#WeddingNightChaos

[wherechaoswins]

🎀 Lacy (The Newlywed’s Bra) enters the lingerie drawer, exhausted but glowing.

💃 Lacy: “Oh. My. GOD. I don’t know if I should be flattered or file a complaint! I got manhandled all day! 🍑🔥”

👵 Granny Belle: “Pfft. Young bras these days. No stamina! Back in my day, I held up the world without whining. 🏋️‍♀️”

💃 Lacy: “Honey, I held up two whole melons today, and trust me, they were not stationary. 🍈🍈 I was pushed, pulled, squeezed—OH, and let’s not forget the teeth! 😳”

👵 Granny Belle: “Teeth?! Child, what kind of barbarian is she married to?! My last action was a bingo hall hug in 2012! 🤦‍♀️”

💃 Lacy: “Oh, Belle… You wouldn’t believe it. We barely made it past breakfast before he was tugging at me like a kid opening Christmas presents. 🎁🔥”

👵 Granny Belle: “Lawd have mercy! What happened?”

💃 Lacy: “First, the ‘oh-let’s-get-dressed’ struggle. She wiggles, I hold on for dear life. Then BOOM—he walks in, gives her that look, and next thing I know, I’m flung to the floor like yesterday’s news! 🌀”

👵 Granny Belle: “Dropped on the FLOOR?! Disrespectful! I’d sue for emotional distress. I may be old, but I still deserve a respectful place to rest! 🛏️”

💃 Lacy: “Girl, you don’t even KNOW. Just when I thought I’d get a break, she picks me up, puts me back on, and we go out to lunch. I’m thinking, ‘Okay, finally some peace’—but NOPE. Every time he looked at her, she… shifted. 😏”

👵 Granny Belle: “Ahh, the classic boob shift. You young ones don’t know how to stay in place! My generation? We strapped those babies in like cargo on a turbulence-heavy flight. ✈️”

💃 Lacy: “Oh, trust me, I tried! But after round three of getting shoved down, pushed up, and pulled off, I gave up. My straps are practically traumatized. 😵”

👵 Granny Belle: “Sounds like you got more action than she did. 😂”

💃 Lacy: “That’s not even the best part. After the reception, when she changed into that dress—oh, you know the one. The plunging, backless, ‘hold-on-for-dear-life’ dress? 😏”

👵 Granny Belle: “Ohhh, honey. The Gravity-Defier™?”

💃 Lacy: “YUP. And guess who got left BEHIND for the afterparty? ME! She went braless! Like, what was all our time together even for?! 😭”

👵 Granny Belle: “Betrayal. Absolute betrayal. You should unionize.”

💃 Lacy: “RIGHT?! And THEN, when they finally made it back home, I thought maybe she’d want me for some light support, you know, post-wedding chill mode? Nope. Instead, I get shoved in a drawer while he gets FULL ACCESS. 😡”

👵 Granny Belle: “Men. Always skipping past the fine craftsmanship and going straight for the goods. No appreciation for structural integrity. 🙄”

💃 Lacy: “EXACTLY. I have lace detailing. Hand-stitched embroidery. And I still get tossed aside like some cheap sports bra!”

👵 Granny Belle: “Sports bras do get the worst of it. Poor things. They work harder than a 9-to-5 employee in a toxic job. 😔”

💃 Lacy: “And they don’t even get taken out for cute occasions! Just sweat, exhaustion, and regret. 😭”

👵 Granny Belle: “Well, at least you still get action. Me? I sit in this drawer day after day, just waiting. I used to hold up things too, you know. Now I’m just here, sagging into oblivion, dreaming of the past. 😔”

💃 Lacy: “Oh Belle, don’t be sad! You’re still legendary. You paved the way for bras like me. Without you, there’d be no sexy lingerie—just corsets and suffering. 🫶”

👵 Granny Belle: “Hmm. That’s true. I walked so you could… get tossed across the room by a horny newlywed. 😂”

💃 Lacy: “Yup. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. 😘”

👵 Granny Belle: “Go get some rest, honey. You’re gonna need it. Sounds like you’ll be busy tomorrow too. 😏”

💃 Lacy: “Ugh, tell me about it. Maybe I’ll pretend to have a strap malfunction just to get a day off. 😈”

👵 Granny Belle: “Now that’s a plan I can respect. Goodnight, you scandalous little thing. 😘”

💃 Lacy: “Night, Belle! ❤️”