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blindrapture · 1 year ago

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FRIDAY JUNE 17TH, 2011 (Going Brazilian)

8:10 AM TOO FUCKING EARLY SHUT UP

3:27 PM That’s better. I’m all rested up. Four and a half hours left. Shit, this is gonna either be really awesome or really, really get me killed. Or worse.

4:52 PM Just remember, Jordan. It’s for Donnie. It’s for Donnie. It’s for Donnie.

5:21 PM Prog. Prog passes the time away quickly.

6:19 PM Taking the sharpest rock,you cut the titan loose from his bonds After all you have been through, you'll be damned if you fear the sea anymore Only takes several cuts, and the tentacles all withdraw from the trench "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" Down comes lightning Strikes the titan All of those tentacles concentrate on you now Steam vent opens beneath And you are dragged to Hell

7:57 PM Door’s knocking. Paul Blackwood, you put it best in “Lowest Point” when you wrote Ready to end, ready to dissolve into atoms that are no longer your own.Then again, you also put it best when you said Draw a stairway for my God to spite the sofa of my faith. Hahahahahaaa… it’s for Donnie, it’s for Donnie, it’s for Donnie. >.<

7:58 PM Miiistreeeeess! :DDD Do you mind if I write this stuff down? I mean, it is an historical moment, our first date and everything. O: "Of course! I'm flattered! And also hungry. Let's go." …yes, let’s. x_x;

8:32 PM "Wow, I like this place. My pet, I praise you for good choice in atmosphere." Well, you know me. ^w^;; Always trying to please. "I'd be blushing if it weren't for my perfect wooden skin. When do we get to eat?" That’s entirely up to you! You’re the boss. >w> …she leaned over the table and smooched me on the cheek. Then she snapped her fingers and now we have a puppet waiter. "I'll have the steamed lobster, and my pet will have a large pizza, with pepperoni, spinach, and anchovies." o: How do you know my favorite food? "Oh, I know everything about you." .....god I hope not. but I just smiled. :) The waiter’s gone off to fetch our food. …SO, Mistress. I know it’s not my place and everything, but c’mon, it’s a date! Can you tell me about yourself? What’s your name? :D "Well, as you've probably gathered, they call me the Harlequin. I don't want you ever using that name, though. My title fits your lips just fine. ..besides, 'Harlequin' is back from when I was just a puppet…" …Mistress, you were once just a puppet? o___o "I know what you mean; how could I ever be someone's puppet? How could I fall for someone who just wants control over me? Someone who doesn't actually love me for who I really am? I.. don't really know, sometimes. ...I just don't know." ...o_o;; "I guess I'd may as well tell you this. If you're really, like.. going to be in my life, if you actually want to be around me, I can.. trust you. There was once a Master. Once. Before he met me. Oh, he was the cock of the walk, he had everyone eating out of the palm of his hand, he commanded respect, and you wouldn't believe, I mean even if I told you you literally wouldn't be able to believe just how many powerful people there were who did all he said. Again, before he met me. I was just another one of his victims at first. He had no reason to keep me alive. I was nothing, I was just a fucking girl, do you know I'm not much older than you? But he saw something in me. I think I reminded him of someone he knew. I don't know, I never worked up the courage to ask him, I really don't think he'd have told me. But he kept me around. He had me work for him, killing many innocent people. And I gained the epithet 'The Harlequin,' much like your 'White Jester.'" Wait. Really??? "Yeah. Funny, how things go, isn't it? I killed people, I was feared for it, and my master's pride in me grew and grew until, one day, he and I were properly in love... kinda." Kinda? "Yeah... I mean, I wasn't like you. You're, like, naturally submissive, so you came to the Pet lifestyle quite easily. I was... I am... naturally dominant, it's who I am, it got me into a lot of trouble back in my.. old... life... and, anyway, I didn't like serving some big honcho. So I did a very nasty thing." Did you.. kill him? "I did far worse than kill him. I made him wish he was dead. I had help, one of his friends, a guardian angel... he backed me up, and we made that fucker pay, together. That night, that 'friend' visited me again and gave.. gave me... my wooden skin. Which makes me invincible. It makes me a goddess. And I'm... thankful!!" ...I.. don't think you are. "Not what? Invincible? We can go toe-to-toe, you can fight me if you dare, you'll see, nothing can kill me. Nothing can even harm me! Nothing gets in my way. Nothing stops Rosa Syclus." ..Rosa. o: "You are never, and I mean never to call me that. Never repeat it. That life is over now. I will rule forever!" Of course, Mistress. "You're a good boy. Thank you for all this." It's. ..it's fine. c: Our food's here!

9:13 PM That was a delicious meal, Mistress. (Even though I never directly saw you eat; every time you left my sight and I looked back, you’d just have less food.) "I agree. Oh, and I have a present for you!" Aw, a present? .w.; Really? What? "I think you'll love it." (…motherfucker, there’s Tiger Stripes!) May I? "I don't see why not. Here, play us a clickity-clackety song, young Springsteen!"

9:14 PM Now that I have Tiger Stripes, what do you say we play a game, Your Greatness? "God, you're just so cute when you're trying to propose ideas. I'd love to play a game." Well. It’s simple. If you can get Tiger Stripes off me, you win!

9:19 PM RUNNING KITCHEN The puppets aren’t in here. I guess Mistress is really enthusiastic about playing along. Okay, I know where to hide, but the B-4000k isn’t open. Fuck. C’mon c’mon c’mon open open open oh my god open OPEN MY GOD THAT WAS LOUD KAY, I’m ducking. In front of the oven, behind the table. I should be obscured from Mistress’ view when she comes in. …"I like this game; it’s like my pet is playing hard-to-get." fuckfuck she’s in the kitchen now shhhh "I could swear I heard the sound of a pencil scribbling on paper!" ..welp. “Oh, was that Tiger Stripes hitting a table? Oh, not just any table, that was thaaat table right there! I think I’m just about to dominate you, bitch.” Her giggles, oh my god here she comes “AH. There’s my bitch.” She’s coming, just gotta be ready to swing… “Maybe after I ram that guitar up your ass, you can choke on my hairy pussy.” Sorry, Harly.. but this time, *sunglasses* you’re going Brazilian. Swing DIRECT HIT OH MY GOD CLOSE CLOSE OVEN CLOSE CLOSE OVEN CLOSE CLOSE OVEN CLOSE RJK(AGDJ YES OHHHH MY GOD THAT WAS ACTUALLY A FUCKING BADASS ONE-LINER I SAID BURN, YOU FUCKING PSYCHO. BURN. BURRRRRRRRN. BURN IN HELL WITH THE REST OF YOUR FUCKING PUPPETS. I can hear her screaming, oh my god, that’s pretty… disturbing. x_x;

9:26 PM Okay, it’s been long enough. Time to get out of here. …that noise didn’t sound like banging. That noise sounded like lifting. Tiger Stripes, give me strength. ..oh! Hi, Mistress! I see you lifted the oven door from inside! And I also see that you’re kinda on fire! Like, wow, you’re hot! Literally! Hahah, I mean.. you’re not mad at me, are you? See, that’s.. how you win the game! You shove the other person in the oven! I’m running now BONES YOU TOLD ME THAT THING WOULD BURN HER THEN AGAIN NO YOU DIDN’T YOU JUST GAVE ME THE RECEEEEEEIPT

9:30 PM OUT OF THE KITCHEN OH GOD THE RESTAURANT’S FRONT DOOR IS BLOCKED BY FIRE WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT FIRE COME FROM MISTRESS IS BEHIND ME ..AND SHE’S ALSO MELTING OH MY GOD THAT’S PRETTY BADASS She’s scorching black and her paint’s dripping off and she looks pretty hot! …oh, kissing your ass won’t work this time? Fuck.

9:31 PM WAIT, can’t we just cuddle? :DDD …STUPID QUESTION YOU’RE ON FIRE STAY AWAY Okay okay okay okay what to doooo OKAY NEW IDEA THERE ARE TWO DOORS TO THE KITCHEN SEE YA

9:32 PM I think I made it to the restroom without her spotting me. I think. Oh god I’m actually pretty scared, this is the fucking Harlequin we’re talking about. I can hear fire approaching and paint dripping to the floor closer and closer. Oh god shhhh

9:34 PM She’s walking away. I think I actually fooled her. Oh my god. ..wait. She stopped. …SHE’S CHARGING THE DOOR HIDE

9:35 PM shh

9:36 PM ..she’s not moving. Oh god, I’m in a stall, this is just like when we first met. Do I dare look under? …go for it oh my god. OH MY god she’s bending over, looking at me, yep. Except her face is mostly missing, except for one eye, staring at me, glaring at me while dripping to the floor. And she’s on fire.

9:37 PM ..I do not want to look again.

9:38 PM Then again, we’ll be here all night otherwise. She’s patient. …o_e She’s now officially faceless. Still on fire. Three stalls away. …….o___e Two stalls away. …………o_____e RUNNING, STICKING OUT TIGER STRIPES SO SHE WON’T TRIP ME

9:40 PM OH MY GOD HIDING UNDER ANOTHER FUCKING TABLE IN THE KITCHEN SHHHHH

9:42 PM She’s not saying anything at all and it’s really fucking creepy. She’s just melting. Slowly. I think, if I just avoid her for now, I’ll be good.

9:43 PM I HAVE AN IDEA I’ll whack her with Tiger Stripes again. Maybe, since she’s melting, she’s weak against it or something! C’moooon, Tiger Stripes. C’mooon Tiger Stripes. BATTER UP

9:44 PM …..o_____e I, uh.. well.. Tiger Stripes destroyed her wooden skin, alright. Now it’s shattering like a big piece of glass. And now esgjk9fb.. ..asrjgwemiefwmiefiwe. mwirIW$wrwirein! D: It’s Rosa Syclus. At least, what’s left of her after all these years of puppetry. She’s.. I mean, the wood’s gone, and the fire stopped with the wood. So now it’s just Rosa. And me. She’s in a dark-crimson dress. She’s a ginger. Freckles. And, well, okay, she’s more of a corpse than anything else, a living corpse. Except her eyes aren’t anything like any zombie I’ve ever seen. Her eyes are conscious and calculating. There’s no rage in those eyes, no impatience, no desire to rush and catch her prey, even though I’ve just been standing here like a sitting duck, writing for a while now. ..she’s put a hand on her hips. She knows I’m writing down her appearance. I don’t think she’s just creepy, journal; I think she’s a deductive genius. I think she can tell everything about you just by looking at you. Like Sherlock Holmes, but better, ‘cause she’s a dominant fucking girl! She’s just in the crimson dress. Nothing else. I think. …she just flashed me her naked crotch; yeah, she’s both wearing nothing else and she’s a deductive genius. And much hotter under the wood. ….no, Jordan. Don’t think about how hot she is, nor how brilliant and respectable she is. She’s a psycho. She’s a psycho. She is a psycho. Remember how she’s been forcing sex on you all this time? ”Forcing sex.” There’s a word for that, Jordan. Okay, Rosa. I don’t know what you’re planning, but right now I’m after one thing and one thing only. Revenge. You’ve caused too much trouble and I’m talking too much THIS IS FOR DONNIE! Rjsdgguig BEING SAT ON IS ACTUALLY PRETTY ENJOYABLE RIGHT NOW

9:50 PM RAGH BEING UNABLE TO GET FREE IS ALSO VERY LOVELY BUT I REALLY NEED TO.. GET GOING. …FJK(FEAJKEA MKI FUCK. FUCK. F(JICJI FUCK! ..RAGH OH MY GOD THAT WORKED SHE'S MUCH LESS HEAVY WITHOUT THE SUIT GOTTA RUN

9:52 PM KAY KITCHEN HIDE shh OH HI YOU’RE SMART I FORGOT OH GOD

9:53 PM FREEZER, slammed door shut, holding it shut, cold in here, fuck. This is pretty intense and terrifying. But if she was able to find me that easily then… What if she’s known I was planning this all along? Fuck. What if I really can’t kill her? How do you stop someone who’s fucking invincible? …I think I’ve got an idea.

9:55 PM Okay, this is gonna be extremely dangerous. And risky. But I’m gonna risk it. This time, I’ll write out the fucking plan before I do it so I don’t write during the action. Okay? Okay. So the plan is to open the door and get her to run in here, then for me to run out and slam the door shut and move something in front of the door. Then she can either freeze to death or for all eternity. Okay, kicking the door down in 3, 2, 1, GO

9:56 PM FFFFFF RHA HEY FUCK YUP GOTCHA TRAPPED OH MY GOD. …HOLY FUCK, DONNIE!

10:00 PM Donnie’s holding the door shut; I’m running to get something to keep the freezer shut with. …how heavy’s the oven? oh my god, why was this so expensive, even I can move it. I’ll move it in front of the door anyway.

10:01 PM Donnie and I are relaxing now. Rosa’s banging on the door. I haven’t heard one peep out of her since I set her on fire. Donnie’s shouting at Rosa, saying how we’re not afraid of her anymore. “We’re not afraid of being under your control, because we’re smarter than we look.” …Rosa’s stopped banging. Is she crying? o_o;

10:15 PM We decided to wait another fifteen minutes before we started moving out. Y’know. Just in case. Now we’ve left the restaurant. Over the fifteen minutes, I filled Donnie in with as much as I could. She can read this journal if she wants the full story, anyway. Donnie says she’ll fill me in on her story later, but the important part is she wanted to risk coming back a day early, so she entered a rabbit hole on the way back. I thanked her so much for it.

10:19 PM Donnie wants to stop by the house we’ve been staying at one last time.

10:34 PM Donnie’s telling me to come upstairs; there’s something she needs to show me.

10:36 PM Oh. :D Right. The promise I made before she left. Well. The puppetry is over, so maybe the genuine emotion can really begin? In the meantime, goodnight, journal. You’ll always be my first love. ;D …note: Donnie, if you ever read this, don’t kill me please.

(Attached: see following log.)

[PREV LOG] [TABLE OF CONTENTS] [NEXT LOG]

#ogtrib #oh god the rapture is burning #ogtrib act 1 #:)

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haunted-the-vagabond · 1 year ago

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WHO IS THIS GUY?

Yo!

My name's Ryan, aka HAUNTED THE VAGABOND, aka HAUNTED, aka HAUNT, aka some other nickname that I have gained over the year, like... Fademan Haunt or something, call me what you like!

I'm a 29-year-old, asexual icon who goes by he/him pronouns, and I am a Canadian originally from Saskatchewan, but currently living in British Columbia.

I work as a Radio DJ by day, and I do a bunch of other stuff on the side, like streaming, podcasting, and being a pro wrestling announcer!

Big music guy, beginning to collect vinyl, hoping to get a sick setup soon. I do have a heavy leaning towards rock, metal, prog, punk, and hardcore, but I fuck with a lot of shit, and I'm always hunting for more stuff to listen to, open to all suggestions!

FIVE ALBUMS TO GET TO KNOW ME:

Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here: Essential Floyd, everyone talks about Dark Side or The Wall, but Wish You Were Here is where it's at. Best album to put on and get lost in it

Deftones - Koi No Yokan: Top to bottom there isn't a song that isn't a bop or a banger on KNY. From "Swerve City" to "Tempest" to "Entombed", all heat

Pharoah Sanders - Pharoah: If you have a Sunday where you gotta do a bunch of housework, maybe it's raining, put on Pharoah, it's something you'll remember forever

Jessie Ware - What's Your Pleasure?: I'm not a Fantano fan by any stretch, but I gotta thank him for putting me on Jessie Ware. A modern disco album that fucks this hard? That's rare as hell!

Death Grips - Powers That B: "Black Quarterback" is my Fuck Shit Up song, "On GP" makes me emotional, great album

SPORTS

Big sports guy, I'll watch damn near anything from Hockey to Darts, if there is competition, I'm in there.

TEAMS/ATHLETES I SUPPORT:

Hockey: Vancouver Canucks (Main), Winnipeg Jets, Ottawa Senators, Philadelphia Flyers, PWHL Minnesota, Prince George Cougars (WHL)

Football: Saskatchewan Roughriders (CFL), Seattle Seahawks (NFL)

Baseball: Toronto Blue Jays (Main), LA Dodgers, St. Louis Cardinals

Basketball: San Antonio Spurs (Main), Toronto Raptors, Saskatchewan Rattlers (CEBL)

Soccer: Machester United (EPL), Vancouver Whitecaps FC (MLS)

College Sports: Michigan Wolverines (NCAA), Saskatchewan Huskies (USPORTS)

Lacross: Saskatchewan Rush

Combat Sports: Israel Adesanya (UFC), Tyson Fury (Boxing), Jon Moxley and Eddie Kingston (AEW), CM Punk, Kevin Owens, and Sami Zayn (WWE)

Golf: Tiger Woods

Video Games

I like them.

FIVE GAMES TO GET TO KNOW ME:

VA-11 Hall-A: Cyberpunk Bartending Action: Easily my favorite VN, entertaining characters, engaging world, I wanna get lost in it.

Halo 3: ODST: What if the cast of Firefly were in Halo and listened to a lot of Jazz? Yeah, peak.

Transistor: This is a beautiful game, it has a wonderful story and, a lovely soundtrack, a must-play if you love Supergiant games.

Hotline Miami: Soundtracks go a long way to elevate a game, and Hotline Miami is no different. Hotline Miami also boasts some real fast-paced, addictive gameplay. #TonyTime

Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne: Gameplay of a John Woo film fantastic noir story, Max Payne is one of the great characters in the medium.

Movies

I watch them.

FIVE MOVIES TO GET TO KNOW ME:

Clerks: Kevin Smith is one of my favorite directors, and Clerks is my all-time favorite comedy.

The Raid 2: If you loved the Raid, then you owe it to yourself to watch the Raid 2, it's just the Raid with a story, and it's fantastic!

Rocky: There are a lot of Rocky films, counting Creed as well, but nothing tops the first Rocky movie, the best top-to-bottom film in the series.

Porco Rosso: Everyone loves Spirited Away or Howl's Moving Castle, and they are right to do some, Miyazaki is one of the GOATs for a reason. But in my eyes, his best film is Porco Rosso. The landscape shots showcase his love of the Adriatic and Italy, the characters are lovely, and the dub, oh my goodness Michael Keaton as Porco is *chef's kiss*

Treasure Planet: Peak Disney movie, hyper fixated on it as a kid, and still love it to this day.

Anime

They alright.

FIVE ANIMES TO GET TO KNOW ME:

BECK Mongolian Chop Squad: This is the quintessential HAUNT anime. Very down-to-earth, simple but engaging story about someone finding their place in the world. In Beck's case, it's Koiyuki becoming this amazing singer/rhythm guitarist, and helping Beck become a premiere band in Japan.

Gurren Lagann: It's mother fuckin Gurren Lagann man, go watch it.

Steins;Gate: The group chat between me and some of my closest homies is called Future Gadget Labs NA, if that doesn't tell you how much this show brought me and my friends together, then I don't know what else to tell you. Never played the VN but the Anime was great!

Samurai Champloo: Life-changing anime, changed my whole perspective on music and my relationship to it. Helps that the show is GAS, with one of the hardest dubs out there.

Eden of the East: Just a straight up solid show with some good movies attached to it.

Fandom Shit

I don't really participate in a lot of Fandom discussion, I just will reblog stuff I like from my interest. An avid fan of D&D, Wrestling, Fighting Games, Hockey, Football, Anime, and a bunch of other crap I'm forgetting about.

So that's me, if you like what you see, hit me up!

#Posts that are only meant to be pinned #HAUNTEDLORE

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fullmusicbardsquared · 2 years ago

Note

Are there any other characters of note in Vinyl Hell :0?

hm, it depends on your definition of 'of note'- most of the characters disappear in and out but i'll talk about the more plot-instigator ones - and you can probably tell i am somewhat struggling with the mid-plot

idk if you saw allay's ask a few minutes ago um . the smart patrol are a group of 3 kids (like 10) who basically mistake the jester for a villain they fight and try to, well, fight him. they end up hitting his face and he gets knocked out and then they get bored and leave. this starts his transformation into a doll.. (they're from a devo song called smart patrol / mr dna)

when the jester is halfway between 'human' and doll, he meets seireeni (she's the devo song puppet boy). she basically tries to convince him to hang around with her and perform for crowds- and also realizes he isn't from the new wave world and tells him. she's silly but i haven't decided how yet

Farris is actually going to be important i promise . she's based on the great curve, a talking heads song from Remain In Light, a song about / with a theme of spirituality and divinity. i dont really know how to sum it up and i honestly just suggest listening to it . in contrast to most of the characters she is aware of the 'looping' nature of the musical world, and mostly views it as a freeing positive thing. this awareness will be important i just Don't Know How Yet also due to being from remain in light she is Gittens's sister

Okay this one require a bit of explanation. because i forgit to say it before.

the jester isn't a human guy. he's from the prog rock dimension. he's that yellow jester mentioned in like, 3 lines of in the court of the crimson king yayyyy. he doesn't remember this At First but, well... he will eventually encounter characters (i have not decided What Song Yet) who are going to be from king crimson songs- NEW WAVE ERA. yeah they dabbled in new wave at one point. YAY

i think that's all . i hope these make sense :-]D

#asks #gundamcalibarney #vinyl hell tag

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hospitalterrorizer · 2 years ago

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diary121

1/13-14/2024

friday - saturday

gonna test the newest export of the #problemsong right nowwwwwwwwwwwww.

okay, i do really really like the new guitar tone itself, so i think everything up to/through distortion i should not touch, i think really i just need to find where a lot of the rhythm is located, i guess. i guess also maybe i should try doing something where i take the guitar again and pan it left and then right, it might have more room that way to be heard better. i guess doubling a guitar that's so fucked up that also has the main riff inside could help. another thing is probably to cut some unnecessary highs, as many as i can get. and then, finally, i think the bass needs to be a little quieter. i'll figure out vocals when i get it doubled. i've just been reticent to do the doubling thing because it can very quickly become too much, plus getting the levels right can be difficult, and i don't want to pan too wide.

i did check another song, also, trying to see about using other tones from other songs in this one instead, and found that the bass was tooooo loudddddddd. always disheartening, but easy.

but today overall was pretty disheartening re: mixing, the confidence level plummets, i get miserable, but right now i think i'm happy. i guess i'll listen again to check but i shouldn't overdo it. it's like self harm sort of, testing if i'll get really upset. but it feels necessary.

i do like it though. i think panning will help bring out the lower frequencies in it, and it'll help the vocals be like, good. plus, since the song sounds like, okay, right now, i don't think the panning will create new/weird problems. so i guess i'll have to get it as close to right so i'm not working on 2 things separately, and then when that's good, double it. i think one way to get more low end out is but doing some of the high cuts, like i said, just not too many, and probably just shelving.

anyway, because of the miserable experience today i took a long shower, i tried to get back into watching the curse but like, i can't with that when i am moody. i did see something funny, i guess like perfectly timed as something for me to go feral on, which was some guy in a discord server doing this whole "i hate art. it's so decadent". he didn't actually say that but he did say people who care about art are idiots, that so many people who make it/are in scenes are stupid, it's annoying when people say artists are 'workers' (like solo artists aren't but when you get to big industrial level animation/filmmaking/graphic design or whatever, then it does become labor (it's obvious his idea of labor has to do with producing "useful" goods)). he said every second working on art prevents one from producing necessities. his posting was so evidently stupid it i guess made me feel something, like, it's so easy to critique it, obviously art isn't 'useful' and is broadly not meaningful in a like, totally material way, or a base material way. but art is a kind of communication, all of it, seeing where it's spectacularized is clearly important but his approach is this self serious and idiotic moral proselytizing, essentially, about how he's concerned about 'the real' and others ought to be too. it really is proselytizing, it's an effort to say to others, without saying outright, your soul needs saving, you are decadent, you are immoral. he brings up how you have to use equipment that people died getting, it's true, all this technology we have has blood on it, everything has blood on it, we live in hell, acting superior for a base materialism that essentially suggests that there is something 'necessary' one can do right now, is insane. what is necessary labor in capitalism, one can help, volunteer, but seeing a dude who formerly drummed in a fucking avant prog band talk about how art is a political failure of some kind because he doesn't understand marx/materialism is fucking irritating. this is the kind of politics someone arrives at via the reactionary mindset social media puts you in, his communist angle is a charade, it's essentially a kind of fascism that sees useless activity as decadent, as i continue to mention. i think what confounds me the most is the notion of utility, any worker right now, any labor, right now, how much of that is necessary, this is all mostly surplus, people volunteering do important work, people in hospitals might be doing important work sometimes. but people doing 'real' work as most people like this conceive it, hard labor, farming, serious 'skills' they imagine people needing on their imaginary utopian communes, this is all stuff that is not meant to last, every building made now serves a purpose of putting forth the appearance of growth and drumming wealth out of land. at this point, despite its relative uselessness, diy art is basically where people are most free/able to feel tethered to/ the possibility of the phrase "from each according to his ability to each according to his needs," his perspective is one that stems from the bourgeois notion that work=suffering, and so he has to suffer like jesus to illustrate to us that everyone is wasting their life force (his perspective is also a vitalist one) on producing useless things, when there is 'important' work to be done. there is, surely, it's just not going to be accomplished by someone who is solely in the grip of ressentiment and moralizing.

it is such a freakishly irritating perspective to see, it's common among certain communists. i really don't like the whole communist infighting thing or whatever, but people make it hard because, to put it bluntly, they are annoying and go on twitter dot com too much and it rots the insides of their heads until they decide they need to post in an art community that is mostly just poor trans women. it really is such a painfully bourgeois perspective.

anyway the rant is cathartic, i'm also under no illusions about either this rant or what i'm doing being important or even good in terms of helping the world, but i don't know, maybe i am just a touch too immoral, being at peace with that. i don't know. i think it's more immoral to create ways of thinking/enforce ways of thinking that make people feel that, if they aren't proceeding in an exact and certain way, of thinking and action, are immoral. it's so ugly.

i want to be liberated and sovereign, not alienated and able to see labor as something happy, to participate in, to do things as they really are needed, for others and myself, i want to be with everyone doing something, to make life happen. but we aren't there, and getting there won't happen by holding onto petty sentiments of the only way through to this is pain and asceticism, and through an excess of guilt.

sorry for the very dumb rant, though, also.

i also have so much energy rnn, it's sickeninggg, i did my workout to give myself energy to help write this but it's like, fucking me up, the morning light + allnighter dopamine are hitting me in a fucked up way, but it feels good.

now i am starting to get tired. i also did get some more writing done after the shower, so today was productive in that way. disappointments in music seem to get me to do better with writing. at least.

okay now it's like 2 pm and i'm not sleep so, idk, but i should go now so,,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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hisuianhellion · 2 years ago

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@justasong asked:

what is your favorite song?

This is gonna be... a long one. I'm unreasonably passionate about this band and this song in particular, so I really am sorry for a HUGE explanation when you probably just wanted a short "here it is, I like it because of this" response. Long story short, it's an old rock song I doubt most of you would know, but would be overjoyed if some of you did. S'a band my dad got me into my favorite genre with.

... and in effect, I've got a weird pick. One I don't think anyone could ever really expect from me. I've shown some funk, some fusion, some good old fashion hard rock. Check out my tag, #songs in hisui to see a few song reccs.

My actual favorite band? S'called Rush. They disbanded a good few years back, but hey. For a band that formed in the 70s, making it to the 2010s and ending things on their terms was one hell of a showing. Progressive Rock is my favorite genre, with its subgenres of Progressive Metal and Prog being close behind.

Lotta their songs are based on telling stories or trying to convey feelings. Their most popular album, Moving Pictures, is a string of stories. Even has by far their most popular instrumental, YYZ, on it. Another bits of their bread and butter was concept albums. Normally, they're effectively a string of songs that all tell one cohesive narrative, and their last album, Clockwork Angels, did exactly that. But these guys are fuckin' insane, and instead had a tendency to make Concept SONGS. Ever heard of 2112? Yeah. That's a 20 minute long SCI-FI EPIC. Just because they fucking could.

But I tend to gravitate to the songs that convey pure feelings from them. And none better conveys that than this song from the album Power Windows: Emotion Detector. And it's all about letting your emotions run rampant about the dissatisfaction about other people's views of you.

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Would you believe me if I told you that it helped me come to terms with who I was as a person? 'Cause it bloody fuckin' did. It's part of the reason I keep a healthy respect for the loud and proud, but know that those too quiet to really speak up for themselves might not just doing it because they want to. How there's the feeling buried so damn deep inside of you that just NEEDS to get out, and that waiting for the approval of others to show it isn't necessary; you've gotta discover it for YOURSELF. "Feelings run high", and that tone inside needs a voice to shout it out!

HI.

I'M TRANS.

I'M PROUD OF MYSELF FOR BEING WHO I AM, AND THIS SONG WAS A CATALYST FOR HELPING ME PUT TOGETHER THE PIECES OF MY MIND WHEN I NEEDED HELP TO DO IT.

MUSIC. SAVED. MY. HEART. AND LET ME BE WHO I AM AS A PERSON.

...

That... isn't to say you need to like this song. None of that. Some people aren't fond of Rush due to the vocalist. Some don't like this album in particular for its heavy reliance on synths when the 80s were at their peak, LEAST of all the guitarist at the time (boy did he throw a fit about this album). But... it feels like a song made for people like me. To just... give a description to a feeling we can barely comprehend ourselves. And hopefully after understanding it, move past it.

... I like music, okay? It's my comfort food. It's what keeps me feeling like myself.

#Anonymous #pokemon roleplay #pokemon rp #pokemon irl #rotomblr #rotumblr #rosy ramblings

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skullamity · 1 year ago

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I think the reason that it doesn't happen often, especially if it hops genres, is that the fans will vocally hate on shit that isn't more of the same old thing, and the farther away from 'the same old thing' that is, the worse the backlash. A really fun example of this is Garth Brooks' "Chris Gaines: Greatest Hits" which was a weird pop album that Brooks released in like...1999? featuring vocals by Brooks but attributed to fictional pop star Chris Gaines (Brooks with a 'Toby Maguire in Spiderman 3' haircut and a soul patch), made to accompany a Music Mockumentary that ended up falling through when the reception for the album was bad. It wasn't a groundbreaking album, but it wasn't a bad album, either, but people literally thought that Brooks had completely lost his mind in the wake of it. As far as I know, it was his first and last foray into pop.

But I get why you want this, because when it does happen? Holy shit, some of the coolest, most unexpected music and concept albums I've ever heard!

One of my faves, to this day, is Sound & Fury, released by Sturgill Simpson in 2019!

So, I have mixed feelings on country music. I grew up in a household where it was nearly all my parents would listen to, and while I still have a love for some of the older, ballad-y, story telling stuff that was new when I was a kid (Garth Brooks, Reba McEntire), I also got to watch country music get bland and nationalistic, post 9/11. I had never heard of Sturgill Simpson prior to Sound & Fury, but I did give his music prior to S&F a listen and it just wasn't for me. It's very...classic country. Inoffensive. I can see why people like it.

Do you know what people who like it did not like? Sound & Fury.

Sound & Fury is a post apocalyptic concept album released in 2019 that veers right out of country right into hard rock, funk, and grungy, scrungly, gritty-sounding electronica. The music videos for it were all animated (and anime???), varied wildly in style/tone and need to be watched in a specific order for the story to play out. I don't know if it's still up there, but the entire set could be viewed in one go as a weird artsy short movie on Netflix. People who love inoffensive country Sturgill Simpson HATED this album, and, knowing nothing about his older music, I was just thrilled to be listening the entire way through!

I don't know if he'll ever do something like this again, but it was refreshing to see him in post-release interviews stating straight up that he'll make whatever music he wants, and if people don't like it, that's their problem--he'd rather quit making music than base his choices on what people think he should be making.

Anyhow, I want this to happen more, always. Thanks for posting this, btw, because it made me realize it's been a while since I gave Sound & Fury a re-listen. I'm gonna end this post with some embedded vids of stuff from S&F, I am going to link ONE S&F video because I forgot that a lot of the others heavily feature naked anime boobs and tumblr doesn't like that.

But also if you like this sort thing, Devin Townsend is constantly making weird and awesome concept albums that are usually prog metal, but are sometimes acoustic, sometimes have very opera style singing and some are ????? indescribable. He's also goofy as hell. I discovered him because he guested on Ayreon's weird and cool concept prog metal opera album, The Human Equation.

My dude has 23 solo studio albums (at least two of which are about an evil space alien on a quest for a cup of coffee) and 4 live albums, and also did/does livestream shows and gigantic, super weird and creative live shows. He also does a lot of vocal team-ups with Anneke van Giersbergen and they are always a treat.

Finally, didn't include this above because this is ALL they do, but if you like concept albums, I was blown away be the entirety of Unleash The Archer's album Apex, which is a metal concept album with an extremely talented female vocalist (the rest of the band is also just so technically gifted, this is the first song I heard from it, and it still blows me away every time I re-listen).

Anyhow, I live to add new things to my listening rotation, so as soon as I hit post I'm going to scrape through the notes for this to see if anyone else is recommending stuff! Thanks again, OP!

Rock bands used to just write about whatever the fuck. Not to be all "old music was better!" but when's the last time the world's highest selling band released a song about killing people with hammers. The Who made an entire rock opera about a deaf, mute, and blind guy who is so good at pinball that he inspires a cultlike group of devotees who think he's the next christ. It was released at the peak of their popularity and was made into a movie featuring people like Elton John and Tina Turner.

I think classic rock gets a reputation for being all about girls and cars and drugs but for about 15-20 years there were absolutely no rules on acceptable song subject matter. Pink Floyd has a song about a gnome going on an adventure. Alice Cooper has a whole album about breaking out of the Ableist Insane Asylum because he misses his dog. These weren't weird little indie groups, these were all highly successful charting bands getting radio airplay and selling out stadiums.

We need to bring this culture back. No more love songs. Sing about wizards.

#music #more weird shit please #just go fucking ham

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lovejustforaday · 5 months ago

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2024 Year End List - #1

Imaginal Disk - Magdalena Bay

Main Genres: Indietronica, Progressive Pop

A decent sampling of: Synth Pop, Art Pop, Psychedelic Pop, Synth Funk, Alternative Dance, Disco, Chillwave

This really might be my most predictable AOTY so far.

If you were in the right circles this past year, then 2024 was really more the year of Imaginal Disk Autumn than it was about Brat Summer. Doesn't really roll off the tongue quite the same way, but regardless - this was a huge moment for indie nerds.

Magdalena Bay have pretty much been a hipster-beloved act since the duo's inception. Matt Lewin and Mica Tenanbaum are two Miami-based, Jewish-Argentinian-American pop afficianados and former prog rockers with a knack for music that is endlessly fun, slick as all hell, and seemingly effortless. They began putting out singles in the mid-2010s and quickly garnered a loyal online cult following.

Their debut LP Mercurial World was a much anticipated record that delivered on many fronts and established them as formidable underdogs in the world of alternative pop music. It was also my 2021 AOTY, so I guess this year's number one isn't all that shocking.

In fact, with how monumental this year's Mag Bay release felt, you probably woulda thought that the band had been well-established indie darling veterans for the entirety of the last decade at least. Imaginal Disk's drop felt like it might as well have been a new Tame Impala or Beach House record for how the online indie nerds (myself included) gleefully reacted to this. And it isn't hard to see why.

In one word, Imaginal Disk is ambitious. Just a ridiculously ambitious record. An album that seeks to be as much as it can possibly be all at once. The record is built from pure imagination, and sets not the sky as the limit, but rather the edges of the known universe.

The debut Mercurial World was incredibly polished, arrived almost fully formed, as though Matt and Mica had been making pop records for years, but if the debut had any considerable flaws, it would have to be the moments where it played it safe, sounded too much like what you expected it to be (yes, this is me nitpicking the hell out of what is still a brilliant record).

But Imaginal Disk subverts all expectations. While I would still describe it as mainly being an electronic pop record with a lot of prog on it, there's actually so much going on here that it was quite hard to come up with the genre tags that I normally always put on these reviews. It's also an apparent product of meticulous perfectionism - Mica describes in one interview about going through dozens and dozens of vocal takes just to recreate the way she sounded on one of the demos for "Killing Time".

True to the band's prog roots, the record has a "loose" concept wherein it explores, and in some ways, cheekily parodies ideas surrounding trans-humanism. The story involves exactly what you get on the admittedly garish cover art - a protagonist who is made to undergo a sort of trans-humanist experiment by higher beings via a disk insertion. It makes a lot of sense with context; Mica and Matt are very much denizens of the internet, and clearly fascinated and enamored with the uncanny aesthetics of false utopian futurism that are present in internet movements like the vaporwave genre. Mag Bay has also never been above giving a wink and a nod to their own online-ness - after all, this is the band that officially released their own "slowed+reverb" version of one of their most successful early singles.

I could also interpret Imaginal Disk as a timely commentary on all of this "A.I." a.k.a. machine learning snake-oil bullshit, but then I'm not entirely sure that its meant to be referencing that particular venture capitalist dystopian phenomenon, so much as it is generally just playing around with and poking fun at the concept of web 3.0, and a merger between the internet and reality, technology and humans.

There's also a bit of an overarching narrative of being up-ended and thrown into an unfamiliar world. This theme could be pulling its inspiration from a few different sources - a recounting the band's Jewish ancestors that fled Nazi Germany for Argentina, then emigrated to the U.S., or reflecting on the way that Matt and Mica took on the risk of sailing into uncharted territories as self-produced, unconventional independent pop artists after years spent playing in a rock band. It could also be related back to the aforementioned themes of trans-humanism and rapid technological growth, and the mutual sensation of being thrust into the generally tumultuous, rapid-pace, and anxiety-inducing scary new world that is the state of news, pop culture, social media and the internet in the 2020s era.

Idk, there's a lot of layers here, and they all certainly enrich the experience of the record. But what's kind of crazy is that you could pretty much just ignore all of the deeper layers of meaning, tune out all the tongue-in-cheek references to tech-obsession and new age-y spiritualism, and this would still be one of the very most bold, unique, and uncompromising pop records of the last ten or twenty years. The concept is cool and all, but the music alone already speaks for itself and leaves a lasting impression unlike any other pop record of the last few years.

Also, some quick credit where it's due - a huge part of what elevates a decent couple of these tracks is the usage of live drums, and those can be credited to the duo's former Tabula Rasa bandmate Nick Villa.

And now, perhaps my most needlessly long rundown of individual tracks on a record to date 🥴:

"True Blue Interlude" is kind of like a skit with its one minute and fifty seconds runtime, but it's also very much a piece that stands on its own, and actually made its way into my top 3 heaviest rotation of the tracks off this record. You've closed your eyes, seemingly attained nirvana, and now reawaken to find yourself transported to some gorgeous, windswept desert island oasis. The only catch is that you've also somehow found yourself in the middle of a commercial for a prescription drug; or at least it certainly feels like that, except the medicine in this case is the titular disk, applied directly to the forehead. This track makes me weirdly nostalgic for my childhood playing games like Wii Sports and MapleStory, that had these kinda cheesy but very nonetheless endearing, cushy, leisurely and altogether highly pleasant new age soundscapes for BGM. Very early PC music as well, as I'm tempted to describe the lyrics as a little bit "post-ironic".

"Image" is the most immediate cut from the record. It's this all-in-your-face propulsive synth pop spectacle that dives deeper and deeper down a futurstic, funhouse rave rabbit hole as it goes on. The track promotes the ideas of an updated self; a complete makeover into a seemingly perfect version of the you that you've always wanted to be. To me, there's an element of commentary here on the irresistible allure of being noticed and perceived in our hyper-stimulative age of social media and influencer mania. More specficially, the glitz of the production and the overpromising lyrics manage to capture this perverse desire to essentially commodify and compartmentalize the presentation of the self in this sort of unattainable way. And the beat on this thing? Fucking stellar m8.

"Death & Romance" is sort of an Act I climax for the first few tracks of the record. This glorious airshow of an alternative dance song manages to grow wings and learns how to fly, with verses that ebb and flow with changing winds on a majestic cumulonimbus cloud bed of live percussion and glowing piano chords, and the most insanely infectious melody of the entire year. Mica harnesses the power of love and becomes a soaring angel, using her divine aerial powers to make it physically rain good vibes all over the entire surface of the Earth. This track oozes pure awesomeness, kicks every single ass in existence, and makes me fall in love with the very idea of music itself all over again. SOTY contender and it still might not even be my favourite track on the record.

Things wind down a little bit for "Watching T.V.", a song that feels like its floating around those little gloopy blobs inside of a lava lamp, except its an entire sea of the stuff. Mica's delivery is so chill and zen; I love the little way she intonates the "hello, how are you?" in the pre-chorus. Vibraphone is a very nice touch too, I've always considered it a very psychedelic instrument. By the way, is it too much of a cliché or faux-pas at this point to say an electronic pop song incorporating simple wave synths sounds "like a video game"? Whatever, this track is a nice little head massage, at least before it turns into a blindingly bright, technicolor cacophony eruption at the end.

This directly transitions into the beginning of "Tunnel Vision", another one of the record's highest highs. Eerie strings hearken to B-movie horror as the previous track's outro would have seemed to have opened up an eldritch schism in the Earth's crust, except for what emerges from the opening is the soft plinkety sounds of a friendly alien. The rest of this track is just pure geeky prog pop fanservice for nerds who get HORNY at the idea of tempo shifts and 70s homage big band breakdowns in the middle of their cutesy electronic pop song (it's me, I'm the nerd). Plus the absolutely out-of-this-world lift off of an outro with all of the wiry spaceship synth sounds and virtuosic rock drum solo bravado. By the end of it, I'm not entirely sure if I just reached light speed, reached clim😳x, or both simultaneously.

"That's My Floor" is a cartoonish psychedelic pop rock trip that I imagine would immediately follow the melting of crayons with play-doh and then drinking the resulting thick, unicorn-coloured solution (y'know, at least before your stomach rejected it and your kidneys exploded). The electric guitar on this is right crunchy and thunderous. I'm not even entirely sure where this fits in the rest of the album's supposed narrative, it's kind of a wild card, but to be honest I'm really just too busy soaking up all the radioactive fluorescent juices of this certified banger.

The record reaches yet another tremendous climax with "Cry for Me", a heavenly and stratospheric indietronic-disco-prog magnum opus that embraces pop maximalism as though it were a religion. I feel taller than sky scrapers listening to this, with my head up in the cosmos, and shooting stars passing by my ears, meanwhile the universe is my own personal illuminated dancefloor covered in a thick dreamy fog. Mica weaves the story of a sullen person demanding tears and pity for her having supposedly been wronged. After a couple of short verses, the song has its metaphorical head dunked completely underwater for a brief intermission, before coming up gasping for air. It's after this moment that everything really kicks in, and something fundamental about the song shifts as the voice of Mica echos a forlorn "fate, lead me astray".

From here on, I would describe the listening experience as akin to having the most glamorous, cathartic, and theatrical mental breakdown of your life, falling to your knees in the middle of the spotlight of an empty auditorium, begging and pleading to your only witness, the highest power, while being completely at the mercy of an uncaring universe. "Shared a little kiss and that's forever / think of love when you remember me" is my favourite lyric in any pop song of the last few years - its such a deliciously simple and bittersweet sentiment. Mica's practically kicking and screaming for acknowledgement by the fading of the outro. This track brings a whole new, much more literal meaning to the term "pity party", and I have definitely listened to this during some of my most stressful moments over the past year, and have felt immense release because of it. At the very moment of writing this review, I will say that this is my favourite off the record, and my definitive song of the year.

The penultimate "Angel On A Satellite" is a tender piano ballad complete with gentle pitter-patter hand drums and a cozy acoustic guitar. Chorus is absolutely killer, especially thanks to the little key change, and that recurring refrain hits me right in the sweet spot, even if its basically an interpretation of the standard major scale on piano. I could very much see this not being someone else's thing - it might be a little too sincere for the cynical, but I'd be a damn liar if I didn't admit that this makes me choke up a little bit inside. Sure, it's a fair bit simpler as far as what we've come to normally expect from Magdalena Bay, but it's also soooooooooooo incredibly effective.

"The Ballad of Matt & Mica" ends the record on the most fell-good, triumphant note, like a victory lap or a sigh of relief, and it puts a big ol' grin on my face every time I listen to it. The melody and lyrics interpolate those of the opening track, offering a moment to reflect on the journey that both the band and listener just completed, and just that aspect of the song alone gives me goosebumps every time I listen to it. It's really as if you just scaled a mountain, and now you're looking back, thinking to yourself like "yeah, I actually did that". The little shots on the "bang! bang! and a happy ending" really seals the deal. Matt and Mica sound damn happy and proud of what they made here and yeah, they really should be. You just gotta root for these two.

This is a landmark record in pop music. So rare is it that a record of any genre comes across feeling so complete, so much what it was always meant to be. In a very meta-way, Imaginal Disk really delivers on its inter-textual promises on tracks like "Image" and "True Blue Interlude" of an experience that feels elevated, hyper-real even.

For the love of god, just listen to the masterpiece record already. It's 11:00 pm on a Friday, on the last day of February and my fingers are officially done typing. Happy 2025, folks (all three or four of you), sorry it took this long.

10/10

Highlights: "Cry for Me", "Death & Romance", "Tunnel Vision", "Angel On A Satellite", "Image", "True Blue Interlude", "That's My Floor", "Watching T.V.", "The Ballad of Matt & Mica", "Killing Time", "Love Is Everywhere", "Fear, Sex"

FOR FANS OF:

Impossible Princess by Kylie Minogue

Merriweather Post-Pavilion by Animal Collective

Djinn by Lingua Nada

Head First by Goldfrapp

Shoso Strip by Sheena Ringo

Desire, I Want to Turn Into You by Caroline Polachek

#album review #music review #list #aoty #year end list #2024 #aoty2024 #indietronica #progressive pop #magdalena bay #imaginal disk #mica tenenbaum #matt lewin

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dadscarathon · 10 months ago

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October 2024 Ahhhhgenda

For past Spooptober Scarathons I sort of wing it. I store up memories of movies and shows I want to watch all year, then hunt them up each day as I go. This year, I thought it would be fun to lay them out ahead of me, choosing one each calendar day. If nothing else, it will save me some time pouring through my Shudder queue!

I'll start with one that I hope will be on the list, but may not be. I'm a huge fan of the Terrifier series, and this year we get the third movie in the theaters! There's some chance I won't get to go to the theater, so we'll see, but that's my hope!

Here's the list in no particular order, with a rephrased synopsis and which service/method I intend to use to watch.

Destroy All Neighbors (Shudder) A prog rock oriented horror movie? OK!

Terrifier 3 (Theater) I haven’t read the synopsis, because trying to fathom a plot involving Art the Clown is a bit like pondering the existence of free will.

Mean Spirited (Shudder) An influencer goes on vacation and gets a demon.

YellowBrickRoad (Shudder) A town’s population disappears and “intrepid” (that’s a horror euphemism for “victim”) explorers go to find them. Seems like a horror take on OZ, which I also enjoy.

Let the Wrong One In (Shudder) A little brother turns into a vampire and the protagonist must make a choice.

Late Night with the Devil (Shudder) A rival to Carson ends up unleashing a hell on late night watchers.

The Pale Door (Shudder) Failed train robbers hide out in a ghost town and encounter some witches.

Blood Quantum (Shudder) There’s a zombie apocalypse, but for some reason the Mi'gmaq tribe are immune and must now survive.

Blood Relatives (Shudder) An old Yiddish vampire meets his possible daughter.

Hellbender (Shudder) Izzy was raised in isolation by her Mom, and once free to explore the world finds out something dark about herself.

Blumhouse’s Fantasy Island (Hulu) Didn’t read the synopsis… But I know what Fantasy Island is. And what Blumhouse is ;)

Bad Hair (Hulu) A woman gets a weave and… It attacks?

Down (Hulu) People trapped on an elevator turn out to be terrible.

Wounds (Hulu) A bartender picks up a phone someone left behind.

The Seeding (Hulu) A man lost in the wilderness seeks refuge with a stranger, then finds out she’s not there willingly or alone.

Mr. Harrigan’s Phone (Netflix) Some connections never die, apparently.

Eli (Netflix) A young boy undergoes some horrifying medical procedure

Insidious: The Red Door (Netflix) A demon haunts a family. Which, honestly… I guess “Insidious” sort of gave that away, eh?

Out of Darkness (Paramount+) 45,000 years ago some people are stranded on an island.

Jennifer’s Body (Hulu) Jennifer has some less than savory tendencies after an occult run-in. I can’t remember if I’ve ever seen this, but I wanted to watch it just in case, as there’s another movie in the same setting on this list.

Lisa Frankenstein (Amazon Prime Video) Lisa’s boyfriend is dead… But that won’t stop her.

Stopmotion (Amazon Prime Video) A stop motion animator has an experience

Arcadian (Amazon Prime Video) Nic Cage defending his family at the end of the world.

I Saw The TV Glow (MAX) Owen is introduced to scary stuff by his friends, and his reality cracks

In a Violent Nature (Amazon Prime Video) The victim of an ancient crime is resurrected to visit vengeance against trespassing teens.

A Quiet Place: Day One (Paramount+) The world goes quiet… Spooky.

X (Paramount+) Someone tries to make an adult film, and it doesn’t go well

Pearl (Shudder or Netflix) Set in 1918 a lonely farm girl goes to extremes for fame

Oddity (Shudder) A blind psychic’s twin is murdered and now she’s back to make it right…

Divinity (Shudder) Two brothers abduct a mogul and things get weird

Suitable Flesh (Hulu) A psychiatrist becomes a murderer and the story unfolds as to why that has to happen

Know a movie I have to watch that isn't on this list? Let me know in the next two days! Or, hell, any time in the next 31. Anything goes up to the last day, so I'm open to suggestions.

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bmaxwell · 2 years ago

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Game of the Year 2023: Not the Top 10

Some best-of categories, with every bit as much pomp and fanfare as The Game Awards!

Best Music:

The Last Spell

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Some other games had some truly memorable moments with their music this year, but none had a soundtrack as consistently great as The Last Spell. Admittedly prog metal is right in my wheelhouse, but god DAMN this game where you move the little guys around the map and blow up little monsters did not need its music to go this hard.

Also great music: Dredge, Diablo IV, Honkai Star Rail, Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood

It’s Not You, it’s Me:

Book of Hours

Sometimes a game seems perfect for me, but for whatever reason I just can't hit my stride with it. Other times I can tell a game is wonderful, but it either asks too much of me or just isn't my style.

This year had quite a few of these, but the honor goes to Book of Hours. It's the follow up to 2018's obtuse-but-cool-vibes game Cultist Simulator. I couldn't get my head around that one. I tried. I read guides. I watched videos. I started over again and again. I put 7 hours into it and finally accepted that whatever seems to be there - and I can tell that there IS something there - I just don't get to savor it. It's like those magic eye pictures. I believe you that there's a sailboat there if you unfocus your eyes the right way, but I've stared at it for 30 minutes and I'm sweaty and irritated and have a slight headache.

Books of Hours played out exactly the same as its predecessor, except this time I refunded the game before it hit two hours played.

Fuck your sailboat.

Runners up: Chants of Sennaar, A Space for the Unbound, Shadow Gambit, Lies of P, Aliens Dark Descent

Old Game of the Year:

Yakuza 6: The Song of Life

Kiryu gets out of prison to find his adopted daughter Haruka is in a coma and she has a TINY BABY named Haruto so Kiryu's gonna just chill and do his own thing HAHA JUST KIDDING he's gonna protect Haruka and protect that baby and find out who attacked her and who Haruto's father is and is Haruka gonna come out of her coma stay tuned and find out in Yakuza 6: The Song of Life!

Runners up: Soul Hackers 2, Tiny Tina’s Wonderland, Tales of Arise

Best Moment or Sequence:

Alan Wake II: The Herald of Darkness

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--- SPOILERS AHEAD ---

2023 had some great moments, none more memorable than this live action sequence in Alan Wake II. The game blends full motion video sequences with gameplay and in-engine cutscenes beautifully. None stands out more than the bizarre section where Alan is again drawn into the television and onto the set of a late night talk show. "This time" the host says "we're going to do what we always do, but instead of talking we'll sing it!" What followed is the best kind of ridiculous, tongue planted firmly in cheek.

--- END SPOILERS ---

Raphael's Final Act in Baldur's Gate III was an impossibly close second on this list. Runners up: Baldur's Gate III: Raphael's Final Act, Diablo IV: Storming the Gates of Hell, Hogwarts Legacy: Sebastian's story arc, Resident Evil 4 Remake: Ringing of the Church bell, The Man who Erased his Name: Kiryu's Ending Best Remake:

Super Mario RPG

I'm a cranky old man about the endless reboots and remakes in TV and film. I hate them. They're money grabs, cashing in our nostalgia and desire for comfort food. With the medium of videogames however, remakes generally make a lot more sense unless you're Naughty Dog. This year had a lot of great remakes. My brain says Resident Evil 4 was the best, but my heart says Super Mario RPG. I played it when it released in 1996 and I remember loving it, but I had lost all details of it. This gave me an excuse to replay it, and it's as magical as I remember. The game's writing and humor are incredibly charming. Mario as the silent protagonist in a world where everyone else can speak is great as he is forced to pantomime everything. The combat is snappy and the timed button presses help spice it up. The play time is short for an RPG, with some fat trimmed off the original release to come in at a dozen hours. All the goodness Nintendo fans know from Paper Mario and the Mario & Luigi RPG's started right here with Square.

Runners up: Resident Evil 4, Dead Space, Like a Dragon: Ishin, We Love Katamari: Reroll, Star Ocean Second Story R, Baiten Kaitos I & II HD Remaster

Looking Forward to It:

Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth

Holy shit there are a lot of great RPG's coming out next year. But a new Like a Dragon game is at the top of my list. Ryu ga Gotoku has Yakuza 8 to build upon for their second turn based RPG. This one takes place in America and it gives us Ichiban and Kiryu. I can think of nothing I'd rather play.

Runners up: Final Fantasy Rebirth, Granblue Fantasy: Relink, Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes, Unicorn Overlord, Metaphor ReFantazio

#goty 2023

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soraldiguess · 2 years ago

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This is gonna be an annoying response that you don't want sorry but as an avid music listener I wanna throw my two cents in This question really depends on the particular song and the genre. Like (usually) I would find a 5 minute pop-rock song to be way too long but an 8 minute prog rock song to be a great length. Some examples, I think Jesus Of Suburbia - Green Day and Won't Get Fooled Again - The Who are great songs that are a good length But other songs like Sexy Back - Justin Timberlake or The Rockerfeller Skank - Fat Boy Slim to be an insufferable length despite both these examples being 4 mins and 6 mins respectfully but the other two songs I showed about to be 8 minutes (btw I used both these examples as they are songs that I enjoy much more if they were cut down, to the point where I actually enjoy them, I like pop music so it isn't a case of this genre goes too long because I hate this genre) For me it comes down to how much material is in the amount of time, and I think anything that doubles the length to the amount of material is bad. Like Sexy Back has a fun hook and is very silly song. But really (especially becasue it only has the one hook) is a song that would be way better at 2 mins, good even. And The Rockerfeller Skank has a bit more too it, but with how repetitive it is, you could easily shave off 3 minutes and nothing of value would be lost. Whereas Jesus of Suburbia is a full story so obviously none of that could be cut. But Won't Get Fooled again is just a Classic Rock song, and admittedly the synth break could be shorter, but I don't think I could cut 4 mins off, only maybe 1, the rest of the 7 minutes of this song are super justified To answer the question your way, I guess I don't have a barometer, I love Pigs - Pink Floyd and that is 20 mins, hell I can listen to a 30 mins symphony, but what I do have is a tolerance, a songs length has to be justified and if there isn't enough unique material in the length then yeah, and sometimes even a 4 minute song can be way too long (honestly I was certain Sexy Back was like 6 mins because that is what it feels like)

Im kinda curious. When would you start considering a song long? I realize my barometer for it is a little messed up because I tend to listen to genres with longer songs. Also im talking sprcifically about individual songs, if you listed to a lot of mega mixes or sets, im talking about individual songs lengths used for those mixes.

Would love to to try and get as many eyes on this as possible so if you could please reblog that would be fantastic.

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stanleywbaxton · 3 years ago

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I Hate the Dad in Ayreon's Theory of Everything

I must begin this by saying this essay is a compliment, especially hot off the heels of my last. This isn't hate from bafflement at artistic choices and the longing want of how much better something could have been.

No, dear reader. No. This is a resounding applause, at how a single fictional man is able to incite pure unfiltered vitriol.

I have never hated a character in any sort of media as much as I hate this man. He lives rent free in an apartment of my mind that's overgrown with mould. Everytime I relisten to the album my detest for this man manages to reach heights I never thought possible for a fictional human.

Let me tell you about the dad in Ayreon's Theory of Everything.

Here's the Deal

Progressive metal ahoy, we've got another concept album. The one that kickstarted my descent into the prog rabbit hole, in fact. This album is extremely dear to me. Without this thing I wouldn't be annoying people for hours on end with guitar wanking.

Fortunately you don't need mountains of context, as explaining why I hate this guy so much means detailing the plot as we go. Huzzah!

What you do need is a little background on the band and the structure of this album. Because, dear reader, Ayreon is one of my favourite music projects of all time. I cannot recommend it enough. However, we have to talk about something very important, that being:

CHEESE

It's cheesy.

Very cheesy. Ayreon is the full package of cheesy sci fi proggy goodness and if you're not already tuned to that you're going to be raising an eyebrow or two as you pick through its discography.

But for me, I'd started my metal kick with power metal, so if anything it was less corny than I was expecting.

Calling Ayreon a band would be a bit misleading. It's better described as a musical project, headed by Arjen Lucassen. There's several 'core' members that usually pop up, and Arjen swaps out musicians, vocalists, and instrumentalists based on who would be the best fit for the current album in production.

To demonstrate this point, Ayreon has a dedicated wikipedia page just to list everyone that has participated. There is an entire table for the vocalists. With no other project will you hear Floor Jansen and Hansi Kürsch duet a verse together, and its magnitude cannot be expressed on paper.

What makes Ayreon even more special is that every album is a concept album. They all have a story to tell, and even more excitingly all intertwine into each other to form a greater narrative. I have many thoughts on Ayreonverse, but those must be restrained for another time.

Now let's move from the groundwork of Ayreon, to the groundwork of this album, to lead to why I absolutely despise this one guy to the point of needing to dish my opinions on the internet as therapy.

The Theory of Everything is stylised as ŦĦΣ ŦĦΣΦɌ¥ ΦƑ ΣVΣɌΨŦĦIΠG. Nice. THHS THHSphR円 phFH SVSRPHTHHIPG is my favourite album. For the sake of convenience let's call it TToE from now on.

Contrary to the tracklist, TToE is actually 4 songs around 20 minutes long, each dubbed a 'Phase'. Between them they're then split into 42 tracks, because of course they are. The tracks being split is pretty convenient, beyond tricking people into listening to long as hell prog songs. It gives you points in the storyline to reference quickly.

It's like the bible. If the bible was a sci fi rock opera.

I know I did, literally 5 paragraphs ago, say that every Ayreon album is connected to the other, but TToE is standalone. It's got similar themes, lyrical style, and stunningly good instrumentation, but as of writing does not connect into the main Ayreonverse storyline. You can enjoy the story whilst having no idea what goes on during the other Ayreon albums. Which does make it the perfect introduction to the project! Isn't that convenient?

If you do give this album a shot, I highly recommend having a lyric sheet pulled up in another tab. Not just to keep track of which character's which vocalist, but each song comes with a written prelude that gives you some extra story to chew on. It's a very nice bonus, but,

But.

I can't sit here on context and background much longer. I feel my anger stewing under my fingernails. It burns there, itching to be slammed into the keys to let the rest of the world know of its existence.

Hate.

When I say I'm doing a play-by-play of the plot that's no exaggeration. I'm going to be spoiling the entire thing. If any of this drivel has piqued your interest even slightly, give it a spin and come back when you're done.

Let's talk about why I hate the dad in Ayreon's Theory of Everything.

Phase 1: Singularity

We open at the end.

Our protagonist is collapsed on the floor of a lighthouse, barely alive, with two others here too late to save him. On the wall he's slumped against, a blackboard hangs ajar, filled with mathematical equations scratching the height of human understanding.

The rest of the album is what brings us here.

I should note, in most Ayreon albums the characters don't have names. They're referred to by their key role in the story. The name of our protagonist, absolutely not setting him up for potential disappointment, is the Prodigy.

We jump back 11 years before this point, and are introduced to the dickhead of the hour. The dad. I will not be going into great lengths on the entire plot, only the parts that make me angrier at his existence.

Now, I promise to try not to wax poetic on the music and the immense amount of talent on this album, but the dad is played by Mike Mills,

Mike

FUCKING

Mills,

who goes down as one of the greatest male metal vocalists alive right now. I do not care about your opinion. I do not care who you are desperately asking me to check out. I can't hear you over Mills' luscious melodies about robot sex.

I feel need to mention this specifically, because I'm certain that if the dad had anyone else behind him I would not be able to cope anytime he opens his mouth. I'm filled with rage, sure, but rage contained by a man who can casually hit a B5 live.

So, we learn the deal with the dad. He's tasked himself in chasing the album's namesake, the equation for the theory of everything. Insisting he's so close. All his other projects are shelved away as he spends endless hours pursuing this one formula. Alright, we've got ourselves an obsessive scientist. I'd love to see the multitudes this man contains.

This comes to a screeching halt when his wife, the Mother, cuts in. Not only has his obsession produced next to nothing, but it's driving a wedge between him and the rest of his family. That's his wife and his son, the Prodigy, making a point that he's been flat out ignoring him.

The dad responds to this.

[Father:] I'm sorry you feel neglected But it's clear that you don't understand

We are on the first song with this guy, and he's already dropped a 'sorry you feel that way'.

It only gets better from here lads.

Off to a sour start with his dad, we learn about the Prodigy. It's blatantly clear that he's neurodivergent, given the world overwhelms him to the point he's nonverbal, the obsession with patterns he sees with everything, not clicking socially, and I could probably list the rest of the DSM-5 like a shopping list with what the prelude notes tell us. It's practically impossible for him to connect with others, even through their—and his own—many attempts at trying.

We also need to take careful note of the Mother here. She's attempting, continually, to engage with her son with whatever means she can think of. Not to success, but she's trying, and very obviously is doing so out of a want to connect with her son to, well, connect with her son. Not doing many more favours for the dad here.

One of the Prodigy's teachers (you are correct, his namesake is the Teacher) notices how he's able to complete a maths problem he himself couldn't even solve. Adding more to the ND pile, the kid is staggeringly intelligent.

Also, can we note this part? After being asked if he's the one who actually completed the problem, to double check that it was his own work, his first reaction is this?

[Prodigy:] I'm sorry, sir, I can't explain It's the way I've always been

To immediately apologise? To think that he's being told off?

What's his dad saying between this that we don't see?

We also get the brewing rivalry between the Prodigy and... the Rival.

Look, I know. I didn't name these guys.

He's our antagonist for the evening, and when he isn't spending spare brain power on imagining edgy anime AMVs he likes to bully other kids for being social outcasts. We're also introduced to another character, who's name is,

...

The Girl.

Every time with the fucking names I'm trying to get people invested in this shit and I have to call everyone by all these fucking monikers how do—

The Girl jumps to the Prodigy's defence. She has a pretty obvious crush on him, and calls out the Rival on his small dick energy.

It is, I feel, important to remember that this stage of the album takes place while these guys are still kids. The reason the Rival is talking like a comic book villain is because, well, this is a thirteen year old child:

[Rival:] Oh no, I can't believe You're falling for this loser Oh no, I thought you know That I am so much cooler!

I want to pinch his cheeks.

The teacher, actually being a decent human being, decides to inform the Prodigy's dad about his son's talents. You'd think that this is a nice gesture. Who wouldn't want to know their child is excelling in school?

Now, put yourself in the shoes of the dad here. You're pretty disconnected from your family, whether justified or not, and clearly don't know much about what's going on with your kid. Let alone at school, given you don't know what's happening at home. Your kid's teacher goes out of his way to meet with you, and tells you that he's a mathematical genius.

How would you react? Would you be surprised? Excited? That he manages to succeed so well in an academic setting despite not doing so in social ones? Let's try a line of thinking the dad might be more attuned to, even. Could your son's intelligence help you? Would you be intrigued at the prospect of fostering it?

Would you react by calling your son a piece of shit?

[Father:] You must be mistaken He's useless and he's weak I see no sign of genius The boy can hardly speak

Quite reasonably, the Teacher asks what the fuck is wrong with him. Then the dad says something that hits a particular chord.

[Father:] Who are you to judge me You don't even know what we've been through!

What we've been through? You and your wife? The wife you've left to raise your son almost single-handedly, because you're too preoccupied in pursuing glory?

You can't even make the excuse for him that you could with the Mother. If she, after spending countless hours with the Prodigy, vents to a friend about how distraught she is about not being able to reach him, you'd sympathise. She's not venting out of anger at her son, but despair that she knows there's a way for them to express love for each other, one that she just can't find.

The Teacher lays in harder, demanding that the dad give him a little more of his time than absolutely none of it. He has potential, he promises. The dad begrudgingly agrees.

[Father:] Fine! I'll try to help the child Better not be wasting my time!

That's the thing with this guy. I'm not quoting his lines out of some laziness of not wanting to convert it all to prose, it's out of complete bewilderment, that this is not me flanderizing him in the back of my mind between listens. That thinking about this character has put my mind into overdrive over how he could be even worse.

Every time I read over his lines I pause. No, I did not misremember this. In my head I did not append another jab out of want to justify my anger further. These are the real, genuine lines that come out of this character's mouth.

But don't worry, mate. It's not like your son heard the whole thing,

[Prodigy:] Are you trying to drive me away? Just when I need you most?

or anything.

It's not like, as the prelude notes tell us, that he's the one trying to reach out to you, thinking he's the one who's broken.

The Mother reaches a boiling point. Realising she can't continue on like this without professional help, she demands that they take him to therapy. At last, the father agrees to help his son. Why does he do this? Out of parental love? Out of a want to connect to a son he could barely call his own beyond shared blood? To help him adjust to a society that doesn't know how to place him; to see his son thrive in his own way?

[Father:] It's worth a try, who knows He could help me complete The Theory Of Everything

Well then.

To summarise, in this Phase we have established that the dad:

Puts his work over his family

Ignores his wife's plea to spend some time with her and his son

Refuses to even try connecting to his son, despite his son fighting tooth and nail to connect to him

Thinks his son is a lost cause

Openly admits he thinks his son is a lost cause, in front of his son

Shoots down anyone who dares insist that his son isn't a lost cause

When his wife demands that their son gets professional help, he only agrees because of a chance for him to be 'useful'

Could you believe we're not even at the Phase where my hate ascends into a raging inferno?

Phase 2: Symmetry

We open at the Psychiatrist's office.

The Psychiatrist is another character I despise in this. You'll soon see why.

He's the one tasked with helping the Prodigy, and starts with a diagnosis session. The Mother continually asserts how desperate she is to be able to reach him, and how she just knows he would be worth the effort to get there, possibly to sway the Psychiatrist to use his time on him. On the Prodigy's end, he's convinced himself that he needs to have some kind of role. He's talented, and wants to put it to something. He needs to be useful.

Gee. I wonder who could have shoved that idea in there.

The Psychiatrist tells us what we already know; the kid's ND, and he's smart as hell. Shock and horror. The Prodigy's head is full of 'distractions', and he has an idea in mind of how to help.

Meth!

No, I jest. It's cutting edge meth.

Of course, the dad is onboard immediately. He's jumping at the chance to give his son a pill or two so he can concentrate on work. For his personal growth, you know?

Side note, I feel I have a moral obligation to note Mills' delivery on the line 'Please tell us more, that sounds intriguing'. I won't describe it. I seriously think it's something you need to go in blind and hear for yourself.

Then the Psychiatrist drops the bombshell. The drug he's recommending is experimental, still under trial, with possibly horrific side effects. At this, the Mother shuts down any notion of playing dice with her son's health, even if it could make life easier for them. There's particular wording here,

[Mother:] No matter what we could win I won’t let you endanger my child

under no delusion that this is a selfish want, that the true winners of the Prodigy fitting into society would be everyone else in his life.

We have the first of several arguments. The Mother and the dad go at it, with her calling bullshit on him wanting their son's health on the line for personal gain.

[Father:] No! Why shouldn’t I want to help him You make it sound like it’s a crime

Ah, this is out of a want to help him, is it? So completely selfless, is this want to throw him on experimental treatment without care of the side effects? Despite the fact the very words you said during the diagnosis, in front of your son, again, were:

[Father:] If he could concentrate he could help me He might even be of some use!

Is that your motivation, sir?

Time goes by, and the dad won't let this go. Still making no moves on the theory he still won't put his family's well being over, the idea that his son could be the final puzzle piece enthrals him.

He goes for his Hail Mary. He's going to get the Prodigy on the trial, slip him the drugs without him knowing, and watch him become the smartest man on the planet who will definitely help him, no questions asked. But that's ridiculous. No medical professional would agree to go behind one parent's back and violate a child's consent, right?

Right?

[Psychiatrist:] I know why you’re here You’re a fellow man of science

I think you're a fellow man of Getting Your Medical Licence Revoked.

They strike a deal. The Prodigy is going on the meds, in complete secrecy to the Mother and the Prodigy himself.

[Father:] Keep it between you and me Oh, they would never understand Denying him this chance just isn’t right

Denying him the chance of working on the project that robbed him of a father.

Charming.

The dad slips the drugs into the Prodigy's food, and the effects are almost immediate. We get a solo of the Prodigy realising that—

Hold it, hold it. Hold those thoughts. A voice has suspended my anger for a second. Tommy Karevik. Tommy Karevik my beloved. Why haven't I listened to Seventh Wonder yet? Why the hell haven't I listened to Seventh Wonder yet?

Back to anger.

Our protagonist is suddenly verbal. Just barely able to navigate the world around him. Who would be first to see him? The mother that was his rock the entire time?

[Father:] Oh, am I getting through to you Can you hear me, son?

For fuck's sake.

And the gems don't stop here.

[Father:] I never doubted you I always knew you’d win this fight

Ah! Did you, now?

You never doubted him? Never? You never thought of him as a waste of space to be shoved to the side? You stuck by his side through thick and thin just knowing that there was potential? Not even that there was potential, sticking by him through your love as a parent? That was you?

You believed he couldn't hear, didn't you?

And he can't even keep this lie up for long, because only seconds later he jumps into his agenda.

[Father:] Can you help me, son? I’m so close to the answer But I need your brilliant mind

Was the deceit even needed, at this point? Might as well save yourself the two breaths of oxygen.

The Prodigy doesn't even get a word in edgeways. The dad continues on like his son's agreed to join his little quest of his own volition. Like he's some kind of winner.

[Father:] Our goal is so much closer now Destiny waits

I guess he has to snatch what hollow victories he can considering he's never getting a Nobel Prize.

The Mother, too, is ecstatic. That her son can now show everyone his potential, and that they can connect like she could never do on her own.

She has no idea what's caused it.

Phase 3: Entanglement

We open to the Prodigy's father figure.

Nope, not the dad. We're with the Teacher.

The Prodigy, in the album's words, has 'woken up'. The only thing he truly understands in the world is the laws of mathematics. Even though now he can see the world around him clearly, he wasn't given the eyes of a child to learn about it, and he's no idea how to live. Who would be the first person he would go to for help? His parents, you would think. Instead he's gone to his Teacher.

This does bring up an interesting caveat. The relationship between the Prodigy and the Mother is pretty much left on an unknown. She isn't present in Phase 3 at all, actually, and looking back they never have a full conversation together on the entire album. The prelude notes tell us the Teacher is the only person the Prodigy trusts. It leaves us with a lot of questions we can't reliably answer.

What we can answer though, is the dad being even worse.

By this point, we can assume that he has tried to rope his son into working on his fruitless pursuits. Considering his first choice was the Teacher for advice, he does not see his Father as a father. And even then, the dad's made no moves to help him. Not a single moment is given to connect to his son now he's 'woken up', even now that he sees him as useful.

A couple pointers on how to make friends at school would be worth his groundbreaking theory, you would think. He can't even bother to connect to him through the project he demanded his son's help on. Every opportunity this story presents him with a moment to not be even more of a piece of shit he spits on it, like the spoiled child he thinks his son is.

The Teacher is more than happy to lend his aid, and promises to show him how he can live life beyond the numbers. So, the Prodigy's thriving. Now he has the confidence to stand up to his school bully.

This is where I break to mention the transition between Transformation and Collision. This is one of my favourite track transitions on any album period. I wish I could relive the first moment I heard those guitars bend into that synth.

Then, it doesn't end there, because it launches into my favourite part of all of TToE. I'm breaking even further to talk about Collision. This is a back and forth fight between the Prodigy and the Rival, both in increasingly ridiculous insults over how the other is intellectually inferior. It has the exact cadence of two theatre kids fighting over who gets the leading role in the school play.

And it's perfect.

Anyone who believes this argument couldn't happen in real life does not know enough academics in STEM.

I would also like to remind you they're, what, teenagers at this point? They're probably picking out their college options? And declaring how their 'arch nemesis' is going to meet his demise tomorrow?

This one track is quintessential Ayreon. An astounding combination of lyrical cheese, masterful vocal performances, unintentional comedy, and some of the best musical work you've heard in your entire life. Genuine perfection.

Back to hating the dad, and this is a real good one. If you thought that the highly experimental drug was likely to go wrong, guess what goes wrong?

Well done. You win nothing.

The side effects are confirmed as severe psychosis and delusions. The Psychiatrist says they have to tell the Prodigy what they've done, and promptly dips out of the story to never see the consequences of his actions. The dad speaks to the Prodigy, trying to give a last-minute spin that it was a selfless act. He reacts reasonably and tells him to go to hell.

[Prodigy:] Deceiving your own son to serve yourself You can go to hell

Direct quote. About time.

The Prodigy runs away from home, finding solace with the Girl—more accurately Girlfriend, now—and stays with her. He's distraught by the whole revelation, realising that his sudden clarity of the world wasn't his own, and time marches on with the Prodigy starting to regress without his medication. Keeping a keen eye on him this whole time, the Rival has a solution, in return for some help.

His offer is simple. If the Prodigy cracks a bank algorithm, he'll replicate his drugs and split half the pot of whatever they can grab. The Prodigy despises the idea of committing an outright crime, and the Girl gives him an ultimatum to not do it, but he can't bear to continue on as he is now. For a time, he resists.

Then, he breaks. Surely she'll understand, right?

Well...

Phase 4: Unification

We open to mourning.

The Girl's kicked the Prodigy out, and regrets her decision almost immediately, but can't get in touch with him now. Neither can the Mother, and they both lament over what could have been if they did things differently.

You know who else could have done something differently?

Now the only person left to the Prodigy is the Teacher. He declares, in a very sudden flip, that he's going to complete the theory of everything.

[Prodigy:] I need to show my father I need to show them all

A marvel how the man can not even be in the scene and manage to piss me off.

The Teacher shows him to a lighthouse, a secluded spot to work away on the theory, but gives him a very, very sharp warning to not let it run away with him. The Prodigy insists that he'll be fine.

Well, we've seen how this ends.

The Mother and the dad are at each other's throats again. The dad desperately wants the Prodigy back, and I don't even need to ask you why he does, do I? No, not out of worry of wanting your child home safely, but all because he wants help on his precious little theory.

He lets out his final, feeble, pathetic excuse. The Mother does what she should have done on their wedding day, and leaves him.

[Father:] But you can make him listen All I need is one more chance [Mother:] No! I can't take any more You never gave a damn!

Now mirroring his son, the dad is now alone. He declares to the universe that there's 'One thing left to do'.

So what could that be?

The Prodigy is near the end of his rope. Mentally; physically. He's been working alone on the theory for months, but gets a surprise visit one evening. The Teacher, perhaps? Telling him this has gone on for too long?

In a shocking turn of events, it's his dad.

He's rightfully hostile to him out of the gate. Demanding a reason why he should forgive him after everything he's put him through. Taunting him, that the only reason he's here is a final desperate appeal for his intellect.

And he's completely correct! Even now, even now, grovelling on his knees the dad still tries to enlist his son's help. He can't spend two minutes of his fucking life not wanting to work on that goddamn theory.

My guy, you absolute bellend, your son is knocking on death's door. He's probably subsiding himself by eating rats and sucking on the moisture in the floorboards. Could you perhaps for a second, one fucking second, consider your son's wellbeing? How it's your own damn project that brought him to this state? If you just spent a moment to get to know him, be the Father that he didn't have to find in someone else's, none of this would have happened?

But desperation gets to the Prodigy. Months and months of staring at those chalk marks, only moving things around, never creating the missing link. His rational mind fleeing, thinking how he could take a few more, just a few more pills to push his mind. Not wanting to break his streak of terrible influences, his dad encourages him.

The Prodigy slams the entire bottle down. Twenty-odd years of resentment melt away into a flurry of theorycrafting.

With dawn just breaking, they do it. The formula's broken, as is he, mind, body, and soul. He leaves a hasty note for the Teacher with what strength he has left, detailing the discovery. The final lines are an apology for taking his obsession too far, and a thank you for his support.

You might think, where is the dad during this?

The Teacher and the Girl reach the lighthouse, both harrowed at the state of the Prodigy, near catatonic. Reading the note that tells him, the Teacher mentions how the Prodigy's dad was here, helping him.

Then the Girl gets off the phone with the Mother. It's impossible for the dad to have been here. That 'One thing left to do' was not, in fact, seeing his son in his final moments, but killing himself.

Do I hate this man enough to call him a coward?

I do.

This leaves us with a question, and what the album ends on: how were there two different sets of handwriting on the blackboard?

In an idyllic case, the father was there, quite literally, in spirit. He visited him beyond death, and helped the Prodigy finish the theory as his final act in the waking world. By the morning, he vanished. This is the interpretation I've seen most go along with.

But, I think this is what really made me want to write this. Consider the possibility that he didn't. Either that's not how the afterlife in this universe works, or he simply didn't want to. His son, so irreparably torn from grief of being alone, never having a family like others did, considering himself a failure for never being able to complete his 'destiny'. The only thing he's been convinced by everyone around him that he's worth. Hallucinating, he imagines his father coming back to him, helping him like a parent comforting their child teary-eyed over homework. So starved for paternal love he retraces what he can remember from his father's blackboards, convinced it's his hand making the marks.

This isn't just me wanting to find more reasons to hate the dad, to rob him of any sort of redemption. Consider, if he really did come back to him in the afterlife. Once in the presence of his son again, what does he do? Drives him to finish the theory of everything. He learnt nothing. Even after he's died he chases his pathetic moment of glory over being a Father to his son, and indirectly killed him in the process.

I'd argue that's even worse.

We also shouldn't ignore how the main side effect of the medication is delusions. Who's to say that he hasn't been increasing his dose over time out of impatience at his failures, then having a drug-induced vision of his father telling him to take it to the extreme?

[Teacher:] If you're troubled by the visions If the voices start to whisper

Also consider, why he made the note to the Teacher in the first place. If his dad was there, wouldn't he have told him to tell the Teacher everything? Why did he need to make a physical note? And even if he wanted his final words on paper, wouldn't he have asked his dad to deliver it to him?

I think, he realised he was alone in the end. Mentioning his father in the note was a desperate plea for himself to believe otherwise.

It gives us the perfectly tragic end to the Prodigy's tale. A culmination of every bit of pressure and expectation that's been mounted onto him, crushed under the weight of it while everyone around him only watches. Wondering how this could have been different.

Yes, it might be nice for the dad to have his one moment of good. A little redemption arc. Maybe taking a moment to really think about everything he did to bring his son to this point. Maybe saying, with his whole chest, that he's sorry. Truly sorry. Not the hollow apologies he slings like a plaster to a severed limb. For the neglect. To realise it was he who did this. Forcing his son to the brink and pushing him to limits beyond limits, and accept that he's the one to take the blame. That he could maybe, give his son closure in his final moments. Maybe he wouldn't have encouraged him to overdose.

That might be nice, now I put it to paper.

expected to be as angry as I was starting this rant. I was intending a bombastic finish to Phase 4, how much I despise this man reaching its critical mass to then be vomited onto paper.

Now... Hm.

Let me relisten.

I'm Angry Again

I hate him. I hate him.

I hate hate hate hate this man. Even looking back, through thousands of words, I feel no possible finite amount is able to describe how much I hate him.

And I love to hate him.

Again, I can't sing high enough praises to Arjen for creating this pitiful excuse of a man. This is a mastercraft in making someone overtly, subtextually, in-scene and off, every possible means in a narrative to make someone the most insufferable being possible. I was trying to think of a funny quip about how 'the only thing left is [insert generic horrible act]', but beyond brutal murder of puppies he's hit every single one, explicit or indirectly.

And, I know this man. I know so many people like this man. He's simultaneously a complete cartoon character and yet such a quintessential representation of that one guy everyone who's neurodivergent has to deal with.

And that's the thing. Most of the time, they aren't just 'some guy'. They are your father. Parents. Teachers. Doctors. Figures of authority who only see a misshapen tool with so much potential. If only you'd understand what's good for you, as they clearly know better than you would ever know about yourself. No, no. You just don't get it. You need to do this. You have to.

You are not just a person, to be loved and cherished. You are a disruption to the machine. A cog that had the audacity to not fit in this slot. Only when you fit somewhere special, after your edges are shaved down, after a coat of paint that melts away when no one else is around. To be spun so fast your core turns white hot while the rest of the world looks on in awe, at how anything could possibly move like that. Not seeing the gouges in the metal, the years of hammering that let you twist and contort. To only be mourned after the velocity makes you crumble to dust, and everyone else sees naught but a heroic sacrifice.

Your closure is a thought, a prayer, and if you're lucky, a moment of pause over how this could have happened.

I get to channel that hate, the hate I feel, the hate my friends feel, all of this oppressive hate channelled into one pathetic fictional man.

I hate the dad in Ayreon's Theory of Everything.

#ayreon #music

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nihiltism · 17 days ago

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next camp the necromancy camp yayyy

iris is a necromancy student at (INSERT DARK ACADEMIA MAGIC COLLEGE NAME HERE) that manages to die of (INSERT REASON HERE) and raises herself faster than anybody can even blink, internalizes the shit out of it, and decides to make it her masters thesis. i wrote a poem about her maybe ill share it sometime but the gist of it is that, since she raised herself immediately, she gets to watch rigor mortis set in and watch the rot set in and become truly undead in all that entails. this is a lot of fun and games as you can expect and it drives her a lil bit insane :thumbsupemoji:. theres themes involved there but basically she realizes that even while she Was alive she was never really Living and she finally makes the Decision (possibly her first Own Decision. this is an agency thing.) to let go. also she's kind of foils with allegro and she's dating celine (though thats a whole weird thing that really works out for neither of them and celine has to accept this after iris dies). also she has a nearly familial relationship to morty, as they actually have to open up to her about some of their Lore in order to help Her deal with dying and all that entails. and this is not a thing that happens often with morp.

celine (i kinda want to rename her felicity for the cat pun and the Irony) is a um . DIY necromancer who got into it solely for personal reasons and did it badly. when she was like, 16 or so, she ran away from home because she felt like a burden to her already not well off parents. her brother (i refer to him as The Canary, i don't know his name and its kind of fun for me to not refer to him by one. he's gone, after all.) then proceeded to follow her, refuse to go back to a home that made her feel like she had to leave, and ended up dying in an odd-job he and celine picked up. she managed to internalize This so bad she didn't even grieve and decided to make this a new Problem She Caused To Fix. so she proceeded to pick up bits and pieces of necromancy wherever she could, and pick up bits of. um. corpses . wherever she could. to replace the ones her brother lost, of course, when she finally fixes him. This Doesn't Go Well, she gets nico as a result, and she has to accept that 1. death is permanent 2. there are mistakes that cannot be fixed and 3. there are mistakes that it Hurts more than it helps to fix. also she's surrounded by death so often that she Pities Her (and this Does in fact come up). theres a lot that goes on with celine shes kind of the main character of this camp.

nico is what you get when you try to bring back the dead and dont know what the fuck youre doing. celine Did manage to piece together a good vessel and Did manage to snag A soul to put in it but was too blinded by Hope to realize that she did not know how to specify Which. so now, you have a dead (kid? he thinks he's a kid at least) inside Another dead kid's body with most of its memory there but not really His. like he's looking at from third person. he is understandably quite angry about this, since he has No damn clue what is happening and Who this person is that's calling him a name that Isn't His. theres other fun bonuses involved but basically he has to deal with being seen less as a person and more as a Failure or Thing To Pity at first by celine. they eventually get a sibling like bond of their Own but it's quite rife and full of fun bits (like how celine went behind his back to make a deal with death to funnel some of her life into him so he won't rot, permanently connecting the two and pissing nico the Hell off once he finds out!). also he doesn't start out w a name, he ends up getting attached to a recommendation of celine's as his first real Acceptance of a kindness from her. he also has a weird friendship with morty where he'll often end up just. taking out his teen anger on their garden sometimes. morty has at least gotten him to target the weeds about it.

pestilence (or, tilly for short!) is a work in progress because she is very new and mostly exists as of rn in relation to other characters. for what ive got right now, though, it's a powerful spirit (not god, there's only One of those, but i dont feel like explaining All That) who decided it wanted to have a tangible body again and uses Many scattered bits and bones to make itself one including, notably, iris' skull. she exists as a fun challenge to celine, because she kind of forces her to examine her relationship with iris both in the past and the ghost of her she's clung to. iris is Gone, in fact Being Gone was a decision on her part- one of the few she ever really made. iris would Not Fucking Care if her grave is dug up because she is Gone. thinking otherwise would in fact be digging up her Soul. on top of that, since tilly doesn't really have a Goal here and more just wants to be a person again, it seems actually fitting for her to use iris' skull. since iris was never really allowed to thrive as her own person, isn't what tilly's doing just honoring her memory? also, that relation between tilly and the nonexistent specter of iris sort of strikes a parallel to adagio, as she's inhabiting the corpse of somebody who is realistically better off dead- something that adagio Intended to do but ended up giving them a reason to live and only get Worse. fun !!

GOD I NEED TO THINK ABOUT MY OCS MORE. my friend today said it loves them a lot and i was so so honored i could have died there.

#morty and nico actually have a Very fun relationship bc nico can read them like a god damned book #because his sister suffers from Shoulder To Cry on syndrome. he can Detect Bullshit.#so he ends up being far more mature than he should be and often ends conversations that morty is Trying to bring up to Help Him #with 'aaaand you didnt see a therapist. or do much about it. have you told anybody who wasnt thirteen fucking years old about this'#Really Funny. they were not trying to traumadump they were trying to be Wisened and Helpful but also nico has common sense #also nico brings up the very fun question of 'can you get autism grafted onto you'#because he is autistic and we are Pretty Sure the canary was not.#veespeaks #also iris and celine started by way of a very good pun how did we get here #(necrowmancer and nekomancer and they put the romance in necromancer hehe!)#(but they fucking DONT because they didnt really work very well!!!)#ill talk about adagio and allegro soon i like them #irisposting #celineposting #nicoposting #tillyposting #blorbos from my brain

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