#When I started I felt like dying during the first 10min of doing it

[toimintalaama]

My knees are dead 💀

Went to the gym (yay) and used the elliptical for an hour (yay). Now my knees and hips want to disintegrate (less yay)

[thisbluespirit]

James Maxwell TV/Film List

More of a guide than a recs list, because old tv/film depends so much on availability.  It’s also hard as there’s nothing surviving that’s really like SotT for him (his voice is always slightly different, too & rarely the grand one from SotT) - I found it hard to find where to start back in the day, so I hope this makes it easier.  However, I have starred my favourites (rated for JM content only). 

I’ve divided things into categories and @jurijurijurious​ (or anyone) can make up their own mind as to what to go for.  (Also @jurijurijurious I have NO idea what old telly you’ve already seen, so forgive me if I’m telling you things you already know.)

Where to find it:  Luckily in the UK, it’s not too bad!  Network Distributing are the DVD supplier to keep an eye on (they do great online sales), you can find secondhand things cheap on Amazon Marketplace & eBay, and several Freeview channels show old TV & film, especially Talking Pictures.  I’ll note if things are on YT or Daily Motion, but they come and go all the time, so it’s always worth searching.

***

Film serials (ITC mainly)

British TV made on film in the US mode with transatlantic cash, so generally pretty light,  episodic (continuity is almost unheard of) etc.  Some turn up on ITV3 & 4 on a regular basis (colour eps). 

*** Dangerman “A Date With Doris” (ITC 1964)  James Maxwell is a British spy friend of Drake’s (Patrick MacGoohan) called Peter who gets framed for murder.  Drake goes to Fake Cuba to rescue him by which time JM is dying from an infected wound and faints off every available surface, including the roof.  It’s great.  On YT.  (The boxset is v pricey if you just want 2 eps.)

“Fair Exchange” (ITC 1964) JM is a German spy friend of Drake’s called Pieter who helps him out on a case.  Not as gloriously hurt/comfort-y as the other, but it does have some excellent undercover dusting. (Why  Patrick MacGoohan has JM clones all called variations on Peter dotted around the globeis a mystery.)  On YT.

The Saint “The Inescapable Word” (ITC 1965) This is pretty terrible, but  entertaining and James Maxwell plays the world’s most hopeless former-cop-turned-security guard. With bonus collapsing.  On YT.

“The Art Collectors” (1967).  JM is the villain of the week.  It does include a v funny bit, though, where the Saint (Roger Moore) goes for JM’s fake hair (and who can blame him?  How often I have felt the same!)  This one’s in colour so should pop up on ITV3 or 4. 

The Champions “The Silent Enemy” (ITC 1968).  Surprisingly good JM content as the villain of the week who drugs sailors and steals their clothes before realising that maybe he should have worked out if he could operate a sub before he stole it.

The Protectors “The Bridge” (ITC 1974, 30 mins.)  Not worth seeking out on its own, but ITV4 seems fond of it and James Maxwell gets to do some angsting and wears purple, so it’s worth snagging if you can, but too slight otherwise.

*** Thriller “Good Salary, Prospects, Free Coffin” (ITC 1975; 1hr 10mins, I think).  James Maxwell moves in with Julian Glover and runs an overcomplicated murdery spy ring where they bicker a lot in between killing girls by advertisement and burying them in the back garden.  What could possibly go wrong??  Anyway, it’s solid gold cheese, has bonus Julian Glover and a lot of natty knitwear.  What more does an old telly fan want?  (tw: Keith Barron being inexplicably the very meanest Thriller boyfriend.)  On YT but tends to get taken down fast.

***

Films

Design for Loving (1962; comedy).  Can be rented from the BFI online for £3.50.  Isn’t that great or that bad (or that funny either), but does have JM as a dim layabout beatnik, which is atypical.

***The Traitors (1962).  This is a low-key little 1hr long spy B-movie, but it’s also thoughtful and ambiguous with a nice 60s soundtrack and location work (it’s a bit New Wave-ish) and the central duo of JM and Patrick Allen are sweet and it all winds up with James Maxwell going in the swimming pool. One of the things where JM is actually American. (Talking Pictures show this occasionally & it is out on DVD as an extra on The Wind of Change.)  The quality of the surviving film is not great, though.

***Girl on Approval (1962).  A Rachel Roberts kitchen sink drama about a couple fostering a difficult teenager.  It’s dated, but it’s also really interesting for a 1950s/60s slice of life (and very female-centric) & probably the only time on this list JM played an ordinary person.

***Otley (1969).  Comedy that’s generally dated surprisingly well & is good fun, starring Tom Courtenay +cameos from what seems like the whole of British TV.  JM is an incompetent red herring & there are more cardies and glasses as well as a random barometer. 

Old Vic/Royal Exchange group productions

(Surviving works made by the group that JM was involved in from drama school to his death, made by Michael Elliott or Casper Wrede.  I like them a lot mostly, but they are all slow and weird and earnest & not everybody’s cup of tea.)

Brand (BBC 1959).  The BBC recording of the 59 Company’s (the name they were then using) landmark production, starring Patrick MacGoohan.  This was a big deal in British theatre & launched the careers of everybody involved.  It’s very relentless and weird but interesting & I’m glad they decided it was important enough to save.  First fake beard alert of this post.  It won’t be the last.  On YT & there is a DVD, which is sometimes affordable and sometimes £500, depending on the time of day.

***Private Potter (1962).  The original TV play is lost and this film has an extraneous storyline, but otherwise has most of the TV cast & gives a pretty good idea of why as a claustrophobic talky TV piece it made such an impact.  Tom Courtenay is Private Potter, a soldier who claims to have had a vision of God during a mission & James Maxwell his CO who needs to decide what to do about this strange excuse for disobeying orders.  Tw: fake eyebrows (!) and moustaches.  Only available on YT.

[???]One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovitch (1970).  Again, no DVD release (no idea why), but it is on YT.  I haven’t seen this yet, but it’s another Casper Wrede effort starring Tom Courtenay and apparently JM is especially good in it.  (I’m just not good at watching long things on YT and keep hoping for a DVD or TV showing.)

Ransom (1974).  A more commercial effort starring Sean Connery & Ian McShane; it gets slated as not being a good action movie, but is clearly meant to be more thinky and political with the edge of a thriller. JM’s part isn’t large but Casper Wrede shoots his friend beautifully, & it’s a pretty decent film with nice cinematography, shot in Norway, as was One Day.  I liked it.

[I think this post might be the longest in the world, whoops.  Sorry!]

Cardboard TV (the best bit, obv)

One-off plays etc./mini-series

Out of the Unknown “The Dead Planet” Adaptation of an Asimov short story; this is very good for JM, but hard to get hold of unless you want the boxset.  I think someone has some of the eps on Daily Motion.  (His other OotU ep is sadly burninated.)

The Portrait of a Lady (BBC 1968).  Adaptation of the novel; JM is Gilbert Osmond, so it is great for JM in quantity and his performance, but depends how you feel about him being skeevy in truly appalling facial hair.  Do the bow ties and hand-holding make up for it?  but he’s in 5 whole episodes, and Suzanne Neve, faced with Richard Chamberlain, Edward Fox, and Ed Bishop as suitors, chooses instead to marry the worst possible James Maxwell.  Relatable. XD

***Dracula (ITV 1968, part of Mystery & Imagination).  JM is Dr Seward, fainty snowflake of vampire hunters, who falls over, sobs and can’t cope for most of the 1 hr 20 mins.  More facial hair, but not as offensive as last time.  Suzanne Neve is back again, although now JM is nice, she’s married Corin Redgrave, who’s more into Denholm Elliott. Anyway, I love this so much because it turned out that I love Dracula as well as shaky old TV with people I like in getting to fight vampires and all be shippy.  Good news - TP keep showing M&I, the DVD is out, and there are two versions of it up on YT.

The Prison (Armchair Cinema 1974).  This is the one with Lincoln in it, but it’s not that great & JM isn’t in it that much, so depends how curious you are for the modern AU!  (But my Euston films allergy is worse than my ITC allergy, and I watched this when very unwell, so I may have been unfair.)

Crown Court “Fitton vs. Pusey” (1973) - part of the Crown Court series, set in a town full of clones who all keep returning to court.  JM is on trial for his behaviour in (the Korean war?  I forget?) although he ought to be on trial for his terrible moustache.  It’s not that great, but it is nice JM content.  He probably did it, but for reasons, and he wibbles & panics whenever his wife leaves the courtroom.  Also on YT.

*** Raffles “The Amateur Cracksman” (ITV 1975) - He is Inspector Mckenzie in the Raffles pilot & is a lot of fun.  At one point when there was a Raffles fandom someone in it claimed he was too gay for Raffles, which I’m still laughing about, because Raffles.  Anyway, watch out if you try to get the DVD because it is NOT included in S1, whatever lies Amazon tells. It is up somewhere online, though, I think.

Bognor “Unbecoming Habits” (1981).  Some down marks for possibly the worst 80s theme & incidiental music ever, but fun & has been shown on Talking Pictures lately.  JM is an Abbot running a honey-making friary that is actually a hotbed of spies, murder, gay sex and squash playing.  This is the point at which he chooses to strip off on screen for the first time, because strong squash-playing abbots do that kind of thing apparently.

Guest of the week in ongoing series/serials

Since even series with a lot of continuity tended to write episodes as self-contained plays (like SotT), these are usually accessible on their own.

Manhunt “Death Wish” (1970).  This is one of the most serialised shows here, but this episode is still fairly contained.  WWII drama about three Resistance agents on the run across France.  JM is... a Nazi agent & former academic trying to break an old friend (one of the series’ three leads, Peter Barkworth) with kindness, possibly??  (Manhunt is very angry and psychological & dark and obv. comes with major WWII warnings (& more if you want to try the whole thing), but it’s also v good.)  Up on YT, I think.

Doomwatch “The Iron Doctor” (BBC S2 1971).  “Doomwatch” is the nickname of a gov’t dept led by Dr Spencer Quist that investigates new scientific projects for abuse/corruption/things that might cause fish to make men infertile etc. etc.  JM is a surgeon who comes to their attention because he’s a bit too in love with his computer for the comfort of one of his more junior colleagues.  (I think it’s perfectly comprehensible & a nice guest turn, but it is hard to get hold of outside of the series DVD.  Which, being a cult TV person, I loved a lot anyway, but YMMV!)

***Hadleigh “The Caper” (S3 1973).  Hadleigh is a very middle of the road show, but watchable enough (lead is Gerald Harper, who’s always entertaining) and this is pretty self-contained as it centres around an old con-man friend (JM) of Hadleigh’s manservant causing trouble by pretending to be Gerald Harper, for reasons.  JM seems to be having a ball.

Justice 2 episodes, S3 1974.  He guests twice as an opposing barrister & gets to be part of some nice showdown court scenes.  Again, a middle of the road drama, but stars Margaret Lockwood, who was still just as awesome in the 1970s as she was in the 1930s & 40s.  On YT.

Father Brown “The Curse of the Golden Cross” (1974).  JM is an American archaeologist getting death threats; stars Kenneth More as Father Brown.  Just a note, though, that 1970s TV adaptations tended to be really really faithful and this is one of the stories where Chesterton comes out with an anti-semitic moment...  (JM was unconscious for that bit and, frankly, I envied him.)  But otherwise lots of angsting in yet another fake moustache about someone trying to kill him.

The Hanged Man “The Bridge Maker” (1975).  Confession time, I have v little idea what this one was about apart from Ray Smith being an unlikely Eastern European dictator, as this whole series went over my head and was not really my thing.  (Ask @mariocki they’re cleverer than me and liked it & can probably explain the plot!)  I don’t know if it’s available anywhere off the DVD but on a JM scale it was v good/different as he was a coldly villainous head of security & it wouldn’t be too bad to watch alone, but there was an overarching plot going on somewhere.

Doctor Who “Underworld” (1978).  This is famously one of the worst serials in the whole of classic Who, but largely because of behind-the-scenes circumstances, not the guest cast.  There is some nice stuff, though, esp in Ep1 (JM is a near-immortal alien who’d like to lay down and die but still the Quest is the Quest as they say... a lot) & it’s bound to pop up on YT or Daily Motion.  The DVD has extras that include v v brief bits of JM speaking in his actual real accent (which he otherwise does in NONE of these) & making jokes in character.  Honestly, though, this is the only DW where the behind-the-scenes doc is genuinely the most exciting bit as they desperately invented whole new technologies & methods of working to bring us this serial, and then everybody wished they hadn’t.

*** Enemy at the Door “Treason” (LWT 1978).  This is a weird episode but I love it lots - from a (v v good) series about the occupation of the Channel Islands.  (So obv warnings for WWII & Nazis.)  JM is a visiting German Generalmajor, but he’s come for a very unusual reason - to ask for help from his brother-in-law, a blackballed British army officer (Joss Ackland).  It’s all weird and low key and JM is doomed and nevertheless probably my favourite thing of his that isn’t SotT.

* The Racing Game 2 eps (1979).  Adaptation of Dick Francis’s first Sid Halley novel Odds Against (ep1) + 5 original stories for the series.  This is an interesting one - JM plays Sid’s father-in-law & they have a lovely relationship that’s central to the book BUT Dick Francis loved this adaptation and Mike Gwilym who played Sid and was inspired to write a sequel Whip Hand, which he tied in with TV canon - and adopted at least three of the cast, including JM.  Which means that all the Sid & Charles fanfic is also JM fic by default and it’s quite impressive. (There’s not much but it’s GOOD.)  On YT.

Bergerac “Treasure Hunt” (1981).  Not a major role, but pretty nice & it’s one a Christmas ep of the detective show (also set on the Channel Islands) that involved Liza Goddard’s cat burglar, which was always the best bit of Bergerac.

His guest spots in Rumpole of the Bailey (1991) “Rumpole a la Carte” and Dr Finlay (1994) are both really just cameos, but both series come round on Freeview; the Rumpole one is funny and the Dr Finlay one his last screen appearance before his death the following year.

Not worth getting just for JM: Subway in the Sky; Bill Brand and Oppenheimer.

These films only have cameos but some quite fun ones and they come around on terrestrial TV: The Damned (1962), The Evil of Frankenstein (1964) & (more briefly) Far From the Madding Crowd (1967).  (I think his cameo in Connecting Doors must be at least recognisable as someone spotted him in it just based off my gifs, but it’s not come my way yet.)  I’ve never been able to get hold of any of his radio performances, not even the 1990s one.

ETA: I forgot The Power Game! This is the one surviving series where he occurs as a semi-regular (at least until halfway through S1 when he went off to the BBC to be in the now-burninated Hunchback of Notre Dame).  This isn’t standalone, but it’s a good series and it is on YT.  See how you go with crackly old TV before you brave it but it’s the snarkiest thing ever made about people making concrete and stabbing each other in the back.  JM is a civil servant who tries to run the National Export Board and is plagued by Patrick Wymark and Clifford Evans as warring businessmen.

***

[... Well, now I just feel scary.  0_o  In my defence, I have been stuck home bored & ill for years, and often unable to watch modern TV while trying to cheer myself up with James Maxwell, so I didn’t watch all of this at once.  It just... happened eventually after SotT. /waves hand 

But if anyone feels the need to unfriend my quietly at this point, I understand. /o\]

[kisskissbanggang]

Nimble

[<10min. read, ~1.9K words -- Yogi!Ten x Neutral Reader -- Fluff, Smut -- Soft Dom/Sub, Self-Bondage, Orgasm Control, Anal Play, Overstimulation]

[Admiring Sub!Ten for Anons💕]

He was beautiful. It was really the only thing that came to mind when you went to yoga on the first day and saw Ten for the first time. How had you never noticed him on campus before? However, you quickly remembered the rule you set yourself for the year: no dating. Not after the last dumpster fire. Do a little soul searching. Surely there would be more guys like Ten around when you found yourself again. Then again, watching Ten help the instructor demonstrate poses you'd be learning by the end of the week made you feel a little lightheaded. You just vowed to walk it off.

That is, until you saw Ten at your studio art class later that day. You weren't even aware of him at first until he popped over your shoulder. "Hi!" He was stage whispering, not wanting to disturb the quiet room waiting for the studio supervisor and art professor. "You're in my yoga class, yeah? I don't know anyone here so I'm just going to sit by you." You could only nod dumbly as he took a seat next to you in the open studio.

So you became school friends. Not all at once, since you were still terrified of how pretty he was, but it did happen. Specifically, after you just so happened to watch him playfully compare scorpion poses with a cheerleader before yoga one day. Later, in the studio space, he'd crept up behind you as you were working on a portrait of your roommate's cat. "That's a grumpy cat," Ten whispered behind you, spooking you. You reflexively jerked your brush back, a practiced move after too many errant brush strokes over the years, and accidentally elbowed him square in the sternum. Ten yelped in surprise, stumbling back. Quickly, you jumped down to check on him. Ten was... Laughing. He was laughing hysterically. And you became school friends after that, Ten coming to help you with your poses during yoga and being excited when you shared your art with each other during your studio time.

Before too long, you began hanging out outside of class, too, Ten escorting you to the student cafe regularly and taking turns buying drinks. You sat, people watching, sometimes sketching but usually just talking. On this particular day, he leaned over to watch over your shoulder.

"How is that pose anatomically possible?" Ten smirked as he watched. It was a figure study, just a feminine figure whimsically posed and looking pensively out a window. Thankfully, yoga inspired more than just reflection in you. It also helped motivate you artistically.

"It's absolutely possible," you fired back, "... If not a little finessed."

"Okay, wait, let me see," Ten theatrically moved his chair in front of you, hogging your attention as he tried to shuffle into the position you'd drawn. He shifted to sit sideways in the chair, dramatically and exaggeratedly failing to do your pose before settling to just work a leg behind his head with the other struggling to keep his balance on the chair -- a wobbly eka pada sirsasana of sorts. "Yeah. There. I got it."

"Very funny."

"This is easier, even. Look, I can still comfortably drink my coffee."

It was disgusting how dirty looking at Ten made you feel sometimes, but he really was beautiful. Even doing the most mundane things, but especially working on art or practicing yoga. Just the way Ten looked at you made your heart flutter, though you still couldn't figure out what all those looks meant.

"Look," you sighed, focusing on your work again, "the next model session for the art department isn't until next week, but this is itching at me. I hate working off pictures and statues, so I'm working with what I can."

"Are you committed to drawing a feminine figure right now?"

"No, why?"

"I'll pose. I used to do it for scratch cash so it'll be easy."

"Are you sure?"

"Why not? That's what friends are for."

Ten told you you'd have to come to his room after some plans, so you didn't cross campus to his dorm until later that night. In the short time since you'd become friends, you hadn't seen his luxuriously single room with no roommates or grumpy cats. You knocked on the door. No answer. Without really knowing what compelled you to, you tried the knob. And, barring a split second of resistance, it opened.

You gasped, dropping your sketchpad in the doorway.

Ten lay sprawled out on the floor, draped over a footstool and hogtied to a timer that kept his wrists bound to a spreader bar at his raised ankles. It took you an extra second to register that he was naked, fully exposing a cock ring squeezing his erection and a vibrator pulsing firmly in his ass.

You clapped your hands over your eyes as you stepped into the room, slamming the door shut behind you.

"Ten, what the fuck?!" Only a muffled yell replied. You groaned as you peeked through your fingers, kneeling next to Ten's trembling body as you unbuckled the ball gag in his mouth. A thick string of saliva that had built up dripped from his lips and the gag onto the floor and he pulled away, gasping as he relaxed his jaw.

"Holy shit," Ten panted, "my timer failed. This is the first time ever. You were supposed to catch me cleaning up."

"What?!"

"I don't know, like a sexy 'I see how you look at me thing' and, I don't know, just help me!"

"Keys, Ten, where are the keys?"

"No clue. Haven't needed them in so long."

"You just... Do this? Regularly?" You had to admit, it looked good on him.

Ten nodded, a blush creeping through his flushed cheeks. "At least turn off the vibrator, please. I've been edging for ten minutes."

"Why can't you..." You wanted to say it. You ached to say it. Though you didn't want to admit it, you'd imagined Ten doing it countless times even before today.

"I considered it before you came in, but, you know."

"Want me to leave?"

"Just turn the vibrator off, please, I'm begging you." The words made your chest hurt. You were lightheaded again. You reached for the vibrator and the controls on its base, but the moment you touched it Ten jerked in pleasure. "Come on, come on," he pleased, "hurry and turn it off." You tried to get a handle on the vibrator again, but each time you touched him Ten shuddered under you. Anymore of this and you'd be dying as much as he was. Without even realizing, your hand drifted down between your legs.

"Oh my god, stop moving," you admonished, trying to do the right thing. You placed a firm hand on his lower back, making Ten moan deep under you, his hips rolling in response. You both froze in the moment, both debating on how to proceed.

"Please," Ten breathed. "Please" what? More? Stop? It was hard to read him.

"Please what?" Oh my god you'd said it out loud.

"Again..." Ten pleaded, pushing back against your hand that still held the vibrator in place. That was all you needed.

"But if I do that you'll cum," you playfully complained while slowly pulling the vibrator out. Ten attempted to thrust back against it but was stopped by your hand on his ass. "Or is that what you're trying to do now?"

"I want to cum," Ten moaned, "please help me cum. Fuck me and help me cum." He was a babbling mess by now. His straining cock leaked on the floor and you scooped some of his precum up and used it to wrap your hand around him. Ten's fists tightened behind his back, automatically thrusting into your hands as you pumped the vibrator back into him. "Yes, yes, yes," he moaned, desperate when you suddenly stopped. "No! No no no, please don't stop." You took a breather, cracking your knuckles and moving to sit on the floor in front of him. He looked deep into your eyes, tears welling up and biting his lip.

"Cute," you cooed. "You're so pretty. I bet you're gorgeous when you cum. If you cum. Do you want me to kiss you?" He nodded his head hard in anticipation. You kissed his forehead before gently kissing his lips. He moaned, shuddering against your mouth as you kissed and licked at him. You moved to the side of him, letting him suck on your fingers as you continued to edge him. You varied the speed and intensity of the vibrator, as well as the pace at which you fucked him. Finally, you swiveled back behind him. He gasped and whined as you pulled out the vibrator entirely. His cute, aching hole gaped and you scooped up more of Ten's precum from his tip to spread around his rim. He cried out at the feel of your fingers. He practically screamed when he felt your tongue run over his entrance next. Ten pushed desperately back against your starving tongue, nearly crying when you occasionally pulled away to let him come back down.

He'd had enough. Ten's breathing was ragged and he sounded like he was nearly in pain by now. You replaced your tongue with your fingers, immediately starting with two since he'd already stretched himself open so well. He thrashed and bucked, trying to get more of you faster so he could cum. "Don't stop, don't stop," Ten moaned loudly, nearly screaming when his cock finally erupted. You quickly dipped your hand down between his legs, catching as much as you could in your palm. Ten gasped for air after his orgasm washed over him, suddenly tensing when he felt the tip of the vibrator slip into him, crying out again when you turned it onto its highest setting. His cock leaked more cum he didn't even know he had as you slid back in front of him.

"Are you okay?" You asked. Ten nodded tersely as he grunted through the overstimulation. "Is it possible for you to cum again?" He eyed you suspiciously, biting his lip as he nodded again, even more suspicious when you smiled. "Good. Lick my hand clean before I see if you're right and we do this all over again." The look in Ten's eyes suggested furious admiration as well as fierce lust as he lunged forward for your hand. He hungrily lapped at your palm, whining from the severe pleasure coursing through him. Just to be safe, he sucked your fingers dry for good measure before you finally turned off the vibrator and gently slid it out of him.

You were just about to inspect Ten's cuffs again and help calm him down when he wriggled under you, rotating his wrist to click open the latch holding the cuffs to the spreader bar. "Here, let me," he said softly and pulled his arms away, twisting and manipulating his limbs in their sockets until he worked his hands back in front himself and carefully knelt back up. Double-jointed. Of course. "I guess I panicked and forgot I could do that." His shit-eating grin spoke volumes as he collapsed into you and flicked open the safety locks. "Was that a good pose?" Ten laughed breathlessly, yelping when you playfully grabbed his recovering dick.

[zpetra]

GP Helsinki Journal - Day 4 & 5

So, I am finally getting to this as well, it has been a while now but sorting through my pictures took me longer than I wanted and life didn’t exactly stop after Helsinki XD Please excuse.

After an incredible and tiring Saturday, I woke up after a few hours of sleep. While I had a generous window between arrival at stay and leaving the next day the excitement didn’t let me sleep. I woke up at 7 a.m, got ready, grabbed some left over sandwiches for breakfast and left to the arena shortly after 8 a.m. Since the first men’s group took the ice at 9 a.m and Keiji was in the group I had to make sure I was there on time. Luckily the line (at least when I joined) in front of the Ice Hall was fairly okay. Grabbed some water once inside and took my seat, greeting all the Japanese ladies once they arrived.

DAY 4 - Sunday

Group 1 practice - Keiji Tanaka

While I am sad he was not in the top to be in Group 2, I was also happy because now I could concentrate on him, without any further distractions (Mr. Hanyu).

I really like this costume on Keiji, he looked like a fairy-tale prince and while his practice did look wobbly here and there, especially his 3A, I was worried for him but I was rooting for him because he is a good skater and deserves good scores. I filmed his run-through and took more photos of him, he is really handsome, I have to say, also the ladies next to me said the same. So there is that. XD

Group 2 - when the TCC family walks in

Nothing can describe the sound of shutters of cameras going off when Yuzuru walks in but today he did walk in with Jun and boy.... I had an existential crisis who to film or take pictures from. I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS AMOUNT OF STRESS OKAY? I was so happy when I had both of them in frame XD

It was also incredible to watch how they navigate with the coaches, rarely did you see them standing by the boards or simply replaced each other once the other left and Brian and Ghislain had their attention on the current skater, not loosing a beat. Also I saw so much respect from Jun and Yuzu towards each other, making sure both get time to consult with their coaches, give them room on the ice. It reminded me of how Javi and Yuzu used to navigate around in the past. I had feels!!

At one point during the practice Jun choked on his water or spilled it and it ran down his chin, resulting in a giggle fest in our block, while my picture is blurry I can’t forget how embarrassed he looked and quickly made a run for it, I caught a glimpse of Brian holding back his own laughter. Jun is adorable, officially obsessed with him. Not like I wasn’t slightly biased towards him before but now, I am sold. SUPPORT THE BABE HE IS GOOD AND ADORABLE TOO!

I have to admit me filming Jun run-through was a disaster... I tried to film but also watch Yuzu and I may have lost Jun a few times, I don’t dare to re-watch the footage because WOW, I failed XD but I got a few nice shots of his jumps and I was overall happy with it, he looked good with a few mistakes and some butt-slides. I have pictures of some ice flakes on his booty, which he is trying to brush off. I APOLOGIZE. 

And than there is Yuzuru Hanyu. Just like the other days I was impressed, amazed and kept swooning. My view still couldn’t be quite beaten and god... I could write an essay of everything, it was overwhelming.

THE WAIST - that’s the comment, that is all I will say. It is ridiculous and every guy who sees it has to admit he looked good.

Filmed his free run-through again and it is scary how nearly identical it is to his actual program.

Watching Yuzu do his cool-down exercise is mesmerizing. Wow. I swear there is so much to see when he is on ice, he is so expressive both when he is disappointed with a jump, the ice conditions, really everything.

Men’s Free Skate Competition

Group 1

Oh boy, it was kind of heart-breaking as the guys were falling apart. Keiji fought hard but unfortunately... it didn’t look all too good for him to podium and my worry for Jun and Yuzu grew even more. Watching Keiji in the Kiss & Cry was so sad, I tried to be loud for him as much as possible because he FOUGHT. He did well!

Group 2

I never thought I would say this but it is INCREDIBLE AWKWARD TO WATCH HIS DEMONIC LIP SYNCING... Wow. I had second hand embarrassment but I am also a person who mouths along to music on public transportation so I could also relate. It was a weird feeling. Also Jun was so chill about it, he is probably over it, used to it. I was laughing so hard.

Mr. Hanyu came for murder while Jun looked like an adorable puppy and I was dying on the inside and outside.

BABY JUN DID SO WELL, HE DID SO WELL. I WAS SO PROUD OF HIM AND GIVEN HIS HIGHS SCORE I KNEW HE WOULD PODIUM; WHICH IN SO INCREDIBLE FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS BACK-TO-BACK GP ASSIGNMENTS ON DIFFERENT CONTINENTS!!! And it turned out he was having a cold and my respect and admiration flew out of the window! I regret not having had a plush for him, next time I will do better!

And soon it was going to be this guys turn... Origin hair *drools* I am sorry but living for it.

ORIGIN COSTUME IS LIFE! I swear to God, the pictures do not do it justice, they don’t but I am happy I got a fairly good costume reveal camera roll for myself - I posted it here  - BLING CITY

AND THAN MR. FUCKING HANYU SLAYED US ALL. I swear I was deaf for a moment, nor did I have voice afterwards. My fitness tracker yet again thought I was running, nope I was just that excited. I broke out in a sweat and was ready to take off my jacket because that Free was....

190.43 POINTS A NEW WORLD RECORD 297.12 COMBINED TOTAL ALSO A NEW WORLD RECORD

You do witness such incredible performances any day let alone in person. I was so damn happy I was close to tears. Followed by laughter because Yuzuru shook Pooh-san so hard in the K&C I thought he would lose his head. XD

I threw my pooh and managed to fling it into the general direction of the K&C and I hope I didn’t clonk the waiting coaches, have not seen footage so I guess I did alright? XD

I was ecstatic and so was everyone around me, the arena was shaking or at least it felt like so. Yuzuru Hanyu is incredible.

I felt a bid bad for Michal for skating after him because I felt the attention was not utterly on him but hey I was so happy I screamed for him like a madman, also he was AMAZING TOO. Group 2 slayed... aside from Boyang and Kolyada, those two had a bad day :(

THE VICTORY CEREMONY WAS SO CUTE! There is so much footage out there but it was adorable. Jun and Yuzu full on hug? Axel-ing onto the podium? Podium selfie? Michal switching to Japan because he had no flag but than got one from a fan and the crowd was so happy for him! GHISLAIN DROP THE SELFIE. The fact Jun kept his SCI flag? The way Yuzu happily shook his shoulders before his name was called. 

YUZURU HANYU MAKING THE SUN JEALOUS WITH HIS SMILE. FIRST TIME HE WON HIS FIRST GP ASSIGNMENT SINCE HE GOT TO SENIORS WITH 3 WR ON TOP. BOY!!!

My cheeks were hurting and just... I have to repeat but it was incredible. Truly.

I was high on adrenaline and the Gala was meant to follow. 

WTF WAS THAT GALA? I WAS DYING. IT WAS SO GOOD. The performances, naked Italians, Gaming performance feat the Russian male skaters? KEIJI!

FUCKING KEIJI TURNING UP THE CHARM AND MAKING EVERYONE SWOON. I am happy he did his smirk on the other side of the Kiss & Cry because I felt it from the distance and looking at the footage, HIS SMIRK AFTER!. He knew what he was doing that little shit. If I hear that song now all I see his Keiji charming everyone. Wow.

Helsinki gala was the best I have seen this season and I am not saying it because I was there! 

It all came down to Haru Yo Koi....

I am usually not an emotional person who cries but 3 tunes in and I couldn’t see shit. Even now as I am recalling, it is such an incredible program, the softness, the elegance the meaning behind it all, his soft smiles. I didn’t intend to film but ended up taking my phone out and while miss like 20 seconds from the beginning I think I did a pretty good recording of it, for myself to enjoy. I was fighting the tears and some did fall, me not being the only one. HYK is just...beauty. It’s pure beauty. 

And than during the Finale...>.> He does a LGC slide in the a fairy costume, runs his hand through his hair turning up the charm like Keiji did... wow, I felt attacked. XD I guess we also can’t have now a finale where this sunshine doesn’t get lifted. BUT HE WASN’T JUST LIFTED BY ONE BUT TWO IN A FREAKING MERMAID POSITION! OMG. HE WAS LIVING THE BEST TIME OF HIS LIFE AND I WAS LIVING FOR THAT! 

After the Gala I was hurrying away, somehow catching the first tram because it was late and I had to wake a few hours later to catch my plane back home. I ended up being so high on the excitement, I barely managed to catch like 2,5 hours of sleep. T.T It was worth it and I would do it again.

DAY 5 - Monday

Queue me dragging my ass out of bed after like 2,5 hours of sleep to finish packing, double checking I didn’t leave anything behind and leave to the train station. First train to the Airport leaving at 4:18am. I was so happy I ended up taking the day free because fuck I was done. Bought myself water and coffee , ignoring the horrendous price I had to pay for it... and off I went.

Security check-in was chill which I appreciated a lot, got a few souvenirs, had expensive breakfast and more coffee. Boarding started 10min before scheduled departure... guess which plane didn’t leave on time? ON ANOTHER NOTE: Nobuaki Tanaka the sport photographer who shoots at FAOI (is responsible for a gorgeous Yuzu x Javi picture) was on my plane! I tried not to stare too much LOL. Full plane, landing late somewhere in the middle of no-where. Rolling around for ages, followed by a long bus ride... train waiting time taking ages... It was like 11am I was home and I was dead. I wouldn’t have been able to go to work afterwards. 

Conclusion - Final thoughts:

IT WAS THE BEST WEEKEND OF MY ENTIRE LIFE AND BARELY ANYTHING WILL BE ABLE TO TOP THIS!!!!

I knew I will have an amazing time because I will see Yuzuru in person but I didn’t expect it all go down the way it did. Meeting so many lovely fans, the Japanese ladies giving International fans so many things, me too. Practicing my Japanese and happy it is actually any good. Watching Yuzu win his first GP assignment in a season, let alone 2 WR winning programs. Finding so many new amazing skaters I like now and want to support. It was truly amazing. Wort every single penny, lack of sleep, overflow of emotions. Best time.

Thank you to those who made it special, the members of our fangroup and people I have met in general. They all added to the experience. I know for sure that I will try to go to more events next season.

I guess all there is left to say... Until Europeans 2019 in Minsk. If anyone is going let me know! I am going to support Javi for his very last competition.

[darkblueocean]

timeline

:)

may 19th

-workout party

-played catch

-beer pong

-flip cup

-fought outside

-she ss the snapchat with me in it bc she thought i was cute

june 2nd

-saturday morning workout

-we were partners ( she was more focused on me than on the workout)

-braided my hair in starbucks afterwards

june 8th

-held my hand during the movie (Ocean's 8)

-followed me from Melia's room to Arissa's bc i couldn't sleep

-under the dino blanket she stuck her tongue out and i touched mine to hers

-she grabbed my face and kissed me on the lips 3 times in a row

-i kept trying to kiss her, this is were "nope" "yep" & "please" started bc she kept saying nope and turning her face away from mine until i said please

-both of us were too afraid to kiss the other goodbye

june 13th

-she came over for our first sleepover here

-we kissed a lot

-we went swimming in the pool here, we found out later that someone had pooped in it

-i held her all night and we both had an amazing sleep

june 20th

-we picked her up from bailey's house because linda was late

-we hung out here and kissed and talked a lot

-we went to macaroni grill with cayman and jacob, but only i ate

-we held hands under the table for a while

-we saw incredibles 2 and i had my arm around her for most of it

-i kissed the top of her head a lot during the movie

-she slept over again and i held her all night

-she woke me up by playing with my chin, but she doesn't remember doing it

-i later found out that she was gonna wake me up with a kiss but she got too nervous

-we kissed a lot before linda came

-we had our first goodbye kiss downstairs because no one was home

june 25th

-day before we left for europe

-came over to hangout before we left for 3 weeks

-lots of kisses and holding each other

-she stayed here when i went with cayman to get chipotle

-she thought my mom and dad were mad at her because her dad was really late coming to get her

-i fell asleep well she was holding me

-kissed her goodbye again

-later found out that she was gonna ask me out that night but she didn't want anything to wreck the night

july 18th

-we saw Jurassic World 2

-we barely watched because we were kissing a lot

-i was holding her during the movie

-i fell asleep when she was holding me

-we went to petco and pet cats, named turtles, and looked at fish and lizards

-we were gonna go to chuck e. cheese but we took one step inside and we left

-we went to ihop and tried the burger which was ok

-we went to the target attached to topanga mall

-we walked around the mall and around the village

-drove her home but we "went around the block" so we could spend more time together

-we kissed in the car

july 19th

-i visited her at work

-brandi wouldn't leave the front so stevi told me to go to the bathroom

-she met me in there and we talked for a few mins and i hugged her, which turned into me kissing her

-i said "hey, will you go out with me?" before i could even finish she said yes

-we kissed some more but then she had to go

-i left while she was busy ringing someone up so she just smiled and waved at me

july 22nd

-we saw Hotel Transylvania 3, which was so bad it was funny

-she kissed me first in the movie theater, even though we sat all the way at the front

-i smiled for most of the movie bc i was so happy to be with her

-we went to jamba juice after and she spilled her smoothie on herself

-we went to the park afterwards but we couldn't go on the swings bc there were too many little kids

-i drove her home and we "went around the block" so we could kiss more

-in the car she said “hey, will you go out with me?” i obviously said yes

august 4th

-workout

-hugged each other when i first got there

-we were partners the whole time

-lots of smiles and laughs

-we both wanted to kiss each other but we couldn’t

-workout party

-didn’t really talk a lot at the beginning bc my twins were being weird

-i sprayed her with a lil bottle of water and we had a lil water fight

-she hugged me when she was soaking wet

-we were partners for the game outside

-gave her a shower in the front yard, when she was rinsing off in the shower i wanted to kiss her

-put my head in her lap after zoey screamed, she kept grabbing my cheeks and her eyes were very dilated and we were holding hands super lowkey

-she sat in my lap outside and i lowkey held her, i kissed the side of her head and we both said i love you, i told her i wanted to grab her face

-she was playing jenga so i sat next to her and i put my hand on her leg and she told me after she wanted to hold it but she couldn’t

-she told funcle she wanted to show him the pants she ripped when she sprained her ankle so i went with her to get them and right before she could leave i said hey and then i grabbed her face and we kissed a little bit in their room

-she said we should go take a streak picture so i followed her to the bathroom and she closed the door behind us

-i grabbed her face and kissed her and after a minute we took a picture, she kept kissing me after and while kissing her i pulled her waist towards me and then she did the same thing to me, it felt really good

-i sorta held her on alyssa’s bed while we were watching the greatest showman but then we had to leave

-i hugged her goodbye, but no kiss this time

august 17th/18th

-came over for a sleepover

-we watched friends for a while and kissed downstairs

-came upstairs to take a nap but we ended up just kissing and talking the whole time

-we went to chipotle to pick up dinner, we came home and ate it

-she played some tyler the creator for me in the car, and she was scared i wouldn’t like it but i did and she looked really happy and cute singing along

-we came home and after dinner we had some shots

-we got super drunk and we were kissing a lot, shirts came off but everything else stayed on

-i went on top of her and she really liked it, we both got some hickeys

-i finally had the courage to say “stevi justice, im in love with you” she said the same back and that she had wanted to tell me for a long time but she was scared i didn’t feel the same way

-while we were kissing we grabbed each others butts and apparently i kept asking her if everything we did was ok bc i didnt want to make her uncomfortable

-we talked about spending the rest of our lives together, we took some pictures but only a few turned out ok

-she drank too much so we sat on the bathroom floor and i held her and her hair back while she threw up

-we fell asleep there until i woke up in the middle of the night and told her to go to my bed, she could barely stand so i was helping her up and she laid down on the bed facedown but when i went next to her she moved so i could hold her

-in the morning i woke up before her and she looked so perfect as she slept, i kissed her lips and she kissed me back then she opened her eyes, smiled at me and closed her eyes again

-we just talked about the night before and then we went downstairs and watched friends and i held her as she took a nap

-we kissed goodbye and then she left with linda

august 24th/25th

-my twins house for a sleepover

-slept together on the air mattress

-kissed in the bathroom once everyone went to sleep

-she told me about the mall and friendsgiving

-tried to go to the bathroom at starbies after workout so we could kiss but the line was too long

-we both told our twins on the 25th

september 1st

-stevi’s bday

-saw each other at workout

-hit her water bottle out of her hand so i could hold it

-threw water at her after coffee bean

-came back to hangout at 1:30, had to keep her out of the house so they could set up for the party

-saw a ww2 movie but we were kissing the whole time

-she held me so i fell asleep on her

-we went to jamba juice after and hung out

-drove around her neighborhood until we found a safe place to park, we sat in the car talking and kissing for 20 mins

-brought her home by 6 and went to the backyard for her surprise party

-we managed to sneak off a few times to kiss

-my twins were being kinda weird so emily and alyssa invited me to spend the night there

-stevi and i slept on the futon together and i held her all night

september 2nd/3rd

-we met up in the arcade at santa monica pier

-i met jennifer (stevi told me after that she was very excited to meet me and kept asking where i was)

-we drove stevi back home with us and we held hands in the car

-her and rimp talked a lot and they all were making fun of me for liking country roads

-once we got home we all stayed down stairs and were chatting for a while

-kissed stevi a lot once we got upstairs

-she laughed for like 10mins straight which was super cute, she looked really happy

-i couldn’t stop smiling when i was looking at her

-i got to hold her all night

-woke up with kisses in the morning

-we brushed our teeth together then came back to bed so we could kiss and listen to music

-rimp called us downstairs to help make the food for the beach but i took like 5 mins bc i didn’t wanna stop kissing her

-it felt comfortable having her around mom and dad, you could tell they both like her

-we shared a bagel and i learned that she likes yellow gatorade

-we came upstairs to get ready and i just wanted to kiss her more so we did that for awhile

-we held hands on the way to the beach

-we played catch with the football then we swam for a long time and we kissed in the water

-dried off, ate a little bit and then we played beach volleyball on the same team

-she kept missing the ball and was dying laughing every time, it was so cute

-we played the license plate game for a long time too (punch each other when you see an out of state plate)

-we held hands in the car on the way back to stevi’s house

i’m ending the timeline because i remember every moment that i have with her so i don’t see the point of writing them down anymore. this would get really long anyways, because forever is a really fucking long time.

[ash-travels-peru]

Day 5: Miraflores and Larcomar Mall

Today was a much slower paced day! We certainly didn’t rush anywhere. Bella woke around 5am and Dad accidentally rang me at 6:30am...I was certainly awake after that! We didn’t end up heading to breakfast until about 9:30am and after enjoying the awesome brekky, we sat and chatted. We didn’t end up leaving the breakfast table until 11:45!! I then spent a solid 30mins on the phone in order to change my flight on Sunday to Cuzco, so I arrived in the morning rather than the afternoon. 

Our rumbling tummies encouraged us to leave the hotel, and we did so at about 1pm. Bella had done extensive instagram research and found an awesome restaurant called ‘Tanta’ at the Larcomar Mall (about a 10min walk from our accommodation). The walk took us about 20mins because we tried to scout for a good coffee shop en route and ended up ducking into an optometrist to try on some funky, bright electric blue glasses! There was about a 20min waiting time at Tanta, so we put our name down and explored the shopping centre for that time. Neither of us could believe the strong asian influence on cuisine. Most restaurants were Chinese, Japanese or a mix with Peruvian cuisine. The shops were also very western...but there was an Ugg shop! I think the shop assistants were a little confused at why I was so excited to tell them that I was Australian. 

Lunch at Tanta was pretty tasty, I now understand why Lima is renown for its food!! Bella and I both ordered Pisco Sours and I got Lomo Saltado with rice and Bella ordered a sandwhich. The food was so flavoursome and certainly an improvement on the shitty soy pasta I had the night before. The two of us shared a desert. I loved how when we asked to see the menu, like in Europe, the waiter brought us a tray with one of each desert on it. We chose a chocolate tart with some yellow looking wedges on it. We picked the tart because apparently it was indicative of ‘Peruvian Cuisine, but I’m still a little confused as to what that cuisine actually entails. I had no idea what to expect, but the orange things turned out to be a dense moose and it turned into a competition to see which of us could eat more of the tart without the other noticing (it was that good!). 

The other two girls from uni, Rosie and Jo joined us during lunch. Poor Rosie ordered a cappuccino and all hope of finding decent coffee in Lima was dashed. We decided to walk off lunch and headed along the boardwalk that went over the bridge and led to the Parque del Amor. The scenery and foreshore was breathtaking, although the sky made it seem a little moody. There were lots of para-gliders flying overhead and although I was keen to go paragliding, I don’t think it was covered by my insurance. Neither is horse riding! Although it was my second time at the Parque del Amor, it was even more beautiful the second time I went. There were more couples getting into their PDA’s (public display of affection) this time, and I almost felt as though my presence interrupted their intimacy. Oh well, their displays of affections turned out to be good subjects for some of my photos.  

We had intended to do the free walking tour of Barranco, the boho district of Lima at 4pm. It was already 3:35pm by the time we had finished at the Parque del Amor. According to google maps, it was a 1hr 36min walk or a 35min taxi ride to the meeting point. We decided that instead of rushing and completely missing the tour, that instead we would do it tomorrow (Saturday afternoon). To pass the rest of the afternoon, the four of us walked back along the board walk and visited the craftsman markets above Larcomar mall that I visited earlier. On the walk back, we tried some ‘Inca Cola’. Its a bright yellow (looks like urine to be precise) and smells and tastes like creaming soda. I’m not a fan of soft dirnk to begin with...so a tiny sip was more than enough for me! I felt like I had to finish a bottle of water to get the sickly sweet taste out of my mouth. At that markets, we all bought some stuff! I bought some funky, geometric silver earrings because the shape reminded me of all the ‘trapezoids’ I saw at the Nazca Lines. I also bought a little inca figure for my charm bracelet - my parents, friends and family purchase me a charm from everywhere I have been and the bracelet is full of some of my very happy memories! Jo and Rosie bought some crocheted bags...and Bella bought apples. 

It was about 5:30pm and we were all knackered! Jo had walked more than 14,000 steps and therefore, physical exercise was over for the day (hahaha). The four of us split into our pairs and headed back to our accommodation. Bella napped for a few hours and I used the time to catch up on my journal and read some books. I finished the Handmaid’s Tale...would recommend! It reminded me of 1984, but this time was a mysogynist dystopia rather than a political one. It was the first book I had read on my new kindle and it finished unexpectedly because my kindle was saying I still had 7% to read. I didn’t realise that it counted all the author’s notes that followed the text! 

Bella woke from her nap at about 9pm and we were both starving! We did some more research, but all the top 50 restaurants in the world, and top 50 restaurants in South America were either closed or booked out. Bella, and her amazing research skills, discovered a super nice restaurant that was only a two block walk from our accommodation. We rang and the restaurant, Amaz, had free bookings at 10:10pm!!! We were dressed within minutes and on our way to food!! The restaurant was brightly coloured, with aqua coloured walls and a stretched canvas with hot pink hummingbirds on it! The bar was lit by lights with what looked like tissue paper lampshades and matching bright green tissue paper frogs!! The menu had an amazon theme/inspiration and we tried some pretty interesting, but awesome flavours! We each ordered a cocktail. I can’t remember what mine was called because the menu was in Spanish and I ordered whatever the waiter recommended. Our drinks had ice in it, and Bella remembered after we started drinking that we weren’t allowed to drink the local water! The waiters did not even try to hide their laughter when we asked for a separate glass in which we scooped the ice from our drinks. My cocktail dramatically decreased in size when the ice was out. 

For entree, Bella and I shared ceviche. I’m not the biggest fan of fish but I was dying to try this local dish. As the fish is raw (and cooked in the acid of the lime juice), Bella and I decided that if we had it at a more upmarket restaurant, there was less chance of dying or feeling sick (which proved to be correct)! There was slightly candied banana, chilli, coriander, red onion and spring onion and lime juice! It was light and tangy and all round, pretty snazzy. For main, we shared a duck curry with rice and different species of mushroom that had been baked in some lead (perhaps a banana leaf)? The meal was the most delicious I had had all trip and my opinion of Lima dramatically increased!! We did not have dessert because we already felt ready to roll out of the restaurant!! We did not eat at a top award winning restaurant, but it was certainly an up market place! Our bill totalled 208soles, which converted to something like $42 each. It was so cheap!!! So much for avocado being the only food to prevent me from ever owning property in Sydney (hahahah).

We made our way leisurely back to the hotel, very satisfied and very pleased with the world! It was bed and lights out not long after!! 

[theleftoverurl]

My goodness, do I have a lot of updates queued on my life hahaha. I’ve just been so busy over the last 3 days, and I wanted to update what I’ve been up to, but I had to finish my Onc-Pall assignment, so here we are finally.

On Thursday night, Claudooey, Kate and I had pizza and Pimm’s at the Whitehouse, because it was the Whitehouse’s 7th birthday, and then Clauds slept over at ours. We got back pretty early, but Kate and Claudia were super tired and so they went to bed pretty early and the night was actually kind of listless after we got back from the Whitehouse. I watched some TV in bed because it was so early. At 8, I got my friends up and said goodbye because I had to get to Calvary for CPCT. They were off to Bondi Junction and Coogee for coffee and some shopping and I was lowkey jealous and sad because I felt like I didn’t get to bond with Claudia as much as I wanted to, but I gave her a hug and thought at least I would see her at REXTAB (but I didn’t because she hurt her ankle last minute and decided not to go).

The journey to Calvary was uneventful, but I was excited for CPCT because it’s palliative care home visits, and Will and Kuheli both said that it was the best part of the palliative care term, and everybody wanted to go, like Leonard was mad that he didn’t get to because it wasn’t on his timetable. I was cutting it a bit fine public transport-wise – I had to get to Calvary by 9:30 and when I arrived at Kogarah it was 9:35, but it only takes 8min to bus there, so I figured I would be okay. I sat at the bus stop till 9:40, and the bus still hadn’t come which struck me as odd. I was also now panicking that I would be too late for CPCT, so I rang Calvary in advance, and the nurse who picked up said not to worry, the team would wait for me, but 2min later, Quinlan texts, saying that the team is leaving now, and they were looking for me. I message back explaining my situation, that the bus hadn’t come, and then realise that oh shit, I’ve been standing at the wrong bus stop. I race to the correct one, only to find out that the bus doesn’t come until 9:53. I message Quinlan I’ll be there by 10, but I get the impression that the team will have left by then – no confirmation either way from Q though.

I race into Calvary and to the CPCT office. Quinlan answers the door, and instead of letting me talk to anyone else, he blocks the door with his body and tells me to go find Jane Marre. I figure she’s my CPCT nurse (although I can’t really work out why I couldn’t have just gone with his team) and head up to level 3 to try and find her. I see an office on level 3 and ask for Jane Marre, but nobody knows who she is. I tell them she’s from CPCT and they try to lead me back down to level 2. By now I’m really frustrated because I know this is a pointless exercise because she’s not on level 3 or 2 meaning she’s probably left. Quinlan answers the door again and won’t let the man helping me find her (Albert) or me in and repeats what he said before. We head back up to level 3 and it’s only as we’re walking past all of the doors with the nameplates that Albert realises that I’m asking for Jan Maree, the coordinator of the course. He drops me at her office, and as soon as she answers she knows what’s up because of Quinlan and my phone call and I just know now it’s all too late because Jan isn’t the nurse waiting for me and now I’m going to be stuck on ward rounds and I’m so tired and frustrated that all these tears start to well up in my eyes and then I’m crying over public transport when there are people literally dying around me throughout the palliative care hospital.

Jan is a bit shook and so is Albert, so Albert gets me a glass of water and Jan sits me down and we have a chat about how hard life is for interstate students because we have the same problems as international students but no support (something I do feel is true, but was irrelevant to my current tears) and she kept emphasizing I wasn’t in trouble for being late, but I was too gaspy and teary to explain I wasn’t sad about that, I was sad that I missed an opportunity I was actually excited for and I felt cheated because I had fucked up the bus stop but I had been travelling here for 2 hours straight and I rang the hospital up and I talked to Q, so I honestly didn’t feel like I could have done anything earlier or quicker to get here on time, given I was so tired from all the previous day’s 9-4s. She asked me about breakfast and I said I hadn’t had any, so she brought me a piece of cake and let me clean myself up in the staff bathroom before putting me on a ward round with Will, one of the regs.

The ward round was alright, I was tearful through the first patient but really pulled myself together because I had to. His ward round was worth joining because there were a few families who had come in to thank Calvary specifically for the role they had in giving their relatives a good death and they were joking about having a membership to all come in later and it just really highlighted how important a good death was and the impact the high level of care had made on the families. I also got to see 2 terminally ill patients, and they were very at peace, which kind of counteracted the way I saw death as a bit violent and painful, like someone struggling to breathe, but I think all of that’s from the movies. In the end, dying can be painless and peaceful if all the symptoms are managed appropriately, and I really think it took seeing the dying patients at peace to realise that. Will was intimidated enough by Jan Maree that he upped their morphine doses, because she was the doc on-call over the weekend and he knew that he was being too conservative about the morphine, probably because he was more inexperienced than Jan Maree. I left his round early to try and get some lunch, but I just wanted to see my friends because I missed them.

I checked the conference room and the board rooms, but they weren’t there, and I couldn’t find anyone until I spotted them at the end of Frank Brennan’s round, which I did yesterday. Because I couldn’t find anybody else, I jumped in for the same stories that I heard yesterday – Frank went over the long-term and short-term effects of using steroids: hypertension, diabetes and Cushing’s syndrome, central adiposity + nape fat pad, proximal myopathy, sleep disturbance and immunosuppression. And he went a bit further and told us in an exam to say we would monitor blood glucose, BP and white cells, which makes sense but was a good thing to add. He then told the story of William Osler and Harvey Cushing and how Harvey was really into the pituitary gland and looked after William Osler’s son during WWII. Despite his best efforts however, Osler’s son died. He wrote Osler’s biography and won a Pulitzer for it which is rare for a doctor. Then some other guy comes along and writes Cushing’s biography and is so into their story that he writes one for Osler too, so now there are two side-by-side companion histories. I love Dr Brennan’s stories and history because I think that medical history being taught is so rare but also interesting.

After the ward round was over, Leonard and I tried to get a flu jab upstairs, but they couldn’t give them to us as there had been a power outage for 3 hours the night before and they didn’t know if their flu shots had kept. We went back to the conference room but took a detour to the chapel, which was very tall and circular, but quite nice really. We poked around some of the hymn books and then headed. I scabbed lunch off all my friends because I was too cheap to buy it from the café and it was very expensive and quite average. I had free Arnott’s biscuits from a bowl in the conference room, and then Daniel gave me the remainder of his soybeans, Steph gave me an Uncle Toby’s muesli bar and Leonard gave me half a mandarin. Not bad work for a scab. Lunch conversation was good and chill, but Alicia heard that I cried and put her hand comfortingly on my back twice which was gross. I hate her so much at this point that her touch revulsed me. I’m not sure why I have such a negative reaction to her when there are equally terrible people, but I find her personality so toxic that just being around her is draining.

We had to present a topic and last night when Kate and Claudia went to bed early, I tidied up our presentation and pimped it out with spicy depression memes and cute graphics, so I was feeling pretty good about ours even though it was on the fly. They were only supposed to be 5-10min long apparently, but everyone (typical meddies) had missed the memo and provided like hugely boring 30min long talks on pharmacology and other things. Ours had the least info but was entertaining because of my fantastic memes (hehehe) so at the end when we had just emphasized that diagnostic criteria is bad for cancer patients with depression so you have to use your common sense when diagnosing it, Jan Maree actually said it was the best presentation they’d had in awhile from students. Probably true, because I can imagine there’s generally little effort put in, med students have no sense of humour, and our question wasn’t really very hard, so it was good that we managed to get people listening (particularly the Sutherland kids, because they would have wanted to pay no attention, knowing our topic had less substance). Afterwards we had a wrap-up and Jan Maree went around the room saying what we had learned from our time at Calvary. It was all basic and then Alicia had a cry about a dead family member and how good palliative care here was comparative to Malaysia and I actually just felt disgusted like she was crying to steal the limelight. Like I don’t know, obviously, and I should have given her the benefit of the doubt, but I don’t like her so much that I wasn’t even sympathetic like Kuheli, I just felt nothing and a part of me believes she’s putting it on. Isn’t it shit that you’re such a bad person people don’t even believe you’re genuine when you show a huge genuine emotion like crying? Or am I the shit one?

Anyway, I had Med Revue at 7:30 and Leonard dropped Will, Kuheli and I at uni because he had tutoring up that way anyway, so I persuaded them to kill time with me by coming to dinner. It was fucking freezing outside so we sat in Kuheli’s room for half an hour while I lead the most roundabout conversation about where we should go for dinner (which was partly Kuheli’s fault because she didn’t suggest anything, just shot down my suggestions, and then Will wasn’t like concrete on whether or not he wanted Chinese because he was too shy to protest and I was being contradictory just to waste time which is dumb). Then we went down to Anzac Parade and stopped at Chatime for hot bubble tea, which was a novelty to me. The first time ever that Kuheli has not had bubble tea and I have! It was just too cold, and she didn’t want to try a hot one (although Will had cold coconut tea which is interesting). I ordered a hot premium milk tea and the bubbles weren’t that weird warm, but I got 30% sugar and a boring flavour, so it was kind of anticlimactic – just warm tea with the pearls. It was too much milky liquid too, so in the end I sucked up all the bubbles and threw the rest away.

Then we headed to Dong Dong Noodles, because apparently, we got a MedSoc discount there (we forgot to try). Will was super happy with the choice because apparently all the food offered was quite legit and traditional and they even gave us free clear soup at the start which is a thing for high-class Chinese establishments even though obviously Dong Dong wasn’t high class. I had a roast duck laksa and the taste and portion size was lit. Kuheli had black pepper honey chicken and Will had egg gravy and rice, like the stuff you put on your hor fun but rice instead which was also good. Dinner was nice to hang out and then after we went to the Asian Supermarket and I was roped into buying more things out of curiosity as usual – I bought something called Knorr like a tom yum flavoured stock cube and stocked up on 2 min noodles and bought some Hello Panda biscuits for nostalgia’s sake.

It was sadly too cold for frozen yoghurt, so we said goodbye to Will and I headed back up to Kuheli’s to pick up my stuff and then head to Med Revue. The line outside the Science Theatre was fucked. It was incredibly long and Yuri and her friends hadn’t reached yet because they’d gone for dinner, so I waited in line by myself. Hei Wai saw me and came up to say hello, which was such a lovely gesture from him. We had a chat about our med lives and I gushed a bit about St. George and he told me he was still at POW and then he went back to talk to his friends. I was really touched he came up to say hi.

I met Yuri, Ash, Rochelle and a couple of their friends from Fig – a guy called Jeff and a couple of other boys just in the theatre and I gave them all a hug and they were actually so friendly. Ash and I had a chat about GHSC and what I missed on Thursday night whilst I was with Clauds (a talk on climate change apparently, interesting but one to miss) and then I met Rochelle properly, like we had our first proper conversation together and she’s super nice and has the personality of an ex-pres at Fig I felt. Med Revue itself had some hits and misses. Some of the jokes were hilarious but some just went over my head. The dancing was pretty good – not as good as Penrhos but still high quality. I think my expectations were just too high from Med Revue in first year (the last time I went) but Yuri explained that was like a “best of 5 years” Med Revue which was why it was so good. There was brief interest in a scandal Kuheli tagged us in – Tharunka, one of the student newspapers had a guy go in on an earlier night and he felt victimised by some of the black jokes in the revue and so he wrote this article and complained to Med Revue, so they removed the jokes and probably tamed down the show a bit which is a bit of a shame. Since, MedSoc posted on Facebook saying they were not really associated with Med Revue, were disappointed in the jokes and the revue itself is mostly not med students and has other faculties. Whilst I’m sure other faculty students do perform as well, I’m personally certain that it’s mainly med students, so good try, MedSoc. Anyway, I there was mixed reactions to the controversy. When I read the article, Ash and Rochelle and I agreed that the jokes published were racist and should have been removed and Rochelle said that every year when she goes she thinks she won’t go to the next one because of the levels of racism, but always ends up going anyway lmao. Then as I shivered at the bus stop I texted Fenton about it and his reaction was people basically need thicker skins and we agreed that a large part of Med Revue has always been racist jokes and honestly there are just as racist jokes about white people and Asians than black people, it’s just we’re expected to have thicker skin because we’re more of a majority population, so the whole victimization crap in the article is a bit overkill because there’s no context about other races. I’m a bit in the middle with both arguments but it did add some spice to the night.

When I got home it was l1:40 and I was exhausted and had to sleep because I had Skin Conference the next day and REXTAB. Lola barked at me and I really wanted to go see her because I think I’ve grown attached to her and wasn’t going to get the opportunity to see her much but obviously I couldn’t go into Vron’s room and wake her at that time, so I just headed to bed.

That’s my Friday, update on my Saturday and REXTAB coming up soon (just need a break from all this frantic typing haha).