#What do you MEAN she's clocking Luke already LMAO

[greyyson-but-no]

dying to know what happens when reader from "kill the director" encounters rory 😭🫶 love love love your writing

lets dance to joy division

; prep yourself, i'm a 'rory is a villain' truther. it comes off very clearly in this lmao

the following morning, you and jess entered the diner for some sort of sustenance for the rest of the day. he hadn't exactly said what it was that you two were going to do all day, just that he had a couple ideas for what it could. the diner was somewhat busy. there were a couple tables opening up by the window, but the clock on the wall read half 11, which meant everyone that would come to the diner for breakfast had already eaten, and had left.

you and jess found two barstools by the counter for you to slide on as luke noticed your arrival and said some form of greeting. you'd ended up at the dragonfly, michel getting the two of you a room and somehow not recognizing jess at all. earlier this morning, you'd woken up with jess already out of bed and urging you to follow him into town. unsurprisingly, he had just bought you straight back to the diner.

"so you guys got anything planned for today?" luke asks, refilling our mug with more coffee, leaning against the counter as the late breakfast rush slowly petered out.

jess nodded, taking your jacket off for you. "i'm gonna show her everywhere and anywhere of importance."

the elder chucked to himself. "the lake?"

"that one's a surprise." he joked, lifting his index finger up to his lips to shush luke. of course, you had already heard the story of luke pushing jess in the water on one of his first days in town. you very very excited to see the place, get a better visualization of the situation, you know.

you took a sip of your coffee, humming along with their conversation as you tended to do. but when the bell above the door rang, luke's eyes widened and jess spun around to see who it was.

in walked rory gilmore, with heat-iron curls and a coat that looked more expensive than your whole outfit. you didn't even have to know what she looked like to see it was her. just the many stories you'd heard, the incident with miss patty yesterday evening and the way she held herself.

luke stammered. "i didn't know she was back."

jess shook his head. "apparently neither did i."

catching the sight of jess and luke, her eyes widened at the new-author's presence in the diner, face lighting up. swiftly, she made her way over to the counter, smiling. "jess! hey!"

jess naturally stepped closer to you. "rory... how've you been?"

she nodded, practically grinning. "not bad, not bad. i... uh, i moved back, as you can probably assume." when jess hummed, she still continued. "yeah no, mom and i made up, and i should be going back to yale in the fall."

"wow, um." he coughed into his fist. "that's good."

rory nodded, perky look faltering as the conversation teetered into basically nothing. jess didn't feel comfortable enough to continue the conversation and luke had already excused himself out of it to avoid the awkwardness. that left you.

so you slid off the barstool and held your hand out. "hey, you must be rory."

she hesitantly shook your hand. "yeah, and you are...?"

"y/n." you nodded, wrapping a hand around jess' arm as you tilted your head to smile at her. "jess and i are just visiting from philly, it's good to finally meet you, i've heard... a lot."

really, you didn't mean to be cold, or be a bitch. it just... happened.

rory nodded, looking between the two of you to try and connect the dots. it was clear she was struggling. there was something satisfying about her hating this situation so much. after all she did to jess, this was pretty funny. "and you two are... an item?"

"mhm." you hummed. "a year and a half, in fact."

"wow, that's commitment, jess." she laughed, turning to him and practically ignoring her conversation with you. it was becoming so obvious the kind of girl she was.

jess ignored her comment, simply tilting his head and snaking an arm around your waist. "yeah well, it was nice to see you again but we've got places to be so we better head off."

rory nodded. "yeah okay, i'll see you around."

the two of you wandered out the diner, his arm moving to around your shoulder, pressing a kiss against your hair as the door shut behind you. while you kept walking, it was evident you were both waiting to be in the clear before talking about what had just happened.

a couple seconds later, you turned the corner into one of the parks of stars hollow and both burst into laughter. jess found your waist and pulled you close.

"oh my god!" you were shaking your head, a hand over your mouth as you let your head fall against his chest. "that was... interesting."

jess smiled. "to say the least."

pulling your head back up, you caught his eyes. "its been two years and she is still not over you! i hate to say it, but i don't blame her, to be honest."

"mhm." he hummed, finding your hands and intertwining them as he looked over the details dotted around your face.

"and we didn't even get breakfast!"

jess' smile fell, pinching his lips together. "i'm really sorry, i really didn't know she was back here, i didn't know she'd turn up a luke's like that."

you furrowed your eyebrows at him. "why are you apologizing?"

"after last night's conversation i just thought-"

shaking your head, you shut him up. "like you said, you didn't know she would turn up like that. you've got no reason to apologize. so what we didn't get breakfast, so what we didn't get to have a proper chat with luke, we'll see him tonight. it's not the end of the world."

"i suppose." he shrugged, tilting his head.

resting a hand on his cheek, you smiled up at him. "and look on the bright side, i finally got to meet her, and got to be a bitch to her. you don't get to do that every day. especially to a yale idiot."

jess smiled, leaning forward to press his lips against yours in a swift peck that had you humming and smiling. "okay, that part was a fair bit satisfying."

"exactly." you smiled. "okay, now you've gotta show me around this place."

he let you go, taking your hand and dragging you in a very particular direction. "come on then..."

[in-superbloom]

did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? (a.i.)

right where you left me: prologue

pairing: ashton irwin x olivia jones (oc)

warnings: uhh a kinda grieving theme i guess? but no deaths. it has a sad tone overall, but nothing major (in this chapter hehe). foul language because i can't help myself. the tiniest mention of alcohol, but as a memory. think i should probably warn you that this contains a very sad ash. also not much dialogues. this is mainly for explanation and introduction, but very important for the story. if you find anything else that might be triggering, please let me know so i can add it here !!

author's note: oof okay. so. this is the prologue of a series very very dear to my heart that i've been working on for what it feels like my whole life but really it's been just a few months. but i'm in love with the story (which rarely happens with my own writing) so i hope you can enjoy it too !! this is also my very first time posting a fic since 2013 so pls keep that in mind <3 no i am not shaking as type this ofc not also: although i have the full story ready in my head, this is the only chapter that's written. i wanted to wait until i had at least a few ready before posting this but i'm too anxious for that lmao just saying this bc it will take a good while until i have any more chapters, so <3 (p.s.: i went over this thing a million times since may so if you find any errors pls look away, i'm not fixing this thing anymore. thanks <3)

another note: anna from the future here to say that i completely forgot about the playlist i made for the story lmao here it is in case you're interested k thanks bye <3

credits: title is from taylor swift's song right where you left me. model in the picture: paola locatelli. banner by me.

i also wanted to take a minute to thank some really nice friends that i've made here over these past few months & that i'm extremely grateful for @wastelandcth @suchalonelysunflower @littledrummerangie i cannot thank you babes enough for inspiring me the way that you do & for letting me yell about this to you && for encouraging me so much 🥺 i'll never be able to explain just how much this means to me, so i'll have to settle for saying thank you at any change that i can get <3 i love you all 💜 also gem my baby, thank you for the inspo with the banner 💚

@bluesdelis look babe i did it 😌 you know how grateful i am for you & for you letting me have a breakdown every week about my writing for the past 8 years so let's not dive into that or else i will write something bigger than this prologue jsjsjdjd love you 🖤

i hope you all have a good reading and a nice day ♡

let me know what are your thoughts about the fic ! ♡

word count: 4.1k

☆☆☆

Cold. That was the first thing that Olivia’s brain processed.

Still with her eyes closed, she buried herself more into the duvet, while her arm blindly reached for the furnace in human form that she calls boyfriend. However, as soon as her arm was only met with cold sheets, her eyes shot open.

Blinking the sleep away, she sat up on the bed, searching for the infamous red clock resting on Ashton’s bedside table that was supposed to look like a vintage alarm clock. Olivia had ordered it online at an auction website a couple of years back, as a gift for his 23rd birthday, since it was something he had mentioned multiple times prior that he was looking for, but still hadn't found. But when it finally came in (two weeks after the due date), it looked nothing like the picture she saw on the website. Feeling beyond frustrated, she wanted to send it back immediately and ask for a refund and maybe leave a not so polite review on the seller's page. But Ashton stopped her right away, laughing like the situation was absolutely hilarious to him, while saying, 'I like it, it’s quirky'. So, the clock stayed and found a home right next to him in their room.

Some days, however, she would wake up at some ungodly hour because of the blaring noise of the only ringtone the clock had. But whatever annoyance she could feel towards the object, it always vanished as soon as she felt Ashton's lips gently touching her face in a good morning kiss before he would get up to start his day, leaving her to catch some more hours of well deserved sleep.

As the furthest from a morning person as a touring musician could possibly be, Olivia had always feared that living under the same roof as Ashton would turn her into an early bird like him, but she's thankful that it never happened (not that he needs to know about that).

When she sees the red clock, she smiles at the sudden but welcome memories of them flooding her foggy brain, but frowns slightly when she realizes it reads 12:13 pm. Ashton rarely lets her sleep past 10 am.

Gathering all her strength and will, she rises up from the bed, smoothly picking up a grey wool sweatshirt from the chair (way too baggy on her slim body, but it smells like him), pulling it over her head and relishing on the soft material warming up her body. Making her way to the door and calmly going down the stairs, she can’t help but stop for a minute to admire the picture frames on their walls, one in particular catches her attention – probably one of the most prized pictures and memories they had. It felt older than it actually is, but it was around 4 years ago, she's sure – a little while after the two of them met. The picture was of their group of friends that still remains the same: Ashton and his best friend, Luke; Olivia, her best friend, Calum and their old hometown friend, turned into Calum’s new friend at college, turned into everyone’s friend, Michael; and her then newly band members, Suki, Eli and Ravi. Together, their group was the life of the party through all their college years, and it showed by the big smiles and drinks in hands they all had in the picture. It was a very special night, the first time Olivia’s little band played for the public – for a small audience sure, but it was a wonderful night nonetheless. What a long road it had been since that night.

Her nostalgic thoughts were interrupted by a shiver that went through her whole body, and it made her realize how oddly cold the whole house was, not only their bedroom. Which, granted, it was November in New York and the weather was just getting colder, but that’s exactly why Ashton always made sure to keep the house warm enough. As much as she loved the chilly season, the warm weather always reminded him of his hometown, and who was she to deny him that?

The smell of fresh made coffee could be sensed even before she reached the kitchen. Arriving there, the curly haired woman still found no signs of her boyfriend, so she went straight after the coffee maker pot sitting on the far left corner of the cream marble counter. Smiling softly at the tons of memories of Ashton's sleepy figure making their favorite beverage, she reached for a coffee mug on the cupboard on top of the counter and poured the remainder of the hot liquid on it (it's her favorite mug, if she must choose – it was a gift from a fan, and it had printed on it a collage of the pictures of her and Ashton that were posted on social media through their first year of relationship).

Moving to the glass doors that lead to the mini garden they cultivate, she didn't have to open them to spot the 6-feet-tall man sitting on a bench outside, looking oddly small in his oversized clothes, coffee mug tightly held between strong hands. Something about his figure made Olivia frown, however: he was staring with an unwavering look at her small but eye-catching pot of yellow daffodils that were almost as much of a pet to them as Stitch at this point. Sensing that there’s something definitely off about his semblance, she made a mental note to talk to him and find out what’s wrong later. So she goes back to the kitchen, knowing that he might need this quiet and private moment for himself.

She lost count of the minutes that went by (couldn't have been more than five) before she hears the garden's door opening and closing, and then his bare feet are dragging his brawny body to her. Except, he goes over to the sink, walking right through her, not showing any sign that he even saw her hunched figure over the counter table in the middle of the room.

Alright, someone's in a mood.

Olivia tries to swallow the annoyance already bubbling inside her – he knows how much she hates to be ignored, no matter how mad he might be – by trying to think of what she can say that won't piss him off. This is always a hard feat to accomplish when Ashton gets in these moods, but there’s a reason for them to work so well together.

“I missed my favorite body heater when I woke up,” she says in her best sweet voice, knowing how quickly his resolve crumbles when he hears that voice.

Still, no reaction.

That settles a worry at the pit of her stomach, because Ashton is never like this. Even when he's not in the mood to talk, he always gives some kind of reaction to her words; it doesn't matter how small, just enough to make her feel acknowledged.

When he's finished washing his mug and the few scattered dishes across the sink – she noticed that he already had lunch, if the lone plate in the drying rack is anything to go by –, he dries his hand in a towel, turns around and throws it on top of the same counter Olivia was leaning up against. Once again, he walks away not even sparing her a look.

Indignant, she leaves the now empty coffee mug on top of the table and follows him as he walks up the stairs, any determination to not aggravate his mood now well gone.

“Hey! In case you didn't notice, I'm right here. Whatever got you in this sour mood, I'm certainly not to blame, so can you stop being a child now and talk to me?!”

Ashton just keeps walking – more like sluggishly dragging his body – until he reaches their bedroom and suddenly stops just merely two feet inside the room, looking around with vacant eyes; like he was expecting to see something that wasn't there.

“Okay, that's really mature of you. Are you planning on ignoring me all day then?” Olivia questions exasperated, staring angrily at the back of his neck, where the condor tattoo lives – her favorite of his, but that sight doesn't bring her any peace today like it usually does.

Her glare only breaks when she hears the familiar sound of dog tags swaying on her right side. Shifting her gaze to the direction of the sound, Olivia notices Stitch, their small, black & white French bulldog – who she thought was outside in the garden – slowly trudging his way from around the bed until he stops at Ashton's feet, looking up at one of his humans with sad eyes. That realization only makes the worry in her stomach grow uncomfortably.

“Hi buddy,” Ashton's voice cracks a bit from the lack of use, but he smiles softly at the sweet dog, and crouches down to pet him.

Olivia can't help but gasp as she notices three things all at once that leave her overwhelmed: first, how she didn't even notice Stitch was in the room when she woke up – which never ever happens, in fact, most days he wakes her up whenever he deems her bedtime as finished and can't ever contain his excitement when she finally gets up; second, how the windows blinds are closed, which, again, rarely occurs under their roof, not if Ashton can help it. And third, how sad and melancholic the whole scene in front of her is – how sad and melancholic Ashton is. Pointless to say by now – that's also a very rare occasion.

A chill creeps up Olivia's spine, putting her body into high alert and also serving as a reminder of how everything looks out of place today. Trying to keep her head from spiraling down way too soon, she wraps her arms around herself and crouches down beside her two favorite boys, trying once more.

“Ash? Can you hear me?” even with her throat closing, she softly asks, purposefully putting her face in Ashton's point of view. Her only answer is the low whispers he's letting out to Stitch, while cradling the tiny dog in his arms, spreading gentle kisses on his head.

“I know, bud, I know. I miss her too,” is the only whisper she could understand and immediately wishes she hadn't. The weak wail that comes from Stitch's throat seems to fit perfectly with how the three of them feel.

Ashton then looks up and for a couple of seconds, and Olivia can swear he’s staring right into her eyes. But when he shows no reaction, she knows he’s just staring ahead and not at her, with that look that says there’s too much going on inside his head. She feels the urge to embrace him and get him to talk about whatever is on his mind, so they can share that weight like they always do, but when Ashton gets up from the ground and settles on the bed with Stitch, Olivia can physically feel the crack in her heart caused by the feeling she’s left with.

While Ashton is pulling the duvet over him and the dog, with clearly no intentions of getting up anytime soon, Olivia stands up on her feet with a new-found determination – she needs to figure out what the hell is going on.

This nightmare had to be just that, right? Nothing but a very vivid dream – she's had those before. Scary sure, but they always go away, and soon enough she's back into Ashton's arms, with Stitch jumping on the bed ready to lick their faces off. She just needs to wake herself up from whatever fucked up dream this is – right?

She's running down the stairs this time, frantically in search of something, of what exactly, she doesn’t know – but she knows she needs an answer. The more she looks for something, the more desperate she gets, not knowing what to look for. Then suddenly, something catches her eyes.

The white and blue calendar that's held up by magnets on the side of the fridge. She knows their calendar is red and yellow. They got it from their favorite flower market. Slowly, as if scared of what it might be there – “It's just a calendar, for fucks sake” – she approaches the damn thing. Upon inspection, she deems it as a normal calendar – she really doesn't know what she was expecting – until.

She knows what's wrong with it now.

It's November. She knows it, because the Asian and last leg of her first world tour is about to begin November 21st, eleven days from today. Right after Mike's birthday, she knows this.

Then why does the calendar say today is January 14th?

☆ ☆ ☆

Ashton woke up with a jolt. He quickly sat up, frightening the little Frenchie that was asleep right next to him on the bed. Trying to make sense of his surroundings, he roughly rubbed his face to get some sleep off of it and soon reached for the dog that was staring at him with sleepy but sad eyes. Ashton is sure Stitch understands far more than a dog is supposed to understand about their current situation.

The room is covered in shadows, almost pitch black, but he can see the sunlight even through the thick dark grey blinds covering up the windows. Ashton knows he won't be able to sleep again at that moment, so he gets up from the bed – much slower than he used to. His heartbeat is still out of control because of the nightmare that woke him up, but he can't bother to pay attention to it when Stitch is softly wailing beside him. Ashton lets out a ghost of a smile when the dog rests his head on his right upper thigh, looking up at him with an expression Ashton knows all too well.

“C'mon you little ravenous creature, let's feed you,” the bulldog excitedly jumps to the ground, already running his way down the stairs, not even waiting for Ashton to get up.

That gets a real smile out of him, but it vanishes as soon as he glances at the alarm clock on his bedside table. It reads 5:13 am, nothing out of the ordinary for him. But that small and inoffensive clock, with its red paint peeling off, holds a lot of memories for him. Memories that two months ago would bring joy to his heart, but now he almost wants to throw the object across the room.

It was a stupid thing, really. He had been wanting a vintage alarm clock and Olivia got one for his birthday. But the product they received was definitely not the one she bought, and if he's being honest, he didn't like it as much as he made out to. But seeing her so excited in the weeks before it arrived, and how disappointed she was when it did, he couldn't help but try his best to make her smile that luminous smile again. It's part of his nature by now.

That's also the reason why he lets her think that he doesn't notice when she wakes up at some ungodly hour (her words, not his) along with him, because of the annoying and only sound the alarm clock is able to produce. He always leaves soft kisses in every inch of bare skin he can find on her sleeping figure, so she goes back to the dream land and doesn't wake up before 10 am. No one wants to deal with that kind of bad humor, not even him.

As much as he likes being a morning person and absolutely enjoys her company in the mornings, he knows she'll take any and every extra hour of sleep she can get before starting the day. And that's why he loves that she's so stubborn that his early bird tendencies never got to her – he knows she feared that this would happen when they moved in together, but he met her like this, fell for her like this. He wouldn't change a single thing about her.

Ashton drags himself out of the bed, wincing slightly at how cold the wooden floors are under his bare feet. He doesn't bother putting some socks on, or a sweater – the cold weather in the house is uncharacteristically comforting to him. Nothing feels warm without her anyway.

While descending the stairs, he mentally curses himself for not being strong enough to look past the picture frames on the wall. One in particular catches his eyes – a picture from the night of Olivia's first concert with her band. The memories of that night are still painfully vivid in his mind: the laughter among their group that eventually infected everyone at the pub, Suki and Luke's first kiss and the silly smile that didn't leave his best friend's face all night, the standing ovation Olivia got after her three-songs set, and her captivating and breathtaking smile that made him realize right then and there, while watching her sway to the music, that he was definitely falling in love with her and there was nothing he could do to stop it – not that he wanted to.

So many memories held up on that wall, in the relatively short time since they met, that he can't help but wonder if that's all they'll get in this lifetime.

Ashton is abruptly taken out of his thoughts by Stitch's barks coming from the bottom of the stairs. He quickly jogs down the few steps left and goes straight after the dog's food in the kitchen's cabinet. After Stitch starts to happily devour his breakfast, Ashton goes to make his coffee, doing enough for two people like he always does, since Calum drops by most days for a chat or to drop Duke before going to work. Although all three of them know he just can't bother to make food for himself in the morning, while Ashton is the group's elected chef. Ashton always says he just needs a boyfriend – Olivia says Calum already has one who makes him breakfast every day.

He grabs an apple from the fridge and makes his way outside to their garden. Even though a lot of their memories took place there, the garden is the only space in the house where he doesn't feel like suffocating all the time. At least here, he can breathe some fresh air and look at the sky when he's feeling overwhelmed – which is basically all he's been doing for about a month now.

Yet, a lot of the garden has Olivia's name written all over.

He remembers vividly the day she came home after spending two weeks in LA doing some pocket shows, with a pack of daffodil seeds and the largest smile. She excitedly told him that a friend gifted it to her when she mentioned the little garden they were planning to build together at their new house. The friend told Olivia that daffodils symbolize rebirth and new beginnings, so as the good lover of symbolism that she is, Olivia loved the idea of having those flowers to symbolize their new beginning.

Ashton, on the other hand, wasn't a fan of the flowers at first – he just didn't see the appeal to them. But nonetheless, he indulged her, letting Olivia plant the seeds near the bench they used to sit during the quiet and unrushed afternoons, so they could admire the sunset, and she could happily look at the daffodils.

Pointless to say – the damn flowers grew on him.

Now, however, looking at them without Olivia and her contagious joy next to him, they were back to be as dull as they were before, if not more so.

Still lost inside his head without any sense of how much time went by since he sat down, Ashton doesn't hear the front door closing, and doesn't notice that he's no longer the only person inside the house until someone sits next to him on the bench. Yet, he doesn't show any sign of acknowledgement to them.

A few minutes go by before either of them speaks up.

“Luke said you didn't go to see her yesterday,” Calum starts softly, not wanting to disturb the calmness of the morning.

Ashton takes a few seconds to respond, “No point in doing that.” The black haired man licks his lips while thinking carefully about his next words.

“You know staying inside this house all day by yourself won't help either,” Calum turns his head to his left and takes a good look at Ashton's uncharacteristically hunched over figure, and immediately thinks that anyone can tell this man is not himself anymore. His second thought is that Olivia would hate seeing him like this.

“And what exactly do you expect me to do? Move on with my life like nothing happened? Like I'm not slowly and painfully losing the love of my life? Just because it’s easy for you doesn't mean it's easy for me.”

Calum closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He knows Ashton doesn't mean it, it's the anger and frustration talking. He knows it. Doesn't make it sting any less.

“I'm not telling you to move on with your life, because that's far from what I'm doing, and I certainly don't expect you to do it. I'm just saying you need to occupy your mind or else–”

“I'll go insane? Think it's a bit too late for that,” Ashton interrupts with a bitter tone that doesn't belong to his usual chirpy voice.

“You know it's not,” Calum sighs and drinks the rest of his coffee, moving his body slightly, so he's facing the blonde man, “I got a job interview for you at that school you talked about so much last summer, the principal said you can go any day this week. I went ahead and sent her your resume as well as explained everything that she needs to know about Olivia, so you don't have to. You just gotta put on some decent clothes and show up.” he sees Ashton's face softening a little and takes it as a victory. A few beats go by and then, “Maybe take a shower too. That's gonna make you feel better.” Calum leans in closer to his friend's personal space and takes a sniff, causing Ashton to deflect from him slightly, but not to push him away – another small win.

“Definitely take a shower, you stink. When was the last time your hair saw shampoo?”

“Fuck off,” is Ashton's only reply to the younger man's inquest. But Calum can see a smile creeping up on the blonde's face, which brings out a smile of his own.

“I'll send you all the details later today,” he checks the hour on the watch on his wrist and gets up, “Just please, Ash, go. I can't lose you too.”

Calum gently lays a hand on Ashton's shoulder and squeezes a little. The man doesn't look up, but gives a curt nod to his friend, who's satisfied enough. Calum stops on the threshold of the garden glass doors to give some kisses to Stitch – who came to make Ashton company as soon as he finished his food –, and then he puts the coffee mug on the dishwater. And soon enough, he's on his way out of the door. But not before snatching a tangerine from the fridge.

Ashton is left by himself once again. As he hears the sound of the front door closing, he thinks that this might be his life from now on. Just him and Stitch, trying their hardest to make it through another miserable day without the love of their lives. While everyone else comes by just to make sure he's still breathing. Breathing, maybe, but alive?

Swallowing the tears, he looks up at the sky. It's a deep, beautiful mix of orange, pink and blue, but he knows that it won't last long and soon the rain will be pouring down. He thinks about how much Olivia loves the rain.

God, he needs to pull himself together. She would hate to see him like this. Maybe he should take Calum's offer after all, he really needs to occupy his mind.

Making a mental note to thank Calum later, and also to apologize for how rude he was to him this morning, Ashton slowly gets up from the bench to put his mug on the sink and makes his way to the living room, with the small dog loyally following his every step. He puts on some cartoon that for once doesn't remind him of her (she always lovingly made fun of him for still watching those) and cuddles with Stitch on the couch. He can take a shower later.

Not half an hour goes by, he falls asleep and has a good dream for a change. He dreams of the days he spent with Olivia in the Philippines last February, right before her first world tour started. Some of the most magical days of their lives – surrounded by delicious food, a whole new culture to learn about and the warmth of the sun. Infinite counted days full of love and passion, where they were the only people in the world.

Even his subconscious knows to hold on to that brief moment of happiness, because he might never live that again.

[sunshinejins]

sweet red wine

what began as a funny story i told @caffeine-catastrophe turned into this little fic! also posted on ao3 under the username “joylight” if any of you would like to check it out there :)

pairing: julie molina x luke patterson

fandom: julie and the phantoms

rating: teen, i do mention drinking but all the characters are of age :)

warnings: alcohol, this literally takes place in a liquor store lmao

When Luke told his parents that he got a job directly out of high school, they had been proud of him for about three seconds until he mentioned that it was at a liquor store. His new employment had sparked an hour long conversation of “don’t you want to be working somewhere a little nicer?” and “is this just a stepping stone for that band of yours?” and “get a better job or we will physically force you into one.” Luke had retaliated with all the spite in his body and had promptly moved out the second Alex and Reggie had managed to secure a lease on an apartment. He might have regretted it, had the job at the liquor store not been the best gig he’d ever lined up.

The hours were great, mostly daytime shifts when no one was there, leaving his nights wide open to pilot Sunset Curve to greatness. The manager, a woman in her late-twenties named Lessa, had even managed to secure jobs for both Alex and Reggie within three days of Luke working there. They got discounts on everything, even though Luke mostly used his to fuel his Diet Coke addiction, and for the most part they got to interact with some pretty interesting people.

So yeah, Luke already liked his job a lot, and his parents had even timidly offered apologies after he had come to a monthly dinner bragging that he had been promoted to daytime supervisor. And then, he met her.

Luke’s in the middle of a pretty decent Among Us run on a random Wednesday in February when the bell over the door to Liquor By Us jingles. He lifts his head briefly, just to check that it’s not some fifteen year old punk trying to smuggle out a crate of Twisted Teas, and his jaw drops all the way to the floor. The girl who’s just unzipped her jacket and sent him a warm look may possibly be the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. She’s got a halo of dark curls which he’d kill to run his fingers through, a smile which would put Reggie’s “flirting” grin to shame, and eyes that he swears are filled with glitter and stars.

Or something. He needs time to work on his metaphors.

“Hey! Welcome!” He calls and she responds with an enthusiastic wave.

“Hi!”

“Anything I can help you with?” He shoves his phone to the side, watching only slightly mournfully as he gets killed by Dark Green. The girl steps slightly closer and he clocks the Thornton t-shirt she’s wearing and now he’s pretty sure his heart has beat out of his chest. She likes music. She likes music!!

“What’s your sweetest and cheapest red wine?” Luke pauses for a second and thinks. He knows he’s probably supposed to steer her towards the 30$ bottles of wine and lie and say they’re the best for the cheapest, but there’s something about this girl that makes him want to be truthful. And maybe run a comb through his hair. And maybe compose a guitar solo?

“Sweetest and cheapest? Huh, let’s see,” he crosses over the counter to the wall of red wine they have and the girl trails behind him. He doesn’t know much about red wine if he’s being honest, Alex is their resident wine fanatic and he focuses more on the spirits and mixers, but he’s determined to not mess this up. “Port is the sweetest wine you can get, but I’m not sure how cheap it is. We have a couple of inexpensive sweet red blends by Barefoot too,” he gestures to a rack of 8$ wines near the bottom. The girl tugs her lip between her teeth and Luke literally has to place one of his hands on an empty shelf to support himself.

“What’s a port?”

“Uhhhhhhhh,” Luke’s about to BS his way the hell out of this, when Alex rounds the corner with a handful of flyers and saves his life.

“Port is a Portuguese dessert wine that is generally served after supper. Why are you looking for port?” The girl turns to him and Luke violently gestures behind her in an attempt to alert Alex to his intense developing crush on the girl in front of him. If Alex notices, he doesn’t show it.

“I’m making sangria cupcakes for my best friend’s 21st tomorrow, and the recipe calls for red wine, so I assumed a sweet red wine would work best in baking?” Luke can vaguely hear Reggie calling for him from the walk in, and he wants so desperately to ignore him until Alex cuts him a very obvious look and Luke sadly stalks away.

Reggie is trying to load an entire armful of White Claws onto a shelf and Luke quickly snags a few before they fall. Reggie looks up and clocks what Luke can only assume is a mournful look on his face.

“Who died?”

“The cutest girl in all of existence who also goes to Thornton who also has a smile like an angel is currently searching for sweet red wine out there with Alex, and I’m regretting ignoring the training pamphlet about the wines of the world.” Reggie’s eyes widen.

“Did you get her name?”

“No!” Luke tosses his hands up in the air in exasperation, “But I know she’s making cupcakes for her friend!” Reggie tucks a few more White Claws onto the shelf and shrugs.

“Just ask her why she needs the wine. And beat Alex to checking her out.” Luke’s pretty sure his legs react to Reggie’s advice before his mind does, because he ends up back at the till without really realizing it and somehow the girl is there already holding three bottles of wine.

“I can help you!” His voice sounds high and tinny in his own ears and Luke cringes a bit even though the girl is still smiling at him. His brain may be mush. She passes him the three bottles of wine and he clocks two bottle of strawberry wine and one cheaper merlot.

“You went for merlot, huh?”

“Yeah, the other guy suggested it.”

“Well if Alex suggested it, it’s probably right,” Luke nods, mostly to himself. The girl nods along with him, and he tries to focus on doing his job instead of flirting for once today. He manages to scan all the bottles of wine, look at her ID (her name is Julie!) and pack her bottles with no issue, but then suddenly the two of them are standing across the counter from each other with the wine bottles between them and neither of them were moving.

What did Reggie say to ask again?

“So, can you explain to me how the wine is gonna go in cupcakes?”

Right, that. Good job, brain!

Julie smiles brightly, as if she was waiting for an excuse to talk about it, and leans against the counter.

“Apparently I need to make a red wine syrup and add it to the buttercream to make red wine buttercream! And then the cupcakes are full of fruit. So, sangria cupcake.” Luke definitely hears everything she says, but his mind is so full of the sight of the little gap between Julie’s front teeth and the swirls of hair falling to her dark skin, that his brain kind of shuts down.

“That sounds killer, I wish I could try some of those!”

He did not mean to say that.

Julie looks a bit shocked for a second, but she recovers and leans against the counter again.

“Well, we’ll probably have leftovers. It’s a pretty big recipe. I can do a cupcake delivery.”

Wait. What?

“Oh, so like, should I give you my number or something? Like, just to make sure that the cupcakes don’t go to waste?”

Very chill, Lucas.

“Yeah that works!” Julie’s smile probably mirrors his in brightness and intensity, and she hands him her phone without hesitation, “My name’s Julie, by the way.”

HOW DID THAT WORK.

“I’m Luke,” he answers excitedly as he types in his number to her phone, “Nice to meet ya!”

“Nice to meet you too,” Julie looks even cuter now that she knows his name and Luke can barely contain the bouncing in his step as he hands her the phone back. She finally snags the bag of wine and Luke distantly remembers saying goodbye, but he’s too revved up on the feeling of getting her number. Alex and Reggie materialize into his field of vision.

“You’re right, she was super cute, bro,” Reggie claps his hands in excitement. Alex is giving him a very dry, yet still loving look.

“She couldn’t stop looking at your biceps.”

“Who can?” Luke punches the air and finally feels the wriggling excitement crawl through his body. His phone buzzes and he’s quick to scoop it up, ignoring the chuckles of his friends.

from: unknown number

hey, it’s julie! when are you free for a cupcake delivery in the next week? maybe we can get coffee first?

Yeah. Luke loves his job.

—-

the sangria cupcakes themselves, made for my real life best friend’s real 21st birthday :)

[happybeeps-nat]

header by @ao3commentoftheday​

Alternate chapter 2 for You Look So Alive words: 3,401 (yep, I never ended up using them. I’m the worst) context: picks up right after Finn and Poe separated in chapter 1, Pe goes home with Bee-Bee A/N: this is for @imtheoutgoingsidekick-baby​, completely unedited, I didn’t even read through it again before posting so I’m sorry lmao please bear in mind that there’s a reason I abandoned this

“Pa, we’re back,” Poe called as he pulled off his shoes and put his keys in the little bowl like the responsible adult he almost was. He followed Bee to free her from the harness and lead and stashed them in their rightful place.

“I’m in the kitchen,” his dad called back, followed by the distinctive clatter of him obviously trying to sort through their mess of pans.

Poe looked at the clock above the door. It was only 5:17. Wasn’t it a bit early for dinner? He decided to go see what his dad was up to.

And really, there he was, several pots and pans on the stove, apparently trying to figure out what pan to use for whatever he had planned next.

“Hey,” he greeted. “Are we expecting guests?”

His dad nodded while stirring something that smelled like his dad’s famous chili, then moved to chop veggies before checking the oven. “Yeah, turns out we are. Leia and Han are coming over for dinner.” He sounded tense, even pissed, and Poe was massively confused. Leia, Han and his dad were like Snap, Jess and he. Best friends and always up to spending time together even though their schedules didn’t align as often as they’d like.

“Is that not a good thing,” asked Poe, frowning.

“Oh, it is. Let me just--“ he stirred the pot some more before grabbing a fresh spoon and checking if he was satisfied with the taste. Then he took another spoon and put it in the pot right next to it and offered it to Poe. “Try this, this is the one for you and whoever else is veggie or vegan.”

Poe did. It was delicious. As always when Kes Dameron cooked, which was almost every day under Poe’s watchful eyes so he could learn some tricks. “Mmmh,” he nodded. “Very good. And it’s vegan, yeah?” Poe was a bit confused there, he wasn’t vegan and neither were Han or Leia.

“Yeah, don’t know everyone’s dietary preferences, so I though better safe than sorry.”

“Everyones? Paps, what’s going on? Who’s coming for dinner?”

Kes looked at the clock, turned down the heat on the two pots and oven to pull out a bunch of self-made tortillas. They always put them in the oven twice but not too long or they’s get too dry. Really, his dad cooking was more of a science than anything else and Poe usually liked to watch him be very concentrated. Now, though, he wanted answers.

Kes closed the oven and finally turned to look at his son, wiping the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand. He looked Poe up and down and frowned slightly. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Poe dismissed. “So, what’s happening? What was it with the phone call earlier? Why are you preparing dinner for, like, ten people?”

“Leia called me earlier,” his dad began to explain, turning back around to check if everything was okay, if the heat was off and if it was safe to leave the kitchen. Then he gestured for Poe to follow him into the living room where Bee-Bee was excited to see them but didn’t move from her place on the couch, pretty sure that Poe would come to her. And he did. He was easy like that.

“So, Leia called,” Poe reminded his dad, hoping he would keep going.

He nodded. “She told me Luke was back.”

“Luke?” Poe frowned. “Wait, you mean… uncle Luke? Leia’s brother? He’s still alive?” He felt incredibly stupid to be asking that, because obviously he was still alive, man. It’s just that for years nobody had seen him or heard of him. “It must be, like, what? Ten years?”

“Eleven,” his dad sighed and ran a hand down his face. “He didn’t call, didn’t leave a text or a note. Just disappeared on us and comes back eleven years later, apparently with the brightest smile on his face and two kids in tow.”

“Excuse me?” Surely, that was a joke.

“Yeah. Apparently, he decided to adopt. Because apparently, he can do that now.”

Poe didn’t know what to say but also didn’t feel the right to judge Luke. He had last seen him when he was seven, right after… well. Right after his mother died. He took a deep breath and really, really didn’t want to judge Luke.

“So he has two little kids now, lives here again, and they’re all gonna come here for dinner to have an awkward and possibly bitter family reunion?” he clarified.

“Yup, seems like it. Leia wanted neutral ground. She doesn’t know me if she thinks I’m neutral ground for Luke fucking Skywalker.” The bitterness in his voice, the barely suppressed anger kind of broke Poe’s heart a bit because he knew where it was coming from.

“Paps, hey. Maybe he can explain.” Poe moved to sit beside his old man, rubbing a hand up and down his back. “Let’s just see what happens, okay? Maybe it won’t be too bad. And if it does get bad, this is your house, feel free to kick him out whenever you want to.”

At that, his dad grinned. “You’re right, I’ll just be a real Dameron and kick his ass if I smell funny business.”

“That’s the spirit,” Poe laughed.

After a while, his dad added, “They’re not little kids, though.”

“They’re not?”

Kes shook his head. “From what Leia told me, they’re your age.” He shrugged. “But I guess we’ll see anyway, he’s bringing them along.”

Yeah, that made sense… Poe didn’t really know how to feel about everything he’d just learned. But he tried to be open to anything, maybe Luke was this really cool and outgoing and charming guy and the adults would forget all about being mad at him. And maybe his kids were cool, too, and they’d all be having a good time.

Speaking of a good time! “Hey, is it still cool if Jess and Snap are coming?”

Kes grinned and got up. “Sure, I’ll make some more churros then.”

Poe laughed and stood as well, stretching his back with a groan. He found his dad looking at him, his head tilted, squinting a little.

“Poe. You sure you’re okay? You look beat.” Hah. The irony.

“I’m fine, paps, really. Just tired. And I really wanna go out and cuddle with Bee in the garden for a while. Call me when you need help in the kitchen or wherever?”

“Will do. Call me when you wanna talk about it?”

Poe huffed a laugh but nodded. “Will do. Thanks, paps.”

And as much as he wanted to go lie in the grass with his dog and not be a person for a few minutes, what he needed right now was a hug. So he went in for one, wrapped his arms lightly around his old man and felt him hug back tightly, making Poe tighten his arms, too. Dameron men were always down for hugs and Poe loved it, especially now. His dad was just a few inches taller than him but it always made him feel like he was just a little boy being held safely in his dad’s arms. Nothing could get to him here, nothing could hurt him here, not even Ben Solo. It was weird, it was probably stupid to be feeling that way about his father’s hugs at 18, but he didn’t particularly care about that. Society telling him it was stupid would probably only be one more reason for him to hug his dad, so there was that.

After a while, they let go of each other and Kes gave him a sort of bittersweet “I am your father and I love you but I am worried about you, son”-smile before returning to the kitchen.

“C’mon, Bee, let’s go outside and lie in the sun for a while,” Poe said to his already very excited dog. She yapped and seemed very happy at the prospect of just lying in the sun and getting all the scratches and belly rubs from Poe.

And so they lay there in the warm, soft grass. Poe on his back with his eyes closed, Bee-Bee next to him, her head on his chest, enjoying his gentle strokes and scratches. Lots of people didn’t think dogs could purr but Bee-Bee was ready to prove them wrong as she was practically vibrating, and Poe just loved her a lot, okay.

He was feeling calmer by the minute, breathing slowly and evenly, his eyes closed against the world and feeling safe again. Sometimes he was pretty sure his dad was watching them through the glass door leading to the garden but he was too comfortable to move and see if the was right, trusting his dad would call for him if he needed help.

After a while – it could have been an hour or five minutes, Poe didn’t know and he was pretty sure he nodded off once or twice – he did call, asking if he could prepare the table outside because there was more room in their garden than anywhere else in the house. A delicious smell tickled his nose which definitely made getting up easier. As he stood, so did his loyal, wonderful dog, looking up expectantly, and he smiled.

“Stay, Bee, I’m gonna be right back.” Before he went inside, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her head and scratched behind her ear again. “Good girl,” he cooed when she returned to lying in the grass, her watchful eyes never leaving him.

Poe went to wipe down the table and chairs before getting the cushions to make them more comfortable for their guests. “Paps, how many people are we gonna be?”

“When are Jess and Temmin coming again?”

“Not until after dinner, you know them,” he called back from where he was fastening the cushions.

“Then it’s Leia, Han, Luke and his kids, you and me. That makes seven.”

“So Ben is not coming?” Poe asked just to be sure.

“Is he ever?” his dad grumbled, and Poe could not answer from the sheer relief he felt. Ben was not coming. He was probably out bullying another kid who wasn’t white, rich and hetero. Idiot Nazi piece of shit.

“Poe?” his dad called again.

“Huh?”

“I asked if you could help me set the table, the plates are already on the counter.”

“Yeah, sorry, that one chair gave me trouble,” he tried to deflect from his actual thoughts.

Thankfully his dad did not press and either chose to ignore him or really had more pressing matters to attend to in the kitchen.

Before long, Poe had set the table, prepared the other chairs so they would be clean, warm and comfortable, and helped his dad chop the rest of the vegetables into small bits for the burritos they were going to have for dinner.

6:30 came sooner than either of them had expected and just as the clock went from 29 to 30 the doorbell rang. Wow, someone sure loved being exactly on time.

“I’ll get it, can you put the tortillas in the oven again, por favor?” Kes said, wiping his hands on a towel and greeting their guests. Poe hoped his dad opening the door and dealing with the first inevitable awkwardness would lighten up the whole situation a little. So stayed back happily, preparing the tortillas and checking if the salsa and kidney-bean mix in the pots was warm enough, careful not to let it get too hot.

He could hear his dad and their guests, obviously, their house was not exactly spacious. Leia and Han were there and had apparently brought a bottle of wine that was way too expensive, so his dad made a fuss that Leia chose to ignore. And then there were other voices, strange voices that struck him as familiar in a very weird way. Must be Luke then. It made sense for his voice to be strange yet familiar, it had been eleven years after all.

They hadn’t really moved into the house yet but stayed in the hallway, probably still by the door, and Poe if Poe weren’t surrounded by delicious food, he’d think he could smell the awkwardness in the air. It was very unlike Kes Dameron to let any kind of awkwardness last more than two seconds, and this situation was a testament to how much Like Skywalker seemed to unnerve him. And Han and Leia, too, since nobody spoke for a while.

Well, couldn’t have that! “Dinner’s almost ready! Paps, get our guests something to drink and go outside, I’ve got this!”

That seemed to do the trick. There was a bustle as Kes led everyone outside and asked for their drink orders. After all, he took a Dameron Dinner very seriously, even though it was a very common occurrence. His dad was a picture-perfect people person. And Poe apparently into alliterations. Huh.

Poe took the tortillas out of the oven and covered the plate so they would stay warm, and filled the contents from the pots into bowls. He balanced the two plates of tortillas on one arm and grabbed one bowl of salsa-mix to bring them outside while his dad carried a tray with drinks after him.

He greeted their guests with a charming smile but concentrated on not being an idiot and dropping anything. “Good evening, everyone. I’m Poe, I’m your server tonight,” he joked as he set down the dishes. “Let me just get the rest and I’ll be all yours,” he added before he disappeared again.

He grabbed the last bowls and something to drink for himself before heading out again to properly greet everyone.

This time, he nearly did drop something. Because there, sitting next to who must have been Luke his daughter – a very beautiful girl – sat the boy. His boy. The boy who saved him!

“Poe?” his dad asked, a concerned frown on his face and Poe realised he had stopped in his tracks. In the door. And he was staring. At the boy. The beautiful boy who was looking at his plate and didn’t look like he wanted to be around a bunch of strangers in a stranger’s house.

“Yeah, sorry, hi everyone!” he grinned and set down the last bowl. Then he moved to Leia, greeting her first with a quick hug that could have been awkward for anyone who was not Poe Dameron, Master Of Hugs.

“Hello, Poe, so nice to see you again,” she smiled up at him from where she was sitting in her chair.

“You say that now,” he winked. “Just wait until tomorrow, you’ll wish you wouldn’t be seeing me all that often, General.”

She swatted at him and rolled her eyes. “Just keep out of my office a little more than last year, Dameron, I swear to God!”

Poe laughed. “No promises, ma’am.” Then he moved on to Han who gave him an eyeroll and a handshake, which was their usual greeting. Sometimes Poe thought Han didn’t really like him, but they had their moments. He’d figured a while ago that Han was just a grumpy and cynical person in general.

Then he reached Luke who actually got up again to greet him. Or he thought he did. But Luke was just staring at him. “You’ve really grown up, hm?” was all he said, awe in his eyes, realisation, and maybe something a little sadder.

Before Poe could say something, he heard his dad clear his throat and mutter something but he didn’t quite catch it. He ignored him and smiled at Luke, willing to give the man a chance.

“Well, you’d think that, but in here,” he tapped his temple, “I’m still that little boy that gets himself in trouble. So if I were you, I wouldn’t get my hopes up.”

Luke grinned, then laughed which sounded a lot like relief and pulled Poe into a hug that he reciprocated gladly. He didn’t seem so bad – he laughed at Poe’s jokes after all.

“I’m Rey,” the girl sitting beside Luke said and raised her hand, clearly expecting him to shake it. So he did.

“Poe. Nice to meet you, Rey. I love your hair,” he remarked and while he usually tried to make strangers more comfortable by complimenting them, he really absolutely did love her hair. Three buns of exactly the same size, it seemed.

She grinned and blushed a little, taking her hand back more slowly than she had reached out. “Thank you, Poe,” she said and she really sounded flattered and happier, less tense than just a second before.

And then he moved on. To the boy who was not just in Poe’s garden right after meeting him in a less than flattering situation! Nope, Poe must be dreaming or something. He fell asleep earlier and this was a dream, because the boy was now looking up at him, an eyebrow raised, and a little smile on his face.

“And you are?” Poe asked with an air of what he hoped was nonchalance, smiling politely at the beautiful boy and his big dark eyes.

“Finn,” he answered, very amused or intrigued or shocked or maybe all of the above.

“Poe, hi.”

“Hi, Poe. Nice to meet you,” he grinned and Poe actually felt heat rise in his cheeks. This was not happening! He couldn’t decide if he wanted to be happy or embarrassed or curious or all of the above. And he was staring at the boy, a grin plastered on his face, and Finn was staring at him, too, a very similar grin dancing on his lips. And this was not happening!

“Well,” his dad cleared his throat again and Poe realised everyone was staring at them, curious looks of confusion and even amusement on their faces – or in Leia’s case, a smug smile Poe couldn’t get behind. “Let’s get some food, shall we?”

And so the Dameron Dinner in capital letters, because everything was home-made and his dad a magician in the kitchen, began. “This looks very delicious, Kes,” Leia praised as she grabbed a tortilla and helped herself. There were nods of agreement from all around the table.

“Thank you for this, Mr Dameron,” Finn said and Poe’s heart raced because his voice was so smooth and the smile he gave his dad was so genuine and sweet.

“Stop it with the formalities, I’m Kes to you! And no problem, kid, I hope you’ll like what Poe and I made.”

“Oh, you helped?” Finn asked, curious. And Poe knew exactly where he was coming from.  When did you manage to help with that between getting the shit scared out of you and getting punched in the gut. Twice.

“Nah,” Poe shook his head as he swallowed a bite of his burrito. “He just likes to share the praise. I literally just set the table, al the magic happening here is his fault.”

“You did help, though,” his dad insisted and Poe rolled his eyes but smiled. And Finn smiled, too, carefully taking a bite of his burrito and managing to keep the thing from falling apart.

Luke and Rey looked a bit overwhelmed and unsure of their technique, so Poe felt obligated to show them how to eat a burrito and not make a mess of themselves. He was met with grateful smiles and just so nobody would feel too bad, he loosened his grip a little, causing a bit of salad and cheese and salsa to fall on his plate. One of the two only plates who had until then been very clean.

Naturally, his eyes moved to Finn. Not because he was, like, drawn to him or something, nope. Only because they were sitting opposite each other and really had no choice but to meet each other’s eyes again and again. Because Finn was looking at him, too. And he was smiling a soft smile like he knew exactly what Poe had done just now. That soft smile of his, it was making Poe feel bold above all else. Still meeting Finn’s eyes, he winked at the boy, who looked away immediately, trying to suppress that sweet smile of his from happening, and Poe was sure he saw a flush a little. Although he could not be entirely sure with that wonderful dark skin of his. Anyway, a boy could dream.

[bethish-backup]

Days Gone Bye- Ducks and Flowers

Okay, so as I do a rewatch of The Walking Dead, I’m going to do a breakdown of each episode and explain what I think some of these things mean. **MOST OF THIS IS JUST FOR FUN, OR JUST SOME THINGS KIRKMAN MAY HAVE DRAWN FROM FOR BETHS ARC.** Some theories may be longer or shorter depending on the extent of the symbolism within the episode, and some of these theories may have been explored by other members of TD already. This is just my two cents. Also, this is my first time writing theories, ever, so they may or may not make much sense. So, let’s dive in.

1. First, I’d just like to point out that this car reminds me very much of the Grady car. I’m not even sure if TPTB plan arcs this far back, but… it doesn’t hurt to add this in. Possible foreshadowing? And the window is busted out. I’m not sure if this means anything or not, but I’m going to compare it to things other people have said (re: broken glass theory) and see if I come up with anything.

2. I know this isn’t the best picture of Beth’s GSW, but I couldn’t help but notice that the first walker we see on the show is a young blonde with an X carved into the right side of her forehead. While Beth’s GSW is on the left side of her forehead, the X still reminded me very much of her. How would the walker have gotten such a strange wound in the first place? X marks the spot (sort of lmao). The wounds being on opposite sides of the forehead could point to the fact that the little girl walker died, while Beth lived.

3. I wrote down most of the police codes heard over the radio while Rick and Shane were on their way to the shootout, but only a few of them ended up bearing any meaning; 217 and 243. In the subtitles, these codes are listed with dashes in them, so my first few searches brought up no answers. Once I removed the dashes, however, they showed some interesting results. Police code 217 stands for assault with intent to kill, and code 243 stands for assault on a police officer. Remind you of anything? Beth stabbed Dawn, a police officer, with the intent to kill her.

4. I felt like I was grasping at straws here, but a search on the symbolism of pink and purple flowers did not disappoint. The purple flowers are more Rick traits; dignity, accomplishment, and admiration. But the pink flowers? Youth, innocence, joy, grace, geniality, and happiness. All Beth traits, and present in a hospital no less.

5. “The life you save may be your own.” This is less of a Beth thing and more of a C@rol thing, but it could be applied to Beth as well. I say it’s a C@rol thing because I feel like her decision to take a break from everyone and get away from having to kill saved her life, essentially. She was spiraling and the knowledge of what she’d done was killing her. The break allowed her to take a step back and evaluate things, and now she can fight alongside her family without being destroyed by it. It could also be a Beth thing if it’s revealed that she survived all this time on her own, therefore saving herself. 

6. Ducks represent luck and wisdom, and fireplaces represent the heart of a home. Beth can represent the heart of TF, as she was always the nurturer of them all and she was the least ashamed to admit how she felt about things. Luck is something Beth will need on her journey to reunite with TF, and wisdom is something she will return with.

7. I can’t find the clock I’m talking about, but at some point in the episode, a clock behind Rick reads 6:45. I looked this up and came up with a bunch of bible verses, but this one stood out the most. Luke 6:45- “A good man brings good things out of the good stored in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.” This reminds me of Rick’s conflicts with just about everyone who has opposed him. Wherever Rick goes, he liberates people and restores their humanity, because he is a good man and he wants to fix things. The Governor, the Termites, and Negan/ The Saviors all strive to do the opposite. They spread pain wherever they go and are the natural enemies of Rick.

8. Lastly, let’s take a look at Shane’s 22 necklace. It seems a bit strange to me, him wearing such a random number around his neck, so I took it as a clue. Issue 22 of the comics wasn’t very relevant to Shane in any way that I could tell, so I checked episode 22, which led me to season 3 episode 3, Walk With Me. This was the episode where The Governor was first introduced. I believe this is pointing toward similarities between Shane and The Governor. Both were normal men before the ZA, but after losing people important to them, they become increasingly violent. Both end up killed because of this.

These were all of the symbols that I noticed, although it’s possible I missed a few. Let me know what you guys think. Do any of these make sense? Message me or let me know in the notes if you find anything that I overlooked!

[blueeyed-butterfly]

For you. (Pt. 2)

I didn’t. It was awkward but at the same time I was happy to have you in my class for the first time since 9th grade. I’m pretty sure I ended up moving a couple weeks later or so. I remember after i moved we got In contact again and caught up. Can’t remember if we started dating or not that time. If we did. It wasn’t long. I ended up moving out of state. You ended up dating someone from here. We did our own thing for months. I remember around Christmas I ended up moving back home, and I remember we started talking again. You ended up breaking up with your girlfriend. We started dating once again lol. Remember that time when we were planning on moving to Florida together? Lmao we didn’t have a clue on what we were doing. We were still so young. 18-19 years old. Eventually that idea died. Along with or relationship once again. I ended up moving back out of state for over a year. You did your thing. I came back home destroyed over the relationship I was just in. A few months later or so you borrowed your moms car to come get me so we could hang out and catch up. It was like we never were apart. We always picked up where we left off. It was never awkward. You were always my best friend even if we weren’t dating. I remember listening to music, and recording you singing “animals” my Maroon 5. Life was finally feeling good for me for the first time in forever. I think that night we went to the Falls and it started pouring rain and we were under that bridge for a while. Just talking and joking around. We started dating again. But you were different, you were very sad. I wanted to be there for you. I remember sitting in your garage in kenmore with your mom and the things you said scared me. You wanted to die. I honestly was afraid to lose you. I was really afraid if something was going to happen. I’m not sure if we broke up again but I think we did, but I remember eventually meeting your grandparents and they loved me from the first second they met me, and I loved them! They were always so nice and welcoming and I felt like part of the family when I was around. You and I had so many memories there. Swimming In the pool, yelling at you for getting my hair wet, jumping in the trampoline. Laying on the trampoline looking at the stars. Laying there watching movies, til we both fell asleep cuddled up on the couch. I remember one night you were so sad you actually cried in front of me. I never seen that side of you. I just wanted to comfort you. I’m not sure how long after, but I remember sitting on my porch one day and for some reason you were with your ex gf at Tim hortons and she had your phone and sent me a long text as you saying you were breaking up with me. I was so confused and so hurt. Didn’t see it coming. But later that day you and I met up and talked and shit worked out. Although I still had some fears and confusion going on. A few days later or so i believe I was drinking a couple of my dads beers and told you to come pick me up so we could hang out and we went to the falls. We went up on the observation deck and we watched the fireworks. Something came over me, maybe it had something to do with the beer, giving me some courage to say to you that I wanted to finally have sex. You were shocked lol I was shocked. We left, and I snuck you into my house. We laid there for a while. I was nervous as fuck because it was my first time. You made me feel comfortable though. You were nervous yourself even shaking. We just laughed and let it happen. I was SO happy that you’re the one I lost it to. You were my person. No matter what. It was a special moment for me for sure. We laid there afterwards cuddling and I couldn’t believe what just happened. Remember around that time we were trying to get pregnant? Lol we tried a few times.So young and naive we were. Remember the 4th of July party at your Nonnas place. That day was very fun, I remember dancing with your sister, drunk as hell not giving a fuck lol you’d never seen me dance sober. Your sister was also very drunk. I remember it got dark and we were all on the trampoline I literally couldnt even jump let alone walk on the trampoline without falling over, and then the cops showed up and we started freaking out. We ran inside, into the bathroom and your sister hid her beer can in the bathroom cabinet lmao. Afterwards you went to bring me home, and I threw up in the front yard. Ill never forget that night. Remember when we went to the Florida Georgia line concert literally last minute? We had to drive all the way out past where the concert was to buy tickets, when the concert had already started. We got there in the middle if not cose to the end of it, but we still made the best out of it. It was the first time I was ever sober at a concert lol. About a month later we went to the luke bryan concert with Kelsey and met up with some people. We pregamed and then went into the concert where we just kept drinking, making memories having a good time.Then the one girl we were with, her boyfriend started talking to other girls and that made drunk me mad as hell so I guess i started hitting you saying you better not ever do that shit to me lol. Im still sorry for that by the way. That was still one of the best concerts I’ve been too. On the way back I had to pee so bad I was crying so I made you pull over so i could pee. Then on the way home I wanted cheeseburgers (Like i always do when I drink) so we stopped at Mcdonalds with Kelsey and drunk me said how I wanted to go in your basement (meaning have sex) lmao. Well that didnt end up happening that night, but I did end up staying the night. 

We once again ended up breaking up like a month later. I started dating someone new eventually, and you got back with your ex and moved out of town with her. We did our own thing for months. Months pass, October-August. It was the end of August when we got back in contact, you moved back home because you guys broke up. I was single. we went down to the harbor and talked and played on the playground in the pitch darkness of the night. We were just friends at that point, but I was happy to just be hanging out with you. Well a couple weeks later, I was at work, standing there just clocked out, when I opened facebook and saw that you announced you were having a baby girl with your ex. I was so shocked, if you saw my face it probably turned white. I couldnt believe it. I texted you asking how long you knew about this because you mentioned she was due in November, and it was already into September at this point. I just didnt understand, my heart was crushed. I thought i’d lose you forever. Things were about to change big time and I didnt know what to do. You were my everything and I was sure it was the end. You ended up getting back together with her. We stopped talking til a few months later, the baby was born and somehow we started talking, you were still with her but you told me you thought she was cheating on you. So me being the detective I am, sure enough found that she had that dating profile, and was claiming she was a single mother, when you guys were still together, and living together. I was so mad, for you. How the hell is someone going to do something like that? Well things ended with you guys, and we ended up back together. No matter what we always found our way back to eachother. Yes we did break up alot. But it was always for stupid reasons. I remember meeting your baby for the first time, and holding her and it did kind of make me sad, thinking “Wow, this could have been our baby” it really did suck knowing that it couldnt happen for us, but did for you and her. Thats all I ever wanted, was to start a family with you. 

We ended up breaking up, for another few months and dated other people. We got back together in June, which didnt last long. Omg its so crazy to think about all the times we broke up and what not. I can see why people talked alot of shit, but we didn’t care because we loved eachother.  Time went by almost a whole year, I moved out of my house in April and by May we were talking again and got back together. This was the last time we were together. We swore that was gonna be our time. That this was it, we were going to stay together and never break up again. We were having really good time, I met some of your new friends, and your cousin. We hung out with them a few times, we went to Canal Fest, We went to Kenmore Days, we did your little Niagara Falls dates, went to the outer harbor like old days, things just felt so right. I was so happy, and still in love with you. I remember the one night after drinking and your friends place, we went back to my place, and even though I had it in my mind, I was too nervous to bring it up, that I wanted to have sex, until you asked. It was like our first time all over again, I felt so nervous. But it was just as special as the first time. Laying there after, cuddled up, even though it was hot as fuck in my room, was one of my favorite feelings. It just felt so right. That weekend we went to the beach, the same one we went to with your family in the summer of 9th grade. I loved going there with you. That place will always hold that special memory. I took so many pictures and videos of you, and us. I still have them all. Weeks past, I decided to move out of my roommates house and move back home. You helped me move all my stuff back home, and later that night we went out to eat with your cousin. Life was going good, I was happy.. Until on the way home, I seen your ex’s name pop up on your car radio. My heart sunk, but I played it off like I didnt see it. We got to my house, I gave you the last kiss that we ever had. I got in my house and broke down. Why? We were so happy and finally in a great place with eachother. I thought to myself this is just a really bad dream. But it wasn’t. You said it was nothing, but I couldn’t belive it. I didn’t see a reason for you to still be talking to her. So we broke up. A couple months go by, and  I didnt get my period, and I thought I was pregnant. I kept getting faint lines on tests, even though by that point, they would’ve been coming up dark. But I read all this stuff online. That is could happen to some people where they have faint lines their whole pregnancy, or they never get a positive test when they are in fact pregnant. So I believed I was, I kept taking more and more tests, I was even starting to look pregnant. I told you I was, and I was scared. I couldnt talk to you. I didnt want to go to the dr because I went there years prior telling her I thought i was pregnant and I wasnt, so i didnt wanna look crazy again. So i kept it to myself, my stomach kept getting bigger, no period, had all the symptoms. I still have pictures, and Im sure I still have tests hidden somewhere. I didnt know what to do our expect. I was like “Am I really gonna have a baby in March?” Well March comes, and surely enough I wasnt pregnant. I went through a phantom/hysterical pregnancy. I was in a really dark place after that. What I went through was not easy. Its a real thing. A month or two past and I heard from my coworker who also works a 2nd job at your moms work, that she knew your mom and your mom asked about me and if i really had a baby. So I texted your mom later that day and explained everything. I messaged you the next day to talk. I explained everything, and you were understanding, I think. It was almost a year at that point that I seen you, and I really wanted to meet up and talk about it in person. But you were dating someone at this time. You told me that we could be friends, and talk to eachother, which I was happy about. But there were times I told you I love you and how I missed you, and even though you were dating someone, and I knew that.. something felt off. I knew something was up. Because in the past if we were talking, and you were dating someone else you would come back to me. As bad as that sounds. I said to myself why do I feel like this girl is gonna end up pregnant in the next couple months... Well funny enough, the next night im at work and I open twitter, and I seen you announced that you guys were having a baby. My heart dropped more than it did the first time. I was having a full blown anxiety attack while trying to work. It was a mix of emotions from what I had just went thru, to wondering why and how did you let that happen. It all made sense though to why you were acting off. I left you alone. But I was still hurt and upset over the news. People from our highschool made tweets and shit and me being hurt, decided to make a post myself. You weren’t too happy about that. I do apoligize for writing it. But you have to see it from my point of view. I want to be happy for you, but I cant. Because we were never supposed to be over. You are the love of my life. My highschool sweetheart. I wanted to marry you. I still do. And it sucks to know that it will most likely never happen. I’ve been single for a year and like 2 months now since we broke up. I haven’t had any interest in talking to someone knew. A couple months ago, I did try to talk to people, because I have no one to talk to in general, I tried to find connecitons with people, but I literally can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop holding on to hope. There is no one else I want but you. And it breaks my heart. I still cry for you. I still think about you, everyday. This post is obviously very very long. And if you took the time to read all of it, thank you. Even though I know nothing is going to come out of this I had to let it all out. The other night literally every single memory I had with you came rushing back, and I had to write it all out. We have had soooo many good times, and bad. But the good outweighs the bad. I truly think we were meant to be together. Maybe some day we will cross paths again. I’ve been writing for hours, and my eyes hurt, my vision is blurry. I just want to say I love you Anthony Jaskowiak, and I always will.