#What a simple pinterest image doesn't do for me

[suprrstaar]

I was going to draw something completely different from this I am so sad

[adalindofcabinsix]

that kind of love never dies | chapter two

summary: the one where jake realizes the complexity of a supposedly simple plan.

pairing: jake x mc

word count: 1.4K

warnings: tkolnd takes place after the events of episode 10; cover images found on pinterest; english is not my first language.

author’s note: i love this chapter. it was so much fun to write jake's first meeting with mc. the game left many unresolved questions and i will try to answer them based on the information we already have and a little imagination.

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Without any hesitation, he nodded. There was no point in lying now, not after everything they had done to get Hannah back. And, even if it bothered him a little, Barbara had won his trust.

“A penny for your thoughts.” The hacker asked, seeing the confusion in her eyes.

“What are you doing here?”

“It's a long story.”

“I have time.” She crossed her arms over her chest, waiting.

Jake took a deep breath to calm himself. They definitely didn't have time. However, he knew he would need to do his best to make her trust him again.

“Long story short, an old alert from Nym-0s showed results yesterday saying that you bought a plane ticket to Switzerland. Since the airport was close to Duskwood, I thought I'd better investigate.”

“Have you been following me since New York?”

“Not exactly, I bought a nonstop flight from Tokyo to Zurich.”

“Why didn't you tell me who you were when we bumped into each other at the airport?”

He hated the fact that his tone was more hurt than angry. Jake opened his mouth to apologize, then closed it. Looking over her shoulder, he noticed the presence of a hooded figure standing in front of the open door of the chinese restaurant, hunching his shoulders against the pouring rain.

Barbara's cell phone immediately started ringing with a call. Frowning, she reached for the device inside her bag, and Jake didn't need to understand portuguese to know what was written on the screen.

“Unknown number?”

“Yes.” She lifted her head, meeting Jake's eyes.

“Great.” He said ironically, taking the cell phone from her hand and sliding his finger to the left to reject the call. “Come on, I'll explain everything to you on the road.”

“All right.” Barbara answered, allowing Jake to lead the way. “But if you're lying about who you are, I'll break your nose.”

“It's fair.”

The hacker kept walking , and she ran to keep up with him, dodging a puddle of water. Two minutes later, they stopped in front of a gray Mercedes-Benz crowned with a red convertible roof parked behind the Gates Hotel.

“Please tell me it’s not stolen.”

“It's not stolen!” Jake looked at her offended, opening the passenger door.

“Sorry! It's just that in my mind you were poor. Which, when you think about it, doesn't make sense, right? How would you do everything you do without money?”

“You are impossible, Barbara.” He shook his head in disbelief.

“I can't be impossible, Jake, I exist.” She replied, rolling her eyes theatrically. “I think you meant that I'm unbelievable.”

“Get in the car straight away.” He ordered, but he was smiling, his eyes filled with something like pleasure.

“I have some questions.” Barbara announced when they stopped at a red light.

“Of course you have.” Jake smiled amusedly, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.

“Earlier, at the airport, was our meeting on purpose?”

“Yes. I couldn't risk my position by tracking you via cell phone so I had to be creative.”

“Something tells me you're the type to put trackers in people's favorite coat pockets.” She was surprised when he didn't deny it. “Seriously?” Barbara scoffed, rubbing her hands down her arms.

“That worked, didn't it?” He said, undoing his seat belt. “Here, you must be cold.”

Before Barbara could object, Jake took off the leather jacket he was wearing and handed it towards her.

“Thank you, Jake.” She accepted the offer, her cheeks blushing beautifully as she quickly looked away from the defined muscles that were marked by the white t-shirt.

“You're welcome.” He looked straight ahead again, covering his mouth with the back of his left hand to hide a smile of pure satisfaction.

He looked straight ahead again, covering his mouth with the back of his left hand to hide a smile of pure satisfaction.

“Were you in Tokyo this whole time?” Barbara questioned, placing the jacket over her shoulders.

“Tokyo, New Delhi, Manila... I needed to keep myself busy so I didn't think about you too much.”

“I'm unforgettable, aren't I?”

“Too unforgettable for your own good.” He agreed, replacing his belt and accelerating the car to get them moving again.

She sighed loudly.

“Yeah, I guess that explains why the FBI won't leave me alone.”

“What?”

“You have no idea why I'm here, do you?”

“Considering who I saw at the chinese restaurant, I think I might have an idea.”

“They sent some messages yesterday, inviting me to that same restaurant we talked about last time. The writing was very similar to yours, but it wasn't the same.”

“You knew it wasn't me and you came anyway?”

“We had an agreement, and as a future lawyer, I couldn't let them get away with this so easily.”

“What was your plan?” He waited for an answer, but Barbara just shrugged. “What? Didn't you have one?”

“We brazilians work better under pressure.”

Jake had to stop himself from giving her an irritated look.

“Well, at least this time the FBI is innocent.”

“What do you mean?”

“Old habits never die, right? I figured something was wrong when you didn't go directly to Duskwood, so I accessed the security cameras around the hotel and watched the footage from the past two days.”

“Did you find anything?”

“Nothing too out of the ordinary, but there was one guy who caught my attention. I think I've seen him before. Anyway, I've run his face through facial recognition software and will have confirmation by the end of the night.” He met her eyes, his expression becoming serious. “Barbara, do you understand how…”

“Stupid to come here alone without knowing what I would face? Yes, the reality is starting to knock. In my defense, I would never imagine that someone from the outside could have access to our conversations.”

“Breaking into the FBI database is complicated, but not impossible. This guy was supposed to be looking for information about me and ended up finding you along the way. I'm sorry for bringing you into this.”

She made a nonchalant gesture, dismissing his apologies.

“You're only here because I was impulsive and played my role as a decoy very well, so I think we can say we're even.”

“I will always be in your debt.” Jake declared softly, weaving through traffic with ease.

The rest of the trip flew by, and the next thing he knew, he was parking near the Aurora's curb.

“What are we doing here?” Barbara looked at him uneasily, her voice sounding louder.

“I need to drop you off somewhere safe before I go back to get my gear from the hotel I'm staying at.”

“A bar is the last place I would think of, I have to admit.”

Jake snorted.

“As much as you approve, we only came here to get Jessica's address.”

“I thought you gathered information on all of us when Hannah was kidnapped.”

“I did, but Jessica moved out a few months after Richy got arrested. And since the FBI is monitoring activity around your friends' digital data, I'm forced to do this the hard way.”

“You mean... Talking?”

“Talking to Phil.”

She stifled a laugh.

“You can wait in the car if you want.”

“I'm not leaving you alone with this guy.” He rolled his eyes, stepping out into the drizzle that was decreasing with each second.

“In that case, why not go to Lilly or Dan?” Barbara commented, carefully slamming the car door. “I'm sure it would be less unpleasant for you.”

“I don't want others to know I'm in town.” Jake said, stopping beside her under the bar's canopy. “Not yet.”

“You're avoiding your sisters, aren't you?”

“It is complicated.”

“I know it's none of my business, but they'd be happy to hear from you. Especially Lilly.”

“Since when have you been Lilly's defender?”

“Believe me, I'm as surprised as you are.” Barbara laughed, brushing an invisible speck of dust off her dress. “How do I look?”

Jake analyzed her from head to toe for a few moments, seeing the way Barbara's hair fell over her arm in messy locks, how her smudged mascara highlighted the beauty of her light brown eyes, and how her dress, almost completely dry, outlined each centimeter of her body.

“Beautiful.”

“I'm serious, Jake!”

“Me too.” He smiled adoringly, intertwining his fingers with hers. “Come on, I don't want to prolong this any longer than necessary.”

taglist: @daniiiworlds; @labemquarts; @deinily

[smoooothoperator]

What Was I Made For?

17: Happier Than Ever

childhood enemies, forced proximity, accidental pregnancy, enemies to lovers (👀)

Warnings: Charles pov, fluff, Athena

a/n: HIIIIII!!!!! So we have the gender reveal!!! Before reading, please write a comment saying what do you think it will be!!

if you want to play a game and ask things about Dafne

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Every way of feedback is very welcomed

My heart was light, soaring with excitement like never before. 

I missed Dafne over the week. I missed waking up next to her. I missed kissing her, holding her, feeling the kicks of our baby.

During the training camp in the Dolomites, I couldn’t forget the image of Dafne’s sad eyes as I left. Her absence was like a persistent ache that followed me everywhere.

“Promise me you will call every night” she whispered softly, with her head nestled against my chest and her arm wrapped around me. “That you will be safe”

“You don't have to worry, Dafne” I whispered back, kissing her head. “I will be safe, won't do stupid things and make sure to come back”

“You promise?” she mumbled, looking up at me.

“I promise, my love” I smiled, kissing her forehead. “I'll always come back”

The last day of my stay in the Dolomites, she called, and for the first time she opened her heart for me, talking about what she concerns and what is troubling her. And in that moment I wished she was with me, that she told me everything in person, because watching her cry through the screen of my phone broke my heart.

That's the reason why I wanted to have a special day with her, to have a date with her. Discovering the gender of our baby, alone, was something we needed.

I saw people taking pictures of me while I drove around Monaco, some of them stopped when they saw me get out of Dafne's car, walking towards me to take pictures or asking me to sign things. And all of them had amazing and cheerful words for me and Dafne.

“What made you this happy?” she teased, looking at me through the mirror.

“Some fans stopped me to take pictures and they cheered for me and Dafne. I even recorded them saying those words to show Dafne the video” I smiled. “Oh, that today we are going to find out the gender of the baby”

“What? But aren't you two supposed to make a gender reveal with the family and friends?” she gasped. “You little liar!”

“I know, we will!” I laughed, feeling how my mom pinched my cheek. “But… Lately Dafne has been feeling down. It's hard for her this new life and I wanted to do something meaningful for her”

“And you think finding the gender will make her feel better?” she sighed. “Charles… Things are not as simple as that”

“I know it, mom” I sighed. “But… She has trust issues. With me. She doesn't trust me how I wanted, yet. And even if I'm making everything easier for her, taking care of her… I feel that I have to do more, try harder. She's… I don't know how to explain it because I don't want to sound dramatic, but I think the pregnancy and everything that comes with it might give her depression”

My mom stopped using the scissors and placed them on the small table next to her. She placed her hands on my shoulders and sighed, looking at me through the mirror, again.

“It is true that what will come next will be hard” she nodded. “You have to be there, next to her, all the time. You have to show her that you really care, that you want the kid”

“I want the kid, mom” I whisper. “I wanted it since the moment I knew about it”

“You will have to make sacrifices, Charles” she sighed. “You will have to take decisions that will make you have to choose between the good of the team or your family”

A lump formed in my throat as I nodded, the weight of her words sinking into my chest. I took a deep breath, trying to steady the whirlwind of thoughts spinning in my head.

Job or family. A championship or my child. Wins or the woman I love. Sacrifices.

“Will you tell me the gender?” she asked, changing the subject.

“Oh, no” I laughed. “You are not supposed to know that we will discover it today”

“Mhm, sure” she laughed.

I took a deep breath and smiled weakly.

Sacrifices.

The season is yet to start and I have to choose how I will act. I want to give my everything, win for Dafne. I want to make her proud. But… I want to be in every milestone of our kid. I want to be on every appointment she has, I want to be in those classes of birth preparation, I want to be there when our kid comes to the world. 

I want to be a family man. But I want to win, too.

“I'm sure you'll find the perfect balance” my mom smiled, kissing the back of my head after she finished cutting my hair.

“Yeah… I hope so” I sighed, smiling weakly.

I got up and hugged my mom tightly, kissing her cheeks before heading out of her hair salon. I have to stop by my apartment and get changed and leave her car in the garage, next to the identical car I own butin black. 

When I walked in my apartment and went to my bedroom I smiled, taking a deep breath when I noticed that somehow her perfume was still there, even if it already happened some weeks since she came. 

I took a deep breath, opening my wardrobe and finding a pink shirt. Pink, because I really want to have a little Dafne.

I looked around and took a deep breath, going to the cupboard and opening the drawers. Inside one of them, there was a blue box, with the gift I had bought for her birthday but never had the chance of giving it to her. 

I opened the box, smiling weakly at it.

I have to fix things. Is the last thing I can do.

Three months have passed since that night, since the day I knew I ruined things with her.

But I needed to stop the war. I was determined to raise the white flag and ask for a truce, telling her that I give up in this fight we have been keeping up since forever.

Today, 6th of December, is Dafne's birthday.

I saw the people around the hospitality getting the upstairs floor ready for her, decorating the tables and putting her favorite snacks on plates. Her family arrived with a cake for her, but no one saw her yet.

“Where is Dafne?” I asked her older sister Erica.

“Oh, she'll come soon” she sighed. “She had to go to the airport to pick up Sebastian”

“Who?” I frowned, feeling a knot on my chest.

“Sebastian” she repeated. “The man she's going out with”

“Oh” I sighed, swallowing thickly. “She's… Dating him?”

“I'm sure they will, soon” she nodded. “Why?”

“Oh, nothing” I swallowed thickly.

I started to doubt if she ever wanted to talk to me ever again, feeling how she already passed a page on our story, if we ever had one.

When she walked into the hospitality and went upstairs, everyone started to cheer for her. But the only thing I could see was how that man, the so-called Sebastian, looked at her the same way I look at her whenever she's not looking, and how he hugs her and kisses her head. But what buried deeper the knife on my chest was watching how she smiled at him and how he smiled at her.

And somehow, the box inside of my backpack was useless in that moment. Somehow, the words on my mind were empty, worthless. 

I took a deep breath and sighed, shaking my head trying to erase that memory. That's the past.

I grabbed the box and put it on my backpack, getting ready to leave to go to the airport.

Things are going to be okay. Dafne and I are going to be okay.

The three-hour flight dragged like an eternity. My leg bounced restlessly, and all I could think about was landing. I pictured myself walking through the exit door, flowers in hand, and seeing Dafne’s smile, maybe even kissing her.

The smile started to grow on my lips slowly, waiting until the flight attendants said that it was safe to leave the plane.

I walked around the terminal, searching for somewhere I could buy her something. I smiled when I found a flower shop, walking towards it and searching around the store to find her favorite flower.

“Oh, is there something you like?” the lady asked.

“Do you have carnations?” I asked. “My… My girlfriend likes them”

“Oh, carnations” she smiled. “Red?”

“Yeah” I nodded. 

“Carnation… It holds a beautiful meaning, you know?” the woman said, walking around her store and collecting the flowers. “Love, devotion, fascination… The red carnations mean romantic love and affection”

Her words made my heart quicken, each syllable a reminder of how much I love Dafne.

“Then it's the perfect flower” I smiled, grabbing the bouquet she made.

“You might love that girl so much” she smiled.

“Oh, I do” I smiled. “She's the mother of my child. The best thing that happened to me”

“Mhm, you do sound in love” she smiled.

“I am” smiled.

I walked out of the store after paying, following everyone who was walking towards the exit door. Just thinking that she's waiting for me makes me walk faster and faster.

When the door opened in front of me and I saw her,  I couldn't stop smiling. But as I walked closer to her watching how she was hugging herself and biting her lip nervously, I tried to slow down and walk calmly towards her.

“Her, my love” I smiled, giving her the flowers and kissing her forehead.

“O-oh… Thank you” she smiled weakly looking at the flowers. “You didn't have to”

“I wanted to” I smiled, kissing her forehead again. “How… How are you?”

“Eh… Yeah, good” she mumbled. ,

“Love, is everything okay?” I frowned, worried. She was barely smiling. “Hey…”

“Let's go back home” she sighed, walking away towards the elevators.

Definitely, there's something wrong.

I sighed, walking next to her and reaching for her hand. I held it tightly, rubbing soft my thumb over her knuckles. I could feel she was nervous, looking around with her head facing the floor.

“Dafne, are you okay?” I whispered.

“Don't worry” she sighed.

We walked towards the car, my car. And in that moment, alone in the parking lot, I could see her. She is wearing a pink dress and her belly is a little bigger than last week. 

“You look so gorgeous, Dafne” I whispered, walking towards her and holding her hands. “So beautiful, so…”

“Can we please go home?” she insisted, nervous. “Please”

“Hey, what is wrong?” I frowned, cupping her cheeks and making her look at me. “Dafne, tell me what's wrong?”

“I…” she sighed, swallowing thickly. “I couldn't find Athena this, neither last night”

“Hey” I sighed, rubbing her cheeks. “She will be okay, yeah? Maybe she slept all night inside a wardrobe and she couldn't listen”

“I know, but…” she swallowed thickly. 

“Love” I whisper, kissing her forehead. “Athena is okay, I promise. Now, can you smile, please?”

She took a deep breath and looked at me, holding my wrists and sighing. There was still that worry in her eyes, but after she looked into my eyes, I could see the little relief.

“I missed you, so much” she finally said, wrapping her arms around me, and I could feel her belly too. 

“I missed you two, too” I smiled, pressing my lips on hers softly. “Come on, let's go back home, okay?”

She nodded slowly and sighed, kissing my lips again before resting her head on my chest. We stayed like this for a while, holding each other.

“I'm sorry I doubted you” she mumbled. “I just… I-”

“I know, Dafne” I whisper, swallowing thickly. “But I want you to know that I would do everything for this family. For you and our baby. You are my priority. You mean everything for me and I won't stop showing you that until you believe it. I won't stop showing you that I love you, even if we have an stupid argument”

She looked at me with wide eyes, blushing softly. And it only made me smile and kiss her lips again.

I don't care if there's people around, I don't care if they are taking pictures of us. We are two people in love, that show each other love. What's wrong with that? 

I held her hand and walked her to the passenger seat, laughing when I saw her roll her eyes. 

“Come on, just relax” I laughed softly.

I walked around the car and opened the driver's door, sitting behind the wheel and chuckling when she was pouting softly.

“Did you like the car?” I laughed.

“Of course I did!” she exclaimed. “God, it's so comfortable and so smooth to drive!”

I laughed softly and drove out of the parking, holding Dafne's hand and squeezing it softly. I know she's still worried, that she's still distant. But I will make her happy, I'll make sure she smiles as long as she lets me stay with her.

“You know the way to the cake shop?” she asked me and I smiled nodding. 

“Yeah, I used to go with your sisters to go buy the cannolli we always had in summer” I nodded. “Erica said that when it's your birthday they always came to the house to celebrate it because of the cakes”

“O-oh… right” she chuckled. “God, I still remember the cake I had for my last birthday… It made me throw up so bad”

“Maybe it was the pregnancy nausea?” I chuckled, playing with the ring of her finger.

“Oh no, no” she laughed. “It was the filling… I hated it so much. My parents tried their best to buy a cake similar to the one I love, but no one makes it as this shop”

I nodded, smiling when I remembered her face after trying that cake. And then it made me remember what I have on my backpack. I'll give it to her later.

“Then I guess the way of finding out the gender will be your favorite” I smiled, bringing her hand to my lips and kissing it softly. 

“Oh yeah, a sweet way” she chuckled.

I smiled looking at her, breathing the scent of the flowers I gifted her. There is something about her, like a glow she radiates with the pregnancy, that makes my heart beat so fast. Maybe it's the way her hand is always rubbing her belly, or how her cheeks are so filled and pinky. Or maybe it's her hair that somehow looks healthier and shinier, brunette again.

“You are staring” she said, squeezing my hand.

“Can't help it, there's a beautiful woman sitting next to me” I chuckled. “That happens to be so beautifully pregnant with my child”

“Idiot” she laughed softly.

I smiled, patting her thigh softly as she laughed, holding my hand.

When I drove inside of the village and parked the car in front of the cake shop, she smiled unbuckling herself and getting out of the car. Some minutes later, she walked out with a white box in her hands, happy.

“It's so beautiful, look” she said, opening the box after she sat in the car. “Guido said that the inside of it will be of the color of the gender and it has blueberry with lemon jam if it's a boy and strawberry and raspberries jam if it's a girl”

“Amazing” I smiled, kissing her cheek.

I drove to the house and when I parked the car, she got out, walking to the backyard and placing the box on top of the table she had already settled.

“I…” she took a deep breath looking at the house. 

“Let her sleep” I chuckled softly, kissing her head. “She's an old lady cat, nine years might be a lot”

“She's not old…” she sighed. “But… Yeah, I'll let her sleep”

I smiled and nodded, kissing her forehead and walking towards the table and sitting next to her.

“Are you ready?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady as I grabbed the knife.

“Yeah” she smiled looking at me, her eyes sparkling with anticipation.

Together, we carefully made the first cut into the cake. I could feel her hand trembling slightly, and I placed mine over hers, steadying it as we sliced through the soft icing.

My heart pounded in my chest as she slowly lifted the slice, revealing the color hidden inside.

Blue. With blueberry and lemon jam.

For a moment, we both just stared at it, the blue filling our vision. And then, I felt a wave of surprise wash over me, quickly followed by a rush of pure joy. I turned to Dafne, who was looking at me with wide eyes, a smile spreading across her face.

“It’s a boy!” I exclaimed, the words tumbling out of my mouth before I even realized it.

Dafne’s smile grew wider, her eyes sparkling with happiness. She got up from the chair and looked at me, then at the cake.

“A boy,” she repeated, her voice full of wonder. “We’re having a boy!”

The surprise quickly gave way to laughter, a light, joyous laughter that bubbled up from both of us as we stood there, holding each other close, doing little jumps on the place.

The idea of having a son was unexpected, but it filled me with a sense of excitement I hadn’t anticipated. 

“A little boy,” I smiled. “Our son.”

“He’s going to be amazing, Charles. I can already picture him… The little boy I fell in love…” she smiled looking at me.

I rested my hand on her belly, feeling the kicks under my palm and my heart swelled with emotion. It didn’t matter that we had been thinking about a girl. This boy, our son, was already the center of our world.

“He’s going to be incredible,” I said softly, kissing her forehead. “I can’t wait to teach him everything, to see him grow up”

“He will have a great father” she smiled, with her eyes filled with tears. 

“And he will have an amazing mother” I replied, with my voice full of happiness. “He’s already so loved, Dafne. We’re going to give him everything.”

“I can’t believe it,” she laughed, looking at the cake again, wiping away the tears that fell down her cheeks. “A boy…”

“A little Morelli Leclerc” I whisper against her lips. “Our son”

I smiled, pressing my lips against hers and kissing her deeply, holding her against me. And then I remembered the box inside of my backpack.

“I have something for you” I whisper, cupping her cheeks.

“Oh? What is it?” she smiled.

I pulled away and reached for my backpack, opening it and grabbing the box. I smiled, placing the box in her hands, taking a deep breath as she looked at the silver ring.

“I was going to give it to you on your birthday” I sighed. “Because I wanted to apologize, to talk about everything that happened between us… But I couldn’t”

“Oh, Charles…” she smiled weakly, grabbing the ring and putting it on her finger.

“But now, watching it…” I smiled, laughing as I looked at the blue stone of her birthstone and then at the blue cake. “I think it's fate. Blue for your birthstone and our baby… Our beautiful boy”

The day unfolded with a warmth that felt almost divine, as if some benevolent force had gifted us this perfect, sunlit moment.

But when we walked back inside the house, I could feel her happiness somehow disappearing.

“Athena?” she called out, her voice filled with worry, sending a sharp ache of unease through me.

The white and brown beautiful cat didn't walk to receive us. Not even made a sound.

“Please…” she mumbled.

“Hey, hey” I frowned standing next to her. “We’ll find her, okay? Maybe she’s just found a cozy spot somewhere, tucked away where she feels safe.”

“It’s just… She bas been acting weird, and I don't know why” she mumbled. 

“Love, Athena will be okay” I said, cupping her cheeks. 

How can something like this ruin our happiness? How could this had happened?

“We're going to find her, okay?” I whisper, bringing her close to me, wrapping my arms around her. “We are going to find her, give her so much love, and then tomorrow we'll go to the village’s vet, okay?”

She nodded slowly against my chest, taking deep breaths. I kissed the top of her head, rubbing her back. She pulled away after some seconds, looking at the stairs and signing.

“Lately she liked to sleep in your room” she sighed. 

“Then we'll search for her there” I said, holding her hand and walking upstairs.

The door of the room was open, and the bed was empty. The cat is not there. 

I looked around, searching every place she could hide with the light of my phone, sighing when I didn't see her under the bed or behind the curtains.

“Could she be in the wardrobe?” I suggested, glancing over at Dafne, who sat anxiously on the edge of the bed.

She sat on the bed, her breath coming in shallow, uneven sighs, one hand soothingly circling her belly while the other pressed against her aching back.

“Hey” I smiled weakly walking towards her, kneeling in front of her. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah… Just..” she sighed, taking a deep breath. “Until now I never thought that being pregnant and having to kneel and look under the bed was this hard. My back hurts a little…”

“It's okay” I smile, kissing her head. 

I walked to the wardrobe, opening the doors and looking over the shelves, between the clothes. I turned on the light of my phone and searched with it, until I saw a pair of eyes blinking slowly at me.

“Here you are, little one,” I murmured with a soft smile, my heart sinking at the weak  sound of her meow. 

But as I lifted her, the truth hit me. Athena was alarmingly light, her body fragile, and she barely mustered the strength to resist.

“Oh, my baby” she gasped, walking towards me and touching the cat’s head.

“She's so thin, Dafne” I whisper, surprised. “She wasn't like this when I left…”

Taking a deep breath, I pulled her close, our worried embrace sandwiching the fragile cat between us.

“How could I never notice?” she whispered, hugging the cat that was purring low. “I thought it was like everytime we moved out, or a big change happened. But… God, with the baby, and you being here, I didn't notice how much weight she has lost”

I took a deep breath and held her against me, with the cat between us. I really don't know what to say, I thought today was going to be an amazing day for us, that we were going to celebrate and be happy.

“Why don't we try feeding her, hm?” I whisper, with my lips pressed against her hair. “Give her that wet food she loves. We will take care of her and tomorrow morning I'll call the vet so he will come here to check on her again, okay?”

She nodded slowly, giving soft kisses on Athena's head.

“She's just an old lady that wants attention” I whispered, trying to cheer her up. “She knew today we were going to have a date, only the two of us, and got jealous”

“She missed you, too” she whispered. “She always slept in your bed during this week”

“See? She was jealous because you were going to spend time with me” I chuckled, rubbing Dafne's back. “You'll see, now she has our attention and tomorrow this little diva will be screaming for attention”

She sighed, looking up at me and smiling weakly. Athena was looking at us, and somehow I could see the pain in her big blue eyes. But I have to be strong, for Dafne.

“Come on, let's feed her” I said, holding her hand and walking out of the room, going to the kitchen.

Athena is Dafne's first pet ever, the first thing she invested in when she had her first salary after giving classes in the karting during summer while she was seventeen. And she loves that cat as her daughter.

“How can I be a good mother if I can't see how sick she looks…” she mumbled, making me look at her and frown.

“Dafne… My love” I sighed, cupping her cheeks. “You will be a great mother. This is something natural. You can't understand what a cat wants. They don't cry or talk to let us know how they feel. Just think that you took her to the vet the other day and she's with medication, okay? And that tomorrow she might feel better”

She clenched her jaw and sighed, leaving Athena on the table as we sat on the chairs. We tried to feed her with wet cat food and make her drink water slowly.

I don't know how long we stayed in the kitchen, maybe hours. But after the can was empty and the cat jumped out of the table, I looked out of the window and sighed when it was midnight.

“It's late, we should go to bed” I sighed looking at Dafne.

The happiness that filled her eyes during the entire afternoon was now gone. Worry made her smile disappear, biting her lip nervously.

“Hey” I sighed, moving her chair to keep her close to me. “She will be okay. Don't worry, okay?”

“I just… I feel so bad” I sighed. “She's old, kinda. And it just makes me panic everytime she gets sick… I don't want her to leave…”

“Oh, love” I sighed, hugging her. “She won't. She has a little brother to meet yet”

“Oh… God, I forgot,” she whispered, her voice cracking as she leaned into me, one hand cradling her belly.

“It's understandable, Dafne” I whisper. “You are exhausted, many emotions today”

“Yeah, but…” she whispered, sighing and hugging me.

“Come on” I sighed, getting up and holding her hand.

I guided her to her room, and when I walked it her perfume immediately hit me, making me smile and close my eyes.

I'm home. With her. 

“See? She's in her bed already” I whisper looking at Athena, laying on the little couch Dafne has in her bedroom. “She wanted attention”

“Your attention” Dafne smiled weakly.

“Of course, I have to look after my girls, don’t I?” I teased gently, trying to lift the mood.

“Sure” she smiled, hugging me.

I chuckled, kissing her forehead, then the tip of her nose, her cheeks, her jaw and finally her lips. I could feel her smile against my lips, making me sigh happily. 

“Let's get in bed” I whisper against her lips.

She smiled and nodded, kissing me again, unbuttoning my shirt, undressing me slowly. I did the same with her, pulling down the zip on her dress and taking it off, moaning softly when I felt that she wasn't wearing a bra.

“My beautiful girl” I whisper, kissing her neck and kneeling in front of her facing her belly. “And my beautiful son. My beautiful little boy. God, I love you both so much”

She placed her hand on my hair, rubbing it softly, making me close my eyes and press soft kisses on her belly. 

And then she said it, the three words I’d been longing to hear, words that had echoed in every dream.

“I love you, Charles.”

taglist

@racinggirl @elisysd @alltoomaples @ssprayberrythings @rach3164 @yvonne-dump @deliciousfestsalad @janeh22 @hc-dutch @ninifee1802 @kakorrhaphiphobia @ssararuffoni @itsjustkhaos @scaramou @tapedeck-hearts @sltwins @glitterquadricorn @ladystardust05 @theseerbetweenus @vizzzashley @auawdo @leah-also-known-as-creatoronwp @leptitlu @green-thots @caterinemirandax_ @mid5nights @harrysdimple05 @nofingjustaninchident

[divine-crows]

A Short Witchy Gift Guide for Non-Witches

Hello! I'm a witch. I also have a partner who's... not a witch? Lol. Anyways, I was thinking about how awesome it would be if people who are supportive of their witchy partners had a guide to help them with buying gifts (and it may help some witches fill out their wishlist)!

The following information is subjective and it's going to take your knowledge of the other person's likes and dislikes to ultimately pick what they like!

Now, books can be hit or miss. You'll want to be careful because a lot of books will have the same regurgitated basic information, and it might have content the gift-receiver doesn't really care to have or might already know. For book gifts it's probably best to just ask them if they have any books they've wanted for a while, but I have some ideas on how to look for good books regardless.

1. Books

LOOK FOR. . .

- Books with exercises (even if they can't use the content they can at least use that!)

- Books that are about a topic you know they are interested in but may not have a robust knowledge in.

- "Encyclopedia" books can be really good reference guides!

- I often get books that're published by Llewellyn because I've rarely read a book published by them that I didn't like; however, it's not a die-hard rule and you can definitely look elsewhere!

AVOID. . .

- Books with reviews calling them too simple

- Reviews that point out any gaps in the material the author is speaking of

- If they're not a beginner-- books marketed towards beginners (it'll have beginner in the title, or even will have it in text on the front cover)

2. Tarot Cards / Oracle Cards

Trust me, if you're big on divination, you can never have enough cards. The nice thing about buying cards is there's a wide variety of designs, themes, and styles so you're bound to find something. I'd recommend checking out Etsy, they have some amazing creators on there that make beautiful cards.

- cards with styles your gift-receiver will like

LOOK FOR. . .

-cards based on themes they may appreciate (for example: maybe you find a self care oracle deck for them after they talk about wanting to do more self care)

- Reviews praising the quality of the cards, and the ease of understanding the cards

- sometimes you can find mini decks which are great gag-gifts or can be perfect for divination on-the-go!

AVOID. . .

- cards with a lot of reviews complaining about the cards being made with low quality materials, fuzzy images, or complaining about them being hard to read/understand

- cards that have any themes they may not like (for example: if they're uncomfortable with nudity, you might be better off looking for a deck that doesn't have it!)

- Unless they've specifically stated wanting it-- avoid getting a Raider-Waite deck... it's the 'classic' design, which can be charming, but a lot of people already have it and a lot of people would prefer a more specialized design over it.

3. Make them a Mini Altar Kit

Perfect for travel, and is easy to find ideas for on pinterest. This one is good because you can buy a lot of "applicable to all" resources and it's all easily compacted in an altoid tin. Pinterest is a great place to go for ideas!

You can buy them witchy herbs, plants they have an affinity for... so many possibilities!

4. If they have a green thumb-- Buy them plants!

AVOID. . .

- any plants that may be dangerous to pets if they have any

- if they plan on planting in the soil-- avoid invasive plants such as mint.

While not an outright witchy gift, there's something beautiful about how the glass bulbs create rainbows when in the sunlight.

4. Sun Catchers!

From the research I did, I couldn't find anything on their origins (aside from an article that didn't have any sources), and nothing suggested a connection to closed practices (if you have sources that say otherwise please correct me!), so from what I'm aware they're just a pretty decorative piece.

LOOK FOR. . .

- reviews with pictures showing the product works as intended

- I suggest checking out small creators on etsy, there's a lot of beautiful glasswork creations!

AVOID. . .

- creations with a lot of reviews talking about them coming broken

- buying similarly named dream catchers (unless supporting a native creator)

5. Crystals, Pendulums, Scrying orbs, Etc.

Trust me, you cannot go wrong with beautiful, shiny rocks!

- crystals from reputable sources

LOOK FOR. . .

- crystals you know your gift-receiver will like

- honestly if they're pretty and shiny you're probably good

- make sure you find a guide on some tells for fake crystals!

- sources known for selling fake crystals

AVOID. . .

- dyed crystals (they're all most likely quartz or dyed glass)

- if ordering online, make sure there aren't a lot of reviews talking about them coming broken/chipped/etc.

6. Witchy Candles and/or Wax melts

Etsy has a plethora of dressed candles, and I've even found wax melts! You can even diy some as a gift!

Note: please practice fire safety and watch your candles, especially if they're dressed with herbs which can easily spread fire!

LOOK FOR. . .

- colors, scents, themes they'll like

- if you're unsure about color, black and white are typically neutral colors

AVOID . . .

- getting them a candle if they're not allowed to light them

- buying them a wax melt if they don't have something to melt them with

So that's all for now, Also I'm 99% sure this isn't a new theme of post, if anyone knows a similarly done post, please reblog with it linked so people can access more ideas! Likewise, please reblog with your own ideas for gifts!

[herehavesomeheadcanons]

hi! could you write cute relationship headcanons with ferid bathory? tyy!

Inside me are two wolves: one of them wants to stick to canon, and the other wants to fulfill requests to the letter. I am the mediator in their bloody battle as I try to find out how the actual fuck to write sweet fluff about a psycho vampire who murders orphans for fun and threatens to molest children. You guys just love to make me think, don't you?

Tw: Suggestive content. Listen, Ferid is Ferid.

Fluff with Ferid Bathory~

Same as usual, snatched the images off Pinterest.

🤍♦️ Well, for starters he is always clinging to you. He seems to always need to be touching you at every second. Doesn't matter what you're doing, he's gonna wrap his arms around you, drape himself over you, and kiss every inch of exposed skin. He especially loves to distract you from doing any projects or work you're trying to finish.

🤍♦️ Ferid is nothing if not playful. That being said, his version of 'play' might be a little different from yours. It's really him just trying his absolute best to get on your nerves and get you to react. He'll chase you around with a spider dangling from his fingertips to get a good reaction out of you. He also enjoys fun games such as tag, hide-and-seek, and play-wrestling. He knows he's going to win easily, but it's fun to see just how long he can keep the game going. Literally every game is cat and mouse for him. I think you know who's who.

🤍♦️ The best way to get him to be somewhat more soft with you is to make him actually love you. How do you do that? The answer is much more simple than you realize: beg for his attention. That's right, you heard me. Ferid has this desperate, subconscious need to feel wanted. That's why he has such a strong begging kink. Letting him know that you like his attention and want more fills that empty hole inside him, and he gets addicted quickly. He might not realize it at first, but eventually he'll come to the conclusion that he cannot live without you, and he will act accordingly.

🤍♦️ He will spoil you even more than he already does. Your life will very suddenly get a whole lot better, and it might make you a little suspicious at first. This is Ferid trying to impress you. He's basically making the statement that he can provide for you much better than anyone else can, so clearly he's the best and you should stay with him. Sure, he could just keep you hostage like he's basically already doing, but he's smarter than that. He knows that if you actually want to stay with him, then that decreases the chances of someone trying to 'save' you from him. He wants you to choose him over potential freedom.

🤍♦️ He will become even more possessive of you, and PDA will increase dramatically. He needs to let everyone know who you belong to. If he feels like someone is getting a little bit too close to you, he might stage a scenario where they 'accidentally' catch you two having a bit of fun (poor Mika has been the victim of this several times, because he feels sorry for you and keeps trying to talk to you). He simply cannot risk someone taking you away from him, and will do whatever it takes to keep you by his side.

🤍♦️ He will begin to take an active interest in pleasing you, both in the bedroom and out of it. And suddenly, he cares about giving you aftercare. Again, this is him saying that he's the best partner for you. Surely no other human could please you the way he can! He isn't wrong, of course. This bastard is extremely clever and observant, and a very quick learner. He knows what you like. (He'll also get a lot more needy, so watch out for that.)

🤍♦️ He will, in fact, attempt to join in any activities you enjoy. He'll watch TV with you, play games, learn how to sing, dance, paint, literally anything just to spend as much time as possible with you. He might never figure out why, but you are the one thing he'll never get bored of and he NEEDS your attention. Just give it to him, it's not like you can avoid him.

🤍♦️ Soft cuddles will become a thing. He loves to hold you and kiss you, and it makes his heart melt when you relax into his arms. It makes him feel so loved when you show him that you trust him and are comfortable enough to let your guard down around him, and he is shamelessly addicted to the feeling. And if you decide to turn the tables and spoil him with affection? You're going to be stuck with him forever.

🤍♦️ He will stay in bed with you all night, every night, even though he doesn't sleep. The fact that you are comfortable enough with him to fall asleep in his arms, even when he hasn't thoroughly exhausted you, has him almost in tears. He'll wake you up in the morning by covering your face in kisses!

🤍♦️ Ferid is capable of being a fantastic romantic partner, but it takes a special kind of person to be able to draw it out of him, and then to be able to handle how needy he gets when you finally do manage it. But chances are, if you're the kind of person that would willingly beg for his attention, you're the kind of person that can handle it!

[wasyago]

how did u get so good at composition:3 did u like to draw background all the time or it came to be after practice how long does one piece usually take:333

hehe well, thank you first of all. second of all... um both? practice yes, no one gets it on the first time. and just. i dont know? doing it over and over again and trying new things and experimenting, seeing what works, what doesn't, where the background is needed and not.

i remember i heard a lot of artists around me saying that they didn't like or couldn't draw backgrounds, and for some reason i decided that im not gonna be like other girls and learn to do it. and i uhhh.... just started? drawing backgrounds? i was trying, and watching tutorials on youtube, and seeing how other people did it and eventually it got easier? i can say that i definitely enjoyed figuring out how to do it, struggling to get the perspective and composition right. like, it was hard but i had a lot of fun doing it, so it felt natural and just like, normal art progression? it didn't feel like i was going out of my way to draw backgrounds, i just did it when i felt like it?

at some point i joined a character ask, you know, when people ask questions and you draw the character answering. and i decided that im gonna draw a background for each answer instead of it being a character on a blank background. and doing this, like, specifically trying to draw backgrounds and tell a story with them, and doing it regularly and coherently, it helped me progress a lot. like, i started with a character sitting on a couch in a room, and then it got better and better, multiple rooms, multiple angles of the same room, different locations and images. it helped me a ton. just, figuring out when you need a background, when its rather i did something simple for one frame and focused on the other instead, where the character needs to be positioned, etc.

i can say i didn't do a lot of proper studies, and if i did maybe it would've been helpful... i only drew things that were in my head, with characters that i liked, with imaginary locations and stuff. never really drew from photos... we did go on plein-airs, or whatever they're called, when i was in art school, so drawing backgrounds from real life probably also helped a little, but i can't remember anything about it so it didn't do as much.

i looked at a lot of art from cool artists and expanded my visual library, i analyzed their art trying to figure out why i like it and how to make my art have the same kind of feeling. and i still do! sometimes something just takes over me and i scroll pinterest for 3 hours looking at pretty art and going to artists' profiles and saving art and using it as inspiration later. and it helps! a lot!

i dont know where this post is going ummm. i guess if you want to learn to draw something, just like, start. scrap it if you don't like it and try again, have fun, don't get attached. and uhh, i felt a little nostalgic so here are some of my pieces that i did throughout the years. definitely feels like i got better at it recently, but there's still a lot of room for improvement

oh and for your second question. one piece takes about ummmm... more than a thousand episodes, thats 20 minutes times 1000 devided by 60 devided by 24... we're looking at about 14+ days of non stop watching?

no but for real. i dont really keep track of time when im drawing, uhh. plus depending on the complexity... my recent jrwi drawings are sketches, so they took maybe one or two hours max. something rendered uhhh, maybe 5 hours? if i don't finish it in one day the chances of this drawing ever getting done are super low, soo yeah

[myrtles-and-blood]

𝓞𝓯𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓛𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓑𝓮𝓮𝓵𝔃𝓮𝓫𝓾𝓫

Maggots — a small poem

Inside of you there's a rotting heart.

It smells every time it beats,

it dies every time it feels,

and it'll end falling apart.

Your words attract flies,

and your smile makes me gag.

Your touch kills the dead,

and you make everyone cry.

Just as the violet,

just as the rose.

They'll en up dying.

You'll all be a corpse.

But when the families cry,

and the flowers rot above your grave,

just remember

you'll all be eaten by the same maggots one day.

How I see Lord Beelzebub — a brief description

He appears to me, and I've always thought about him in this way, as an old man. He looks like a short, old and skinny pale man with red compound eyes. The eyes are human shaped, but the inside is like the eyes of a fly, you know? Has fine white hair, always wears black suits, has a lot of flies around him and has some gold/silver teeth. He has very sharp features and kinda looks like Willem Dafoe, actually. For some reason he smokes cigars. Not cigarettes, though. I think he thinks they're stupid. He has, sometimes, a very fine and white beard that remains really short or it's not even there. He has a watch, too, and he looks at it very often. That really relates to him being associated with dying things, so it's cool.

About the offering — an exam

So I made this offering because tomorrow I have an exam, and I am very much lost �� So I promised him an offering regardless of if I pass or not. I really wanted to thank him for his daily contact with me, helping me through the torture that's sitting down and doing boring stuff on my desk in a good position with no phone.

We had this little convo through tarot:

Me: okay how are we feeling.

Beelzebub: Awful. This is... very disappointing.

Me: oh :(

Beelzebub: But you still have to do the test. You still have to show up and write down whatever feels right. I can see you are quite lost, but you know a bunch still. What you need to do right now is rest, because you look like you're about to explode, and hope for the best. Go do it, explain whatever you can, and don't think about it again. We have to focus on tomorrow, not yesterday. Maybe it was the worst test you'll ever do, but that doesn't matter because you have another test next week. You know more than what you think you do, maybe it's not enough, but it's more than you think.

Me: YES EXACTLY I'LL DO WHATEVER I CAN AND WE'LL KILL THAT EXAM HOW ARE YOU FEELING BECAUSE I'M FEELING LIKE I CAN DO ANYTHING, HOW ARE WE FEELING !!!!

Beelzebub: Yeah yeah I'm feeling great, you can do it, but go get some water and lay the fuck down.

It was a good pep talk, it cheered me up quite a lot actually. He's good at pep talks. So as a way to thank him I wrote him a poem! and a description of how I see him, just as a plus.

I really like exploring body horror when writing for him. I still have to get better at it (like, a lot better) but I'm getting there!

My intention in this poem, although you can interpret it however you want: I wanted to remind you that even when you feel disgusting, awful, like a living corpse, and you compare yourself to everyone else as if they were perfect, you are made as the same flesh and bone the rest are made. You are no different from anyone on this Earth, and we'll all die the same way.

Very simple poem. I usually like to make them with more meanings and stuff, but I wrote it in English and I have no energy whatsoever. Still, I hope you found it cool. If not, that's cool too. I tried to make it as nice as my last offering to him (which I thought was a very nice poem).

May Lord Beelzebub bless you, and when it's your time to go, may he lead you as you come back to the Earth that gave you life.

✶ dividers by @/priestboy ✶ image from Pinterest ✶

[carbomcoco]

How to credit artists

TL;DR: Tell us the name of the person who made it.

Hi, all. There are instances when reposting art or using someone else's graphics (i.e. banners, dividers, etc) is acceptable, with the understanding that proper credit is given to the original creator. However, a lot of folks don't seem to know how to give proper credit to artists. I will explain here.

The most important thing to know is that the primary purpose of giving credit to the original creator is NOT to point out that you didn't make it. While that can be good to know, that's not the main objective. The primary purpose is to tell people who the actual creator is. If what you've written does not show people how to find the original creator, it is not proper credit. Examples of improper credit include:

"credit to the original artist!"

"found on Pinterest/Google/etc."

"art not mine"

Those do not tell me who made whatever it is you're reusing. That is not sufficient information. I should be able to read it and tell who made it.

So how do we credit people properly? Some artists may have very particular ways they'd like to be credited, in which case they will usually have this information listed somewhere, but most don't. If they're on tumblr, crediting them is as simple as listing their username/URL. If you were to credit me, for example, you would just say "art by @carbomcoco". Boom, that's it. We don't need a whole MLA-style bibliography if it's a social media post, just enough to tell us who made it. Contextualize it however is appropriate:

"pfp (profile picture) by @carbomcoco"

"cr: @carbomcoco"

"credit" <- with a hyperlink pointing to the account or original upload

If they're not on this website, it's very similar. Just add a slash after the @ or omit it so that it doesn't erroneously tag someone's tumblr, and say what website they're on.

"by @/carbomcoco on XYZ"

"by carbomcoco on XYZ"

"credit" <- with a hyperlink pointing to the external social media account or original upload

If the artist you're citing isn't a social media person, just list their name and the title of the piece (if it has one). Maybe link their portfolio if they have one and the site lets you use hyperlinks.

"Sierra Morning 1995" by David Muench

"On Touch: Gather" by Linda Dennis

Does that make sense? Tell us who made it. Most of the time, that's all you gotta do. Question time

Q: What if I don't know who made the original artwork?

A: Try a reverse image search such as Google Lens. This will often help you find the original upload. If you can't find the original, there's a fairly good chance that you don't have the artist's permission to reuse it without crediting them. Furthermore, the more times it gets reuploaded without credit, the harder it's going to be for people to find who the original artist was. Now your post is probably showing up in reverse image searches too, and serving as another dead end. Someone else might save the image from your post and reupload it again to another site, once again without credit. Stop the spiral early.

Q: Why do I have to say who made it? Isn't it enough that people know it wasn't me?

A: Unfortunately, no. For artists who take commissions or sell prints, severing the connection between the art and the artist can impact their income. People can't support the creators of their favorite works if they don't know who that person is. Even for artists who don't make money from their art, if a piece of theirs goes viral and they aren't cited as the creator, they won't get the praise they deserve for making something that a lot of people really like. Sure, it's handy for people to know it wasn't you so that they don't erroneously try to commission you or anything, but the primary purpose is still to direct people to the original creator so that they can actually use that information.

Q: What about the fandom gifs and banners that I use to make my fanfiction/headcanon post look more aesthetic? Should I credit those, too?

A: Yes, even those. Don't just scroll through the tags, save gifs that gif-makers upload, and use them for your own posts without credit. Unless they've explicitly said you don't have to credit them, you should credit them. Again, reuploading uncredited material will make it even more difficult for people to figure out who made the original image. If crediting wrecks the aesthetic of your post, learn how to make your own gifs and graphics.

So, to recap:

If you didn't make it, say who did. Google is not an acceptable answer. Pinterest is not an acceptable answer. "not me" Is not an acceptable answer. "the original artist" is not an acceptable answer. Give a name.

If you don't know who made it, find out.

If you can't find out, don't reupload it.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[astraythealterhuman]

🟡Cσɳƚҽɳƚ

ιɳϝσɾɱαƚισɳ🟡

✨First of all I wanna clarify that all my content will be family friendly, so everyone can read it. My posts won't usually contain mature or heavy themes, but in the rare case I feel the need to add something like that, I will always put a trigger warning in the beginning of the post

✨Second of all, I don't feel like I'm in the position to inform correctly about terms and stuff, since I haven't been interacting with the community enough. I consider that I still have a lot to learn, so please don't take everything I say as the full truth about something, my goal is not to inform but to share my journey. I can, and will make mistakes.

✨Now let's get started! If you have read my introduction before, then you may be wondering, what else can I find on this blog a part from your life experiences as an alterhuman? Well then, let me tell you what you will find here.

✨Hey! If you haven't read my introduction post and you want to know a little bit more about me; click here <3

✨Number one: You will find all the experiences I can remember about my alterhumanity, from childhood to adulthood. Spiritual, mental, dream or sensorial shifts, what may have triggered them, how I used to act when I was a child, and more! No matter how simple or complex they can be to describe.

✨Number two: Fun facts about my types and recent discoveries about them. For example; I'm a snow leopard, but maybe one day I can discover that I wasn't a snow leopard at all, and that I was confusing the theriotype with an arctic fox. I would like to update about this as fast as I discovered it.

✨Number three: Gear showing. This kind of posts will include images of the gear I own and general information about it, like where did I get it, how much it cost, the reason I bought it and what types do I relate it with.

But remember, gear doesn't define how much of an alterhuman you are, you don't need gear to be an alterhuman, it has never been about that. Although, gear can make you feel closer to your types.

✨Number four: Music. I would like to share songs that usually transport me to another world, songs that make my heart accelerate and therefore make me feel more free, more like my types. These songs can even trigger shifts, as I have experienced that myself.

✨I believe that's all! So I will be saying my goodbyes for now.

✨If you have any questions about something related to the topics I touched in this post, then I'm more than happy to answer them! You can leave your question in the comments section or in the question box.

🍓Disclaimer: The images used on this blog don't belong to me, they belong to their respective authors on Pinterest. (At least that's where I got the images from).

[anxiety-potato]

❦ ════ •⊰❂⊱• ════ ❦

𝓦𝓮𝓵𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓣𝓸 𝓜𝔂 𝓑𝓵𝓸𝓰

❦ ════ •⊰❂⊱• ════ ❦

◆━━━▣✦▣━━━◆

𝓘𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓸𝓭𝓾𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷

◆━━━▣✦▣━━━◆

♥︎ Hi there! I am The Anxiety Potato, the reason why for my name is because you could leave me to rot and I'd still somehow grow, just like a potato and the anxiety part is just simple because I am riddled with with the horrible feeling of anxiousness. Anyways, this is my bio, and here's everything you'd need to know! ♥︎

◆━━━▣✦▣━━━◆

𝓘𝓷𝓯𝓸

◆━━━▣✦▣━━━◆

These are things that I think you should know. My pronouns are any/all, I'm comfortable with any pronouns as long as they're not in the means of making fun of me or others who put pronouns in their bio. I'm also autistic, so sometimes I don't catch onto social cues or come off being a smartass. If I do come off that way, please tell me what it was I said that made it seem that way so I can correct it in the future. I am 22, so this is an 18+ account. I simply feel uncomfy with minors following/messaging me since I am an adult, and I'll be making and reblogging some content that is on the more spicy side and not for kids. So, anyone who is a minor or doesn't have at least 18+ in their bio will be blocked for their safety. Also, I will be posting things like my art, photos of things that I found neat, glitches from my games (looking at you sims 4), my doggo and cats, and just random things.

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𝓛𝓲𝓴𝓮𝓼

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I enjoy art of any kind folklore, horror, mysteries, animals (opussoms are my fav), video games, reading, dinosuars (I know these are also animals), fall, writting, cheesecake, the color sage green and sunflower yellow, though I do enjoy almost every color.

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𝓓𝓲𝓼𝓵𝓲𝓴𝓮𝓼

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I do not enjoy terfs, gatekeeping, toxic people (especially in the art community, seriously stop picking on new artists and artists that have certain style that you don't like, then claim its criticism, It's not. Criticism is not bullying someone off a plateform.), bright neon colors (I won't be mean to you if you like bright colors, I just have really crappy eyes and it hurts to look at them. The only bright color that doesn't hurt my eyes is most yellows for some strange reason), AI art, abusers of any kind, pedos, sexism, racism, anti-lgbtq+.

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𝓔𝔁𝓽𝓻𝓸

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♥︎ I think this is all you guys need to know about me. I hope that I made this well and that you were able to read this since I am dyslexic. The gif used came from the tumbler gif search bar under "sunflower" since while looking for photos and gifs on Pinterest and Google a lot of AI generated images kept popping up and I was afraid I'd accidentally download an ai image to use for this. I also hope that you'll enjoy my posts and everyone's posts on here! ♥︎

❦ ════ •⊰❂⊱• ════ ❦

P.s. The gif used came from the tumbler gif search bar under "sunflower" since while looking for photos and gifs on Pinterest and Google a lot of AI generated images kept popping up and I was afraid I'd accidentally download an AI image that went under my radar to use.

[emkini]

27 29 30 24 21 for the ask game! sorry its a lot :'D

No worries! You chimed in quick so I'll respond to these before bed :D

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

Noooot really, sometimes I try but usually the warmups end up becoming the main event. If I really want to warm up before working on something I'll keep it simple: Spirals, body parts, easy landscapes. Nothing that's going to suck up the energy I need for the actual piece.

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

I think most of the media I enjoy inspires me in some way, whether it be aesthetically or literally. However there was that one time I was obsessed with The Crown but couldn't, for the life of me, find any artistic inspiration in it

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

Honestly it'd be easier to say which pieces I think are overrated. It's been a long time since I've had a piece I was proud of (that wasn't nudity/mild nsfw) severely under-perform by my own standards.

24. Do your references include stock images

My references include whatever I find inspiring or useful. Stock images, pinterest, photos of my own hands at weird angles. Stock photos are usually helpful for technical stuff, especially limb posing.

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

Lineless + painterly styles: I can do them to some degree but it's hard and I usually don't have the time. Huge huge fan of artists who can consistently pull that stuff off. I also really enjoy watercolors but wouldn't touch them myself with a ten foot pole

[the-lady-writes-what]

Now for something completely different: The AI Problem with Etsy

I was minding my own business and scrolling through Pinterest, when I came across this:

First you think, that's a pretty dress. What could be wrong with it? Turns out, quite of few things. I will admit that the AI is pretty good here, but you can't help but notice how stiff the "model" is. Then, the cracks start to appear. The eyes seem to be looking in different directions. The background looks too unfocused. The hair doesn't make sense.

And then you get to the dress itself.

I am not a professional seamstress or dressmaker. I sew as a hobby, so please take my word with a grain of salt. However, I know enough about the basics of sewing and construction to tell you that something funky is going on. First the price. The seller slashed the price from $475 USD to a measly $142.50 and doesn't include shipping. The most expensive dress I have made would have set me back at least $100 if not for the fact that I purchased the fabric from the craft I worked at during that time. It was a simple medieval gown of linen. A ball gown with corset lacing, lace, boning, gathers, and at least 6+ yards of fabric for the skirt alone would set you back a couple hundred dollars just for supplies alone. The total cost of the dress with all the supplies plus labor would make the item cost higher than the $475 figure.

This wedding gown looks like what a $500+ ballgown should be.

The dress retails at $579 plus $97 for shipping. If a dress originally worth $475, it's going to include a pricy shipping and handling tag. And the only reason someone would make a dress worth that much money and knock that price down by 70% is if they're going out of business and desperately need to get rid of their stock. Here's a thing about retail, most often if they're giving you such a big sale, it's because the retail value is much lower than what they're selling it to you for. They already bumped up the price to cover the cost of shipping and handling, although in the case of most corporate big box department stores I suspect it has more to do with making more money when they trick you into thinking that you're getting a deal for a dress that should probably match the sale price and not the marked up one.

Let's get back to the original dress. There's a couple of discrepancies right off the bat. The gathered ruffles at the top mysteriously end in the middle of the bodice. The bodice looks like it has three strings trying to imitate corset lacing and I can't seem to figure out how it would be sewn. I don't see seams for boning and you would definitely need some boning structure for a dress like this just for stability while wearing it, especially if you're wearing a strapless bra. The lace at the end of the sleeves melt, literally MELT, into the other fabric instead of, you know, being SEWN? It also doesn't look right from a design stand point. You have all that gorgeous pink satin and you slap on cheap lace where there is lace nowhere else on the dress?

This is another picture from the same listing but it looks like a similar but very different dress.

The bodice style is completely different going from a more heart shape to a straight across. The front lacing is even more funky, the sleeves somehow got worse and are completely different from the first image, and the "model's" face looks like it's melting if you look closer at the image.

Here is the supposed back:

Even with my amateur eyes, this back is incongruent with the design of the front and looks like a new kind of dress. The sleeves have changed yet again and the lacing is a horrifying mess of Lovecraftian proportions.

Everything about this listing is alarming. There's only one color, the size chart is very small (only 0 to size 12), there's no shipping, and no refunds. Sometimes you need to be cautious around sellers of any goods that offer exchanges rather than cash refunds. There might be legitimate reasons a good seller doesn't do refunds, so you need to take that into account before labeling someone a scammer. If you see "no refunds, only exchanges" and there are other red flags, then you would most likely be in the right to call that seller a scammer. Even with a 70% "sale", $132 is a lot of money to throw away on a dress that might not exist and by the time the store gets shut down, you might not get your money even if in the off chance Etsy or whatever platform decides to throw you a bone and compensate your loss.

The same store has a much more obvious AI "dress" they're trying to sell.

The "model" is even worse. The eyes are definitely going into different directions and the mouth literally looks slapped on. I'm not an expert in photography or anatomy, but there's also something funny going on with the legs. Should legs look like that? The listing calls this one a "Vintage Style Gothic Medieval Dress, Halloween Party Costumes for Women, Vampire Cosplay Long U shaped Skirt, Baggy Sleeves Roleplay Tunic". First, if the listing of a clothing item is a fucking novel, it's either fake or shoddily made in China by an underpaid seamstress in a sweatshop. Second, nobody calls that a "U-shaped" skirt. That's not a thing.

The proper terminology would be a "high-low" or "mullet" skirt. I have never heard of "U-shaped" skirt before.

The front of the dress is supposed to be laced, I think? But the design loses cohesion. If you tried to zoom in, the entire image gets blurry. The dress, the background, the "model." It all looks super funky, and not in a fun way. I can't tell if they were going for corset lacing, rouching, gathering, or all three at once. The AI mess up big time. And of course, all the images in the listing look like similar but different dresses.

I'm including a link to the shop in the hopes if anyone sees this and cares enough to report the shop and all its listings to Etsy. I don't know if they'll do anything about it since they seem to care more about making money than protecting consumers these days, but it can at least send awareness that we don't want scammers and fake artists using AI to hurt people.

Scammer Etsy page link here

[touyaspeach]

"But Lili how do I support an artist without paying money?" You might say. Or, "I found it on pinterest with no source." Or "I don't feel like reverse image searching to find the original."

Let me kindly give you a few options.

1. You can support artists for free by reblogging and sharing their work. Liking posts doesn't mean anything on this site, if you want to support someone, you HAVE to reblog.

2. If you find art you like with no source, there are a plethora of reverse image search engines that you can upload the art to and find the original.

"But what do I do then?"

Well, first look and see if the artist allows reposts of their work. It's almost always explicitly stated in the artist's bio. If they do, then ask them if you can crop it for your purposes or ask them if you can use it for your purposes. If they don't, then respect their wishes and do not repost the art or use the art for your blog or fanfic.

If the artist doesn't speak your language then err on the side of caution and just don't use the art.

3. If you don't feel like spending 3 minutes searching for an original then don't use the artwork. It's very simple.

It's so disrespectful when people use stolen work for a number of reasons, and I've seen these same writers turn around and make a stink when their writing gets reposted to wattpad. But think it's still okay to use stolen and unsourced art for their purposes.

"Lili, I saw someone use a stolen fanart for their fic banner and I don't know what to do."

You can report them, or you can send them an ask or a message about it.

Never attribute to malice what can be explained by incompetence, or something, right? I'd like to give these people the benefit of the doubt and say that don't realize it's wrong. So reaching out a gentle hand could be helpful.

Anyway please stop it's driving me insane and killing my willingness to make content because I'm worried that someone will use it without permission. Thanks.

[dolls-and-crafts]

This is my grail garment. A 1930s cape that I stumbled upon on Pinterest and fell in love with. The original image is from wondertrading over on Flickr (check them out! They have oodles pictures of gorgeous vintage pattern).

Unfortunately, I cannot find the pattern itself anywhere.

Solution? Make my own!

I have lots of courage and little skill. Started sewing clothes this summer and I still haven't finished a single one (though to be fair, I only need to hem the two skirts and modify the blouse slightly to be done. Unfortunately I don't want to, so we're doing this instead!)

Step 1: How It's Made:

I have made Barbie clothes from drawings before, so I have a method. Is it the most efficient method? No, but it works for me.

The first step is always to get the best possible picture of the garment and figure out how it's made.

Since this is the only image I could find of this pattern, I need to improve it on my own.

I'm using Paint Tool SAI's linework layer to draw on top of the image with my mouse. The result is this:

The point here is not realism, but simply to make it clear how each layer of ribbon is formed into the cape. The white lines are drawn on top of the more subtle highlights of the original drawing, to help me figure out where I need to ruffle the three bottom layers.

Clearing up the image and removing the original, I end up with this:

(The numbers were added in Paint, since SAI don't have a writing tool.)

We have five layers of ribbon-

Ok, let's stop there. The cape is clearly named "McCall Ladies' and Misses' Ribbon Cape", and while I have absolutely no clue about 1930s fashion, that doesn't look like ribbon to me. 

That looks like strips of fabric. Velvet fabric, to be specific.

I will have a different blog post on what material I think this is made from (tl;dr: silk velvet) and what I will use instead (I am poor and not skilled enough to sew silks). Stay tuned for that later.

But let's get back to the "how it's made". At the middle back (where the numbers are on the drawing) the strips of fabric seem to be equally wide, possibly narrowing somewhat where layers 2-5 meet layer 1. I will assume that the layers are equally wide all the way around, since that's easy to do, and it will be obvious in the finished product if I was wrong. It will also be easier to figure out where I should narrow the strips of fabric down, and how much, once I've made the first mock-up. So this is a "mañana" problem, aka. "make a note, but ignore for now".

Also, my method leads to the need for multiple mock-ups. That is because I would rather make it twice than spend days figuring out each step and still be wrong. Cheap cotton fabric is absolutely worth investing in if you follow my "fuck it, good enough" method of sewing.

From the original drawing I can see that the cape goes from the neck and down to about the shoulders, so I measure this area to figure out how wide each ribbon should be.

On me (a short woman with no shoulders) this is about 46 cm.

46 / 5 =  9.2 cm = 9.5 cm

(I'm rounding up to 9.5, because I am not fiddling about with millimetres when I'm making clothes for myself. Half a centimetre is close enough!)

But I can't just add on some seam allowance and start sewing. From the image, it looks like the top layer envelops all the other layers. Doing that will make it a lot easier to sew, and make the finished garment look better.

Therefore layer 1 will be width + width + seam allowance.

Layer 1: 9.5 + 9.5 + 2 = 21 cm

I set the seam allowance to a centimetre at each end, therefore 2, since one centimetre is clearly marked on my sewing machine. You can change this number to whatever you prefer. Main rule: if the fabric is thick or unravels easilly, make it wider, if it's thin or tightly woven you can make it smaller. For clothes to myself, I never go beneath 1 cm, but I am also a beginner.

Layer 2 - 4 are quite simple. Width / 5 + seam allowance.

Layer 2 - 4: 9.5 + 2 = 11.5 cm

Layer 5 is slightly different, since you need to hem the bastard. Hemming with a single centimetre seam allowance is possible (and can make a nice finish), but it's a pain so I won't.

Doubling the seam allowance on the hem makes the total seam allowance 3 cm, and the calculations:

Layer 5: 9.5 + 3 = 12.5 cm.

So now I have the width of each layer. Next step is how long each layer is. Unfortunately, this is something I will have to try on my body to figure out. The top layer will need to be tied in a bow at the back, so cutting that out and finding the right length should be easy-ish.

But I also need to keep an eye on how each layer is sewn.

Because layer 1 and 2 are both given shoulder seams on the drawing, while layer 3, 4 and 5 are all ruffled around the shoulders, but with unruffled backs and sides. That means that layer 3 will be quite a bit longer than the second layer, but how much is impossible to know until I've made the mock-up.

Also? Different fabrics ruffle differently. So if you sew this from a stiffer material, you might need fewer ruffles, while a more drapey fabric will look better with more. Since I'm making my mock-up from woven cotton and my garment from velvet, this will be something I have to keep an eye on when making the actual garment, since velvet and woven cotton drapes and ruffles differently.

So now all I have to do is cut meters upon meters of strips of fabric.

Start a podcast, put on the TV or phone a friend to keep you company, this will take a while to do.

[catovyen]

If you are going to repost or reupload any of my artworks, please at least give credit in the description or alt text if the media has that feature.

If you don't give credit then add it on the description, or take it down. I don't care if you use my art for your fan account, edits, animation, etc - just state the original artist's name, it's that simple.

It doesn't matter if you commissioned from an artist, that artwork doesn't 100% belongs to YOU.

This doesn't only benefit me, it benefits other people who wanted to see more artworks or content with my style. Well in this case, it benefits others to see more of the artist's style.

I have always seen artworks with a certain art style that I like, and I want to see what the artist has in store (perhaps give them a follow). But these artworks I found doesn't have a link back to the original artist and it just makes me disappointed(?) that I am unable to find them.

Sometimes doing a reverse image search doesn't help at all. It links back to websites such as pinterest or zerochan... you name it. Or it links back to some random fan account that leaves no credit to the original artist.

Some occassions, searching for the artist's username from their watermark doesn't help too. There are a couple of times I tried to search for them, but their username changed to something else to ✨ god who knows what it is now ✨

This might be just me but I don't care if you didn't credit my artwork for your profile pictures or banners, but I would highly appreciate if you did it. Because profile descriptions are very limited to characters.

Lastly, this should be very obvious. DON'T claim artworks that isn't yours as your own. Idgas if you use AI or something, just don't.

"It's not that serious, go touch grass"

IT IS SERIOUS AND I ATE ALL OF THE GRASS

Anyways I hope some of y'all start creditin artists 💪

[danatron1]

Why does Tumblr respect me?

I don't think tumblr users realise how good they've got it. I didn't either - I just got here. I'm amazed.

I right click on a video and save it. As an MP4 file. what. This simple thing is unheard of on other platforms. Reddit doesn't allow this. Twitter doesn't allow this. You're high on catnip if you think Youtube would ever allow this. But Tumblr allows this.

It's a basic level of respect for its users that is so alien to me, coming from reddit. Tumblr just lets me have things. I can open something in a new tab and it's just a raw image. It doesn't lock everything down in an attempt to force you to link to their site instead of just sharing an image. It doesn't watermark anything I download to try and claim ownership of it (remember when people clowned on ifunny for this?). It doesn't see my desire to socialise as an opportunity for free advertising.

Also - I can just share things! Without tracking! I can copy a link without seeing ?feature=shared appended to it. It lets me opt out of algorithm-generated content feeds. Tumblr feels like it actually respects my privacy - it feels like a 2004 website in the best way possible. Custom CSS is a thing, you can have your own domains that look how you want them to. What the hell. Remember when youtube let you fully customise your channel page? Remember myspace? It feels like tumblr didn't get better, everything else just got worse.

My one complaint is that it prevents you from browsing content unless you have an account - that's a dick move. Don't be pinterest.

Tumblr is a big site, it absolutely has the power to lock everything down and try and create an ecosystem that discourages off-site sharing. Not doing so is an active choice. Not tracking every link is an active choice that I fully expect to hurt their advertising potential. On that note - I've not been pestered about adblockers once.

I'm new here, but I'm experienced enough to know a good thing when I see it. I'm used to sites that want to stick their digital hands into my wallet, and only because technology doesn't allow them to slip them under my skin yet. I hope these first impressions are accurate, because I'm absolutely ready to get absorbed into tumblr culture and see the "world heritage posts" I've heard so much about. Not as a tourist, but as a citizen.