friends this weekend. And I recently put a guy I met online in the Boston area in touch with one of my FWBs there.

Guess I’ll never learn!