#We're experimenting with styles tonight boys!

[casquecest]

'Harry . . . I as good as killed them.[...] I'm to blame, I know it . . .'

[floshav]

more rodrick PLSSSSS it can be anything

omg this is my first req ever and im so excited thank you!!

you wanted more Rodrick well here's more Rodrick.

part 2 out now!!

summary: Rodricks your best friend but thats not enough for you. As much as you hate to admit, you like the boy. That's why you show up drunk and high at one of his infamous house parties after he'd ranted to you about how he was so so in love with Heather Hills.

warnings: angst, heartache, kissing, Heather Hills, pining, weed, alcohol, crying, one sided love kinda, self hate

wc: 1k+

"She was so pretty."

"Oh yea?"

"No. I dont think you understand, like the way her hair smelled when she strut past me, the smell of..... smell of something light. Fresh! Pink even."

Rodrick practically had stars in his eyes when he described how his crush was at school. You'd be ecstatic if the crush was you, but the world is cruel so here you were talking about Heather Hills for the last hour or so.

"Y'know... I heard she spat on Louise last week. Poor kid, was dosed in her icky saliva for the whole day." Y/n was selfish but she tried to paint Heather in a bad light.

"Shit i'd pay good money for her to spit on me."

Well that backfired she thought.

"Freak" Y/n lightly laughed as she fell back onto Rodricks soft bed. Chest heaving up and down whilst her mind felt clouded.

"What can I say, love makes anyone a freak."

There was that word again. Love. How could he be bloody in love with little miss Heather Hills. The queen of highschool. The perfect girl. Pretty blondie. Pretty face. Y/n quickly began to realise there were plenty of reasons for Rodrick to crush on her. Y/n was a nobody. She thought her face ugly, her style wack, her eyes too uneven. She hated, hated, hated herself and wished she looked like Heather.

"Oh. My. God. I just had the best fucking idea" Rodrick exclaimed with the dorkiest smile he could produce, each fine line below the thickness of his eyebrows seen under the dim lighting of his room.

"Hmm?" Y/n buzzed as she basked in the coolness of his sheets

"M'gonna throw a party" "Heather would definitely come, i mean its one of my parties we're talking about."

Flashbacks to Rodrick's last party hit y/n's head like a train when she remembered how chaotic and horrible the experience was. Drunk teens shouting and chugging unknown beverages, shoulders brushing against shoulders constantly as she tried to find a room she could breath in without having to see another damn couple absolutely devouring eachother. Each and every minuscule second she'd spent in that house made her want to puke. The sight that made her want to puke the most was Rodrick's clearly drunk self throwing himself onto Heather, eyes sparkly with hope whilst she just sat there smiling so sweetly it was sickening.

Quickly she was sent back to reality.

"D'you think that's a good idea?" she questioned, tired.

"Course it is! she always comes to my things"

"Kay' whatever you think is gonna earn you your little dream girl specimen."

"Trust me, this times different." That's what he always said.

--------------------------------------

It's ok. It's ok. I-It's.... it's gonna be fine. she told herself as she admired the makeup she'd put on for tonight's occasion, she'd tried to copy one of Heathers famous looks, but quickly realised it didn't suit her skin so she stuck to her usual and hated herself for it. It was dreadfully the day of his party. The day that she'd have to witness him openly flirt with Heather just because he had an excuse to down a dozen bottles of cheap booze. She swiped a smear of lipstick that somehow ended up below her lip and sighed as she adjusted her shirt. Why do you always give in? Just confess you idiot. No! what the fuck am i thinking. she scrunched her nose and took a deep breath in, abusing her vanity with the pressure from the pads of her fingers.

She really really didn't want to go. She couldn't bare seeing Heather show up with her annoyingly perfect face, her perfect nose, her perfect hair, her stupidly sweet personality that everyone gaped over. Fuck it. She hated herself and wanted to forget that Rodrick even existed.

She found her not so hidden stash of weed she'd carelessly left under a pile of worksheets from her chemistry class, something ionic bonding. She didn't know how long it'd sat there for but it stained the ziplock bag a dull yellow. The bag was crinkled and smelled like the thought of Rodrick. Whenever she was upset or mad at Rodrick she'd smoke weed to drown the thoughts out but she slowly realised it was ruining the drug as a whole for her.

She rolled a joint in a random piece of paper she'd found thrown on her floor and lit up the end, taking a deep whiff of it, smile playing on her lips.

-----------------------------

"Animals.....Elephants....Tiguurrrsssss!" She slurred as she laid flat on her disheveled bed scrunching the sheets as her eyes formed stars around her ceiling. She got up abruptly, hair a mess and rubbed her eyes deepening the pressure with every second. "Rrrr... What time? Uggggh" She sighed as she reached for her phone. Her room was cloudy and smelled of green. Beside her were a few empty glasses so she took a sniff, curious. Happy juice? No, Vodka she thought. She saw the emptied out bottle of cheap convenience store alcohol by the side of her feet a long with the yellowed bag of weed which was empty. it'd been around 2 hours since she blacked out on her bed somehow thinking about how her fan looked like the shape of animals. Shit, fuck, ass, asshole! she muttered under her breath as she plopped back down.

"Why not? What's thurrr worst that could happennn?" she mumbled eyes fluttering as she picked up her bag and stumbled out her window, careful not to wake anyone. She took the route down the tree that always worked for her but in a clumsy fashion as she fumbled down the hard branches of her overgrown escape buddy. Craaack, Creeeeak. The continuous sounds made her annoyed. "Uggggfh can't everyone just shut up!!"

--------------------------------------

There she was. Standing dumb, drunk and high in front of the booming house lit up by warm yellow light. She could already smell the familiar smell of cheap alcohol, body odour and weed. My kind of night she thought as she barely made her way to the entrance. There were already people outside partying like no tomorrow as some flipped their hair to some overplayed hip hop song that everyone knew. While some were more restricted, sipping on booze as they giggled with their friends. The true highschool experience y/n thought.

Bump.

"Hey! Watch it-"

"Y/n?"

It was someone with beautiful waves of blonde still visible from her clouded vision, pretty makeup and a perfect body. Heather.

"O-Oh hey Heather! Pretty little Heather Hills." Y/n slurred as her vision was still blurred

"Uhm... Y'alright?" She questioned looking back at her friends as if y/n was cuckoo.

"No. No. No. No! Y-you. You. You and your stupidly perfect self can go to hell!" y/n lashed out

"W-what? Y/n what the fuck is wrong with you?" Heather said clearly freaked out by the sudden aggression.

Tears started to cloud y/n's vision so she took in a deeeeep breath trying to suck in as much oxygen as she could.

"Fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you! You- You're all he wants. Heather, heather, heather! My perfect little heather with her pretty little face!" Y/n cried out as her knees began to weaken. She had no sense of shame, embarrassment or anxiety. She was too blacked out for this. So blacked out she just blurted her deepest darkest thoughts.

A crowd began to form around them, some curious at the sudden shouting girl who was crumbling a part, vulnerable in front of some people she didn't even know the names of.

"W-what? What are you even saying y/n." Heather said confused and disturbed as she began to back away.

Warmth began to spread at the small of y/n's back. Rodricks hand.

"Y/n? Why the fuck are you screaming?- Y/n s-shit you're not alright." Rodrick hastily slung y/n's arm around his shoulder careful with her as if she was a piece of fine china.

"S-sorry bout' that Heaths, trust me she doesn't mean anything she's saying" Rodrick stutters clearly not drunk enough, nervous as he realises that Heather is clearly agitated.

"Y-yea. It's okay Rodrick. It's not your fault, just get her far from here kay?" Heather said with sympathy and those stupid doe eyes whilst placing a hand on his shoulder. This should've made him tremble with pleasure, but the fact that she'd talked about y/n as if she was a monster made him angry.

"Yea. Yea alright." Rodrick scoffed, lightly rolling his eyes before dragging y/n's blacked out figure up his carpeted staircase, the carpet grazing her knees creating a friction which burned satisfyingly on her kneecaps.

"Fuuuck. Fuck..." Y/n softly mumbled, head tilting to the side of his shoulder as he firmed his grip on the side of her shoulder. Shoulders.... shoulders are for friends, real girls get hands put on their waist. Not shoulders. She managed to conjure the thought in her hazed mind.

He struggled to open his door as y/n's body weight pressed into the side of him as he suddenly heard silent weeps of sorrow erupt from her lips.

He set her on the foot of his bed, careful not to drop her anywhere harsh.

"Y/n? Y/n what's wrong, you're like black out drunk." He asked now bending down with both hands on his knees.

He slowly caresses his hand over the hill of her cheekbone and shoves a fly of hair away from her puffy eyes.

"You....i... Im sick of you and- and her." She sighs as a hysterical tear falls from her eye. Her face was the saddest Rodrick had ever seen and this broke his heart.

"Me and... me and who y/n?" He said so softly as he began to crouch so so close to her, his eyes looking up into hers with genuine curiosity and care. The mention of her name fluttered her heart.

"Heather" She breathed out involuntarily sniffling.

"You don't like me talking about her?" He slowly asked as if all the dots were finally clicking together.

"That's a stupid question." He lowly chuckled as he swiped his thumb under the pad of her eyes.

"I.. I really- I really"

"You really what?" He said again so so softly

"I really like you." She blurted before she felt that familiar rush of heat rapture her face.

Rodrick's eyes glance down to her swollen lips and he feels a strong ache pill at his heart. His best friend just confessed about her underlaying fondness of him and he'd been an ass talking about Heather all the time. He imagined how bad it must've sucked all the damn time.

"I-I'm so sorry I- I always talked about her."

"No! don't fucking be sorry you idiotttt." She slurred

"You- You don't owe me anything." She smiled softly as she fluffed up his hair.

"Maybe..." This is wrong he thought

"Maybe i do owe you an apology." He said slow and steady as he glanced down to her lips and locked with it for the final time.

He slowly moved in to plant a soft kiss on her puffy lips and her eyes widened in surprise.

The kiss felt like heaven and she tasted like everything he was used to. A hint of cherry chapstick, a lot of weed and something coconut. His lips felt so soft against hers and she breathed in every second of the experience. She almost wanted to whine when he pulled away.

"I- Fuck."

Y/n's euphoric high was quickly ruined at the notice of him clearly regretting his decision.

"No- It's fine Rodrick. I get it, it was just a in the moment thing." She sighed as she put both her hands to her face rubbing her cheeks and eyes as if she was trying to rid off the pain in her heart.

"No, no, no! it's not that."

"I just..."

"Fuck it." He went in for another kiss.

--------------------------(end)

thank u for the request!! i hope this was enough to satisfy ur rodrick need lol, if u ever want a smutty end to this lmk but yarrrrr

[pandorasword]

Chaeri as the 8th and youngest member of BTS.

Chaeri's masterlist

❒ Reading order: 1. Chaeri's recovery | 2. Calvin Klein with Jk | 3. HS concert

❒ genre: Angst

❒ words: 2.5k+

❒ summary: In which Harry Styles' post-concert doesn't go as planned for Chaeri, as Jungkook has something to tell her

❒ warnings: swearing; heated argument;

❒ pairing: Jungkook x 8thmember!OC

❒ notes: I'd have much to say about what I wrote. First of all, it was very difficult. Chaeri has this very annoying way about her in which she uses anger to hide other emotions, and I did not find it easy to write. Usually I don't expose myself much, for those who read my blog know that I didn't plan yet an ending of this story, but I think Jungkook is not in the wrong this time. Chaeri has sent him some unclear signals, plus she has completely distanced herself from him. In one way I understand his point of view.

Credits to media owners!

March 20, 2023

Chaeri bubbled with joy as she left the concert arena, greeting fans on her way out.

Concerts always put her in a cheerful mood, especially when it was Harry Styles performing, and having the chance to meet him backstage had made it an even better experience. For two hours, she felt like a normal friend hanging out with Yoongi and Namjoon rather than a celebrity herself.

When the concert paused halfway, Taehyung, who was nearby with Jungkook and a friend of theirs, asked her to tag along for a bite after the show. She accepted the offer, knowing that Yoongi and Namjoon would head home straight away once it was all over.

Though it didn't take her long to catch up with the two guys, she had to wait for the personnel managing the event to have most of the onlookers removed and organized so that all the celebrities could leave without being mobbed.

Chaeri waved to both of them as she drew near, her face aching from the long smile it had been wearing since the night started. "It was stunning" she exclaimed.

Wrapping Taehyung in an all-encompassing hug, she beamed with happiness "Harry was so nice to agree to take a picture only with me! I can't believe it's already finished"

She diverted her attention from Taehyung to give Jungkook a warm welcome too.

Harry Styles had put her in such a great mood, she wasn't going to let the bad vibes from their last encounter while on the set of the Calvin Klein photoshoot ruin her night.

So, she gave him a hug, albeit briefer than Taehyung, and then touched his arm gently, asking "Did you have a good time?"

Jungkook nodded, his voice muffled by the mask he had not yet taken off his face. "Yes," he said "there's not many who can put on a show quite like Harry Styles"

Chaeri gave his arm an affectionate pat in reply to his comment. "Well said!"

"Did she just turned in fangirl mode?" Taehyung teased her playfully, and she stuck out her tongue in response.

"Aren't we all a bit of a fangirl for him?"

Once they were in the car and out of sight, Tae maneuvered himself from the backseat to the front, taking care to not bump into them with his long legs. He then took a seat next to the driver

"What the hell are you doing?" Chaeri inquired, avoiding the near-miss of a kick that the boy almost gave her as he scrambled to get into the front seat

Taehyung leaned back in his chair and breathed a sigh of relief, pleased with himself for achieving the task. He spun around to face the two people he had just brought together. "I'm giving you both the chance to clear the air."

"What? There's nothing to talk about"

"Stop it," Taehyung replied sternly to her. "Every time we're all together, it's incredibly awkward because of you two. I don't know how you avoided it tonight. This has to end. Make peace."

With those words, he shut the divider between the back and front seats of the car, providing them with some privacy.

Chaeri had her mouth slightly open in amazement and was beginning to get nervous. She also knew that the broken rapport between her and Jungkook was a source of stress for the whole group, yet was that really the night and was that really the way to discuss it?

Jungkook shifted in his seat, his gaze fixed on Chaeri. "I'm sorry," he said "Don't take it out on him, I was the one who asked him to tell you to come in the car with us and give us some privacy. I needed to talk to you"

"I really can't believe you two pulled me into this little game"

Taehyung's words echoed through the divider, making Chaeri jump. "No one is playing games," he had his gaze focused on her reflected eyes in the driving mirror "You two have been avoiding each other for weeks, and it's not healthy for the group dynamic. Clear the air, talk it out."

She tapped her knuckles against the divider and asked, "Don't you remember you said we'd have some privacy?"

"My apologies," he replied. The boy in the front seat had now tucked his head down, out of sight. He was trying to be invisible.

Jungkook glanced down at his hands, where an array of silver rings glinted in the light. His fingers nervously twisted them around and around as he spoke, his gaze fixated on the shining metal "Before anything else," he began, "I want to apologize for what happened last time. I should have respected your boundaries... But I don't regret saying what I said." 

A heavy silence filled the air as she stared at him, her lips parting slightly before closing again. After a long pause, she finally muttered "Jungkook, please. Let's not talk about this again” 

The car had been driving for several minutes, thus taking away any hope of escape from that conversation she did not want to face. She made a mental note to kill Taehyung once that day was over.

"No,I refuse to delay this conversation any longer”

Well, from better to better.

Crossing her arms, she turned away from him, her lips pressed into a thin line. "I'm not going to hear what you have to say” she had to warm her voice first, to make it come out as if she didn't care what he had to say to her

Jungkook's emotions were now clear on his face: lips slightly pursed, eyes narrowed, and a jaw clenched tight in an effort to stay composed.

Damn stubborn girl

It typically took a lot to shake him up, anger or irritate him in any way. He was used to having his patience pushed by disrespectful people, and he considered himself quite logical and thoughtful. But it took all the willpower in him to utter the right words without starting an argument; that was the goal, after all - discussing without fighting.

He paused and took in a breath before continuing "Remember when you promised that you'd always hear me out? Has that changed too since then? What is left of us? I'm not talking about our..relationship. But of who we were for each other before all this”

Chaeri's stomach was in knots. She had been dreading this conversation for weeks and didn't want it to take place with an audience. Taehyung must have sensed her apprehension, as he cranked up the volume of the car radio. A song by Harry Styles came on - what a strange coincidence.

"I remember," The memory of them sitting on the steps of the old BigHit's building, much less tall than now- or at least Jungkook -, came vividly to her mind, along with the promise they had made each other to always remain close. It felt like a lifetime had gone by since then. ”But things have changed. We can't go back to the way things were before” Uttering those words felt like an inferno in her throat. She never wanted to say them aloud, yet there they were, hanging heavily in the air.

Jungkook felt something break inside his mind at the sound of those words, wishing he had been able to keep his composure and not let his anger get the better of him.

"You don't even try! You avoid me like a plague! You were already distancing yourself from me before the accident, and now it's worse. When we were living together in the dorms while you were healing, though, it was almost like things were back to normal; like my Chaeri had returned. At least my friend" 

"Why won't you understand that we can never be fucking friends!” Her voice grew louder than she anticipated. It was her fury that prevented her from forming the words in her head before they came out of her mouth.

Jungkook's jaw dropped as his eyes widened in shock. He felt the tell-tale thumping of an accelerated pulse against his ribs, as if it was trying to escape his chest

"I will always care about you, no matter what happens. You'll always be family to me, but I can't be friends with you anymore - that's all there is to it”

Chaeri's voice was firm and unwavering but her eyes are were filled with sadness and her lips quivered slightly as she spoke. Her hands clasped together tightly in her lap, her knuckles white from the strain.

"That's all there is to it!? Are you fucking serious?"

Jungkook's voice had risen, the intensity of his emotions coloring his words.

They were both going too far with their words, causing pain to one another.

Taehyung quickly turned down the volume of the radio, sensing the tension in the car. He had hoped for a peaceful resolution, but it seemed like things were only escalating.

"Listen," he interjected, trying to diffuse the situation. "I think it's best if we all calm down. Emotions are running high right now, and we're not going to get anywhere like this."

Chaeri ignored him completely but leaned over to inform the driver to stop because she wanted to get out

"Is that how you want to solve the problem? By getting out of the car?” Jungkook was incredulous

"I don't want to hear from any of you anymore" Chaeri spat back

"We're on the highway Chaeri, where the fuck do you think you're getting off"

"At a goddamn truck stop, can I pee in peace for fuck's sake?" 

Jungkook observed as she opened the vehicle's door and stepped onto the shoulder of the highway once the car had come to a halt. Her form was tiny and vulnerable in the darkness, and he felt an overwhelming urge to go after her.

"I'm gonna go talk to her" he said to Taehyung, who nodded in agreement and stopped the driver who was about to get out of the car to follow both of them

"Chaeri! Just stop for a second”

Chaeri’s small frame and her strides cast a determined silhouette in the night. Her blond hair swished around her shoulders and fluttered in the wind as she continued walking, unfazed by Jungkook's pleas.

"No, you know what I'm going to do? I'll head into that store, use the restroom, and then enjoy the dinner you said you'd buy me - by myself."

"Why are you so stubborn?!" His voice rose in frustration

Chaeri stopped mid-stride and spun around, her face flushing bright red with anger. She glowered at him, "You used to appreciate my stubbornness!"

Jungkook’s eyes were focused yet there was a hint of exhaustion around the edges. The light from the passing cars illuminated the determination on his face "I still do," he said. "But not when it's at the expense of us" 

She drew closer to him, her heart pounding in her chest. She cleared her throat and spoke quietly, “Us? You say it as if we were still an 'us'”

Was she really taking out on him all the bitterness she felt toward her own agency for what it had put her through? As soon as the fog of her fury cleared, she knew she'd regret how she was treating him. But in that moment, it was still overshadowed by her blazing anger.

"And you say this as if it was up to me!" Jungkook's voice was rising with frustration, he cast a furtive glance around the empty parking lot of the truck stop, double-checking that no one was within earshot. "I could not decide anything about this relationship. I know I said that we had to move on, I remember the night I said that.. But I ... I can't stand it. I tried, but I can't"

Jungkook took a step closer to her, his hands outstretched as if to pull her into an embrace. "I don't want to move on," he whispered, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don't want to let go of what we had"

Chaeri backed away, her eyes fixed on the tips of her shoes as she hugged herself tightly to keep out the chill and contain what she was feeling; whether it be was positive or negative 

"Whenever we're together, it seems to bring out the worst in us" 

The umpteenth realization that she gave the worst of herself every time she was with him made her sick. 

BigHit had been their downfall since they were first caught together - one continuous downward spiral until the crash in 2022. 

"It's like gasoline and fire; we bring out the worst in each other" She repeated at the end.

Jungkook took a step back, his hands falling to his sides. He understood what Chaeri was saying; since the break up they had been like a time bomb when they were together, ready to go off at any moment.

"It was not our fault" 

"I know, but it still happened. It didn't...work. We tried. We thought we could do it but in the end they won” She tried her best to keep her voice emotionless

"If I didn't know you-if I didn't know you, your indifference would make me think you never loved me!" Jungkook his voice hoarse with emotion

"Don't you dare say anything like that!" Chaeri's voice wavered, and she fought back tears. She took a step closer to him, looking up into his eyes "You know that's not true! "

"I don't understand why you're so determined to push me away" Jungkook said, his voice shaking. "I'll get over it if you.. love someone else now, but I cannot bear the thought of losing you as someone in my life" Those words on the tongue tasted like poison.

"We cannot be friends. Not the way we have been" she said, her gaze lowered to the ground, understanding this was the best decision for both of them.

"Why not!?"

"Because our love consumed me! Because every fucking time I see you, it feels like I'm stuck in the past. Every time I'm with you, you fucking idiot, I question myself about-" she couldn't dare to finish the sentence.

The tears that streamed down her face as she spoke were like a raging river, unstoppable. Her hands trembled and her voice was ragged, yet full of passion and emotion. He watched her with remorse, knowing he shared in the blame for the way things had disintegrated around them. She continued to scream out her frustrations, her words echoing off in the empty park

She sniffled and wiped her wet cheeks with one hand "The time spent together while I was recovering from my injury made me realize that it's best for us to keep some distance"

"Is it better because you don't have to deal with your feelings that way?"

Their faces were suddenly illuminated by dazzling lights, causing them to look as white as ghosts. Abruptly, they both turned in the same direction and noticed a pair of paparazzi - the distance too far to hear their conversation luckily -

"Fuck.."

taglist: @alixnsuperstxr | @ycuvi | @bts-dream

[iantimony]

BIG tuesday

i skipped last tuesday because i was working on a take-home exam and simply did not have the time nor the inclination, so: beefy tuesdaypost today!

listening: my brother recommended 'dead magic' by anna von hausswolff and boy what an album. gothic, punchy, very vibey. the kind of album you let wash over you like an ocean wave.

pulled 'mostly kosher' from my to-listen list. fun, funky, very jewish, good vibes. ikh hob dikh tsufil lib

i've continued to mainline borodin symphonies 1 & 2. idk they're just hitting right.

and the new pieces for the orchestra i'm in - very french this time round: debussy's fêtes: kinda spooky and ominous and also fluid in a fun way! lots of buildup that seems to resolve into nothingness. horn parts for this are pretty good, not too difficult but are definitely Heard. chabrier's españa: really bumpin horn parts. fun bouncy motifs. what's not to like.

pocasting-wise, i'm up to partizan 38. 10 episodes left!!! the home stretch!!!!! it's so good but things are definitely amping up in the end-of-fatt-season way.

i've also listened to my friend b's gotham tv show podcast 'jim gordon must die'. very good and funny. i laughed out loud at some of the episode 3 descriptions.

reading: i was stuck in Bad Airport Times this past saturday (flight delayed 3 hours, then sat for an hour on the tarmac, arrived at 10pm when i was originally supposed to arrive at like 630) so i blasted through all ~150k words of 'freefall' by Kunoichi21 and xoTsundoku. bog-standard mafia au, but with a fun little circus arts twist; fun background fengqing; i do not like that they made beefleaf wholesome. give me my toxic beefleaf god damn it. but otherwise it was a fun read, sappy romcom-style. the fic itself isn't quite done but it's in endgame. the author notes have peak fanfic culture energy of "hey guys! sorry i didn't update, i started nursing school and my dad died" bro .... ;___; goddamn. please take care of urselves

watching: we are almost done with kill la kill! last two eps!!! so tonight we're doing that and also watching last week's dunmeshi together.

friend and i finished comrade detective. incredible. no notes. so funny. we started 'endeavour' which is a detective morse prequel thing and goddd the british-isms, and also started serial experiments lain. i don't know what i was expecting but god it was not this. i literally thought this was a cute fun hacker mystery show in the energy of cowboy bebop. it is Not That. not even close. it's good though i'm enjoying it. currently staggering through life going uhhhhh like lain does in the first few eps.

playing: fallow. i am re-installing disco elysium on my computer though. ive been wondering if i should try to keep going on the save file from last year or if i should just start over because i barely got in there at all.

making: many things. pottery!! some good some not as good.

so this design came out SO nice but the underglaze is so gd streaky! i hate it !!! i don't think it's really fixable either, i tried the hairspray trick to put new solid glaze over top the inside so at least that would look less like shit but i could not get it to work. maybe sanding it down? idk. it's ugly. it was supposed to be a bright teal but the woman who runs the studio mixed the batch up wrong so it's like. a really drab gray and not in a fun or intentional way. idk.

some new bisque:

teacups came out! still mismatched but cute nonetheless! gonna do them in a sort of celadon-type color with white flowers to match the teapot that my SO has :)

i don't feel like adding more photos for these lol they're very boring. the pot for my mom came out fine i think. gonna go in with normal white glaze over top to paint in some trees or other botanical designs. i sponged the underglaze on so hopefully the final result won't be streaky. sponged red on my seder plate to hopefully accomplish the same thing. mugs came through the bisque with no issues but i didn't do anything fun with underglaze on one of them so no new pics of that, but the other i did this tree thing again:

i KNOW it'll be streaky as hell. i just know. so i'm considering how i want to do it. perhaps putting some slightly transparent green over the top of it all to meld it together? unsure.

some new stuff: made a citrus juicer, this was attempt number 2 and just barely got it to work, attempt 1 was a total disaster. also made another mug type object, hopefully it'll still be wet enough this weekend to slap a handle on.

two mugs with red clay, i really loved the lascaux mugs that jessica bartram put up for sale last year but i didnt snag one in time so i was like. fuck it. i will make my own. gonna let them dry to leather hard before going in with black underglaze.

i've been trying to draw again but. idk. i just feel very uninspired. i start drawing and it's like :| :| :|

eating: i was on my own food-wise for much of the last week because my roommate was babysitting for the rabbi, so i did not eat nearly as extravagantly as i normally do, LOL. i made a lo mein recipe that was kinda just a stir fry. this could have been my fault because i added a bunch of extra shit like bok choy and mushrooms. i also didn't use the correct type of noodle, and i didnt have oyster sauce so i used worcestershire, etc. many substitutions so it's probably not fair for me to say it was Just Fine. will have to try again at some later date actually following the recipe. herb and radish salad with feta and walnuts: delicious. 10/10. i tossed in some extra arugula and that was also good. and i made the tofu brussel sprouts tahini/hoisin sauce thing again because it's easy and tasty.

misc: visiting my grandma right now ...... entrenched in the ennui .............. spring break ........................

[mmorpg-escapism]

I have just enough energy in me tonight for my favorite solo duty. This one's a doozy, and the final thing that stands between us and Endwalker! ...which I'll start tomorrow. There are also some Thoughts on the expansion as a whole at the end under the cut.

For those of you who have been keeping an eye on this journey, thank you ❤ It's not over yet and is most definitely going to loop back to stuff I did before starting here: there will eventually be another run through ARR to current sometime after the graphics update hits every expansion, so likely late next year. I've got a hrothgal waiting in the wings for that one... and do plan to do this to Dawntrail on my main with appropriate spoilers tagged as well as the usual one. We shall see how that goes.

Now, into the duty!

Alphinaud's character growth is so very visible to us after Arenvald's pep talk. The kid is a natural-born leader, and despite his mistakes he has enough confidence to really use his gifts... after a little push from his friends and family.

And now, we fight! The Scions take the field in full force - first as a group, and then splitting up across the field to take charge of several enemies. Our first stop is us clearing the field of a LOT of tempered Imperials... then splitting up to find and deal with Lunar Primals wherever we can while G'raha holds the fort.

And now, the real fun: We get to cosplay as a few of the Scions! Starting with Alisaie! RDM is my favorite caster, and this simplified take on it is very much faithful to my experience with it itself. Lots of little enemies, one big one, and a very fun slice-n-dice playground.

Development: "Random" magical glyphs that are pointed at the heart of a massive "aetheric confluence" - which is just a fancy way of describing a spot where several aetheric currents meet - and Y'shtola's guess is that they're there to enable some seriously nasty disasters should one of the Grape-flavored Primals reach and destroy one. Cool, the stakes have risen.

Split #2 has us afield as Urianger's Astro, facing Lunar Odin - which I did NOT do in my original playthrough nor this one, so I had no idea what to expect. I'm not an Astro player, but after some experience with one of my static members being... particularly annoyed with it, this wasn't quite so bad. Odin down!

Split #3 is back to G'raha and Alisaie, but now we're playing as G'raha who is some combo of BLM and WHM, facing off with Lunar Ravana. Big stabby sword bug. Woo. He's just as cool as the original fight, if a little toned down for story and "2-man" reasons. Big stabby stuff, and even an excuse to use G'raha's Break spell! Bugman down!

Now, back to the WoL with Estinien and Alphinaud facing down the monster that crippled Arenvald: Grape Ifrit. This one's personal. And boy howdy wthat one was the most intense of the three. Fire everywhere, a big LB3-like thing out of Estinien, the works. But it's the last of the primals, and we're all still alive.

I love this duty so very much. Not only because we get to spend some time as our Scion friends. Not only because we get to fight primals in a more one-on-one style that helps me imagine how to write it when I get there. It's also because there are stakes going in - stop the crazy person with lots of power who's trying to end the world - that become more specific during the fight, and then when the evil plan is thwarted, they don't just gloss over the aftermath.

We get to see our friends being VERY human. Alisaie is exhausted and berating herself for not doing enough. Alphinaud cannot stand losing anyone, and we have to watch him fight that when his healing isn't enough to save the man in front of him. We see the Grand Company of Eorzea at work - city-state leaders and beastmen tribes alike working together to cure the tempered. We cannot save everyone, an Amalj'aa warrior reminds the Scions, but those we have saved would not have been if not for you.

"So please, hold your heads high." The entire bustling field stopped and listened. Every single country we have visited, from the Alliance to Doma, is represented here. Standing behind the Scions, who gave everything they had to win the day, despite the cost. The moon breaks through the clouds above, and one last time we hear the Shadowbringers main theme break through as everyone gathered stares up at it, and the credits roll.

================================================

As I sit and process this entire expansion one more time, it's clear... Shadowbringers fundamentally alters your brain chemistry. That's from one of the posts going around the week I wrapped this up, and it is extremely accurate. We started all the way back in ARR as an adventurer with a gift, but little else, and got used. We slowly turned into something else on our way into Heavensward ("What are you?" - Thordan VII after we beat him) and used the power we had to liberate two entire countries from the Garlean empire alongside our friends, then watched them get snatched away from us for some unknown reason.

And then we went to where they were and found ourselves embroiled in a world that flipped the script on everything we knew. Light was bad, Dark was good, and everything we thought we knew was wrong. Discoveries with ripple effects that will be felt through Endwalker and beyond were made, and two entire worlds were changed as a result.

I'm not that good at analyzing story, or at least I didn't think I was when I started. All I knew is that this expansion was The Best that FFXIV had to offer, and I wanted to find ways to articulate why I thought that. I think I've succeeded, at least a little. I'm very excited for Endwalker and Dawntrail and beyond. Maybe I'll even get some creative spark going and write more of ARW for your enjoyment and my own - I want to do more than think about my blorbo :)

One more Arenvald Appreciation post tomorrow, most likely, and then into Endwalker!

[the-firebird69]

https://fb.watch/t4jfj8jlcZ/

And yes the city's reformed by **** . This is a great article he's not saying how long it lasts in the bottle that we know it's like 3 months if it's warm maybe 4 months if it's cold and you don't make it warm and cold. Beer does not last that long it's not really meant to it's a consumable product it's rude to be drunken right away. I know he's talking about is a particular type of plastic that's resistant to breaking down it's actually very nice and it works. They're not the same as soda bottles we had a rough time with that no people drank all those already we have a tough time making the plastic that pure and now we can make it pretty good. There's great reasons to do it it doesn't start fights it doesn't flatten tires and a whole bunch of other things. And they're good at parties and you collect them and you recycle them in their light they don't make all this noise. Mostly they don't leave glass everywhere and I'm tired of that. There's too many of us who are drinkers and then plastic bottles blow into a corner and someone picks them up. We should start a recycling program we won't have any of them on the streets ever everybody's used to doing it and they'd like it they need extra money go grab a bunch of bottles. I might do that. We have some of these but boy am I tired of it it is tiring exhausting and it's kind of a game on recycling the glass is useless the only few things made with it and those are useless so we're going to do this and we're gonna start our morlock brewing company. And part of the Moorlock are mutants they have different ones and there are mutants who are actually mutants who are part of our group kinda and this is true and we have like limited abilities but he wants to start like a superhero line with ours and it would have calypso and other really superstars of ours and we're doing bad things and we should stop we need to but he says it because we could put it on the label and there there's a way to make it adult stuff but we're separated and you have quizzes and you say to this character is wolvesbain arkham Asylum and we get that and we can have him on there appeal the label back just like I'm a poison bottle and it would have a quiz and it would have questions and you can submit the answers online to possibly win some more beer the front of the label might might not be about superheroes but it's really about Morlock and as a giant he's kind of one of us and he was kind of trying to tell us that we know it's true. That's why Mac is stuck here. Being intolerant and it's not right if they were there too this would actually work but we're not doing it and they don't really have their own city areas you might develop it here they might and he says Tampa is probably the place and they sort of get that and it would look like multi races. we are going to have to move out of here we think so and he's gonna be stranded and he's kinda reminding us a lot here's a note to do he's never been in a situation this bad he's really young and you get dragged all over and he's upset and he doesn't want us blowing up the world it would suck worse. These are great ideas because they get people talking and it's about lower and we might have an experience tonight. It's bad timing but if it happens we will immortalize it by doing it if it happened he says we can use because it's an adult beer we can use their alter ego and put it in Dick Tracy style and that's what we say and cover up the factor superheroes in Morlock are yes. And we talk about blockbuster Mac and he has a name other than his stage name and the other one and he's in comics with his alter ego and we can use that and kids won't know. Some might figure it out and they'll read the empty beer bottles. We have to get going on this it's not a bad idea it's a little risky but really this is how it goes this is what we need to get out there and people expect it to be a little weird and it would drop people.

bja

They're doing a lot of stuff like that but your idea of plain clothes and having them hide their identities is good. There's a lot of kit cars they did the Delorean quite a bit they're trying to get it right with a new one now they can't seem to do it they wanna stamp it and they suck at it. They're trying different metals different thicknesses and they're trying to put it into a sandwich mold and vacuum it and they can't seem to get it to work at all they keep sticking together the two forms and they hear make the forms thicker and said the difference in between will never change you can have them in inch stick each and really I recommend like 1/2 inch it's not gonna move or make them out of steel and they started to say OK so they're making a thick one and we have made a thick one and they work you can make the skin like a 3 sixteenths and they said that's pretty good and vacuums in and it works so you just make it with like an inch out of the same material they're going ahead and they're gonna do it and they're thinking to me says you're welcome so it's moving out and we hear that they have progress in some areas they are making chassis and it's based on Brad Germans car. His tickled pink and her son helped design it in Herra and they said that's ridiculous they're making tons of them. And the car is gonna come out and it looks like his and they are having him work on it. There's another thing they're doing they're looking at this Chinese Rev Trike car the T Rex which is not the same as the other one and is really inexpensive and they said we could make this into a super car. It looks exactly like the rickshaw and it's by Tommy F and his people drive all these little weird things around and there's a bunch of them where he is in San Francisco area and he's up north and he's driving all these around and they look kind of weird and very metro and tons of people started buying them and they're all metro clothing and Cassandra called me up and said he said to look it's disgusting it's the most metro area i've ever seen. They're all driving around and their T shirts are all too small and they're torn jeans are too small and they get floods and and dockers it's disgusting there's millions of them. Is that explains the plan of the apes planet of the apes and she says what the hell is that and it's the new one and she's looking and said wow that's where it is and it is doing where a silicon but the car is awesome and we tried to make it better but we can't but we we can make a car out of it and he's saying it has to be a kick car it should have BG work on it so we can have people consult he does it a little and comes out pretty good and we hear it and he kind of threw the E bikes together went over a few things but they're pretty damn good for doing it and we noticed in his a solid very strong that's true and he's wondering right now he's thinking the suspension usually drives upwards you could do like a soft tail that the hardly soft tail has where the suspension is actually underneath it and it would shorten the chain and the chain derailer would tighten instead of tightening on the derailer it would possibly loosen on the D rather which doesn't really make it move so he's gonna think about that it's a huge problem it is a huge and it was better with the chain on the motorcycle now we're talking about these things and we're gonna get help for him we don't want trump interfering and he's really a **** and he's too close and thinks he can do stuff and he's sick right now we have to stop him and yeah you know plans are always evil and he knows it our friend knows it. But really this is helpful so we're gonna publish.

bja

ouit of room no megan merkle

Olympus print now

[getitinbusan]

Finger Bang!

Jeongguk Smut

More than pleased with himself, Jeongguk stared at how wet the bed was.

Quickly undoing his pants he knew he could pull another orgasm out of you while you were still blissed out. He brushed the damp hair off your cheek and kissed it.

"I don't think I'm ever going to get used to seeing that."

It had been a few weeks since this new talent revealed itself and he was determined to perfect the craft.

If he curled his fingers just right, and dragged them in and out at a steady pace, he could make you squirt like a soup dumpling. 

"So fucking wet, I can't believe how much your pussy loves my fingers." 

So while you lay in the aftermath, mind blank, muscles limp, he'd hop on and fuck you the rest of the way into oblivion replacing your fluids with his.

Walking through the airport you grabbed hold of him. Instead of taking his whole hand, you gripped your two favorite fingers and gave them a tight teasing squeeze.

"You really like those huh?"

"I thought it was obvious?"

Pressing his digits up to your lips you kissed them softly.

"I'm going to miss them this week, do you really have to go?"

"You're not going to miss me? Just my fingers?" He laughed, "You know you've got your own right?" 

"Not the same Guk. I love you, you'd better hurry back." 

The day before he was scheduled to return he messaged you. 

JK: I can't wait to see you tomorrow, I have a surprise. 

Y/N: I thought we were going to FaceTime tonight? I miss your smile Guk-ah."

Y/N: But what's the surprise!!??

JK: You're gonna have to be patient 💜 We get in at 7am, stay in bed, I'll meet you there 😏

The alarm went off at 6am, that would give you just enough time. 

Peeling off his old ripped t-shirt you got up to shower and shave.  

Putting clean sheets on the bed you tucked yourself back in just as the key turned in the lock. 

You heard the sound of his duffel bag drop on the floor, followed by shoes, then clothes as his bare feet pattered towards the bed. 

"I know you're not sleeping, I can see you smiling." 

You laughed as he lifted the covers and crawled on top of you.  "You'd better get over here and kiss me Jeongguk." 

His lips announced his homecoming as they connected with yours. His hand drew through your hair and caressed your cheek. 

You pulled back at the strange sensation. "What's this? Why are you wearing a glove? Jeongguk are you hurt?!" 

He rolled onto his back and held his gloved hand up. "This is my surprise!" 

You looked at him puzzled, "I don't get it." 

Sliding the fabric off his hand he slowly revealed his newly inked fingers, the inflamed writing spelled out ARMY across his knuckles. 

"Oh my God, thats so fucking hot!" 

He smiled at your praise. "You really like it? I can't wait for the fans to see how much I love them." 

You crawled on top of him, "When are you gonna show me how much you love me?" 

You ground yourself onto his hardening cock, "I need you to make me cum."

"Yeah? you need my fingers inside you baby?" 

"Please Kookie, I've been a good girl waiting for you." 

"Fuck, I love when you talk like that." 

He lowered his hand to your entrance, his fingers finding you wet in anticipation. Dipping his index inside you he hissed. 

His eyes grew big and apologetic, "shit...shit, I'm sorry. I'll be right back." 

He got out of bed and walked to the washroom. You could hear him running the faucet. The light flicked back off and he stood beside the bed. 

"You're gonna be mad." 

"Jeongguk, what's going on? I've missed you, why the hell aren't you fucking me right now?" 

He grabbed the discarded glove from the bed and slipped it back over his hand.

Realization hit you, "Oh for fucks sakes Jeon. How long till they heal?" 

His head dropped,"Three weeks.." 

The sex was good but… it was no squirting orgasm. 

It had been a week and a half plus the week he'd been gone. He felt bad.

Jeongguk loved to please you and even though you didn't complain he knew he could be giving you so much more. 

He walked into the living room where you lay on the couch and made a show of dropping his book loudly onto the coffee table. 

You picked it up and read the title, 

"Tantric Alchemy and Amrita: The Sacred Nectar of a good woman"

"Have you given up Overwatch for feminist studies?" 

He took it out of your hand and stretched out beside you. 

He flipped it open, "It says when a woman squirts, its a holy experience for her." 

You couldn't stop laughing at how serious he was.

"You've made me scream OH GOD on multiple occasions, im not sure why you needed a book to tell you that." 

"Don't make fun of me," he pouted. "I know you really like it when I make you squirt and I just want to understand so I can do it better." 

You held up his hand and looked at the Tattoos, "How much longer?" 

"Three more days baby, we're almost there. Wanna see what else I learned?" 

He flipped to the bookmarked page and read it to you.

"Tantric Kissing brings your makeout sessions to totally new, electric, and elevated levels. It allows you to experience flowing orgasmic energy with  outrageous passion between you and your kissing partner." He wiggled his brow and grinned.

Your panties were already wet.

"Jeongguk," you rubbed against him, "I'm more of a hands on learner. Why dont you teach me about it?"

You woke up in a great mood. Today was THE day! 

Jeongguk had left bright and early for rehearsal so you wouldn't see him until after the show tonight. 

Trying to distract yourself all day, your house had never been this clean. The anticipation building inside you was manifesting in your creamed panties. 

Y/N: Guk I'm gonna die...I cant wait any longer.

JK: Don't you dare touch yourself!

Y/N: You'd better take care of me

JK: I've got you baby girl.

JK: I changed the ending of Boy with Luv just for you...💜

Y/N: ?? Cant wait, see you soon.

He was a tease. Standing in the front row with your legs clamped together he danced for you.

Lifting his shirt, thrusting his hips, rolling his body, his hand falling conveniently over his cock. He knew exactly what he was doing. 

Almost at the finish line, you couldn't wait to get him home. The familiar ohs of Boy With Luv began and you watched as he flirted with you. You didn't want to wait, you wanted to be in the car already, getaway style. 

End...end...come on end...Boy with Luv…

He looked over his shoulder  directly at you and raised your two favorite fingers in the air. Holding the pose he winked and motioned with his head for you to get backstage. 

"Fucking finger guns Jeongguk? Do you want me to wet myself in public?" 

Not saying a word he grinned as he pulled you into a nearby green room and locked the door behind him. 

He backed you up animalisticly like you were prey until your legs found the edge of the couch.

"Guk..." 

He put his tattooed finger over you lips.  

You lay back on the couch as he knelt on the floor in front of you. 

Lifting your skirt he shook his head, "you haven't been wearing panties all night?"

You smiled sweetly and shrugged. 

Spreading you wide he went knuckle deep and pulled back out. "So fucking wet," he licked his finger. 

"Guk please, don't tease me anymore." Begging him, you were desperate to get off. 

He pushed his fingers into you and layed himself onto your chest. As his fingers stroked your sweet spot he whispered in your ear. 

"Remember the other day when we kissed for hours?"

You couldn't form sentences so you moaned in acknowledgment.

"How it felt like nothing else existed but us?" 

He lifted your leg to hit a deeper angle. 

"I want to give you that all the time." 

His lips moved warm and slow, his tongue dancing in your mouth as fireworks went off behind your eyes. His fingers, covered in cream were snuggly inside you, pressing, rubbing into a euphoric trance. He had you dizzy. 

His tongue swiped across your bottom lip, "can you cum for me?"  

You knew he was speaking but your brain couldn't decipher what the words were. 

As your hips involuntarily rose to press into his palm he increased his speed. Your legs were trembling and he knew it was imminant. Moving to the side he watched as pleasure took over and you released your cum onto the couch and the floor. 

"Thats my girl." 

Your head was reeling as you tried to regain your strength. He held out his hand to help you up. 

"Aren't you going to finish?" 

He pulled you into a hug, "Nope. I learnt a few things from my book, it's going to be a long night." 

He opened the door just as Jimin was walking by. Eyeing you both  suspiciously up and down he looked into the room. "Is everything okay? Why are you wet.. why's the floor wet?" 

Jungkook shrugged, "Sometimes we have waterfights."

[dizzydancingdreamer]

Persephone’s Symphony Playlist

A list of songs that I have gathered that make me think of Persephone and Hades, not in order but will have the chapters they fit with beside them for an added listening experience if one so wishes <3

Find it on Spotify here

Persephone's Symphony Master List

none too deep | Atlas in Motion, Sofia Caterina — Night One | Hades

Nothing you can say will make me leave

I'm none too deep for you

Don't push me away, i wanna be here for you

And i won't push you too far to feel

Like you have to talk about the dark

_

Hey, Soul Sister | Jonah Baker — Day Two | Hades

Your sweet moonbeam

The smell of you in every single dream I dream

I knew when we collided

You're the one I have decided who's one of my kind

_

I Of The Storm | Of Monsters and Men — Night One | Persephone, Night Two | Hades

I am a stranger

I am an alien inside a structure

Are you really gonna love me when I'm gone?

With all my thoughts

And all my faults

_

Accidentally in Love | KiD RAiN — Day Three | Persephone

Come on, come on

We were once upon a time in love

We're accidentally in love

_

Falling | Harry Styles — Day Two | Persephone

What am I now? What am I now?

What if you're someone I just want around

I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm falling

_

The Scientist | Gabriella — Day One | Hades

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry

You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you, tell you I need you

Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions

Oh, let's go back to the start

_

If I Die Young | The Band Perry — Day Three | Hades

I've never known the lovin' of a man

But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand

There's a boy here in town, says he'll love me forever

Who would have thought forever could be severed by

The sharp knife of a short life

Well, I've had just enough time

So put on your best, boys, and I'll wear my pearls

What I never did is done

_

Lose My Mind (Acoustic) | Dean Lewis — Day Two | Hades

Oh now you're looking at me,

And I'm looking at you like a fool

But you don't know what it feels like to fall in love with you

No you don't know what it's like when you can't go back

_

Drops of Jupiter | stories, Olivia Kuper Harris — Night Three | Hades, Epilogue | Persephone

But tell me, did you sail across the sun?

Did you make it to the Milky Way

To see the lights all faded

And that heaven is overrated?

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?

One without a permanent scar

And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?

_

Skinny Love | Birdy — Night One | Persephone, Day Three | Hades

Come on, skinny love, just last the year

Pour a little salt, we were never here

My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my

Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

_

Afterglow | Ed Sheeran — Day Two | Persephone

Stop the clocks, it's amazing

You should see the way the light dances off your head

A million colours of hazel, golden and red

Saturday morning is fading

The sun's reflected by the coffee in your hand

My eyes are caught in your gaze all over again

_

save me from the monster in my head | Welshly Arms — Night One | Hades, Night Two | Persephone, Night Two | Hades

Would you find me when the lights go down?

And hold me steady when I'm freakin' out?

'Cause I need you here

You keep me safe

You keep me safe and sound

_

Home | Cavetown — Prologue | Hades, Day One | Hades, Night One | Hades, Day Two | Hades

Get a load of this monster

He doesn't know how to communicate

His mind is in a different place

Will everybody please give him a little bit of space

Get a load of this train-wreck

His hair's a mess and he doesn't know who he is yet

But little do we know, the stars

Welcome him with open arms

_

I Should Probably Go To Bed | Dan + Shay — Night One | Persephone, Night Two | Persephone, Night Two | Hades, Day Three | Persephone

I should probably go to bed

I should probably turn off my phone

I should quit while I'm ahead

I should probably leave you alone

Now I'm all up in my head again

'Cause I know I don't

Have the self-control

To walk away if you walk in

_

Iris | Natalie Taylor — Night Three | Persephone, Night Three | Hades

And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't wanna go home right now

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

_

Admit Defeat | Bastille — Day Two | Hades, Night Two | Hades, Day One | Persephone, Night Three | Persephone, Night Three | Hades

You stirred somethin' in me

I admit defeat

Won't be thinking 'bout anything at all tonight, so

Wrap yourself 'round me

I admit defeat

Won't be thinking 'bout anything at all tonight, but

You, oh, oh

_

All of Me | John Legend — Night One | Hades

How many times do I have to tell you?

Even when you're crying, you're beautiful too

The world is beating you down, I'm around

Through every mood

You're my downfall, you're my muse

My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues

_

Angel With A Shotgun | The Cab — Day Three | Hades

hey say before you start a war

You better know what you're fighting for

Well, baby, you are all that I adore

If love is what you need, a soldier I will be

I’m an angel with a shotgun

Fighting 'til the war's won

I don't care if heaven won't take me back

I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe

Don't you know you're everything I have?

_

Work Song | Hozier — Day Three | Persephone, Night Three | Persephone, Night Three | Hades

Cause my baby's sweet as can be

She'd give me toothaches just from kissin' me

When my time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold dark earth

No grave can hold my body down

I'll crawl home to her

_

High Tops | Del Water Gap — Night Three | Persephone, Night Three | Hades

Don't you know that you're the only queen

Of this one-horse town

You're the only one that meant a thing to me

You're still hanging around

Touch me like you know me

Baby when you're lonely

Kiss me on my open mouth

I'll throw you a rope

I'll keep pulling you out

_

I Love You, I Love You. It’s Disgusting. — Epilogue | Persephone

You rescued me when my mind was in a prison

You set me free when no one else would listen

Now I finally feel complete

And I will follow you into the sea of eternity

Collapse into my arms

I'll take care of your heart

_

4 AM | Olivver The Kid — Night One | Hades, Night Two | Persephone

At 4 o'clock in the morning

You said

How often do these nightmares come?

Who are the wolves in your head?

How often do these nightmares come now?

_

Machine | Scott Helman — Day Two | Hades, Night Two | Hades, Day Three | Persephone

But you're more than bolts.

Like the city's more than steel and stone.

Soon your heart is gonna overflow.

They push you back down, you get up again.

Circuits freeze and androids never dream.

You're more than a machine.

_

Holding out for a Hero | Elise Lieberth — Night One | Hades, Day Three | Hades

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night

He's gotta be strong

And he's gotta be fast

And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light

He's gotta be sure

And he's gotta be soon

And he's gotta be larger than life

_

[goddessofthundathighs]

Happy early birthday to my twin @panthergoddessbast! Always remember that I love you immensely! 😘

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VI. THREE-HEADED MONSTER

The sexual tension on the ride back to O'Shea's house was so thick it could be cut with a knife. Erik could feel the way her eyes bore into the side of his face, her stare unrelenting. She wanted more, but he still didn't think she deserved it. She was gonna have to work for the dick, no matter how many times her hand brushed against his hardening third leg.

"What are you doing, Ms. Powell?" he asked, his eyes never leaving the road.

"I was a good girl at dinner. I think I deserve a treat."

"You got one in the bathroom, don't be greedy Princess." This made Shea pout, but she was determined to make him break.

"Please Daddy?" she tried again, sliding her perfectly manicured coffin nail up his thigh.

"O'Shea, I said no," he scolded firmly causing her to recoil slightly.

"No?" she inquired, her eyebrow raised in confusion. Being the spoiled Daddy's girl she was, no wasn't a word she was used to hearing. Erik noticed her change in demeanor and decided to exploit the situation.

"Yes, I said no, Bianca. Any other questions?" She huffed loudly, turning her body back to face the windshield.

"First of all, I'm an adult and you will address me as such. You're going to give in eventually. That tent in ya pants will need to be handled somehow."

"I have Skylar for that," he added just to antagonize her further.

"Nice try, but Skylar is a lesbian."

"Skylar is just like you, she doesn't give a fuck who eats her pussy, I'm just the only man she lets do it," he replied with a shit-eating grin. O'Shea remained silent the rest of the ride to her place, not even bothering to give him a look back as she walked up to her door and into the house. He couldn't exactly explain why, but he loved getting her riled up the way he had. He loved seeing the fire in her eyes when she was angry at him. It made his dick even harder and the dormant beast within him began to come to life.

Let me have a taste, the beast growled.

"Soon, big fella. Soon," he told himself. Little did O'Shea know he had his own Bennie, and Killmonger was an expert brat tamer.

--

"Why in the fuck would you tell her that? She should've punched your ass," Skylar fussed from her seat behind Erik's desk. She was on the computer, her long nails tittering away on the keyboard as she worked on an informative pamphlet for her own clients.

"The three major components of the cognitive-behavioral approach are: (a) replacement of sexual anxiety with sexual comfort; (b) adopting positive sexual attitudes and learning sexual skills; and (c) a program of individually designed sexual exercises to be done between therapy sessions. The goal of this therapy is to develop a comfortable, functional, and satisfying sexual style... How does that sound," she asked aloud.

"Like you copied and pasted it from a generic article but it serves its purpose and describes what we do. I might just change the name of the practice to mine and steal your pamphlets."

"I don't think so," Skylar mumbled printing multiple pamphlets before ejecting her drive.

"You couldn't do that in your office?" Erik teased watching her lips purse in indignation.

"I could've but I was already here," she replied, taking a sip from her caramel macchiato. "So how are things going with you and Shea?"

"Oh the usual, however, I think we're making progress with her attitude. She's starting to learn that acting out and misbehaving gets her nothing but blue balls."

"I don't think women can get blue balls, but go off I guess."

"Shut up you know what I meant, nigga," he replied, blowing the wrapper of his straw in her direction. The pair shared a laugh before Erik grabbed his leather notebook from the desk drawer.

"I need help coming up with the next method I want to try with her. She's the ideal candidate for experimental therapies. We can really take this thing as far as it goes with her. Hypnotherapy was successful, I've taken thorough notes on that session after watching the footage a few times. And the toy. The toy did exactly what it was designed to do. However, it's not just toys and hypnotism. I've found that engaging her in non-sexual ways are just as effective to bring out her little personalities.

"Oh, so you met them already." Sky leaned forward interested in where the conversation was headed.

"I've tapped into her Little behavior and experimented with some of her kinks. Buttercup is the Little and she appears whenever she feels that I'm upset with her. There are layers to that psychologically that I'd like to examine."

"Hmm," Skylar nodded intrigued.

"Bianca is the brat you and I are used to."

"Too used to it." Skylar's eyes roll.

"She's obviously triggered by the word 'No' and tends to act out when she doesn't get her way. She's also fairly easy to contain... Bennie-"

"You don't need to tell me about Bennie, I work in a sex shop. Bennie comes to work every day."

"I'm kinda stuck now... I have all of this leeway yet I can't decide which method to use next. When I look at her I see endless possibilities. Since you know her, what do you suggest?"

"How about you do some type of exercise in which you bring all of her little personalities to the surface? Get her high."

"Seriously? That's it?"

"Yeah. You'd be amazed at what you'll learn from her when she's under the influence." Erik rubbed his chin as he pondered the thought.

"But you know how I get when I'm high, Sky," he said, sending a sly grin her way.

"Boy get your slick ass away from me. Save the bedroom eyes for O'Shea, thanks."

"On some serious shit though, how do I go about asking her to the crib? That violates all types of rules and crosses all types of barriers."

"Well technically it doesn't because it's possible to file it under intensive in-home services," she chuckled.

"Sky..."

"Okay, seriously working with the client in their home is not out of the ordinary. Don't make this weird."

"Aight, so you think we should do this at her crib since I've already been there before?"

"Yes. Her home is easier to justify on paper since it's familiar territory and she'll be more relaxed in her own space versus yours."

"Yo smart ass! That's why I keep you around," he said kissing her forehead repeatedly.

"I thought it was because I rolled the best weed but both compliments will do."

"You know I love you girl. That reminds me, you still got that dispensary connect in LA?"

"Maybe, why? You tryna get some specialty shit?"

"Yes, ma'am. Something that will ease her mind and body and allow her to open up to me."

"I know just the thing. It's called Green Goddess."

"Ooh, sounds exotic. I need two ounces."

"$2500."

"You know my account info. Get it for me and bring it by. Oooh, bring some In & Out too. And Cold Stones."

"Nigga is O'Shea the female in this situation or you?"

"Hush woman and do what I say," he said with a sharp smack to her ass.

"Yes Daddy," she teased in a soft, Princess-like voice.

"Aye chill out, it's been a minute." Skylar's soft giggle rang throughout the hallway as she walked towards the entrance. He thought for a minute before typing a quick text to O'Shea.

Busy tonight?

Nah why?

Netflix and chill at your crib? I'll bring the bud and food.

You had me at bud. See you at 7.

"Spoiled ass," he chuckled as he put his phone away.

The rest of the work day went by smoothly and soon it was time to head to his patient's house. As usual, Skylar came through with the bud he requested and both his and Shea's favorite meals from In & Out and ice cream from Cold Stones.

"At this point, you owe me your life," Sky fussed from her desk. "Traffic was hell. There was an accident, a four-car pileup." She was working late due to Erik and his needy ways so she opted to facetime him as he made his way to O'Shea's house to make her frustrations known.

"I knew it would be something that's why I knew I wouldn't have the time or patience. But you know I always got you, ma. If all else fails, I'm marrying you."

"Choke on rocks," she pouted. "Always using me for the shit you don't wanna do. I'm getting a new best friend, one that respects how great I am and loves me for me."

"If it's a dude, I'ma kill him. Killmonger don't share."

"I ain't Killmonger's bitch," she countered. "And murder is very much so illegal. This ain't the Navy." He smiled, revealing his bottom row of gold. He cleared his throat before dropping his voice several octaves.

"You sure about that, ma?"

"Oh no, put the demon away."

"Nah, you said you were replacing us. You sure you wanna do that?"

"Unlike O'Shea, I can do what I want, but no sweetheart, I'd never replace you."

"Pinky promise and swear on Crip."

"On Crip, I'd never replace you and you know we don't lie on the hood."

"Aight we good. I'll call you later to let you know how things go." The pair shared their goodbyes and Erik exited his vehicle.

"You're early," O'Shea noted as she stepped back to let him in. The clock on the microwave read 5:30.

"Work was light and I figured I'd just go ahead and come over. Problem?"

"No. Is that Cold Stones?" She asked wide-eyed.

"Yes it is and no you can't have it."

"B-But why?" she pouted.

"Later, Bianca."

"How many times must I remind you that I am an adult?"

"Barely," he regarded with a smirk as he made his way to her kitchen. She followed him the whole way, pouting all the while as he pulled everything out of the bags.

"Fix ya face or you won't get any at all."

"That's not fair!" she pouted harder, folding her arms over her chest.

"Life isn't fair, Lil' Mama."

"This is some bullshit," she fussed as she walked to the couch.

"Bet. I'll keep this sweet cream and oreo shit to myself," he teased, noticing how her mouth dropped in shock. Erik's grin only widened as he walked over to the couch with their food and drinks.

"So what we watching, Bianca Boo?" he asked, reaching for the remote.

"First of all, my name is O'Shea."

"You're acting like a brat so your name is Bianca, now answer my question."

"Can we watch Hercules?"

"Fuckin' child," he mumbled as he pressed play on the movie. The couple ate, sang, and smoked as they breezed through their little Disney movie marathon. From Hercules to Mulan to The Emperor's New Groove they relived their childhoods while the Green Goddess indica worked its magic to mellow them both out and allow them to talk and bond on a more personal level. Several hours into the Disney and chill session, O'Shea figured she'd try her luck again. She noted how much more mellow Erik was when he was under the influence, using this opportunity to fully appreciate how good he looked dressed down. The charcoal gray turtleneck clung to his muscles effortlessly, barely covering the Patek Phillipe watch on his left wrist. His black slacks fit him well, as though they were tailor-made just for him. Her eyes remained glued to the bulge in his pants as he sat with his legs spread wide on the couch. O'Shea fought hard to keep herself from staring, but of course, Erik noticed. He had been watching her watch him for the last 20 minutes and the beast within him noticed too.

"You gone suck or just stare at it?" Killmonger growled, startling O'Shea from her shameless eyefucking. The deep timbre of his voice had her quaking and before he could change his mind, she dropped down to her knees in front of him, seizing her moment to strike him down to a base level of weakness. Surely he could not withstand her oral talent no matter what contenders he'd faced before. Skylar was a master of oral sex when it came to women, but O'Shea was the oracle when it came to men. She looked up at him innocently as she took him into her mouth, lightly teasing his tip with gentle licks before finally taking as much of him as she could down her throat. Though she was cursed with a gag reflex, she was still a master at her craft and the way he was moaning above her proved that she hadn't lost her touch. His stout, thick fingers found their way into her curly mane, lightly gripping her tresses to help guide her head up and down his shaft.

"Just like that, Shea. Grip that shit, stroke what you can't fit in that wet ass mouth," he encouraged. O'Shea moaned around his shaft, using his praises as encouragement to show out on the dick. She wasn't sure when she'd get him this loose again and wanted to make sure this experience was memorable. Just as she was finding her groove, he made the most awful sound above her.

"Ah, shit! What the fuck?!"

"Wait, stop moving!"

"That shit hurt, what the fuck did you just do to me?" In all of the 5 years that O'Shea had had her braces, never once had they gotten caught on anyone. Leave it to Erik Stevens to be the unlucky contender.

"I-I'm sorry, that's never happened before," she said fighting back her laughter. He was being more dramatic than the situation really called for.

"Oh, that shit's funny to you? I'm fucking bleeding."

"You're not, but ok," she said standing from her position on the floor.

"Man move," he fussed, rushing to the bathroom to assess the damages.

20 minutes. 20 whole minutes was how long he left her to her own psyche while he calmed down. He knew she didn't mean to do it, but the fact that she laughed is what really pissed him off. Once he composed himself, he walked out to see her back on the couch with her head down towards the floor. He didn't speak to her, only went to the kitchen to throw away the trash and grab his keys.

"So are you going to leave and not speak to me? I told you it was an accident."

"I know, Buttercup and I'm not upset. I just think it's a good idea to end this session where it is. I'll have Harper contact you about your next appointment. Have a good night." With that and a kiss to the back of her hand, he walked outside and back to his car, leaving O'Shea a confused, sad mess. She didn't do well with people being mad at her, especially at this point in her life when her little personalities were fully functioning entities. The buzz of her phone brought her out of her psyche.

"Daddy's sorry for the way he left you, Buttercup. I meant what I said about not being angry at what happened, but what really pissed me off is the fact that you thought it was funny."

"But you laugh at my pain all the time," she replied meekly, curling up into a ball on the couch.

"I don't laugh at your pain, I laugh at the fact that you think you run shit. How about this, let's meet somewhere and talk about it."

"Where?"

"Cold Stones."

"But I have ice cream in the freezer."

"Since when have you turned down more?"

"Touché. Give me 10 minutes." She quickly dressed, happy that he wasn't upset and that he still wanted to continue their therapy and build their potential relationship. Though he was indeed her therapist, she felt comfortable with him. More comfortable than she had felt with anyone in a long time and if she were being honest, it scared her. She hated how vulnerable she was around him having been so guarded for most of her life, yet she liked that she could be her true self without fear of judgment and ridicule for her behavior. The benefits of having him as her therapist outweighed her fears. He got her on a level that no one else had before, not even Sky.

Excitedly, she met him in the air-conditioned shop finding him with ice cream in hand. On her approach, he rested his palm atop her head as if to say welcome.

"So now I'm a dog?"

"Nah, you just small. Have a seat, baby girl." She sat down beside him and began eating the cold sugary concoction of sweet cream, chocolately brownie chunks, crumbled graham crackers and walnuts all drizzled with thick caramel. She bounced happily in her seat as the divine mixture set her tastebuds ablaze. This was one of her all-time favorite combinations and she was glad he'd remembered it to the smallest detail. He smiled as he watched her smiling and bouncing in her element, happy that she was happy. She was eating so fast that she dripped ice cream onto her chin and brand new royal purple Disney spirit jersey. She pouted, but he merely grabbed a napkin and cleaned her mess.

"Why the long face, Buttercup? I thought a messy little girl was a happy little girl."

"Sky just bought this for me, though. I didn't want to get it dirty. There's even a stain on Mickey." She turned her body slightly to show him the smudged caramel on the sparkly D emblem.

"Well that won't do, will it? You're welcome to take it off. You wouldn't want to spill again."

"But I'm not wearing another shirt," she pouted further.

"Less material to worry about. You should enjoy your ice cream freely. Do remove the shirt, Buttercup.. for your own good." She nodded, slowly lifting the sweatshirt over her head and laying it on the table. He grabbed and folded it neatly before placing it on the booth beside him. Now free from the constraints of the jersey, she tore into her ice cream like a woman starved.

"Doesn't that feel better? Your sweater is now safe from any harm and Daddy will worry about having it cleaned. That's not something a little girl should concern herself with."

"Yes Daddy, thank you," she said with a wide grin. It had been so long since she had been allowed to freely be in her little space, especially to this degree and it was nice to put the stresses and worries of adulting to the side, even if it were just for a little while.

"Um... I'm sorry sir, but um.. shirts are required in this establishment... Sorry..," the gangly scooper spoke nervously, obviously intimidated by his stature though he was not in his imposing state. The anxiety in the guy's eyes rubbed him the wrong way. Another negative profile. If that was the case while he wore a sweater and a name brand watch, he thought, the man deserved to feel fearful.

"Several pale skinned patrons are wearing sports bras and cropped bandeau tops, similar to my date's. Are you going to say the same to them?" Erik asked with a raised eyebrow watching the guy stammer in distress.

"I- It's just- Nevermind," the scooper stumbled, making his way back behind the counter. He started to pick up a phone, but when Erik made eye contact and mouthed a message, he put the phone back down.

"What did you say just now," O'Shea inquired, looking from the counter back to Erik's peaceful expression. The behavior of the scooper didn't match his face.

"Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about, Buttercup. Take your time. Finish your ice cream and we'll be on our way." O'Shea shrugged but continued to bounce happily as she ate her ice cream, even going as far as to ask Erik for another bowl for later. Because of the way he behaved earlier, he obliged.

"Whadya know, Buttercup! We got this one free."

"Yay!" she squealed, happily thanking the fearful scooper who nodded without eye contact.

"I-It was no trouble, really," he stuttered, eyes never leaving Erik's menacing scowl. As the couple turned to leave, Erik bucked at the young scooper, laughing loudly at the way he flinched, dropping a tower of ice cream all over himself.

"Damn, nigga. You need to lift weights or something," he smirked opening the glass door for O'Shea.

"Where do you wanna go now, Buttercup?" he asked as he brushed a rogue curl behind her ear.

"I wish it wasn't so late. I really wanna go to Disneyland." Erik checked his watch and noted that the park would indeed be closing soon.

"We can't get into the park, but Downtown Disney is still open."

"Ooh can we go to Salt & Straw?" she asked, bouncing on her toes.

"Buttercup you just had ice cream and got a free one to go. Not to mention you still have ice cream in the freezer from earlier."

"Yeah, but none of those were honey lavender with whipped cream and a waffle cone," she pouted.

'You're right, but considering the fact that I'm a doctor who also cares about your physical health, the answer is still no. You are sweet enough." She was upset but didn't protest further for fear that he'd just decide to take her back to her house. No matter how upset she was, Disney fixed everything. As the pair roamed the district, O'Shea's eyes grew wide watching Erik walk into to the Pandora shop. She'd been wanting new charms for her princess-themed bracelet forever, but never had the time or the extra funds to splurge on herself the way she wanted.

"How about I make my Buttercup something special?" he beamed down at her, rubbing circles into the small of her back.

"Oooh, what is it?" she asked happily.

"It's a surprise, but why don't you go get us two of those honey lavender cones and it'll be done by the time you get back."

"Ok!" she squealed happily, taking his card and running out of the store before he changed his mind again. It took her all of 10 minutes to go and come back with her half-eaten cone and his full one. Her grin was wide as she regarded Erik standing in front of the counter with both hands behind his back. His shit-eating grin was back like he knew he was that nigga. And at this moment, he was.

"Whatcha got back there, Daddy?"

"Just a little something for my second favorite princess," he replied stepping closer to her. "Close your eyes and hold out your left wrist." She quickly complied and her beaming grin grew even wider as she felt the cold metal against her skin.

"Alright, open." He watched smugly as her eyes opened and widened. Her heart was so full she thought it would burst. She hadn't even realized that he had slipped her princess bracelet off her wrist until she saw it in its complete form.

"You finished my bracelet?"

"Yes ma'am, chronologically just the way you had it and I started your villain one." Her fingers toyed delicately with the Tinkerbell and poisoned apple charms on the princess bracelet before moving to Maleficent and the Evil Queen charms on the villain bracelet. Then her eyes met his. She wanted to cry.

"Thank you so much, Daddy."

"Anything for my Buttercup. I even left off Anna and Elsa because I know those are the ones you like the least." Again, he'd remembered something seemingly frivolous solely because he knew it was important to her. She felt her little heart swell two sizes.

"You're the best, really." She rewarded him with a sweet kiss on the lips, which he deepened when he grabbed her chin and added a little tongue. Just enough to leave her wanting.

"Come on, pretty girl. Let's get you home, we both have work in the morning."

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[lifeisdabubbles-undersalmondean]

La Pomme ~ Chapter 11

Pairing: Sam x OC (eventual Dean x OC and Dean x Castiel. And I mean eventual.)

Series summary: George is a casual French-Mistake-universe Supernatural fan living in no-COVID 2020, who's life is upended when she's suddenly launched between realities, two years into the boys' past (S13E22). What begins as an insane, immersive fan experience turns into more when Jack goes missing and George offers up her AU information to help track him down. Soon it's discovered that she and Sam may actually have history. But that's impossible, right?

Word Count: 4,800

Warnings: {smut, fluff, angst, show level violence, swearing, mentions of suicide} ***Detailed warnings will be tagged for specific chapters.

A/N: Following the events of my prequel Paradise and second story From My Eyes Off. Reading those first gives context but isn’t necessary to start this one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Cab company says one of their drivers picked up a random fare in front of Target two hours ago and took them to Carson City!" Sam shouted to Dean and Cas as he jogged back anxiously from inside the gas station. "I got the address."

"We sure it's George?" Dean asked, screwing the gas cap back on and shutting the flap

"Well, she said she was from there," He answered matter of factly. "If she ran, home is the most likely place she'd go, right?" Dean gave him a skeptical look and Sam shrugged as they both climbed back into the Impala, "And it's our only lead, so let's go!"

Knowing Sam was right about their very short list of options, the engine roared to life and Dean began driving in the direction of Carson City. 30 minutes later, Dean pulled up along the front of a tall, sprawling beige building.

"We think this is where she went? A community college?" Dean asked, looking skeptically at Sam. He didn't respond, looking at the building curiously. It was definitely strange but Sam felt confident. Or at least, he tried to because if he didn't he would spiral into panic.

Dean had graciously allowed George an extra 30 minutes in Target-because you know how women are about clothes-while stewing hangrily, before he'd gotten impatient and stormed into the shopping center with the other two men in tow. They'd swept the store and the parking lot twice with no sign of her, then started to get worried. After questioning nearly everyone in Target, they'd driven around Reno for an hour looking for any sign of her with no luck-and no food. Finally Dean suggested contacting cab companies in the area to inquire about recent fares and Sam thought it was genius. This had to be right.

"This is the address the cab company gave me," Sam explained, looking around at the-clearly closed-buildings. Dean kept slowly driving past the main building and turned left into the school, looking for signs of life.

As they came back to the main building at the end of their circle and hadn't found any, he finally asked, "OK, so now what?"

Sam thought about it for a minute, trying to logically figure out their next move. Maybe the buildings were open when she'd gotten here earlier? But what was she looking for here and where did she go next? He scoured his memory of their conversations trying to identify any clues.

Just as Sam was about to give up, Castiel pointed to something on their right side, "What about over there?"

Off in the distance, behind the football field and next to the student parking garage was a more modern, silver building with all it's lights still on. The brothers exchanged a look before Dean drove over.

"A library?" He asked as they pulled up.

"A library! That's it!" Sam exclaimed excitedly. Dean parked the car and Sam quickly reached into the glove box and grabbed out three fake IDs that looked closest to security badges.

The three of them got out, Sam passing out the badges, and as they walked up to the entrance Dean asked, "What? How is this 'it?' Why would she go to a library?"

"For the internet?"

"The internet?" Dean was confused. "You think she ran away from us to look at porn?" They reached the glass doors and Castiel opened the left side for them to pile in.

Sam rolled his eyes and said quietly once they were inside, "How many times do I have to tell you there's more to the internet than porn?" Not waiting for an answer, Sam walked over to the large, round information desk conveniently located in the middle of the entryway.

Sat behind the counter was a woman who looked older than your typical college student, but younger than him; he guessed 30ish. She wore a white ripped up band shirt under a black button down and lots of gold jewelry on her wrists and fingers. She had multiple facial piercings-nearly everywhere you could have them-and her hair was styled in short, red wine-colored dreads that fell to her chin. When she looked up at him, he noticed her strikingly beautiful skin was a random pattern of rich terra-cotta brown and stark pale pink. Sam realized she must have vitiligo.

"Hi, I'm Officer Grohl from campus security," he flashed the badge too quickly for her to actually see and continued confidently, "Officer's Cobain and Novoselic," he pointed at Cas and Dean, coming up behind him. "What's your name?"

"Stacey." She removed her earbuds and stood up nervously.

"Nice to meet you Stacey. Can you tell me how long you've been working tonight?"

"Started my shift about three hours ago," she responded curiously.

"Great, then maybe you can help. We're looking for a woman; caucasian, tall, long blonde hair, blue eyes, friendly, rambles a lot. Sound familiar?" They could instantly tell she knew something. Her well practiced, customer service friendly expression was replaced with shock and guilt as soon as Sam finished his description.

Clearing her throat, Stacey responded, "Uh… why? Is she in trouble?"

"Well, we don't know," Dean began, feigning concern. "She's a student that's been reported missing by her boyfriend. Have you seen her?"

"Sorry, did you say boyfriend?!" Stacey's attitude shifted quickly, placing an indignant hand on her hip. It was clear that she was annoyed by that information, though it wasn't clear why.

Dean glanced at Sam curiously before confirming, "Yea, I did. Why?"

Stacey didn't answer right away, clenching her jaw and huffing. Finally she rolled her eyes and smirked in anger, "She came in about two hours ago with some sob story about losing her ID. Said she had a paper due the next morning; seemed stressed about it."

"So, you let her in?" Sam guessed and Stacey nodded guiltily. "When was this?"

"She got here about midnight, just after my shift started."

"Can you tell us what she was doing while she was here?"

"Erm… Mostly, she was on the computer. I assume working on her paper?"

"Really? Can you show us where?" Sam inquired.

"Sure," Stacey said with some frustration, leading the group to a computer station about 50 feet away. "Right here."

"Do you know what she was using the computer for?" Sam asked, wiggling the mouse and getting a login screen.

"I didn't ask and she didn't say."

"Is there any way to find out?"

"Not without a warrant," She sighed with a bit of attitude. Obviously she felt they had overstayed their welcome. The three of them shared a surprised look, unsure how to respond.

Sam turned on his sad puppy dog charm and cleared his throat, "Listen, Stacey, her boyfriend is really concerned. When she left, she left with nothing; no ID, no money, no keys, no phone. She's out there by herself in the middle of the night with nothing and could be in danger. We just want to get her home safe."

Stacey hesitated for a moment, then rolled her eyes in frustration, "Look, I don't know what she was doing while she was here but before she left I gave her directions to the closest Brown Cub Diner, over on Carson street. I assume that's where she was headed next? Left about 30 minutes ago."

Dean looked like he was going to blow a gasket at that information but Sam was elated, "Great! Thank you for your help."

The three of them turned to leave and she followed them back to the front desk.

Sam and Castiel shared an eye roll as Dean held the door open and muttered furiously, "After all this, she's going to the diner for my pancakes?!"

Sam paused in the doorway and turned back to when Stacey called, "Officer Grohl!" Dean looked back as well and Stacey lobbed, "I don't need any more confused straight girl drama. If you find her, tell her to lose my number!"

"Wha?" Dean was very confused.

Sam was too but they didn't have time for it, so he called back, "Sure thing!" before grabbing his brother and pulling him out the door, "C'mon."

They made it to the diner but were unfortunately no closer to finding her. According to the waitress inside, a woman matching her description came in almost an hour prior, bought nearly two bags worth of to-go food, and left. The best they had was a direction. Dean pulled the car back onto the main street through town in said direction while Sam searched carefully out the window for any sign of her. He was very worried. If anything happened to her… he didn't want to think about it.

"Well this is great. Just great, Sammy." Dean was furious, and Sam seemed like the easiest one to take it out on, considering he hadn't let Dean get any food at the diner. Maybe Dean was also a little worried that they wouldn't find George but that was no one's business but his. "What do we do now that we've lost your confused-straight-girl friend, huh? Cas can't sense her because she's not human apparently, so how are we going to find her?"

Sam's neck snapped back and he glared at Cas, "You told him about that?"

"I didn't say she wasn't human. I said maybe not entirely human," Castiel said softly. The more time he spent with her the more he liked her and, though he was still suspicious of her, the suspicion made him feel guilty. But he'd already spilled the beans earlier to Dean when Sam was inside the gas station.

"Why didn't you tell me about it?"

"Uh-about what? George being… 'fuzzy'?" Sam mocked defensively. "What's there to say? We don't know if that means anything. Even Cas isn't sure what to think. She's from an alternate dimension for Christ's sake, it stands to reason she'd be a little fuzzy!"

Dean and Cas were quiet in response to Sam's outburst. They could tell he was a bit on edge.

Even so, Dean muttered, "Listen, I get it. It's not a lot to go on, and if you ask me, the only thing she's a real threat to is your abstinence." Sam clenched his jaw and glared, nostrils flaring as Dean smirked proudly. "But, that's something we should both get the opportunity to decide together. I get that the two of you have history," Sam turned his head and looked out the window guiltily, "and you've got all the feelings now, but she didn't step into the Sam Winchester show. We're brothers and we're in this together. When you start hiding things from me, shit blows up and the next thing you know you've jump-started another apocalypse, alright? Both our lives get affected by this stuff; you just gotta keep me in the loop."

Sam stayed silent but unclenched slowly in his seat. He knew Dean was right, it was irresponsible, dangerous, and unfair to keep things from each other; he wanted to agree to those terms but he wasn't sure if he could. Would it mean having to tell Dean about the dream? No, right? For his own sanity, he'd decided that the woman in the dream couldn't be George, so they weren't related… but his feelings were obviously the reason for Sam's recent missteps, so how was he supposed to explain himself without mentioning it? He was very conflicted.

As he continued scanning the area Sam felt a pull in the pit of his stomach and he leaned forward in his seat. Spotting a sign for the Motel 6, he sat forward like his whole body was being wrenched toward it.

He pointed, "Dean, there."

"What about it?" Castiel asked curiously, as they both looked toward the motel.

"She's-" Sam began confidently and then stopped. How could he say this without seeming crazy? "Maybe she's there?" He tried to sound casual while stopped at the red light just before the motel, "It's possible right?" Dean and Cas shared a look and then Dean stared at him suspiciously. He explained quickly, "Where else is she gonna go with all that food? We can at least just go ask," Sam offered, defensively.

"Fine." Dean grumbled in exhaustion and pulled into the parking lot once the light turned green.

After having gone inside to ask the clerk if they'd seen a woman matching George's description, Dean was walking back to the car and seemed relieved, but still pissed. "Jerry Garcia behind the desk says little miss runaway checked in about 30 minutes ago. Room 24." Dean pointed to a room on the second floor of the motel as he got close enough to Sam and Cas to relay the information.

"Are they sure it's her?" Sam asked anxiously. He wasn't sure if he was happy or freaked out. He definitely wanted to find her, of course, but this strange feeling of knowing where she was was very unnerving.

"Based on my description, which included the phrase 'confusingly endearing blabbermouth,' he seemed pretty sure," Dean shrugged. "Which begs the question-"

"How did you know she'd be here?" Cas asked while he and Dean gave him matching accusatory stares, waiting patiently for his explanation.

"I don't know-I mean, I didn't! I didn't know. I just…" Sam searched for something plausible but came up empty, "lucky guess?" Dean gave him a 'wtf' look, obviously wanting more of an explanation for how Sam was able to find the world's smallest needle in the world's largest haystack. Sam became exasperated; he wasn't able to fully explain it to himself, let alone to anyone else. "I don't know! I guess I just figured with her cab and pie expenses, she's probably low on cash. This is the cheapest motel in the area, so it just stands to reason that she'd have come here, alright?!"

"OK, man, don't blow a gasket. We found her, let's just go get her, so we can get the hell out of here." Dean had lost all patience at this point. They'd wasted the last three hours driving left, right, and center of Nevada to track her down, not knowing whether they'd find her alive or not. All he wanted to do now was to strangle-er, wrangle her back into the car and go get Jack. He'd had enough of Nevada and her shenanigans, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't also want some of that food she'd ordered!

The three of them headed toward room 24. They approached the door and were just about to knock when it opened lazily. George was standing on the other side, seemingly unscathed. She didn't seem at all surprised to see the three men outside her room; as if she'd opened the door in response to their arrival. Her eyes were bloodshot like she'd been crying and she was "dressed" in only one towel wrapped around her body and one twisted atop her head.

"Come on in," she sniffled flatly, turning away from them. In her towel dress, Sam couldn't help but notice that the bright ink he'd seen glimpses of on her calf not only stretched down onto her foot but also up her thigh, disappearing under the towel; it looked like the same colors he'd seen on her waist earlier as well. He still couldn't make out what it was supposed to be but his curiosity definitely piqued.

After they'd exchanged a few confused looks, it took the stunned men a good 15 seconds to snap out of it. With a shrug Dean stomped into the room, Sam following closely behind, and Castiel shutting the door behind them. She walked over to a chair across the small room and flopped down dejectedly.

Once inside, they stood in awkward silence, not a clue how to respond to the sight in front of them. Dean especially had been ready to rip her a new one for the stunt she'd pulled. He hesitated now, seeing her so sad and pathetic; the fact that she didn't have any clothes on made it challenging, too. But this anger had been building for three hours and even a sad, naked woman wasn't going to be saved from his hangry wrath.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" Dean began ranting at her and pacing around the tiny room. "Do you know how dangerous it was to run like that? We've been driving around for hours, worried out of our minds that you'd been hurt or worse, with no way to find you-and I never got my damn pie!" He gave her his best angry dad face, pausing for her to provide an explanation.

At the mention of food, she got up and walked to the nightstand by the bed, which had a large brown bag filled to the brim with takeout boxes set on top. She pulled out the two stacks of boxes and set them back down on the nightstand, tossing the bag aside. She grabbed the top box and checked to make sure it was the right one before walking over and handing it to Dean.

"Here you go. A slice of strawberry rhubarb pie and a double stack of sweet cream pancakes." She went back to her chair and sat down again, slumping forward and laying her head face down on the wooden table next to her. "I didn't know what kind of pie you'd like, so I got one slice of each, they're in the other boxes on the nightstand. Help yourself." Came her muffled voice as she spoke into the table.

The three of them looked over at all the takeout boxes and then at each other in shock. Dean nearly shed a happy tear. He hesitated for a moment, worried that it might seem insensitive to start eating, but she did say to help himself. Eventually he grabbed a plastic fork from the discarded bag and plopped down on the bed to dig in, ignoring Sam and Castiel's judgmental looks.

"How did you know we were coming?" Castiel finally asked, gobsmacked.

"Dunno, just did." George shrugged. Castiel gave Sam a concerned look, Dean was too busy eating-if you could call it that, it was more like inhaling-to notice.

"George, can you tell us what happened?" Sam began in a gentle voice. "Why did you leave? Where were you going?"

She lifted her head and looked at him, a devastated, frightened look on her face, "Home." He frowned unconsciously and she winced, "I'm sorry, I don't really know what I was thinking. I just thought I saw--I just--ugh, just being so close to home I realized how insane the last few weeks of my life have been and I panicked!" She shouted defensively. Then she sighed and shrugged, "I simply panicked and ran. Trying to get to the only safe place I could think: home."

She paused for a moment and the three men shared understanding, yet uncomfortable looks. Welling up a bit she croaked, "But it doesn't exist. My home doesn't exist. My family doesn't exist. I don't exist!" At that she burst into tears again and hung her head, the towel atop falling away clumsily. Her long wet hair fell forward and draped down over her knees. The three guys froze, half a pancake hanging out of Dean's mouth, looking at each other like "wtf do we do?"

Sam wanted to comfort her. Truthfully, the second she opened the door he'd wanted to grab her and not let go; 'relieved' didn't even begin to cover it. But this whole situation was so very complicated. He was undeniably drawn to her--unnervingly, so--but felt deeply ashamed of his history and had convinced himself that she was just being polite and friendly as a fan of the show. Therefore, he was trying to be respectful and maintain appropriate distance.

When he caught his brother's eye again, Dean motioned for him to go to her as if to say "you're up dude!" Sam scrunched his nose at him before hesitantly moving to her side and carefully pulling her into an awkward side hug against his knees. To his surprise, she stood up suddenly and hugged him tight. Instinctively, he wrapped both arms around her, too, and closed his eyes briefly, relishing the feeling of her in his arms again. It was strangely familiar and comforting, as though she was made to fit perfectly there.

When his eyes opened again, he ignored the smirking look of approval on Dean's face , and asked her quietly, "What do you mean, you don't exist?"

Pulling herself together after a moment, George pulled back and clumsily tried to wipe her snot from Sam's jacket. Dean made a yuck face, shoveling another bite of half pie half pancake into his mouth. Sam was too busy trying to ignore the sudden cold, empty feeling and the strange ache in his chest from the loss of her to notice the snot.

Way to maintain an appropriate distance, dude.

"According to historical records, my grandparents were killed in a house fire shortly after my Aunt Lorna-who was the oldest of my mother's siblings-was born." She reached over to grab a couple pieces of printed paper which were sitting on the opposite side of the table and handed them to Sam. "Copy of the newspaper article about the fire from 1963," she explained. While he scanned the pages quickly, she grabbed a hand towel from the vanity, wetting it at the sink and then rubbing it over her face as if to wash away the sadness. With a sigh she continued, "Second page, half way down: Franklin and Bernadette Byrne. My grandparents. Dead. 5 years before my mom was born."

"That would mean-" Cas began to state the obvious but was cut off by George.

"My mother was never born in this stupid reality! And if she was never born, then I was never born and I shouldn't exist-I don't exist! Here! Wherever here is?" She began pacing in the small room as she spoke out loud, "A television show? But that makes no sense because you all are terrible actors. A dream? That was certainly my first theory, considering it's obviously not the first time I've had sex dreams about fictional characters, not even the first one I've had about The Winchesters-or you, Cas; and I promise it was always Misha-" Sam and Dean exchanged "yikes" looks; she was rambling. Suddenly she stopped and took a deep breath before continuing, "But-but something about this experience seems far more real and distinctly un-dream like. But it also doesn't feel like my real life because ever since I've been here I've felt weirdly… comfortable? The pain is gone and I can actually listen to my instincts which feel heightened somehow; I trust them now more than ever! Which feels like it means I'm supposed to be here, like I'm where I'm meant to be." Sam tried not to look too happy about that statement, as she gave a pain expression before saying, "But how can that be if I don't exist?" She paused only briefly and then turned on her heel and started again, "Or, does it make sense that I don't exist here already because if I did, there'd be two of me in one universe and I suppose that could cause some kind of paradox? Maybe-"

"OK, time out!" Dean stood up and put his half finished food down. He turned to look at her for a split-second before turning back around and picking the food up again. He spoke to her between bites, "it's been a long day and we're all too tired to get into paradoxes right now. Why don't we go see if we can get adjoining rooms and try to get some shut eye. Give ourselves a little time to rest, recharge, and then we can talk things through in the morning? How does that sound?" Dean's mood had improved exponentially now that he'd had some food in him and his offer was tempting to everyone. George felt like a spinning top that would never slow down and figured maybe sleep wouldn't be so bad, so she just shrugged concedingly.

"Sam and I will go talk to the front desk about the rooms." Castiel wanted to talk to Sam alone.

"And I'll stay here and supervise the pie while you take a nice hot bath to relax, OK?" Dean took the last bite of the food in his first takeout box and tossed it into the trash before nudging George in the direction of the bathroom. She gave a loud sigh in faux-test but went and started the bath anyway. She'd already showered but he had a point; a hot bath would probably help her relax enough to sleep. Cas and Sam headed out the door while Dean grabbed a second take out box and they heard an excited "Cherry! Score!" as the door shut behind them.

"Sam, I'm concerned," Cas stated as they were walking to the lobby building.

"You don't think they're going to have adjoining rooms available?"

"Not about the hotel, about George," Castiel clarified. "I'm concerned about how she says she's feeling."

"Cas, it's totally natural for humans to feel sad. She was ripped out of her world and plopped into what she thinks is a TV show and then she finds out she doesn't exist? I mean, it'd be overwhelming for anyone. When Dean and I got stuck in her reality, it was-"

"I'm not concerned about her emotional state, Sam," Castiel stopped Sam from walking and made him turn to look at him. "I'm concerned about her saying she feels like she's meant to be here? Like her 'instincts are heightened'?" Castiel questioned, checking to see if Sam had heard that too.

"So, what's wrong with that? Maybe we've just been making her feel so at home that she's having a nice time." Sam felt defensive; he'd been nothing but selfishly happy that she seemed to feel so comfortable here. Hoping beyond hope that maybe he might be part of the reason why. Questioning that was a can of worms he wanted to keep tightly closed.

Cas gave him a look, "It's more than that. You saw all that food in there, how she opened the door as we approached." Castiel shook his head, a suspicious look on his face. "I think this goes beyond good hospitality…" he trailed off though, as he really wasn't sure what this was. Every time he was around her, he felt a niggling sense of dread that he couldn't shake and the more she displayed this strange, coincidental clairvoyance, the more the dread grew. Yet she was an inarguably pleasant human, who had been nothing but kind and friendly to him. If only he could sense her, he'd feel a lot better.

"What? You think it's something bad? Something to be concerned about?" Sam didn't see what all the fuss was about. Sure, she'd had food waiting for them-Dean's always hungry and she maybe felt like she needed a peace offering? And she opened a door five seconds before they knocked-maybe their footsteps were rattling the wall of the rickety old motel, who knows? Sam didn't see the relevance either way.

"I don't know," Cas admitted finally.

"OK, then let's just get some shut-eye for now and like Dean said, we can talk about all of this, including your concerns, in the morning, yea?" Cas conceded begrudgingly since he knew humans tended to function better after having slept.