#We want the solution to be big and dramatic and total

[redpiperfox]

But mainly, and really:

[tryingtobemysterious]

cry baby

you walked into hamzahs apartment with blood shot eyes and tear stained cheeks. you immediately caught his attention and he began walking towards you, once he reached you he started taking off your purse from your shoulder and quickly embraced you in a hug

“what happened? what’s got you worked up”

you began ranting about a customer who just wouldn’t give you a break, demand after demand nothing was satisfying her

you finally had enough and left mid shift, the only thing you wanted was to get home and spend time with hamzah

“how bout you take a shower and then we can watch a movie”

you nodded and quickly walked into the bathroom and began you’re regular routine

once you were finished you dressed in your matching pj set and fluffy socks

you walked into the living room and found hamzah on the couch wrapped in a fluffy blanket and snacks in front of him, he noticed you and opened up his arms for you to lay with him

once you settled in his arms he began stroking your hair in an effort to help you relax. you groaned realization hitting you that you’re gonna have to face you’re co workers the next day

“omg maybe I overreacted, I think I need to quit” you began spilling dramatic solutions to get out of dealing with you’re embarrassment

“girl, it’s not that big of a deal. people have done worse they probably won’t remember” you know that could be true. more crazy things have happened before but you’re own brain gets you worked up and doesn’t let you believe his words

in an effort to get your mind off of it he began talking about what video he filmed with Martin that day, they played dress to impress, he kept talking about how it was totally rigged because of his low ratings

“I was literally the baddest in the game, martin didn’t even give me the stars I deserved”

“righhhttt” you said sarcastically, already imaging the wack fits he was probably throwing on “maybe next time I can join you guys I used to always get top 3, I could teach you something”

“girl you know damn well i throw on better fits than you” he remarked

you laughed and jokingly rolled your eyes

“boy let’s just watch the movie”

you picked up the bowl of popcorn while hamzah began playing “Ma” the movie and you chuckled at his movie choice

[jolieblack]

Jolie’s notes on

The Lion’s Mane (Sherlock & co podcast)

Oh, this case made me so happy. 🦁🪼⛴️

Sweet domesticity in Baker Street, then a client ringing the bell bringing a dramatic case… This is another ACD story with quite striking hidden horror. You don’t really think much about the state of the body when you read it, but when you really start thinking about it, it is horrific. And off they go, our heroes, to solve another mystery and right another wrong.

Heroes with a pension plan, of course. Because of course Mariana would have set that up for them all. I love how this show keeps finding modern ways of showing how well Mrs Hudson cares for those two crazy boys.

Heroes who drink tea with marshmallows, too. Sherlock being a big petulant child about those cracked me up.

Loved Maud‘s early reference to tentacles, too. 🦑

Archie being able to sense when people are sad. 🥹

The non-consensual bathroom sharing made me laugh, too, but can people PLEASE just stop making fun of men who sit down to wee? Housewives and cleaning staff all over the world would be so much happier if all men just did.

"It‘s a trolley stuck in a wall." 😂 Trust Jonk to turn absolutely everything into a rant against the rich. 😝

And then they’re off.

Loved this modern version of "Holmes and Watson get on another train for a case", and John waxing poetic about the countryside by night. I have looked out of the window of a night train at the starry sky in the not too distant past myself, so this scene struck a particular chord. But I‘d just love to see more of this reflective, quiet John. He hides him too well usually.

And talking of beautiful, evocative mental images, the moment when Fjara rises out of the sea mist gave me absolute goosebumps. A sight that makes even Sherlock Holmes go "oh my word" must be a sight indeed. And all that with just voices and music. Amazing work.

I also loved how the mythical aspect kinda crept in slowly but unstoppably, and I spent the longest time wondering why Maud had mentioned none of it. In retrospect, of course there was zero reason why she would have. I kinda forgot that Sherlock Holmes stories love playing with our fears of the supernatural, only to supply a completely natural explanation in the end. But that’s quite an achievement in itself! Well played, Joel.

I’m quite happy with the solution as such, too. The original story has always been a little fantastical, that the waters of the British Channel should contain one single organism who could inflict such damage on a human being. But the combination of Lion’s Mane burns, chemical burns, previous fistfight with probably head trauma and quite possibly also a touch of the Martini effect together could totally do it. I’m glad Ian Murdoch survived, btw, I thought he was going to be the third corpse.

I also really appreciated the Lion/Liona throwback to Rache/Rachel in Study in Pink (which seems to confirm to me that we have seen Study in Pink already and it won’t come back).

And the accents! I loooooved the accents. I think they’re a major part of the reason why I listened to this case three or four times before I even managed to pause the flow to take these notes.

Jonk was really taking cringe to a whole new level in his interactions with the locals, though. This is really a part of Watson’s character that they entirely made up for this adaptation and while Paul plays it to perfection, it never sits quite right with me. I’m glad John was his kind and sensitive self with Maud though.

Sherlock wading in rock pools with his trousers rolled up is a mental image that will stay with me for a long while. Check out this lovely art by @noodles-and-tea

"Sexy murderous sea demons?" - "Very, very unlikely." 😂

"We‘re cutting the engine *and* the conversation." & "You are not a priority." 😂

Poor John, nobody wants to hold his hand…

THE JELLYFISH

There’s a reason why the scene with the submarine submersible has inspired a lot of fantastic fanart. I’ll just let these speak for themselves:

Behold the Lion’s Mane by @starfruitsomething

Lion’s Mane by @abstractfrog

The Lion’s Mane Part 3 by @sealbug

The Lion’s Mane by @reibub

Lion’s Mane Comic by @abstractfrog

I’m so glad they went and found Fitzi McPherson in the end, too. I didn’t expect that and it was a lovely touch.

I may also be a tiny bit obsessed with Sherlock competently handling boats. Very happy to see this several times in this story.

All in all, pure enjoyment this time around. Story, atmosphere, humour, acting, straight As all around for the entire team. More, please!

[nnnyxie]

CAN’T WAIT ANY LONGERRR

So this one is angsty (if you squint) basically reader is Bakugos little sibling (by like a year or two to not make it weird) and they grew up together…And this is kinda mean!Izu x reader but whatever

Izu one day just randomly reflects on Bakugos bullying and is like well fuck him and decides to date his younger sibling to fuck with Bakugo as ‚revenge‘

Failing to inform them he was only dating them to fuck with their brother. He‘s still doting and sweet and oh so loving(he also failed to realize he fell for reader fr)…and on one random Tuesday they just overhear him speaking about it like on the phone to his friends being like „yeah Kacchan is totally pissed it worked like a charm“

Reader absolutely breaks down and runs to Kacchan for comfort because big brother is always the solution🤞 so then Izu dosen’t even realize and tries talking to reader and they just cut all contact and Izu panics and realizes what he feels for them but it‘s too late hehe. (I need some sort of happy ending for reader😭)

Bonus ofcourse would be lots and lots of groveling before they eventually restart, or reader moves on if you‘re not the second chance type..revenge is always the answer🫶🏻 idk both ends would be cute Idk when I turned into an angst Whore I used to be a fluff addict😞 #𖢥 izuku anon

SOBS!!! DRAMATICALLY THROWS MYSELF ONTO THE FLOOR!!!! CLAWS AT MY ENCLOSURE!!!!

i’m not much of a second chance person when it comes to this stuff but……. i like fluff……. so we shall see how the ending goes…….. it’s a wild card for the both of us???

(ps there is swearing bc it’s me…) (pps i did add a part where he said ‘fuckin with my blood’ but i originally had like— an adopted sibling in mind?? so just read however you’d like!!) (ppps i added some comfort from our girlies and kiri bc i LOVE them)

for this we’re gonna pretend like the boys have had no progress in friendship and that they HATE each other with a passion and that season 6 didn’t happen!! AND that they’re in their second year while you, darling reader, are a first year at UA!!

okay so. despite katsuki being such an asshole and probably the most difficult person to deal with— he has such a soft spot for his little sibling!!

he makes it known that if anyone fucks with you— he’ll beat them worse than they could ever imagine. you thought his normal threats were bad? oh sweetheart, these are far worse!! he’ll go into solid detail and even give ‘warning’ hits.

enter izuku, your longtime crush. ever since you were kids, you have always liked him. loved him, even. you admire how ambitious he is and how far he’s come.

izuku was dense about your crush at first, in all honesty. it wasn’t until he overheard your conversation with katsuki in the dorm stairs one day!!

it was something along the lines of “you can’t love that nerd!” “but i do! and if he feels the same i don’t want you ruining this for me!” “you’re too good for him! plus you’re too young to date anyways!” “katsuki, i’m not a baby anymore! look— if he ends up rejecting me then i’ll tell you. and you can do whatever you want, okay?” “okay. and if he accepts then, i’ll punch him too.” “katsuki no—”

izuku usually isn’t the type for petty revenge but— katsuki has hurt him for long enough. so this would be a great way to get back at him, right..?

now let’s dive into izuku’s little plan—

like i said before, he isn’t one to do this sort of thing. he really isn’t but— katsuki just… fuels a fire in him that he can’t put out.

izuku thought this little idea was crazy (it is), so he confided in someone about it— can you guess who?? wanna know who??? the one and only…

kaminari denki!!

that is correct, he confides in kaminari. see— izuku doesn’t tell kaminari that the person is katsuki’s little sibling.

izuku just tells him “i want to piss this guy off by dating their younger sibling but, i feel like that’s crazy…” and kaminari says “nah dude, if that person is a piece of shit then i say go for it. i mean— if they’re shitty then their sibling probably is too!”

which is very incorrect— you and katsuki aren’t alike.

well— you are?? but also aren’t??? if that makes sense

anyways… izuku was STUPID and took his advice.

so— izuku enacts his plan. he’ll fake confess to you, in front of katsuki. it has to be in front of him. he’ll date you for a bit to make katsuki mad, lead you on a little, then break up with you. easy peasy right?

wrong.

first off, he did confess in front of katsuki but, katsuki punched him right in the face.

second, when you accepted his confession, katsuki punched him again. this time in the stomach.

but hey— anything for petty revenge… ig…?

anywhooo y’all get into a relationship!! and it’s a dream for you, truly. you’re with the person you’ve been in love with for basically your entire life!! and that person loves you back!!!

literally everyone is jealous because you’re the couple. the blueprint. the outcome. the relationship. (or so you and the others thought….)

the relationship is… healthy? i mean, it is healthy if you ignore the fact that izuku is doing this all to piss off katsuki!!

and oh my god— katsuki is fucking angry. he’s always ‘mean mugging’ izuku. he isn’t doing anything,,, physical because you chewed him out for it. like— you really laid into him when he punched izuku. and you had a very lengthy talk with him. so, he’s keeping his hands to himself— for now.

okay moving on from that??? kaminari doesn’t put two and two together when izuku starts dating you— as much as i love him, he isn’t the brightest bulb in the box! yes he’s smart but c’mon……..

which actually brings me to how you found out!!!

so……. one day you and izuku are just walking down the hall to go to his room, y’all planned a cute movie night!!! (which he was really looking forward to) when the lovely kaminari denki comes strolling up to him.

“hey dude! how’s that revenge thing going? it’s been what?? eight?? months— you piss off the guy yet? is he totally mad that you’re with his sibling?” kaminari had the widest grin— he’s so dumb, bless his heart.

“izuku, what does he mean?” “i— kaminari, i don’t—” “huh? he’s dating some guy’s sibling to piss him off cause the dude’s a total piece of shit and i thought maybe the dude’s sibling was shi—” “kaminari! stop it!” izuku slapped his hand over the blonde’s mouth. all you could say was ‘oh’ then you ran towards katsuki’s room, hoping he’d be in there.

“wait— was— was the guy katsuki and the sibling was them!?” kaminari shouted in surprised (jfc…). izuku sighed with a nod. “dude you fucked up. like really fucked up. they were a total hottie?? and super cool?? plus katsuki is gonna be really pissed.” “i know…”

izuku felt so guilty because he was genuinely beginning to fall for you— like seriously!! he’s in love with you and now everything is ruined. i mean, he knew he’d have to tell you at some point because, no relationship should be built on lies but still !!

when you told your brother— he felt beyond pissed, angry, furious, etc. his emotions were indescribable. katsuki genuinely wanted to kill izuku. yeah, he’s always said ‘i’ll kill you’ but it’s not like he ever actually meant it.

but this time—

he really did mean it. he felt like he could commit murder.

“outside.” katsuki grabbed izuku by the collar of his shirt and dragged him through the dorms.

“wait— kacchan just let me explain!” he panicked, he wanted to tell katsuki that he did love you. that his intentions weren’t good at first but his feelings became real very quickly!

“what dumb ass excuse could you possibly have that would make this fuckin’ situation better!?” katsuki’s left hand sparked as he tossed izuku outside the doors.

“i— i’m not trying to make the situation better! i j-just want to explain!” “you have one minute before i blow your head off.”

“i did it to make you mad at first but— but, i ended up really falling for them! seriously! i w-was going to tell them!” “why the fuck would you even think about doin’ that shit!? even i wouldn’t go that low!” katsuki’s hands grew hot. he was on the verge of becoming a murderer.

“i’m sorry! i really am! i just— i was so mad at you and it was petty revenge!” izuku’s hands were raised in defense. “that shit wasn’t revenge! that was fuckin’ with my blood!” katsuki raised his hand to izuku’s face, getting ready to blast him— but he was stopped. “bakugo, midoriya. nezu’s office, now.” a very tired sounding, aizawa demanded.

while that was going down— you were left in katsuki’s room, crying on his floor.

“uhm— hey, it’s just us…” mina, jirou, and kirishima walked in. you wiped your eyes and nose, you didn’t really like being seen in a vulnerable state. something you and katsuki had in common.

“so we uh… kinda heard about what happened from kaminari.” jirou whispered as her jacks poked together. “i’m sorry, he’s a loud mouth…” “and uhm… your brother isn’t exactly quiet either.” kirishima looked to the ground beside you.

“i kinda heard their conversation… midoriya said he loves you…” mina sat beside you. “so what are you gonna do? are you gonna hear midoriya out..?” you shrugged.

even if he really did begin to love you, how could you ever trust him again? and— what if he was lying to your brother just to get an easy out?

you felt sick— and you felt like a fool. you felt so stupid for thinking that your brother’s enemy could actually have feelings for you. you felt like an idiot.

“i think… i think that, maybe, i could hear his explanation but… i won’t forgive him or give him another chance. i can’t trust him again. plus, i’d look like a fool going back to him…” you mumbled into your arms, your knees were to your chest. the three just gave an understanding nod, then, huddled around you for an awkward but, warm, group hug.

“alright.” you heard your brother’s gruff voice from the doorway. “you three, out. now.” he pointed towards his friends and you watched them leave.

“so… what happened?” you asked, your brother plopped down beside you. sitting in his usual ‘delinquent’ position. “almost murdered him. got stopped by aizawa. got scolded by nezu. now ‘m suspended for 5 weeks. gotta do supplementary classes n’ shit.” “i’m sorry, kats.” he scoffed and gave you an ‘are you fucking serious’ look. “why the fuck are you apologizin’!?” you fiddled your fingers, “i got you in trouble…” he rolled his eyes and lightly smacked the back of your head. “idiot, you didn’t. was all me.”

there was a bit of silence, it was a comfortable one. you and katsuki always shared this sort of quiet.

“did they tell you what happened?” he asked in a hushed tone, referring to his friends. “yeah…” “and…?” “and i’m not gonna forgive him or anything. he lied to me. why would i wanna be with a liar? plus, what if he was lying about actually having feelings for me now? i can’t trust him again.”

katsuki gave you a small, smile. one that said ‘i understand. i’m sorry he did that. i’m here for you. and i love you.’

when it comes to him, words weren’t needed most of the time. looks could tell all. and that look told you everything you needed to hear.

i’ll be so real— i was very a teensy bit drunk writing this… so like if it doesn’t make sense or anything i’m so sorry

[friezaglasiencold]

I know this might be out of the blue (and this somehow turned into a ask Algid blog ) but this is a question for Yamcha

What do YOU like about Frieza or what draw you towards him

(Since ya know he’s a villain)

Hey, it's me. Told Frieza to look away until I post this, haha. He gave me the computer and just said 'go nuts,' so that's a good sign? I'll put it under a cut, cause I'm probably gonna go long, and there's a good chance I'll get a little sentimental. I know he's not into that stuff, so I don't wanna clog up his blog with it.

I haven't gotten the chance to talk about this, really, since the guys don't approve of us 'being together' and all--for obvious reasons--so, I guess first I gotta thank you for asking! It means a lot that you'd think about that, or be worried about that, or whatever. Because, yeah, he is a villain, and it's a pretty big deal.

I know he's a really bad person, basically as bad as it gets (he's kind of like if you put a bunch of real estate scumbags in a blender and then poured the result into a really sexy cup, and then that sexy cup had anger issues??), but there's a lot there that I think maybe nobody's ever seen before, or cared to look for, or maybe he's just never wanted to show to anybody...

For one, I just think he's really cute! Like, not even in a sex way. He's just cute. He does this thing with his face when he's thinking really hard where he'll scrunch up his nose and totally zone out. I don't think he notices it, but he does a lot of stuff with his tail, too. It's pretty easy to tell how he's feeling once you get used to reading him, and if he's in a good mood it, like, wiggles? Not wagging, not like a dog or anything, but almost like one of those wacky inflatable tube dudes. And I know this isn't really a "good" thing, but when he's frustrated with something, he stews about it, and crosses his arms and stomps around for a while, and he'll go on these little tirades about stuff that doesn't matter, and it's adorable how into it he gets. He's pretty easy to tease.

And he's really smart. Genuinely totally on the ball. Not the kind of guy you'd come to to vent or something, but if you give him a problem he'll hand you a solution in, like, ten seconds.

I'm always discovering new things about him, too, like these skills or hobbies he has that he doesn't even think are worth mentioning... he's killer at the violin, and he's a really good singer, and he likes to do all these little creative projects when people aren't looking. I think whatever he sets his mind to he just does, and I like that in a person. It's part of why I got with Bulma all those years back--she was really headstrong, just like he is. I'm into the type who knows what they want and who they are and stays honest about that.

Frieza's a lot less dramatic about it than she was, though. He'll do something, and he won't like, get all up in your face and start wagging a finger about it. He just does it, and then tells you it's done if you notice, because he's pretty used to being solitary, so he's not a needy kind of guy. As long as you give him what he wants, you're basically golden.

He's really up front about it, too. Who he is, I mean. He's never pulled any punches with me, or lied, or given me the runaround. He sat me down and said look, Yamcha, this is what my deal is, and this is what I'm looking for, and if you're interested we can make arrangements. I like that I know what I'm getting into, y'know? Like, yeah, it's a little disappointing that he's not into the idea of marriage, but we haven't been dating long, and there's always time down the line if we wind up staying together. What I'm really surprised about, though, is that even if we didn't, I think I'd still wanna be friends? Which isn't the kind of thing you'd normally think about with Frieza. I know Vegeta would flip his lid if he heard me say that.

There's a ton more I could talk about, but I don't want to wind up writing a novel, so I'll just end it on this:

He's a bad person, yeah, and there's stuff I've gotta talk with him about if we wind up making this a permanent thing, but a lot of my friends started out as bad people, including me. I can say for a fact, though, that he's got a heart in there somewhere, even if nobody else thinks that's true. I've seen these little glimpses of it, and it makes me really happy, and I wanna keep seeing it. That make sense?

I hope so.

[hedawanheda]

the babysitter

Clarke screws up, now her mom doesn’t trust her to watch her little sister on her own. Abby’s solution is to hire a babysitter, who just happens to be the girl Clarke has been crushing on for as long as she can remember.

Read on ao3

Chapter One

“I don’t need a babysitter,” Clarke protested, stalking after her mother into the kitchen. She had just informed her that someone would be coming over the following night to keep an eye on her and her sister while their mom was at work. “I am perfectly capable of being able to watch Madi by myself,”

Abby ignored her daughter’s complaining, making her way to the pantry to start prepping dinner. “Your sister begs to differ, and so do I. Considering I found her in the front yard last week in her pajamas while you were passed out drunk with your friends in the basement,” Abby scolded, giving the blonde a pointed look. “You’re lucky it’s only a babysitter and not Grandma,”

Clarke shrank back slightly, but she wasn’t going to give up. “It’s embarrassing. She probably goes to my school. On Monday everyone in the junior class will know that Clarke Griffin needs a babysitter. Do you know what that would do to me?”

“You’re being dramatic,” Abby rolled her eyes. “And she does go to your school,” she added quietly.

“Mom,” Clarke groaned. She stomped her foot like a child, frustrated and annoyed that her mom didn’t trust her with something as simple as watching an eleven year old. “What can I do to make this not happen?”

“There’s nothing you can do,” Abby sighed. “Madi was the one who asked for a babysitter,”

“She did?” Clarke was taken aback. “Why did she do that?”

“Because she wants to have a responsible adult in the house while I’m away, and I agree with her,”

“That traitor,”

“Careful, Clarke. You’re already grounded,” Abby reminded her. Clarke scowled, crossing her arms.

“Well, at least tell me her name,” Clarke huffed, “If I’m going to have to bribe her to keep my secrets, I may as well know,”

“Anya,”

Anya.

That couldn’t be Anya Woods, could it?

“It totally is,” Raven teased at lunch the next day. “Anya Woods, scary soccer captain and big sister to the love of your life. She’s your babysitter,”

“Shut up,” Clarke grumbled, pushing her food around on her plate. She was slumped in her chair, defeated since her mother revealed who was going to be her, or Madi’s, babysitter. “Lexa is not the love of my life,”

“No, she’s just the girl you’ve been pining after since kindergarten, yet don’t have the guts to talk to,”

“I’ve talked to her,” Clarke countered. “She’s in my Calculus class, I sit behind her. We talk everyday,”

“Asking her for a pencil sharpener doesn’t count as talking,”

“Says you,” Clarke snapped, crossing her arms. Let her have her secret unobtainable crush in peace.

Raven smirked, her friend’s attitude amusing her. She couldn’t blame her, though. The Woods sisters were sort of legends at Polis. As soccer co-captains the two of them led their team to the state championships, putting them at the top of the social hierarchy. Clarke and her friends were popular as well, but they regrettably ran in different circles, hardly overlapping except for the few classes they shared.

“Lay off her, Raven. It’s not like you don’t drool over Anya. And you haven’t even had a conversation with her,” Octavia pointed out, causing Raven to stick her tongue out at her. “Clarke‘s at least has somewhat of a footing with Lexa,”

“We go way back,” Clarke argued.

“That one kiss in kindergarten doesn’t count-“

“Shut up.” Clarke grumbled. Yes it did, it was in fact her bisexual awakening at mere five years old. “Anya isn’t that unusual of a name. It’s probably not her,”

“Well let’s ask,”

“What are you-“

Raven was up in a flash, giving her friends one last smirk before making a beeline towards Anya’s lunch table. Clarke watched in horror as she sat down across from Anya and Lexa, giving the sisters a wide smile. The two of them looked at her confused, Anya not recognizing her and Lexa wondering why someone she hardly knows is smiling at her like that.

Raven starts speaking to them, Clarke seeing Anya nod at Raven’s question. She felt her heart drop at the confirmation, the trio looking over at her lunch table as Raven pointed her out. Clarke felt her face flush with embarrassment as she held her hand up half heartedly, giving a pathetic wave.

Lexa had a look of puzzlement on her face, returning the wave politely. Clarke watched as she turned back to Raven and Anya, Raven chatting excitedly before making her way back over to the table.

“So it turns out Anya Woods is your babysitter,” she gloated. “I made sure to tell her that you are Madi are darling angels who never misbehave,”

“I hate you,”

“Relax, I didn’t say that. But she is your babysitter. She’ll be there at seven, so I’ll be there at, say, seven fifteen?”

“You’re not coming over and embarrassing me further. Plus, I’m grounded, remember? Thanks to your brilliant idea of getting wasted last week,”

“I happen to remember you happily going along with it,”

“Yeah, well, I’m full of regrets,”

//

Lexa is doing homework in her and Anya’s shared room when her sister walks in, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I got a last minute invite practice with the Polis U soccer team,”

“Are you serious?” Lexa exclaimed, shutting her textbook loudly and swiveling her chair to face her. “That’s amazing! When?”

“Tonight at seven,” Lexa frowns.

“Aren’t you supposed to be babysitting Madi Griffin then?” she asks.

“Yeah but… I can’t pass up on this opportunity, Lexa. This could lead to a spot on the team and a full scholarship. We both know how much that would help out Dad,”

“So you’re bailing?” Lexa gawked, watching her sister gather her hair into a high bun before moving to her closet to find an outfit.

“I’m not bailing, I’m simply replacing myself,” Anya said, back turned towards Lexa as she rummaged through her closet. She purposefully did not face her sister as she said this.

“With who?”

“Funny you should ask…”

“Oh no,” Lexa knew where Anya was going with this. “You’re not doing this to me,”

“Come on, Lex! How long have you liked this girl? Literally over a decade. And this is the perfect opportunity to get to know her better, it’s basically the premise of a porno. Plus it would really help me out, please?”

Lexa rolled her eyes, jaw set as her mind raced with the possibilities of what could happen tonight. Chances are she would make a fool of herself, she was never able to function properly around pretty girls. Especially ones she kissed once when she was five.

“Clarke probably won’t even come out of her room. You’ll just be with Madi. You can handle her, can’t you?”

“Of course I can, she’s nine,” Lexa rolled her eyes. “But I don’t want to,”

“Lexa. What’s with it with Clarke Griffin? Usually around girls you’re all game, but with her you become this awkward bumbling mess. It’s so unlike you,”

“Clarke is special,” Lexa said softly. “She’s not just some girl. Not to me,”

“Right. She was the girl. The one who made you realize your raging lesbianism,” Anya smirked, pulling an athletic shirt over her head. “Yet you haven’t made a move in twelve years,”

“She’s out of my league,” Lexa shrugged. “I’ve accepted it. Plus we probably have nothing in common,”

“You both like each other. You have that in common,”

“Shut up. She does not like me,”

“Then go and find out,” Anya grabs her soccer bag out of the closet. “Are you going to make me say please?”

“It wouldn’t hurt,”

“So you’ll do it?”

“I want to hear you say ‘please’ first,”

Anya rolled her eyes. “You’re impossible. I’ll text you the Griffin’s address from my car. They’re expecting you at seven, so get there around six fifty. Thank you so much, Lex,”

She leaves in a hurry before Lexa could protest, saluting her sister as she walks out the door. Lexa sighs, spinning around in her chair as she thinks about what she had gotten herself into.

//

Clarke’s sitting on her couch with Madi, a bowl of popcorn mixed with M&M’s between them as they watched episodes of Grace and Frankie.

Abby comes into the room dressed in her scrubs, looking down at her phone. “Anya will be here any minute. I left money on the counter for pizza, and there’s stuff in the pantry to make cookies if you get bored,”

She suddenly whips her head towards the TV when she hears Jane Fonda yell ’fuck!’

“What are you watching?” she asked sharply, folding her arms together as gave her older daughter a pointed look.

“It’s fine, Madi’s old enough,” Clarke rolled her eyes, popping an M&M in her mouth.

“She’s nine, Clarke!”

“Almost ten,” said Madi.

“There’s nothing bad in this show,” Clarke shrugs, just as Lily Tomlin’s character lights up a joint onscreen. Clarke frowned. Perfect timing. “Besides that,”

“This is why mom doesn’t trust you enough to watch me alone,” Madi gloats. “Which is why we need a babysitter.” Clarke glares at her.

“Don’t give her that look, Clarke. She’s right,” Abby placed her hands on her hips. “Turn it off,”

Clarke dramatically sighs. “Fine, I’ll turn on She Ra. Or is Madi too young for that, too?”

Abby doesn’t answer her sarcastic remark because the doorbell decides to ring at that moment. She just shakes her head sternly at Clarke and goes to greet the babysitter.

“You must be Anya,” Clarke heard her mom say when she answers the door. She slumped down on the couch, sighing dramatically as Madi snickered next to her.

“Actually, no,” Clarke froze. She knew that voice. Crap. “She had something come up, so she sent me instead. I hope that’s okay. I’m Lexa,”

[superblysubpar]

Can wee have a sneak peak of wcil? Totally don’t want to rush you if it’s not finished 💕

You're not rushing me, I'm just slow and in my head and I don't know why and I'm very very very frustrated I can't just finish this for you guys. 💛

I appreciate the patience, and so, here's the first 2.9k of the chapter (it's basically final, but technically hasn't officially been sent over to my beta in like the final form of the chapter, so just be prepared things may be slightly different when the whole thing is posted. )

Why do we want to believe in things like fate or destiny - divine intervention? Why do some put their faith in religions with blind following? Why do we look to the stars in moments of despair, when we’re desperate for hope, when we’re lost? 

We seek out answers from something we can’t see but we want to believe in. Whether it’s a fortune cookie in your take out, a penny head’s up on the sidewalk, a community of like minded souls coming together for prayer or worship, or a horoscope you read on your morning Instagram scroll - the reasons have to be the same for choosing to believe, for the hope that starts to rise in you for the promise these things try to offer. 

We look for solutions to problems. We need reason. We need purpose. We need to feel like we’re not alone. We need confirmation that it’s all gonna work out even though nothing can really guarantee that. 

When you look up at the stars that work hard to shine through clouds and a full moon, your chest rises with air trying to fill your lungs and you wonder if they’re up there. Your eyes blink up at that indigo sky, searching. He sits next to you and Leigh waves, whispering their hellos. His hand rests next to yours on the plaid blanket, he clears his throat and straightens his shoulders. It’s all too stiff, too on edge and you hate it. That attempted deep breath is unsuccessful, lungs deflating as it catches in your throat, and your thoughts wander back to the stars again. They wander to him, and them, and seek answers. 

What if they are up there, watching, like it’s one of those movies your mom was always putting on and your dad and you boo’d at from your spot playing cards. When he walked in with her with that on her finger, your mom would have gasped, she would have paused the movie, she would have yelled at you and your dad about the plot. She would have thrown popcorn at the TV and declared there’s something going on, he couldn’t, no way - there was no way. She’d have calmed herself down, rationalized there was still time left, gone to the pantry for more chocolate, kissed the top of your head and your dad’s cheek as she passed. By the end of the film, her prediction would have been right, she’d be crying and sighing at the couple who got their happy ending.

So could Steve declare his feelings for you here in a dramatic scene? Tell you it was all a big misunderstanding - that he’s sorry, that it was a rocky road but being together is worth fighting for? Could you leave here, hand in hand, as a top forty song plays and the credits roll? 

Of course not. 

Because this isn’t a rom com your mom would have loved. Life is not a movie full of soul-mates and cosmic connections. People like your parents are the exception to the rule. The couples who make it work - the ones who don’t let the trials of life take their love away like Allie and Noah, Kate and Sam, or Westley and Buttercup, are fictional characters. They’re stories to escape into when the despairing reality of yours is too much to read or write anymore. It’s exactly why you don’t like most movies or stories like theirs. Because eventually, the movies end, the credits do roll, and you have to face real life once again. Love like that doesn’t exist off the big screen, and you’re just kidding yourself when you fall into their traps. 

Knowing this simple fact of reality doesn’t stop the hope though. 

That painful, aching hope that clings to your skin like honey when you can feel the heat from his arm even through the sleeve of your sweater - like your bodies burn hotter when close together - too close to the sun. It feeds the hope that your brain tries to squash away but your heart thuds harder for. The what if, what if, what if replacing each beat of it. Hope that makes you want to cry out ‘please let this just be a bad dream’ to the universe. Hope that tries, but can’t escape the gnawing pit in your stomach that’s growing wider, threatening to swallow you whole. Hope that makes you wonder why this can’t be a story - why can’t you just be the grandson, yelling at his grandfather that he can’t be telling it properly. Someone is getting the story wrong. He can’t be marrying her, you’re just sure of it. Screaming at him, at someone, to please, just get it right. 

You wonder if someone were watching, would they be feeling the despair you are? Is this the moment? That scene in the movies is always the gut punch - for the audience and the character. It’s meant to hurt, make you hold your breath. Made to be dramatic - yell at the screen, break your heart, make the character in the action get back up and fight. They’re moments made to ignite that hope - but really, it’s the double tap - coming right after the feeling catches flame, that’s made to shatter you completely. 

The moment that extinguishes the what if for all it’s worth. When your heart is already breaking for the grandson, only for the grandfather to ask who says life is fair? Where is that written? When the knife is entering your chest, but the mask falls and the killer turns out to be someone you thought you could trust. When you’re untethered in space only for your last moment of consciousness to be seeing a friend cutting the cord. The person who sucker punched you kicking you when you’re down, taking it one step too far, leaving you crumpled on the mat. It’s all enough to make that fight, that urge to be angry instead of scared or hurt, disappear. It’s enough to knock you down so hard, you can’t possibly get back up - the hope is extinguished, and the story seemingly over. 

Robin squeals quietly, pulling Leigh’s hand across you to admire the ring, knocking Steve on the shoulder and saying something about the Dingus doing good. Your gaze flits down to the brown sugar and apple donuts in your lap, convinced you’re about to get sick right on top of them. Not because he’s marrying her, but because instead of being angry with him, you feel like you’ve been squashed, you feel hurt, you feel betrayed. Despite your better judgment, despite the past several years, you’ve let a man make you some pathetic, sad, heartbroken, and weak version of yourself. 

When Leigh’s hand retreats from Robin’s, lifting and curling a piece of hair behind her ear, diamond sparkling in the moonlight as she smiles over at Steve, your story’s end is written, and you need to accept it if you ever want some semblance of normalcy to return. You can’t lose him and them. But when Steve’s pinky brushes yours and you look over, his eyes resemble the broken beer bottle from the football game all those weeks ago. Shattered emerald and amber, cutting you to shreds with each shard of glass as he murmurs, “Can I tal-“

“I’ll be right back!” You whisper-shout, cutting him off and squeezing Robin’s shoulder as you get up. 

She yanks on your wrist, halting your attempt at an exit. Her eyes narrow as she interrogates, “Where are you going?”

Swallowing harshly as her blue eyes peer directly into your soul. She can probably smell the desire to run on you. Remembering your vow that Steve won’t take them away from you, a not quite a lie falls from your lips as you gesture to the concession food trucks, “You don’t have those cinnamon roasted almonds. They were my mom’s favorite and the smell is driving me crazy. Promise that’s all.”

“I swear to god, if you don’t come back, I will literally come stand outside your window on the sidewalk and scream-sing Monster Mash until someone calls the cops and I’ll drag you down with me.”

Her eyes blink, features incredibly serious despite the amusing threat. Your laugh mixes with Leigh’s and you ignore the shared moment, tugging your wrist free. “Would expect nothing less Robin.”

She motions she’s watching you, fingers to her eyes then yours, lips twitching in the corners before she turns back to the screen. 

Your feet feel heavy as they drag through the damp grass, and wait in line. It shouldn’t be a surprise after ordering when you hear his voice behind you. It floats through the air, soft, barely audible over the popping kettle corn, “I really didn’t know you’d be here. I wouldn’t have…” he sighs, settling on restating, “I didn’t know you’d be here.”

Your shoulders fall and your eyes stay focused on the truck. You’ve had time, since that night on the sidewalk, but your hurt still sits fresh under your layer of armor - tender like an open wound you need to keep protected. Your palms slide further under the sleeves of your sweater, clinging to the garment like the shield you’re willing it to be - you don’t want to fight with him anymore, no matter how hurt and angry you are with him. 

So the tone you respond with aches to sound indifferent, if not a tad harsh, reminding him you’re mad and pretending there isn’t any spark of hope within you still. It’s over, it has to be over, and all it ever was to him was something to kill time - fun and no strings exactly what you wanted. So your words are really just a reminder to yourself, another layer of the wall you need to keep up around him, “It’s fine Steve. Would have been nice to get a head’s up,” your shoulders shrug, “But, well, that’s probably too generous for the girl you were just fucking while waiting for the one, right?”

The people next to you clear their throats and you can’t find it in yourself to care, to be embarrassed. 

Steve moves in front of you, his face filling your vision. He shaved - no more scruff you like. His jeans are dark again, with fresh, new creases, and a light blue sweater pulls across his chest and shoulders. He’s picture perfect, his polished uniform in place.

He shakes his head, eyes bouncing between yours as he asks, “Is that really all it was?”

Your shoulders shrug again, because it’s easier. It’s easier to try to deny, to ignore the flutter the question causes in your stomach. Easier to bite back the words that try to form on your tongue. Because of course that’s not all it was, at least not to you. You wouldn’t feel the way you do right now if that were true. But what’s the point in telling him that though? What happens? Can you forgive each other for the words said, that, no matter how true, can’t be taken back? Things like this only end in heartbreak - because what happens if you tell him how you were starting to feel - does that change anything for him? And even if it did, that means a broken engagement, it means complicated truths coming out, it means attempts at forgiveness. And even after all of that, life won’t give you a guarantee. There is no promise of zero fights, of nothing bad ever happening. There is no happily ever after where the possibility of a break up, of losing everyone you’ve grown to care for deeply, doesn’t exist. 

So yes, it’s easier, to not say any of that, because you know. This isn’t how life works. This isn’t a movie. No one is immune to life’s misfortunes. These sorts of open-ended questions and complicated emotions that come from his simple ask are unmeasurable and unreliable. Wondering and giving into those feelings only open you up to be used as a target for someone else’s shooting practice. You’ve known this, but you allowed yourself to forget, hating it was Steve who had to remind you. 

Which is why you look away from his eyes as you say, “I believe that is what was established a few weeks ago at that party Steve. You were there, remember? You were dressed as a pirate.” 

His head drops, hands running through his perfectly styled hair as he laughs, breath shaky, like the laugh is covering up any feeling in his voice. “So, that’s it? We’re just gonna act like none of it happened? You don’t wanna talk. You run away every time we get a chance to do so, a beer in my face and-“

Your hand rising in the air cuts him off, his mouth clamping shut as you make eye contact with him. “You deserved that and I’m not apologizing for it.”

He takes a step closer to you, his hand reaching towards you, then back into his hair like he second guesses himself. “I’m not asking you to, and I’m not apologizing for what I said either.” Steve swallows, hands on his hips as he looks at the ground then back up at you, “What I said wasn’t a lie.” 

He breathes out the next words, both of you staring at each other with the weight of what he says hanging in the air between you.

“You couldn’t tell me.”

Your hands shake from the confrontation, from his request you left unanswered that night. The emotions that still want to bubble over, the time apart did nothing to cool either of you down. That what if, what if, what if that replaced your heartbeat grows louder, but your brain only shuts it down harder. If you hurt now, how will it feel if you keep feeding the flame only for him to extinguish it again?

The beat of your heart and those hopeful words thud in your ears as your head shakes and your voice tries not to, barely audible as the words leave your lips, “I don’t want to do this anymore Steve. We’re just going in circles. You’re getting married. You didn’t tell me. Can you look me in the eye and tell me you were really my friend while you were clearly getting engaged this whole time?”

Blue light flashes from the screen, catching the corner of your eye and illuminating his, their gaze bouncing over your face. Your bodies move closer like they can’t help it, like they know they won’t be this way again. Steve’s tongue darts over his bottom lip before his breath blows out, your name a whisper on it. The way he says your name with that look in his eyes, chests almost touching, it’s easy for your head to tilt with familiarity. Your breath out is his breath in, and it’s even easier to forget the last time you were this close. Sounds other than his harsh swallow and your heartbeat fade away. Time freezes, just a little, and the air pulses with tangible possibility of hope. 

A shrill classic horror movie scream shatters the bubble. Your name is called, you blink, and take a step away. Guilt washes over you as you see your friends staring intently at the movie you’d practically forgotten you were there for. Leigh and Robin talk quietly and your eyelids flutter as you will whatever wants to escape down your cheeks away. Him showing up with Leigh and a ring on her finger wasn’t the double tap, this is. That hope was still there despite the fight against it, and it’s ripped from your fingers. The book is closed. The knife drips in the killer’s hand as the victim’s chest stops heaving. The spacesuit floats through a noiseless and lifeless galaxy. The body doesn’t get up from the mats and a silence falls over the crowd. 

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore Steve. I just want to go hang out with my friends. I need this to be over. Can it please be over?” You stare intently at the ground, one single tear slipping past your lashes. It feels like it rolls down your cheek for an hour before Steve finally answers. 

���Okay,” he quietly agrees. 

Your head nods once and you brush past him, barely choking out a whispered ‘by the way congratulations’ as you grab your snack. Hand swiping at the stray tear as you make your way back to the blanket slowly. 

When you sit back down, Leigh’s typing on her phone. She squeezes Robin’s hand before whispering a goodbye to everyone. She jogs over to Steve, cocking her head at him. He pushes his hands through his hair again, giving her a short smile. He runs his thumb and forefinger down the bridge of his nose, swiping under it with the back of his hand. His other extends towards her as she reaches him, fingers lacing together as they walk out. 

Robin’s shoulder nudges yours and your head turns to find her with eyebrows pinching together. She leans in and quietly asks, “Is he okay? Did he say something about leaving to you?”

Your head shakes, and you extend the bag to her with a tight smile. You will just keep lying to her. Steve and you will move on, and maybe, one day in the distant future, you’ll be able to tell her. It’ll all work out.

She mirrors your sad smile, the wrinkles in her forehead deepening as she takes a small handful and turns her attention back to the movie. Or she tries, but you watch as her eyes glance down to her phone every few minutes, until it lights up with his name and she quickly starts typing a response. 

It’ll all be fine. 

[journey-to-the-attic]

i'd love to hear your thoughts on the remaining three (for the Sin Thing) even if it is just you pulling thoughts out of a hat

alright, then here we are! levi and belphie aren't in any particular order, i think they could go either way around - but lucifer is meant to come last.

warning long post ahead. now let's go!!!

levi:

levi is an interesting one because despite being the most insecure of the brothers, i think he's actually one of the most comfortable in himself as a demon

which actually relates to his insecurity i think - since he thought of himself as a 'useless angel', it follows that a 'useless angel' would make a 'good demon'

plus his arc in nb s1 is all about him coming to terms with his choice to follow lucifer, and deciding he doesn't regret it, which i feel would contribute to that

so building on all this... the idea is that levi's insecurity often makes him compare himself to his brothers, and the idea is that - having watched his brothers recover from their Sin Thing and really come into their own as avatars, his envy makes him feel inadequate all over again

he's not even a good demon anymore because they all make better demons than him, he's certainly not a good brother because he's been totally useless in saving any of them so far, and he was a useless angel back then too

his symptoms would initially just make him more reclusive, so it takes the others a while to notice, which only exacerbates his thoughts

thinking of the jokey comic i made on this topic though... i think levi's solution would actually work in this way

sitting him down and seriously talking to him would make him panic - he doesn't want to confront these feelings, and he's bound to convince himself that any comfort is insincere, just trying to make him feel better

whereas just shocking him so much that it grounds him would be much more likely to make him think more rationally

though i think i'd take the situation a bit more seriously

so levi has a kind of explosive fit, then leaves the house of lamentation - hides at the bottom of a lake, it's raining like hell, similar set-up to the comic

rather than standing to the side and yelling at him, though, ik wades into the lake and enters his inner world there

levi's inner world would be some kind of fantasy setting - a performative feel-good hero's journey story, except all the npcs keep making odd little snide side-comments (these are his thoughts peeking through)

ik goes through this setting deadpool-style. she is not taking ANY of it seriously, she makes fun of all the monsters, cracks jokes instead of engaging in dramatic dialogue, etc.

the idea is that she's just kind of batting away these 'i suck so much' ideas because they're not even slightly possibly true to her

she's 'breaking the fourth wall' until the levi in the inner world 'becomes self-aware' - i.e. finally gets grounded enough to take what she has to say to heart

so he wakes up in the lake, the rain stops; the other brothers are waiting for them

supportive brother moment <3

the key thing for ik is that she's not expressing he's 'enough' for her, but just that she wants him by her side, which i think is a sentiment levi would prefer

the idea of being 'enough' is such that he'll always convince himself that he isn't, but knowing that ik still wants to stay with this loser of a big brother regardless of any of that comforts him

belphie:

now initially i did think to connect belphie's Sin Thing to lilith

but it ended up making his whole deal too similar to beel's - with the same idea that he represses/has a bad reaction to his sin because of shame, the idea being that he was too idle - too 'slothful' - to save his sister

and, to be honest, i think it's kinda a discredit to belphie to center all of his character conflicts around lilith

is lilith's death a defining moment for his character? yep! can he have emotional hang-ups and encounter obstacles in his progress that aren't to do with it? also yes!

(also ngl i'm just kind of sick of lilith and her whole deal. don't tell anyone)

so instead i'm going for the idea of belphie feeling 'left behind'

ig it does connect to lilith but it's more of a residual thing - it's not really to do with his grief for her death directly, more to do with his own Bad coping mechanisms

the idea is just that he feels like they all move on too quickly

they pick themselves up so quickly after their Sin Things, they were up on their feet so soon after falling, they seemed to forget everything that happened to them in the war so fast

this is once again to do with the idea that belphie, as the youngest brother, has been detrimentally coddled in regards to these things, and has NO fucking idea how to properly deal with loss

(which resulted in devastating consequences in the original timeline)

the others haven't tried to talk to him about his grief for lilith, nor about their experiences during the celestial war; when they all had to support each other after the fall, they comforted him, but never ever discussed the pain of it all

it's like the doctor refusing to talk about your actual symptoms because they're afraid of making you uncomfortable, and instead just soothingly going "it's okay, just take some ibuprofen and see me in the morning"

and since belphie doesn't know how to heal from these things, he just represses and forgets about it - and he becomes increasingly afraid that the others will get too far ahead to catch up and they themselves recover

to be fair, it's not entirely his brothers' fault; belphie himself is also used to being complacent, and so hasn't actively sought out healing either

it's kind of similar to levi actually, in that they both feel bitter about the others' progress - except levi turns his feelings against the others (envy), while belphie internalises and blames himself (his sloth stops him from working to keep up)

belphie's frightened of moving on, too - he doesn't want to tie the pain to himself forever, but he feels like it's wrong to forget, too

and all this compounds to indecision and a refusal to linger on it

so when the sloth takes over he defaults to "i can't do anything, nothing will change, just lie down and go to sleep"

but he also can't bring himself to sleep - so instead, he goes around incredibly sluggishly, putting as little energy as possible into anything, not caring about anything else that happens around them

then once his brothers finally wrestle him to bed, he goes completely still and doesn't wake up

belphie's inner world would just be a completely empty void, with him at the centre, completely alone with his thoughts - forced to confront it all, but unable to because he doesn't know how

so when ik gets there, what she says to him would be similar to what she does in chapter 40 of jtta - reassurance that it's normal to grieve, to feel anguish, that it's not his fault he doesn't know how to deal, that he will one day be able to carry it and he will deserve to do so

apart from that, i think she'd just sit there with him, let him turn it all over in his mind, let it out, cry like he's been stopping himself from doing until now

belphie's been tempted to simply focus all his anger on humanity, blaming them for the war and everything, but having made fast friends with ik when she first gets nightbrought - this is also proof to him that he isn't governed by his grief

also, it's probably especially important to ik that she do this right - after all, in her original timeline, belphie didn't get this help, and in the long run ended up killing her because of it

lucifer:

it's generally the trend that lucifer comes last with these things

i did change this for the pact order in jtta, but that was because i felt it made more sense, given the different direction lucifer's arc takes to canon

here though, it does work (with my own reasoning for lucifer's sin thing) for him to come last

now. all of the brothers have self-worth issues on some level or another, but lucifer's in particular are on a whole other level

he thinks he's always right. he hates himself more than any being in the universe. he can't fathom being second-best. he knows he is awful. he thinks he's better than everyone. everyone is a far better being than him. he's strong and useless and he must be chosen first even though he doesn't deserve it

i think lucifer would've known he'd go through this Sin Thing from the very beginning, but his brothers are fairly convinced he'll either fight it off immediately or never have it happen in the first place

it's a constant thing with him, he's never as capable as the image he projects, and because he hates letting it fail - he doesn't reject the idea that he'd be immune

and i think part of him would actually be a little convinced; surely he of all demons would be able to resist this stupid force?

lucifer can be extremely close-minded sometimes, and this is working against him right now because he hasn't realised that all of that 'i'll be fine' spiel is the pride talking

so when he starts feeling it happen, he sort of spirals, which only exacerbates the effect - especially since he instinctively isolates him with his work, not wanting his brothers to see him like this

what makes it worse is that he thinks "didn't i learn my lesson? didn't i learn to stop doing this? if mammon didn't think to go to ik, and if ik hadn't come to me, i wouldn't have accepted any help. i would've tried to do it all myself, and we might've lost satan in the process. we might've lost our whole family in the process. i was entirely useless for whole ordeal."

and he knows what he should do, but he can't because his pride is in control - what's more, he feels it's his own fault that he can't stop it, which only lets the sin dig its claws in deeper

plus, because lucifer's so well-practised at keeping this facade up, none of his brothers notice what's happened for about a week

mammon can tell something is off, but lucifer squarely rejects his offers of support and brings up his trouble-making in response, which successfully chases him off

i feel like in this case, it's important that lucifer actively accepts ik's help - rather than her just jumping in to get to him, as has been the case with everyone else

she'd have noticed something was up as well, and has been making gentle attempts at asking him what's wrong - which lucifer has brushed off, reasonably naturally

after hearing how he completely rejected mammon's offer of help, though, she decides to throw caution to the winds and goes to see him in his office

lucifer's response is to yell at her

now he's proven himself capable of being a massive bitch before now. however, this is on a whole new level

he's never insulted ik herself before, for example, but with his pride talking he's stooping to levels never before seen

once he's done ik just kind stands there and stares at him blankly

now, this is the SEVENTH GODDAMN TIME ik's had to put up with this sort of thing. fourteen if you count the first round back in the original timeline

she is so tired. so she really can't be blamed for crying

you would not believe the levels of regret lucifer immediately feels

in fact said regret is so strong it actually drowns the pride out for long enough for him to immediately start apologising

ik (very embarrassed by the crying) just kind of shakes her head like "it's fine, it's fine, forget about it, look can you just fucking listen to me"

in this case, there aren't any big dramatic speeches. the fact that ik's still attempting to help him after he just made her (who, famously, basically never cries no matter what happens to her) cry with his own awfulness is enough to snap him out of his funk, for long enough to let the others get through to him

see, mammon, sensing a disturbance as soon as the tears began, crashes into the office soon after that, and the ruckus duly attracts the other brothers

now lucifer's instinct is to go "shit", because now they're seeing that their eldest brother is not infallible

except his brothers' immediate reaction is not shock, or (rightfully, he thinks) disgust, but rather concern

who could've guessed, lucifer? your family fucking loves you

sure, you fucked up (and they're going to scold you for being mean once this is over), but that doesn't make you any less their beloved big brother

lucifer essentially gets saved by a combination of dadcifer instincts and his family's care, which i think is very fitting for him

[manish123manish]

Transforming Transportation: Carpooling Applications vs. Conventional Approaches

Convenience and sustainability have taken center stage in our fast-paced world of today, particularly when it comes to transportation. The way we think about transportation has changed dramatically as a result of the carpooling movement's evolution from unofficial arrangements to sophisticated technology-driven solutions. Modern carpooling apps like RideBuddy are changing the game, even if conventional carpooling techniques have long had their usefulness. This blog examines the argument between cutting-edge carpooling apps and conventional carpooling strategies, with an emphasis on the revolutionary potential of websites like RideBuddy.

The Development of Carpooling

There has always been a technique to lessen traffic, use less gasoline, and save money on commuting expenses: carpooling or ride-sharing. Finding compatible carpool companions has always required a great deal of coordination, trust, and compromise due to informal arrangements. Scheduling issues and a lack of suitable match possibilities were common problems for commuters.

The Growth of Apps for Carpooling

Ridesharing has undergone a revolution with the introduction of carpooling apps. These platforms connect commuters going in the same direction by using cutting-edge technology, which improves process flexibility, convenience, and efficiency. One of the best examples of how technology is changing carpooling is RideBuddy.

https://ridebuddy.app/

How Carpooling Is Redefined by RideBuddy

Smart Matching: RideBuddy matches users according to their location, preferred schedule, and destination using advanced algorithms. Users may easily and rapidly find compatible carpool buddies thanks to this sophisticated matching.

Convenience: RideBuddy allows users to identify possible carpool partners by letting them enter their starting point, destination, and preferred timing. By taking care of the difficult chore of coordinating schedules and preferences, the app makes carpooling easier and less stressful.

Flexibility: RideBuddy gives customers the option to carpool on particular days or events, in contrast to traditional carpooling, which frequently requires strict scheduling. This flexibility allows for schedule adjustments without producing problems.

Expense Savings: Carpooling facilitates the sharing of transportation expenses, such as tolls, parking, and gas. It is a more cost-effective choice because customers can drastically lower their total commute expenses by dividing these fees.

Environmental Impact: By reducing the number of cars on the road, carpooling apps like RideBuddy help create a more sustainable future. The impact of commuting on the environment is reduced due to the decrease in carbon emissions caused by the reduction in traffic.

Safety and Community: With features like real-time tracking and emergency help, RideBuddy places a high priority on safety. Through the ability to examine possible carpool companions' profiles, ratings, and reviews, the app also promotes a sense of community. This openness fosters greater user confidence and makes carpooling safer.

Social Connectivity: RideBuddy wants to create a thriving user community in addition to providing ridesharing services. Carpooling makes the commute more interesting and pleasurable by providing an opportunity to interact, meet new people, and develop relationships.

Conventional Techniques against Ride-Sharing Apps

Although carpooling by traditional methods has advantages, such familiarity and dependability, carpooling apps, like RideBuddy, have definite benefits. These apps offer more freedom, make it easier to discover compatible carpool mates, and have a big environmental impact reduction impact. Additionally, they provide a more user-friendly experience with cutting-edge security features and elements that foster community.

Selecting the Appropriate Choice

Carpooling apps mean a big change in the ever-complex world of transportation, moving us closer to a more economical, ecologically friendly, and efficient means of transportation. RideBuddy and other such platforms demonstrate how technology can improve our daily lives and make carpooling a more practical and satisfying choice.

Adopting carpooling applications can result in a more pleasurable and sustainable commute. These apps are revolutionizing the transportation industry by utilizing technology to promote community ties and create new norms. As a result, they are becoming a popular option among commuters who prioritize convenience and environmental consciousness.

https://ridebuddy.app/

[fringesncurls]

Best Bridal Makeup Studio in Lucknow - Radiance Fringes & Curls

Why Choose Radiance Fringes & Curls?

1. Expertise in Bridal Makeup

At Radiance Fringes & Curls, we pride ourselves on our expertise in bridal makeup. Our team is composed of experienced professionals who specialize in creating elegant and timeless looks. Whether you desire a traditional Indian bridal look or a more contemporary style, our artists can bring your vision to life. We use only the finest products to ensure your makeup lasts all day and photographs beautifully.

2. Personalized Consultations

Every bride is unique, and so are her makeup needs. That’s why we offer personalized consultations to understand your preferences and skin type. During these sessions, our makeup artists will discuss your desired look, offer recommendations, and conduct trials to ensure everything is perfect for your big day. Our goal is to make you feel comfortable and confident in your makeup choices.

3. Comprehensive Services

Radiance Fringes & Curls is more than just a makeup studio. We offer a comprehensive range of services, including hairstyling, skincare, and beauty treatments. Our hair and makeup studio is equipped to handle all your bridal beauty needs, from pre-wedding skin treatments to stunning bridal hairstyles. We also offer packages for bridesmaids and family members, ensuring everyone looks their best.

Our Signature Bridal Makeup Packages

1. Classic Bridal Package

Our Classic Bridal Package is designed for brides who want a traditional yet sophisticated look. This package includes:

Personalized makeup consultation

Full bridal makeup application

Hair styling

False eyelashes

Touch-up kit

2. Glamorous Bridal Package

For brides looking to make a statement, our Glamorous Bridal Package offers a more dramatic and glamorous look. This package includes:

Personalized makeup consultation

High-definition bridal makeup

Hair styling with accessories

False eyelashes

Touch-up kit

3. Luxury Bridal Package

Our Luxury Bridal Package is for brides who want the ultimate pampering experience. This package includes:

Personalized makeup consultation

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False eyelashes

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Bridal manicure and pedicure

Touch-up kit

Grooming Services

Welcome to Radiance Fringes-n-Curls, here we offer grooming services for women, men and children in ways you may have never experienced before. Our professional staff is dedicated to providing professional and quality hair and beauty service within and to the specifications of the customer.

For Women: Enjoy the glamorous hair and beauty solutions you will definitely polish your natural beauty looks. Ranging from neat and stylish haircuts and unique and stylish hair color to beautiful and elegant hairstyles and health efficient hair treatments we are with you to create looks that are uniquely you. Indulge in our beauty services in California such as manicure, pedicure and skin care for a total transformation.

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Our Team of Experts

Our team at Radiance Fringes & Curls is comprised of some of the best makeup artists and best hairstylists in Lucknow. Each team member is highly trained and experienced in bridal beauty. They stay updated with the latest trends and techniques to ensure you receive top-notch service. Our artists are passionate about what they do and are dedicated to making you look and feel beautiful.

Client Testimonials

We take pride in the satisfaction of our clients. Here are some testimonials from brides who chose Radiance Fringes & Curls for their special day:

“Radiance Fringes & Curls made my wedding day perfect. My makeup was flawless, and it lasted all day long. I felt like a princess!” — Priya Singh.

“I was so impressed with the professionalism and skill of the team. They listened to my preferences and delivered exactly what I wanted. Highly recommend!” — Anjali Kaur.

“The personalized service and attention to detail were outstanding. I couldn’t have asked for a better experience.” — Ritika Mehta.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What products do you use for bridal makeup?

We use high-quality, professional-grade products from renowned brands to ensure your makeup looks flawless and lasts all day. Our product range includes brands like MAC, Bobbi Brown, and Estée Lauder.

2. How far in advance should I book my bridal makeup appointment?

We recommend booking your bridal makeup appointment at least 3–6 months in advance to ensure availability and allow time for consultations and trials.

3. Do you offer makeup trials?

Yes, we offer makeup trials as part of our bridal packages. This allows us to perfect your look and make any adjustments before your wedding day.

4. Can you accommodate large bridal parties?

Absolutely! Our studio is equipped to handle large bridal parties. We offer packages for bridesmaids and family members to ensure everyone looks their best.

5. What safety measures do you have in place?

We follow strict hygiene protocols and use sanitized tools and products for every client. Our team is also trained in the latest safety measures to ensure a safe and comfortable experience.

Location and Contact Information

Radiance Fringes & Curls is conveniently located in the heart of Lucknow, making it easy for brides to access our services. Our studio is designed to provide a relaxing and luxurious environment where you can unwind and enjoy your beauty treatments.

Address: A — 2/41 Vijay Khand Baldev Singh Arya marg gomtinagar Lucknow near by mithai wala choraha

Contact: Phone: +91 9415027587 Email: fringesncurlsradiance@gmail.com Website: Radiance Fringes & Curls

For brides searching for a makeup studio near me or a bridal makeup studio near me, Radiance Fringes & Curls is your ultimate destination. Let us help you achieve the perfect bridal look and make your wedding day unforgettable.

[pmmechanicalny2c]

PM Mechanical

Fairfield and Westchester counties used P&M Mechanical, Inc. for all of their HVAC requirements twenty years ago. Just switch on the air conditioner to solve it.

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This shows utter disdain for our needs. Those who deal with them in positions of responsibility say they have high standards. They would prefer to get updates, for example, on a regular basis. Being a small, family-run company, offering our customers excellent products and services has always been our main priority.

The desire of employees to be well-liked supersedes the interests of the company's customers. If you did not take into account the viewpoint of the other person, nothing you could possibly think of would clarify the situation. Please do not hesitate to get in touch with us at any time if you ever find yourself in a financial bind and need our assistance.

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I haven't decided on anything yet because I haven't been let down by either the HVAC companies in Connecticut or New York. Assume total command of the circumstance. We offer comprehensive insurance coverage that may protect any kind of house or business in Connecticut and New York. Almost any kind of HVAC system is accessible from us. It was crucial to address the problem of inadequate isolation from neighboring homes in the design stage. Our hiring of HVAC specialists increased our commitment to addressing client requests. We promise to keep working on it until we come up with a solution that works for you. Apart from installing, maintaining, and repairing, our skilled experts are also capable of diagnosing problems. The meaning of the word "HVAC system" is probably extremely different for someone who did not grow up in New Jersey. Your home cannot be damaged by any type of storm that could occur where you are unless you use our services. When the weather is nice, spend as much time indoors as you can. Everything remains the same regardless of the weather. Our skilled professionals can swiftly fix any building's air conditioning system in New York City, regardless of the weather. It's totally up to you to make sure your air conditioning device is reliable. It is essential to have an air conditioner if you want to maintain a comfortable temperature.

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[tharizdun-03]

Love Live! Sunshine!! Season 1: EP 8-13 Watchthrough

EP 1-7 Watchtrough: https://www.tumblr.com/tharizdun-03/721223136709935105/love-live-sunshine-season-1-ep-1-7?source=share

#8: "Isn't It Frustrating?"

ZERO??? Not a single person voted for them? Not one? Jeez.

wasting paper tho, when you could've emailed

Thirteen million people in Tokyo? That's like, a whole third more than my entire country. But it is also a huge city. Stockholm, the biggest city here, is 188 km². Tokyo is 2 194 km².

Yeah, I guess that makes sense. If they kind of jump started the whole trend, of course it'd be way more difficult now.

god the seniors' conflict is presented so dramatically i love it lol

this is great. Riko rushing out for Chika cause she's scared she drowned herself, them being gay in the water, and Chika's outburst. Honoka was never vulnerable like this, she would've just brushed it off, so this makes the drama in sunshine!! a lot more effective.

#9: "Young Dreamer"

THAT WAS SO GOOD! The drama has always been melodramatic in Love Live, but it really worked here. It feels totally earned, it's gay as hell, and that final reveal with Dia, dude. AAAAH!!

sunshine!! is so fucking good. the only reason i forgive it for not branching out from its predecessor too much is just because it's taking everything it did and executing it so much better, everything works here.

the other series in the franchise gotta do something different, cause they perfected the formula here ngl.

#10: "We've Got Stewshine"

THEY ARE SO GAY

listen, the series is never gonna like make a textually explicit romance, because the japanese market is still too socially regressive for a big name franchise to capitalize on that, but i know the artists want to, and they're putting as much gay as they can for us fans!!

these two are so cute

the seniors, along with yohane, are fucking insane lol. massive, massive dorks all of them, and i love the energy they're adding now that they're properly part of the cast.

I must say, Sunshine totally puts me in the headspace that I was in when I watched K-On!! It, along with Bocchi has been the most effective at carrying its spirit, although in different ways. I am having such fun.

coincidence that both K-On!! and Sunshine!! have two !! in their names? no, the staff knows, they know.

#11: "Aye Aye, My Friend"

oh my god you literally imagining different ways to confess to chika

they are getting away with as much as they possible can

and as per usual, the best solution to any love triangle is polyamory. go for it girls.

also, she's super cute in this get up, please have her in sloppy pajamas and glasses more like???

also, i know i'm freaking out over the gay stuff a lot (but honestly, it's just super gay, like even the original didn't have that much subtext) but the storytelling in sunshine!! overall is a lot smart and emotionally complex. it's just great stuff.

#12: "It's Time to Fly"

Okay, what the fuck even is Honoka??? In the movie, we met like an adult version of her, and now there's a kid version of her in Sunshine? Does being a school idol just eventually give you magical time travel powers or something?

Love Live always had trouble closing its seasons, cause it just got too indulgent in its own mushy sentimentality and vague metaphors (Honoka's insistent jumps over puddles, for example) and Sunshine kinda did the same thing here, but we arrived at an appropriate conclusion.

Aquors need to be their own thing. They can't be like μ's. And the message itself is kinda obvious and whatever, but it did make me realize, I don't really want a cameo (another, at least. fucking honoka). Let Aquors be its own thing the second season onwards.

On MAL, Sunshine is listed as a sequel to its predecessor, but the other Love Live series aren't, so I assume the staff realize they'll be too shackled if they don't fully let go.

#13: "Sunshine!!"

yeah... that just wasn’t very good. basically just a long recap of what the girls went through which... i mean, i saw it. you don’t need to recap it for me lol. shame, but expected the season finale to be underwhelming. doesn’t take anything away though, but it’s an episode i’d skip on a rewatch.

Overall Thoughts

Love Live Sunshine!! Season 1 managed to improve on pretty much everything the original did. It can still get a bit self indulgent (especially by the end), but the comedy is snappier than ever and the drama plenty effective. I’m actually REALLY surprised by how supremely structured everything was. The Chika/Riko/You arcs were fantastic, and I thought characters like Yohane and Hanamaru both got great introductions as well. This feels like the Love Live formula perfected.

[its-no-biggie]

YOU. YOU GET IT. theres a lot of things here that i didnt really consider so i wanna talk about it

the running theme of killing themselves is SO interesting- is this a trait both of them have naturally? or did wash pick it up from epsilon or vice versa? we're told that when an ai is implanted, the host can hear their thoughts in their head and feel their feelings to a certain extent. which is, in itself, a woefully unexplored concept and leaves a lot of room for speculation- just how "mixed" are they? do they ever feel more like one person than 2 separate people? i mean, even just spending time with someone for long enough can have you picking up mannerisms from them, so surely when youre sharing a brain that phenomenon would be amplified. and all of this has huge implications on just how the whole "exploding in washs head" affected both of them. i really love fics that explore this in more detail- giving wash issues with distinguishing which memories are his and the like (*cough cough* put my guns in the ground). like wasnt there even a line in the show where wash is sarcastically like "yeah i had an ai unravel itself while its mind was indistinguishable from my own, but nah im totally fine" or something??? like how much of it was epsilon freaking out and how much of it was wash? was wash also freaking out in response to the feelings epsilon was having, causing a sort of chain reaction? or was he experiencing it in the same way epsilon was at the same time? and how did wash feel afterward, to find that he had survived? was epsilon still there or had he already been removed? like there are so many questions about the logistics of this and the impact it would have on a person and we get almost NOTHING.

wash and epsilon and carolina..... youre SO right. wash having extremely complicated feelings toward the relationship between them..... always having it at the back of his mind when talking to carolina even if epsilon isnt out. even if epsilon isnt even in carolinas head at the moment! and this would be SO FUCKING GOOD to focus on in season 10, where carolina is dragging around wash and the reds and blues and the big confrontation is wash siding with reds and blues over carolina. it really just makes that whole conflict so much JUICIER if wash is like. having a lot of feelings about carolina and epsilon, and telling himself to get over it, and trying his best to be on her side in spite of how hes feeling and due to this internal conflict he doesnt stop to think if he even SHOULD be on her side. WAY more dramatic. could even have smth like wash pushing back against carolina and epsilon popping up like "hey man i know weve had beef in the past but dont take it out on her" and even though that WASNT what he was doing he questions himself enough to agree and let it go. now THATS a conflict

and yeah the retcons are definitely a shame- the private jimmy bleedover memories one is probably my least favourite. i barely even regard that as canon tbh, its just an obvious bandaid to explain the inconsistencies with the new lore they came up with. because it doesnt happen with any other ai and its never explored again. so personally ive never really given it any thought but it certainly has potential! especially given the nature of epsilon and memory- the idea that they had some memory bleedover and now BOTH have a hard time distinguishing between their own memories could be SO interesting

PUTTING EPSILON IN WASHS HEAD TO HELP WITH HIS POOR FUNCTION. OHHHH MY GOD YOU GET ME. prev this scenario is so good i could kiss you. i will be thinking about this forever. neither of them want it and theyre both remembering the last time they shared a head but also epsilon being with carolina is actively making his life harder (and maybe also carolinas!) and theres an easily accessible solution RIGHT THERE. ohhhhhh thats SO GOOD. ITS JUST SO GOOD. someone tell me if this fic exists because i NEED to read it. and if it doesnt i might have to write it myself (lets be honest ill probably do that either way). the idea of wash resisting at first but then finally relenting and then they try and as soon as epsilon gets in washs head theyre both VIOLENTLY reminded of last time and wash has to come to terms with the fact that hes not as over it as he would like to believe. but in the meantime theres still a lot of strain on epsilon being in carolinas head and they need to do something about it..... GOD. ROTATING THIS IN MY BRAIN FOREVER

did they ever get along..... personally i like the idea that there was very little time between the implantation and the brain explosion. like somehow getting implanted triggered epsilon to access his memories and they were both immediately overwhelmed by the intensity of them. there are a lot of things the freelancer arc did that i dont agree with but i like that take on it- which wouldnt leave any time for getting along. HOWEVER. we are also told that the fragments are specifically paired with their agents based on their personalities. so i think its very delicious to have them be generally very compatible despite never having had the chance to actually explore that while epsilon was implanted. because theres this sense of what couldve been. they only associate each other with pain and fear but then epsilon makes a quip at tucker and wash joins in and theyre both laughing when they make eye contact and for a brief moment their history doesnt exist and they just genuinely connect. but then the moment is gone and all the memories come back and its bad again. something something in another lifetime we would have gotten along. do you feel me. however i do like the other perspective, that they worked together and got along before epsilon exploded. it certainly makes the feelings surrounding the incident itself more interesting, as well as the mixed feelings they have for each other. ugh its just so good either way

i think ive read a couple fics where epsilon blew himself up in response to the director trying to pull him and i LOVE that. in trying to cling to the person you love, you inadvertently hurt them..... very tasty. this also lends itself to a really one-sided washilon dynamic where epsilon has always loved wash but wash still hasnt recovered from how epsilon damaged him. absolutely love it

i also never really thought about how epsilon fragmented bc alpha thought he got wash and tex killed..... EXTREMELY interesting. youve gotta wonder about the process..... do they do that to ensure that the fragment is compatible with the agent in question? it would kinda make sense- someone that fragmented due to wash being killed would likely be fond of him, right? if it was that distressing to get him killed..... or maybe they pair them up just based on personality- if you disregard the timeline shown in 9-10 you can imagine they have a backlog of fragments that they can pick from to pair with a specific agent, so it could just be a coincidence. its also shown that the fragments have no specific memories (just a vague sense of who they are), so they probably assumed epsilon wouldnt remember fragmenting due to getting wash killed. but he most certainly did remember, and maybe that was part of the catalyst for blowing himself up??? whatever the case, it certainly has implications that are worth exploring!

ANYWAY thank you for the delicious tags, as you can see i had MANY thoughts about them. i will be chewing on this for at least the next month bc washilon lives in my brain Rent Free

thinking about post-implantation wash again.....

cause like. the rvb writers dropped a lot of balls, but this is the one i find personally the most upsetting. like. a soldier getting irreparably fucked up by an experiment gone wrong is the kind of premise i read fanfiction about (that probably says something about me but im not gonna examine it. moving on). especially since he STAYED with freelancer???? you could take this in so many different directions- his fellow freelancers are worried about him but he pushes through anyway. his fellow freelancers ARENT worried about him and push him harder than he can handle. the director pulls the ai fragments and theres hostility from more than just the one-dimensional "raging bitch" character. the director DOESNT pull the ai fragments, which seriously calls into question the ethics of the whole operation (which i believe is more in line with the pfl that was described in earlier seasons, but thats a story for another time) AND puts potential pressure on wash to get another implantation (oh my GOD. show me THAT version of pfl).

and of couse. how could i possibly forget epsilon. there is something so uniquely tasty about 2 characters who went through something traumatic together and then didnt see each other again until ages later- ESPECIALLY when one of them was the cause, even though they werent directly at fault, and the other was just unlucky enough to be involved. like holy shit????? the TENSION that would cause???? the discomfort being around each other? the guilt? having nowhere to place the blame except the director?? oh my GOD literally any interaction between them couldve had so much FLAVOUR. im not saying they need to be the main focus of the story or anything but we didnt get a single interaction!! not even a crumb!! like. do something with the fact that wash needed to have alpha in his head in season 6 despite refusing to ever have another ai after epsilon. do something with wash needing to SEE and HEAR and TALK TO epsilon again. do something with epsilon remembering fucking exploding in washs head!!!! im not asking for a lot here- asking for a lot would be suggesting a scenario like the one from season 6, except wash needs EPSILON in his head for some reason and gets legitimately triggered by it or cant bring himself to do it. thats the kind of shit i want to see, but i understand that that isnt carolina-centric enough so ill get it from fanfiction as god intended. but cant i ask for at least some awkwardness? maybe an uncomfortable confrontation? irrational hostility? SOMETHING. it doesnt have to be the focus but it should be THERE.

and like. youd think that this is an issue with retconning. and it kind of is, but its more about missed opportunities. like. i dont mind the retcon that freelancer was always its own thing, or that church was always an ai. those things are cool! they take the story in a more interesting direction! yeah it makes things more confusing and id prefer if the retcons werent necessary, but. its not the end of the world. but the thing with wash is. they did a really cool and interesting thing by having an ai COMMIT SUICIDE in his fucking HEAD. and then they went back on it! they very quickly went from "this clearly left a lasting impact on him" to "oh well it was bad, probably worse than hes letting on, but some of it was an act! so he could take em down from the inside!" to "yeah i mean he screamed while it was happening but he was fine when he woke up. no lasting consequences" and then it was never addressed again. and im mad about it!! they didnt even properly retcon it- they just decided that it had no consequences anymore, and it made washs character LESS interesting.

[steviesbicrisis]

Are you dating Eddie Munson?

I haven't stopped thinking about this AU idea so I decided to write a little bit more! I have other stuff in mind so I might write other scenes too, we'll see. A little summary for you:

Eddie and Steve have been dating for a few months now, and things couldn't go better between them. Being a popular kid and all, Eddie's love life is the talk of the campus, and everybody seems to wonder: what does Eddie Munson see in that ordinary freshman?

Steve doesn’t how it’s possible, but he's pretty sure words are moving around the page in front of him; some are blurry, others have a messed up order and a few are totally jumping out.

It wouldn't be the first time that happens to him, either. Sometimes it's impossible to focus, and the more he tries the fastest the words escape from him.

There's no solution for this either. Steve would never admit out loud how stupid he is, not over his dead body, so he'd rather stare at the same paragraph for hours than admit he doesn't understand. Robin is sitting across from him, eyes focused on the same book but a different paragraph, she looks deep in thought and Steve would bet she is far ahead of him. Steve shifts in his seat, pulling the book closer so she won't see he's still at the beginning of the chapter.

He looks back at the page, determined to at least finish reading it - the bare minimum - before they have to go to class.

«Hi, sorry to bother you but I have to ask - are you and Eddie Munson dating?»

Steve grips his book, because of course, as if his morning isn't going shits already, he also has to deal with this. Again. He gives one last glance at the paragraph before looking up «sorry, didn’t catch your name…?» he says instead, giving the girl the fakest smile he can master.

He is sure Robin is containing a laugh behind her book.

«Uhm, I’m Stacy» she’s taken aback, and a little annoyed «so, are you? dating.»

«I don't know for how much longer,» he says, teeth clenched. And really, he knows he's being dramatic and he knows that it's just an innocent question. Hell, he'd rather have them blatantly ask him than flirt with his boyfriend behind his back, but when you get asked the same question a million times over, you're bound to get a little pissed.

«Excuse me?»

«I mean, isn't that what you wanted to hear? You would be happy if I did, wouldn’t you? How about I do you a favor and write it down so you also have proof to show! Hell, I could make a fucking poster and hang it somewhere, so you and the rest of the student body will know for sure and will leave me the fuck alone.»

The girl - Stacy - takes a step back, her eyes fixed on Steve in a comical expression of shock and disbelief. She then turns to look at someone, probably mouthing something about Steve to her friends, like "can you believe this guy?" or "Munson must be crazy".

«Are we done?»

Stacy doesn't even bother to answer, she gives him a look of "you are insane" and walks away.

«Steve-»

«I know okay?» he interrupts Robin, not wanting to hear it «it’s stupid and I should let it go, but it pisses me off.»

«Then talk to Eddie! he could do something» she suggests, closing her book. It’s time for their first lecture. Steve hasn't even managed to finish the paragraph in two hours. Shit.

Talking with Eddie would be the better choice, it doesn’t make it any easier.

---

Steve is finally done with his last lecture and he's cutting through the inner courtyard to reach Robin at the entrance Hall. People have been whispering around him all day so he knows not only that the Stacy girl has no shame in pursuing taken men, she also has a big mouth.

Someone catches up with him and puts an arm around his middle.

«So, what is this thing about you breaking up with me with a billboard? Let me tell you it won’t work - I’m a sucker for drama and attention» Eddie presses on his side, his face only a few inches from Steve's. His smile is an amused one.

From the start, Eddie never shied away from physical touch: once he was sure Steve was comfortable with it - and not only he was, he loved it - there was always a part of Eddie in contact with him, whether it was an arm over his shoulders, fingers in his hair, hand on his back. Accordingly, they rarely did more than that in public, because even tho they were not hiding their relationship, homophobes still exist in 2022 and they live in Indiana.

Steve rolls his eyes and looks the other way, clenching the books he's carrying in his arms. Eddie's presence is enough to make him feel better, but he wants to stay mad «your groupies are delusional. And drop that grin or I might actually take on that billboard idea. I’ll make a giant one, over the main entrance» his tone is deadly serious but Eddie knows him better than to believe anything he's saying. He covers his grin with one hand, just in case.

«I know you're still smiling, Munson. I have a huge sheet and red paint at home and I'm not afraid to use it! It will look like that scene in Harry Potter, with the bloody writing on the wall and everything.»

Eddie can't believe that his boyfriend - who barely knew what Lord of the Rings was before they started dating - has just laid out a Harry Potter reference for him like it was a daily occurrence. He wants to kiss the daylight out of him, but that would make him actually mad.

So he puts his other arm around his stomach, caging him. They're forced to a stop.

«I'm sorry baby, you're just so cute all worked up,» Eddie says, containing himself from gushing all over him. Steve still avoids his gaze, but he's clearly melting under Eddie's attention. Pet names and physical touch always get through him.

«I'm glad one of us is having fun» Steve deadpans.

Eddie keeps one of his arms around his waist and lifts Steve's chin up with his free hand «I'm not gonna lie, it is kinda funny. And you are very cute and hot at the same time - somehow - but» he emphasizes the last word, dramatically, « I don't want you to be upset so, talk to me.»

Steve is a little embarrassed. He knows it doesn't matter, he's been through this before. People love gossiping, and he really doesn't care what they say. But also, he used to be the one on the other side, no one has ever questioned him being with anybody, or has given him that look of disgust he got from Eddie's most loyal fans.

Even so, Eddie has nothing to do with it.

«I'm sorry. I get you're some sort of rock star here, and I love that for you, I really do, but...» he's struggling to find the right words «... I don't know, I guess I'm a little jealous.»

«of the groupies?»

«No! Well, I don’t enjoy their presence, for sure. It’s more-» he’s trying to find the right words, Eddie rubs his palms on his back to encourage him «it’s about you. But not you - you, it's the way you carry yourself, like you were made for college! And everyone here can tell, as much as they can tell that I wasn't. I barely know which class I’m taking when, I don't understand what I'm studying and I feel like everyone here already knows what they’re doing, like they went to college before going to college, if this even makes any sense… and, I don’t know, it’s hard already when you know that you’re fucking up, but when everyone else knows and wonders why the great Eddie Munson is dating you of all people- it’s not great. But also, I can't even read a simple introductive chapter without getting a headache, so I get why people might have some reservations against me, I just wish they would keep it for themselves instead of bugging me every second of my life!»

While he was talking, Eddie had made them both sit at one of the picnic tables scattered around the court, he realizes.

It's clear to both of them that Steve's outburst isn't just about the gossip.

«I had no idea this was bothering you this much,» Eddie says, earnestly.

Steve starts fidgeting with Eddie's rings on his right hand, his left arm is still on Steve's back. He feels pathetic, bothering his boyfriend with trivial matters and his stupidity.

«It's not a big deal» he tries to take back some of his words, but Eddie interrupts him immediately.

«It is a huge deal if it bothers you this much. Plus, I get some curiosity about us, but asking you almost every day is just, fucked up.»

«Well, that's popularity for you. I thought you had figured this out by now» Steve jokes.

«Well, I was supposed to learn how to manage it from an expert, but somehow I always get distracted when he lectures me» he manages to make Steve chuckle. «But let's talk about college for a second. It flatters me that you think of me as a perfect social butterfly, but do I need to remind you that I came to you a couple of months ago because I couldn't take it anymore? Also» he shifts in his seat, taking Steve's hands in his «you're not giving yourself enough credit. College is fucking hard, man, especially first year. Everything is so big and serious and different compared to high school, you think I was this confident in my first year? it takes time to adjust, maybe even more for you since - well - you used to have the school at your feet. So trust your gorgeous, perfect-»

«I never said you were perfect.»

Eddie ignores him «-super famous boyfriend: you're doing great, you'll get there and even if you don't, there's no shame in failing. Okay?»

Steve stares at him for a few seconds, then nods «okay. But I don't think I can stand more people questioning your sanity for dating me.»

«Honestly, I'm pretty sure you misread the whole thing. They're totally thinking “why is Eddie Munson dating this hottie of all people? I don’t stand a chance”» Steve laughs, Eddie gets up «but just to be sure they won't bother you anymore...» he jumps on the picnic table, and Steve's eyes widen comically.

«Eddie what are you doing?? Come down!» he knows his boyfriend and his love for big grand speeches too well to not guess what he has in mind.

Eddie blows him a kiss «Attention everyone! Your favorite music department student has an announcement to make!» some people from said department immediately cheer and he thanks them with an exaggerated bow. Steve hides his face in his palm, knowing there's no way he can stop him now.

«I've heard there has been some confusion so let me clear the air: I, Eddie Munson, have been involved in a consensual, very sexual» Steve makes a strangled noise and a few people whistle «but also romantic relationship with this hot piece of ass right here» he puts his hands on Steve’s shoulders, leaving him no way to escape «Steve Harrington» he bends forward, Steve looks up at him and Eddie gives him a quick upside-down peck, as to reinforce the concept «who isn’t going to break up with me today, tomorrow or never. So, it’s none of your fucking business but if any of you shitheads has any concerns on this matter, you know where to find me. Thank you for your attention» he jumps off the table, the curious students who had stopped to witness the scene are giving a mix of incredulous, baffled and admiring reactions. Eddie barely cares, his eyes are on Steve.

«I fucking hate you» Steve immediately tells him.

«No you don’t» he's smirking.

«I'm breaking up with you right now.»

«No, you aren't, Stevie» his smile is somehow even bigger.

«I really, actually, genuinely hate you,» Steve says, hugging him. Eddie hugs him back, tight.

«How are you feeling?» Eddie whispers in his ear.

«I wanna say better but then I'm validating you putting up a show every time we have a problem.»

«I am nothing but a humble knight serving his Majesty the King,» he says, using a pompous tone for his character.

«I need no man saving my regal ass, thank you very much.»

When they reach the main Hall, Eddie's arm once again around his middle, Robin is waiting for them, a mischievous grin on her face «Excuse me» she addresses Steve, loudly «are you the famous Hot-Piece-of-Ass engaged in a consensual and very sexual relationship with Eddie Munson?»

Steve flips her off as Eddie laughs and high-fives her.

Let's just say, the nickname will stick with Steve for a while.

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

notoriously yours | jay park

✰ summary: jay park is a rich kid. it’s safe to say he has everything every broke college student on his campus could dream of and more. but the one thing he doesn’t have, which money definitely can’t buy, is a girlfriend. and his friends won’t see of it. literally.

so what happens when his friends bet him to date someone for more than three months? what happens when jay decides that fake-dating someone would be easier than actual dating (because god forbid Jay–the campus’ notoriously known fuckboy–decides to commit to something once in his life)?

and what happens when that someone is you, his childhood best friend he hasn’t spoken to in years..who has absolutely no interest in being in his life anymore?

✰ pairing: jay park x y/n [ft. members of enha]

✰ genre: fluff, comedy, angst | fakedating!au, college!au, childhoodbestfriends!au, (kinda) e2l!au

✰ warnings: cursing, nothing suggestive but jay's a fuckboy so slightly suggestive themes, mentions of parental neglect/leaving, it's hella long (and i thought my last fic was long)

✰ wc: 14.7k (how did i get it this long oh lord)

✰ author's note: picture creds go to original owners/editors! peep that edit of jay that lowkey inspired this entire fic 👀also this took me so, so long bc i lost motivation half way thru and bc college is a thing,,,so i honestly don't know how to feel abt it so pls bare with me :')))) ALSO the dividers are weird bc idk how to add more than 10 pics for the dividers so pls excuse those ٩(× ×)۶i hope u guys enjoy!! <333

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Jay Park is a rich kid.

Jay Park has enough to buy every textbook he needs for his courses without having to look up the free versions online. Jay Park has enough to bribe his professors to let him pass every class with a perfect 4.0 GPA (but because the boy has morals, he doesn't). Jay Park has enough to afford a car to drive to his furthest class from his dorm building instead of walk or bike like every other college student, meaning he also has enough to afford a parking spot on campus (those things aren't cheap!).

Jay Park walks around your school's campus like he owns the place (and considering the amount of money his family has donated to the school, he practically does), looking like he just walked out of your local coffee shop's newest fashion magazine. His blonde hair is never seen untouched, his attire usually consisting of an undoubtedly high-end all-black fit, accessorized with multiple earrings and rings that probably cost more than all the overpriced textbooks you had to rent out this semester. It's safe to say that everyone knows Jay Park.

Bottom line is, Jay Park has everything.

Well, his friends beg to differ.

In their eyes, Jay Park has everything but a simple factor in the equation of love (or whatever love is to the minds of a couple of 19 year olds): commitment.

So yes, it's safe to say that everyone knows Jay Park. Because everyone knows he's the campus' rich fuckboy. (What's a college fanfic campus without one anyways?)

Jay doesn't go unreminded of this by his friends, to the boy's annoyance.

Jay is aware of this on a Sunday afternoon, in his dorm building's first floor lounge, where he and his said friends are having a study session.

They're doing anything but studying.

In fact, no one has any books out or anything. Not a single laptop in site.

"You don't think it's the slightly bit concerning?" Jake's words are muffled as he continues munching on the fried chicken that he spent majority of this study session debating if he should have it delivered through UberEats or not.

"I really don't, no," Jay shrugs as he continues mindlessly scrolling through his Instagram feed. They're having the same argument conversation that they've revisited multiple times over the course of their friendship, one that Jay has been lectured on too many times for his own good. He thinks his friends could become his new parents if they really tried.

"Look at it this way, okay. You're about to graduate college in a couple of years, into the big world. Like the actual, adult world. And that means you'll have to settle down. Which you can't do when you. have. no. commitment!" Jake punctuates each word with a single clap of his hands, desperate to get his point across.

Jay simply rolls his eyes. He looks over to Sunghoon, who's minding his own business, not bothered by the same topic he's heard over and over again. His eyes tell Jay you're on your own, in response to his blonde-haired friend's look of despair.

Jay thinks that maybe he should get new friends. Yes, that's the only solution here.

"My love life," Jay reaches across the table for a drumstick from the greasy tub seated in Jake's lap until Jake swats his hand away, "is none of your business. Also, ouch."

"Uh, it kinda is. Because of you and your reputation around campus, it kinda affects us, your best friends. How do you think we look, hanging out with the guy who's known to ghost every girl in existence after one night with them? No offense to you," Jake deadpans to him. Jay mentally reconsiders the term best friends.

Tough love. Jay tells himself it's tough love.

"Yes, because every girl totally hates Jake Sim, the teacher assistant of a physics class who volunteers at the pet shelter every Sunday and brings their pet golden retriever to campus every two weeks," Jay rolls his eyes at his Australian friend.

Jake sighs. "Okay, then I'm coming from a place of worry for you."

Jay groans. "Again, none of your business!" This doesn't stop Jake. He comes from good intentions, really, but Jay wants nothing more than to stuff the kid's mouth with some of that chicken to shut him up.

"What are you gonna do if one day you meet someone you like, genuinely like, and you screw yourself over because you've never been in an actual relationship before? A real, committed one. Like one that lasts at least three months."

"You don't think I can last three months in a relationship?" Jay questions the boy currently taunting him.

"Honestly? No. What's the longest relationship you've been in?" Jake cocks an eyebrow at his friend across from him.

One month and two weeks. But Jay's smart enough to not say that out loud.

"I can so last over three months," Jay mutters more to himself than Jake.

Jake laughs at that, pausing to take another bite of the drumstick in his hand. "Jay, I am willing to actually bet you. Bet that you wouldn't be able to." He leans back on the couch, the ball now in Jay's court.

Jay freezes, looking up from his phone, narrowing his eyes at Jake.

"Forget it, Jake. He's not gonna agree even if you offered him money," Sunghoon finally perches from beside him. Well he's not wrong. It's not like Jay is exactly in need of more money, per say.

"What kind of bet are we talking here?"

Sunghoon's right. Jay doesn't need the money, but he does hate being wrong. Even if it's over something as stupid as this matter.

Caught off guard by the blonde's answer, Jake blinks blankly at him and takes a second to think.

"Hmm..what about...what about if you can date someone for at least three months, and I mean an actual, committed relationship, then I'll do all of your physics homework next semester."

Jay's eyes sparkle at that. If there's anything he despises more than commitment, it's physics.

"And if I win, you have to buy all of my textbooks," Jake sits back from the edge of his seat with a smirk lying on his face.

Jay pauses to think about it. I mean, what does he have to lose? A couple hundred dollars over college textbooks? No. Because he just simply won't lose.

And maybe he'll learn what it'll be like to actually be in a committed relationship for once. Maybe he'll finally learn what it's like to actually devote yourself to someone, open up to them. He shivers at the thought. Never mind. He'll warm up to it. Baby steps.

Nonetheless, what could go wrong? Even if he does lose, at least his money would be going somewhere productive––towards his friend's education. Jay was probably gonna use that money on something useless like a blanket that resembles a tortilla (a burrito blanket, he calls it)––something he doesn't necessarily need, but must have, he would argue.

"Fine. Whatever, okay. Deal," he grabs Jake's extended hand in front of him and shakes on it.

Jake's impressively smiling at the boy as Sunghoon lets out a sigh, in disbelief with the two guys he calls his best friends.

Jay concludes that this will be easier than his Introduction to Photography 101 course he took his freshman year. How hard is it to find someone to date the Jay Park? Surely, everyone will be lining up once Jay switches his FaceBook relationship status from "it's complicated" to "single".

Turns out, it's not as easy as his class where all Jay had to do was take pictures of a pretty sunset, slap a VSCO filter on, and call it a day.

He comes to this realization on a Wednesday evening, as he's seated at one of the many study tables lined in the middle of the campus' library, staring down at his phone's dry iMessage app, with his laptop and blank sheets of scratch paper scrambled across the entire table, as an attempt to look half as studious as the other students studying in the facility.

Turns out, being known as the campus' fuckboy who ghosts every girl on campus isn't a good thing when it comes to wanting to find a real relationship.

He comes to this realization after failing to receive a single text back to the many ones he sent out throughout the first half of his day. The ghoster gets ghosted. Oh how the turn tables.

Jay groans dramatically as he tosses his phone on the hard surface of the table, earning himself a harsh shush from the librarian filing books in the aisle beside him.

He sheepishly smiles back as an apology, directing his attention back to his open laptop screen, where his untouched calculus homework stares back at him––his mind preoccupied with the looming threat of Jake's bet. Not that it was threatening in any way, per say, but Jay just hates losing. And from the looks of things, it's safe to say that Jay won't be celebrating any victories anytime soon.

Jay thinks he should just change his identity and just transfer to some boarding school in Switzerland. Yes, that's a much better solution than admitting defeat to Jake.

Jay sighs as he lies his head on the table, figuring he might as well just write the check for Jake's textbooks now. He wonders how he got here in the first place. Not how he got into the bet, and definitely not how he's sitting in the middle of the library, having yet to start his calculus homework due at 11:59PM tonight (he should really start that).

But no, he wonders how he gained the reputation as the campus' playboy. To be fair, his friends (mainly Jake), are constantly reminding him of his notorious habits. But how did they come a habit in the first place?

The idea of being in a relationship is nice, sure, but the commitment that comes with it? The idea of being dependent on someone? It's scary, vulnerable, and one that Jay can't picture for himself.

Maybe some people just aren't meant to be paired. Maybe some people, like Jay, like being independent and are meant to stay that way.

But Jay also likes affection. He likes the fleeting, warm feeling he gets every time he finds himself under someone's sheets. He likes the short-lived comfort he receives from someone else's touch, even though he knows it's going to cease to exist the second he steps out of those bedroom's doors. He just likes affection, simple as that.

That and he's a 19 year old teenage boy with needs, what did you expect?

And so what if he likes the idea of affection minus commitment? Is that so bad? Apparently it is, to people like his friends and the entirety of his school's campus, at least.

At this rate, he might as well pay someone to date him.

Wait. Jay lifts his head off the table's surface in realization.

He might as well pay someone to date him.

There's no harm in that, is there?

He wouldn't have to endure through an endless amount of dates to find someone he clicks with, then continue going on dates with said clicked person, all while trying to develop an actual, serious relationship.

He'll win the bet, get his physics homework done for an entire semester, and some lucky girl out there will be making profit for the small price of hanging out with Jay Park for three months.

And lucky for him, Jay knows the perfect candidate for this scheme.

Simple as that.

Just as long as said perfect candidate says yes.

And as long as Jake and Sunghoon don't find out. Or else Jay might really have to move to Switzerland after all.

You love your friends, you do.

Hana and Heeseung have been there for you when others haven't––they were by your side when you knew no one entering high school, and they were still by your side when you were all graduating said high school. Needless to say, you're eternally grateful for friends like them.

But right now, in this moment––with you seated in the middle of the campus' library, trying to write your essay, as your two friends blabber on and on about the most recent gossip across from you––your two friends could be your villain origin story.

But again, you love your friends, you do. So you don't have the heart to tell them to leave. You've managed to naturally tune out most of the conversation, anyways, for this––your friends coming to hang out while you're trying to study––is no rare occurrence by any means.

"Oh yeah, Jay Park texted me last night."

You hate how your brain's filter suddenly turns off at Hana's words.

You hate how your ears catch the sudden mention of Jay Park's name.

You hate how the thought of Jay Park gets to even occupy a single brain cell of yours.

You hate how you even know who Jay Park is. Well, knew.

Past tense. Because up until eighth grade––when Jay decided to just suddenly pretend you didn't exist––he was attached to you like a koala to a eucalyptus tree.

And if you had asked past Y/N, ideally, Jay would've never left your side. Ideally, he would've never left you to fend for yourself when entering high school. Ideally, he would've stayed your best friend through out all four years of high school and ideally, you would've eventually told him how you really felt about him after growing up with him all your life. And maybe it would've lead to a completely different story. But for the sake of this fic, we don't live in an ideal world.

So yes, if it wasn't for his attendance at the very same university as you, you would've forgotten about the boy who brought you the painful memories of your childhood.

And since the universe clearly doesn't work in your favor, avoiding Jay Park's existence like he's the plague would have to suffice. And it works.

For the most part.

Until some people, bring him up uninvited into your conversation. Like now, for example.

"When was the last time you guys talked anyways?" Heeseung mindlessly asks as he reaches across the table to grab one of the many snacks you usually bring to your study sessions.

"Uh..like a few weeks ago. Give or take. Whenever you threw your house party. Can't say there was much talking involved however," she teasingly says with a giggle and wiggle of her brows.

Heeseung's rolling his eyes as you scoff and chuck a nearby crumpled piece of paper that was once one of your many essay drafts at her.

She bats it away right as it's about to hit her face as she laughs. "Doesn't matter anyways. He ghosted me the next morning, as he does with everyone else. Telling you this now," she extends a finger right at you, "stay away from Jay Park. That kid's just bad news."

You nod in response, mentally telling her she has nothing to worry about.

Been there, done that.

College. Ah yes, the very concept of spending four years of your life imprisoned on a campus where you'll be tearing your hair out from stress and spending all your life's savings just for a laminated sheet of paper with a golden stamp at the end of it all. We live in a society.

Because of said college, and all the weight that comes along with it, you had adapted a strict daily schedule in order to not completely lose your mind. It's a simple schedule really, one of a typical college student who's just trying to get by everyday with as little mental breakdowns as possible.

Wake up, get ready, go to class, go to the library to do your homework, walk all the way across campus to get back to your dorm, shower, then sleep. Oh and eat, of course. And maybe if time permits, be an actual social being and socialize.

It's gotten you this far into the college life without dropping out so, you conclude, you must be doing something right.

Sometimes, if you're feeling nice to yourself, you'll tweak the schedule a bit to fit in some exceptions. Maybe squeeze in a little trip to the bubble tea shop that's on the other side of campus, or maybe get dinner at that one dining hall that you don't usually go to because of the unncessarily long lines (but because they serve ice cream, you go anyways). It doesn't matter what the exception is, you still plan it out to fit into your schedule somehow. Everything is planned out.

Sometimes, however, the universe disagrees with your schedule, to your demise. Such as today, for example.

Because what you didn't expect for today was for a particular blonde-haired boy who you haven't spoken to in almost six years (but who's counting?) to approach your table in the library––a table you were sure no one could find you at, as it was quietly tucked away in the back corner, right next to the Astrophysics shelves. Because who browses the Astrophysics aisle for fun? Actually, maybe Jake Sim would. Anyways.

You definitely didn't anticipate a visit from the boy you've been actively avoiding, so you definitely didn't expect the first words coming out of his mouth when he sees you for the first time in six years to be:

"Fake date me."

You blink up at him.

Yeah, definitely not expected.

But you only let it phase you for a split second, until you feel a slight annoyance beginning to bubble up deep inside of you.

"Wow, hello to you too Jay! It's been what––half a decade? Yeah I've been pretty good, thanks for asking!" The sarcasm is practically dripping off your tongue.

You don't know what runs through Jay's mind, but apparently it isn't common sense––or the ability to read the room. Because next thing you know, he's sliding the chair across from you out from underneath the table and making himself at home.

And he's smiling right at you.

Curse him and his smile.

But no, you're not giving into it.

Not yet, at least.

"What do you want?" You deadpan at him when he makes no sign of making the next move.

"A girlfriend," he deadpans right back at you, as if he was casually telling you what he wanted for dinner. As if you two were close-knit friends that could approach one another without any proper greeting. As if you two had kept your friendship all these years. As if you two even had a role in each other's lives.

"Can't help you there," you scoff, deciding to not even question his lack of manners on top of his uninvited presence.

"Aren't you gonna ask me why?"

"Well gee, seeing that the first few words you decided to say to my face for the first time in forever were a demand, a demand to date you no less, then....no," your monotone voice says as you keep your eyes focused on your laptop screen, not daring to look at the boy across from you.

In the Introduction to Sociology course you took your freshmen year, you had learned of one important term: interactional vandalism. Textbook definition being: "ignoring signals of disinterest in a conversation, leading it to an offense."

Your definition being: "are you oblivious or just plan dumb, read the room!"

This was interactional vandalism, alright. Whether Jay's truly oblivious or just trying to annoy you until your head explodes (it's really the former, but you're convinced it's the latter), he takes your signals of disinterest and tosses it right out of his head to continue the conversation.

"I'm stuck in this stupid bet with Jake--do you remember him? He bet me that I couldn't date someone for more than three months and I figured having someone fake date me would be easier than actually dating someone, right? That's where you come into the equation," he proposes as he leans back in his chair, as if he had just finished a sales pitch to a prospective customer looking to buy a car.

You couldn't believe this. You're 98% sure this has got to be a prank. You're mentally preparing for a camera crew to jump out from in-between the library's aisles any moment now and scream into your ears that you've just been punk'd!

The remaining 2% of you, however, wouldn't put it past the two boys to get themselves in such a situation. The last memory you had of Jay and his friends were pretty much their childish selves back in middle school. And by looking at the current scene unfolding in front of you...it's needless to say they haven't changed much.

"Again, can't help you there. Ask one of the many girlfriends I thought you had." Ouch.

"But Y/N, you've known me all your life--"

"Up until you dropped me a few years ago but sure, let's call it that."

"--and convincing other people is gonna make me look--"

"--desperate? Yeah."

"C'mon, Y/N. What do you have to lose anyways?"

"Uh..my dignity? Pride? Self-respect? Sorry Jay, not happening," you turn your attention back to your unwritten essay in front of you, mentally checking out of this conversation. This would be a good time for that camera crew to jump out now.

"Look, no one else is gonna do it, Y/N." Jay has always been stubborn, you suppose. But so are you.

"Yeah, because you've managed to push every being of the opposite gender away from you. You gave yourself this reputation in the first place," you give it to him straight. It's not like you had a relationship with him to uphold anyways–��Jay himself broke that friendship years ago.

Jay hates that you're right.

You're always right. He remembers how he used to always go to you for advice and clarity on the world's biggest problems. Granted, the world's biggest problems to him at the time equated to what he should dress up as for the fifth grade Halloween party, but still. A tough decision, for the mind of a ten-year-old.

You abruptly stop typing and begin putting your laptop and textbooks away as you huff in frustration. There's no point in trying to get your work done now. The longer you stay arguing with Jay, the bigger your headache gets. The longer he continues to occupy any part of your brain, the bigger your headache gets.

Getting up from your seat, packed and ready to slam your head into your pillow, you turn to the blonde one last time.

"Look Jay. We went on our separate ways years ago. If you weren't so notoriously known around campus and my friends would stop talking about you, I would've long forgotten you. I'm sorry you're in this situation, really. If I were you, I'd just tell Jake I can't do it. Or don't, I can't tell you what to do. Just don't get some innocent girl involved in whatever stunt of yours this is."

Jay stares at you, mouth agape, as you find your way out of the library and through the main doors. By the time he comes back to his senses, he realizes how he looks plain stupid––standing in the middle of the library, the look on his face screaming befuddlement, to say the least. Jay quickly makes his way out of the building, in hopes of convincing you one last time.

Jay catches sight of your figure already half-way down the walkway that connects the library to the main quad of your school's campus. Geez, you walk fast.

Not fast enough to outrun Jay's legs, however. If Jay running after you through the middle of campus in order to convince you to fake date him doesn't show how desperate he is to win this bet, I don't know what will.

"Wait, Y/N!"

You groan to yourself before turning to face the boy who can't seem to take a hint and leave you alone. You stare at his out-of-breath state as he heaves up and down from the slight jog he had to endure to get to where you are. If you're humored by him chasing after you, you do a good job of hiding it.

He meets your unimpressed state before stating his final proposition: "I'll pay you. Five hundred dollars."

You nearly stop breathing.

Now this catches your attention––after all, you're but a broke college student who's just trying to survive. And preferably not by feeding yourself instant ramen cups every night.

And so, naturally, you begin rethinking about the opportunity presented in front of you. You narrow your eyes at the boy as you weigh your options.

The first problem being, it's Jay Park––the bane of your very existence. You spent the last few years of your life pretending he didn't exist...for good reason. Not only did he do you dirty when you were merely a couple of 13-year-olds, but you just didn't want to be involved with someone like him. Someone known for his nature, someone who left your own current best friend ghosted. And not that Hana herself would care, for she has called herself the "female Jay Park", but you're sure this would be breaking some rule in the girl code handbook. Plus, if you agree to this, you'd be betraying 13-year-old Y/N, the one who decided to never speak to nor think of Jay Park again––which by now you've failed, but you get the gist.

Second problem being, three months is a long time. Three months is practically the rest of this semester, and did you really want to spend the rest of the semester tied down to the label of being Jay Park's girlfriend? There would have to be some negative connotations that came along with that title, right? No offense to Jay, but being his first girlfriend since, what, high school could make you come off as..naive, for lack of a better term. As if the only person you could settle for was Jay Park. As if you barely had any standards for yourself. Again, no offense to Jay.

Needless to say, if your school's debate club had to argue on why you shouldn't be doing this, you're sure the negating side could win with these two reasons alone.

But before you're rejecting the boy currently standing in front of you one last time, you find yourself mentally listing rebuttals.

First of all, you'd be getting paid. And again, you're merely but a college student living the stereotypical broke college student life––burdened by the costs of tuition, textbooks, and midnight McDonalds runs for when you're out of aforementioned instant ramen cups. Five hundred dollars could provide you with more than enough chicken McNuggets to last you the semester, and maybe some more to treat yourself to an online shopping spree.

Second of all, it's not like you were going to do anything better with your next three months anyways. It's safe to say you were too busy being a diligent student to actually look for anyone to date, per say. And if anything, having a fake boyfriend might actually be helpful in your case. Your mom would be off your ass about how you're still single, for one. And two, your friends (though it's really just Heeseung) would stop trying to hook you up on blind dates with guys that you would choose Jay Park over any day (and that really says something).

Third of all, it's Jay Park. As much as you despise the kid, you still know him. He's not a complete stranger to you, no matter how much you try to deny it. It could be worse, it could be a complete rando asking you to date him. At least you two have some sort of history, which would take care of the typical small talk and getting to know each other bit of this equation. And truth be told, you'd be lying to yourself if you said you weren't a tad bit satisfied by the fact that Jay chose you, of all people, to pull off this stunt with him. You don't know if it's the nostalgia of your childhood memories rushing back to you, but it reminds you of the endless schemes you two used to plan behind your parents' backs all the time. Granted, your childhood schemes––such as the both of you faking sickness so you could skip school together––don't even fall close to being in a fake relationship with one another, but still. It's the thought that counts.

All of those reasons plus, Jay isn't the worst to look at. He may have a spoiled reputation, but at least he has his looks going for him, you'll give him that (you're still secretly wondering when and how did he get his glow up, but don't tell him that).

And so by the guidelines of a college student's logic that states the pros outweigh the cons, you come to the overarching conclusion that maybe, this won't be so awful after all.

"Five hundred?" You ask, just for clarification. Jay's immediately nodding at your words. You continue to ponder on your thoughts as he stares at you hopefully.

The silent atmosphere of your campus heightens the tension so much, you swear you're in one of those overdramatic pausing scenes that occur too many times in k-dramas.

You sigh, then nod.

"Okay," you're internally praying that you won't regret this decision. "I'm in."

The next time you see Jay is at 12:17PM on a Friday afternoon, as you're exiting the doors of the lecture building that's home to your awfully long Capitalism in the Western World class.

You're going down the steps of the building, mentally deciding where and what you're going to treat yourself to for lunch––as the three hour lecture you had just attended drained all the life and energy out of you––when you hear the slight call of your name.

Turning to the source, you're met with a waving Jay, leaning against the passenger's side of his car, parked in front of the lecture hall building you were currently leaving.

Great.

You walk over to where he's casually waiting––he's unaware of all the stares he's attracted from fellow students leaving the same lecture as you. Can you blame them? It's not everyday you see a sleek, black BMW that probably cost more than your tuition pull up in front of your Friday afternoon lecture. It's not everyday you see Jay Park waiting for anyone outside of his said sleek, black BMW that probably cost more than your tuition.

"Hi," you simply let out as you plant yourself in front of him, not sure whether or not to question him why are you here? Surely, he wasn't waiting for you?

"Hi," he smiles down at you. There's a beat of silence. "I was waiting for you."

Bingo.

"Oh. What are you, my chauffeur?" You raise an eyebrow, unimpressed.

"Maybe. I am your boyfriend, after all," he says into the air, loud and clear, as if he wanted people to hear. Well that is the point, you suppose.

But still, all you want to do is smack the smirk right off his face.

Before you have time to put your next question into words, he answers it for you.

"I'm taking you out for lunch," he declares as if you have nothing else planned for the day. Well, to be fair, you didn't have anything else planned for the day. Except for your usual library run. But you figure the library could wait.

"Oh, like on a date?" You raise your eyebrows teasingly at him as you get into the car, Jay holding the door wide open for you. "Is Jay Park treating me to lunch as a date?"

Jay fights the scowl (or is that a smile?) growing on his face as he bends down to meet your eye level from inside the car. "Don't flatter yourself, princess. We've got fake lives to live."

"Call me princess one more time and you won't have a real life to live," you flash him a sarcastic smile and slam the door in his face.

Jay meets his own shocked reflection on the passenger's side window.

Cute.

"When you said you were taking me out to lunch, I expected like...I don't know...the diner on campus. Not whatever this is," you mutter to Jay as the two of you are brought to your table by a waitress at an upscale sushi restaurant, one that is undoubtedly out of your usual budget, but for sure an upgrade from your dining hall's pizza you were planning to have. You should've figured as much, the drive here was a little more than out of the way from campus, and who are you kidding, it's Jay Park you're eating with.

You stare down at your current outfit, which consisted of a hoodie you've owned since your junior year of high school and leggings that you threw on without second thought this morning––because you didn't exactly wake up and decide I'm going to go to a fancy sushi bar for lunch today!

"Why are we here anyways?" You ask him when you're both settled in your seats and the waitress walks away after listing the chef's specials for the day.

"Oh, they have killer dragon rolls here, you have to try it," Jay tells you nonchalantly as his eyes rake the menu in front of him, blocking your view of him.

How dense can one be? Your hand snatches his menu as you stare into his unamused eyes.

"No, Jay. I mean, why are we here? It's not like anyone's around to see us put on a show anyways."

"Oh. I figured," Jay's quick to grab the menu back from out of your hands as he continues, "that we should sit down and establish how exactly we're going to deliver this performance. After all, you're stuck with me for the next three months."

Again, smacking the smirk currently resting on his face would satisfy you beyond relief. Just once.

"If I drop out halfway through, do I still get $250?" You tease, leaning back.

"Ha ha. Funny. No," he narrows his eyes at you from across the table. "It's all or nothing."

You dramatically huff to make a show just for his annoyance.

"Worth a try. But sure, let's solidify this. What's the game plan?" You sit up in your seat, leaning over the table as if the two of you were hosting a secret meeting.

"It's simple really," Jay mirrors your actions, face leaning in close to where yours is hovering over the table. "Just pretend to be deeply in love with me for three months, and try not to actually be charmed by my cunning looks."

If someone gave you five dollars for every time you've already rolled your eyes at him today, you wouldn't even need to be in this deal for the five hundred dollars.

"Wow, smooth. Can I just remind you you're the one paying a girl to be in a fake relationship with you because you're just not competent enough to find an actual girlfriend?" You lean back, arms crossing over your figure.

Jay, unfazed, laughs, tongue briefly hitting the inside of his cheek. "Touché."

Your eyes go back to the menu in front of you as a silence falls over the table. Because you're not a loaded trust fund baby who comes to fancy five-star sushi restaurants for lunch on a daily, you don't recognize half of the entree names on the menu. You spot the dragon roll Jay suggested, but seeing that a basic California roll is less expensive, your natural broke-college-student-instincts figure the California roll shall do.

"Okay, in all seriousness," Jay begins as he puts his menu down. "It's simple really. We'll just go on weekly dates and post cute pictures of each other once in a while and a little after three months, I'll just say it didn't work out. I'll give you the five hundo and boom, we move on with our lives."

It's clear Jay's put some thought into this. Safe to say he's put more effort planning this out than the amount of work he's been putting into his classes. Someone's got their priorities straight.

You're impressed to say the least––you figured Jay would just be the kind to go with the flow and wait for the situation to unfold on its own and maybe blow up into flames. But seeing as he was just as serious about winning this bet as you were with making five hundred dollars, your doubts about this entire situation were slowly withering away.

Don't get it wrong, though, you still despise him. To an extent, at least.

"And don't worry about the dates. I'll pay on your behalf, as the loving, doting boyfriend I am," Jay finishes with a wide, cheesy smile you can't help but return a growing smile back at.

"Well then, as the loving, doting girlfriend I am, I shall gift you coffee, breakfast, all that fun couple stuff, whenever you please. Or maybe unannounced, if I'm feeling nice," you figure you should pitch in as much if he's paying for all your dates. And deep down, you find the idea kinda cute. But don't tell anyone that.

"Wow, look at us. We should become Dispatch's couple of the year already!" Jay exclaims, earning himself a small giggle from you, which pleases him to say the least. He thinks that maybe when this is all over, he'll hopefully make a good friend (well, for the second time) out of it.

And you're thinking that maybe the next three months won't be as bad as you initially had thought.

As the two of you delve deep into a debate about who would be the better significant other to each other, the waitress comes over to take your orders.

And because you're laughing and Jay's brightly smiling at you from across the table, you order the dragon roll.

The second time Jay takes you out––this time he gives you a heads up to get ready––it's at a, once again, high-class steakhouse.

The third time, you insist on the on-campus diner that's popular amongst the student population. Partially because you feel bad for the amount of money he's spent on you (even though he couldn't care less), but mostly because if you have to put on another fancy dress to just eat an overpriced meal that doesn't even fully satisfy your hunger, you might lose your mind.

And by this third time, Jake is aware of this newly blossomed relationship.

"Three dates! I didn't know you had it in you, going on three dates with the same girl!" Jake excitedly exclaims as he jumps into the empty spot on Jay's dorm bed and shoves his phone's screen into Jay's face.

The smaller screen displays Jay's most recent Instagram post: an image of you sitting behind your too-small-to-be-this-expensive-steak and smiling right into Jay's camera––a memory that brings a smile to his face:

~ ~ ~

"C'mon! We said Instagram posts would be a part of the deal! How else can we convince people we're dating?" A pout rests on Jay's face as he stares at you from across the table in the middle of the extravagantly decorated restaurant he picked out for your second date. You remember your eyes bulging out of their own sockets when you saw the "$$$$$" rating Yelp gave the place when you searched it up earlier.

"Okay, okay! One picture," you give in, already slightly annoyed that you were here instead of the comfort of your own bed, where you could be rewatching your favorite Netflix show for the third time. But because you made a deal and because you're desperate for money, you had to follow through––so here you were.

You flash an unconvincing smile to Jay's camera, which doesn't satisfy him, to say the least. "At least pretend you're somewhat enjoying this date," he frowns at you.

You sigh, until a thought crosses your mind and a smile grows on your face. "Only if you get me boba afterwards."

He narrows his eyes at you, but then meets your smile. "Sure, whatever you want. But only because I've been craving some mango milk tea lately."

"You're a fruit milk tea kind of guy? Sorry, but I might have to fake break-up with you," you tease as you take a sip of your overpriced drink to go with your overpriced meal.

Jay scoffs, feigning hurt by placing his hand over his heart. "Ouch. But before you break up with me, let me get this Instagram post in."

"Wow. Your priorities are so straight," you roll your eyes at him, eliciting a cheeky smile from him as he watches you through his held up phone screen.

"3,2,1."

"Hey, I wasn't ready! That was like mid-laugh!" You reach over the table to grab the phone, but not quick enough for him to put his phone back into his pants' pocket.

"Nope, nuh uh," he laughs as you quickly sit back down into your seat, not wanting to cause a scene in an establishment as proper as this one.

"It's fine. It's a good picture, you look cute," he casually lets out, unaware of the blush rising to the surface of your cheeks, thanks to the fact that you were suddenly interested in playing with the left-over food on your plate.

"Jay! Delete it, I'll let you take another one," you whine from your seat, imagining just how bad a candid picture of you could be.

"Ugh, fine. Ever so picky." He playfully rolls his eyes at you as he takes his phone out and opens the camera app as you prepare yourself.

"Okay, how's this?" Jay turns the phone screen to you after he takes a few snaps on his phone.

"I approve," you grin at him as he goes through the pictures himself, unaware of the smile growing on his face.

"Okay now delete the first one," you point your finger at him, narrowing your eyes at him.

"Okay, okay! Bossy," he laughs as he raises in hands in surrender.

When Jay gets home that night, he recovers the image from his Recently Deleted folder, telling himself it's for the sake of the memory.

Obviously.

~ ~ ~

"It's not that big of a deal," Jay mutters from his spot as his eyes go from the Instagram post to his Exile and Belonging in Modern Literature reading that's due tomorrow, bright yellow highlighter in hand. Typically, you'd find the reading buried deep at the bottom of his school backpack. But because Jay ran into you this morning and because he complained to you about the amount of work he's fallen behind on and because you had threatened him to do his work or else you're not going on another date––a fake date that is––with him, he figured he should at least get one reading done and annotated, despite his strong dislike for highlighters (they hurt his eyes, okay?)

What he doesn't know, however, is how your threat was completely full of bluff––but don't tell him that.

"It is so a big deal, for you at least!" Jake hops off the bed and lands on the wooden floors of Jay's dorm room so hard, Jay winces and sends a mental apology to the poor person who lives below him.

Jake suddenly gasps. "I have to meet her, Jay! As your best friend, it's practically mandatory that I meet her."

Jay opens his mouth to protest, but not before Jake interrupts him once again. "Oh! We can bring Sunghoon too, it'll be so fun! The best friends meet the girlfriend."

Jay can't think of anything worst. Jay imagines that bringing you to meet his best friends would just intimidate you out of dating him––fake dating him, that is. Obviously.

He stares at his friend in agony then back at the reading in front of him––the one Jake said he'd come over to help annotate, but the intention completely left Jake's head the second he heard about Jay's recent dating life.

"You don't have to meet her," Jay says pointedly. "Plus, you already know her."

Jake frowns at his friend's excuse. "Yeah, but that was in middle school! This is different."

Jay's hands shuffle through the reading's pages in front of him as he realizes there's no way the two of them are going to finish the assignment at this point. He supposes he'll have to save death by blindness from highlighters for another day and hope you still agree to go out with him.

Jake suddenly gasps in realization.

"Oh my gosh! Childhood best friends turned college sweethearts," Jake says so dreamily, he might as well plaster heart eyes on. Hopeless romantic, this one.

Before Jay can argue, the piercing sound of three loud knocks echo through the small room, followed with a:

"Jay, are you in? It's me!"

Jay stills at the sound of your sweet voice. He whips his head to Jake, who is also frozen in place.

But the widened-eye boy is quick to come to his senses––unfortunately quicker than Jay himself––because the next thing Jay knows, Jake's eyes are lighting up and he's running to the door, ignoring Jay's screaming whispers through this seething teeth that were somewhere along the lines of Jake––stop, I swear to god if you open that door I'm gonna fucking--

"Y/N!" Jake swings the door wide open, revealing an overly excited him and a frozen Jay half-way to the door, as if he was about to grab the very boy welcoming you in. It's as if we're living in a Sims game and the player clicked pause on this very moment.

Jake's eyes are wildly going back and forth between you and your supposed boyfriend, as if he was waiting for Jay to run over and smother you in hugs and kisses...or something couple-y like that. Jay wouldn't know.

"Uh––hi," you're awkwardly standing inside the room now, a relatively large paper brown bag resting in your palms as you look around for a surface to place it on. Jay makes his way to you without a second thought, quickly taking the bag out of your hold.

"You seemed stressed out earlier, so I figured I could bring you some food as a little pick me up. I didn't know what you liked, so I kinda just got a little of everything from the dining hall. Nothing fancy," you're rambling, but smiling so excitedly at him, Jay doesn't know what to say.

Instead, his mouth slightly drops open as he stares at you in awe, mostly because he's not used to being on the receiving end of such spontaneously generous actions––all while Jake's still excitedly looking back and forth between the two of you, as if he was expecting a marriage proposal to come next.

"Oh wow. Thank you. Really," Jay, still touched by your simple act of kindness, softly says as he places the bag on the limited amount of empty space on his desk surface––the rest of it is covered with his untouched textbooks and unfinished assignments. He wonders if you did this out of playing your role or just because you wanted to. He internally hopes it's the latter. "Seriously, you didn't have to do."

"Nah, don't worry. I wanted to," you shrug with such a genuine smile that Jay realizes he actually missed your smile.

Despite having seen you during your brief run-in this morning when you were fetching your morning coffee, Jay realizes he missed you. The two of you haven't been seeing each other recently because of your busy schedule and if Jay didn't realize it before, he's now sure he missed your company and presence around.

Weird.

"Well, you two have fun! Sunghoon needs me for something," Jake suddenly chirps from his place near the front door, halfway through with putting his shoes on already, breaking the comforting silence that fell between the two of you.

Jay frowns. "But you said you were free all da––"

"SUNGHOON IS CALLING BYE!" And before Jay can even register what's happening, Jake's out the door without another word.

"Er..sorry about him, he's...weird," Jay scratches the back of his neck as he returns to his spot on his bed, mentally setting a reminder to yell at Jake later for leaving the two of you alone. Jay doesn't know exactly why, but he's nervous at the fact that you're here in his room. It's not like you two are complete strangers––or whatever you guys were before––anymore. "Good job on your part, though. How'd you know Jake was here?"

"Oh uh, I didn't"," you let out an awkward laugh. "I just felt like doing it."

Heat rushes to Jay's cheeks and he's not sure 1) what this newfound feeling is and 2) how to respond, yet again.

Having expecting you to leave after dropping the food off, Jay's taken by surprise when you take your shoes off and come over to his bed to look at the pile of work he's spread out.

"Is this everything you have to do?" You question the stressed-out boy as you flip through the various assignments, readings, and essays he put off in the past week.

"More or less," he groans. This is no rare occurrence by any means––Jay being behind in his work––but this time, Jay realizes he may actually be in deep shit, considering he has no idea where to begin.

Right as Jay's expecting a scolding from you, he looks up to meet a look of sympathy on your face. "Well, I mean, I'm pretty much done with my day. I can try to help, I recognize some of these readings from last semester."

Jay thinks to himself that the universe has sent him an angel through the form of you.

"Really? Wow, you were't kidding when you said you'd be a good girlfriend," he sends you a surprised look.

"I'm just being nice, Jay. A concept I'm sure you're not familiar with," you remark back at him, causing his forming smile to grow into a laugh.

"I can too be nice! Need I remind you of who's paying you $500, covering all of our dates AND giving you rides to class everyday?" He remarks pointedly at you, a teasing look resting in his eyes as you're reminded of the first of many times he's come to pick you up before class:

~ ~ ~

You're late.

This never happens.

But then again, your life's been a series of unexpected occurrences lately. Such as the fact that you're currently known as Jay Park's girlfriend, for one.

You're scrambling out of bed once you take one look at your phone and realize shit, you're already late for class. Throwing on whatever articles of clothing your eyes land on first, you're already mentally groaning at the fact that you'll have to skip breakfast and run across your campus to get to said class.

Curse your professor for hosting her lecture at the furthest possible building away from your dorm. Curse the architect who decided to make your campus so large.

You're running down the steps outside of your dorm building's doors when you're abruptly stopped by a familiar sounding cough. You look up from trying to gather all your belongings together at once to meet the gaze of the source of the sound––Jay.

"Wow, you're a mess," he smirks as he gets up from the spot on his car he was leaning against to make his way over to you.

"Gee, thanks! Good morning to you too," you flash him a sarcastic smile before your default frown quickly makes it way back onto your face.

"Aren't you gonna ask me why I'm here?" He grins as he grabs hold of your backpack to sling it across his own back as the two of you walk towards his car.

"Why are you here, Jay?" you sigh, your sarcastic tone hard to miss.

"To give you a ride to class, of course!" He's beaming at you, as if he's a pre-pubescent teen who just won their first girlfriend a prize from the arcade's claw machine.

Oh. That explains the car, you figure. Deep down inside, you're relieved that you'll no longer be bursting through the lecture hall's doors as a sweaty mess––a result of having to run across campus to get to class.

Determined to not let your satisfaction completely show, you resort with a little smile directed towards Jay as he opens the passenger door for you.

The second your enter Jay's car, the strong scent of coffee hits you, and your attention is targeted at the two small cups of coffee sitting in the cupholders of the car.

"Breakfast?" Jay asks as he enters through the driver's side and reaches into the backseat to whip out a small pastry bag. A small, deliciously smelling, pastry bag.

Okay, well. You suppose you could drop the annoyed act now.

Your eyes widen with joy as you grab the bag from him and open it to reveal your favorite breakfast sandwich. He's been taking notes, you'll give him that point.

"Okay, you win. Thank you," you grace him with a soft smile before taking a bite into the glorious gift in your hands.

"Of course, I was just feeling nice," he grins at you as he starts his car. "But don't get used to it." His tone is serious, but his smile directed towards you says differently.

And the fact that he still showed up to drive you to class the next morning.

And the next.

~ ~ ~

"And need I remind you who has to date your dumb ass for the $500 in question?" Your eyes narrow at the boy who can't seem to get that damn smile off his face.

Jay sticks his tongue out at you, ending the conversation. Really Jay? What are you, five? Well, mentally––probably.

You're looking around his minuscule dorm room for a place to sit down, and Jay can't help but feel embarrassed now that you're here, in his messy single studio room that pretty much reflects how Jay treats every other responsibility of his oh so hard life: neglected.

"Uh...here, you can sit on my bed," Jay immediately offers as he moves to the side to make room for your presence––and it isn't much, considering the university only provided him a twin XL bed which is definitely not built for two grown college-aged kids.

If you told yourself a few weeks ago that you'd be shoulder to shoulder on a bed belonging to the guy you cringed at the very thought of, you wouldn't have believed yourself. You wouldn't have believed yourself if you said you were actually glad Jay let you stay instead of kicking you out after delivering the food. Huh.

Weird.

"You know, this kinda reminds me of when we were kids. I always carried us through those horrible multiplication tests in the fifth grade," you wink at him as you settle in the spot next to him, hands grabbing hold of the papers in his lap.

Jay let out a laugh, nudging your shoulder with his. "Hey! The twelve times table is hard, okay?"

You roll your eyes at him––a habit of yours he's noticed whenever the two of you are together, but more recently, he thinks it's been more out of fun than annoyance.

He wonders why.

When Jay had first brought up the idea of bringing you as his date to his father's company dinner, you had expected a fairly fancy five-star restaurant with a formal dress code––for you've become accustomed to Jay's lifestyle. Turns out, your expectations can continue to be exceeded. Because what you had expected to be a simple dinner with a few other business men and women turned out to be an entire party, hosted in a hotel whose interior resembled something close to a castle (Or what you assume a castle looks like, as you've never personally been into a castle yourself, but this hotel is close enough).

Your eyes sparkle at the extravagant columns and diamond chandeliers hanging high above you, and Jay smiles at the expression on your face; like a little girl being brought to the amusement park for the first time ever.

"Wow, this is...wow," you mutter as you drink in the scene in front of you: people dressed in formal attire likewise to yours and Jay's, mingling and drinking what you imagine to be beverages that cost more than your entire life's worth.

Jay laughs from behind you, "Yeah the company goes a little...extra when it comes to these company dinners."

You scoff as you look up at him. "Oh really, you don't say?" You look around and you're suddenly aware of the many people surrounding the two of you and the attention you've acquired ever since entering the building.

"Jay, people are staring." You shuffle closer to him, your voice lowering down to a whisper.

"Well, it's not everyday the son of the company's CEO brings his girlfriend with him, so...looks like we'll be the talk of the party tonight. Smiles on," he winks at you, and you just know he's loving the attention the two of you are receiving right now.

"Jay Park? Is that you?" You hear a warm voice call out from behind the two of you.

The two of you turn around to meet the owner of the voice, a middle-aged woman dressed in an evening gown that matches the pattern of high-end brands you've been recognizing ever since arriving.

"Mrs. Lee! It's so nice seeing you again," Jay cheerily addresses the woman as the two of you bow in greeting.

You internally giggle at the thought of your Jay being so picture-perfect in the eyes of his father's co-workers.

"This is Y/N," he continues, his hand finding its way to your back, protectively resting it there as you go to introduce yourself. "My girlfriend."

You swear you feel goosebumps rise from where he's lightly touching you, and more so when he introduces you as his girlfriend.

You tell yourself it's just your nerves. Yes, that's it, you're just nervous. I mean, you're in a room filled with people who could easily pay off all your college loans with just a snap of their fingers, who wouldn't be nervous? Right? Right.

"Y/N! It's a pleasure to finally meet you, I've heard so much about you!" Mrs. Lee excitedly exclaims as you turn to Jay with a slightly confused look plastered on your face. He mirrors your expression as he shrugs, moving to stand behind you completely, bringing his hands to rest lowly at your hips.

His hands feel like feathers on the thin fabric of your evening gown, so light, so delicate, as if he's unsure if he's crossing a line. It leaves you wanting more, wanting to naturally lean against him and his warmth. You quick to shake the thought of your head as Mrs. Lee chirps up again.

"Jay's father is always talking about how you've been keeping Jay pleasantly busy nowadays! Good thing too, about time this poor boy settle down for someone as beautiful as you," the woman rambles on as you feel a blush creep up on your cheeks at the thought of Jay talking about you to his dad. If only they knew.

"We should probably go find our seats, I think the dinner is beginning soon," Jay says from behind you, saving the two of you from having to listen to Mrs. Lee's story of how she's known Jay ever since he was five years old and seeing him grow into this mature, loving, young man is so amazing. Oh look! I have baby pictures.

Yeah, he was more so saving himself from embarrassment.

The two of you bid your goodbyes before Jay gently uses the hand on your back to maneuver you through the crowd of socializing business moguls.

"She's not wrong, you know," you feel Jay dip his head so he's speaking near your ear, his warm breath tickling your earlobe, as the two of you make your way through the large foyer room.

"Hm?" You hum in question, turning your head up just enough to be able to make eye contact with him as he responds to your look of confusion.

"You look beautiful tonight," he says, eye contact not breaking once. You freeze in your steps.

You stare back at him in silence. Oh.

Your mind is panicking as it flips through your mental book of responses, unsure of what to say back. But because your mind is cloudy from staring at a put-together Jay in a dark navy suit to match your dress (mixed with the nervous butterflies in your stomach––have they always been there?), the only sound that's able to leave your lips is the small stutter of a:

"Huh?"

Wow Y/N, you had one job. A simple "thank you" could've sufficed! And you went with "Huh"?

You felt like a fifth grader who just learned from a friend of a friend of a friend that their crush likes them back.

"U-um. Mrs. Lee. What she said about you. You look good, really," somehow your nervousness made its way over to Jay now––his eyes flickering from yours to anywhere, anything, else in the room––the awkward tension growing tenfold each second.

Goddamnit Y/N, this is just Jay you're talking to, get a grip.

You're knocked back into reality when he slightly nudges your back to continue making your way to the main ball room, where the dinner is being held.

"Is that a compliment from the Jay Park?" Your smirk can't be seen by Jay, since he's still trailing behind you, but he can definitely hear it through your tone.

"Don't make me take it back," he chuckles, his words felt against your neck, leaving behind a tingly sensation you're not sure why you're feeling. You're glad he's behind you, so he isn't able to see the blush creeping onto your face for the second time tonight.

Jay gives a small nod to the people behind the check-in desk stationed at the entrance as the two of you waltz right into a large ball room lined with countless circular dining tables. So much for a small business dinner.

As the two of you approach one of the tables placed at the front of the room, you notice a familiar figure seated next to the seats reserved for you and Jay.

"Y/N!" Jake exclaims as he gets up from his seat to greet the both of you. "I'm so glad you made it, Jay was so excited to bring you tonight. Deadass would not stop talking about it."

Jay lets out a noise that falls somewhere between a cough and a goose being strangled, his widened eyes warning his talkative friend to just shut up. He's silently cursing the company for always seating his and Jake's family at the same table for these events.

"Aw, is that so? He's lucky he's cute or else I wouldn't have agreed," you grin, winking at your assumed boyfriend sitting next to you.

"Hey, YOU were the one excited to come! I recall a certain someone's face lighting up when I suggested we go shopping for tonight," Jay immediately retorts.

"Only because you were buying," you giggle, causing Jake to laugh as well.

"Damn, Jay. Tough," Jake jokingly adds as you laugh alongside him. The scowl sitting on Jay's face expresses the opposite of what he's feeling right now: warmth filling him up from the sound of your laughter and the image of you getting along so well with his best friend.

"I'm gonna get us some drinks, you two have fun making fun of me," Jay narrows his eyes at the two of you as he gets up from his seat. You bid him off with a smile before turning back to Jake.

"No but really though, this boy would not stop talking about you coming tonight. Then again, he doesn't really ever stop talking about you," Jake nonchalantly says, not knowing how much he was exposing his friend to you right now.

You raise an eyebrow up in response, "Oh really?"

"Seriously! I don't know what you did to him, Y/N, but this Jay I've been seeing recently is new. He complains a lot less about life nowadays, especially on the days he sees you," he leans back in his chair as his comment brings a smile to your face. Little does he know.

You stretch your neck up to find the boy in question and spot him right as he's returning to your shared table, two drinks in hand. You lock eyes with him from across the room and without a second thought, you're giving him a genuine smile that he's immediately returning.

Your heart beats faster at the view.

You wonder why.

It's 3:07AM when you hear the first ding.

You're not 100% sure as of why you're awake at this hour on a Tuesday night––perhaps a combination of your restless thoughts and feelings not letting you sleep plus the typical stress that comes hand-in-hand with the life of a college student.

It's 3:09AM when you hear the second ding, and you brush it off, assuming it was just Heeseung spamming you with memes again––something he does often when he also can't sleep (you found this out the hard way).

It's still 3:09AM when you hear the third ding, and at 3:10AM , you finally reach over and decide to acknowledge the being who's bothering you at this godforsaken hour.

Jay [3:07AM]: Y/N

Jay [3:09AM]: hi

Jay [3:09AM]: r u awake rn

Y/N [3:10AM]: unfortunately so

Y/N [3:11AM]: why are you up

Jay [3:11AM]: come outside

Y/N [3:13AM: jay it's 3am

Jay [3:13AM]: ye and? don't tell me ur a college student with a curfew

Jay [3:14AM]: plus im alrdy waiting for u outside so u have no choice

Jay [3:15AM]: :)

You groan at your bright phone screen currently illuminating your dark dorm room.

You ponder the consequences you may have to suffer tomorrow if you stay up any later than you already have. But considering the fact that you're probably just going to stay awake lying in bed for god knows how long anyways, why not?

(And you would like to point out that this decision has nothing to do with the fact that you haven't seen Jay in a few days and that maybe a tiny, tiny, tiny, part of you may have missed his presence. Nothing.)

And since that logic is obviously valid (you really gotta work on justifying your life choices), you're suddenly grabbing a hoodie from your closet and hoping it'll be enough to keep you, who's merely in an old band t-shirt from high-school and pajama shorts, warm.

The breeze hits your skin the second you open the doors to your dorm's building, and you're met with the view of Jay's sleek, black BMW that probably costs more than your tuition. He waves at you from the driver's seat, motioning for you to get in.

"To what do I owe you the pleasure at this hour," you deadpan at him with a stone-cold voice as you enter through the passenger's side door, hoping your tone was enough to hide the fact that you're giddy at the fact he invited you out at 3AM in the morning. Like a high-school girl sneaking out of her house to meet up with her bad-boy boyfriend that her parents dislike.

The second you enter his car, you're instantly comforted by the warm air blasting through his vents and his playlist softly playing in the background. Jay's pajama pants and messy hair give you more than enough information to know that he probably just rolled out of his own bed as well. You don't know why, but your view: Jay in his oversized hoodie with his unkept hair in front of your dorm building at 3AM on a Tuesday night, gives you comfort in weird ways you can't explain even if you tried.

But it's obviously just your cloudy, 3AM mind not thinking straight. Obviously.

"When I can't sleep, I go on drives around campus. It helps clear my mind," he says, looking over at you to give you a quick smile before starting his car. "Plus, SnapMap said you were still awake, so...figured you'd wanna join."

"Oh so what, you're my stalker now? You're not driving to the woods to kill me now, are you?" You tease, an eyebrow brought up. Jay lets out a laugh from beside you as he begins to drive further into your campus.

"Guess you'll just have to wait and see," he throws you a wink before reverting his gaze back to the road, mindlessly driving to wherever the road decides to take him.

A comfortable silence falls in between the two of you as Jay continues to drive endless routes around your campus. You look over to the boy driving next to you and take in his features––you don't know what changed, but you no longer feel the same anger or annoyance bubbling within you when you're around him. You're not sure when this changed, but you figure it's just the effect of desensitization. After all, you've been spending so much time with him, you're bound to get used to it. Right?

"Why were you up?" Jay finally asks after a few minutes of just the two of you silently basking in each other's presences.

"Ah, you know. The usual. Endless thoughts running through my mind, stress from school, nothing new," you sign, giving him a soft smile followed with a shrug.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

You answer him with silence as you search your head for the answer.

"I don't know. This is kinda weird, isn't it?" You don't know why you get a sudden surge of confidence, but before you can stop yourself, you find yourself rambling on. "If you had told me a month ago that I'd be here driving around with you when it's nearly 4AM, I would've laughed in your face."

Jay doesn't know whether to laugh or scoff. "Is the idea of hanging out with me that unappealing to you?"

You give him a serious look back. "I mean, up until a month ago when you needed me for whatever this game is, you literally pretended I didn't exist."

Oh. Awkward.

You freeze at your own words, mentally screaming at yourself for letting the words leave your mouth. Why, why, why.

"Y/N..." Jay says after clearing his throat after a few seconds of silence.

"No it's fine, it was a joke," you awkwardly cough and direct your attention to anything else around you right now. The view of your campus' buildings zooming by. The clicking of Jay's blinker when he switches lanes. The quiet roaring of his car's engine. The nervous tapping of his fingers against the steering wheel.

The rest of the ride is excruciatingly silent as he exits the main road and into an empty parking lot of some administration building made out of glass that has too many floors for you to count.

You don't know why you feel your heart beating in your throat as Jay puts the car into park––why you feel uneasy. You slightly turn towards him in your seat, hoping to pick up any sign of well...anything from him.

You don't know why you feel a twinge of guilt––it's not like what you said was necessarily wrong. If you were being honest, you were slightly bothered by how the two of you seemed to silently agree not to mention your past all this time. You were always one to seek answers, to seek closure. You couldn't help but bring it up––Jay was your best friend during those years. For him to just wake up one day and pretend you were nothing to him hurt you, and you couldn't help but still wonder what in the world you did to initiate his actions.

"I'm sor–" You're interrupted with his timid voice, as if he was almost afraid to speak.

"I'm not good with people." He's nibbling on his bottom lip, fingers nervously picking at a spot on the steering wheel.

You're opening and closing your mouth, unsure how to respond. You're 100% positive you look like a fish right now. Good for you.

"I don't know why. Jake calls it commitment issues but in order to have commitment, people have to stay in my life. And people just...don't. They're all bound to leave at some point. So what's the point of putting in effort into relationships if they're just going to leave you at the end?"

You're stunned by his sudden confession, not having been prepared for such a heavy topic to arise between the two of you. Up until tonight, your interactions had always been light-hearted and easy––you guys got along well. You didn't know this is how he felt all along.

But you knew where he was coming from.

You knew what Jay had gone through as a child––his mother having left him and his dad when he was young. You remember when your parents had told you the news at the young age of 13, and you remember the pain and sorrow you felt for your then friend. All you wanted to do was go to him and comfort him, but he had already cut you out from his life by then.

"Or maybe I'm the problem. My dad barely acknowledges my existence because he thinks giving me an allowance is all the parenting I need, my friends probably only stick around because they feel bad for me, you wouldn't even be here if it weren't for the bet, and, fuck, I'm literally known as the campus' fuckboy," Jay continues, falling deeper and deeper into the hole he dug himself.

He hates this, he hates opening up and feeling vulnerable, so he doesn't know why he's doing it now. He doesn't know why he feels comfortable voicing out his fears and worries when he's around you. But he does know it's a new feeling––one he doesn't know how to deal with.

"Jay," you lace your voice with as much comfort as you can provide. None of this is his fault, you want to tell him. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything," he says with a hint of bitterness and you can't tell if it's directed towards you or the topic at hand.

You're completely turned in your seat now to face him––despite the fact that he refuses to meet your gaze, afraid that looking at you is gonna bring out the most vulnerable in him. "You can talk to me. Talking about it makes it a lot easier. I'll always be here for you, as a friend."

Jay doesn't know what it is or why, but something in him snaps at the sound of a certain word falling out of your lips. Friend. Friend.

Friends don't make his heart beat nervously whenever he's around them. Friends don't keep him up at 3AM in the morning, pondering about his feelings for them. Friends don't provide him with this new, warm comfort he's become accustomed to whenever he's around you.

Deep down, Jay knows you didn't mean to add fuel to the fire. But because he's strong-headed, stubborn, and hates how vulnerable he feels next to you, he unleashes his emotions without thinking about the destruction coming along.

"It's none of your business, Y/N. Forget I said anything. You're just a toy for this stupid game and when it's all over we can go back to our own lives and forget this ever happened."

His sudden words cut deep, but they hurt him more than you. The second the words tumble out of his mouth, he's hit with the feeling of instant regret washing over him, and the lump forming in his throat restricts him from finding the right words to take them back.

The silence that falls between the two of you this time is different. It's a cold silence. A loud silence.

Jay feels his walls coming back up around him––the ones you managed to get through––and all he wants to do is apologize but he's terrified. Terrified of seeing your reaction, terrified of losing you again. For the second time.

You tell yourself he doesn't mean it. You tell yourself that he's just enduring more pain that one should ever receive.

But you also tell yourself that this wouldn't be the first time Jay leaves you in the dust.

You tell yourself that you're foolish for ever believing a friendship, or more, could come out of this act at the end. That you're so naive for feeling those stupid, stupid butterflies you've started to notice in your stomach whenever you see, or even think of, him.

"Okay," you begin with a firm tone. You're hurt, but you refuse to show it. You won't let him hurt you for a second time. Not again.

"Just...find me when you need me. As your fake girlfriend or just...me. I'm still here for you," is the last thing you say before un-clicking your seatbelt and leaving his car, beginning your walk back to your dorm hall.

Jay is unsure about many things in life. He's unsure about what he wants to do in the future, he's unsure of where he's going to settle in life, heck, he's unsure about what to have for lunch tomorrow. But he's sure about one thing.

That he's wearing his heart on his sleeve right now, and it's all because of you.

That you've become this new lifeline and he has to choose between holding onto you or drowning.

When Jay wakes up the next morning, his first gut instinct is to get ready to pick you up for class. But today's different. Jay doesn't know where the two of you stand now, especially after last night.

Jay doesn't know how to deal with this combination of unknown emotions he's been feeling lately. They didn't come out of no where, by any means, he realizes. They've been slowly growing over the past month of seeing you so often––like a plant he's been watering overtime, not expecting it to bloom into a flower so suddenly––but he figured it was nothing more than just enjoying the company of a friend.

Until he realizes that the term friend just doesn't suite you anymore––not to him, at least. And that scares him. It scares him that you've made him genuinely smile more in this past month than he ever has in his 19 years of living. It scares him that when he's around you he can't comprehend his own thoughts, his feelings. It scares him that you make him vulnerable, that you've changed him. That you've managed to make the walls that he's spent so long building and polishing to crumble with a simple tap of your finger.

In a perfect world, Jay would have already told you all this––he would be unafraid of how you would react, unafraid of your rejection, unafraid of losing this growing relationship with you. But alas, we don't live in a perfect world. And so when Jay drives to class that day, he drives right past your dorm building.

"Where's Y/N?" is the first thing Jake questions when he enters Jay's car that morning, confused by your absence, having been used to you being in the front seat every morning when Jay goes to give Jake rides to class as well.

"I don't know," Jay mutters, unemotional eyes focused on the road in front of him, not interested in continuing a conversation that involves thinking about you.

Jake hesitates as curiosity gets the best of him. "Did you guys get into a fight or something?"

Jay's hands tighten around the steering wheel of his car. "Or something. Let's just leave it at that."

There are a few beats of silence before Jake speaks up again.

"Well, I guess this works out because I wanted to talk to you about something."

Jay continues to stare straight ahead of him, focusing on just trying to get by without mentally beating himself up at the simple thought of you.

The simple thought of you and your smile. Your witty remarks. Your stupid eye rolls. Your laughter. Your kindness. So much for not thinking about you.

"I'm calling it off," Jake's words catch Jay off guard.

"Huh? Calling what off?"

"The bet. I'm calling it off. I don't care about the textbook fees I'll have to pay next semester. Look, fight or not, you and Y/N are good for each other, everyone can see it. And I really don't want this to end up being one of those messed up teen TV shows where the girlfriend finds out the entire relationship was based off of a stupid game and then they break up and the boyfriend falls into eternal sadness and regret. And I don't wanna see you sad, dude. So yeah! Congrats," although he's admitting defeat, Jake's beaming widely, just content with the fact that his best friend has finally found happiness through the form of you. "You win."

But Jay feels like the opposite of a winner. Because even though his only intention coming into this was simply winning the bet, his life isn't as simple as it was a month ago. Because he discovered something much more valuable than some stupid textbook fees or five hundred dollars or getting his physics homework done for an entire semester.

Something he's scared he's already lost.

You.

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

The next time you see Jay is at the same time and place as when he first ever appeared to pick you up––at 12:17PM on a Friday afternoon, as you're exiting the doors of the lecture building home to your awfully long Capitalism in World History class. This time, however it's different.

Because this time, it's one month later, and Jay Park is no longer a forgotten side character in the story of your life. This time, you're frustrated because it's been three days since you've last heard from Jay. And because it's been three days since you've last heard from him, you can't focus on anything else, and because you can't focus on anything else, you're falling behind on every other aspect in your life. Jay's somehow managed to become the center of your life without even having to be present.

Well, up until now. Up until you go down the steps of your lecture hall's entrance and look up to be met with a figure leaning on a car you're far too familiar with. You freeze in your steps as you make eye contact with the boy you've been thinking about non-stop for the past month three days.

Your mind tells you to walk away, to just follow your flight instinct instead of fight, to just go back to your normal life. But here's the thing. Ever since Jay's made his way back to your life, it's been far from normal.

And if you're being honest, you had no interest in going back to your normal life. Normal's overrated anyways. You find your legs bringing yourself over to him, your heart leading the way.

"Hi," you simply say, planting yourself right in front of him.

"Hi."

"What are you doing here?" You already know the answer, but you want to hear him say it.

"Waiting for you," Jay doesn't hesitate in answering you. This time will be different, he tells himself.

"I can walk myself home, thanks," you state, but your actions tell differently, as you make no sign of moving from your spot in front of him.

Jay's mind contemplates telling you everything. About how he regrets that friendship-breaking decision he made that one fateful day in the eighth grade, about his true feelings, about how he first suspected these feelings when he was 11 years old and saw you in your fancy get-up for the sixth grade dance but put it off as a little crush, and about how the same feelings grew into something so, so much more in the present. But seeing that putting all these thoughts into words would involve more than one functioning brain cell (which is all he's convinced he has in the moment, for the view of you staring up at him, looking like that, has his brain short-circuiting), he settles with:

"He called it off. It's over. The bet."

"Oh."

Silence.

Okay, Jay. This is your chance. Say it.

"Is that it?" You lift an eyebrow, awaiting for more explanation. When it doesn't come, you slightly nod and start backing away. "I'll see you around then."

Is that it? Do the two of you just go back to your respective lives now? How can Jay do that, when he doesn't even recall what his life was like before you entered it––and especially when he has absolutely no interest in going back to that life?

Fuck it.

"Y/N!" He stands up straight, a newfound confidence taking over. This time will be different, he tells himself. Because now, he knows what he wants. For sure.

You turn towards him, to see him already making his way towards you, stopping in his steps when he finds himself close enough to you that he can't concentrate anymore.

"I'm sorry for ditching you in the eighth grade. I'm sorry for ignoring you since then. I'm sorry for dragging you into this stupid mess and for pushing you away and I'm sorry for calling you a toy. Because it's far from truth. I like you. A lot. And––and I'm scared. I'm scared of what this means for us, because I just keep messing things up and all I know is that I don't wanna wake up tomorrow and realize you're not in my life anymore and––"

"Woah, woah, Jay. Slow down," you look up at him, the corners of your lips threatening to curve up into a smile. "You're an idiot, you know."

Jay's never really confessed his feelings to anyone before, per say, so he doesn't really know what to expect. But he's watched enough Netflix rom-coms in this lifetime (which is still not that many) to know that hearing the words "you're an idiot" isn't what you're supposed to hear after pouring your heart and soul out. Surely not, right?

"I––I'm not sure how to respond to that," he quietly says, searching your eyes for a sign, for anything. You giggle at his sudden shyness as you grab both his arms and look at him right in the eyes.

"It's okay. I get it, if anything, I'm also scared. But you somehow got me wrapped around your stupid finger, and I hate it," you smirk at him, your hands slowly making their way up his arms to circle around his neck.

Jay's hands naturally fall at your waist as he lets out a breathe he didn't even know he was holding as he returns your smirk. "Well, I could say the same about you. And I also hate it, for your information."

"Hmm, is that so? I guess it cancels out then, right?" You smile at him as he's pulling you in so close, your head turns cloudy.

Jay grins at you, his eyes holding so much joy and endearment as they quickly flicker down to your lips before returning to your own eyes. "I guess this only means one thing then."

"Mm, and what's that?"

And before Jay can answer––and because your life's been anything but normal lately––you make the first move this time, moving your head up to close the small gap between the two of you.

His arms instinctively tighten around you as you capture his lips with your very own, and Jay swears he's about to lift off into space right now. He's on cloud nine, and he makes no plans to touch the ground ever again.

The kiss quickly becomes fervent, all the pent-up tension that the two of you had for one another finally finding its way out, all the words that were previously left unsaid finally expressing themselves. You don't even care if you're being judged by the conservative faculty members of your school right now, or by the looks of fellow students walking past the two of you.

You try your best to keep yourself from smiling as he continues to press his lips against yours, his hand moving to hold your chin, guiding your mouth with his.

Before you find yourself getting carried away, you step back to take a breath, resting your forehead against his chest as his hands rest against your back. He smiles at the sound of you giggling against him.

Jay takes a step back to take one look at you and realizes, in this moment, that change can be good. And he's willing to undergo this change. As long as it's with you.

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

The next morning, you bounce down the steps of your dorm building's entrance to meet the wide, bright smile of your ex-childhood-bestfriend-turned-fake-boyfriend-turned-real-boyfriend waiting for you in front of his car, small pastry bag in hand. You smile back at him.

Jay drives you to class that day.

And everyday after that.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ :

✰ let me know what you think! if u made it til the end, mwah :') <3

[inbarfink]

So I want to take a moment to talk about one of my favorite Subtle Bits of Good Game Design in Undertale.

So the Player Character of Undertale has one singular expression, and that is “-_-”. 

It can be comedic exasperation or grim determination or calm serenity or whatever. It’s designed to be as neutral as possible so that players can easily make themselves project their own emotions on the character. but that neutrality can only go so far, there’s plenty of points in Undertale where “-_-” is not the reaction most players would have to the situation. And while this can be funny in comedic scenes....

It might be a bit of a mood killer in more dramatic scenes. And for that, Undertale has a solution.

Undertale’s most dramatic scenes are almost always designed in such a way that the player character’s actual face is totally obscured and so the Player can imagine them having whatever expression that they have right now. Usually by making the character turn their back to the screen.

But also sometimes by using lighting effects to hide their expression:

Most obviously every single Boss Battle Prelude in Undertale involves the Player Character’s face being obscured from the Player:

(you can argue this is also because of the design of the battle interface - you always see your enemy in front view, so it might just be a first-person view of what the character sees buuuuuuut Papyrus and Sans face you in a side-view and the game still hides the character’s face via weather effects\lighting.)

So this is all nice and Very Well Designed but the thing is........ Undertale’s ‘featureless protagonist’ is a bit of a misdirection. And especially in the Pacifist Route, the game starts taking steps to establish that this character, Frisk, is separate from the Player. Partly to make it unambiguously clear that RESETing a True Pacifist Ending is inexcusable in-universe. You can’t go “oh but if I stop playing the game won’t my friends miss me? Because they’re not actually your friends, they’re Frisk’s friends.

(Also I usually use Frisk to refer the the player character of Undertale in a general sense because that’s easier, but the game only confirms their name is Frisk in the Pacifist Route. And in fact, to this day even the most spoiler-heavy pieces of Official Undertale Merch do not actually use the name “Frisk” and I often wonder what’s up with that but that probably deserve it’s own post) 

And because the True Pacifist Route set out to separate us from Frisk, you see that little bit of Face-Hiding-Immersion being broken more and more often. For example, the tapes in the True Lab can be safely called a Dramatic Moment that might require an Expression-Hide. And with Frisk looking at the TV and away from the Player that should be easy - but instead every time a tape stops, Frisk automatically turns around at the direction of the Player.

And then that sequence ends with another big emotional scene with Alphys, and it’s designed in such a way that Frisk, again, is looking straight-on rather than having their back turned to us.

The scene with Asriel STARTS with Frisk’s face being hidden...

But ends with Frisk’s face being seen

Same if you go and talk to Asriel and in the Ruins. 

And this connects in an interesting way with Deltarune, because in that game the relationship between a player character and a player is a much more central theme. Where Undertale has an element of misdirection about how much we’re supposed to project unto both Frisk and Chara, Deltarune pretty quickly gets to the point of making it clear that we are not really playing as Kris and more playing as an otherworldly entity that is possessing Kris. And so the game often actively avoids these face-hiding-immersion techniques that were so common in Undertale. I mean, half of Kris’ face is always hidden to us anyways because they won’t cut their damn bangs but you know what I mean.

Like obvious sometimes Kris’ face is hidden by Dramatic Lighting or the scene set-up, it’ll be hard to avoid this trope completely - but compared to Undertale it is really notable how some of the most dramatically important scenes in the game, which would theoretically benefit from hiding Kris’ face so that we could ‘project’ on them... just don’t do that.

In fact, a lot of significant cutscenes end with Kris’ pose being reset to looking straight-on once it’s over, even if they had their backs to the Player before. Similar to what happens to Frisk in the True Lab.

And while Undertale boss battles always start with Frisk’s face being hidden, and usually because they are facing away from the camera. Important Boss Battles in Deltarune almost always have Kris and friends looking to the side, with Kris’ expression being clearly visable.

Again, this shift is partly because of the change in the battle interface. This set-up is common because it can seamlessly transition to the sideways battle-screen - but it ALSO means we always have a view of Kris’ expression and body language in the most dramatic of situations and I wonder if that might have been a factor in deciding how the battle system was gonna look (or the other way around, Toby designed the battle system and than realized that makes it harder to project on the protagonist so he decided to lean on it and make it a Thing).

I’m still not sure if Kris is just... a very reserved person who doesn’t show their emotions as obviously as the other characters, or if being possessed is making them strangely unresponsive, or if they are as emotional as all the other characters but WE can’t see it but... the fact that we can even notice that is a very deliberate game design choice.

And that’s pretty cool.