#We used to have seals! We've been robbed!!

[bywandandsword]

Y'all I recently learned that the Gulf of Mexico used to have a native seal, but they went extinct in the the 1960s, partially due to hunting and over hunting their food sources. They were called Caribbean Monk seals and are closely related to the Hawaiian Monk seal and the Mediterranean Monk seal, both of which are endangered

(Pictured: a Hawaiian monk seal)

[tobiasdrake]

Well, we've met the kids. Now we need to figure out where we go from here. Let's plot some mischief.

"Magic seal" here defined as "Big glob of cancerous Dweller flesh". Can we just hit it really hard with moon and sun beams? I have it on good authority that our magic is stronger than this stuff.

...so the answer is yes. Yes, we can just hit it really hard with moon lasers. Don't even need Zale's help to take out this bottom-feeding scrub of a flesh blob.

Though I'm sure the crystal helped. A little.

Gonna go out on a limb and say it concentrates my moon powers into a solid laser of Fuck That Noise?

Concentrates my moon powers into a solid laser of Fuck That Noise.

Are you kids for hire? I mean, I know you work for Aephorul but fuck that guy. I would love to help with your research. If we'd known you existed, your research could potentially have provided another option for solving the problem of Torment.

Even though we've already taken care of that issue, who knows what other secret Unsolveable Dwellers might be lurking out there. Or in other worlds. If your shit can provide new avenues for Resh'an's efforts then that could be game-changing.

Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes

What did I say? What did I fucking say back at the Dweller of Torment? It's almost like uniformity is bad and diversity is good or something.

The biggest weakness of the Solstice Warriors is that we're too insular. There are so many other things out in the world that can benefit us.

I'll be back before you know it.

Alright, team. This is just like Roro's lab.

Plan A: Burglary

Plan B: Civil Negotiation

Plan C: Hostile Negotiation

Plan D: Armed Robbery

We're coming back with that master key. The Watchmaker's level of involvement, willing or otherwise, is going to be up to her.

XD Trying to imitate our time manipulation. These kids are adorable. I want to hire them. The logistics of that would be difficult given their confinement here but I want to.

You know, given that Aephorul himself was responsible for the brickwork, I'm surprised at how much of a shitshow it is. I criticized him before for the fact that he and the Watchmaker didn't understand how each other's stuff works and just did their own thing, but I expected the brickwork to be, at least, good.

That is just a pile of magic bricks. No self-respecting architect worth his salt would leave a pile of enchanted bricks lying around like this and call the structure complete. Have some professional dignity, Fleshmancer.

...okay, she's right there. But I don't think she's noticed us ye--

Holy shit, did you make Wheels!? Is that where I know the name Watchmaker from!? Ma'am, I am a HUGE fan of your game and I--

...am....

...in the middle of robbing you. >.< Shit, Plan A is out.

So. Is that "I will not give you the key because that would be involving myself" taking no part, or "I will not stop you from taking the key because that would be involving myself" taking no part? Centrism can be ambiguous sometimes.

I would remind you that trying to withhold the key from us will involve you in conflict right here in this room, but I think we're still at Plan B so I should hang onto my threats for later.

Okay, it's the latter. No threats necessary. Plan B was a rousing success.

Thank you for the pleasant conversation and nothing else. It has been a pleasure retrieving what we needed from this room while not doing business of any kind with you.

...this might have been too fast for Cael. I hope you'll forgive me if I take a little time to completely fangirl out about your game oh my god I'm such a huge fan.

Can we play a round or two? Please please please please PLEEEEEEASE

._. Okay that's fair.

I would promise to come back later but I'm prophesized to die in like half an hour so I guess this will just have to be a bucket list item never fulfilled.

Yep. Walked in and picked it up off the floor. Piece of cake.

What you got for me? On the scale of "Good" to "Super Good", how loud is this going to make me scream?

Can I see it? I want to see it. I want to know what it does. Tell me tell me teeeell meeeeee.

I want to see it. I wanna seeeeeeee it.

Fine. We'll do this your way, and I can just be surprised. I'm prophesized to die in half an hour so anything other than that is automatically a surprise by default anyway.

[pastelwitchling]

Kingdom of Ash (Throne of Glass #8) by Sarah J. Maas

⭐⭐⭐⭐.5

I haven't posted my book thoughts in a while, but I just finished what I would classify as a truly epic series, Throne of Glass, and I wanted to share my thoughts, especially to see what everyone else thought as well. Also, goodreads calls it book #7, but I'm counting The Assassin's Blade as officially part of the series because I loved that book and it's the one that got me started on this journey, and I just think it adds a lot of nuance to the rest of the series that is very much needed.

So, without further ado, here are my thoughts on the eighth and final book of the Throne of Glass series.

Sooo many spoilers ahead:

Wow. So here we are, at the end. It feels a little surreal, to be honest, finally being done with this series which I started a few months ago on nothing more than a whim. What started as an attempt to satisfy my curiosity ended up as an indescribable experience. Every book in this series (Tower of Disappointment excluded, of course) has taken over my life in a way whenever I've picked them up, and I have been left constantly in awe and in love.

The Assassin's Blade, Throne of Glass, and Crown of Midnight were all 4.5 stars, while Heir of Fire, Queen of Shadows, and Empire of Storms were 5 stars. Needless to say, I had hoped that we would end this series on another 5-star read, and while 4.5 stars is very high, I will admit that there were some things about this sequel that left me... kind of wanting:

My biggest disappointment was Aelin losing her powers. I don't think I would've minded if she'd lost so much of it, had it been AFTER the big battle. As it stands, it felt like we were robbed of that epic final duel because instead of getting to see Aelin come to save her kingdom, it was kind of left to others to really do the heavy-lifting, which is not something I want to see in a story where the Queen is the most powerful character. I know she orchestrated the whole thing, but in this, the final battle for Terrasen, I would've liked to see HER show off her power, HER save the day. I loved getting to see everyone working together, that was awesome, but the fact that the giant magical moment wasn't Aelin's in the end? I couldn't help but be a little disappointed, I'm not going to lie.

Speaking of which, that bargain? I feel like the WHOLE point behind it was to validate Yrene's existence. No, we didn't just stretch ToD into a full novel for no reason, Yrene is totally useful and important, we swear. And the thing is, I really disliked ToD, so I realize how subjective this is, but I thought that Yrene had NO personality whatsoever, I thought her healing powers were so boring to read because they didn't feel substantial, her power just felt like abstract light vs abstract dark, and it was so boring. So now when we get to the end, and the big bad is defeated by her and her boring powers? Instead of getting to see Aelin come head-to-head with this guy? I mean... what a letdown 😅

How do I know the bargain was just to give Yrene purpose? Elena doesn't even get saved. That great scene of Dorian and Aelin risking everything together wasted, and for what? So Aelin could make a totally out-of-character deal, risking the safety of her people and friends and allies so that this one woman who'd already lived for thousands of years and gotten them into this mess in the first place can... keep living in the Afterworld? Even if it didn't work, why not just have the gods refuse and take Erawan anyway? Or why did the supposedly kind and caring gods just let this one b*tch amongst them kill Elena? As a reader, it felt sooo unsatisfying to see such an emotional moment play out between Aelin, Dorian, and Dorian's father, only to then amount it to nothing but Aelin getting robbed of her powers, Elena getting killed anyway, and Erawan coming out unscathed. I mean, the whole point was to seal the gates and trap Erawan inside, no?? So then this whole quest we've been on amounts to nothing! It'd be like Harry Potter getting all the Horcruxes, but oh no, turns out Voldemort had a backup. Like, the whole series was about getting these damn Wyrdkeys, and in the end, it amounts to nothing! Why?? So we can prove Yrene is useful. Still doesn't have a character, but at least she can do something ??

Speaking of Harry Potter, I couldn't help but compare this book to the Deathly Hallows. The pacing in that was great, one long quest leading to one epic battle, a few mini-epic battles in between. Or the final Percy Jackson book? With one long war and breaks in between. The pacing here? There were waaaaaaay too many pointless detours. Why'd we have to stop at Anielle? The khagan's forces were headed to Terrasen from the get-go, so we could've foregone that entire battle, soooo many chapters' worth, and just kept going to Terrasen, have Chaol meet Aelin on the way there! I get that it's supposed to be hard to read Terrasen's soldiers suffering, but how is it then pleasant for the reader to know that they're barely holding down the fort over there, and then switch back to these endless stops with the other characters that never feel necessary? During every interaction, I'm just thinking, "WHY HAVE WE STOPPED?? KEEP GOING TO TERRASEN!" Why not have Aelin arrive at Terrasen halfway through, have Dorian meet them there, and they could try to lock the gates then? For a series that has been leading to Terrasen this entire time, why is it that we don't get to see Aelin actually there except in the last 50 pages?

I realize that it sounds like I hated this book, or I was severely disappointed by it, but I promise I wasn't.

Dorian? That man. That man made this book. I can't believe what an epic arc Dorian has had. I've loved him dearly since Throne of Glass, and to see the way he's grown and changed into a true king worthy of following, I just... I'm so proud. My little Dorian-lover heart is so happy 🥹

Aelin. This is the first time in my reading life that I have used the phrase, "What a babe," for a female character. I would give my life for this queen, she is... I have no words for my love for Celaena/Aelin. She has been the heart of this series since book 1, and I have been honored to know and follow her.

I loved the cadre, I loved the Lorcan and Elide moments (Lord Lorcan Lochan was hilarious), I loved the Chaol and Aelin reunion, I loved every single Aelin and Dorian moment (their friendship has been buried in my heart's core since Queen of Shadows, by the gods), and the goodbye between the three of them at the end? Chaol's insistence and determination that they would see each other again because he couldn't imagine their friendship now without her? Nobody talk to me.

I loved the romance between Rowan and Aelin (as always, those two are my favorites). I loved how Rowan truly was Aelin's match in every way.

The "You do not yield" scene? That is my life's motto from now on. Aelin, Your Majesty, I will serve you to my dying breath.

I loved sooo many moments in this book, and these were just a few noteworthy ones that I can remember off the top of my head. It's just that before the halfway point, I'd been adamant on buying the whole series (Tower of Definitely No excluded, always always always), rereading it, annotating it, engaging with it. Aelin Galathynius/Celaena Sardothien has become one of my favorite fictional characters of all time. And now, while the latter remains firmly true, I just feel like I can't get over the fact that the quest of the entire series has been reduced to nothing because of one scene, and all to give Yrene something to do. One scene, and the journey laid out before Aelin since Throne of Glass officially means nothing. I'm trying to take comfort in the fact that she did seal the worlds (and sidenote, but even as someone who doesn't like the ACOTAR series, that one Rhysand cameo was seriously epic), it's not like absolutely nothing was accomplished, but as a reader, it's very hard to look at that week's-worth of deaths, at Gavriel's death, and not feel like it could've been avoided had not one nonsensical bargain been proposed. I don't blame Aelin for it, I hasten to add, but it's just that... the writing in the rest of this series has not been great, but I never cared because it didn't interfere with the storytelling, which is what matters most to me. This is the one moment in this series where it feels like the bad writing has truly affected the story itself, and it's a damn shame that, for the first time in this series, that had to happen in the finale, of all places.

[thelittlesttimelord]

The Littlest Timelord: The New Doctor Chapter 16

TITLE: The Littlest Timelord: The New Doctor Chapter 16 PAIRING: No Pairing RATING: T CHAPTER: 16/? SUMMARY: With the Doctor newly regenerated, he and Elise must now navigate their new relationship. The Doctor is an old man and Elise is a headstrong young woman. She is no longer the scared little girl the Doctor saved all those years ago. Will Clara be able to keep them from killing each other?

They exited the duct and came to a corridor with a round vault door.

“Right, vault. That's clear. What's not clear is what we do now,” the Doctor said.

“Hey. You okay?” Clara asked.

“No, I'm an amnesiac robbing a bank. Why would I be okay?”

“Because Saibra...”

“What? Saibra is dead, we are alive. Prioritize if you want to stay that way.”

“Oh, is that why you call yourself the Doctor?” Psi asked, “The professional detachment.”

“Listen. When we're done here, by all means, you go and find yourself a shoulder to cry on. You'll probably need that. Till then, what you need is me.” The Doctor walked towards the vault.

“Underneath it all, he isn't really like that,” Clara told Psi.

“It's very obvious that you've been with him for a while.”

“Why?”

“Because you are really good at the excuses.”

The Doctor found a case in an alcove by the vault door. “Another gift from the Architect. Shall we unwrap it?”

Psi plugged himself into the case and downloaded the information. He walked over to the computer alcove and started pressing buttons. “Right, the system looks like it's time-delayed. There are twenty four lock codes I need to break.”

Growling came from the end of the corridor.

“Doctor? It's coming. We're trapped,” Clara said.

“Psi, how long?” the Doctor asked.

“As long as it takes,” Psi told him.

“It's locked on to one of our thought trails. We have to split up, minimize the brain signals.”

“What happened to your professional detachment, Doctor?” Psi held out his hand and the Doctor handed him on of the shredders.

“No, no,” Clara protested.

“In case it finds me. It's my choice,” Psi said.

“You don't use that, okay? Promise me.”

“Time to run.”

Psi sat down as the Doctor, Clara, and Elise started running.

“Separate,” the Doctor said.

Clara and Elise went one way, while the Doctor went the other.

The creature entered the corridor.

Clara tried running past the creature and it grabbed her with its mind.

“Clara no!” Elise yelled, “Let her go!”

“Come on! Come and find me!” Psi’s voice yelled, “Every thief and villain in one big cocktail. I am so guilty! Every famous burglar in history is hiding in this bank right now in one body. Come and feast! Clara? For what it's worth, and it might not be worth much, when your whole life flashes in front of you, you see people you love and people missing you. Well, I see no one.”

The creature roared and Clara and Elise ran back to the vault.

The vault door was still closed.

Clara tugged on the bars. “It's not opening. Psi. He died for nothing.”

The Doctor sonicked the computer. “Multiple locks. Last one still in place.” He opened a panel nearby. “Atomic seal. Unbreakable, even for me. The Architect would know that. He wouldn't bring us all this way for nothing.”

“And get two people killed.”

“Exactly. There must be some logic.”

“Some logic?”

“Come on, Architect. What else have you got?”

Thunder crashed outside.

“Of course!” Elise said.

“A storm. The storm's tripping the system. That's what he's got, a storm,” the Doctor said.

“How would he know when a storm would hit?” Clara asked.

The Doctor laughed. “Of course. Stupid, stupid Doctor. Of course, of course.”

“Of course, what?”

“Whoever planned all this, they're in the future. This isn't just a bank heist, it's a time travel heist. We've been sent back in time to the exact moment of the storm, to be in exactly the right place when it hits, because that's the only time the bank is vulnerable.”

“Vault unlocked.”

The door swung open.

“The bank is now open.”

“Vault unlocked.”

“Come on.”

They stepped inside a golden vault lined with safety deposit boxes.

“It explains why we're not here in the TARDIS,” the Doctor said.

“Sorry, what?” Clara asked.

“The solar disruption would have made navigation impossible. The one time the bank is vulnerable is the one time we can't just land.”

Clara pulled out a little card. “Doctor? The code. The code that was in the last case. Look. Tech.”

“Technology. 251. Find it.”

They searched the vault until they found it.

“Tech,” Clara said.

They found the box and the Doctor opened the small case inside.

In it sat a hypodermic needle.

“It's a neophyte circuit.” The Doctor hit a button and it lit up blue. “I've only ever seen one once before. It can reboot any system, replace any lost data.”

“Psi. That's what he came for, his reward.”

“So what did Saibra come for?”

The next code on the card was Org 339, which had a small bottle.

“Gene suppressant,” the Doctor said.

“She wanted to be normal,” Clara said.

“Everyone has a weakness. So the big question is this. What did we come for?”

“PV.”

“Private vault. Karabraxos's own fortune?” He rounded the corner and ran straight into the creature.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

They were taken to an office.

Two guards flanked the trio. One with a helmet and one without.

“Intruders are most welcome. They remind us that the bank is impregnable. It's good for morale to have a few of you scattered about the place, preferably on view,” the manager told them.

She walked up to a wall of monitors showing the poor souls inside the cells. “Are you ready for your close-up? If you're thinking of ways to escape, the Teller will know before you've even made a move. You'll never be bothered by all that thinking again.”

“Useful species,” the Doctor commented.

“Last of its kind, and we've signed an exclusive deal.”

Last of its kind. Those words echoed in Elise’s head at all times, being one of the last living Timelords.

“Must be noisy inside its head. Painful to listen to so much chatter, so many secrets. Must drive it wild. How can you force it to obey?”

“Oh, everything has a price tag, I think you'll find.”

Thunder crashed.

“The storm's getting worse. The customers are leaving. Director Karabraxos will be concerned. Our jobs will be on the line.”

“You're scared.”

“Oh, I'm terrified. I have the disadvantage of knowing Karabraxos personally.”

“If you don't like your boss, why stay?”

“My face fits. Now if you'll excuse me, I must take the Teller to its hibernation. You two, dispose of our guests.”

The manager and the Teller left.

The guards pushed Clara, Elise, and the Doctor up against the wall.

“Don't do this. I'm having a very bad day, and I do not want to be pushed around,” the Doctor said.

“You're wrong,” the guard without a helmet told him.

“Wrong?”

“It's not that bad a day. And you're being very slow.” The guard started to uncuff him.

“Why are you undoing my handcuffs?”

In a second, the guard was Saibra.

“Saibra?”

A very familiar voice came from the other guard. “It looked like death.” The guard took his helmet off to reveal Psi. “It was actually a teleporter.”

Clara hugged him as Saibra undid Elise’s handcuffs.

“Good, eh? You think we're dead, so the Teller thinks we're dead, and we play the creature at his own mind games,” Psi said.

“No, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait. What? Sorry, sorry, what? You, you, you're, you're alive?” the Doctor asked.

“Yeah, we're alive. Look at us. We're all alive,” Saibra said.

“No, no, no, no. Not dead. Alive.”

“There's an escape ship in orbit. Takes you right there. Oh, and there's this big blue box. Is that yours?” Psi asked.

“The TARDIS! Yes!” Elise rejoiced.

“Well, this is good, I suppose. You'll be able to resume the mission,” the Doctor said. He handed Saibra her reward. “Gene suppressant. Antidote for your condition.”

Saibra took the bottle and the Doctor handed Psi his reward. “Memory giver. All your yesterdays.”

Psi took it.

“There you go. Job done, paid in full. Clever old Architect.”

“Very clever,” Saibra said.

“I still hate him.”

“Me too.”

“How were you paid?” Psi asked.

“I don't know. There's something in the private vault.”

[drazavonia]

THE MASTER'S ENDGAME

"THE ETERNAL DREAM OF LIGHT" IMMORTALIZED IN CRYSTAL

The Master of Masters may want to bring REALITY and UNREALITY together, so both realities play under the same rules, extending the reach of his power.

The Master (like Xemnas) wants to create a KINGDOM HEARTS using the hearts of every human in existence, from REALITY and UNREALITY.

Similar to Xehanort's extraction of Vanitas from Ventus or him robbing Sora of his light with the X-blade, The Master will extract all of the Darkness from that KINGDOM HEARTS. 

With a KINGDOM HEARTS of Pure Light in his possession, the Master might do one of two things:

The Master will crystalize his KINGDOM HEARTS. By crystallizing this amalgamation of Hearts of Pure Light, he will immortalize and preserve all of the hearts of pure light. This way Darkness can never penetrate these hearts no matter what.

The second possibility I came up with is cooler and more thematic in my opinion. 

After creating a KINGDOM HEARTS of Pure Light using every heart in existence, just like Xemnas at the end of KH2, the Master of Masters will absorb all of the hearts and Light of KINGDOM HEARTS. Using his God-like power, he will use his light to push the Darkness away to some corner of the world.

After the end of the War between Light and Darkness, the Master will create a world/monument of his own. There he will rest upon his throne and force himself into Crystal Stasis.

What's the point of this?

The Master of Masters is Nomura or his Persona within Kingdom Hearts. The Master crystalized on the throne is his callback to the first Versus XIII trailer with Noctis sleeping on his throne.

By absorbing KINGDOM HEARTS and crystallizing himself, the Master or Nomura becomes the Light of the World and the people.

Because the Master is asleep within his crystal statue he can dream, as well as participate within those dreams (lucid dreaming). All of the hearts within the Master will awaken and continue living within his Eternal Dream World. As we've seen from both Yozora and Xehanort (Yozora transformed his dream using his memories of Shibuya & Xehanort manipulated the landscape of Scala ad Caelum multiple times during his boss fight), the Master undoubtedly has to have "the power of an Architect" or the "power of Reality Shifting". This way he can shape his dream to fit any of his desires.

Why does this make so much sense thematically?

If the Master of Masters is Nomura or his supposed stand-in, then that would mean every character, every world and every possibility for the story of Kingdom Hearts now exists within his Dreams.

To put it more frankly, It's All in Nomura's Head.

How it began,

I've been having these weird thoughts lately… Like is any of this for real, or not?

How it may end,

The Master/Nomura's head is filled with everything and everyone of his characters. This includes everything about them. But because they are sleeping, it's all a dream. 

Which then begs the question, aside from Dramatic Irony,

"Is any of this for real, or not? None of this makes sense to me." I don't really know specifically what that could mean for the Master or Nomura.

The World of Kingdom Hearts Ends with Nomura.

A better example of this would probably be Zanarkand from Final Fantasy X. When the original Zanarkand that existed was destroyed, the souls of the residents of the former, who would come to be known as the Fayth, were sealed in statues (crystalized) and were used by Yu Yevon to dream up a Zanarkand in its original state. This Dream Zanarkand now existed forever as long as the Fayth remained asleep in statues. 

Is this a good or bad ending? 

Is it a good thing for everyone to be subjected to a crystal imprisonment and an eternal sleep they never asked for?

Is it alright for everyone to simply become untethered from reality, even though they may never be able to distinguish between what's real or fake?

However, as we saw in FFX, Tidus was able to manifest as an actual person beyond Dream Zanarkand thanks to Sin.

Then who knows, it is entirely possible someone may find a way to leave the dream of The Master for whatever reason.

(It's Sora.)

Possible Criteria

Similar to how Sora and Mickey needed to be on both sides of The Door to Darkness to lock it with their respective Kingdom Keys, I think the Master needed the Foretellers in REALITY and himself in UNREALITY in order to use KINGDOM HEARTS as a portal or "conduit" to merge the two Realities. 

The Princesses of Heart may be needed, which is why they were brought back into the forefront along with Kairi staying behind in Reality.