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annbourbon · 11 months ago

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Disclaimer: First things first, because it needs to be said, I am not catholic or christian. But! I grew up in between both communities, and they made me study the bible, superficially, just to make their point.

My parents allowed me to grew up reading fairytales and stuff that would never ever be dreamed lol so things like witchcraft, paganism, hinduism, buddhism, among other things and luckily the schools I went didn't care about it enough because they gave money to them. Yeah, very much like gossip girl. You can really get away with a lot of things if you throw enough money. So:

1. This post, is not meant to be religious.

2. I study literature and art. I'm supposed to read this book as part of my studies. But because of my years at school were a complete torture, I decided to create these notes to have fun while I'm at it. Otherwise I don't think I'll be able to finish it.

3. This post doesn't pretend to attack on any kind of beliefs displayed here. I just want to rationalize it. I'm still a firm believer that if there's a god, that god loves us no matter what we do: And there's no hell.

Let's go through Genesis together...

Genesis 3:17 KJV - 17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

So basically God creates all. Makes them similar and then punishes them for doing something he would have done. But he knows it all. Suuure kiddo. 🙄

Genesis 4:15-17 KJV - .

16 And Cain went out from the presence of the LORD, and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden.

17 And Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch: and he builded a city, and called the name of the city, after the name of his son, Enoch.

Either his wife is Lilith or Eve. If it's Eve means he committed incest(?)

Also, why does the Lord forsakens Cain, Adam and Eve if he is supposed to forgive it all??? 😭

Genesis 5:7 KJV - And Seth lived after he begat Enos eight hundred and seven years, and begat sons and daughters:

They are freaking vampires 😱🤣

Genesis 5:26 KJV - And Methuselah lived after he begat Lamech seven hundred eighty and two years, and begat sons and daughters:

pls stawwp 😭💀 the whole chapter brings nothing to the plot.

Genesis 6:7 KJV

And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.

Psycho killer God enters scene.. so far he was only narcissist 😳

Genesis 6:12 KJV - And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth.

B-but we're supposed to be like youuuuu 😭🤣🤣 I think he hates himself way too much, we're not that bad. 👀

Genesis 6:14 KJV - Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch.

So much for being a favourite of the Lord lol he makes you work like there's no tomorrow.. oh wait~~ lol

Genesis 6:15 KJV - this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits.

ummm god.... shall i show you this youtube video i found where it's proven that this is impossible based on the physics you gave to this planet???

Genesis 6:16 KJV - A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it

They're gonna die of stinkinness because of everyone's poop 😭😭 so nooooo pleaaaasee. What have they done to you? Weren't they your favorite family and all that?... forgive me father for i have sinned but don't make me your favorite please(?)

Genesis 7:6 KJV - And Noah was six hundred years old when the flood of waters was upon the earth.

So he was really young uh? 💀

Genesis 7:8 KJV

Of clean beasts, and of beasts that are not clean, and of fowls, and of every thing that creepeth upon the earth,

wdym clean and not clean? take a shower before entering the Ark pls😭😭

Genesis 7:13 KJV

In the selfsame day entered Noah, and Shem, and Ham, and Japheth, the sons of Noah, and Noah's wife, and the three wives of his sons with them, into the ark;

can't stop thinking about termites, woodpeckers, and poop 🙊😵

must be really stinky there 😬💩

Genesis 8:4 KJV

And the ark rested in the seventh month, on the seventeenth day of the month, upon the mountains of Ararat.

they could have just moved on to another place lol apparently the flood wasn't everywhere. 🥴😶

Genesis 8:5 KJV

And the waters decreased continually until the tenth month: in the tenth month, on the first day of the month, were the tops of the mountains seen.

The mountains must be like.... not that high.

Genesis 8:6 KJV

And it came to pass at the end of forty days, that Noah opened the window of the ark which he had made:

😳 you're telling me he survived all that poop!?

Genesis 8:17 KJV

Bring forth with thee every living thing that is with thee, of all flesh, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth; that they may breed abundantly in the earth, and be fruitful, and multiply upon the earth.

This guy sounds like he's a vouyerist tbh 😶

(Genesis - First 4 chapters)

Narcissistic/Bipolar God: I created y'all. You're like me. Obbey me. Love me. I'm leaving this cookie here! ^♡^

>.> don't touch or eat it.

...you ate it!?!?

I hate y'all cuz you don't do what I say. Go away....

... Where are you going? What are you doing? 👀😭😭 don't leave me.

(Genesis - chapter 5 to 8)

Psycho Killer God: let's make a terrarium. let's kill them all by flooding everything.

(Genesis - Chapter 8)

Genesis 8:21 KJV

And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done.

Vouyerist God: Okay, now let me watch you while you have sex 😀🧐

*they start cooking and God smells smth*

What is that smell? There's pie!? is it for meeeee???

Genesis 9:1 KJV

And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.

Vouyerist God: 'Kay I killed your kind, but chill dude! Now let me watch ya having sex 👀🍿

Genesis 9:3 KJV

Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things.

God: You can kill too!! ^♡^

Genesis 9:4 KJV

But flesh with the life thereof, which is the blood thereof, shall ye not eat.

God: I don't like Hannibal 😒 Don't be like Hannibal!! Or I'll kill ya 😇

Genesis 9:5 KJV

And surely your blood of your lives will I require; at the hand of every beast will I require it, and at the hand of man; at the hand of every man's brother will I require the life of man.

Vampire God: Ohhh BTW I'm a vampire *reveals*

Noah: 😳

Genesis 9:29 KJV

And all the days of Noah were nine hundred and fifty years: and he died.

i~~ another vampire I see 😀

Genesis 10:15-17 KJV - And Canaan begat Sidon his firstborn, and Heth,

16 And the Jebusite, and the Amorite, and the Girgasite, 17 And the Hivite, and the Arkite, and the Sinite,

Where do they get all these names? O.o The person narrating this one must have been obsessed with names ._.

I mean... I understand because I have lists with thousands of names because duhh i'm a writer too. But seriously??? Why do I need so many names when IDGF about them cuz next line they're already dead. Show me smth more interesting pls 😭😬

Genesis 10:25 KJV

And unto Eber were born two sons: the name of one was Peleg; for in his days was the earth divided; and his brother's name was Joktan.

Peleg 😳 is he the same one that likes sports?? idk if it was football soccer or basketball tho... 🤔🤔

Genesis 11:3 KJV

And they said one to another, Go to, let us make brick, and burn them throughly. And they had brick for stone, and slime had they for morter.

Random thought but we should make a Musical/Slime Tutorial about The Babel Tower

Babel Slime Tutorial~~ ^♡^

Genesis 11:6 KJV

And the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.

Genesis 11:7-9 KJV - Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech.

8 So the LORD scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city.

9 Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the LORD did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the LORD scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth.

He wants us to reach to him. To call. To go with him. To be with him. But as soon as one wants that as well he changes his mind. And then he questions us whyyyyy we're forgetting about him...

ummm what is it called~?

Well, whatever... he's sick. 😶🥴

Needs a psychiatrist.

I still need to finish this but... so far those are my notes... please don't hate me 😅

#reading list #bible funny #bible

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fresne999 · 9 months ago

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To return to this topic, and for a record for how the project is going.

I am down to the final story. Which being a Choose Your Own Adventure story for Frenchie is currently scoped out to be 96 chapters long. So it won't be fast. Also, when I realized that's what I wanted to do for the last story, it meant Frenchie's story went from 21 points to 34 points story to write. Also, I originally estimated that Zheng's story was about 13 points, but when I wrote it it turned out to be more of a 21 point story. i.e., roughly the same size as Izzy's story, and that's even before I go back and fix all the TBDs and add what folks are doing while talking.

Now I need to rescope the project to see if my original timeline is still reasonable.

That means, I take my handy chart where I track progress and change the points for Frenchie and Zheng's stories. The chart now looks like this for all the stories.

BTW: Having this many stories means I can bounce around each day, making progress somewhere on something.

Now, before I adjusted my points, the line chart showing what progress needed to happen looked like this with the goal being complete 621 points of story creation in 75 days (less the 176 I'd already done when I started tracking).

Sadly, this chart now out of date.

What I now do is (because I have no interest in figuring out what my actual 21 point progress has been writing Zheng's story, is do a bit of a reset today.

By the way, the way you build the chart above is by filling in a table that looks like the table below every day showing progress. I've set up confiditional formatting on the amounts in the Build column to go from dark pink if I complete 0-2 points, light pink if 3-4, light green if 5-7, and dark green if 8+. And thus I get a little visual reward for making my goals.

For everything up to yesterday, when I thought Zheng's story was going to be a lot shorter, I use the original build rate of 5.9 needed points a day for the Ideal Get Done column.

As of today to fill out column's B # I nee to get done, I take the new goal - yesterday's projected pts / # days left. i.e., (665-225)/33. This give me my new needed build rate of 7.25. I would say yikes. But I know it's actually fine, because my average build rate over the last week has been 8 points a day, not including today's wonky adjustment #. Plus, I have a little bit of slack given one week I did *a lot* of writing.

So it's reasonable for me to project that I can still finish writing this huge project within the projected time. Posting, that's a different beast. If my build rate were different, then I would know I can't possibly finish by the projected date, and would need to adjust something. Mostly likely extend my projected completion date, because I don't really have time to do more writing/editing each day.

Anyways, I adjust the # of points in row 43 to the new amount I've completed given Zheng's story is now worth more points. i.e., I didn't complete 16 points today, I'm just not bothering to figure out what my actual progress was over the last week and a half of writing.

This results in a new chart that looks like this. The uptick in both today's points and the bend in the Ideal Get Done is too slight to really see, but it's there.

Now on to... actually I'm going to take a break. On to the new points build tomorrow. If you've stumbled on this, hopefully this is a useful example in how to do this kind of project management planning.

For the Story is Long and Takes a Long Time

Every now and then I see a post float across my dash about younger folks (my lawn is a field of local plants and and drip watered, please enjoy) wanting an algorithm for AO3 or only wanting longer fic, or blah, blah. Not sure how much of that is pervasive and not folks grumping at the sky.

But this is the grumping at the sky site, so whatever.

Ever wondered what the labor involved in a long fic looks like? Wonder no longer, here's a line graph.

This represents the kind of sustained labor required to finish a maybe (I'm not done yet) 350k work.

It's not a single story. It's 18 stories from 18 POV that braid around similar (but not identical because people observe different things) events. It's OFMD modern AU.

Nothing is posted. I don't post unfinished stories. I learn too much while I write for that to ever work for me. Even if I have an outline.

Now you may wonder, how did I come up with graph? Probably not, but I'm going to explain anyway.

After working on and off on the project (the reason it doesn't start at zero) I decided to apply some techniques I use for project management. What I'm about to describe can be used for any type of complicated project.

Step 1

-Break the "project" down into milestones. 18 stories. I've also broken it down into 4 phases per story: 1) Write draft 1, 2) Edit, 3) Have you heard of 2nd edit? 4) Hopefully we're at Spag edit.

Step 2 -

Assign points to every milestone.

I use this sequence of #s*: 0, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34. Want to sound fancy. That's a Fibonacci Sequence. Now you know.

Using this numbering sequence keeps me from getting bogged down trying to decide if a big story is say 8 or 9 points if I were using a 1-10 sequence

The principle behind this kind of point assignment goes something like this. It's hard to look at Stede and know how tall he/the actor is. But if you look at Stede and Izzy standing together, I roughly know who is taller.

A - Or in this case, I guess the Stede story will be longer than Izzy's story. So Stede= 34, and Izzy=21.

B - Break down the phases of writing and assign them points.

3 Start writing. At the end of one week, figure out my points completed. Should be a % of the total possible points for that milestone/phase. My method involves a lot of formulas based on 20 years of project mangagement experience. You should just guess. Divide by 7. That's the "build" rate.

Divide the total number of points for the project by the build rate, that's the # of days it will probably take. That seem to long, establish an arbitrary date to finish and divide the number of points by that number of days and that's you're "Management Assigned an Arbitrary Date and I don't know if we can finish, but let's try" rate.

4 Keep writing and editing. Track as you go. Having a much smaller goal each day than "Finish it" to reach each day makes it easier to do. It's also easier than an arbitrary # of words a day, which, shrug, we're not Dickens. We're paid by the kudo, not the word.

Know how I know? I've been working on and off on this for 2 years. Here's what that (roughly) looks based on knowing how long I spent getting 4 of the stories thru writing and first edit by the time I got to March of this year. I file creation to last revision date, but not including the long periods in between writing, and knowing several times I had to remove huge amounts of writing. So, points went away. Sad sound.

That looks like this.

Brought to you by, I need to finish more points today, but am tired.

#our_flag_means_perspectives #project planning #writing techniques #figuring out how long a project will take

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hoopdiddies · 6 years ago

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I'm Not Over You // Ben Hardy x Reader (Part 7)

A/N: This is probably the longest I've written in this series. Again guys, thank you for the support, your comments and likes mean so much! My tag list is always open so feel free to ask. And on a slightly heavy note: the next chapter could be really angsty. Just a heads up right there uwu

Summary: You had always loved Ben ever since you two met in university and became the best of friends. That feeling went out like a candle flame when the two of you parted ways until he re-entered your life...but this time with someone who has already occupied his heart.

Warnings: Angst, slight drinking, slight swearing, (yeah the fluff is still present)

W/C: 5k-ish

Tags: @haendel-me-with-care

@mrsdoradominguez-barnes

@mickmoon

@lakef

@mrsmazzello

@valeriecarolinaw

@queen-turtle-boiii

Edited// I forgot to link the previous parts

Parts: 6 5 4 3 2 1

(Got the pic from Pinterest hhh-)

Storing the luggage bag you've purchased for a fair price in the spare room, you come across a small box of sundries tucked in one corner with cobwebs clinging to the sides. Your eyes light up with curiosity spiking within you, you pick it up and dust the webs off, blowing the particles away from the top. You squat on the floor and open the flaps, discovering small yet familiar items that had been lost in time– one of them being a sepia-toned polaroid of you and Ben posing dramatically with hilarious doodles drawn on your faces. You forgot about this, feeling a little guilty that you had hidden it away in a drafty box without remembering doing anything of the sort. You flip the picture over and spot a date and an unfinished sentence written in faded ink on the bottom left part. This was taken on Homecoming night.

'I'm not going-' it says, clearly discontinued next to the date. Silly to think that the picture somehow represents a puzzle piece torn away from its board.

You were bound to graduate the week after and barely a day after, not see each other for several years due to your career paths and post-college choices.

You pull on the hem of your shirt, clearing the picture of dust and any more impurities, finally fitting it into your back pocket to finally treasure it the way it was always meant to be treasured.

The door clicks as you bring it close, your eyes gluing themselves at the hardwood floor seconds to having self-pity billow over you at how quickly your tears surface in the corner of your eyes from the memory of Ben spinning Rosy around - the exact way he did with you -and kissing her like she's a pouch full of life.

You clamp down on your bottom lip, trying your hardest not to stain your cheeks with your pooling tears. "Jeez, you just-" you pace back and forth in frustration, balling your fists as you gesticulate lazily, "you just don't get it, Y/N! Ugh, you're so- fuck, just get over it..." Knowing your harsh soliloquy would be getting you nowhere, you snarl strongly at yourself and roughly wipe your tears away with the back of your hand.

"He loves Rosy. F-freaking deal with it!" The reminder takes a hiss from your quivering lips for it to sink in; you have your own place in his life– a place behind the line you'd drawn in the years prior. The friend zone couldn't be any more hollow and cold than it already is.

And a polaroid pic is the only remnant left of how inseparable you and Ben were in the early days.

At the same time you're feeling your heart tear itself apart, Ben pulls out a picture - similar to what you've found - from the inner pocket of his old varsity jacket in the middle of rummaging through his wardrobe. He leaves his room in his pajamas and tosses himself on the couch next to a sleeping Frankie, softly apologizing to the little beagle for disturbing her cat-like nap. As he cuddles Frankie close, he scrutinizes the picture and it's also from Homecoming, but in it both of you are beaming widely with your arms slung around one another– the doodles ever-so-present on your faces. Behind it, the date and the continuation of the trailed-off sentence written at the back of your share of the memory.

'-anywhere at all.'- it ends in Ben's part of the duality. He grins fondly at the long lost picture, feeling twice as guilty for not keeping it safe and...close to his heart, just as he had promised you that night.

- - - - - - - -

In the convenience of Lucy needing some company to shop with for awards season just as she had returned from her get-away with Rami, she drags you along happily, having to pass through you insisting that you stay at home and study but purposefully ending up under her mercy anyway. You couldn't say no to her, she's basically your sparkly, glam counterpart and you're in need of her life-altering sparkles as of now. Especially since you're going to be tagging along with them, mainly as Joe's date cause you know, you're his 'girlfriend' and all.

You're at the mall, in a stylish boutique full of lines of voguish clothing and shoes that could span miles if not compressed together. For once in the hours you've spent scampering around the mall with Lucy to hoard dresses, skin products and make up, you admit that this is the most aesthetically pleasing space in the entire building.

You traipse along a section with black dresses fashioned into different forms, silently praying that what you have with you will amount to at least one of the varying prices.

Lucy's on the opposite side, ogling at the most colorful section in the boutique for a piece to wear. She peers over at you to make sure you've chosen your 'fighter'. A few swishes of the dresses lined up and you do, holding it up high to evaluate the appropriateness.

It's a sleeveless, halter neck satin that's just a few inches above the knee. Utterly backless but it ends right up the small of your back. The fabric is stretchy enough to move around and breathe in as it simultaneously hugs your shape. You love it but gulp as you prepare yourself for the price. Flipping the tag over, you suddenly wish you could let out the biggest, girlish squeal the human race has ever heard with how surprisingly affordable it is.

"Finally picked out yours?" Lucy pokes her head up playfully and you nod, quite speechless but giddy. She makes a grabby hand at your dress to examine it for herself.

Well she's the fashion guru so why not? You hand her the dress and as she trails her eyes from top to bottom, her mouth falls at the simple yet elegant details. "This is perfect! I highly doubt that it's not going to catch every exposed eye present at the event."

Your flush profusely at her comment. "Thanks but I'll be bringing a coat with me."

That triggered her, but of course you're only teasing. "You better effing not." She warns you and you chuckle, taking the dress from her and evenly brushing the skirt.

"I won't, you can sleep soundly tonight."

You assure her of the possibility. As you exit the boutique with a few bags you're not used to holding, Lucy takes out her phone and gasps, her face contorting with a little disbelief. "Uh oh, this might ruin your mood." She hands you the phone and you gape at her confusingly before taking a quick look.

Ben's posted some updates on his wedding preparations, shockingly tagging you, Joe, Gwil and Lucy in one photo. He's pretty busy alright; unable to text or call you for days but miraculously tagging you out of nowhere.

You come to disregard it until you notice one minute but important detail hidden in plain sight in all of his posts– there isn't a single one with him and Rosy together alone. None of such as well on his new ones.

The only post he's had with a close girl is the one with you, which is at the very bottom of his Instagram feed. You won't admit it but it warms your heart a little. Actually, a whole lot despite wondering why there's none of him and his fiancee. You hand Lucy her phone back and tilt your head to one side, suddenly finding the eagerness to go on shopping. "Let's go."

The following week comes as a radial blur contrasted to the slightly moderate one you just woke up from; your manager phoning you up to take the earliest shift you've had in years at the expense of your allotted time to rest, the heavy workload and rush hours in the upcoming hours followed by the slowest progress of filing your travel documents and visa needed for your departure on the 26th. You've got tons of missed calls from your parents and Joe, who's requested for you to pack up early since you'll be leaving for LA with Lucy on the day of the awards but earlier.

Also noting that you still need to double check the costs for flying to LA and back, ruling out the one exclusive for your flight on the 26th.

For mere days you feel as if you could lose your sanity as your life spirals into madness with everything you're required to do– whether or not you're obliged to do it.

But they are effective distractions for that problem you are still very much preoccupied with. That's a matter noteworthy of later discussion. Amidst all the chaos happening, part of you wishes for Ben to reply to your messages or even talk to you in the slightest. You never bothered to call this week since he's tied up but the least he could do is let you know how he's doing, if he's thinking of you once in a thousand passing seconds.

You give up for a day waiting on him and drown yourself in work.

- - - - - - -

Securing your phone between your tilted head and your shoulder as you indulge in your talk with Joe through the line, you crouch and zip your luggage bag close. Your eyes fixating themselves on two, separate luggage bags for two, separate travels.

"Was that all of it?" Joe's disembodied voice asks. You spring up and take your phone between your fingers. "Pretty much. I better have a kick out of something by the time we touchdown tomorrow– it's my first visit to the US." You inform him, leaping into your bed and landing comfortably.

He chortles softly and ensures you. "I know and you can be sure to expect a good par- ow! Bad kitty!" His smooth transition to a yelp amuses you for split second.

"Are you alright? "

"No. I'm finally feline food to my kid." He refers to his pet cat that has taken a small nibble on his finger, in which Joe returns with a light ruffle to its fur. You can't help but giggle heartily at him.

"Anyway, I'm picking you and Lucy up from LAX tomorrow." He gives you that heads up and you bring your hand up to your forehead. "Where will we be staying?"

"I've booked a hotel earlier so you've got nothing to worry about the moment you land." A faint crunch can be heard from your end and you mind to ask Joe about it. "Are you- are you eating?"

To answer your question, he bites down on his food sloppily and guarantees you of what you heard. You smack your lips together as your eyes narrow in bewilderment.

"Does that answer your question?"

"Sometimes you make it easier for me to hit you with a pillow."

"Is that how you treat your boyfriend?" He taunts at you and cackles, his distorted voice bouncing off of the walls of your room. You sigh, defeated by the fact that this charade is still going on. It's silly and immature yet you and Joe somehow managed to stick to the act.

"Speaking of boyfriend though– would he be furious if I told him that I couldn't be there on his wedding day?" Since you're rested and got nothing else to distract you, you pop the question to Joe.

"Ben?"

You hum softly.

"There are two scenarios that we need to consider," on his end, Joe taps his finger on his lips as he thinks of said scenarios, "Best case scenario- he would get discouraged and slightly unmotivated, and obviously sad, but he'd still support you cause that's your dream."

You sit up and twirl the ends of your hair around your finger, swallowing. "And worst case scenario?"

Joe falls silent before exhaling harshly. "You'd crush his soul, heart, everything ranging from physical to spiritual and it would take a toll– and I mean a substantial toll on your friendship."

"Joe, don't make it sound like a prospect! "

"That is, " he adds strongly, "if he finds out that you had meant for him to be oblivious to it." And he's right. But you had a reason. You still do. Even if you do end up telling him and he supports you, you need a great deal of space to move on.

As long as he's committed to Rosy and you're in the sidelines still in love with him, it's just something toxic. You couldn't love anybody they way you do Ben and you feel like you'll never love someone like him ever again. Albeit how clueless he is sometimes and clumsy, you both had survived every storm and wave. So sticking around to witness him give his hand and heart to someone else is torture for you.

"I'm gonna be direct and say-" just as you begin talking, your phone shrills to another caller, cutting you off from Joe.

One look at the screen and your heart begins racing. Speak of the devil. You reserve an explanation for cutting off and answer Ben, clearing your throat. "You're late."

Ben's gruff chuckle welcomes you back. "I know, I'm so sorry. Busiest week I've had and the lady at Starbucks signed my cup like a snail."

"What are you doing tonight that requires coffee?"

"Call me dramatic- or do so, given that I'm an actor- but I just want to stargaze right now." You hear a light rustle coming from his end, like he's seated out on his lawn.

Silently giving him the 'oh really' look, you spread one side of the curtain to let some moon light in. "Ben, you're leaving early tomorrow."

He hums, seemingly enjoying himself. "But that's not an excuse to not enjoy the night." This boy can not get any cornier. You cast your gaze upon the moon, sighing profoundly. "How did the wedding planning go? Good?"

"Hm, yeah. Church wedding, big reception. Whole lot of booze binging planned out. And a killer bachelor party the day after the awards. " He jokes through the line and you tell him off in a playful chide. "Benjamin Jones, you better-"

"I won't. I won't." You sense his gentle smile from your end, checking the time and reluctantly coming to the decision to hit the hay since you'll be leaving early as well. As much as you want to recreate those late night conversations you once had with him, you can't.

"Hey?" You coo somehow.

"Yeah?"

"I gotta sleep. I have to meet Lucy at the airport at 5."

He gives out a throaty grunt as if he's pulling himself up. "Tragic. I'll see you in LA then, love."

Your lips curl up into the gentlest smile with the moonlight blessing it from the window. "You too. Tell yourself and the rest- especially Brian and Roger- that I'm gonna be rooting for you guys to get up on that stage."

"I will. Thanks for the motivation, Y/N. All the words coming from you just mean so much to me. To all of us." And in his voice, you can hear his utmost sincerity and fondness just highlighting his tone.

"Anytime. Now let me sleep, you bloke. "

"Haha, alright. Love you tons, love."

Shifting your eyes to the sky once more, you reply, allowing the words you're about to say to mean more.

"I love you too, Ben. Good night."

- - - - - - -

24th

You had promised Lucy you'd arrive 10 minutes earlier than her and you really didn't hold on to that promise. As soon as you arrive at the airport nearly bathing in sweat and deaf from the multiple rings Lucy has given you, you both take off to the waiting area with your heavy luggage where you spend an hour and a half waiting for your flight to board. Joe has sent two texts telling you that he's still in the middle of having coffee and it's a questionable action since he's 8 hours behind you and is expected to be asleep by now.

You reply with a simple, "See you there" before heeding to the call of your flight number from the speakers.

All the rushing and you haven't had a bite of breakfast yet. An eleven hour flight doesn't sound so bad, as long as you make sure you don't reel everytime you get up to use the bathroom and acquire jet lag the moment you land from a direct flight without any pit stops. The flight is long as you are awake but by the time you fall asleep in between hours, it shortens the duration. The pilot announcing your arrival wakes you and Lucy from the latest nap you've had on the plane. After gathering your luggage and answering a couple of phone calls on you way down the plane, the arrival area is where you spy Joe behind the red tapes, a scarf around his neck and an eager look plastered on his pale skin, just waiting for you and Lucy to step in. His eyes crinkle as he sees you both treading towards him with a handful of luggage. He greets you both with a tight hug and ushers you to his car, assisting with the transport of your things.

He's booked you in the hotel he's staying in to, of course, avoid some minor inconveniences especially since the awards start at 7 pm and you drastically need Lucy to help you prepare. Upon reaching the hotel, he leads the both of you up the second floor and into the hall for your rooms.

Apparently you and Lucy will be sharing which is the great and Joe will be staying in the room right across yours.

After giving yourselves a brief tour of the room, you settle in and unpack your essentials.

"Y/N, bring out your fighter!" Lucy declares with a giggle, pulling the dress she's chosen from her suitcase. It's a purple, off-the-shoulder, crepe satin and black velvet gown that cascades gracefully against the stable air.

Your eyes widen in awe at how it looks against the light. "No need for a match, Luce. You win," you raise your hands up in surrender, "that's- that's catching more eyes. From Rami of course."

"Oh shut it. You'll look smooth in black." She clicks her tongue and smoothens it at the edge of the bed. You whip out yours and hold it up high, wavering a little at how you'll look like in it tonight. How fortunate you were to find 3-inch, black pumps closeted when you were 'panic packing' the night before. You take it out from your suitcase and set it aside before striding towards the blinds, pulling it up and beholding the breathtaking view of Hollywood before you.

Your first visit to the US and you're already headed to the Oscars. This isn't the real life. This is just fantasy.

- - - - - - - -

"We're having a dinner party afterwards, I don't see any reason for two sandwiches before the ceremony." Staring blankly at how Joe's handling waiting for you and Lucy to emerge from your room, Rami purses his lips quizzically– he's come by to pick up his girl as well. The two men look dashingly handsome in their black tuxes and slick hairstyles– their individual charm strong as they highly anticipate for your appearances.

Joe swallows the chunk in his mouth before speaking. "I'm stressed."

"About what?"

He bites down on his last sandwich, dusting his hands off crumbs as he reasons out. "It's the Oscars. Biggest ceremony of the year."

With a shake of his head, Rami opens his mouth to protest but pauses as the creak of the door behind them butts in their conversation. Lucy - exquisite in her cascading satin gown and look dotted in light to moderate make up - emerges with her purse in hand and eyes heady on Rami.

Joe wishes he could loosen some hinges in Rami's jaw since the latter has got his mouth agape at her girlfriend's evening look. To him, she is his ultimate award and he wouldn't have it in any other way.

"Hey, babe." Lucy smiles delicately and kisses Rami's cheek, to which he responds with a breathless, "Luce, you look..." His starstruck silence finishing his compliment for her. Joe hums, agreeing with crossed arms. "I wish I was as pretty as you, Boynton."

"You boys look handsome, too." Lucy giggles softly and Joe begins to wonder. "Where's Y/N?"

"She'll be out in three...two..." As Lucy deliberately pauses her countdown, you come out of the room, head down as you feel a bit hesitant to continue but you regain your confidence and look up timidly– your appearance putting Joe in the same position Rami was just in with Lucy. The dress really agrees to your form, contouring every curve of your body in a semi-sensual way, guaranteeing that you'll be snagging some looks tonight. Your (H/C) hair frames your face intricately with your light make-up emphasizing the color of your eyes and lips. The light brush of air against the skin of your exposed back makes you clutch your purse tighter, deeming it uncomfortable.

Lucy smiles proudly at her work and that is you. "Well, how does she look Joe?"

Joe lets out a hitched exhale, hazel eyes wide as a sinkhole and a slacked jaw struggling to budge. "Like my girlfriend."

"You wish." You can't help but retort playfully and he brings his finger up to his lips, hushing you. Rami compliments you as well and you thank him as the four of you make your way to the elevator– your arm on Joe's and Lucy's on Rami's.

You've taken a limo for the sake of convenience, since Joe and Rami wanted to propose a pre-toast - with the champagne present in the vehicle - to their successes and hard work in the past year. You have faith they'd bring home an Oscar; considering how spectacular their work was portraying the members of Queen. You're also thrilled that you're about to meet Brian and Roger.

The limo parks just across Dolby Theatre and the four of you climb out, making your way arms-in-arms into the place crowded with paparazzi and attendees. You see yourself as a small fish swimming in a sea full of majestic dolphins. This is the big leagues right here and you're not even one bit of a celebrity– at least you feel like you aren't one. After a couple of shoulder brushes with either familiar and unfamiliar faces and escaping the blinding flashes of the cameras, the four of you reunite with Gwilym who has Roger and Brian present by his side. You are introduced to the two Queen members by Joe and you couldn't be any more happier to meet them in person. A couple of moments of interacting with the rest of the crew and cast, Ben joins the 'party' looking sharp and admittedly drop-dead gorgeous in his white tuxedo blazer and slicked back hair with Rosy by his side.

Before he could even reply to the greetings of his friends, he lays his eyes on you and for a while– his pupils dilate and his expression flits faster than he can command it to. He can't believe what or who he is seeing before him amidst all the glam. Letting go of Rosy's hand for a minute, he steps close to you, indescribably captivated. "Y/N...h-hey."

You keep your composure, musing back. "Hey. You look left out, outfit-wise, and a like a million bucks."

It takes him nearly five seconds to reply with the way hes has his eyes transfixed on you. It's like he's seeing you for the first time. Your evening look setting him back to Homecoming night and something inside him just tweaks. You avoid his mindless gaze and break the silence, trying your hardest not to flush. "Ben, please talk. It's just really-"

"You look...beautiful." He breathes out like he had just gotten up from under water.

#queen #borhap #ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy x reader #borhap cast #borhap cast x reader #borhap imagine #joe mazzello #ben hardy fanfic #imagine #fanfic

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ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is · 6 years ago

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I did my best to put it in some kind of order but it got messy and I'm helpless about what I should write even after having read the FAQ and more than 20 pages of your posts so bear with me, please. The more I studied the functions, the less I know. So I'm really annoyed when people do things in a certain way because that's how it was done - there's nothing wrong with sticking to tried ways but everyone should think why they do it instead of mindlessly following a set path. (1/???)

A note to readers: if I may ask, please hold back your own sarcasm and such.

I don’t explicitly set a length limit anywhere for asks as most people stop at a fairly reasonable 5 or 6 - I’ve gotten extremely long asks only a few other times and those were mostly overnight for me so I didn’t get to weigh in in medias res, so while this person definitely needs to work on editing there’s some good content. Had there been anything egregiously offensive, ignorant, or annoying I’d have been much more brusque or I’d just have blocked them; this was a genuine misread of the situation. It’s really hard for me to define what’s good to send for typing; it’s very much a case of knowing it when I see it and I know that can be difficult for some people to interpret. Answer is below the jump.

Hi anon,

I may have had some mild fun at your expense; when I see someone is 10 messages deep and talking about Mamma Mia I have to say I have concerns about their ability to decide what is relevant information.

Anyway I’m going to answer this piece by piece. This will not be my, uh, least snarky answer; the cost of doing business of mbti typing with me for no money is that I like to enjoy myself. But I will attempt to also provide a good faith answer as you have some solid examples within all this.

I did my best to put it in some kind of order but it got messy and I'm helpless about what I should write even after having read the FAQ and more than 20 pages of your posts so bear with me, please.

As you can see I will not really bear with you but I do appreciate you doing some research

The more I studied the functions, the less I know. So I'm really annoyed when people do things in a certain way because that's how it was done - there's nothing wrong with sticking to tried ways but everyone should think why they do it instead of mindlessly following a set path. (1/???)

I feel like people use this sort of language to be like “please don’t type me as a high Si user” when in fact this is EXTREMELY high healthy Si user. Thought it could be a lower Si user as well. Anyway, moving on

For example, it's sad how many people believe in God just because thats how they were raised without actually reading the Bible (no hard feelings to believers, I also believe)

I’m...not going to unpack that

I like to speak out loud some ideas with no thoughts of acting on them but some people tend to believe I'm dead set on the idea and it causes some misunderstandings. Also, I have at least 6 back up plans for my future in case some of them won't fly. (2/???)

Here’s the deal when people say they’ve studied EVERYTHING and then ramble on for a long time and can’t type themselves I often suspect the issue isn’t that they don’t know MBTI but that they need to learn themselves. Contingency plans tend to be Ne-Si; speaking out loud with no plans to act is pretty normal.

I plan on going to a country abroad in 2 years from now and I've already made plans what I want to see there. I have a list of places I need to visit arranged in order so I could visit as many places in the most effective way because I don't want to waste my precious time spend there. I also enjoy telling people about my plans of going there as it makes me really excited. The unknown excites me and I enjoy wandering around a city I visit for the first time because I don't know it.

I can’t type off of this specifically yet but it’s interesting because you have extremely detailed plans (more of a sensing thing) but for a trip that I can’t imagine you’ve finalized if it’s that far off.

Wandering around cities is great though, I agree with you there.

I'm also really good at remembering routes and getting to the destination. I like figuring out how to get there.

Maybe immature Si user actually? Getting really indignant about poor use of Si, plus that bit about the bible I said I wouldn’t unpack sounds like it could be as well especially if paired with Fe and/or Christian views of religion.

I'm a bit reserved at first as I need to test the waters before I decide I like someone. It takes me sometime to warm up but I actually enjoy small talk and feel tempted to speak to a cashier at shop or a fellow passenger at bus which isn't as socially acceptable at my country so I don't really do this - I don't want to come across as a weird person but at the same time, (4/???)

I'm not really bothered to play a social game and I often seem to be rude (resting bitch face, actually I'm not judgmental and I'm quite chill about most of things). I know in mbti e vs i isn't perceived in a traditional way but I identify as ambivert as most of people, heh. My introverted friends say I'm an extravert but extraverts find me a quiet girl. I'm also 9w1 if that helps.

Yeah I’m thinking ISFJ now honestly, not wanting to violate social norms, introverted but enjoys small talk, and 9w1 goes with ISFJ a lot.

I've been also always thought to be a smart one who knows a lot of stuff about many things (5/???)

I could say I'm a walking contradiction as I mentioned in my previous post btw I'm sorry I asked you to type me with a vague info, this time I put a lot of effort ♡ Oh god please don’t say you’re a walking contradiction, I truly believe your intentions are good here and I do not hold this against you but that phrase is what guys who think they’re going to make it in a band despite having no talent say in their tinder bios.

At first I was sure I'm Ne/Si but now I see a possibility of being Ni/Se.I often forget what I'm supposed to do as I've just done because I had this super relevant thing to write but I forgot, damn it.

You seem very nice and perhaps just sort of young so I would suggest...writing this in advance instead of stream of consciousness which might help you organize your thoughts and edit yourself a little? I’m writing this response in advance. Like 90% of my answers I write in a Google Doc and then paste it into the Tumblr askbox later. It’s great.

(6/???) I'm getting lost in the numbers

Hard same.

I'm also quite stubborn and I'll study a thing as long as it's needed for me to fully understand it - it drives me crazy when I study for an exam, I ask my friend for help because I don't understand the concept and she tells me I don't need to understand it, I just need to memorize it.

Sounds very much like Ti here, which fits the earlier typing of Fe-user.

I do things for 101% or I don't do it at all.

I’m guilty of saying this too; I think many people see this quality in themselves unfortunately and I’m not sure it ultimately means much.

I also have a friend who helps me to stay grounded as she remembers some stuff for me and I'm pretty sure I'll be lost without her (7/???) I didn't think I wrotesomuch

yeah...about that.

I'm quite oblivious on daily basis, I went through school hallway and didn't notice a big ballot box. I only notice things when i want to and it's not a natural thing for me. But when I do pay attention, I'm sometimes mischievous on purpose and enjoy pushing buttons of others. I work on not doing it, I promiseI have a great talent to focusing on irrelevant things and I struggle to do well in my infp teacher classes - even though I know I need a shitload of details from readings (8/???)

So here’s the thing: I really don’t think you use Ni. First of all, the stream of consciousness thing tends to be something Ni users don’t like to do in my experience: they like to edit. They also just...don’t sound the way you do? Like this is rambly but it’s coherent in a way an INFJ ramble of this nature wouldn’t be. You could be an INTP actually with rigid low Si and Fe instead of immature higher Si though. But I’m pretty confident at this point you use the Fe-Ti and Ne-Si axes.

One thing I do find funny, even though I suppose I set people up for it, is when I get asks that are like “here is the detailed description of when I didn’t notice a detail and here is what I didn’t notice”. Like, we do all miss things and while it’s more common in intuitives, my legally-blind-without-glasses Si-dom mother does this too because she can’t see for shit, so.

to do well in exam, I always choose things that aren't relevant to her. She's an excellent teacher and I enjoy her insights. As for Ni/Se, I'm amazed how many things my peers do without thinking about consequences. For example, I wouldn't drink till I'm unconscious because I know I would upset my parents. I perceived it as ni, might be wrong though.

You are wrong in that this isn’t Ni, it’s called basic self-preservation. I’ve gotten extremely drunk from time to time in my life but I have never gotten drunk to the point of involuntary passing out because that is when you fucking die. Your instincts are correct here, your reasoning about your parents is probably Fe, but your decision itself is not Ni.

(9/???) Now, I'm geniually sorry I wrote so much even though I'm not usually but this case is special

I appreciate the apology but this is something I often observe with people who use Fe: they’ll apologize several timesfor long asks or asks that ignore the FAQ or whatever, but like, they still do it. I’ve had to have this conversation IRL with Fe users actually, of “I’m really not looking for an apology, I’m looking for the thing you’ve apologized for to stop.” That is a whole other post about communication though that I may make tomorrow.

I'm also really into helping others[(what contradicts with my mischief, here we go again (I didn't like the 2nd part of mamma Mia as much as the first - it was too sad, I cried in the cinema and the holiday-happy-vibe was missing, it's off topic, isnt it, the second part is called mamma mia: here we go again and I liked the first part so much I watched it like 20 times and know all the songs by heart)] (10/???)

This was the point where I decided to start fucking with you and to turn off anon, not going to lie, because I hadn’t read the rest but I saw 10/??? after an off-topic post about Mamma Mia and was like “okay we’re going to finish it now”

Anyway from this whole thing I cannot decide if you are an ISFJ or INTP, but I’m going to guess INTP as the 9w1 might be what was making me think high Fe before.

#mbti #long post #Anon ask #answered asks

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carrickbender · 8 years ago

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My Sunday seven, aka, I promise I'm not complaining....

1. First of all, thank you to all of you who reached out and it and sent good karma for my post the other day. I apologize for complaining, as I know so many of you who are dealing with so much more BS than I am and it really is not very fair or cool of me to even mention it. But I love you all for reaching out, and believe me it is highly appreciated. 2. On Friday, I finally got in contact with an orthopedic Physicians office, and they will be contacting me tomorrow on a date for an appointment with them. This is great, because I need to get fixed... And I don't mean snip-snip, no more Mommy Daddy button either! LOL so that in itself is absolutely awesome news. 3. Aaron and I played this weekend at the local Festival known as art walk, and it was a blast. We only played for an hour, and we might have had 20 people who actually sat on the bleachers and listen to us, but there were tons of people Milling around and tons of people who stopped and listened and moved on, but clapped at the end of songs. It was great to get Aaron back on the stage for the first time after he got sober, and I think it took a lot out of him to do it. He was super Brave about it, and I was grinning from ear-to-ear. During the beginning of one of the songs we covered, which is the Traveling Wilburys song called "Handle With Care", I even made mention of the fact that it was great to have my best friend back onstage with me again. You know, we joke about stuff but he truly kind of is the Edge to my Bono. I'm the guy who thinks nothing of getting up in front of a crowd and singing and working a crowd, whereas he is the guy who kind of settled in behind his guitar and goes to work. It's kind of funny, but it's how I Dynamic is these days and probably always will be. 4. During the days performance, I might have also found us a drummer, or should I say someone who is more than willing to play drums for us. My friend Jacob is an outgoing, charismatic, nuttier than nutty commercial fisherman who also happens to be an immensely talented musician. He plays drums, he plays guitar, he sings, and he's learning The craft. What's great is that in my wanting to Corral him and put him into our orbit, as it were I have this vision of creating a band that is a bit like the eagles... And no, we're not going to be that band that you turn off cuz you're having kind of a rough night... LOL! What I mean to say is that Aaron has very much a Don Felder vibe going on, minus the ego. Jacob reminds me a lot of a singing drummer by the name of Don Henley, and that he's very focused and is always working and looking two steps ahead. And then you have me, the songwriter, who is just as focused and is driven but is enough of a jackass that I'm fun that I could most definitely play the role of Glenn Frey in the band. Not that I'm comparing Us in town or musicianship to the Eagles, God no and never, but if that kind of rule. Now, if I could only find a another guitar player who is a little bit more like a reform Joe Walsh and a bass player who also sings like Timothy B schmit. A fella can dream, right? 5. So I got a whole bunch of offers over the weekend for paying gigs for this summer, which is absolutely great. It won't make up the income gap for me not fishing, but it most certainly will help. And on top of all of this, we are having some great progress with the two big music festivals that I'm organizing out here in Westport and in Hoquiam later this summer. The one in Westport is definitely taking on a life of its own, as we are most likely going to be sponsored by a couple of very large surf companies, and some other very big names so that are artists performing can get a decent paycheck and have great exposure at the same time. I'll keep you guys posted, it might be boring, but it also might be one hell of a ride. 6. So on a personal note, this week I've made and refashioned an idea for myself. I decided that part of my problem is that I need to go through a process more often than I am of rhe committing to my goals and dreams. Because I've come to the conclusion that it is not for lack of ability to do these things, but rather it's that I don't achieve them because I don't recommit and honor the initial obligation to myself of following through with my ideas reaching their goal. Honestly, it's not even the fact that I'm not following through, but rather the fact that I need to make sure that every day I make that commitment to myself. And maybe I'm wrong, but if I recommit to those goals for myself, I feel like I can Inspire others to reach their own goals, and within my own community we can reach our Collective goals together while helping each other up the ladder, as it were. For many years, I had a hard time committing to myself and to my goals because of a lack of self-worth. And while I sometimes still struggle with that lack of self-worth and self soothing and building my own ego from the feedback that I received from others, I know that it is important for all of us to sometimes sit back and say that we really truly do matter here and no matter how small of a contribution, it's still a contribution. And those goals, whether they be lofty or just barely rising from where you are right now, are still important and necessary and just as amazing as other people's goals. And in recommitting to myself, I feel like I honor those goals and those things about me that I truly do love and appreciate. I hope this makes sense, because I think it's something that all of us do and maybe I'm just late to the bandwagon of figuring out that this is one of the ways that successful people succeed. And that we committing to one's goals, and verbalizing and vocalizing that commitment everyday is super important to keeping your eyes on the prize as it were and keeping going. Does that even make sense? 7. And as this is the last of my Sunday 7 today, I would like to reiterate how much I appreciate all of you and what you do for myself and for each other as part of this community. When I said some of the things that I said this last week, and questioned myself looking out at all of you and the amazing things you're doing, I hope that that did not come across as angry at you for being amazing, because that's not what I meant. I really truly do enjoy seeing each and everyone of you do well, or start the walk back to the road to Wellness and a recommitment to the joy that is living. I just got a little bit sideways, and I just wanted to make sure tonight that all of you know how appreciative I am of everyone of you being supportive in my journey as a Fisher poet, as a singer-songwriter, as someone who is actively looking to become more healthy, and as a human being. Y'all make this planet spin just that much better, and you don't even know it! Have a great week!

#me #this is my life #commercial fishing #deckhand #singer songwriter #a dustland fairytale #just another white trash county kiss #in 61 long brown hair and foolish eyes #the killers help my empty feeling #I fill it with Barre chords and syncopation #i'm lonely #and yeah #I need sexy sexy times #she moved on why can't i?#Oh yeah #look in the mirror dude

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