#We're Doomed || Angry aesthetic

[hylaversicolor]

37, 38, 69, and 80 ! :>

ty for your ask !

37. when creating characters, what comes first: appearance, backstory, motivation, personality, something else?

my way back og characters (more on them later) were appearance and backstory based at first. now i tend to go with motivation and personality.

38. how many stories do you work on at one time?

actively? one. i have a few ongoing projects in the background though. stares forlornly at the 1.5 chapters of my webcomic, thinking about how we're only on the prologue

69. how do you write emotional scenes? do you ever feel what the characters feel?

i mean on some level, yes. when i’m actually writing the scene though i’m not like. acutely feeling the emotions, more like i’m eavesdropping on them as they go thru their thing. a lot of moments in my stories are based on things i’ve either felt or done or both. i have had a VERY similar experience to ocelot in sunday kind of love, for example. SIGH

80. do you try to put themes, motifs, messages, morals, etc in your writing? if so, how do you go about it?

for longer stories, absolutely i put themes and motifs. i’m not really interested in putting “””morals””” in my stories though, i think morals are more for the reader to glean from the themes and motifs, and you can take whatever you want from what is in there, it’s not my business lol. the moral of western pleasure could be anything from “doing drugs is bad” to “don’t kill your business partner” to “stick by the person who understands you even if the relationship is unhealthy codependent and doomed” <- wouldn’t recommend this btw.

but as for themes and motifs in western pleasure…there’s a lot. i really wanted to have this idea of female rage and kaz feeling like she’s at her most powerful and feminine when she’s angry. you can see this in kaz and in kitty too, who is really there to be a foil to kaz, i actually think my original character note for her was something like “need a lady for kaz to develop off of.”

also this one is more basic, but i wanted to make the connection between diamonds and stars in the fic, and then between kaz and diamonds, so at the beginning there are snowflakes that resemble stars but everything is hazy, showing that kaz isn’t ready to confront Gender yet, and then as the fic progresses there are a few more scattered references to stars, kaz describes herself as The diamond dog and has a few other connections to diamonds. then in the very last scene, when kaz has officially come out and has accepted wanting to be a woman, the stars are out. (but they might not stay out, implying that this might not have a happy ending.) so it’s something that you can see in the actual text of the story but i also wanted to show it thru symbolism because i like making things as complicated as possible lol.

and then there’s the title of the fic itself, which (i think) is a fun little pun with a few different layers to it. kaz and ocelot both have a somewhat fraught relationship to The West, because it is something that they both aspire towards but are sort of repulsed by at the same time. for kaz this is because she’s neither japanese nor american and rejects the idea of nations; ocelot because he doesn’t really belong anywhere but still chases the aesthetics of the idyllic western cowboy. we also have “””pleasure””” because of drugs, and schemes, and money and whatnot. and also “”western pleasure”” as a whole because of the notion of a horse moving in a very unnatural way to provide comfort to the rider, not necessarily because that’s its natural gait but because it has been trained that way, and what that might mean in the context of a hetero and cisnormative society. and also ocelot’s past and his connection to the boss and how he might carry that relationship with him into the present wrt horses. <- this explanation is a hot mess

[silntstrikr]

Anonymous asked: cinnamon, mud, friendship bracelets, autumn, Found from Steven Universe

Aesthetics || Accepting

[wednesdaywrites]

ryan wakes up in a strange place surrounded by dangerous creatures and familiar people. can she keep it together long enough to get out alive?

leon s kennedy x oc

warning: canon typical violence

lowercase is an aesthetic choice

masterlist

her eyes fluttered open like a scene in a movie.

        she lifted her head with a soft groan, taking in her surroundings.

        she definitely wasn’t in her bed.

        she pushed herself into a sitting position. the room was faintly lit and dust attacked her nostrils.

        something about the room seemed familiar, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

        to her left, she took note of a bunch of couches.

        why couldn’t she have woken up on one of those, rather than the cold-ass ground?

        she struggled to her feet, cringing at a sharp pain in her side. poking at the area gently, she found the tips of her fingers covered in blood. she was bleeding—why was she bleeding?

        she couldn’t take the time to inspect the wound. a deep sense of panic was urging her to move.

        the way behind her was blocked by a shutter door, like the ones used to close up stores at the mall, and she couldn’t get her fingers under to even try to lift it or fit her arm through to feel for a switch.

        this place seems really familiar, she thought, looking at the massive room on the other side.

        she turned back to the way hidden behind a room divider. the sense of panic spiked. she took a step in that direction. more panic. fuck it, and with that thought, she swung around the divider. she slowly pushed the door open, finding herself faced with a long, dark, extremely terrifying corridor. she knew she had no choice but to go this way, so she continued. she detected a faint metallic scent, and even in the dark, she could make out a form slouched at the end of the hallway.

        “hello. . . ?” she called softly, approaching slowly. the sound of static, and a frantic voice, hit her ears.

        “hello?” she repeated, but she knew it was pointless. it didn’t take an idiot to know the man was dead.

        the voice on the walkie talkie on his shoulder promised a touchdown at rpd.

        rpd?

        curiosity got the better of her, and she carefully lifted the dead man’s head, gasping in horror at the sight.

        the flesh on his face was cut deep from edge to edge and his throat looked like it had been torn open. his jaw started to sag from the rest of his face.

        she made a noise of disgust, falling back on her ass. she barely noticed the body flinging itself against the window in front of her.

        the glass shattered like it was paper-thin, and the body flopped in practically right on top of her.

        she couldn't help the scream that came from her mouth—big mistake.

        there were angry snarls down the hall to her right.

        she scrambled to her feet as the body before her reached for her, taking off the way she had come. she heard the march of the dead behind her as she hit the room divider, nearly falling through it as she slammed the door shut. she took the table on the other side of the divider and dragged it in the way. she rushed to the window and tried frantically to get it open. she was met with another body flinging itself against the glass.

        with a cry, she toppled backward over the couch behind her. she heard the dead trying to bust the door down.

        she was trapped.

        “hello?”

        she looked to see a boy—man?—not much older than her looking in at her.

        “hello?!” she scrambled to the shutter door, pulling at it pathetically. “h-hey! open the door! please open the fucking door!”

        “hold on!”

        the door gave way, and she heard the dead hit her barricade.

        “hurry!”

        “i got it!”

        the door whirred, but it was too slow for comfort. it barely cracked when the first body flopped over the barricade. she kicked the body in the head, turning back to the door. once it was open enough for her to get through, she swung her legs under, grabbing the bottom and pulling herself under.

        if she was gonna die, she figured getting her throat torn out would be quicker than getting eviscerated.

        gentle but frantic hands grabbed her arms and pulled her away just as rotting hands reached under the door.

        “take this!”

        the boy—man, shit—pressed a knife into her hands, and her instinct took over.

        she knelt as heads appeared under the door, stabbing swiftly as the man shot.

        once she was sure the last was dead, she let herself relax.

        “thank you. . .” she breathed, holding out the knife.

        “keep it. . .” she looked up to see him offering his hand; she took it and he helped her up. her ankle hurt from falling over the couch. “at least until we find you a gun.”

        “i’m ryan. . .” she offered weakly.

        he cracked a polite, comforting smile. “leon.”

        leon. . . suddenly it all made sense. . .

        she was in fucking raccoon city. . .

        “how long have you been here?” he asked, giving the place a quick scan.

        “i. . . i don’t know. . . i just woke up here. . . i think i’m way far away from fucking home. . .”

        “hey. . . breath, alright?” he grabbed her shoulders. “we're gonna get out of here, okay? you, me, and claire.”

        “claire?” she mused rhetorically.

        he nodded. “i just met her. she should be here any minute.”

        “we should look around, right? try to find a way out of here?”

        “yeah,” leon said. “i was about to check the cameras when i heard you.”

        she followed him to the computer on the front desk, peering over his shoulder at the screen.

        “there has to be someone here. . .” he said, bringing up the cctv control.

        “hey. . .” she pointed to the fourth camera, which showed another officer firing at an unseen threat.

        probably more dead.

        “not good. . .” leon switched angles as the man ran down the hallway.

        “david! marvin!” the officer looked into the camera. “you there?!”

        “i found a way out!” he continued, showing a small notebook to the camera. “it’s in here!”

        she couldn’t look as the dead got closer.

        “send reinforcements! east hallway!”

        leon brought up a map of the east side of the building. “we gotta find that guy.”

        “after you, officer friendly. . .”

        they turned to another shutter door, painted blue with rpd stenciled on. . . with a card board sign reading “keep out" taped over.

        “inviting. . .” she quipped dryly.

        leon shook his head, clearly amused but trying to hide it. he pulled the lever beside the door; it creaked open, getting stuck with just enough clearance to be crawled under.

        “into the rabbit hole we go. . .” ryan gagged as leon shined his flashlight under the door, revealing a thick puddle of blood. “blech!”

        leon said nothing as he crawled under the door, shining his light down the hallway. he gave her a thumbs-up under the door and, with a whine, she followed him through.

        “okay. . .” he breathed, facing the dark abyss in front of them.

        it took everything in her not to cling to his arm like a goddamn child. the dead weren’t new to her, but this environment was.

        she turned to the wall, where a fuse box was perched, missing a fuse. “looks like we have some searching to do. . .”

        “we'll look later—we have to hurry.”

        “right.”

        as they navigated the darkness of the hallway with his disturbingly-bright flashlight lighting the way, she had to resist the urge to take point. back where she was from, she usually led these kinds of operations.

        “you got this. . .”

        she almost cried at his tiny self-pep talk; she probably wasn’t supposed to hear, but she did.

        there were gun shots from deep in the darkness and they broke into a run. turning the corner, they found their path blocked by a tipped filing cabinet.

        nearby, she noticed a boarded-up door creaking as if something was pushing up against it.

        “i don’t like the sound of that. . .” she commented aloud.

        leon grabbed the cabinet. “c'mon, help me move this.”

        she ducked between his arms, grabbing the cabinet herself and helping him hoist it back into place.

        “nice, helping me feel useful.”

        “let's go.”

        to their left, the hallway was blocked with an assortment of stuff, but she knew that wasn’t the way. back in the darkness, more gunshots rang.

        “c'mon!”

        she took off running, braving the dark for someone she knew was doomed. she heard him behind her as she stopped at a desk embedded in the wall, groaning at the sight of bodies on the floor.

        “jesus!”

        tell me about it, she thought.

        “open up! hurry!” she spun to face the room. “open up! open this goddamn door!”

        she pushed past leon and forced the door open, sliding over the desk and landing on her knees in front of the shutter door.

        “hold on! we got you!” she squeezed her fingers under the door. “leon!”

        “we'll get you out!” leon assured, helping her lift the door.

        “help!” a hand shot under the door. “please! help me!”

        “give me your hand!” leon took hold of the hand, trying to pull the man through. “i got you.”

        ryan tried to keep the door open enough for him to come through without resistance.

        “give me your other hand!” leon said as the man turned, reaching for him.

        suddenly, he screamed in pain and blood erupted everywhere. she closed her eyes as his screaming threatened to force memories to the front of her mind.

        “leon!”

        “hang in there!” she wasn’t sure if he was talking to the poor cop or her.

        almost as suddenly as it had started, the screaming stopped and something told her to let go of the door. right as she did, a dead hand thrust itself under the door, being severed by the heavy metal door.

        “oh my god. . . jesus christ. . .”

        she turned to the scene beside her, whimpering slightly. she had seen worse, but being so close. . .

the poor guy. . . the dead had torn into him so brutally it bisected him at the waist. . .

she felt sick.

        the sound of banging on the door brought her back to her senses with a sharp gasp.

        leon picked up the tiny notebook that had fallen out of the officer’s hand and shoved it in his pocket, crawling over to her, grabbing her shoulders, and lifting her with him.

        “we could have saved him. . .” she mumbled numbly.

        “hey, hey. . .” he lifted her chin. “there was nothing we could have done.”

        she could tell he wanted to believe it, but she knew he was beating himself up, too.

        the door behind them busted open and leon pushed her behind him, raising his gun at the offender.

        “stay back!”

        “leon, shoot!” she cried.

        he pulled the trigger and hit the uniformed walker between the eyes. it barely moved it, so leon just shoved it aside, keeping himself between it and her as he backed them out of the room.

        the corner window busted inwards as a walker rammed itself in.

        “go, go!”

        she took off running, followed closely by leon. she turned the way they had come, almost making it to the end of the hall before another door busted open.

        two walkers came at her, and she just barely managed to get the knife out as they came at her. she stopped the one to her left with her arm under its chin, bringing the knife up so the one to her right stabbed itself in the head. the knife got stuck as the walker fell, nearly taking her down with it.

        “ryan!”

        she used the force of the other walker pushing against her to throw it to the side. “come on!”

        they hurried back to the door, but part of it had fallen so only one of them could get through at a time, and they didn’t have time to lift it.

        “go!”

        she wanted to protest that his life was more valuable than hers, but decided against it and scrambled under as quickly as she could.

        leon crawled out after her, but right before he got his legs out, a walker grabbed them, trying to pull him back in.

        “leon!” she got her arms under his shoulders, kicking the walker in the head as she helped leon pull himself free.

        suddenly, a man came out of nowhere, forcing the shutter door closed on the walker's head with his foot.

        she looked up to see a deathly pale dark-skinned man looking down at them, holding onto his side.

        “you’re safe. . .” he said, “for now.”

        “thanks. . .” leon said, relaxing back against ryan, who realized she still had her arms around him.

        oops?

        “marvin branagh.”

        marvin. . .

        “leon kennedy.” leon pointed over his shoulder at her. “this is ryan. . . ?”

        “branson,” she finished awkwardly.

        “there was another officer. . .” leon said. “we couldn’t. . . i couldn’t. . .”

        there was the beating up. . .

        marvin came to them, holding out his hand. “here. . .”

        leon took his hand, and the injured man helped the perfectly fine man to his feet. he turned to help ryan up, but she had already stood on her own.

        “i’m sure you did what you could, leon,” marvin said, making his way up to an area blocked off by privacy screens.

        as leon changed into his uniform, ryan wandered around the hall. the whole place was so beautiful—so ornate. it was hard to believe it was a police station. she walked behind the front desk, taking note of a typewriter sitting atop the desk and a large storage box standing next to the computer they had checked the cameras on.

hm.

“ryan?”

“here—” she called, hurrying around the desk and back up the ramp to the back of the hall.

leon looked relieved that she hadn’t run off.

        damn, he looked good in uniform.

        shut up, ryan.

        “does anyone know what started this?” he asked.

        “not a clue,” marvin said, looking at something on his tiny nineties computer.

        ryan came closer, trying not to look at leon too much.

        “but honestly,” marvin continued, “all you need to know is that this place will eat you alive if you aren’t careful.”

        “you’re telling us. . .” ryan deadpanned.

        leon ignored her. “yeah, well. . . i was supposed to start last week and i got a call to stay away. i wish i’d come here sooner.”

        “you’re here now, leon. that’s all that matters. and your girlfriend, too, i suppose.”

        “she's not my—”

        “i’m not his—”

        the mistake didn’t faze marvin, who turned his attention to the notebook leon had taken off the dead officer.

        “okay, lieutenant, i’m ready.”

        what a sweet boy, ryan mused internally. the whole city’s gone to shit and he’s still keeping with formalities. 

        “hopefully, you’ll be able to find a way out of this station,” marvin said. “that officer you met earlier—elliot—he thought this secret passageway might do the trick.”

        leon took the notebook from him, turning it to examine it; ryan peeked over his shoulder to get a look at the tiny drawings.

        “this is good news,” leon said. “we can get you to a hospital.”

        she and marvin shared a knowing look.

        “no.” marvin shook his head. “no. i am not the priority here.”

        “lieutenant, i’m not just gonna leave you here—”

        “i’m giving you an order, rookie,” marvin snapped. “you save yourself and that girl first. i’d come with you, but i’d just slow you down. . .”

        leon looked away for a moment.

        “now. . . you’ll need this.” marvin pulled a knife sheath from his belt.

        “i can't take—”

        “stop.” when leon went to take the knife, he pulled him close. “and don’t make my mistake. if you see one of those things—uniform or not—you do not hesitate. you take it out. . . or you run. got it?”

        leon nodded. “yes, sir.”

        marvin looked at her and she quickly nodded. “got it.”

        he sank back down to the couch, grunting in pain. she moved forward to help, but how she could help, she wasn’t sure.

        as leon walked away to assess their plan, marvin waved her over.

        “you keep his ass in line, okay? you look like you’ve seen some shit—you know, he doesn’t.”

        she cracked a weak smile. “yes, sir.”

[silntstrikr]

runningracingdancingchasing asked: I associate the girls with red face paint/woad, leafy forests, fur and leather, and pancakes!

Aesthetics || Accepting

[silntstrikr]

droppingdonkeys asked: I associate the silent strikers ( ;) ) with lilies, tree houses, swings, leatherbound books, gold jewelery

Asthetics || Accepting

[silntstrikr]

*   [   COLOUR  AESTHETICS.   ]

[   BLUE   ]

cloudless    sky    /    ocean    waves   /    winter    dusk    /    deserted    rest    stops    /    dust    filled    book    jackets   /    sea    salt    in    your    lungs    /    open    space    lofts    /   mountainside    meditation    /    empty    ski    lodges    /   calm    before    storms    /    electric    charged    air    /   lighthouses   /    road    trips    with    no    destination    /    desert    skies    /    summer    breeze    through    a    cottage    window   /   cool    air    against    water    soaked    skin    /    seaside    towns    during    off    season    /    wind-chimes   /   big    bed    with    lots    of    blankets   /   coming    home    after    a    long    time    away  /   a    wolf    howling    in    the    distance   /    fingers    dancing    along    spine   /    a    hug    from    an    old    friend    /    afternoon    tea   /    wild    flowers    off    abandoned    highways

[   RED   ]

wine    soaked    lips    /    internalized    rage    /    blood    on    knuckles   /   four    poster    beds  /  barefoot    on    marble    floor  /    velvet    drapes   /    lipstick    marks    /    murder    /    old    barns    with    hay    lofts    /   mouth    full    of    weapons   /    possessive    love    /    dark    chocolate    /   apple    orchard    visits    /    handwritten    letters    /    fresh    strawberry    fields   /    cherry    flavored    chapstick    /    soft    candlelight   /   vintage    pumps    /    tingles    over    your    body   /    strong    but    gentle    hand    around    your    throat   /    scarf    tied    over    your    eyes    /   fog    on    a    rainy    night   /    intimate    bar    settings    /   complete    destruction    /    kiss    swollen    lips    /   scratches    against    flesh    /    sitting    by    a    fireplace    /    blood    orange    sunsets

[   YELLOW   ]

community    gardens    /   sunflower    seeds   /    open    fields    /   blowing    dandelion    fluffs  /    bubbles    in    spring    /   warm    champagne   /   drafty    cottages    opened    after    winter    /    soft    buzzing    near    your    ear    /   loose    braids    /   flaxen    sundresses   /    handmade    straw    hats    /   warm    butter    on    fresh    toast    /    daisy    chains    /    drum    circles    /    sun    on    your    face    /    maypoles    /    outdoor    festivals    /    street    food    /    car    shows    /    pop    art    drawings    /    fruity    flavors    /   mist    on    produce    /   running    through    sprinklers   /   cucumber    water   /   wrap    around    porches   /   worn    pages    of    a    book    /   honey    in    tea    /    yard    sales    /    freckled    skin    /    tarnished    gold    lockets   /    angel    food    cake    /    windmills    /   flashlight    beams

[   GREEN   ]

marshy    swamps    /    cajun    recipes    /   haunted    graveyards    /    old    road    signs   /    the    house    people    tell    stories    about    /    lights    flickering    /   jazz    music   /    twig    snapping  /   campfires    /    ghost    stories    /   urban    exploration   /    vines    creeping    up    brick    /    wooden    flutes    /   quiet    forests   /    labored    breaths    /   hiking    trails  /    rain    on    leaves   /    bonfires    /    fresh    smoothies    /    water    logged    grottos    /    painful    whispers    from    jealous    lovers    /    successful    business    ventures    /   leaky    cellars    /   park    theater    productions   /    mint    scented    lotions    /   ambitious    promises    /    pine    needle    covered    floors    /    oil    lanterns    /    aloe    on    warmed    skin    /    crushing    floral    foam    /   forgotten    towns

[   BLACK   ]

crinkle    of    leather    jacket    /    midnight    walks    /  bulbs    burning    out   /    black    lacquered    nails    /    the    sound    of    bats    screeching    /    distant    marching    band    music    /   noises    when    you’re    home    alone    /    blood    soaked    knife    /    dark    lipstick    on    pale    skin   /    scent    of    sulfur    /    soot    on    boots  /    slasher    movies    /   glint    of    cat    eyes    in    the    dark    /    oil    slicks    on    dark    asphalt    /    basement    bedrooms    /    investigating    a    noise    /    grainy    camera    footage    /    black    and    white    photos    /    dust    filled    attics    /    empty    theaters    /   whistling    in    the    middle    of    the    night   /   scratches    at    your    window   /   wrought    iron    gates    /    lace    neck    ruffles    /   long    floor    sweeping    skirts    /   broken    music    boxes   /    needle    scratching    on    vinyl    /    lost    memories    /    disembodied    voices    /    forgotten    faces

[   WHITE   ]

crisp    scents  /   laundry    on    a    line    /    fleece    blankets   /   brightly    lit    hospital    rooms    /    empty    train    stations    /   genuine    laughter   /    feathers    against    skin    /   new    life    /    cotton    dresses    /   log    cabins    in    winter    /    swan    gliding    through    water    /   harp    music    floating    through    the    air   /    plane    rides    for    fun    /    mountain    tops    /    ice    sculptures    /    first    snowflake    of    winter   /    linen    freshly    pressed   /    the    scent    of    a    running    dryer    /   vanilla    and    cinnamon    milk    /   a    smile    from    a    stranger   /   letters    in    the    mail   /   a    longing    finally    satiated   /   kiss    of    moonlight    on    skin    /    fresh    canvas    /    snow    glittering    like    diamonds    /   paint    strokes    /    pretty    lie    told    from    a    kind    mouth   /    sparklers    /   coffee    foam    art

[silntstrikr]

Anonymous said: 🎮

Mood Board || Accepting

🎮 : mood board for my muse’s interest / hobby