#Why do I think Diego and Lila's relationship was toxic?

[fivelila]

Why do I think Diego and Lila's relationship was toxic? (Part 3)

I promised to continue these posts, so here we go…

Part 1 & Part 2

Season 3

Lila unexpectedly returns to the scene, shocking Diego with the revelation of "their son," Stanley, whom she hands it over to him to take care of him before leaving to handle her own business. She later comes back, only to almost immediately leave again with Five to deal with the strange events unfolding.

She also tells Diego that it's over between them, that she hasn’t seen him in ten years, and that she has slept with many other people in the meantime. In reality, for her, it had only been a few days. As for the truth behind her other words—well, that's up to you to decide...

When Lila and Five return, Lila immediately starts treating Diego differently. Maybe it’s because of Five’s little nudge when he told her that Diego probably truly loves her, but also because another apocalypse is approaching, and time is precious.

Diego is confused by her sudden change in behavior, but he doesn’t resist for long before slipping back into old times with her…

Waking up is not so pleasant when they discover that Stanley has disappeared somewhere and they have to go looking for him in an unknown part of the hotel where they think he has escaped.

Diego finds out another shocking thing, that Lila lied to him and Stanley is not their son, but the son of her friend. Diego is understandably upset that she lied to him about something like this.

And should I mention that their joint action, just the two of them, ended with Diego losing two fingers?

Lila later reveals to him the reasons why she made something like that up and admits that she is actually pregnant with his child. She’s scared but wants them to try being a family. Lila tells him that she thinks he'll be a good father after seeing him with Stanley. Diego asks for time to think about it.

Meanwhile, the situation with the approaching apocalypse escalates.

Later, he gives her back her bracelet and tells her that he chooses her and wants to give them another chance. Apparently, despite all the lies, duty to the child was a priority for him.

At Luther and Sloane's wedding, Lila watches them and remarks that they are just like them. Diego disagrees, so Lila slaps him, to which he responds that this is more like them.

A pretty clear nod to the fact that romance isn't something Diego feels he needs in his life, while Lila’s expression suggests that she probably does. (This will be important later for S4.)

A new mission is about to begin and Diego immediately switches into hero mode and Lila goes a bit on the sidelines. Let's face it, this doesn't seem like ideal behavior towards a pregnant partner, even if Lila isn't made of sugar, her surprised expression says it all.

Diego wants Lila to stay safe for the sake of their baby. But she wants to go like everyone else and Lila doesn't like him making decisions for her.

- Look, Diego, you said you choose me, right? Well, this is who I am. I'm a fighter. Just like you. - I only said that because I thought you'd be nice to me. - If you wanted nice, you'd be with someone else.

Short scene, but interesting. Lila doesn't want to show her true emotions and fears in front of Diego, which she tells him later. She also doesn't want anyone else in the family to know about her pregnancy.

Lila and Diego go into danger together. Lila apparently has no problem taking care of herself, but Diego again makes the decision for her when he wants to protect her by locking her in the hotel's operations room (or whatever it is). Lila has to take care of herself later anyway in order to rejoin the group.

Diego may like it a little spicy, but I still think Lila often compensates for her fluster over the situation with her slaps.

So what do we have here:

lies (again), communication issues, incompatible expectations, and the desire to decide what’s best for the other person.

Honestly, I get Diego’s point—he's worried about their child (which is fair)—but it's also a sign that he believes he knows what’s best for Lila and that he can make decisions for her without her consent, which is definitely not okay.

It's also very clear that their glue is the child—whether it's Stanley or later their actual baby.

Diego has no problem having fun with Lila (sexually) but often very clearly hesitates if she's the ideal woman for life - but after all, no one can blame him for that because Lila has lied to him a lot and no healthy relationship can be based on there being so much deception. Still, I think he wants to be a good father to their child.

But... The apocalypse has been averted (for now), and Lila and Diego walk off into the sunset. Or not?

Analysis of Season 4 coming soon.

[normal-thoughts-official]

That description is pretty good! I'd just put the phrases taken directly from the meme between quotation marks, otherwise it's great. If you want me to help you write descriptions I'd be happy to! And there's the accessibility server on discord where you can ask questions and ask other people to describe images for you as well

Yes 😔 in my defense, my choices app apparently has a bug where I get a new key every 30min instead of every 2 hours, so playing became a lot quicker. Also I'm insane

There are more differences than I thought there would be! Like, when you're officially dating someone, there are lots of little tender details like ur LI kissing you before going separate ways, hugging you, etc. If you're not dating anyone sometimes they just erase those moments and other times it gets replaced with Diego doing some platonic equivalent, which I thought was pretty nice. Honestly I kind of enjoyed these moments More, like I love LIs as much as the next guy but the platonic bond between them is so important to me and it was really nice to see it prioritized. But yeah, doesn't get as much money

I didn't romance jake, my evil cis white woman doppelganger named bad taste bitch romanced jake. But yeah. I know that he talks more about Mike in the diamond scenes and I wanted to see gayboy pine. I still don't particularly like him but it was interesting to find out the Forbidden Knowledge. I did pay the price in the form of having to see his saggy tits tho. Also WHY IS JAKE THE ONLY LI THAT GETS TO BE KINKY. I WANT A REFUND. I AM MARCHING TO CHOICES HQ AS WE SPEAK

And yeah that's fair, honestly there were many times where I had to close my eyes before pressing the mean option. Especially the "that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard" thing u tell Raj when he tells you about his grandma and cooking. Like bro :( but it was also fun to see sides of the characters I hadn't seen before, and see what happens when I picked those choices. If you pick that one, for example, you get it confirmed that Raj speaks Hindi, so that's pretty cool I think

Also replied

That is fair, I don't think anyone Should romance him, just that he's objectively the most complex, best written one. So long as people aren't sleeping on him it's all good to me

ABSOLUTELY YES. God they are so in love with each other it's insane. Dunno why Choices invented Kele to be Quinn's weird LI when they could have just made Quinnchelle canon

Yes!!! All the relationships are great and interesting and well written and I really like all of them and the subtle differences depending on your choices. It's super cool. They're a family 🥹🥹 it's literally so beautiful to see how much they grow and care for each other

LILA AND ALEISTER FUCKED ON NEW YEARS

udhdidjdid thank you, it also took me many replays to realize that so im glad u thought it was interesting

YES. Like it's so funny because they're NOT toxic masculinity, especially not Sean, and Sean is like openly bisexual anyway since he's dating MC and he's nothing if not sweet and tender to him, but they are still Like This about each other. I figure it's mostly Craig trying to cover up his crush but it's sooooo embarrassing for them

shaking you by the neck. WRITE THAT FIC. please. please i need that fic so bad. please ill do anything. please please please please please please please it sounds so good i need it pleaseeeeee

no but actually for real i love the idea of craig like... slowly growing more comfortable around his crush, going from the crushing self doubt and inferiority complex to becoming more confident and comfortable loving sean, aaaaaaaa. And I think sean needs it too, you know, to be loved as an equal, to be loved without wanting to destroy himself and without the other wanting it either, to care and be cared for? Like Sean is king of martyrdom but Craig also died for him at least once and he's so ride or die for him. And it's nice to have someone at his back, you know? And just like Craig slowly growing more comfortable with himself so he grows more comfortable with his feelings for Sean, not in an "internalized homophobia" way cuz I don't think its about that, but in a "my love isn't a burden" sort of way

like AGHHHH they make me crazy!!!! And I think their journey towards finding each other would be so beautiful and interesting because they both have a lot of personal growing to do before they are able to be together but they'd do it together like always and their bond is just so beautiful regardless of relationship status

with that being said the idea that sean thought they were already dating is Hilarious. that trope works super well with them cuz sean was always, like, sweet and caring so not much changed on his part, and craig has his weird fratbro declarations of undying gay love thing going on, so it'd make SENSE that he'd just be like "yeah our dynamic hasn't changed but we are dating now". meanwhile craig has no idea

(god i just love craig so much too. i just. gently holds him. thank you for taking care of sean when I'm not around. but also stop pulling a sean for sean. ily. love yourself NOW)

9. UDHDIDNDI I DID NOT MEAN IT IN A HORNY WAY, EW LOWKEY. She's a lesbian, it would just feel weird to be horny for her. I just mean that she's really, really funny, and although I love how quickly she becomes ride or die for MC if she likes them, the fact that she holds that tightly to a petty grudge in the middle of the apocalypse just makes her hilariously delightful. Whether loving or hating that girl has NO chill, she's always at 100, and she acts on it on every opportunity. Like it's lowkey sad because it's probably because of her desperate need to be loved, so she latches onto people she likes and gives them her all, versus expecting people not to love her and so resenting them very deeply for it. And needing to lash out at every opportunity because she didn't get to when it mattered. This turned out sadder than I intended rip. IDK she's just interesting and like I said it was nice to see those sides of the characters I hadn't seen before

10. I do too! It was genuinely painful to be mean to him. He is so easygoing like you have to be actively mean to lose points with him and even then you don't lose many. Raj ily

11. Don't be silly. You are those friends now. You're getting subjected to my opinions whether you like it or not /hj

OMG CHILENON HIIIIIII

I missed you!! It might be a hot second before I finish replying (you probably know that by now) but I just wanted to let u know that I'm happy to hear from you in case you're anxious daiuhdsauidha

BTW if you'd rather I answer your ask privately you can let me know. I'm not sure if I should dauhaidsa

[bisexualmultifandommess]

Ouuu spill the tea! Why don’t you like Lila and her relationship with Diego?

Hi! Thanks for ask! Sorry this might be a long one lol

At first I actually liked her a bit because I thought she’d be a sort of funny anti hero and I thought her fighting scenes were pretty cool but then when her and Diego slept together I was a bit annoyed because I felt it wasn’t really needed (I’m sure he was in the 60s the shortest amount of time so not long had passed since Eudora’s death) but then when it was revealed she was working with the Handler and I was like “Oh cool she’s a villain! Maybe this is all a lie and she’ll be become an interesting anti villain”

The thing that started to put me off was that her relationship with Diego is very toxic and manipulative and was built on a lie. Diego can be a very vulnerable person despite his tough guy persona and she was definitely using that. The scene where she drugged Diego and took him to the Commission wasn’t great to me because he showed that he didn’t like that but then later just fell in love anyway. They bicker a lot, which I can find boring in a relationship if that’s all they do and the whole Stanley thing was so weird to me because Diego didn’t deserve that she just confused him. I also feel like the baby storyline wasn’t needed. I felt so bad for Diego when she revealed Stan wasn’t actually his (I don’t really know how he thought he was but 🤷‍♂️) and he got angry and started to stutter. That’s just not something you do to a person no matter your intentions it’s messed up.

Personally I think it would’ve been better if she was kept as an anti villain. They could’ve kept her as someone on the opposing side who works against them and is snarky but when things get really dire she will help them.

Her keeping her sarcastic and sometimes mean persona but being one of the good guys now just puts me off of her because she just seems awful. If she had those personality traits as a villain and then occasionally showed a nicer side when helping her enemies in bad situations it would be better. I would’ve found her a lot more interesting because what I found fun and interesting about her first went away when she started getting more annoying and her relationship with Diego became more real instead of something they joked about. I just think that she didn’t have to be a love interest and would’ve been cool as a badass anti villain. I wouldn’t even mind if she and Diego flirted sometimes (even though I hate the ship) as long as it remained that she was a villain because sometimes it’s fun and interesting to have a hero and villain flirt but never actually want anything to come of it.

Also a lot of her scenes this season were with Diego and that was just so tiring to me lol since I don’t like their ship 😂

[merrilark]

Give me your unpopular opinion about TUA 😘😘

sleepover weekend!

Besides loving Allison’s arc in S3, which I think I’ve already rambled too much about on this blog LOL, IIIIII... think my most unpopular opinion could be that I don’t really care for Di.lil.a, not because I think it’s an unhealthy ship, but because I think it’s a badly written unhealthy ship, and that Al.luth.er is a much better example of a well-written one.

Absolutely no shade to anyone who does ship them, though. I’m definitely someone who believes in the old fandom adage “ship and let ship”, but they’re really just not my cup of tea. I wish they were, because Diego is one of my top favorite characters and I’d really like to enjoy what looks like his romantic endgame.

But circling back to why I don’t like them... I think my biggest thing is that with Allison and Luther, even though some scenes were framed in a romantic light (like the dancing scene in S1), you still knew that it wasn’t a healthy relationship. It was doomed to fail from the start, because it was born out of trauma, and it was clear that we were seeing things mostly through Luther’s rose colored glasses, who still hadn’t fully come to terms with Reginald’s abuse. Allison still had and has complicated feelings surrounding him, we can see that much in S3, but she never really committed and it was plain that Luther was more of a last resort security blanket. It’s psychologically fascinating and despite trying to play it as romantic here and there, the show doesn’t pretend it’s ultimately a good thing.

Diego and Lila don’t really get that.

Obviously an incestuous relationship is a totally different ballpark from two unrelated, troubled souls getting into a messy romance. But in Diego and Lila’s case, it’s still unhealthy, and TUA tends to ignore that.

Lila... has a lot of control issues. She frequently shuts Diego up when he tries to be vulnerable with her or talk about important things, like their relationship, or Stan, or the end of the world. Vulnerability is extremely difficult for Diego, so it’s hard to watch when he tries so hard to be open, and she changes the subject, tries to distract him with sex, or slaps him. It’s also pretty worrying that she goes out of her way to threaten Klaus so he won’t talk to Diego, or that she gives Diego the ultimatum of choosing her or saving the world (and by extension saving his family). It just... rrrrreeeally sets off my alarm bells for “the manipulative, jealous SO who won’t let you have any relationships outside themselves”.

Obviously Lila is as much a victim as Diego. I get that. I know why she acts the way she does. Anyone raised by the Handler would have mountains of issues. And if the show framed it for what it was, I wouldn’t be bothered. Unhealthy, toxic ships can be enthralling! But, unlike with Allu.ther, Di.lila is framed in a very “haha, my messy matches your messy and we have really kinky BDSM sex!” way that bugs me because it’s ignoring that what’s happening between them isn’t good for either of them. Diego is too scared to lose Lila like he lost Patch so he treats her like she’s something soft, and he doesn’t stand up to her as much as he should (which would help them both), and Lila is similarly too scared that he’ll hurt her so she puts him through emotionally manipulative tests and tries to control his decisions.

It could be fascinating to watch, but their bad behavior toward one another is almost always played off as sexy or funny, and in the rare instances when it isn’t, no one learns anything from it. Diego still bends because he has to play hero, Lila still gets her way, and they ignore their problems with another round of sex while the writing tries to convince us that nothing is wrong.

S4 could potentially fix some of this, because I do think they could be a good couple if they were more self-aware and worked through their problems... but I have my doubts. TUA doesn’t do romance well, and with a few rumors flying around that S4 might be shorter than 10 episodes, I’m not very optimistic that they’ll have time to deal with anything other than Reginald and, presumably, getting their powers back.

[kazdoesntknow]

let’s actually talk flaws here, though, because people are shitting on klaus because he doesn’t get enough hate. kinda sad. but let’s also go in reverse order, because it’s fun that way.

the fandom actively lifts up vanya and treats her like a queen because “queen shit! she ended the world!” like no. that’s not okay, that’s not healthy. yes, she was isolated and torn apart and treated like shit, but trauma doesn’t validate your actions. it doesn’t. yes, she is a good character. in fact, i myself like her. but i can sit here and acknowledge the fact that she did a shitty thing that she needs to actually redeem herself for. amnesia is not a redemption arc, it’s skipping it. which is why i like what the comics did. vanya did a bad thing. and that’s just how it is. she did bad. she treated allison like shit when allison tried to be her sister and make up for things. acknowledge her flaws.

ben’s fuckin dead man. he died because of reginald’s bullshit “parenting”. but, again, even dead he violated klaus. repeatedly asking for his body to the point of harassment. that’s shitty. but i still think ben is an awesome character. 

five. do i even need to talk about that? five literally slaughters people. he’s an asshole. fun to see in action as a character, but god, he’s really.... he’s not a great person. respect him for doing everything for his family, but homicidal rage IS a flaw, whether you love five or not. 

klaus! yes. flawed character. he steals things, he does drugs, etc. but consider this: he has a reason for it. you can acknowledge his flaws and not treat him like shit. what, he did drugs because his dad was a piece of shit asshole? yeah. do we want him to get sober and stay that way for the benefits of his health? yes. but don’t hate him because he does drugs. he steals things? yes. but let’s also consider that the things he stole weren’t needed. such as the box. reginald was dead. inheritance. so did he really steal it? who knows. he stole allison’s skirt. allison acknowledged it and was FINE with it. and, allison never wore that skirt, as showed. oh, and we’re going to talk about the convenience store? fine. right after his siblings excluded him. yes, he has flaws, and trauma doesn’t excuse his actions, but you don’t need to bash on him because people like him. get over yourself.

allison. well, that’s a can to crack open. holy fuck. like let’s talk about how she’s selfish to the point where she rumored someone into falling in love with her. let’s also talk about how she rumored her daughter. and how she used that power of hers to get whatever she wanted. and how she hid a very important secret from vanya for years. but that stems from reginald. doesn’t excuse it, but that’s where it comes from. she is manipulative and selfish- and we can go into the fact that she encouraged klaus to day drink. yeah. she enabled an addict. 

diego, love of my life. he has flaws. god, that poor man. he disrespects authority (well, acab. so. i’m not mad about it.), he constantly gets in the way of investigations when he shouldn’t, he is someone who believes he’s right and will shut down luther pretty fast, he’s mean at times, he is quick to anger, and he allows himself to live in defiance of his father. this man was considered less than his entire life. he doesn’t know how to feel- evident with what he tells eudora in season one. this causes issues, and it can affect his life drastically. he has flaws, but you can love him for his flaws, too. 

luther. yeah. that’s just it. luther. he locked vanya up, he does whatever he thinks reginald, an abuser, would want him to do, he constantly acts like he’s the favorite whether that’s intentional or not, he threw five in season two because he didn’t like what five had to say, and so forth. but again, he has trauma. he was raised to be this way. it’s not an excuse, and no one should let it be. but he is a person and people need to respect that. he has flaws, and people can love him as a character. 

lila pitts is a great example of a character that people just let off scotch free because she’s hot. which yeah, ritu arya is hot, but. god i hate lila. she drugs people, manipulates them, kidnaps them, leads them on, lies to them.... do i need to continue? she was in a very toxic relationship with diego. yet you all a) ship that and b) allow her to perform these actions without consequence, but at the same time, you’ll turn around and get pissy because klaus steals things? get over yourselves. it’s ridiculous and you all know it.

stop neglecting the flaws of some characters because it benefits your agenda. it’s disgusting.

[lochrannn]

For the fic ask meme: I wanted to ask about White Horses, but I think we already discussed that, and then I thought about Sun, And Moon, And Stars Decay, but you may not have got to that scene yet, so instead I'm going to ask about All Rest My Powers Defy (and the other two if you feel so inclined). :D

Thanks for your ask! I’ll give you an answer to all of them and it might end up being a bit long-winded, but sure lookit, what else would I be doing on a Sunday afternoon.

I’ll start with All Rest My Powers Defy, and to asnwer your question I have to veer dangerously close to semi publicly having an opinion on fandom disc horse, but that was a bit of a starting off point.

I’d only ever written like three fics, 15 years ago, and wasn’t particularly interested in writing fanfic until for about 4-6 months I watched the Lila/Diego well more or less dry up and it made me so sad. That combined with reading a number of neutral to negative takes on the ship that boiled down to, “maybe they can be together at some nebulous time in the future only when they have the most rational of all their faculties put together and have both grown into boring, tax-paying adults. Before then, Lila has to also serve penance for the crime of reacting to being an abused child and gaslit adult with about as much chaotic lack of self-awareness as basically all the Hargreeves do, but doing so while being a girl, and a new one at that. If these premises aren’t met, their relationship can be nothing but TOXIC(tm)”.

It’s an opinion people can have, it doesn’t take a lot of mental gymnastics, I’ll give them that. But on the other hand, they’re also just two dumb, hot characters with so much chemistry, the show basically just had to put them next to each other in a scene, so I wanted to prove these takes wrong XD

So, initially that story was going to be about Lila’s decidedly short vacation on which she makes up her mind that staying away from Diego is dumb. I initially actually just wanted to focus on Lila in London of the 70s. Maybe going to a pub and wallowing in some pints, making a couple of pub aquaintances but ultimately not having the greatest time as a single woman of colour. I remember looking at different laws pertaining to women and drinking in pubs around that time. I took those restrictions very personally XD.

Anyway, I started writing that, but then I reallised that really what I wanted was for Lila to find Diego and to smoosh them together, even if a little awkwardly and angry at first. But I’m a firm believer in them not being able to actually keep their hands off each other. I mean, please. Diego finds out Lila betrayed him and when she turns up while he’s digging a grave for his friend who was killed by her colleagues, the worst burn he can come up with is “Oh great, it’s you and your stupid face.” These two people are so in love and very salty about it XD

So yeah, then I wrote that fic in an evening and got hard into fic writing that way!

White Horses (both my most popular fic and though I love all my brain children equally, maybe also my favourite) was two fold, for one I had prompted another fic writer when they were looking for ideas to write one where Diego is recruited by the Commission before the events of S1 and they are reluctant colleagues and fall in love on a fake marriage mission. But then that never transpired and the idea kept perculating in my brain and in the end I decided to write a fic with a fake marriage mission myself but post s2. So I needed a reason why they were fake dating, that’s how I came up with the honey moon cruise and then once I had that, I very quickly had the idea for the scene where (spoiler warning for anyone who hasn’t read that fic but still might want to) Diego saves Lila from drowning with his cool comic book powers XD The rest came as a way to bring me from the premise to that scene.

And Sun and Moon and Stars Decay already had a setting because it’s a continuation of an AUgust one shot. Initially I’d thought I’d do a whole Persuasion in space thing, mostly from Lila’s perspective, her not realising that Diego isn’t indifferent to her, but still very much in love. But then Diego doesn’t lend himself to quiet indifference, Lila isn’t meak enough, and again, the two of them can’t actually not interact even when very angry with each other. That’s just not them. Not cunning enough towards each other, I guess. So I have actually changed my mind about this story multiple times and about where it would go.

Oh! But wait, I do actually remember a scene that I wanted to get to and did in the first chapter, so now the whole rest of the story is justification for that... I realise that was entirely unecessary XD. I wanted them cuddling naked, stargazing, and chatting in Lila’s cockpit!

Sorry, that was a rambly answer XD

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

TUA MEAN GIRLS AU

(please understand that by AU, I mean they share an incredibly small amount of things in common with the original source material which I barely remember BUT the “story” takes place in the setting of the film) (not to be misleading or anything :p)

(BEWARE: abuse, bribery, immoral deals, bullying, homophobia, outing, transphobia, violence, abortion, teen pregnancy, etc.)

(If you can handle watching Umbrella Academy, this will be fine for you.)

(Regina) Five is the king of this school, and he has no plans to give up that position. He needs it to protect his people, as few and far between as they are, and himself, if he’s honest - he’s a trans and ace-aro kid in platonic love with the health class mannequin who he calls Dolores. Ruling with fear is basically all he can do. While he’s mean, you’ll soon realize that everything he says is more of a blunt observation that will improve your life if you just heed his advice. He doesn’t respect almost anybody - not the jocks, theatre geeks, nerds, cheerleaders, band kids - no one. However, if he does respect you, you have his trust and protection. And as a thirteen-year-old genius who only takes advice from always-slightly-drunk art teacher Agnes, his protection is pretty damn valuable: the last person who tried to hurt one of his people will never walk again. Leonard Peabody - he assaulted Vanya, and he paid. Five beat him to the point of hospitalization without getting a single speck of blood or bruise on himself, and Leonard’s the one who walked away in handcuffs. Do not fuck with any of Five’s people, or you have to fuck with Five. And you do not want to fuck with Five.

(Gretchen) Vanya is quiet and subdued, to the point where people question how she’s a part of the school’s most popular trio. If you talk to her for long enough though, it becomes clear: she knows any and everybody’s secrets. She writes for the school paper, and is known to write the stories her subjects don’t want anyone else to find out about. Like Diego, who she outed as bisexual last year to throw people off the trail of her own secret relationship with Sissy, earning her an ex-girlfriend and an ex-friend. She’s been trying to win Diego’s forgiveness ever since, but he won’t talk to her, returning every single one of her letters and gifts. (He’s blocked her number and all of her socials, which she only created to talk to him anyway.) She doesn’t know why Five keeps her around - Klaus loves to gossip, but Five never seems to want any of her secrets. She’s pleasantly surprised to find out that he apparently actually enjoys her company. (What?)

(Karen) Klaus is a fucking mess. He plays the dumb blonde (well, brunette) despite being a genius in his own right, even if he’s not at Five’s level. (To be fair, he’s pretty sure no one is.) He’s a drag queen on the weekends, a hangover from his time in the mafia gang, which he joined with his boyfriend Dave for six months after running away from home. Dave died in a gunfight, and Klaus has been fucked up (well, more than usual) ever since. Anorexia, PTSD, anxiety, depression, self-harm, suicidal ideation, the works. But as lonely as he is, addicted to a fuckton of hard drugs and liquors to cope, he’s still an alluring, aloof, and bubbly popular girl, wearing pink skirts and glittery heels and leather corset crop tops to school every day. No matter how much his father Reginald beats him for it, he keeps being himself, because he’s brave and because even if Reginald hates him, someone far more important loves him… Diego. Diego, who Klaus has kissed under a million stars and in the lollipop shop down the road and on top of a cafeteria table. Diego, who Klaus has chased through the rain and into the street without rest or hesitation. Diego, whose words and promises and scribbles are immortalized on Klaus’ skin for all to see. Diego, who Klaus will love no matter how much bigotry they encounter or dickwads they’re beat up by or miles they put between them. Diego, Klaus’ ex-boyfriend.

(Cady) Allison is the new girl, and she has plans for the advantage being underestimated has brought her. She challenges Five on her first day there, earning his respect, and joins his group at the urgings of Klaus and Vanya, who like her company. A fashion queen, she acts as though she’s unfazed by any and everything, but nobody knows her true heartbreak - she still writes letters to a girl back home. Allison was expelled from her Christian private school for falling in love with a girl named Natalie, who she kissed in janitors’ closets and who she beat up racist and homophobic blondes for. She has no tolerance for bullies, and yet becomes one under Five’s guidance - until she upends his reign as queen bee and signs her death warrant. (Though she later finds out he was more angry at her for stealing Klaus and Vanya’s affection than his popularity.) Now her only hope for happiness in her final days is Ray, the Shakespeare-quoting nerd in her English class… or Luther, the quiet dork in the Star Trek t-shirts in her math class. Fuck, she misses Natalie.

(Aaron) Luther is the posterboard for toxic masculinity. He’s on the football team but hates it, preferring his math tutoring and fantasy books to tackling drills. His bisexuality is his deepest secret - he once slept with Diego when they were drunk at a party after a football game, and he can’t get it out of his head. He keeps thinking about what might happen if somebody found out - would he be shunned like Diego? Trapped like Vanya? Plastic like Klaus? He doesn’t know. All he can do is continue to be kind and hope Allison loves him enough to love every part of him, beyond his good lucks and British accent and fucking Ray. So Luther stands up to Five, and pays the price. He compliments Klaus on his skirts, and pays the price. (Diego seems to simultaneously love and hate him for it, it’s confusing.) He holds the door open for Ben, and pays the price. He’s big enough to be scary, kind enough to be overlooked - but after that incident with Vanya, everyone looks at him like he’s a monster to be locked up. And soon enough, “star student” Luther, “teacher’s pet” Luther, “completely under the principal’s thumb and completely friendless and completely terrified of the world around him” Luther might just break under all that pressure.

(Janis) Diego is the school’s resident outcast and rebel punk - he wears skirts and fishnets and whatever the fuck he wants because if Klaus taught him anything when they were dating it was that gender is a construct and he looks hot in leather. They broke up when Diego was outed and Klaus chose to stay quiet when people started shunning Diego for it, but despite it all, Diego still loves him. He misses when they used to paint their nails together, because he has to paint his own now. They used to stare up at the stars together and fall asleep in the grass, curled up in each other, on the nights that Klaus would run away in terror from his dad and Diego would breathe with him and let him press his hand against his heart until Klaus’ panic died down. His heart still flutters when he sees Klaus smile around a lollipop… but he won’t take him back. He won’t. He just can’t forgive him. So instead, he talks to his mom about everything. He plays soccer with his sister Eudora. He paints shit while smoking weed with his best friend Lila. He thinks of Luther being scared of him and laughs. You know, he was almost in Allison’s position freshman year - Five loved him, and so did Klaus and Vanya, but then Vanya outed him to the whole school for no reason like a day before he and Klaus were going to come out together. And now they’re all estranged, and Diego has the strangest feeling that he’s lost his family, even though his mom is the only real family he’s ever known. But maybe he’s wrong. Because Klaus keeps sending him “anonymous” letters, leaving them on the porch and spilling secrets Diego never even would’ve imagined him having. But forgiveness is still a question - that is, until one day Diego gets a letter in a different handwriting: Five’s, telling him to man the fuck up and love Klaus before he kills himself trying to tear the stars down for Diego’s own personal pleasure, and suddenly, Diego is crying on his porch in the rain, missing a slender, sassy skeleton in his arms and a pink, bruised but unbroken heart in his chest.

(Damien) Ben is everyone’s favorite, and the kindest person in the world. He used to be Klaus’ best friend, but that ended when Ben got into an accident (there was a bus involved, that’s all you need to know) that landed him in a wheelchair and Klaus couldn’t deal with the mental pain it caused him. They still stare at each other longingly from across the cafeteria, but never say a word to each other, not even in class. But beyond Klaus, Ben has never had any friends, though he has a million aquaintances: he’s the only student in the school that everyone loves and respects. Five holds the door for him, though Ben can tell without having to ask that Five would rather nobody know that. He hangs out with Diego because he knows Diego’s lonely, even if he never wants to admit it. He advises Allison not to let anyone control her, telling her he knows Natalie from summer camp and that the deaf girl still loves her and reads every single one of her letters. He gives Vanya his lunch when she skips to cry in the gym after Diego yells at her, even though a part of him might think she deserves it sometimes. He plays sports with Luther after school and offers him an ear and some jokes about his problems, and a few touchdowns when he’s feeling good. He acts as Ray’s student consultant, because he knows how hard Ray works to treat him like an equal. He tutors Eudora in basically everything, but cuts study sessions short to play video games when he can tell she’s too stressed to think. He’s ace and pan and proud about it; he runs the school’s GSA; he defends Diego and uses the right pronouns for Lila when they’re alone without Lila ever having to him he’s trans. He bugs Reginald’s office in one of their many meetings and records enough conversations to get him fired when he tries to expel Five. And finally, karma rewards him - Klaus shows up at his house with a box of brownies he baked himself, all covered in smiley faces, and shoves them into Ben’s hands, shaking his head when Ben assumes they’re for Diego. I miss you, Klaus tells him, and Ben tugs him down into a kiss, pulling away with a stammered apology. I’m sorry, he blushes, and Klaus beams, leaping into his lap and hugging him closer than ever, the two of them queerplatonic partners from then on, forever linked by their fingers in the hallway. Happy. Finally.

Lila is the shy artsy kid who carries around one of those leather brown satchels that looks threatening but is really just code for “I think I’m too cool for a backpack so I stuff all my incorrect homework and favorite comic books into this sack of knockoff pig skin instead”. He’s covered in paint most of the time, and wears Alice in Wonderland combat boots and Sharpie-doodle-covered jeans and big black hoodies and soft grey beanies; he’s trans and hacked off his own hair until an undercut with choppy slash bangs and there’s pink streaks in them, of course, to match the bubblegum he’s always chewing. His nails are bitten and black, and his skin is decorated with tattoos that are almost exclusively Bo Burnham quotes, with the exception of Diego’s name right over his heart. (Diego has Lila’s name over his too - and Klaus’ and Eudora’s, though he’d never tell them that.) He gives his skirts to Klaus and gets along well enough with Five, them both being trans and all, and everyone else knows him as that kid who’ll spread rumors and steal things for bribes. It’s not like he can get in more trouble than he’s already in - he lives with his bigoted and abusive bitch of a mom. But Diego is his best friend - the one he shoots and stabs things with, the one whose ex-boyfriend he talks to because Diego will never admit to himself that he misses Klaus like he would his own lungs if they were torn from his chest, the one whose sister he’s in love with. Wait. Fuck. Oops.

Eudora is Diego’s sister, and the captain of the soccer team. She wears her red jersey with the white numbers to school every day, and is covered in tattoos of magical creatures, because she believes in all of them. She wishes she was a werewolf, and has dressed up as one every year for Halloween since she was ten. (And she’s let anyone dressed a werewolf give her a hickey just in case that turned her. It’s good to have all your bases covered.) She has a broken down pick-up truck named Travis-Trevor-Thomas-literally-any-other-T-name that she loves beyond belief, and drives Diego to and from school in it, though he grumbles about it every day. She eats lunch with him even though he insists he’s fine eating alone and wants her to go away, because she knows he’s lying, and she hangs around the GSA with him sometimes too. She’s lab partners with her brother’s “secret” ex-boyfriend, and is concerned by how quiet he is - she’s seen enough documetaries to know that quiet never means anything good. But unfortunately, she has her own academic drama to deal with - Hazel and Cha-Cha hate her for helping Klaus, and she hates them right back, leading to failing grades in both English and history no matter how brilliant her work is. Mostly, though, Eudora tries to get to know Lila - the pretty, angry, sarcastic emo boy she shares half her classes with, and flirts with every day despite how he ignores her. (ONLY because Lila still smiles and laughs every time she flirts with him, and Eudora knows from Diego that Lila thinks Eudora only flirts with him because it’s some sort of game of “if you get the guy who’s hard to get you win the hundred dollar bet” deal. Otherwise she would’ve backed off immediately because not doing so would be harassment.) Eventually, though, Eudora runs off-field in the middle of a soccer game and over to the stands to ask Lila to prom. Finally, she gets a yes - and, most importantly, a real smile, curled against her own mouth like a Cupid’s bow of promise.

Sissy is Vanya’s ex-girlfriend, and Fuckwad Carl’s current girlfriend. She hooked up with him after breaking up with Vanya, too drunk to even speak, and now her belly’s ballooning and her parents are gonna kick her out unless she marries him like a good Christian woman. And she really didn’t expect herself to tell them to fuck off for this one, but apparently lesbianism makes you do crazy things - so here she is, standing on Ray’s porch in the pouring rain and hoping for the best. She’s depressed and shows that by reading the Bronte sisters; Klaus opens the door for her and brings her notes with doodles all over them which makes her cry; she misses Vanya but hates her for what she did to Diego. And yet Vanya’s there when she goes to the abortion clinic, smiling and joking and holding her hand like always. One day she’ll have a baby and she and Vanya will raise it right, but fuck - that baby sure as hell won’t be Carl’s. (Because fuck that guy.)

Ray is a humanitarian, so, naturally, he’s also the student council president. Five has never mistreated him, because everyone loves and respects Ray, even his critics. He nurtures Allison’s intelligence and encourages Vanya’s musical habits. He tutors Klaus in basically every subject but never talks down to him because he knows the kid’s a genius, just a bit spacey from all the drugs (and the ADHD, let’s be honest). He helps bring Luther out of his shell and takes Lila out shopping for boy clothes, all of which he pays for himself. He’s not scared or offended by Diego’s sarcasm or intensity, instead greeting him every day in class with a new dad joke. He treats Ben to intelligent conversation like an equal and doesn’t let Five be so harsh he’ll regret it later, though he still lets him say what he means and be himself. Everybody knows he’ll be the real President one day - even if for now he wears pajamas to school every day because, in his words, “Clothes are just too much fuckin’ work, man.” (There’s a possibility he may have still been high from hanging out with Klaus that day.)

The Handler is the evil physics teacher. (I don’t know why I said evil clearly all science teachers are evil.) (Yes this is coming from a place of aggression but hey at least I recognize that.) (Plus he deserves it. So fuck you.) (*sticks tongue out*) (Don’t you see how mature I am?) (I’m sorry I’m sorry back to your regularly scheduled programming -) She’s Lila’s mom, and continually and constantly misgenders him (and Five!) in class, not even because she hates trans people, just because she hates him (and Five!). Five always challenges her dictatorial rule, refusing to participate in solidarity with Klaus when she forces Klaus to sit out for wearing skirts. She keeps trying to flunk Ray too, the little bitch, but he just keeps doing so well that she can’t even come up with a falsely plausible reason to fail him! She’s been bribing Hazel and Cha-Cha to flunk certain students for years, unaware that Lila has been stealing from the Handler’s own purse to double those prices for those students to ace their classes. Everybody hates her, and for good reason. I hope she gets fired. (Shut up and let me project onto fictional characters, assholes.)

Reginald is the evil principal and Klaus’ abusive dad. He sends Klaus to school every day in a boys’ “uniform”, which Klaus has to change out of in the bathroom every day with borrowed clothes from Allison. (Anything he owns lives at her house; they have an agreement.) Once Klaus forgot to wash off his nail polish before Reginald came home and he broke all of Klaus’ fingers one by one. (Agnes wants to beat him into dust with a rolling pin.) Klaus stays at Diego’s house a lot, though Klaus refuses to come after they break up even though Diego makes it clear that his door will always be open. Five, therefore, is super protective of Klaus - every time he comes over, he’s super respectful when Klaus is in the room and then verbally rips Reginald to shreds as soon as he’s gone. He once stayed over for an impromptu sleepover when he noticed that Klaus was terrified-ly coming up with more and more ridiculous excuses for Five to stay and not leave him alone with Reginald, and as soon as Klaus was asleep, tiptoed around the house to set up bugs and cameras he got from Ben. He gives all of the evidence to Eudora to deliver to the police, who arrest Reginald and leave him to rot in a cement cell for the rest of his sorry fucking life while Klaus goes on to live Happily Ever After because fuck you and your stupid as shit traditionalism and inhumane experiments you lying scheming fuckwad of a psychopathic monster toad.

Hazel is the exhausted English teacher. His secret? He hates every book he teaches. Also he’s been taking bribes from the Handler and Lila because teachers don’t get paid enough in our society. Also his wife Agnes of twenty years divorced him a year ago for the whole bribery situation and he’s been sleeping in his car and using the school’s facilities to appear fine. Yeah, Hazel’s a mess. ANYWAY - Five is the only one who seems to know what’s going on, and Hazel would like to keep it that way. He knows Klaus is a genius with words but doesn’t know how to tell him that, and he knows Diego’s favorite book is Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen and has agreed to take that secret to his grave. (What, it’s a good book!) His class is the only place Diego and Klaus dare to interact, and he’s noticed - they often pair up for assignments and take to the floor or beanbags in the corner, often cuddling up and giggling over whatever book or assignment they’ve been sent off to read or do. Hazel also has another hopeless couple he teaches, Lila and Eudora - eventually Hazel starts leaving Lila’s sappy poems about Eudora on Eudora’s desk when she comes in for her own class (separate from Lila’s) because there is no other way those two idiots are getting together, let’s be honest. There’s just too much communication. Mostly Hazel misses his own wife, Agnes - but he’s been out of luck since he cashed it in with the science department, hot cocoa whore that he is.

Cha-Cha is the history teacher, and she has all the sass and dry sarcasm required for that job. She will beat a bitch up for telling her she can’t teach critical race theory, and plays Drunk History and Overly Sarcastic Productions in her class basically every day. She doesn’t believe in tests because if she did she’d have to grade them, and she likes animated kids’ movies and TV shows, especially Paw Patrol and Sofia the First. (Yes, obviously she’s single. She’s also ace-aro, so who the fuck cares.) She takes the Handler and Lila’s bribes because she runs an underground wrestling ring and would like to continue feeding her pitbulls gourmet food. The only kid she’s truly on edge with is Five, who often challenges her in debates - she can’t decide if she’s impressed or enraged about it. Whatever. School’s out, bitches.

Agnes is the art teacher who knows everything about everybody. All of her art is of donuts. (Of course.) She’s a damn good cook, especially of pizza - and donuts. (Naturally.) She always has munchkins available for her students - and donuts! (She always saves the chocolate glazed and jelly ones for Five and Klaus.) She likes to rap explicit beats in her car and play her music so loud it shakes the ground and you can hear it from miles away. (Obnoxious.) So she doesn’t restrict her kids’ projects because that’s not what art is about. (And because it would make her a hypocrite, obviously.) Sure, she divorced Hazel, but hey - she’s living her best life, and eventually he’ll come to his senses and come crawling back to her at three a.m. to badly lipsync a Justin Bieber song about missing her, and she’ll leap out the window into his giant hairy arms and kiss him on his ginormous teddy bear face. Because Agnes, at heart, is a hippy. (And that’s love, bitch.)

Grace is Diego and Eudora’s (and everybody’s!) mom. She goes out for drinks with Agnes on the weekends and to clubs with Pogo every Friday (the librarian/unofficial therapist who acts as her mouthpiece when Diego does something stupid and won’t listen to her advice, the moron). She’s kind to everyone, but takes no one’s bullshit: you hurt her kids, you die. Important Notice: Everybody Is Her Kid. So be kind to everyone, dickwads. Well - except Reginald. And the Handler. Both of whom she bitchslaps for mistreating her precious babies. She then takes in Klaus because Diego loves him, and Ben because Klaus loves him, and Lila because both Diego ad Eudora love him. The only reason she didn’t take in Sissy was because Ray already had her taken care of. She’s a literal angel sent from heaven and we should all be worshipping her like the goddess she is I’m sorry I don’t know when this became Grace Appreciation Day™ but hey I’m here for it and I have no regrets.

[valkerymillenia]

Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 4

New episode, new post!

This was the other post I had written out that got accidently deleted so I'm writing it all again.

1993? And Lila was 4? TOO MUCH COINCIDENCE! I still stand by my theory that Lila is one of the 43.

Yes, she has a father but that could just be her mother's husband. It's just too coincidental that the show would make her exactly the same age as the Hargreeves for no reason.

Ah the red heels. Hi Handler. These heels are really pretty though, very wicked witch with the ruby slippers. Even that outfit kind of screams wicked witch meets Cruella de Vil 😏

Kill parents, adopt child. Interesting MO, Handler. Like an evil Bruce Wayne (does this make Handler Owlman? I know, I'm not funny).

Oh, Handler pulling a Reginald with Lila!

Except, you know, she actually gives Lila positive reinforcement and affection, unlike Reggie. But her training seems just as brutal and inhumane for a child (and possibly even more violent) as Reginald's...

It's curious and interesting, a nice foil. Handler succeeds where Reggie fails- creating a loyal and effective soldier will into adulthood- because she was willing to give the kid affection and compassion. Reggie saw himself as some sort of hero creating heros but he failed at the most basic and human thing that even the villain understood.

-The filmography in these training scenes is brilliant.

-Ah, that prom look is the same as half of my classmates when we graduated 🤣 down to the blue makeup.

I'm guessing Lila's "prom"/"graduation" was her first solo assassination?

Wait, Handler wants to protect Five...? What the hell is she up to now?

Talking about killing people like it's a fun hobby 🤨

Oh, so the Swedes are triplets? I suspected but I like the confirmation.

Oh, Handler is lying ~~~~ 🎶

She's definitely following her own agenda here and she's leading Lila into danger. The question is if she's going to undermine the Commission for revenge of if she wants to prove her ability to get promoted back into administrative ranks of the Commission.

Either way, this will not end well for Five.

Lila is going to end up having to choose between Diego and Handler, isn't she?

Five stays in the car to give Luther space... No matter what Five says he actually cares about his siblings' feelings, doesn't he? He's the most overprotective of them all and always has been. It's sweet.

Ah, Luther and Vanya bonding over Five being an asshole. ☺️

"very warm and cuddly father" 🤣

Of course Vanya figured out Five was sparing her feelings, because she's not dumb

Oh, thank you for the honesty, Luther! Gotta love that.

I'm actually really happy to see Luther owning up to his mistakes instead of trying to act like the flawless leader. I think he grew a lot after accepting that Reginald wasnt perfect and I'm glad to see that growth still happening as he learns how to be an independent person. I just hope his guilt doesn't turn into even more self-hatred.

"you had kind of a bad childhood" -understatement of the century, Luther!

Luther, you have pissed off the mobster, you moron. You're on big trouble now.

Dramatic wall punch! 🙄

"when you get angry shit blows up" 😂😂😂

"you're our sister and a member of the umbrella academy" - oh, now you want to include her? The irony of this is that it's the one thing Vanya wanted for the first 29 years of her life and if anyone had said it then, the apocalypse would probably have never happened.

🖕🙊🖕

"I wonder if it's too late to be un-adopted" -ah, you know you love them, Five

Honestly, Allison actually keeps her cool really well, if I went through that phone call I would have broken something.

Why the hell does Klaus want menudo first thing in the morning?? Ew...

Klaus butchering "the frog and the scorpion"... You were doing so well but ended up completely missing the point of that story, dummy.

Diego's stab wound is healing really quickly...

Wait, he's healing quickly and Allison doesn't have a neck scar... Plus Klaus is immortal... Hmm, I wonder if quick healing is an ability they all share? Though that would put Diego's scars (and maybe Ben's death) into perspective...

Does Diego wax his chest? Those pecs are real smooth for someone who spent over two months in a 60s mental institution. 😆

"we've all had the urge" 😂 and Diego's sarcastic laugh 🤣

Who's the 12th of the Magestic 12? Oh, I WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE??? Maybe a certain monocled asshole?

"Mamie pink" is Klaus's new nickname, I don't make the rules.

Klaus, you are freaking the boy out with all this new information...

Oh no, the homophobia 😡😡😡

You know what's more heartbreaking about this homophobic disaster? Dave is likely in the closet and this whole situation here and the hate his uncle is showing must be so painful to him, it would probably bury him even deeper in the closet...

Klaus... The punch... Oh, baby... 😢 Oh no, I'm going to cry 😭😭😭

Is Raymond really implying that Allison is a spy? Damn...

Just tell him the truth, Allison! How do you marry a person without telling them something so big about yourself??

Oh, so Klaus has been sober for 3 years... Interesting.

No, Klaus! Don't start self-destructing again! 😢😢😢

It must be so painful for Ben to watch this and not be able to stop it...

Oh shoot, the cult found him.

"prophet"? "holy wanderer"? Interesting.

Poor Klaus just wants peace.

They seriously couldn't get a suit for Five too? Is he not allowed to wear anything else?

Five is onto Lila 🎶

Luther, are you stress eating? Well, at least you're not going on a bender again.

Awww, Luther- Allison reunion. Cute. Please don't make it weird.

Oh God, the awkward small talk is back 😩

I'm glad Luther is being so mature about this. I like this dynamic better.

"Vanya is on a farm. And happy" and Allison finds the happy part weird. Diego in the "nuthouse" and Allison doesn't find that weird at all, even does that 'yeah, ok makes sense' face. Klaus "cult leader" and Luther isn't surprised at all, that little "eh" was so funny.

Lord, this family is mess.

"Doomsday" *awkward chuckle* -you guys are getting way too used to this.

"Diego, try not to do anything too stupid" 😆 ah, brothers.

Lila in red heels, like mommy... 😏

Reggie taught them ballroom dancing? And Handler had the same idea?

Um.... Ok, so new theories! Do Handler and Reginald know each other? Could Reginald have been in the Commission? I'm going to be thinking about this for a while...

Just let the girl lead, Diego. Stop being a little bitch.

GRACE?!

So mom!Grace is either a cyborg or she was modeled after this woman... Makes curious about Reggie's relationship with this lady.

Diego going through the universal horror every kid goes through when realizing that mommy and daddy are "together". 🤣🤣🤣 "I can't picture it on my head. That's nasty"

She didn't tell him her name was Grace but apparently it is.

Am I the only one getting weird desperate and co-dependant vibes from Sissy?

Oh no! Save the baby!

Holy shit! HOLY SHIT! Vanya's powers are incredible! The special effects in this scene are unbelievable!

Save the child!

How did his lips get blue so quickly?

THE RETURN OF THE MAGIC ALIEN LIGHTS! AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Ok, I need to pause to gather my thoughts... Ok, things I hope don't happen-please don't magically "fix" the disabled boy, and please don't make the powers transferrable (that's just lazy writing, don't rehash "Misfits").

However, other than that I'm just very curious what those lights will do to Harlan. Will they just save his life? Will he gain powers? Will he have some weird connection to Vanya now? I'm dying to find out!

Anyway, back to the ep.

Baby boy is ok!

Luther, did you think pissing off the mobster would end well?

Elliot just starting up at Luther in awe and visibly fighting not to poke him. 😆

HELL NO, LUTHER! NO DRUGS! DON'T YOU REMEMBER THE LAST TIME?? YOU GOT YOUR BROTHER KILLED!

Oh, Sissy... Poor woman.

There going to kiss, aren't they?

Melancholic music kicking in. Sad emotional talk. Sitting way too close. Yeah, they're going to kiss.

Aaaaaand there's the kiss! ☺️

But now I need to pause and digress again...

Yeah, Sissy's feelings for Vanya are not healthy at all. In fact they mirror Vanya's feelings for Leonard- she's unhappy with her life and clinging to the first person that gives her attention. She wants help, she wants to be rescued, she's touch and attention starved. She's co-dependant and emotionally manipulative.

I'm not saying Sissy is a bad person, she's not, she's a sad person stuck in an unhappy marriage, terrified of being abandoned (almost paranoid) and exhausted under a lot of pressure dealing with a disabled child. And then in comes Vanya, who is perfect with Harlan, so loving and kind and has nothing else to pour all her attention towards. Of course Sissy sees salvation in Vanya and is desperate to keep her.

I'm not saying Vanya and Sissy can't have a beautiful healthy relationship, they can, but not like this. Sissy is clinging too tight and using Vanya to make herself feel better and make her life easier. They both deserve better than that and I hope they get it.

I'm starting to think that all relationships in this season might be doomed to fail:

-Sissy and Vanya have a co-dependant and emotionally unhealthy infatuation and Sissy is married to a man that, while not great, still clearly loves her;

-Raymond and Allison have too many secrets between them that are causing a major rift, they can fix it but there's also the chance that Ray might not be able to accept the truth about her;

-Lila is a double agent using Diego to get close to Five, she seems to be developing feelings but the fact that she's lying about who she is and working for Handler is obviously toxic;

-Klaus is pining over a person that Dave has not yet become and while he only wants to save Dave's life, it's obvious there's too big an experience and culture gap between them for a relationship to flourish;

-Luther and Allison have become one-sided and less innocent and puppy-love than before, now it really is just creepy and unhealthy (whereas before it was understandable because they grew up together under an emotionally unavailable father and isolated from the real world, naturally they became attached and confused their feelings, their attachment wasn't healthy but it was justified and almost innocent... Not anymore though);

-we have no concrete proof yet, but it seems Ben MIGHT be pining over a girl that might not even see him, he's dead, it might be an interesting dynamic storywise, but it's not going to happen, it's unhealthy and unfair;

Some of these couples might still survive and become great, it's still really in the season after all, but they have a lot of growing to do before they get there.

Anyway.... Back to the episode.

Oh Klaus... Off the wagon...

Allison being a good sister and taking care of her brother. My heart ❤️

Luther, you idiot... Well, at least you're getting high in a safe environment.

Luther and Klaus are self-destructing, my poor boys.

"you are super weird" - Luther, you have no zero right to call anyone weird, have you looked in the mirror??

"the woman I love loves someone else" -the woman you love is. your. SISTER!

I really like poor Elliot, I hope nothing bad happens to him.

Jesus, that's creepy, Luther.

Didn't I say Reginald was the 12th? 😏

Roswell? Reggie probably has a vested interest in that.

Blink out of there, Five.

I love that Five's main move is always 'teleport onto their backs and go for the throat'.

Wait, why did Five's teleportation glitch???

The music!!!!

Wait, did Diego's aim just glitch too???

Could these power glitches be connected to Vanya's magic lights going into Harlan? Or could it be something about the Swedes? Or about Reginald's presence, seeing as he dodged Diego's power before? Hmm...

Oooh, Lila has to choose between Diego and her mission already? Interesting... Of course she chooses to save Five.

Badass Lila is amazing!

So she could have helped Diego after helping Five but instead she just walks away? Huh, unexpected.

Diego, you adrenaline junkie. Good moves though.

The ancient Greek is a surprise! I really want to know what Five said to Reginald!!! What did he say? I need to know!!!

Another great chapter!! Very emotional too!

I want more!!!

[diegvsknife]

That last sentence though.

I think Lila herself has potential for a redemption arc that will make her more likeable but even with that redemption, I just do not believe the relationship between her and Diego would be particularly succesful or healthy. With all the things that happened, it's hard to believe they can still build up a healthy fundament of trust, not with how much she has been playing with Diego this season. I understand why she did what she did but that doesn't make it unproblematic. Oh, also, being a victim of abuse doesn't get you a free pass for being toxic and then getting away with it.

This is gonna be one of those controversial “hot takes”, but Lila/Diego is barely any better than Vanya/Leonard. Lila knew who Diego was, used him, lied to him, insulted him, drugged him, tried to control his life, attacked him, attacked his family, and, until the very last minute, intended to allow him to be killed by Commission Agents. If she was a man and Diego was a woman, everyone would hate her.

[fivelila]

Why do I think Diego and Lila's relationship was toxic?

No, this isn't going to be a post where I want to bring up the rightness of Lila and Five's relationship and throw dirt on Diego. Not in the least. I want to discuss the real events of the story. Here we go.

Season 2

2x01

Diego has been in a psychiatric asylum for 75 days; it is not clear from the plot how long Lila has been there with him. A fateful meeting and escape together? Not exactly, since Lila is being set up by the Handler. Besides, Diego doesn't want her to have anything to do with his plan. But Lila has no respect for his wishes and joins him for the sake of her mission. Yes, she helped him during his escape, but their entire situation was built on a lie.

2x02

Diego wants to split up after the escape, but Lila doesn't want to. Later, he wants her to leave again when Lila is rude to him. But she stays. Then Five shows up and Diego agrees to leave with him and that Lila will go with them - which doesn't really make sense, he's wanted to get rid of her several times up to this point and now he's had the perfect opportunity to do so.

It's kind of weird how quickly Lila gets involved in their stuff. She's a stranger to Five, but he might think Diego knows her well and trusts her (since he wanted her to go with them). But Diego changes his attitude towards her unnaturally quickly. And I'm not really sure why. Was it just because he was attracted to her? Seems like a weak reason to me.

Their first sweet scene? If Lila wasn't pretending to be someone else. I mean, she went on to play "Lila from the asylum who doesn't understand what's going on" but it wasn't really her. We know Lila was highly intelligent and when she looked scared and confused about things that were going on, it wasn't real. In fact, in the context of things, I don't know exactly what to make of that moment. But it seems like it was a play on his emotions.

2x03

Yes, well, Lila helped Diego in this scene. But I found her medical methods a little questionable, ngl.

And their first time? Well, honestly, the most honest part for me is when Lila confides in him about her family. That was real and I think she took advantage of finally being able to talk to someone about it. But the subsequent kiss and the rest. I already wrote this in another post, but Lila definitely seemed very taken aback after the kiss, that he took advantage of her weak moment and their bonding felt like part of a plan to be able to stay on with Diego, but not for his sake, but for her mission.

I don't want to say she didn't mean to do it, yet her expressions don't look happy. And then there's the question of whether it's because of what happened before or what happened after (meeting Handler) because Lila seemed cool there.

2x04

Yes, the dance scene and the sparks fly. But also, when Lila wants to lead Diego in the dance, it makes Diego a little out of tune. A small demonstration that her open-mindedness and reversal of established roles is not something he likes. It's just that at the same time, Diego is charmed by her, and perhaps so he doesn't even notice her minor manipulations. It seems to me that Lila is testing how much Diego will be inclined to do things her way.

The rest of the episode is more Fivelila, but the moment Lila chooses to save Five and not him, it's clear she's hit him with it and doesn't understand why she did it and turned her back on him. Handler's instructions to her were still above everything else.

2x05

Diego is hurt that Lila didn't help him. And he begins to suspect that Lila is lying to him, but only after Five starts talking about it when Lila becomes suspicious (proof that Diego was kind of blind to her and needed to open his eyes). Later in the episode Five finds out the truth about her.

--

To be continued next time if you are interested...

[fivelila]

Why do I think Diego and Lila's relationship was toxic? (Part 2)

Previous part of this series: Part 1

The Handler will also play a big part in this post, as I think it's quite likely that her actions motivated Lila's actions.

Season 2

2x06

Five finds out who Lila really is, and she returns to the Commission. The Handler notices her bracelet and comments that it’s a cliché to fall for your mark. Lila denies it, claiming the bracelet is just a trophy, but the Handler doesn't believe her.

2x07

Lila starts to notice that the Handler is gaining more and more influence in the Commission, and she seems worried about it. She's probably afraid of the consequences of her actions (and rightly so). I get the feeling she doesn't want to face this situation alone and wants to get Diego on her side.

Meanwhile, Diego finds out they’re about to go back in time. He wants to say goodbye to Lila, without mentioning that he wants her to come with them. Five tells him that Lila was just using him, which leaves Diego hurt.

Lila and Diego are reunited, but Diego is angry with her and wants nothing to do with her because she lied to him. Lila defends her lies, yet right after, she drugs him and literally kidnaps him into the Commission. 🚩 It's a very shocking awakening for Diego.

2x08

Lila wants Diego to work for the Commission, and the Handler agrees, but only if Lila takes responsibility for him. Lila brings Diego to training, but he immediately runs away from the Commission to pursue his own plans. Lila seems surprised that Diego left, though it made perfect sense from his perspective—he was never interested in anything like that. Honestly, the fact that she’s angry with him for something like that just shows that Lila has absolutely no idea what’s right and what’s wrong at this point in time.

2x09

Lila learns the truth about her parents' deaths and shifts her focus to getting revenge on Five. Just before that, Lila mentions she loves Diego, but her attention soon turns elsewhere. The Handler is ready to kill Lila, believing she has exposed the truth about her as well. It's a sign that the Handler is truly capable of anything, and I think Lila has always sensed that, at least subconsciously.

2x10

Lila helps carry out the Handler's plans and confronts the Hargreeves family. She’s cold toward Diego, which surprises him, though he only briefly refers to Lila as his ex-girlfriend in front of his family.

Diego discovers that Lila has been manipulated by the Handler since she was a child, and his opinion of her changes immediately. He offers her a chance to join their family. However, just after that, both Diego and Lila are shot. These events are reversed when Five turns back the time a few minutes. The Handler dies, and Lila manages to escape.

--

Honestly? Diego's behavior didn't really make any sense at all. He saw so many red flags, seemed like he wanted nothing to do with her and then changed his mind from one minute to the next (twice). A lot of scenes in S2 are focused on Lila and Five, and in retrospect I feel like it wasn't Five who was the third one in this story.

Really the only positive points in S2 are: Lila saved Diego when he was stabbed in the stomach and also helped him greatly in his escape from the asylum. The rest often involved manipulation and lying. I also think that Lila latched onto him in large part because she sensed that The Handler was a threat to her and needed a backdoor.

[fivelila]

you ever notice how antis take all the agency from Lila? It’s always how could Five do that to his brother, Five betrayed his family, etc… never mind that Lila was in a very dysfunctional relationship where she was playing mother to 3 small children and her husband. She couldn’t have *possibly* wanted to know what it was like to be with a partner who isn’t a manchild because her role is only to be a mother and wife who parents Diego and makes her marriage work. I’m not saying Lila isn’t flawed but I notice the misogyny about how she gets her agency taken away by antis and it’s like they want her to be in that toxic sitcom marriage archetype. (And when she is given agency by the antis it’s to take agency away from Five and blame her because ew age gap therefore she’s the predator!!!)

Idk I really like Fivela and I’m really grossed out by the misogyny I see thrown her way because no one is sympathetic to her POV and it’s all about Five. Lila is a flawed adult and she took responsibility for her actions but people would rather her be trapped in an unhappy marriage and it just rubs me the wrong way.

Yes, some forget that such relational things need two people involved.

I've noticed that the antis are blind to how unhappy Lila was in her marriage, just like Diego didn't want to see it. Nor do they acknowledge the fact that Lila wanted a break and that it was never really cheating in the true sense of the word.

I don't think anyone can say what all took place during the six years of their marriage. Maybe there was therapy? Attempts at communication? Maybe it all failed. Some see it very simplistically: Diego gave Lila a chance and she doesn't appreciate it. And because he's the first love, viewers automatically expect to be the last one. But that's not how life works.

I think that adult viewers who may have experienced similar things can empathize with Lila. Some don't want to see it and I've even read how Diego has been very cute all season and that they don't understand why Lila has a problem with him. Some topics just aren't for kids who consider jumping into partner's arms as guaranteeing a happily ever after.

[fivelila]

Please continue the toxic diegolila meta

[fivelila]

Will there be another part of the article "Why do I think Diego and Lila's relationship was toxic?" for seasons three and four?

Honestly, I completely forgot about it. But yeah, I'll try to finish it.

[fivelila]

Can you make a post on all the ways diegolila don't work together

Well, yeah, I guess I can. I'm gonna go work on it. 👀

Edit: Adding the first part…

[kazdoesntknow]

before you just scroll past because “oh my god, diego and lila are perfect for each other!!!” let’s actually discuss this.

diego and eudora didn’t work because eudora was too into telling him what he can and can’t do. he even said that. sitting on her steps in front of her home after he had told her grace died. lila is a domineering, controlling person. and that’s not even getting into the shit she pulled on diego in season 2. god, that shit is a mess. and i can’t believe people are okay with it.

lila pitts began with lying to diego. let’s start there. it is very wrong to lie, of course, especially when you’re lying about who you are entirely save for your first name. she pretended to be insane to lower his guard so he would feel bad for her. she told him about her parents, because it would end up benefiting her- his “hero complex”, as the show puts it. and she also used him to get to five. that’s it. that’s all she wanted him for.

she drugged him. kidnapped him. called him her boyfriend when diego clearly didn’t think so. she left him to die- some may go, “well, five’s a kid!” but lila knew that five was the deadliest assassin in the space-time continuum, so i won’t take that bullshit excuse. she tried to kill him and his entire family. like come on now. that’s shitty. we all know that if lila had been a man and diego a woman, you all would have thrown an absolute fit over it. 

diego is a person who shouldn’t be controlled. sure, he might value an opinion, but he doesn’t like being told what he can and can’t do. that’s why he and eudora didn’t work out. so why do people think he would like being kidnapped and manipulated and drugged and forced into a time commission he wants to be no part of? what, because he said ‘i love her’ at the end? no. what the whole ‘i love her’ thing was was complete and utter bullshit that comes out from lila’s manipulations. that’s actually a symptom of an abusive relationship, in most cases, especially when manipulation is involved.

so yeah. dielila is a toxic relationship, and i won’t support it in any way, shape, or form.