#When you live in a world of crazy ass creatures with superpowers and your entire global culture is centered on that

[sharkface]

if i made pokemon swsh i would have made leon transgender

Well if you think about it they never once said he wasn't...

[phantomphangphucker]

Ectober Day 7: Hero - But It’s Not Funny

*a sequel to Realities Little Joke For Infinity* Highly recommend reading that first but it’s not exactly necessary.

Tony has a bad habit of adopting strays. Particularly the stupidly heroic kind that were too reckless and too selfless for their own good. So of course he wasn’t going to just ignore the random teen that literally saved the universe only to disappear into the future. Even if said teen was somewhat dead and the only hero left in a world and time that seriously needed more.

Tony grins as he finally gets the connection to work, making his face appear on the strange future teens laptop; or whatever tech people used in whatever time this kid’s in. Going a bit wide-eyed and wheezing when the first thing he sees is Phantom -in alien PJ’s, because of course the first thing he sees on the kid who showed up in a t-shirt and jeans to an active warzone is pjs- shrieking and jumping a foot off the ground while holding a full pot off coffee; which predictably sends the contents of said coffee pot flying into the air and splattering all over the teens face and floor.

Phantom looks to the screen slowly, with steaming coffee dripping off his chin, hair and eyelashes, “seriously?”.

At that Tony can’t help but bend over laughing. Straightening up and looking at the coffee pot, “what were you even doing walking around with a full coffee pot?”.

“Well I was going to drink it. But now it’s as empty as my wallet”, Phantom looks down at the pot and grumbles, “ya know what? Fuck it. I’m still gonna drink it”, then pointing his finger around and telekinetically making all the droplets of coffee on him and the floor float back into the pot.

Tony watches, a little disgusted, as the kid practically takes a full swing of the previously spilled coffee, shrugs, and sits down by his own screen; feet clearly pulled up onto the chair seat as well and coffee pot cradled between his knees and chest. Tony eyeballs the coffee pot, “you’re really going to drink that huh?”.

Phantom shrugs, “I know what’s on my floor”, looks down at the carpet and shrugs again while muttering, “a Zone damned biohazard of blood n’ ‘plasm that’s what. Oh!”, eyes widening a little, “and a sock with a questionable stain”, looking back to the screen, “‘s not like I can get sick anyway. I could drink this shit outta a radioactive waste barrel and be fine. Prob’ taste like shit tho”.

Tony wheezes both amused and pained, “please don’t kid”, that... that would definitely make him gag.

Phantom chuckles, “don’t intend to”.

The two sit in silence for a bit. Tony taking in the teens appearance. There’s hand-shaped bruising coating his neck, one of his fingers is clearly broken, and there’s a pencil-sized hole going clean through the other hands palm. Phantom doesn’t even seem to care about the state of his body, considering how relaxed he seems and the PJ’s. Plus, no way would Tony be carrying anything, including a full pot of coffee, with his hands in the state Phantom’s are.

Phantom yawns, Tony noticing that he’s missing more than a handful of teeth, before Phantom asks, “so...why’s the past tin can face-timing my laptop?”.

Tony puts on a smile, so it was a laptop. Neat. “future or not, I’ve adopted you as one of my brats. I remember you saying there wasn’t superheroes in your age”, waving his hand around, “no older generation to guide the newer. Well you're getting the older generation now”, shrugging and smiling more genuinely, “plus underroos won’t stop talking about you”. Understatement of the century, Peter was thrilled to meet another teen hero, and wouldn’t stop going on about what powers he might have or if he even has anyone to support him. The latter Tony cares about more.

Phantom wheezes, “whom the fuck is ‘underroos’?”, shaking his head, “so ya wanna be my mentor of sorts and help me blast my foes from the past?”.

Tony smirks and nods, this kid’s humour sure was something else, “exactly. And you met before, the kid? Peter?”. Sure it had been a few months but he couldn’t have seriously just forgotten?

Phantom tilts his head, “the red and blue teenager?”.

Tony grins, “you got it, kid”, eyeing the teen's hands again, “your hands gonna be fine?”.

Phantom waves one hand around, chugging more coffee, “eh don’t worry your metal ass about it. I heal like crazy”, stretching his feet out and resting them on the desk, “I’m just putting it off a while on my hands ‘cause the broken ribs and missing bits of spine are kinda more important ya know?”.

Tony rubs his temples, “Jesus Christ”, just how much damage can this teen sustain? That kind of injury should kill a person.

Phantom laughs, probably at Tony’s pained expression, “don’t worry about that either! Not like I can die twice! Haha!”.

Tony looks back to the screen at that, feeling a bit more serious, “yeah, Thanos said something like that. That you were dead but alive. And you confirmed it. What did he even mean?”.

Phantom purses his lips, “well I could explain but that also could mess with the time stream and could result in some weird immoral science crap”. Tony doesn’t get a chance to comment on that as Phantom turns his head to the side and whines exaggeratedly at the thin air, opening his mouth as wide as looks physically possible, maybe even past that, “tiiiiiiime dadddddddyyyyyyy, will this break the time stream? Your problem child has a proooooobleeeeeeem”.

Tony wheezes into his hands, “Christ”, and stares dumbfounded as a giant hourglass with purple sand comes out of nowhere and smacks the teen in the face, making Phantom fall out of the chair with a thud.

Phantom groans and begins laughing, righting himself and spinning the hourglass around, pointing the bottom of it at the screen, it reading ‘you’re fine’. Tony is so not reading into that, kid had someone like Strange in his corner. Phantom sits back down, lifting up the hourglass like it’s a weight, “Kay Kay Kay, so I’m a halfa right? Unique creature, that’s what I am. A fucked up little science project gone wrong, or right. Your choice. My folks screwed up in the lab and boom!”, he sticks his limbs out comically before righting himself and catching the coffee pot he effectively tossed in the air, “a whack-a-mole of electricity and a wormhole decided to stop my tiny little heart. Also restarted it too though! So it’s cool”, tilting his head, “wait... didn’t I already explain this?”.

Tony sighs, “sort of. We were in the middle of a war”.

Phantom quirks an eyebrow, “your point? That was, like, the bloody third one I’ve been in”, rolling his hand around, “first there was the High Ghost King, his fifty-thousand odd skeletons, and objects of near-unlimited power. The alternate future where an evil me single-handedly annihilated humanity, talk about traumatising having to fight yourself literally”, tilting his head, “and no clue if the plant guy with his army of mind-controlled people and plants or the sleep guy with his army of Walkers, counted as ‘wars’. And eh!”, snapping his fingers, “there was that guy I stole the Reality Gauntlet from! He took over the planet and turned people into clowns and shit. So that might be big enough to count as a war, even if it was just him versus me. But then the tornado guy caused storms all over the planet too so would that count then too?”, shrugging, “eh whatever. I’m sticking with three. Pariah would have eventually destroyed the Zone, which woulda ended the universe. Dan was actively on his way to ending all life in the universe, probably all death too. And grape guy, Thanos, was about to annihilate half the life in the universe which honestly would just end all life eventually... maybe”.

Tony stares at the kid before wheezing some more and falling backwards, “Christ”, righting himself and his chair, “there is something seriously wrong with your life. Like, seriously wrong”. Apparently the future was a freaking mess and fixing its crap was all on one random teen's shoulders. All because the kid died, which somehow gave him superpowers, and decided to make something good out of that death. Talk about unfair. And messed up. Really messed up. At least Tony had his team and they had each other, “please tell me you have some kind of support?”.

Phantom grins and nods eagerly, “got my guy in the chair techy, he destroyed a sataliget once! My rich activist goth, she sued one of my enemies into oblivion. And a ghost hunter who only sometimes tries to murder me and got a nanobot supersuit running through her veins; she can lowkey kick my ass if I hold back enough to avoid accidentally killing the living”, wagging his finger at the screen and getting really close, “us dead fucks are borderline indestructible immortals, halfas even more so”, leaning back and shrugging, “can still die, or fade it’s called for the spookies, though. Well, most can anyway. Timedaddy’s straight-up immortal. But if they died then, well, then the universe would literally implode from the time-stream collapsing”, and makes a little explosion sound and motion with his hands. Oh fuck, the kid was really just a damn kid. And from the sounds of it, his entire support was three teenagers. Ah Hell. Oh and some time being, ghost?, that just left him to his own devices.

Tony shakes his head, “you know what? That doesn’t actually make me feel any better”.

Phantom shrugs, drinks, swishes the coffee around, “don’t know what to tell you, man, my entire existence is pretty fucked up. My archenemy is my uncle, wants to adopt me, and gave me his inheritance. My girlfriend has a solid murder boner for me. My parents get giddy at the idea of dissecting me and are actually worse about that the odd time they’ve been successful. The kids’ at school think I’m their personal punching bag. The government would love to shoot me full of missiles and bombs. Pretty sure my sis is just using me for her research paper on ghost psychology or whatever. And my friendships are pretty much based on the three of us just being really weird”.

Tony groans, this kid probably needed more help and support that literally any other teen or hero. “ClockPops is great though. We play chess”,

Tony blinks, mentally pausing, “you... play chess? Seriously?”, this kid seemed to have more issues sitting still than Peter did. Tony finds it hard to believe he can sit through even half a game of chess.

Phantom nods and grins, “yup. Switched the pieces out for shot-glasses once, it was great. One of my teachers is cool too. He crossdressed and pretended to be his own sister to get me to try harder on a test; it worked better than it had any right to”.

Tony blinks and breathes, “your life”, shaking his head because it sounded like the future was just pure insanity, “well now I’m here and while I’m a bit reckless and a recovering alcoholic, I’m not insane”.

Phantom chuckles, “I’ll probably prove to be a bit much for you then. I’d have to be stupid to not think I’m not at least marginally nuts. Nowhere near frootloopy but eh”.

Tony sighs, being self-aware enough -or just not giving enough of a damn- to recognise that was both impressive and depressing. Impressively depressing. “A few of us Avengers are trained doctors and psychologists outside of being experienced heroes. So kid? You’ve got all of us. At least for verbal advice. Strange already went and basically confirmed that paying you a visit wasn’t a smart idea”.

Phantom snorts and rolls his eyes, sipping a bit more before staring down the pot at the small amount left. Speaking into the pot, “oh yeah, I can just imagine all the time problems that could cause. I’m surprised this is okay”.

Tony can’t help chuckling at the slightly silly image, though he’s not sure why the kid doesn’t just drink what’s left, savouring it maybe? “Same. Strange looked at me like he was questioning my sanity. He’s probably going to pester you about the Clock guy you keep mentioning”, grumbling to the side, “I just hope Loki will keep his trickster mitts off you”. Because fuck, they’d probably get on like fire and more fire. Which yeah, slightly horrifying mental image. Probably inevitable though. Loki was already impressed, amused, and interested by Phantom and literally everything the teen did after showing up. Seriously though, who’s first thought when fighting giant spaceships with mouths and other horrifying shit, is to turn it into bouncy balls and worms??? And a smoothie for a reward? For effectively saving the universe? Kid was a trickster, dabbled in death kind of literally, and ‘gave precisely zero fucks’. Loki would have a field day and probably be a horrid influence. Though thinking of it, Phantom might be a bad influence on Loki. Loki generally had reasons for anything beyond mild messing with people. Phantom seemed more likely to just go buck wild purely because he could. Even if he seemingly had a heart of gold and more self-sacrificial bones in his body than actual bones. Seemed like his entire world/time belittled and beat the shit out of him, and yet he gladly got dissected and lost chunks of his freaking spine for them. At least he had the power to back it up.

Tony quirks an eyebrow at mist, or something, leaving the kid’s mouth before Phantom goes wide-eyed and Tony jerks as an actual literal swear-on-every-ironsuit-and-the-entire-tower cartoonish rocket smashes apart what he’s assuming is-was a window; sending glass flying everywhere... and Phantom flying off-screen, the coffee pot going up in the air and sounding like it smashed apart on the ground.

Tony can practically hear the glare in Phantom’s voice, “hey! You spilled my damn coffee!”, while a robot blasts into the room, breaking more glass and bits of wood from the looks of it.

The robot pauses, seems to frown apologetically before shrugging, “apologies whelp, but it is no matter! You won’t need such things after I skin you!“. Tony chokes and gags a little at that. “Also-”, pointing to where Phantom probably is, “-that was practically empty”. Tony then stares as Phantom comes back in screen -looking all black and white- only for the robot to shoot a missile at him immediately, Phantom just sort of shrugs and lets the missile hit him in the face. This kid seriously really didn’t give a damn about his own well being.

And not even seconds later Peter walks in out of the blue, face lighting up as he notices the screen and probably Phantom’s very noticeable self on it, and dashes over. Obviously noticing Phantom’s current situation, “oh Phantom! Kick his butt!”.

Phantom does a silly thumbs up at the screen and immediately gets stabbed in the shoulder. Tony watches in slight disbelief at the kid looking at the knife, saying, “oh! You got a new knife! Shit is the handle engraved?!?”. And the robot actually stops and replies with a wide grin, “it was a valentines gift from Ember! Impressive right?”.

Tony and Peter both blink at the fight effectively stopping as Phantom pulls out the knife and looks it over, seeming impressed, “actually yeah”, pointing almost aggressively at the robot, “you got her something too right? You’re fucking horrible for that man”.

The robot rolls Its eyes, how metal is moving that organically Tony has no clue. “Of course whelp, those drum sticks you can sing into”. Phantom facepalms and Peter actually shakes his head in disappointment. Though Tony agrees, that was awful. But who talks with their enemy -who wants to skin them for peat's sake!- about presents?

Phantom makes a tsk tsk sound, “you dumbass, she got you a sick-ass knife and you got her a knick-knack? Seriously?”, Phantom walks off-screen, the two watching as what they’re assuming is cash flys over to the robot and Phantom returns on screen, “go by some flowers to make up for that crappy present. And for the love of everything, don’t get roses”, waving his hand around, “that’s so cliche. Go with tulips and forget-me-nots”.

The robot inspects the cash before flying off-screen, presumably back out through the window It destroyed, “I will have your pelt next time, whelp!”.

Phantom chuckles, shouting back, “sure you will, Skulkie! Ghost Zones greatest hunter”. Tony and Peter can feel the sarcasm in that. “Also! No you don’t have to ask! An engraved knife would be a wicked Christmas Truce present!”. Tony sighs when a ball or something slams into Phantom’s stomach and sends him flying off-screen.

Peter leaning towards the camera, “woah! You okay?”.

Phantom’s laughter echoes horribly, “right as rain! Mind you, it’s not actually raining”, righting himself and pulling himself up into the previously knocked over chair, “don't mind Skulker, he’s a poacher and I’m rare. Practically one of a kind actually. A poachers dream prize. His girlfriend has a mind-controlling guitar and occasionally attempts at world domination”. A ghost-shaped guitar floats on-screen, Phantom grabbing it, “she gives awesome presents though”, and gives the guitar a good couple strums.

Peter’s eyes go wide, “you can play the guitar?!?”, tilting his head and asking what is in Tony’s opinion a more important question, “wait, your enemies buy you presents?”, tilting his head back, “oh man that’s awesome”. Tony just shakes his head with a smile, teenagers.

Phantom grins and strums some more before the guitar floats off-screen, “all my enemies do”, shrugging, “for the Christmas Truce and my death-day anyway. But that’s normal. A ghost culture thing. Even the prison warden guy, whose got special torture weapons set aside just for little ol’ me, buys me some kind of present. Heck! Even the eyeballs do! And they’ve repeatedly tried to assassinate me”.

Tony blinks, “kid, that makes no sense. But I’m glad they’re at least occasionally nice to you”. Hell knows Phantom needs someone to be nice to him.

Peter tilts his head, “what even is a ‘death-day’? Sounds dark”.

“Oh nothing special, just the day I died. Like a birthday! But for death! A real dead-ringer of a holiday!”, and laughs loudly before rolling his eyes at Tony, waving his hand around, “eh, I’m kinda their king so be kinda a dick move to not give me gifts on literally the two biggest holidays”.

Peter practically shrieks, “WHAT! You’re a king! Oh that is so cool”. Tony blinks, “you did mention something about being the guardian of death and Earth”.

Phantom laughs some more and finger-guns while winking at Peter, “yup! Very important, much power”, and grins stupidly before pointing to the air above his head; a green floating crown bursting to ‘life’ with green mist or something wafting off, followed by a black cape with a flaming white collar and large flaming green skulls pinning it closed with a shadowy chain.

Peter cheers immediately, then adding, “Loki would love this!”. Tony points at him, “no. I want to keep that one as far away as possible for as long as possible”.

Phantom snickers, “I have chronic bad luck, so don’t count on that working out for you. Spidey probably has better tastes than you though, Ironass”.

Tony shakes his head with a smile, “you like making up names for people huh?”.

Phantom grins meanly, “it pisses people off. Which makes them easier to hit”, and holds up a fist, smacking a hand on his bicep.

Tony can’t help but laugh at that, “you got a point kid!”, though that was stupid reckless, and effectively confirmed him being tricky. One of Tony’s tech toys starts beeping so she moves to check it out. Peter taking his place in the chair. Glancing back at Tony before looking back to the screen, “hey I’ve got a question, teen to teen. What’s being a hero to you? Why do you do it? It just... it seems like your only suffering for it. Waaaaay more than normal. And not making stuff much better for it”.

Phantom hums, spinning around in the chair, “a hero's not afraid to give their life, and anything worth doing is worth getting hurt for. I do it so others will not suffer. That is all. It doesn’t matter if things change or not. If there’s still unnecessary violence and pain, then it is still a hero's place to grab their fists around it and pulverise it to Hell and back. So long as cruelty exists I will be there to stand against it. With a smile on my face and a laugh in my heart and Core. Because there is no greater joy, no greater choice, no greater path, than self-sacrifice for the sake of another. Regardless who they are, what they are. Good or bad. Young or old. And whether they support you, or not”, Phantom nods, puts his hands behind his head, cape bunching up, and looks to the side, “and maybe someday things will change. I doubt it, but who knows. But if things do, if that kind of future is on the horizon, then I think I’ll rest. Until then, I’ll be here. Doing what I do and suffering immeasurably for it. Until the world doesn’t need ‘heroes’ anymore. Till it doesn’t need me anymore”, looking back at the screen, Tony having walked back over slowly though the kid doesn’t pay him any mind, “so I guess, being a hero to me is being the embodiment of a brighter future. To absorb the suffering of the world”, sticking a finger up, “like a paper towel!”. Tony chokes at that a little; though the kids' sudden seriousness and introspection was just as startling as last time.

Tony shakes his head, “you make it sound like you’re immortal, kid. Also, that’s what a team’s for, to help share the load. The burden. Sure your ideals are noble and probably needed, but you can’t help anyone if you destroy yourself”.

Phantom smiles but something about it seems almost... sad. “In a way, I am. A ghost can not die and a human can not fade. A ghost ceases to exist when they fade and a human when they die. Yet I can do neither. So that raises the question, what is ‘death’ for a halfa? An idea? An ideal? A reality? Or just pointless conjecture. And besides, for a ghost to fade they must satiate their Obsession. Be satisfied with the fulfilment of their existence”, pointing to his chest, “and my Obsession? Protection. To protect is a physical and mental need for me. And it will never be satisfied till there’s nothing left needing protection. And it is thus that I will always be here”, shrugging and chuckling, “likely anyway”.

Tony blinks, that... that changed a lot actually. It also explained a lot. This wasn’t some kid playing hero, or even an experienced hero just doing what’s right and their job. This wasn’t someone stuck in a bad way and doing what needed to be done purely because no one else could. This wasn’t someone trying to do good to make up for their sorted past. This was someone wise beyond their years, with little to no regard for themselves, and a living -half-living- embodiment of the word ‘hero’. Watching the teen turn his head at someone -likely his mom- shouting that supper was ready. There was a rocket-powered fistfight minutes ago and his parents’ didn’t even check on him. Christ that was depressing. But it also made him want to help this kid out all the more.

Phantom turns back to the screen, “whelp that’s my queue then I guess. And let me guess? This-” gesturing at the screen, “-is gonna become a thing? Which totally cool, little warning next time. And keep this mind, walking the straight and narrow takes more time than I got. I will steal, mildly harm, trick, and lie, as I see fit”.

Tony rolls his eyes, he’d expect no different from a kid basically left up to their own devices, “we’re all guilty of that, kid”. Phantom just laughs as the screen goes dark.

Tony leans back, well fuck, he wasn’t prepared for the kid to have shit that bad. And the King situation definitely threw him through a loop. He’ll have to talk to Thor -not Loki, dear God not Loki- about that. Being a hero and a king.

Regardless, they’re gonna help the weird spooky future kid out. And Peter absolutely liked Phantom, which hopefully wouldn’t be a bad thing. Hopefully. (And it wasn’t, if you ignored Peter carrying out more than a few pranks on Phantom’s behalf).

End.

[echobasegazette]

Stranger Things

I haven’t ever written about a TV show before, mainly because I don’t watch much non-sports TV. I really just watch movies and reruns when I turn on the TV because I can’t seem to ever remember to watch shows I like when they air. But recently I have been watching TV shows, on a strictly binge-watch basis, on Netflix or HBO. Like most people, when I can’t find something to watch, I browse the “you might like this” on the Netflix homepage, and a recent addition to that category was Stranger Things. I still don’t know why I decided to watch it; maybe it was because of the ticking timer that showed up when I first clicked on the show, “4 hours until the release of season 2,” or maybe it was some of the hype I’d heard from people I know. But once I started the series, I couldn’t stop. I plowed through all 18 episodes in seven days, and when it finished, I couldn’t help but think that the final episode was absolutely perfect.

For those who haven’t seen the show I will give you some quick points to peak your interest and then suggest that you stop reading until you’ve finished the series.

Super Quick Review

The show takes place in the mid-80s, in the fictional town of Hawkins, Indiana. There are four kids who are playing Dungeons and Dragons in the basement when the show starts. After the conclusion of their mission/quest they all head home. One of the kids, Will, is attacked on the way home by a creature from another dimension called the Upside Down. Meanwhile there is a secret facility in town run by the United States government, and as you would expect, they are up to all sorts of no good. This show is advertised as scary, but it’s more of a thriller and suspenseful, very similar in feel and “scare” level to Super 8 by J.J. Abrams.

Now if you haven’t seen the show, I would advise you to stop here since everything going forward is full of spoilers.

This show is really freaking good so I am not going to write a review on the show itself. What I am going to do is talk about a few things that I have been thinking about since I finished watching. Some of the following points have come from reading other articles online, and some are just my own perceptions and reflections.

Why do people care about Barb Holland and Bob Newby?

It took me seven days to finish this series, and while watching it I refrained from reading anything online about the show. The main reason that I do this is so the ideas of authors don’t infect my own.  So, when I finished the show I went online and started reading articles and reviews about the show and people seemed to really like these two characters, and I have no idea why.

As soon as Barb was captured, I knew she was dead. They had to start killing characters to create the perception of threat to the main characters, and she was the perfect fit. Online there started to become a #justiceforbarb following on social media, but why? She appears to be a good person and a good friend to main character Nancy Wheeler, but her biggest contribution was being dragged to party she didn’t want to go to and trying to cock-block her friend. Do I think her parents should have been told of her death so that they didn’t sell their house trying to pay to find their daughter? Yes, of course. But someone had to die in that first season, and she is easily the best option.

Bob Newby is different than Barb; he wasn’t a throw-away character who had to die just to create the potential of a threat. Bob is a main character who dies because he made too many mistakes. First, he convinced Will Byers to tell his dream demons to go away. Sure, that’s sound advice if you are having run of the mill nightmares, but its shitty advice if you are being stalked by an interdimensional power known as the shadow monster. Second, Bob nominates himself for a suicide mission because he is really the only one who is capable of operating the computers. But once he’s finished he leaves his gun on the table before heading to the exit. Rookie mistake Bob, when you are being chased by aliens, zombies, talking toys, or inter-dimensional Demi-Dogs, you never forget your gun.

The third and final/fatal mistake Bob makes is he doesn’t complete the catch before looking up field. This might not make sense to anyone who doesn’t watch football but sometimes a WR will be about to catch a pass and then he will turn to look up field, taking his eyes off the ball leading to a dropped pass. So, make the catch and then turn up field. Bob makes the same mistake, metaphorically. He has just escaped a maze of horrors and slammed the door in the face of a Demi-Dog, he is within 30 feet of safety and he looks up and celebrates the moment. In the next instant the demi-dog crashes through the door and eats him. Bob died because he didn’t stay focused on his objective; he was too busy trying to be “Bob Newby, Superhero”.

What was the deal with Eleven’s standalone episode in Season 2?

Eleven has been stuck in a cabin for 350+ days, and Hopper has been driving her crazy because he never shows up on time. She is pissed off at Mike because she saw him chatting up Max, and so she decides it’s time to go visit her mother. While she is there, she sees a vision of another girl, Eight/Kali, and takes off to Chicago to meet up with her. Kali is the leader of a gang which robs people and kills “bad people”, and she convinces Eleven to join for a short time.

I hated this entire episode; everything about it was completely horrible. Eleven is “good guy”, sure she was a little impulsive, but she was getting training at the hands of Chief Hopper. She was on the right path. Then she meets up with Kali and her gang of losers. I was so happy when Eleven finally decided to head back to Indiana to help her friends.

My other complaint was that this episode, “The Lost Sister”, existed outside the rest of the story timeline. Every other episode jumps around between the different characters so that time passes evenly for the cast. But not this episode it’s just an entire episode of bad decisions by a 13-year-old with superpowers. It would have been better if this storyline was split between several episodes throughout the middle of season two. But really, I still don’t think I would have enjoyed the story line.

Why did Dr. Brenner want to be called by Papa by the experiment kids?

Dr. Brenner is the main human villain in the first season, and he runs the Hawkins Energy lab building. One of his duties at this covert CIA-type laboratory is training the captured children in the use of their powers. He is also in charge of keeping the experiments at the Hawkins facility a secret for the local community. In his normal duties, he has to experiment on children and kill anyone who finds out the secret nature of the facility, so basically his job sucks. Even if he donated part of his salary to charity he would still be a “bad guy” best compared to Joesf Mengele, the Doctor at Aushwitz who experimented on children. But the creepiest thing about this guy is that the children call him “Papa”. Why? The kids are isolated from the rest of the world, he could tell them to call him anything. But instead he has created this weird father relationship with the children. He should probably be investigated by the Officers of the Special Victims Unit because something weird is going on here.

Why isn’t Nancy creeped out by Jonathan Byers?

Early in the first season Jonathan Byers is walking through the woods looking for his brother Will when he stumbles on Steve Harrington’s house. There is a party going on at Steve’s house, so Jonathan pulls out his camera and starts taking pictures of the frivolities. While taking picture he captures a photograph of Nancy taking off her clothes in Steve’s room.

After developing his photos Jonathan is walking through the school parking lot and happens upon Nancy, Steve, and his goonish friend. Steve and the goon take his photos and find the revealing photo of Nancy; they proceed to rip up the photos and smash his camera. At this point Nancy feels bad for Jonathan, which is understandable given that her “friends” have just bullied the poor kid. But she ends up becoming friends with Jonathan and later dates him. Why isn’t she creeped out by the fact that he took these photos? I know he gives her some lame excuse about capturing people as they actually are, but it’s still completely creepy. I just don’t understand why this isn’t a huge red flag and major turnoff.

Who is the MVP of the first two seasons of Stranger Things 2?

Stranger Things has now completed its first two seasons, 18 episodes of content, and there is a lot going on. But my favorite thing to think about is who is the biggest hero of the show. Who is the MVP?

There are certainly a lot of quality options. The two most obvious choices are Eleven and Chief Jim Hopper. Eleven is a 12/13-year-old with some X-men like powers. She took on the Demogorgon and kicked its ass, then she threw down with some demi-dogs and closed a massive portal to the Upside down with her mind. There were some rough patches along the way, like shoplifting and joining up with a crew of losers, but she always shows up when the bread needs to buttered.

Chief Jim Hopper is just a local police chief, but he can really kick some ass. In fact, I think he punches out every person at Hawkins lab.  He has no powers except an awesome beard and a willingness to battle interdimensional beings, even though it’s way out of his jurisdiction. Heck he even looks out for Eleven when she has no place to live.

With any MVP race there has to be some dark horse candidates and here are those four options. Joyce Byers is Will and Jonathan’s (why doesn’t he go by John?) mother. She doesn’t give up on Will even when everyone thinks he is dead and that she is crazy. But her ex does throw her off for an episode. In season two she really steps up her game as she helps Hopper solve the maze that Will has drawn. Her and Bob team up to locate the missing Chief Hopper, and finally, she teams up with Nancy and Jonathan and gives heat to the shadow monsters to save her son.  

The trio of Mike, Dustin, and Lucas would also make a solid choice. Sure, they make some mistakes, they often need to be rescued by other characters, and they fight amongst themselves. But they go toe to toe with a scary ass monster with nothing but a slingshot. The also use their knowledge of Dungeons and Dragons to explain everything that’s happening to the rest of the characters. They do have some rocky moments but they remain steadfast in their desire to help their friend.

Neither Jonathan nor Nancy has a strong case by themselves, but together they are a pretty sweet team. The buy some bear traps and other tools in an effort to distract the Demogorgon. They help Murray the reporter bust open the secret on the Hawkins facility, kicking those bastards out of town. They even manage to help out Barb’s parents avoid losing their home and all their money in a desperate search for their daughter. And with the help of Joyce, they manage to save Will from the clutches of the shadow monster.

Billy Hargrove is a complete asshole and would never have a chance at the MVP, but his mullet is freaking awesome. Every time Billy does something awesome, smoking while lifting weights, seducing Nancy’s mom, playing shirtless basketball, that’s the power of his mullet. But even his mullet couldn’t save him from getting his ass kicked by his sister.

If you’ve seen the show you know none of those people have a chance. The real MVP is Steve Harrington; he even has a sweet nickname perfect for the MVP of the show, King Steve.  Steve is the only character who really changes throughout the events of the show. He starts out as a douche who is just hooking up with Nancy to get another notch in his belt. Next, he morphs into bat wielding defeater of the Demogorgon. Steve then becomes a good boyfriend, ready to take the next step with Nancy Wheeler, even putting up with a depressing dinner of KFC with Barb’s parents. Don’t worry he’s not done. Next, he gets his heart crushed but comes back as super-babysitter, equipped again with nail embedded bat. Steve closes out the show dispensing lady advice to Dustin and even drives him to the dance. Steve and his breathtaking Farrah Fawcett hair is your undisputed MVP of the first two seasons of the Stranger Things.

 The Duffy brothers are set to make a third season and there are rumors of five seasons in total. Hopefully they start filming soon because I am really excited for the next part of the show. Plus, the kids are all set to hit puberty and we don’t 20+ year old high school students in future seasons. Lets just hope that future seasons don’t ruin the absolute perfection of that final episode of season 2.

Big O