#Welp guess I need to watch those episodes again sometime tomorrow

[fyeahygocardart]

Zushin the Sleeping Giant

[fromzerotoeuphoria]

me watching Free! Eternal Summer

(reposted from original blog, July 22, 2020)

An incoherent and unorganized scribbling of my thoughts while watching Free! Eternal Summer before I really came to grips with how in love I am with RIN MATSUOKA this anime. (so plz excuse how haphazard and unorganized this is, I wasn't really planning on journaling this but found myself doing it anyway)

✧ ✧ ✧

Free! Eternal Summer ☼

7/16/20, 2:39AM

Okay okay okay I know I should be sleeping because we're driving to the beach in the morning but I really wanted to check out the first episode of Free! Season 2 and OMG sooooo the intro theme song showed this new guy who seems to be on Rin's team and, ahem... He's rather very good looking 👀 Best looking boy so far, and that's saying something because you got Haru and Rin and even lowkey Rin's ex-team captain so...yeah. Welp I'm looking forward to this season 😁

☀

7/22/20, 2:11AM

So I believe I've watched up to Episode 4 now, and I know I haven't been commenting recently but sometimes I just wanna watch without any journaling interruption :P But okay so far OMG, so Rin's friend Sousuke (the big tall buff good-looking guy) is kind of a jerk, I mean I get that he was friends with Rin first back in elementary and ngl, I'd feel slighted too of my old best friend abandoned me for some new kids. But he doesn't have to be such a...jerk about it.

AND HE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE ALL POSSESSIVE EITHER 👀 👀 👀 👀

Hahahahaha yeaaahhh, so there's legit like this friend-triangle going on where Sousuke is acting all possessive over Rin and then there's Haru who's just happy to have his Rin back in his life and there's Rin who's just the It boy it seems who cares for both friends and is totally oblivious to the battle going on over him 😏😆 And am I loving it?? Absolutely yes.

I just...ugh I just love the dynamic between Rin and Haru, and though high-school Rin isn't my favorite anime character, elementary-school Rin IS and idk why but I love the idea of everyone loving and wanting him and just ugh I love that aloof, expressionless Haru gets all emo over Rin like Rin is his bestest friend without him actually ever being his bestest friend, like Haru secretly admired Rin so much and was inspired by him and came to love him though Haru, being the non-emotional-don't-show-feelings guy and kid he is, never indicated how he felt about Rin and UGHHH the feels in this show are too much.

Elementary school-Rin literally is one of my most favorite characters ever in anime, I love him so much; he's like a shining light to the world.

Anyways, gonna check out the next ep! (aaaaand I'm actually really exhausted and have to run errands tomorrow, so maybe I'll just be going to sleep, idk :P)

☀

Episode 6

OMG...is Makoto starting to question whether he's Haru's best friend anymore in comparison to Rin???!?! I'm like sad but also like eeeeeeek because I literally love RinHaru so much but I also love Makoto and don't want him to be sad :(((( He hinted at it when Nagisa asked him why he competed against Haru, and Mako said that he just wanted to try a serious race against Haru...but then, while watching Rin and Haru standing next to each other chatting after their race, with wistful eyes added, "I’m not sure. Was I jealous of Rin?" ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

And then Sousuke had a similar look in his eyes when Rin was talking about Haru beating him in their race. Methinks these friends are feeling like Haru and Rin have this special bond/connection with each other, and like they're being left out in a way.

Idk, this is just my initial impression without thinking too deeply into it.

Welp onto ep7!

☀

7/22/20, 6:03 AM

I FINISHED SEASON 2 😭💙🌊

I have some things to say but I'm too tired and wanna figure out what the heck season 3 is all about (and my eyes are about to fall out of my head because yet again, I pretty much binged the entire season yet again 😵💀💤)

☀

7/22/2020, 1:40PM

IN SUMMARY...

Okay, so let me talk a little bit about Season 2.

So yeah, I enjoyed it, and I absolutely LOVE my bois so much <333, but I'll admit, it wasn't as emotionally intense as Season 1. Yeah, Haru had a couple of meltdowns with his whole "I don't know what I want to do in the future so stop trying to force me to choose a dream" personal drama, but outside of that there wasn't too much interpersonal drama, not like in Season 1 :( And honestly, that’s what sucked me into this anime, as I was livinggg for all the emo drama between Haru and Rin lol.

But it felt like this season lacked in that department. Of course, it makes sense since Rin has already reconciled with the others, but I guess I expected to see more of elementary-school Rin in high-school Rin, but there were only hints of little Rin in older Rin :/ Still love Rin ofc (my boyyyy) but he wasn't as charismatic, as outgoing and idealistic and happy and shining as his elementary-school self :( And I guess I was expecting that, so maybe in a way I set my own self up.

But back to the RinHaru lack, like don't get me wrong there was a ton of RinHaru-ness (I mean, Australia) but it wasn't as emo and intense as last season's. I wanted Rin and Haru to spend more time together, to see more of that need they had for each other that they had in Season 1. But it just…lacked. And not gonna lie, I'm sad about it :( I want Haru to need Rin and Rin to need Haru, and yeah we already know they do, but I want them to show it. I want HARU to show it.

(I want to indulge in my feels some more lol.)

And now that they're in totally different countries in Season 3, my RinHaru heart is so frustrated, like there better be some texting/skype calls/letter writing/something between these two because y’all can’t just give us all that emo angsty “YOU WILL SWIM FOR ME” “I WANT TO SWIM WITH YOU” “I KNOW WHO I SWIM FOR” “LET ME SHOW YOU A SIGHT YOU’VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE” drama and then separate the two after you spent an entire season telling us how much they need each other like, come on KyoAni! You’re killing me here!

I wonder if this means we won’t be getting much RinHaru in season 3?? Rin is in Australia while Haru is going to college in Tokyo (as well as Makoto, so happy for you babe!). If Rin is the one who lights a fire in Haru when swimming and vice versa...how're they supposed to do that 4k+ miles away from each other? I’m hoping KyoAni’s got something up their sleeve because RinHaru was the very reason I fell for this anime, please don’t deprive me now!

Season 3 also has some old-but-new characters come in: Haru and Makoto’s old middle school swim teammates. And apparently there will be drama there, while some new character comes into Rin's life and there's a story there, too. Not to be such a fangirl, but…I don't want them only interacting with new characters and then having separate stories from each other; call me greedy (because when it comes to RinHaru, I totally am, no shame) but I want RinHaru, not Rin in his own world and Haru in his.

Anyways, I'm going to watch the OVAs and then the middle school movie before starting Season 3. Maybe those "new" characters in Season 3 will be in the middle school movie, and then we'll get some story set up for Season 3. Also, I think it's absolutely hilarifreakinous that at the beginning of all this I literally was like, “Meh, gonna check this anime out, don't expect to fall for these characters like I did with Haikyuu*" and yet here I am with elementary-school Rin as my best boi after Levi and my first ever anime ship ahahahaha funny how the cookie crumbles 🙂

*note: I still love Haikyuu more overall, for I fell hard for the entire friggin volleyball team, not just two three characters (Gou is best girl, Gou >>>> Haikyuu girls), but I definitely feel more emo towards Rin and RinHaru and I really like Gou. I don't think I'd even really consider Free! one my top animes in regards to overall story 'cause it's honestly not all that remarkable, but the characters; I just love and little Rin is definitely one of my favorite anime characters ever, GAH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 😭   edit 8/20/20 - pfftskdjkkklds wow how naive I was lollllll (I still love Karasuno OFC, but as of now I've been more emotionally involved by and absolutely obsessed with RinHaru than I have with Karasuno, but it doesn't necessarily mean I love one over the other. They're both the loml <3)

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Keeping Up Appearances (baon)

Summary: Compromise was the stepping stone of a good marriage

Tags: Spicyhoney, Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff, References to Possible Illness, Implied Sexytimes

part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

Stretch teased Edge sometimes about spoiling him. It was true that he enjoyed doing things for him, Edge couldn’t deny that. Whether it was a gift or making plans to take him places didn’t matter, and if doing things to make his husband smile was considered spoiling him, Edge would be content to continue for the rest of their lives.

For example, getting him a chicken. Or three.

His intentions when he'd gotten the chickens were nothing more complex than giving Stretch a pet. Once Edge did the research and learned they were relatively simple to care for, the decision was made. If he were honest, Edge had fully expected to take over their care within a month and was pleasantly surprised when Stretch stayed diligent. His impulsive gift had been a far better choice for his husband than he could have ever guessed.

Having something he could care for with relatively little pressure involved did Stretch a world of good and it always warmed Edge’s soul to see him with his little brood. Whether he was watching them in the yard or something more strangely creative, like dressing them in costumes, Stretch’s delight was Edge’s, always.

The eggs were something of a practical afterthought. At the beginning, he'd been more concerned with getting the type of chickens that would be best as pets, and when he'd learned there were breeds that laid colored eggs, his choice had been made.

As he was learning, the amount of eggs three small chickens could provide at the peak of their laying could be a challenge. Edge liked to think he was up to the task and thus far he hadn't wasted a single one. At least one night a week he made omelets to help deal with the overabundance.

Simple, quick, and delicious, easy to doctor the ingredients based on what was in the refrigerator, plus Stretch liked them. A win-win, all the way around.

Tonight, Edge sautéed mushrooms in butter and white wine, adding garlic, and then the eggs. He added a sprinkle of cheese and when it was just melting, he pulled the pan from the heat, carefully folding it onto the plate. A second omelet took only a couple minutes and the first was still steaming when he carried the plates out to the living room.

There he faced his first conundrum of the night; where to put them.

The coffee table was currently covered with papers. There were notebooks, diagrams, scraps of paper covered in equations written in Stretch’s messy handwriting in a kaleidoscope of ink colors. Stretch was sitting in the floor pouring over them. He barely even glancing up as Edge walked over to him, chewing on the end of a purple pen.

Distractedly, he took the plate from Edge, mumbling a thank you before shoveling a bite into his mouth.

Well, at least he was eating food instead of writing utensils. Edge sat in the armchair with his own plate, eating silently as he watched Stretch work.

This was an effect of moving the lab equipment to their basement that Edge hadn’t anticipated. It was slowly leaking upstairs. Not that he could complain, he often brought his own work home. But then, he didn’t need the rest that Stretch did. Four or five hours a night suited him fine, while Stretch really needed a more traditional eight, nine if he could.

Stretch also should have taken a nap that afternoon and it didn’t seem as if he had. He looked tired. There were visible shadows beneath his sockets and usually if Edge sat there long enough, he would start explaining what he was doing. It was almost an automatic response these days and Edge always listened, whether or not he understood.

Today, Stretch only set his empty plate on the least cluttered corner of the table and kept writing. He didn’t seem as if he was truly working now, doodling in the margins, misshapen spirals and geometric shapes with uneven lines. But then, for all Edge knew it was another scientific language, it wasn’t like anything else on those pages made sense to him.

Almost, Edge asked him what he was working on. It would get him talking, if only to shut Edge down, and normally he would. If only Stretch didn’t look so tired.

The fatigue wasn’t completely abnormal; it was a simple fact of having low HP. On the rare occasions Stretch worked himself to exhaustion, he always made up for it afterward by sleeping in the next few days.

Edge shouldn’t be worried. And yet—

The pen was abandoned and now Stretch was absently folding a scrap of paper, crisp lines slowly forming into one of his creations.

He couldn’t be sure what, but something was clearly bothering Stretch. His work, an oncoming depressive episode, perhaps even illness. Something was clearly out of the normal.

Well, there was no point in dancing around it.

“Are you feeling all right?” Edge asked bluntly.

“i’m fine,” Stretch said, shortly. Nothing else, not so much a smile or wincingly sharp sarcasm. Which could mean that he was perfectly fine, or that he was definitely was not but didn’t want to talk about it.

Irritating to not know which. It was life with Stretch in a nutshell.

The paper he was folding slowly came into focus as a little rabbit. It was carefully set upright and with a flick of Stretch’s finger, it jumped across the table. Edge watched, considering his options.

He could either push it and risk actually angering Stretch or he could let it go and trust that if anything were wrong, Stretch would tell him. Neither choice was sitting very well with him.

He settled for leaning down to press a kiss against the top of Stretch’s skull. If he happened to mentally gauge his husband’s temperature when he did it, he could hardly be blamed for that.

From the suspicious look Stretch gave him, he was not fooled. That he hooked a finger in the collar of Edge’s shirt and pulled him down for a real kiss was more encouraging.

“i’m going to be down at the embassy tomorrow,” Stretch murmured when he drew away, still close enough that Edge could feel the warmth of his breath. “did you want to have lunch?”

“What are you doing at the Embassy?” He made a point of not reminding him of his promise to shortcut in to avoid the protesters, despite his inner voice howling for it. Stretch was an adult and he was highly unlikely to forget a promise.

Stretch shrugged. “sans asked me to come down. he and alphys are working on something, and he wanted a third opinion.”

“Hm.” Edge decided not to ask. Much as he loved listening to Stretch’s excited chatter, past experience taught him that Alphys’s work was even more incomprehensible than Stretch’s. “Yes, we could meet for lunch.”

“good.” Stretch kissed him again before asking with deliberate sultry warmth. “welp, i’m finished for the night. you done with work?”

Even a fool would understand that implication and Edge liked to consider himself above average. He was a little torn. He always wanted to be with Stretch and sex definitely held more appeal than dishes.

But he looked tired and Edge wasn’t entirely convinced that this wasn’t a ploy to take his mind off that fact.

Compromise was the stepping stone of a good marriage, he decided.

“I am. Let me do something for you?”

That took him aback. “uh, sure?”

Stretch’s uncertainty only grew as Edge slid down to the floor, pushing him gently to lay back as he settled between his legs. He slithered downward, dragging Stretch’s shorts down with him and soon, any doubts were alleviated.

Hands scrabbled against Edge’s skull, thin fingers unable to find purchase, and he didn’t quite bring Stretch to the point of begging, though it was close. Stretch didn’t last ten minutes but Edge liked to think they were a good ten minutes. Certainly Stretch’s whimpered praises gave that impression.

When Edge crawled back up the length of his limp body, wiping his mouth carelessly on his sleeve, Stretch only barely managed a drowsy kiss at first. He roused a little soon enough, hands sliding down Edge’s rib cage.

“let me—" Edge didn’t stop Stretch from pressing a hand between his own legs, watched him frown at what he found. Well, Stretch wasn’t the only one who’d thought it was a very good ten minutes.

It did mean that was Edge was going to end up doing laundry before bed, and it was a good thing magic didn’t leave permanent stains. But it also meant Stretch wouldn’t have to exhaust himself further trying to reciprocate.

“like going down on me that much?” Stretch asked impishly.

“Yes,” Edge told him honestly. The proof was obvious and still damp.

It made a blush rise in Stretch’s face, dusting his cheekbones. That soft orange was lovely, unlike the darker stains beneath his sockets. Stretch didn’t flinch when Edge cupped his face and rubbed a thumb over those shadows, but he did sigh, relenting.

“okay, okay,” Stretch grumbled. “listen, maybe you’re right, i am pretty tired. i’ll head up to bed and you can wander up whenever you want, yeah?”

Edge rolled off him and to his feet, holding out a hand to help Stretch to his. “Do you want me to tuck you in?”

Stretch clasped his hands to his face and batted his non-existent eyelashes. “aw, would you, mama bear? read me a story, get me a glass of water—"

“Spank your ass.”

“kinky. yeah, if you wanna cuddle in the afterglow a little bit, you can come up.”

Stretch started upstairs, blowing him a kiss from the landing and he only waiting long enough for Edge to pretend to catch it before turning away. He didn’t see the way Edge pressed his hand to his mouth, adding his own kiss.

Edge didn’t care. The act wasn’t only for his husband’s benefit.

He did take a moment to clear away the dinner dishes, pausing at the linen closet to pull out an extra blanket in case Stretch was feeling colder than usual.

He passed the coffee table on his way up and paused. The little paper rabbit was sitting on top of the paperwork, poised for another leap amidst the multi-colored scrawls.

Edge picked it up and tucked it into his pocket before following Stretch up. It wouldn’t take him long to fall asleep, Edge hoped, and Edge could stay a while and make sure he was settled.

His love needed his rest.

-finis-

[i-amusemyself]

All the stationary.

Ahhhh ty!!! I can’t tell if you wanna know that much bc you gaf or not though.....

Paranoia aside imma overshare either way!! *finger guns*

gel pen: when are you most comfortable?

I mean, I have anxiety so that just doesn’t happen much lmao! My first thought though was when I visit my favourite place, a little corner of a field with amazing views where I’m always on my own. I love it there.

ballpoint pen: tell me about the day you’ve just had

The day I’ve had was hell, so I’d rather relive yesterday.

Yesterday I woke up and binge watched supernatural; actually remembered to eat for once then was actually motivated enough to do revision. I got into hysterics over a tumblr post so quickly decided it was a day I should be avoiding hella emotional stuff....10 minutes later I was watching the last ever episode of prison break and sobbing uncontrollably at every word. In the afternoon I went out but not before losing my phone which was exactly where I left it. By that point though I was so late I had to speed walk at least 2 miles to the next village, where of course my friend arrived flanked by two pretty decent looking guys. I honestly looked like a tomato with water retention issues at that point so I’m sure that was a fabulous first impression. Then we got over to our revision session at the library early so went to the pub instead which was a dream; didn’t get any alcohol though because you can’t revise biology while hammered. Believe me. Then I stayed up late enough to get my ass whooped last night but it was so worth it because even though it turned into some sort of snapchat contest, I was laughing my ass off the whole time it was amazing. 

That enough of a day for you?fineliner: what’s your greatest achievement?

I used to train with the england basketball team, and I played for East Midlands. That was a pretty cool experience.highlighter: what are your best qualities?

Jfc, plural? Idk! I’m pretty motivated? And I always make an effort to tell the truth (if its good, otherwise I keep my mouth shut).

greylead: what is something you want to try for the first time?

Being attractive. Being loved. Need I go on? Oh and also giant zip-lining.felt-tip: describe your aesthetic

My bedroom looks like an ikea showroom lmfaooo so whatever that is. Weird architecture and cacti and random objects in neat little storage places.

But equally like, overgrown graveyards mixed with roses and anything black. Depends on my mood.crayon: your earliest childhood memory

Treading on a bee and having to have the sting removed from my foot lmao

scrapbook: something from your childhood that makes you smile

............um??

Okay there was this one time we found an old camera in the loft. I must’ve been 3 since my dad was still there. Anyway we all went out in the garden and it was such a normal little family thing, but it’s the only time I ever remember that happening. It’s got my parents waving and looking happy and me sticking my head out from inside a little wendy house grinning and it’s so cute. It’s the sort of thing I wish I’d had more of.

sketching pad: describe yourself from a stranger’s point of view

A lanky thing approaches. It has a stereotypical lesbian haircut, bad eyesight and appears to have given up on all things fashionable. It’s shy and awkward, so makes you feel extremely uncomfortable too. It appears to be reasonably friendly, but occasionally says things that don’t make a single bit of sense before desperately looking around the room looking for more small talk inspiration. You’re overall impression is it’s a pretty boring human being, probably totally harmless, but would be incredibly easy to replace.notebook: what’s your favourite quote?

I have a couple of little quotes I remind myself of on a daily basis, ranging from song lyrics; “darling you’ll be okay” and “the sun will rise and we will try again” to “pick your fights” and “you gotta give a bit of yourself to get something in return”. I kinda live my life by those.paper: what kind of book would you write?

I have absolutely no idea! I can’t see myself ever having the motivation to write a book.stapler: out of all the people you know, who do you think you are closest to?

My best friend @only-slightly-dangerous who literally knows me so well it’s scary! She can literally message me out of knowhere and know from 3000 miles away if I’m in pain.glue stick: what do you look for in a lasting relationship/friendship?

I can’t be dealing with people that lie or are fake or whatever. So definitely honesty. Also people just being themselves and not being afraid to be weird or whatever, because that’s when I relax a bit lmao! I guess a decent sense of humor too? And someone that doesn’t mind you asking questions or whatever. Idk. Sometimes you just click with people without being about to put it down to a specific characteristic.tape: tell me about your longest friendship

It wasn’t very long. 

I mean I had “friendships” through all of primary school but that doesn’t really feel like it counts. Secondary school? The first girl I made friends with and was really close to for 5 years is now like,,, someone I honestly can’t even stand to hear about soooruler: what line will you never cross?

I could never cheat. eraser: what do you consider to be your biggest mistake?

I’m not sure. Maybe not standing up for myself more at school and at home. There have been occasions where it would have been totally reasonable but I just shut up and let shit happen so I’ve spent a lot of time beating myself up about that stuff.

Also, and I know I shouldn’t but, I still spend a lot of time thinking about a boy at our school who killed himself and I never knew him but I still wonder if I could have done anything.scissors: ever had a bad break-up?

Nothing hella nasty but I don’t really talk to any of my ex’s at all.calculator: list fifteen things that make you happy

Lmaooo I’ll do my best!! Okay so music; concerts; friends; seeing other people laughing; making people laugh; stand up comedy; hella good art; hearing people tell stories; sitting and listening in the middle of knowhere; thunderstorms; exploring; helping people; good food; the sound of rain on the roof; cuddling and tumblr.protractor: an unpopular opinion/angle you have on an issue

Pinapple is good on pizza.sticky note: something about yourself you’d like to change

I feel like I have no personality so like,,,I wish that could be better. I wish I was pretty. Or attractive or whatever. Oh and I wish I could sing those hella high notes because I feel sorry for the neighbours atm.stamp: a date that’s special for you and why

25th March because that’s the day my life changed just enough for me to carry on.bookmark: a book that means a lot to you and why

I always just say Numbers, but honestly it was the first ever book I cried at and I feel like it helped me understand the world a little more.folder: describe your family

How long do you have? I mean, it’s quite a small family but I’m not that close to any of them. Most of them are just pretty conservative living in little nuclear families. I didn’t used to get on too well with my dad but we’ve got a lot closer. I still don’t get on with my mum very well though bc she’s abusive. welp. whiteboard: tell me your plans for tomorrow

I’m gonna die a slow, painful death by revision and then recover when I go to my dad’s and walk Borris.blackboard: tell me about a memory that has affected who you are today

All those memories are locked away in a place I can’t get to and I think it’s best to keep it that way for now.

A low key one is probably when a friend once told me nobody cared about me or what I had to say and I’ve basically been mute in most social situations since XDpinboard: what are you focusing on in your life right now?

Exams. A level exams. Just one more month and I’m freeeee!!!tablet: tell me your plans for the future

Start a fresh life at uni and get this degree. Then who knows? I’ll probably go and get another degree and I’m pretty sure I’ll end up doing medicine.stencil: who are your role models?

I don’t have very many. Kaitlyn Alexander for sure, because they really helped me understand who I am and start to accept it. Also Luke Cutforth because I love his YouTube channel but also a lot of things he’s done related to mental health have been helpful and I relate a lot.envelope: tell me a secret

I’m going to my end of year prom in a shirt and tie and I haven’t told anyone yet and I’m scared shitless. I’m still gonna do it though!!