#We got plenty of time for angst DW

[maligknightsthorns]

[ disagree ]  your muse sternly telling mine  ‘ no ‘ .

“No Camilla, I’m sorry. I’m not going back no matter how many times you ask me.”

(Handle this prompt how you wish UwU)

[melrodrigo]

Tardy, part 6

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11

Tara Carpenter x Fem!Reader

Summary: You’ve been brutally stabbed, who can you trust?

Warnings: Angst, Violence, Mentions of Violence, Slight Gore, Language, Some fluff

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: More….more angst. (But dw it’s getting better) This one’s for paige and cutie anon :)) I wanna know what y’all think, who’s ghostface??

Ethan looks beat up. He stands in front of you, eyes wide; mouth slightly open.

Where did he come from?

You don’t have the time to make the decision if he’s Ghostface or not, so you assume the worst. You half contemplate making a run for it, maybe you’ll get far enough away that you lose him.

It would never work, you’re aware of that. You’re extremely wounded, he’d catch up to you in a minute.

There’s no way he could’ve attacked you on the balcony, slipped out the robe, and gotten in front of the pub so quick…right?

His eyes fly down to your shoulder, and now his mouth drops open fully.

“YN! Are you alright? I tried to find you as fast as possible, but Ghostface attacked me-“ He stops, catching his breath. “And I- I got away but jesus lord this hurts.”

He points to his thigh, and that’s when you notice the gash; all red and oozing.

He has an attack mark, okay; you think.

But he could’ve easily done it to fake you out. The other part of you thinks.

It wasn’t an outlandish theory, plenty of Ghostface’s before have.

You eye him up and down.

“How did you find me? What the fuck are you doing here?” You question, accusatory tone in your voice.

He looks taken aback, obviously not expecting you to accuse him of being Ghostface.

But then his gaze turns cold, and you realize you’ve never seen the boy angry before.

“Are you kidding me? I came here to look for you, like I said. Your location was on, we have each other on find my friends; don’t you remember? Are you seriously considering me as Ghostface right now?”

You bite back an insult, really study his face. He doesn’t look like he’s lying, but that doesn’t really reassure you.

It’s a race between your head and your heart, and you curse; shaking your head.

The blood you’re losing is starting to take a toll on your critical thinking skills, and you can feel the haze start to take over.

You figure it wouldn’t hurt to have a suspect with you right now, if he tried anything you wouldn’t hesitate to slit his throat.

“Can we talk about this later?” You grit, “I’m kind of dying over here.”

His eyes soften a bit, and you can see the split decision he makes.

“Come on, let’s go back to the apartment.” He urges, signaling you to his car.

You stare at him sharply.

“The apartment? What the fuck are we going to do there? Let’s go to the hospital.” You say.

He shakes his head once, then twice.

“No. Tara would kill me if I don’t get you back in like 10 minutes. Anika’s a nursing major, she’ll fix you up.” He says, helping you up into his car; staining the seat with the amount of blood pooling from you.

You open your mouth to argue, but find you can’t speak. The haze has gotten really bad, and your vision’s starting to blur.

“YN? Stop, stay awake first. Just a few minutes. Keep your eyes open.” You hear faintly, along with the sound of the car speeding through the street.

My eyes….huh, they won’t open. You try to tell Ethan you can’t hold on any longer, but everything turns black as you do.

-

You don’t wake till hours later, propped up on the couch in the apartment; blinking at the bright lights in front of you.

“Oh christ.” You mumble as you try and sit up, but feel your stomach constrict painfully.

“Don’t move.” You hear from beside you, and your eyes shoot to the person sitting next to you; hand on your arm.

It’s Tara, and it only takes you a second to notice the fire in her eyes from before is gone. Nobody else is there in the room, just her and you.

You feel yourself relax a little, tilting your head back up to the ceiling.

It’s silent for a good minute until Tara shifts in her seat, and you can almost feel the hesitance radiating off her.

“What were you thinking? Going off alone, you could’ve been seriously hurt. Hell, you are seriously hurt!” She hisses, and you roll over; scrunch your eyebrows together at her.

It’s infuriating, that she thinks she has the right to be mad at you. After what happened last night? The audacity.

It’s petty, but you don’t care. You want to piss her off.

“Why do you care? I thought you weren’t my girlfriend anymore.” You say, hotly.

Tara’s taken by surprise at your statement, mouth opening and closing; gaping like a fish.

She finally opens it to speak after a few seconds. There’s still irritation in her voice, but it’s lessened almost insurmountably.

“Well, I still care about my friends-“ She starts but you silence her with a finger pressed to her lips.

It’s hard to stop you from speaking now, you’ve spent the last few days stirring and collecting your thoughts.

“Do you really think you can call me your friend after that? Do you treat your friends like you treated me?” You question, and swipe your finger against her lips.

She shivers a little underneath your touch, and sinks timidly onto the floor.

“YN, look I’m sorry. I believe you now.” She mumbles, fidgeting with her fingers.

“Too little too late Tara.” And you sink back into the couch; looking away from the brunette.

You’re butthurt, you’re aware of it; but you still want to make Tara pay a little.

“What can I do, to make it up to you?“ She asks, gingerly placing her hand on yours again.

You retract quickly. You don’t miss the flash of hurt that passes through her features.

You feel your defenses breaking a bit.

“Just give it time, Tara. I want to be left alone.” You sigh, shooting her a final look that screams ‘please just leave’.

She seems to understand, because she gets up immediately and walks away.

You try and quell the pit of regret in your stomach the minute she leaves. After everything, you still miss her. You curse yourself silently.

There’s hushed voices from around the corner that Tara’s just turned. You strain your ears, and you recognize both people speaking immediately.

“Tara where are her parents? Why aren’t we calling them?” Ethan questions; and you can picture his tight brows and unsure stance.

“Her mom’s all the way back in California, and she’s never told me about her dad.” Tara says, “We shouldn’t worry her, YN wouldn’t want that.”

You clench your eyes shut, rub your head in hopes of relieving some tension. Your parents were always a touchy subject, and never failed to give you a headache.

You tune their conversation out after that, try to fall asleep and lessen the aching pain in your lower stomach.

-

You get a good 3 hours in before you’re waking up again, hand clutching the skin beside your wound.

It’s searing, and you need to relieve it now. You’re so caught up in the pain you don’t see the shifting figure across the room.

There’s a shuffling sound somewhere around the room, and you tilt your head to the side; trying to see the person.

It’s Tara, and she’s getting up quickly; moving almost like she’s been caught. She avoids your gaze as she leaves.

You sigh. Bite back your pride as you ask her.

“Wait- Tara could you grab me the ice pack from the fridge?”

She turns around immediately, face lighting up. You pretend not to see.

She walks to the fridge, grabs the ice pack from the freezer and holds it between her hands. It looks huge in comparison to her fingers.

She’s fidgeting with it, the coldness painting the tips of her fingers a slight purple.

It’s kind of cute.

She walks over, footsteps light; and lingers in front of you.

She’s so hesitant with you now you sort of feel bad. Maybe you shouldn’t have been too harsh.

“Come here, what are you waiting for?” You inquire, patting the spot beside you.

She sits and reaches down to your shirt; but she catches herself before she can pull it up; looking at you with searching eyes.

You nod.

She seems to take that as a good enough answer because she pulls it up just enough to show your wound, and she’s wincing at the sight of it.

“Jesus, does it hurt?” She asks, devastated look in her eyes. You look away before you say anything stupid.

“First of all, my name is YN. Second, a little bit.” You say, voice tight.

Shit, that’s a stupid joke.

She ignores your statement and focuses on the wound.

“Oh god, how do I do this? I should’ve asked Anika to come look after you.” She rambles, head swishing back like she’s about to bolt out the room.

You bring up an arm to stop her, ignoring the sharp pain and making her look at you.

“I want you to do it. Here, I’ll help.” You say, hesitating when you remember you don’t know where to put it either.

Obviously she shouldn’t press it right on the wound, you know that. You settle for the area around the wound; the part that’s already turning green and purple.

You’re still touching her hand when you guide her. She’s breathing a little heavy; cheeks tinted the faintest red.

Her touch is so gentle, it makes you swallow nervously. Everything suddenly feels very intimate.

No, how were you breaking already? You literally just told her you needed time.

The look in her eyes as she presses the ice to you makes you think she’s feeling the same way. Avoiding your eyes, gingerly placing her fingers on your skin.

You close your eyes, but Tara must think you’ve gone to sleep, because a few moments later you hear her mutter under her breath.

“I’m so sorry.”

-

You know what people don’t tell you about being brutally stabbed? It’s boring as hell.

It’s been a couple of days, and you can still barely move anywhere; in fact, you think it might be getting worse.

Anika’s come in to check on you every few hours, taking care of the wound and giving you antibiotics. You’re not really sure if she’s qualified to do that, but you shrug it off.

You start conversations and send sweet smiles to her as often as you can, trying to show her you’re grateful for everything she’s doing.

“Oh hush, of course I’ll help a friend in need.” She said once during a new wrap up of your wound, where you’d tried to express how thankful you were.

The rest of the group seems to be feeling guilty for it too, and they’re trying to help; you can see it.

Mindy visits sometimes and tells jokes, sometimes discusses her theories about who ghostface is with you. She’s surprisingly very funny, and you wonder why you haven’t talked more before.

Chad doesn’t really say much, but he buys you snacks and once a bouquet of flowers; handing them over with a shy smile.

Ethan’s ethan. He visits every day, cracks lame jokes. Shows you the latest updates on the game he’s been obsessed with.

And Tara, sweet Tara. She sticks by your side all day and night, but always leaves enough space for you to feel comfortable. Her usual spot is on the armchair across from you, and you’ve caught her staring at you more times than she cares to admit.

Everything’s changed, including your feelings toward her. Your heart swells whenever she asks if you need anything, or checks up on your temperature hourly. You have to fight the urge to pull her down and kiss her as she’s taking a wet towel and wiping your forehead.

But you don’t utter a word, because the damage has been done, and you don’t want to confuse her more than you already have.

The only member of the group to not check up on you yet is Sam, which is understandable. It’s not like you and Sam have a sweet sister-like bond.

But today, when the front door opens and you call out for Tara; Sam enters the room instead.

She doesn’t say anything as she grabs a chair and comes to sit beside you; or more so in front of you.

You try to sit up, but it’s still excruciatingly painful to; so you settle for rolling on your side and making eye contact with the older woman.

“Um, sorry for not coming to check up on you earlier. I wasn’t sure what to say, and I think the rest of the group has it covered.” She says.

You stay quiet as she finds more things to say.

“Are you and Tara alright? I know things were a little tense after the whole DNA debacle.”

You can’t help but snicker.

“Tense is one way to put it.”

“I’m also sorry for not believing you earlier,” She grits, like saying sorry to you is the hardest thing in the world. “I shouldn’t have judged you so hard, because well; you’re obviously not Ghostface.”

She gestures to the 5-inch stab wound.

You grimace, pursing your lips.

“I’m sorry too,” You start, “For bringing Tara up on the roof that day, it was a dangerous thing to do; and Tara could’ve been seriously hurt. God I don’t know what I’d do if Tara had been stabbed that day.” You add the last bit as an afterthought, not really meaning to say it to Sam.

She looks thoughtful as she speaks again, slowly.

“I know we’ve had our fair share of differences, but I can tell Tara loves you. I mean, she practically begged me not to tell the others about the dna.”

You raise your eyebrows, obviously not expecting Sam to admit something like that.

“I’m not exactly sure what she sees in you, but if you make her happy; then I guess I can tolerate you.” She finishes, and for the first time since meeting her; she looks kind.

You know how hard it is for Sam to open up to someone, you’ve heard all about it from Tara. The fact that she’s bringing her defenses down and admitting she’s wrong makes you beam.

“Plus, you aren’t that bad of a fighter; are you? Ethan’s been bragging that his best friend sucker punched Ghostface after getting stabbed.” And you see the ghost of a smile playing on her lips.

It’s gone as fast as it appears, because now Sam’s leaning in, whispering to you even though you’re the only two people in the room.

“Someone’s setting us up.” She says, “It has to be someone from within our friend group.”

She looks small, hunched over with worry swimming in her eyes. You briefly consider taking her hand in comfort; but think better of it.

“Sam,” You say, voice stern. “Whoever this Ghostface is, we’ll find them. And then we’ll kill them together, for Tara.”

Determination runs through your voice, and it must break Sam out of whatever overthinking she’s doing.

She nods, and you guys share a moment of understanding.

“Together. Let’s kill this son of a bitch.”

[sanb3rry]

Hi! I loved your Jean fic so much! 🥰🥰🥰

If you're still open to taking requests, could you possibly do one with an "enemies to lovers" and "hurt-comfort" tropes wherein reader and Jean are always arguing with each other (similar to the canon dynamic between Jean and Eren in the series), but Jean makes a remark that takes things too far and hurts the reader big-time so reader avoids him and Jean gradually realizes that he actually misses the reader.

lover boy !

in which jean's words finally get him in trouble.

cw : angst kinda??, asshole! jean, fem! reader, he gets better tho dw, angst to fluff.

"wow, fuck you jean" you bumped into him as you both played mario kart in connie's apartment. "not my fault you suck ass" he retorted.

your relationship with jean was complicated, to say the least. yea, you argued with each other but if anyone messes with you he'd beat their ass and the same goes for you with him.

you've been crushing on him for a while now but will you admit it? no. will you accept your friends' claims about him liking you back? no, obviously not.

this crush didn't come out of nowhere either, yes jean is very attractive but there are times when he's the nicest person to you. especially when you aren't feeling the best, he catches on to your emotions pretty quickly considering how close you two are.

like mentioned before it's complicated.

connie and sasha were giggling to themselves as they opened the pizza box you ordered. "honestly, why are you so annoying" you asked, "you only think i'm annoying cause i'm beating you in mario kart." he replied.

"that's not true, i think you're annoying all the time."

"uh huh, sure you do."

"ok, that's enough you two." sasha intervened. "anyways how'd that date go with that guy?" she changed the topic.

"shitty." you answered, her attempt to lift the mood had failed. "as expected." jean said.

"what's that supposed to mean?" you questioned, jean glanced at you and back at the tv. "i'm just saying that almost every date or relationship you've been in always ends up being "shitty" or whatever." he explained. "i'm starting to think maybe the problem isn't the guy.".

your eyes widened, "that's low, jean." connie said. "don't connie, i'm leaving." you said as you got your things. "c'mon, i didn't mean it like that" jean said, "yea, don't leave cause of him, please." sasha pleaded. "i'll text you when i get home." you said to sasha. and just like that you left.

"way to ruin the mood jean." connie remarked, "you better apologize."

it's been a week and you haven't talked to jean. and no, he hadn't even come to apologize to you.

honestly, he missed the banters or stupid fights you got with him a lot, and you missed him too but if what he said is what he really thinks then you're better off without him.

it got very awkward whenever you hung out with connie or sasha cause he's always there just looking at you, trying to say something but he just leaves, it's ridiculous.

so when he called you to "talk" right after your last class you agreed.

"uh, i'm sorry about last week. i wasn't thinking right." he said. "yea, you weren't" he chuckled at your comment. "i don't like seeing you get hurt by these people when there are plenty of guys who would treat you the right way, and we both know you aren't the problem, you're an amazing person, i just worded it the wrong way. i'm sorry, i missed you a lot this past week." he continued. his apology was genuine, you could tell.

"i accept your apology, but it still stings when the people you're closest to say stuff like that, y'know." you said, "i know, and i'm so sorry. i didn't mean what i said at all, i'll make it up to you, i swear." you nodded.

"jean, were you talking about yourself when you said 'plenty of guys who would treat you right'." you asked.

"... i mean, i know i'm not the nicest person but if you give me a chance, i swear i'll be the best. it's totally fine if you don't want to either, i don't want to pressure you, especially after what i said last week." he smiled.

"take me on a date and then i'll decide, lover boy."

"deal." he was gonna make it up to you no matter what.

© sanb3rry2023

[jjtheresidentbaby]

Could you possibly do something little!max? Maybe Neil found out she regresses and got REALLY mad about it? So, she had Steve come pick her up and take her to his house. For the rest of the day, Robin, Steve, and a regressed Mike try to help her feel better. Just a little thought tho.

Pick up | Steve x Max x Mike x Robin

Genre: hurt/comfort, kinda angst

Warnings: throwing of plates, implied/referenced child abuse, swearing, crying(it all gets fixed dw)

~

“I told you we should’ve sent to her to that boarding school!” A plate smashes at Max’s bedroom door as she hides away in the corner, reaching a hand up to grab the phone off her dresser.

She had regressed for what has to be the first time since they moved here, three years ago, she’s able to stay big or in a caregiver state with her classification being a flip but apparently that can only last so long. Max had tried to hide her regression from Neil and her mother but a drop of a glass that set her into tears gave it all away, causing Neil to become more than angry.

“Harrington residence.” Steve greets on the other side of the phone, Max sniffles before mustering up the courage to talk.

“S-Steve? I need help.” The redhead whispers as quietly as she can to not alert the wild man outside that she’s calling for help.

“Max? What’s wrong? Is it monsters? Where are you? Are you hurt?” Steve throws the questions out as quick as he can.

“No monsters, m’not hurt besides a little slap, it’s Neil. I need you to pick me up.” Max rubs her free hand at the redness forming on her cheek, it’s going to leave an imprint for a bit from how hard Neil had reeled the slap back.

“Okay I’m on my way with Robin and Mike, you think you can get outside or should I come in?” Another plate to the door has Max whimpering into the tight ball she has herself tucked into.

“No I can get out through the window.” She’s done it plenty of times to go see Lucas or go to the arcade with Mike.

“Okay five minutes out Mad Max.” Steve rarely uses the nickname unless something bad is happening, it brings a comfort to Max’s chest, helps her breathe a little easier.

~

Steve’s there in three minutes, Max can hear the tires screech to a stop as she throws her backpack out of the window then her feet, landing on the grass with only a slight tumble due to her smaller headspace. She still flips off the house as if Neil could see and crams into Steve’s backseat as fast as possible, climbing over Mikes legs to do so.

“Where are we going?” Robin asks five minutes after Steve swerves out of Max’s driveway to speed down the empty road. He looks concerned when Max files his features over from where she’s sat in the backseat, he keeps glancing through the rear view mirror at Max and Mike.

“Kids where do you wanna go?” Max ignores the shake in Steve’s voice, he wouldn’t appreciate it if she called him out.

“Movie! Movie!” Mike happily squeals and goes to reach for Robin, Max grins at the two, Mike being a flip with a caregiver lean means moments like these are rare so Max cherishes it. But it also has her feeling smaller.

“Steve?” Panic floods Max’s chest as she stares up to the drivers seat.

“Yeah Max?” He asks in full concern.

“I- I feel small. I’m- im not supposed to be small but I feels really little.” Steve pulls off to the side of the road so he can turn in his seat and smile softly at Max.

“Max you are allowed to be small and safe with me, I’d never tell you to not regress. Now what does your tiny brain desire?” Max giggles at Steve’s attempts at using fancy language, something Dustin definitely has influenced.

“We see a movie Maxie?” Mike tugs on her shirt with his free hand, the other holding Robins tightly no matter how much she has to stretch her arm to reach him.

“Yeah, movie!” Mike squeals in delight, causing the two caregivers to chuckle and Max to take to leaning her shoulder into the black haired boys, he leans back instantly.

“Stevie movie!”

“Okay okay, I’m going.”

[pavo-ocell-me]

I was threatened into writing a request, guess I’ll have to go with angst— /jk

This might be different from your usual requests, but it would be good to give some of the best kiddos in Mondstadt some happiness.

Could I request some headcanons for Noelle and Bennett getting what they desire the most? For example, I imagine Noelle’s would be becoming a Knight and Bennett’s would be getting a consistent adventure team. How would their personality change? What would we as the traveler/reader notice about them? How do they tell us the news? Sweet fluff like that. It’s a let them be happy challenge. 😤

I swear this will be fluff I swear this will be fluff as I was writing those words i got an idea for angst wtf,,, Most of this is character-centric but both have a smidge of reader content, as an x reader blog they're romantic jajsjs or are they? Another light light angst idea someone stop me

》▪︎Noelle 

How would their personality change?

Noelle, having already been very self-assured in her abilities, is now more confident in herself. Self-esteem is a long-term commitment, but she's familiar with those. Her armor and Favonian crest act as both physical and psychological protection from external and internal threats. She struggles to not clean things regularly and secretly brings some compact cleaning supplies on patrol. Just in case.

Sometimes, if her patrol route allows, she'll sit under Windrise, a rose in her hand and a nostalgic smile on her face. And every year, when dispatched to Liyue for cargo escort, she stops at a certain tea shop and ends her day listening to tall tales at Third-Round Knockout, wishing you were there.

She appreciates that you extended to offer to travel together, but in all her years of pleasing others, she's where she wants to be and she's putting herself first. No one is worth leaving the Knights, not even someone she loves because finally, finally she's fulfilled herself.

 What would we as the traveler/reader notice about them? 

Her head is held higher, she's as poised as ever, and she's less nervous. Although she's achieved her goal, her will is still as strong as it was before. After all, performance exams are still exams. She's gotten this far, and she's here to stay.

She invites you on patrol with her when you're in town and brings you back to Windrise when she can, presenting you with a rose every time. She's been to your teapot several times before and it never fails to make her smile when seeing the large vase of roses Baizhu has, upon request, made more resilient.

How do they tell us the news?

If you're not a crier then the end to this is not for you lmao dw its fluff I'm just a baby

"Aha! There you are, Traveler. How are things? I'm sure you've brought plenty of whimsical foreign gifts back for me."

"Kaeya! What a surprise, I wasn't aware the Knights did welcoming committees."

"Only ever for you, sweetheart," he teased. "Come with me, we have something planned."

"We?"

"Oh, did I say we?" A knowing smirk played on his lips. Without another word, he took off, and you had no choice but to follow.

He took you to lunch at Good Hunter, purposefully making as much idle chit-chat as possible to see you squirm until…

"Kaeya! As lovely as this is, I have someone I really need to see. We can grab lunch tomorrow, but I'm dying to see her."

"Hm, she should be done by now anyways. Too fast at cleaning for her own good, I suppose."

"Are you talking about… I can't believe you were here to stall me!" you scoffed. "Hm, wouldn't she have any cleaning done in advance though? Is everything alright?"

"You'll see," was all he gave before briskly walking away, leaving you with nothing to do but follow. 

》▪︎《

Kaeya left you at her door with a wave, likely off to skirt paperwork. You knocked firmly, excited to see your dear friend after so long. Noelle whipped open the door, a surprise on it's own, but nothing was more astounding than the armor she wore.

"By the Seven… finally! Finally they let you pass!" You threw your arms around her, luggage forgotten on the cobble.

She blushed but didn't shy away like usual, instead returning your hug with vigor. "Yes! It seems visiting you in Liyue was just what I needed, these past 6 months have been nothing but vigorous and I felt so much more capable after our time together. I ended up passing! I was going to send you a letter, but by the time my custom armor was delivered I'd received your last letter! I'm so happy you're here."

You drew back, hands still on her pauldron-clad shoulders as you examined her face. She seemed more… well, just more. She was still Noelle, bashfulness and all, but it was more flustered than embarrassed.

One of your hands dropped to her sternum, fingers playing over the Favonian crest that gleamed there.

"You look so dignified," you whispered with a smile.

"And you look absolutely radiant."

That was a surprise.

Before you could ask, she continued. "Come with me to Windrise."

》▪︎《

Silence was regular between the two of you, comfortable even. No matter how much or how little you wanted to say, Noelle was a calming presence and silence fell naturally.

After stopping a moment to offer your respects to Barbatos, she had you follow her around the tree. You smiled, remembering the last time you were here. Noelle was turning a handmade paper rose in her hands— just like she was now? She must have brought one with her, how cute.

"Y/N… before I give this to you, do you know the meaning of a rose?"

"Of course! You gave me one last time we were here, a promise to be my confidant."

She grinned at the memory, but gently shook her head. "Remember the Traveler? When they were here, they told me what a rose means where they are from. Y/N, this rose represents all the secrets I've kept from you. You see, I was waiting until I reached knighthood before declaring this, and it has happened all too fast. However, one thing I'm sure of is what this rose means. In giving you this rose… I give you my heart. That is what the Traveler told me. I hope you will accept." She held the paper creation out to you, determined eyes fixed on your shocked ones.

"Oh, Noelle… " she faltered seeing your eyes glaze over and hearing your voice waver. "All this time I've been warring within myself whether or not to put myself out there or wait for you to take the first step. I've wanted to be with you for years now, I cherish you and all that we have so dearly," you rushed quietly, gingerly plucking the rose from her fingers and cradling it to your chest.

And so you sat under Windrise, a paper rose in one hand and the hand of your new lover in the other.

》▪︎Bennett

How would their personality change?

He'd mature a bit, being slower to blame things on bad luck since he's realized good things DO happen, sometimes they just come slower. He's more careful, taking responsibility for being too reckless with the excuse of his bad luck. At long last, he's learned when his bad luck really strikes now that he's able to prevent more. Of course, he's still a fun-loving trouble magnet, but he's more in tune with his sense of self. He does hold some guilt because countless people were hurt because of his recklessness and he dismissed it because of his curse, perhaps he even lost someone, but he's working through it and taking steps to avoid a recurrence.

What would we as the traveler/reader notice about them? 

He's got a more dignified air about him, no matter what age he finally gets his team together. He's bouncing off the walls less and takes caution in case one of his team members is at risk due to his bad luck. Still always goes in first, both as their trouble magnet and as team leader. He goes a bit quiet sometimes, but when you've asked others, they say he doesn't do it with them. What could be the cause?

Now that he's got a stable income, he hires someone to do his shopping for him. It gets difficult to eat when everything's out of stock or too expensive!

How do they tell us the news? 

This one's better answered as "how does he celebrate" because there's no way you don't know every development of this as it occurs.

Since the beginning of the week, Bennett had been talking nonstop. And with good reason, too. He found some people to adventure with, all of whom had experienced his bad luck firsthand and had decided he was worth it. No matter where you were, be it by his side in Mondstadt or deep in the stifling clutches of Inazuma, you were apprised of the situation and were set to be there when they signed up as a team under Benny's name.

》▪︎《

Today was the day. Bennett had burst into your room (despite it being locked) and woken you early that morning. Once you were coherent, you took a moment to process the contrast between how gently he woke you and how he was dashing about your room, tossing clothes at you and putting toothpaste on your toothbrush before you'd even gotten out of bed.

"Come on, Y/N! I let you sleep in, but I want to get there early!"

"I'm coming, give me a bit," you shook your head with a smile and began your morning routine, Bennett waiting quietly on the bed. He was almost vibrating by the time you finished, and the second your pack was slung over your shoulder he had your wrist in his hand and was already in the hall, barely giving you time to shut the door behind you both.

》▪︎《

You and Bennett had some time to talk before the others arrived at the Guild, so he reminded you of who they were, the strengths they'd bring to the team, and anything else he could remember. 

Katheryne was equal parts excited and nervous, especially when one of the members was ten minutes late. A loud cheer went up when they arrived, much to their embarassment.

It wasn't a big affair, just some signing and sealing of papers, but Katheryne had put up a few streamers and ordered a cake from Good Hunter with his signature thumbs-up, left with Sara so they could have a celebratory meal beforehand. It was a short walk to Good Hunter, but you were wiping happy tears from Bennett's eyes the whole time, his team members looking on in varying degrees of humor and concern.

》▪︎《

The meal was fantastic, all kinds of personalities coming together in a wonderful group. Bennett's demeanor seemed to change depending on who he was speaking to, having learned to engage different parts of himself to complement his teammates. You were proud of him, he'd come so incredibly far from when you first met him. Bennett would always be Bennett, but it was heartening to see how he allowed himself to enjoy the company of others and how it made him a more well-rounded person. 

At long last, everyone said their farewells and Sara offered her last congratulation of the day. Bennett had offered to walk you to the city gates, but seemed to have either slipped into a quieter mood or tired himself out. It was difficult to tell.

In truth, Bennett was furiously putting together vivid plans of how he was going to ask you out. He'd get down on one knee— that's for much later, no. He'd get down on BOTH knees— wait no, too weird. He'd take you somewhere nice— can't enjoy it, not with his luck. Would you look at that, he's standing in front of your door and you're saying goodnight. 

"Wait!" he yells, mind catching up to the present.

"Yeah, braveheart?"

That nickname never failed to make his heart soar, especially paired with that smile of yours.

"You in there, Benny?"

"Yeah! Yes. Yes I am," he rushed with a sheepish grin. "Hooh, no time like the present. Would you go to Good Hunter with me? Not now, but sometime? As a… as a date?"

Your grin shone brighter than the afternoon sun. "Of course Bennett. I'll see you tomorrow bright and early," you lilted before packing his cheek and walking away.

The grass at his feet burned as hot as his cheeks while he walked back into Mondstadt.

If the endings seem rushed that's bc they are ‼ ty for reading ♡

[multifandom-panda]

HOW CHIBNALL PISSED ME OFF

I have been away from Tumblr for years, but here I am now. The reason for my return is simple: Chibnall pissed me off and Facebook is not the right place for a a rant like the one you are going to read. Posting it on twitter would make more sense, you say? Probably. But I have no time to count words. I will start with why I had high expectantions on Chibanl and then I will explain how he shuttered every single one of them. 

1. When I heard Chibnall was coming after Moffat I was happy. I have always had that twisted relationship with Doctor Who where I loved the adventures, the adrenaline, the jokes, the discoveries, the aliens, but I also loved the feels and angst that came with the Companions and the Master. I had seen Broadchurch, so I “knew” Chibnall, I was sure enough he would not mess around. I was so wrong

2. Female!Doctor. Not a fan. Nu-uh. I have never felt the need for a female Doctor. There were plenty of great female characters in Doctor Who, both in the Classic era and the New era. Every single one of them had their own personality, their own skills and flaws. It was great, because they were actually people. Doctor Who was the first show that I watched where I didn’t get annoyed by female characters. They were strong in their own ways, and that didn’t mean being a super killing machine without special fighting skills. They were real and they were fundamental. Without them the Doctor lost his moral compass and we saw that more than once. So no, I didn’t need a female Doctor, I was alreay represented by amazing women in the show who were not less important than him. Moreover, I have no problem feeling represented by a man, I mean... men are still people, they have feelings and I am capable of understanding that. It’s called empathy. I am not so stupid that I cannot relate to a character only because they don’t have my genitalia. 

3. Lack of imagination. Another problem I have with a female Doctor is the same I have when authors remake characters, when they change gender or ethnicity to a character to give people representation. It’s insulting. You are basically saying that you are not capable of creating a new character for that minority (being women, an ethnic group or disabled people) without using a pre-existing character. It means that in your head, to detach yourself from the negative stereotypes, you need a white male model because you are not able to imagine a minority character without those flaws on your own.

4. Companions: Graham was fun compared to Ryan and Yaz, but if we compare the Companions to the older ones, the new ones lose. And lose real bad. They left me nothing. They characterization is non-existent, they follow the Doctor and that’s it. Ryan should have disability but it appears only when the screenwriter remembers. Meh. I don’t have much to say about them, they really didn’t left any impression on me. I was not fond of Martha and I can list reasons why, I couldn’t stand Clara and I can go on 30 minutes saying why. These new ones are just... meh.

5. The Doctor. I didn’t see him... her... them. Let’s start with a note: I saw Jodie in Broadchurch and I didn’t like her there, so when I found out she was going to be the new Doctor, I was not amazed. If it had to be a woman, I would have preferred someone else, but anyway. This Doctor didn’t have any special features, it just looked like an hyped 10 or 11, but without their depth. Kind is an adjective, not a character trait. I feel that her character was not studied enough, she didn’t have enough depth. It got better with the beginning of this new season but honestly? You can’t be able to write a character properly only when they face their nemesis. 

6. The episodes. Oh. My. God. The first season of this new Doctor was a series of episodes that looked like they jumped out of the 60s. Teaching people through an entertainment show doesn’t mean you have to take the show, make an episode on whatever the problem you want to discuss is and make some sort of documentary about it. It means you try to explain to people through fun, adventures, analogies... those who watch DW now are not 6 years old. They know that if you show them a genocide on another planet with segregation, spaceships etc, you are telling them not to be racist assholes. They do not need Rosa Parks to give them a lecture. Episode in which appears a villain with an unkown objective and we don’t see ever again, but ok. 

7. The cherry on top. The timeless children. What. The. Actual. Fuck. So Chibnall just decided to take 60 years of TV show and toss it into the garbage can, right? That was the purpose, right? Because otherwise I don’t see it. So the Doctor is a creature from another planet, not Gallifrey, who can regenerate. The Gallifreyan see them, think “oh nice” and go all Frankenstein on them. Noice. I have just a teeny tiny itsy bitsy problem with that. And for one I mean so many that they are more than the leaves on the trees in the Amazon forest. You are nullifying “End of time”, “This is Gallifrey”, the 50th anniversary... moreover Clara saw their past, she would have seen that something was off. They can’t remember? Fine. But it’s still there, it’s not like they transplanted their brain. 

8. The name of the Doctor. The big secret. The name that must never be spoken. The name that was keeping the universe together... and they revealed it like that. Brendan? Really? The name of the Doctor was a legend, you were not supposed to name them for real! Brendan? SERIOUSLY?

9. Doctor and Master. They were friends since they were kids. They grew up together. They studied together. They went on adventures together. They lost friends together. They grew apart and they kept fighting each other... but they were best enemies. Ok, a couple of times one really killed/let the other die, but go back to the beginning and count those times. They were two faces of the same coin, getting on each other nerves and saving each other over and over again. For the Doctor, the Master was the only other Time Lord in the universe for so long he was willing to pardon a genocide to save him (more than once). Their relationship was based on the fact that in a way they were complementary: the Master has no restraints, while the Doctor tries to be good when they both have done so many terrible things (including genocide, eh Doctor? You are not so innocent, honey). Their relationship was beautiful and painful. And it went down the drain. You are telling me that the Doctor is a superior being, they are not equals anymore, they are not two faces of the same coin, they are not even the same species so what are we talking about? And the coldness of the Doctor while she lets him die? Who the hell are you?

TL;DR Chibnall took a character I loved from a show I loved and torn it apart. The season and the characters were not written as I expected, I mean that they were 2D version of themselves, no depth there. Nothing interesting. I think he tried too much all at once: female Doctor, 3 companions, one shot episodes. Man, pick one thing you want to change and stick with it. You already have to run a show you have never run before, so you have to understand how to make it work. 4 characters are difficult to handle all at once and at the same time give them all the right space, depth and characterization in seasons that have less than 15 episodes each.

I am so pissed. I didn’t appreciate Jodie, but in a little corner of my mind I had always tought I would come back to Doctor Who once she was gone, but that’s not possible anymore. Funny thing is, this show made me meet the majority of my friends, the people with whom I started hanging our 6 years ago. We would have never met without DW probably. I kind of feel robbed now.

[angsty-nerd]

18, 19, 20

18. What is your favorite unpopular ship?

Uh, Echo? That or Harry/Hermione. One of the two. But I think they’re really different. Echo is canon, the main characters on the show, and I’m pretty damn sure that outside of fandom they’re popular. But inside of fandom sometimes Echo shippers kind of feel like ugly stepchildren, I think. The sheer constant THIRST for any fanfic content is outright killing me. Harry/Hermione was different, because they weren’t canon. But by nature HP fandom was so much huger that even as unpopular as we were, there were plenty OF us. But there was also definitely a destain for us from the canon ships.

19. Do you prefer fluff, angst, or smut for your ships?

It’s going to sound like I’m copping out here, but the honest answer is all three at once. I’ve coined the way I like to write as angsty fluff or fluffy angst... because I think JUST fluff is somewhat boring and less compelling. But JUST angst is too painful. And some smut is always nice. So I need enough emotions or enough story to engage me... I guess some sort of emotional charge that maybe starts off a bit on the angsty side, but ends with fluffy happiness (and smut).

20. Do you prefer bigger fanbases or smaller fanbases?

Hmm... I think smaller, generally. But there are perks to bigger ones. Bigger fandoms you get more reinforcement for your work. But you can also feel a little invisible and you can hide and lurk easier. Sometimes that can be a good thing...but if you want to engage and you want to meet people, it can be a lot easier in a smaller fandom. So I guess it kind of depends on what you’re looking for. I never met any friends in HP fandom. It was big and I was able to be invisible.

DW fandom is HUUUUGE and I met a few people in person through that fandom. One became a very close friend for a long time...until she wasn’t anymore. One was a really brief relationships...because I figured out that she was nuts. And then two were one-time meetings...although one of those I still talk to pretty regularly. And the other I just started following again here on Tumblr.

OG Roswell was pretty small and I was heavily engaged. I knew lots of people in lots of different fandom social circles. I was a known commodity when I walked into a room. By the end of that fandom, I had hit a point where some of the cast (notably Nick Wechsler) knew me by site even though I wasn’t a fan who was always in his face. And I’m still facebook friends with Melinda Metz and with one of the OG show’s writers because of repeated meetings with them. It was an incredibly positive experience overall. Yes, I met some people I would consider crazies. But I also made some awesome friends.

I think RNM is still up in the air for me. I see a lot of conflicty/drama issues with our little fandom and I don’t like that. I wish we all got along a little bit better as a community. I don’t see this fandom going down the OG route where we have regular gatherings and where all different corners of the fandom know each other by name and face and username...but I do enjoy the show and the little corner of fandom that I hide in, and if there’s ever an opportunity for a gathering I would probably jump on it to meet some of these people in person.

[tenjouu]

uwu

since i was tagged i guess i gotta! @day-chan

thanks for the mention~ i tried to condense everything! i hope you enjoy reading LOL

1. Why do you like Ikemen Revolution?

high fantasy and angst get me real good and cradle’s a world just waiting to be unraveled and i’m here for it! also because i like interacting with fandom and i get good energy from players~ (also lancelot’s the prettiest man alive)

2. Top 3 suitors and why?

LOL of the 4 that i’ve played in english...... 1) edgar 2) lancelot 3) ray

because they are suffering on the inside and i’m all for characters who’ve got scars over their hearts but are still chugging through! there are a lot of good messages in their routes, so i felt like i could really resonate with the storytelling because it’s just so Right and they overcome/begin to overcome their personal demons/struggles. like metaphorically edgar gets freed, lancelot gets freed, ray--kinda gets freed IDK LOL

3. Suitor you relate the most to? i guess personality wise, hmm, this is surprising but...ray? i really thought about it and i was like yeah, honestly same. his story’s message about freedom/equality/being a good person gets me. and he likes cats 

4. Favourite route? the freshest one in my mind is the one i’m playing so TBH ZERO right now. he’s very cute and i’m very emotional. sometimes you just want a feel good route and i’m honestly feeling really good. zero deserves all the love and validation. his pure reaction when alice said they were friends. like bro

5. Favourite moment/chapter in a route? 

loving when cybird serves up some deep messages! there were a few so i’mma have to just put ‘em down (up to a degree of inaccuracy, my memory’s CRAP)

lancelot: 

‘i must not give up on the future of this country’; 

‘i’ve worked hard to build an army that i can trust’; 

‘i can’t die here’; 

‘you hypocrite! / 笨蛋’ LOL; 

‘i will love u until i’m dust’; 

‘dw even if they kill us edgar and i won’t die’ - zero

ray: 

‘in that case i have no choice but to destroy your world’; 

‘people like us deserve to walk in the light, and to live a life free of self-hatred and self-doubt, and people who don’t have magic....’

sirius: 

‘if you can’t even laugh in the world you live in there’s something wrong with the world, not you’; 

‘don’t forget what you’re fighting a war for’ or smtg

‘please spare my life!’ ‘do what?’

harr trying to kill lancelot LOL. ‘next time we meet is the day U Die’ - harr

edgar

all of it! i love personal-darkness-and-overcoming-it narratives and his nailed it. 10/10 one of best routes. any time alice catches him off-guard. boy

6. Favourite suitor pet? i’m gonna go with kyle’s. i love braised pork belly

7. Least favourite suitor and why?

bro,. so hypothetically if amon were to be a suitor then i’m gonna have to go with amon because i hate that dude. he has straight 0 redeeming qualities and idgaf whether he lives or dies.

otherwise..... i liked certain parts of his route and i love that he loves his friends, and he’s got his heart in the right place, but as a suitor....sirius, my man. i’m sorry. i like his reason for joining the army and at first i was gettin’ into the groove of his route because i liked his competent, capable vibes but then i feel like he didn’t follow up on it. also it feels like he didn’t get any major character development (feel free to @ me on this!). i was very much unhappy with getting shoved down the rabbit hole. and that last inn scene was just like lol.... i was disgruntled by the lack of communication because a lot of alice’s POV was inner monologue ‘unrequited’ pining and waxing poetic about sirius’ morals and charms while he just skirted addressing their actually mutually requited love up until his epilogue. and it just didn’t feel like a very equal relationship. also personal opinion but idk like why can’t you just say ‘i love you’? i was really annoyed with why his epilogues were straight up alice trying to get sirius to say he loves her? like really lmao? like lancelot’s, sure, one of his epilogues was like ‘wow we never established we were lovers’ but the keyword is we and from there it was like who’s gonna say it first? but sirius has had plenty of opportunities to respond to alice’s multiple ‘i love you’s. i get that actions are louder than words but i was just not here for the ridiculous amount of emotional labor alice put in for this dude when he arguably like, wasn’t struggling too hard emotionally in comparison to other characters? i didn’t read his side POVs so you can @ me on this too. lol overall his character got shafted by the writing idk

12. Route you’re anticipating the most? MMM. harr

his route is like the true end, ya feel? like the absolute end of the magic tower won’t come until harr gets his justice on screen. harr’s has the revolution!! also because he’s a cute boy and i’m weak for shy but also really nice and kind and strong guys LOL. what happened to your eye harr

13. If you were a suitor, what otome trope would you embody the most? i’m hideyoshi but asexual and without the initial distrust/hostility or maybe easily flustered megane.  i realize those two options are very different

14. What would your pet be if you were a suitor? penguin

17. How much has this game consumed your life on a scale of 1 to 10? if i’m writing fanfic for this hell game i guess like a 9

[starryeyed-char]

Realities

THANK YOU FOR 2K FOLLOWERS! Here’s a long (for me, 4K words) one-shot to celebrate! On AO3 I’m going to split it into two parts, but here I wanted it all in one place... so...

It’s Keith-centric, canonverse klangst (we’re still throwing the angst at Lance dw) that could be seen as platonic or romantic and is very loosely based off of my addition to this post but with Keith. It’s set after the fourth episode of season 3 at first, and then switches to post-season 4, so just be aware of that.

Summary: After traveling to a different reality, Keith wants to ask Slav about it, as the whole concept confuses him. What he finds out, however, is far from what he wanted to hear. Apparently, there are a lot of realities in which things don’t end too well, particularly for Lance.

Keith wasn't sure how the others could stand it. Ever since they'd returned from the alternate reality, thoughts of it had been plaguing his mind. He even found himself pondering it more than where Shiro might've gone.

But then again, the Shiro of the other reality didn't so much as recognize Keith. In fact, he was an entirely different person. The outcome of the war had a butterfly effect, and the two timelines were so drastically different that it made his head spin.

He almost understood why Slav was so crazy, and unable to talk about anything else. If Keith knew every possible outcome of every situation and what said outcomes could lead to, he was sure he'd have gone insane, genius or no.

He'd resolved to discuss the topic with Slav, and told the team as much at breakfast one morning.

Lance nearly choked on his food goo. “You want to do what?!”

“I feel like talking to Slav will give me a better understanding of alternate realities,” Keith said. “Come on, after today you guys have got to be as curious as I am, right?”

Lance shook his head. “Absolutely not. That guy's insane! If you find out all the possibilities you're going to be just as paranoid as him! Then who would make the reckless decisions around here?”

Pidge raised an eyebrow. “Still you, Lance.”

“Okay, but Slav is still crazy! He's the reason why my fear of airlocks keeps returning to haunt me!” Lance looked around at the rest of his team for support. “Every time an airlock is involved, I nearly die! He's got it out for me!”

“Lance, you nearly die all the time just fine on your own,” Pidge told him. “You don't need anyone's help on that matter.”

“I don't know, maybe someone talking to Slav is a good idea,” Hunk said. “Have any of you been to talk to him since the fight with Zarkon? He's going to be here until we take a wormhole to his planet, and I bring him food sometimes...”

“I go to ask him about our strategies for missions occasionally,” Allura spoke up. “Though he's usually not much help.”

“You can talk to him as much as you want, Keith, but it'll probably just stress you out more. Why don't you just do what I do? Go with the flow! Whatever is going to happen will happen,” Lance said, with a smile. “No point trying to fight against fate.”

“Not everyone is as easy going as you, Lance,” Allura pointed out.

Pidge smirked. “Yeah, we can't all be idiots.”

Lance shot her a glare and opened his mouth to say something else, but Keith was already standing from the table.

“I still think it'll be worth it to at least talk to him.”

It was this mindset that brought Keith to Slav's room immediately after this. He hadn't really seen the alien around much after Shiro's disappearance, as he preferred to keep to himself while living in the castle. And as difficult as holding a conversation with him could be... if Keith was supposed to be the leader now, he thought it necessary that he ask.

When the door opened, Slav didn't even turn to look at him before speaking. “I was wondering how long it would take for you to visit me. In the vast majority of realities where you and the other paladins end up traveling across realities, we have this discussion.”

Slav turned around then, and Keith was momentarily taken aback. The alien was usually extremely overexcited to talk about all the probabilities of occurrences, but he regarded Keith with sad, weary eyes.

If Slav knew this conversation was coming... had he been dreading it? Why?

Keith shook his head to clear it. Whatever the case may be, he'd made it this far, and he wasn't going to back down until he gained a better understanding of this reality business. If Lotor knew all about it, they had to be prepared for anything.

“How... how different are the realities?” Keith finally asked. “In the other world, Alteans won the fight against the Galra, and took control of the universe. Nearly everything changed.”

Slav sighed. “A new reality is created for every possible outcome. It can be huge, like the victors in a war, or something as small as what you decided to eat for breakfast this morning.”

Keith looked at his feet, not sure if he wanted to ask. In the other reality, Shiro — or Sven, he supposed — didn't even recognize him. How could it be that under different circumstances, he and Keith may never had met?

Shiro was the only person he'd been able to count on. Without him, Keith never would've been able to pursue his dream of becoming a pilot at the Garrison.

And if he'd never gone to the Garrison, he never would've met anyone else on their team. He never would've met...

“Does...” the question was on the tip of Keith's tongue, but he couldn't ask it. He didn't want to know how many worlds there were in which Shiro and the others had never crossed his path. “Does that mean there are realities in which Shiro never disappears?”

Slav looked like he definitely didn't want to answer that. “Yes,” he said finally. “But only under drastically different circumstances.”

“What do you mean, 'different circumstances?'” he asked. Slav hesitated. “I want to know.”

“There are some realities in which you piloted the Black Lion from the beginning, with your friend Lance in Red, and Shiro in Blue. Not the majority, but some. Shiro's disappearance was due to him not being the true black paladin. It... it was always meant to be you.”

No.

“I don't understand.”

“Well, in this reality at least. Anything is possible,” Slav reminded him. The alien was clearly becoming invested. “There are realities in which Zarkon never betrayed the others, and remained the black paladin until his natural death. There are realities in which Shiro remains the black paladin, or even one of your other teammates takes up the role. But... in the overwhelming majority of realities in which your team are the Voltron paladins, you pilot the Black Lion.”

“But... if it's possible that Shiro remains the black paladin, then... isn't it possible that he could've stayed in Black after we won the battle?” Keith asked. “He'd still be the leader.”

Slav shook his head. “You misunderstand. I said before, you'd need drastically different circumstances, and winning the battle as you did his disappearance was unavoidable. Unless something equally bad or even worse were to happen. Believe me when I say that this is the best outcome you could hope for.”

Keith crossed his arms. “I don't see how this could be any worse.”

“You are all so young,” Slav said sadly. He averted his eyes from Keith's angry glare, opting to organize materials on his desk. “But you forget that you're fighting a war. Wherever Shiro is, you have no reason to believe that he's in danger. But you've already seen your teammates get injured multiple times. Would that really be preferable to you?”

“Well, at least they're still here.”

“Not always.” Slav muttered this under his breath, while absentmindedly cleaning.

Keith still heard him, and his head snapped up. “What?”

Slav glanced up at him, eyes widening. “Oh...  um... I just meant that—”

“Slav,” Keith spoke through gritted teeth. “What do you mean, 'not always'? Do they... are there realities where someone dies?”

Slav didn't answer right away. His shoulders slumped. “Yes,” he finally said.

Keith wanted to punch him, even though he knew the alien wasn't to blame. He knew that he'd come there wanting to have this conversation and yet... and yet...

He'd lost too many people already. Now, even Shiro. The thought of losing another one of the teammates that he'd come to see as family... he couldn't take it.

“How?”

“You've all already been injured plenty of times,” Slav told him. “I said before, a new reality is created every time there's a different possible outcome. There are plenty of realities where those injuries were fatal... where someone couldn't be saved.”

Image after image flashed through Keith's mind then. He hadn't thought about it much until then, just how close they came to death sometimes. Keith wasn't one to dwell on close calls, or think about everything that could've gone wrong. He moved forward.

But now... now Keith was thinking about every situation in which he'd been scared out of his mind, a feeling he'd pushed back and buried as soon as his teammates were out of danger. Thinking about how, in another time and world, Keith had another broken family.

But more than that, his mind zeroed in on the recurring image. Lance.

Keith hadn't given much thought to how often the current red paladin got injured before. But now...

Lance, in an open air lock and screaming for help, holding on desperately so he wouldn't suffocate in space.

Lance, bruised and beaten at the hands of Sendak, smiling at Keith even though he'd taken all the force of a bomb.

Hell, on the mission in the other reality Lance had nearly gotten shot in the head. A blast like that... it would've killed him.

And those were just the times Keith knew about. Did Lance get himself into as much danger when he was on missions with the others?

He had a feeling he already knew the answer.

Keith had begun to see a pattern, one he wasn't sure how he hadn't noticed before. And he didn't like it.

“Who?” The word was barely a whisper. Slav stared up at him in confusion.

“You've all had close calls. There are different timelines in which different members of your team are hurt badly or—”

Keith seized the front of Slav's shirt, pulling him forward by the collar. “Who?”

Slav gulped. “I-In... in the ma-majority of... of realities where someone... one of y-you dies it's... it's the... well, it's Lance.”

And there it was.

Lance was full of himself. Selfish, arrogant, and often times a bit of an idiot. Not to mention he treated the whole thing like it was a joke half the time.

But... but the true Lance was someone brave. Daring. Focused. More clever and strategic than anyone gave him credit for.

And he'd put the lives of his friends before his own in a heartbeat.

Lance had done so, countless times.

Keith felt his eyes sting, but he refused to let the tears fall. “Is he... does he... does anything happen to him in this reality?”

Slav was still refusing to look at him. “I believe this is the reality where everything works out fine for your team but I... I can't promise anything. I won't truly know the probabilities of all that could happen until the moment. For now all I know is... his chances they... they're not very good.”

Keith let go of Slav's collar immediately, squeezing his eyes shut. He let out a slow breath before he trusted himself to speak. “Thank you,” he whispered, as he walked out the door.

Keith wasn't sure where he was headed. He didn't have the energy to go train, but he didn't want to eat, and he definitely didn't need to see the others. Maybe he should just retreat back to his room.

He bumped into someone who was running around the corner. Keith took a step back, and met the deep blue eyes of Lance.

He gave him that bright, infectious grin of his, and held up the object in his hands. “Hey, Keith. Sorry about that, I'm confiscating Pidge's laptop until she eats something. Group effort with Hunk. He makes the food, I hide the tech.”

Keith blinked. In what world did Lance apologize for bumping into him, instead of grumbling an irritated 'Watch where you're going!'

Lance's smile disappeared as he stared at Keith. “Hey, man... are you okay?”

Keith forced a weak smile, forced the tears back. “Yeah, I'm... I'm fine. My head's just reeling from talking to Slav.”

Lance snorted. “Sounds about right. Head into the kitchen, I'm sure Hunk can fix something up for you, too. I'll be there in a minute, just—”

“LANCE!” Pidge shouted from down the hall. “WHERE ARE YOU, YOU QUIZNAK?”

Lance winced, before casting Keith another quick smile. “Just gotta hide this, first,” he finished, gesturing at the laptop again. “Think that's my cue. See you later, Samurai!”

Keith stared after him before continuing on his way. He didn't go to the kitchen with Hunk and Pidge. He went straight to his room.

And for the first time in a while, Keith let himself cry.

Later that night, Keith returned to Slav's room. He didn't bother knocking, just barged right in and fixed him with a glare.

“You're wrong,” Keith said, bluntly.

Slav raised an eyebrow. “Wha—?”

“Lance isn't going to die,” Keith continued, as if he hadn't spoken. “There's absolutely zero chance that he will. Because I'm not going to let that happen. Not in any reality, not if I can help it.” didn't wait for a response, just turned and stormed back out the door.

Keith passed Lance in the hall again, who had the nerve to stick his tongue out at him.

“You blew us off earlier,” Lance said. “Think you're too good to hang out with the rest of your team, oh fearless leader?”

“I just... sorry, but if you want to do that now, we... uh, we can?”

Lance grinned. That same blinding, brilliant smile that made something in Keith's heart just float and fall all at once. He slung an arm across Keith's shoulders.

And he was falling harder than ever.

“I knew you'd come around,” Lance declared. “Can't brood in your room forever, can you, Mullet? Must get boring even for someone as emo as you—”

“Hey!”

“—but anyway, you're just in time. Hunk and Coran are about to make dinner, and I need a partner for videogames.”

Lance continued to chatter aimlessly and they walked down the hall, and Keith had never been more sure of anything in his entire life.

Maybe Keith was the black paladin now. And maybe he had to lead his team in saving the entire universe.

So to hell with probabilities and realities, because Keith was going to save Lance, too.

Keith was just coming back from a mission with the Blade of Marmora when it happened.

He wasn't willing to admit how big a part that conversation he'd had with Lance after Shiro returned had played in his decision to start drawing away from Voltron and toward the Blade. In his mind, it was simple. This was the way things would work themselves out. They could form Voltron without him, they didn't need him, and this way Keith could maybe find out more about his past...

What did it matter whether or not his heart was in it?

The way Keith saw it, Lance was right, but not about everything. There were six paladins and five lions— someone was going to have to step down. But unlike Lance, Keith knew who the truly replaceable one was.

Him.

Sure, he was a good pilot, but they'd all connected with their lions so much at this point that that was hardly relevant. He was too reckless, too impulsive to be a part of something as big as Voltron, and he knew that. He took too many risks to be responsible for the lives of other people as well as his own.

Keith took comfort in the fact that he'd still be important in the fight against the Galra Empire. He was the only paladin with multiple options like that, and he was never planning to altogether give up.

He could do what he wanted this way. Act by himself, make his own decisions, focus on missions. After all, that was what he'd wanted as a paladin... wasn't it?

So yes, if someone had to leave Voltron, it should be Keith.

Because if it wasn't Keith, it would be Allura, who'd been so excited to bond with a lion. Who he knew had grown incredibly attached to Blue, who saw the bond as a connection to everything and everyone she'd lost, as a way to fight for what they'd believed in, and keep that belief alive.

Or it would be Shiro, who Keith knew to well to be fooled. Who Keith had caught sneaking into Black's hangar multiple times, who so badly wanted back the part of him he'd lost. Keith knew what a paladin bond felt like, and he would've missed it, too.

Hell, he did miss it.

But Shiro was always a better leader. He was someone the others could follow safely, without hesitation, someone they could always trust and rely on. Someone who would protect them.

Keith had been prepared to do his best at that without him around, but now that Shiro was back... Keith didn't trust the job to himself anymore, not with how recklessly he'd led them into danger multiple times. The team was better off in Shiro's hands.

The discussion with Slav had played a pretty big role in Keith's decision, too.

And if not Shiro or Allura, then it'd be Lance. Lance, who had already practically told Keith that he thought himself to be the weakest link. Who was probably just as good of a pilot as him, though Keith would never admit it. Who had a mind for strategy and negotiations, an eye for sharpshooting, and a smile for boosting morale. A natural talent for lightening the load for.... everyone but himself. Even Keith.

Who Keith had to keep safe. Safe meant in a lion, meant protected by Voltron.

Or that's what he'd thought.

Keith let himself into the infirmary, intending to get a bandage for the small injury he'd gotten during a solo intel mission for the Blade. Nothing major, or pod-worthy.

He hadn't expected to see anyone. The team was on an infiltration mission of their own, splitting up to cover a heavily guarded base. They weren't supposed to be back for hours.

Keith knew something was wrong the second he opened the door.

There was noise, voices loud and mixing together so much that he couldn't hear any of what was being said.

Hunk was sitting off to the side with his arms wrapped around himself and staring at the floor, crying. Pidge stood beside him, her face pale as a ghost and eyes wide. They were both trembling.

Keith's eyes searched for the source of the sound. Allura, Shiro, and Matt all stood crowded around something in the middle of the room. Allura was shouting orders at Coran, who appeared to be in the process of prepping a pod. She had her hand on something, and Keith could see pink sparks of energy surrounding her. Altean magic.

Matt looked absolutely panicked as he monitored a screen, shaking his head rapidly and typing as fast as his fingers could go. Shiro had his back turned to Keith, and along with Allura blocked Keith's view of whatever was on the table.

And Keith's blood ran cold.

It's Lance.

He heard the words in Slav's voice, back when he said them what now seemed like ages ago.

And he must've shouted something out loud, but Keith couldn't hear his own voice over the rushing in his ears because no, no, this wasn't happening, this wasn't real, and—

Shiro turned, eyes wide. The entire front of his armor was covered in blood. His hands were pressed to Lance's abdomen, which was the apparent source. Allura had her own hands placed on Lance's chest, still pulsing with energy.

And Lance himself didn't stir, his eyes closed, his face void of any emotion. He looked strangely peaceful, and if it weren't for the blood, Keith could almost have believed he was sleeping.

Desperate to see anything, anyone else at that moment, Keith tore his eyes away.

That's when Keith registered what Matt was looking at. A heart rate monitor.

It was just a straight line. The ongoing beep sounded like a scream, or maybe that was just Keith again. It probably was— his throat felt raw though he couldn't remember ever speaking.

Keith couldn't remember how he ended up on the ground either, but his legs had just given out from under him because the two world shattering facts crashed into him at once.

The person on the table was dead.

And that person was Lance.

Keith was shaking now. There were tears running down his cheeks, but he paid them no mind. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen, Keith wasn't supposed to let it happen at all, but—

He didn't even get to say goodbye.

And Keith couldn't help but blame himself, because he knew. He knew that chances were, Lance would do something stupid, and heroic, and get himself killed.

And he hadn't been enough to save him.

That's when it hit Keith. He hadn't solved anything by leaving. In fact, he'd made it worse. Lance still saw himself as the weak link, but now he thought he was keeping Keith from a lion, too. And he thought that if he were to die, then Red could just go back to her original paladin.

God, he was such an idiot.

And then the line on Matt's screen jumped.

“He's got a pulse!” Shiro shouted. “Get him in a pod!” With Allura's help, this was soon accomplished. Everyone waited with bated breath for a moment while Coran sealed it, checked his vitals, and—

“He's stable. He's going to live.”

And Keith sobbed.

Everyone else had only just seemed to realize that he was there, and he couldn't blame them. The second he saw Lance on that table, Keith's vision tunneled. The image was still there, too, every time he closed his eyes.

He could feel Shiro's hand on his shoulder, hear the comforting words. “It's okay, Keith. He's going to be okay.”

But it wasn't, of course it wasn't. Nothing was okay.

Even if Lance's chest now rose and fell every so often, even if Keith could see his breath fogging up the glass, hear the beeping that signified his heart beat, it almost didn't matter.

Because sitting there, Keith knew that there was a time and space in which Lance had lost just a little more blood, or the shot had hit him just an inch or two higher.

He knew that because of what'd just happened, now there was another reality that Lance McClain wasn't a part of. 

That was a reality that Keith didn't think he could live in.

But when he saw Hunk's happy tears, Pidge's shaky grin, it was impossible not to feel relieved.

Maybe, in an alternate universe, Lance was dead. But not in this universe. In this reality, Keith still got to see those shining blue eyes and that impossibly bright smile every day.

That made all the difference.

What was it Slav had said again? Simply that Lance's chances weren't good.

But Keith had never cared about probable outcomes. He could beat the odds any day of the week— he'd gotten through most of life doing so. And he'd do it to keep Lance safe.

There were other realities, universes, worlds that Keith couldn't control, and... maybe that was okay, as long as he could save everyone in this reality.

Keith figured that was something he could do.

And if not... he'd die trying. He wasn't losing any of his family again.

When Lance's pod opened, Keith was the one there to catch him. “Wha...?”

“You pushed Hunk out of the way,” Keith explained without being asked. “You nearly died.”

Lance's smile was sheepish. “But I didn't?”

Keith sighed, albeit fondly. “No, you didn't. But I can't leave you guys alone for ten minutes apparently, or all hell breaks loose.”

Lance stared at him in confusion for a moment, then looked down, observing Keith's red paladin armor. He grinned, eyes sparkling as he met Keith's gaze. “Does this mean you're staying?”

“Yeah, I'm staying,” Keith said, and the words felt like home. “I'm not going anywhere.”

[thenewbuzwuzz]

Exciting Spuffy WIPs I’m reading

Some people avoid WIPs; I live dangerously. :D This is an incomplete selection of the ones I started reading in October and November, in order of most recently updated. ...I may have gotten a little carried away. 9 fic recs below.

A Better Man - @sunalsolove (WIP). NC-17, 40,534w as of December 3. AO3 link here. Author's summary: More than a year post NFA, Buffy is in self-imposed exile. Her only solace is a robot that looks like the vampire who sacrificed himself in a cave under Sunnydale. Spike is unable to stay away, only he's fighting his own inner battles he doesn't want to burden her with. Impersonating a robot for a few days should be easy, right? Why I squee: because this setup is a perfect hot mess. Angst! Pining!! UST! Resolved ST! Comedy! And Rob the robot is adorable. Future Perfect - Sigyn (WIP). R, 29,924w as of December 3. Author's summary: “I only show the truth,” the creature said. “The truth of the future. How you feel about it is all your own.” “What future?” Buffy demanded. “What are you talking about?” The demon smiled. “You’ll see soon enough.” Why I squee: because this fic is four complete AU short stories and counting. It's all amazingly inventive. And heartbreaking, for the most part, but in new, interesting ways... The Darkling - OffYourBird (WIP). NC-17, 19,021w as of November 28. Author's summary: When Buffy’s quest to get Spike returned to her is granted in an unexpected way, she finds herself in a complicated relationship with an intrigued master vampire who isn’t the man she loves, but who might be someday… if she can convince him to step out of the dark. Why I squee: time travel fun with punk!Spike! Historical New York! Sexy fight "to the death"! Tales From a New Body - OffYourBird (WIP). NC-17, 31,409w as of November 27. Author's summary: Buffy has been getting really good at dying; it's the coming back to life part that keeps throwing her for a loop. Why I squee: because it's delicious in every way and a nice, weird happy place. OffYourBird takes things AU at Once More, With Feeling and then sort of skips all the ugly of s6 and s7 and gives Buffy an extended mental health vacation & a second chance at life and Spike and everything. There is oral communication. Just To Reach You - Sunalso (WIP). R, 10,858w as of November 26. AO3 link here. Author's summary: Post-Series. Spike and Buffy have been a couple for almost two years. The honeymoon is over and together they're discovering they still have a lot to learn about themselves, each other, and how this whole "normal" relationship thing works. Why I squee: because I'm in LGBT representation heaven! It's nuanced and respectful, and the Spuffy interaction is plenty good and complex in its own right. (Look, another story that starts with an established relationship!) I expected to like this story, but it has exceeded my expectations in every way. If the setting makes you cautious, know that the real setting is a lovely Spuffy vacation in Spain. And Fear Finds Nothing Left to Mend - @rahirah (WIP). T, ~2.5K as of November 26. DW link here. Author's summary: Knowing that the Slayer has hard decisions to make is one thing. Being the subject of one is quite another. Why I squee: more Barbverse!!!! It's fluffy and multilayered and ominous as heck. Plus, it's interesting to have a story that so clearly *starts* with a Happily Ever After... a Happily Up to a Point. How You Remind Me - zabjade (WIP). NC-17, 3997w as of November 22. Author's summary: After the events of Hell Bound, Fred calls Buffy, bringing her to L.A. to be reunited with Spike. Once he’s made corporeal, Buffy helps him adjust to having a body again, and to the wants and desires of the flesh. Why I squee: because ghost!Spike can have nice things now! Only 2 chapters in, this fic has already gotten a good and satisfying start on making everything okay again. It's what should have happened. The General's Artifact - myrabeth (WIP). R, 24,002w as of October 28. Author's summary: It's 1999, and Buffy doesn't like what she sees when she gets a look at where she's going. It's 2003, and Buffy is struggling to make peace with where she's been. One team of Scoobies is trying to bridge the gap between them, while the other is trying to understand it. Meanwhile, two versions of Spike are looking for their place in the world, and seem to land on the same answer. A time travel story that begins as a mission to retrieve a memento that didn't seem important until it was too late to save it, and ends up questioning what it means to save something... or someone. Why I squee: there is, from the beginning, approximately NO intention to preserve the set course of events or to pretend that anything is more important than Spuffy, and I find it refreshing. I have no idea what will happen! The Scoobies pretty much just let post-series Buffy loose on season 4 and gave her everything she needs to get creative. *g* Come Up For More - Coraxes (@zeeotheraxe) (WIP). R, 3,596w as of September 16. EF link here. Author's summary: Spike gets the Initiative doctor to cooperate and take his chip out--just in time to realize he's in love with the Slayer. So of course he's got no choice but to stick around, not get staked, seduce the Slayer, play nice with the Scooby Gang, avoid the local hellgod, and try really, really hard not to kill anyone. Shouldn't be too hard, right? Right. Goes AU from "Out of My Mind". Why I squee: THAT PREMISE. That timing. For now, we have wonderful Spike&Dawn interaction with Dawn essentially giving soulless Spike relationship advice.

[brigdh]

Reading Wednesday

Barbary Station by R.E. Stearns. Adda and Iridian are two engineers newly out of university and in love; Adda specializes in Artificial Intelligences while Iridian is an army vet who does mechanical engineering. Unfortunately in the capitalist dystopia of the future, they're both saddled with enormous student debt and see their only future as signing draconian job contracts that will force them to live on separate planets. So instead they decide to join the galaxy's foremost pirate crew! :D However, when they reach Barbary Station – the nickname of the abandoned space station the ungendered pirate Captain Sloane has taken over – they find out that matters are more complicated than they appear. Namely, the station is controlled by a murderous AI security program determined to kill all "invaders" (ie, the pirates), and there's no way for anyone to escape or for help from the outside to arrive. The pirates, in fact, have been stuck there for the last two years (long enough for a few kids to have been born) and have deliberately lured Adda there without warning in the hopes that she knows enough about AIs to provide a solution. If she can do so, she and Iridian might just escape with their lives and be given the chance to join the pirate crew. Complicating matters is the fact that most of the pirates fought on the opposite side of the recent war than Iridian did, and some of them might just hold enough of a grudge to secretly kill one or both of our main characters. So that's the plot. As for my opinion on it.... Argh, I have such mixed feelings about this book. On the one hand: lesbian space pirates of color! INCREDIBLE! And there are some genuinely fantastic bits of worldbuilding. One of my favorites was the notion that people living on a space station don't use terms like north and south or starboard and port, but rather lockside (ie, towards the airlock, towards the outside) and homeward (the opposite, deeper into the station). I loved that everyone in the pirate crew had to justify how much atmo (a slang term combining oxygen, pressure, heat, gravity, and all the other stuff it takes to keep a human alive in space) they used; anyone who cost more than they brought in was likely to get booted. "The cold and the black" is a common substitute for saying "space", which is deliciously eerie. On the other hand... there are a lot of problems. The worldbuilding is incredibly complicated and prone to being conveyed in confusing infodumps. As a random example: "The forty ticks shuttle to and from the hub has never been hit before.” Signs in the docking bay below the base put the pirates twenty-three ticks from the docking bay which served as station north at 100/0. That was the point where the increments that divided the station into one hundred virtual cross-level slices started over at one. The shuttle was closer to forty-six ticks, over a third docking bay, if the symmetric modular layout continued all the way around the station. Ring station points of reference were much easier to follow with a mobile map. A more helpful station AI would’ve been nice too. “The shuttle’s a blind spot,” said Si Po. WHAT. I cannot turn that into an image in my head despite reading it four times now. Indeed, after finishing the whole book, I still have no idea of the details of the often-referenced past war or any coherent sense of what the station or the pirate's hull base looks like; there are all sorts of plot twists hinging on the difference between a regular AI, a zombie AI, and an awakened AI, whatever the hell those are. This bewilderment is not helped by the fact that the book seems to have needed one more editing pass; occasional dropped words or repeated words make things even more confusing. (And I bought a physical copy, so it's not just an ebook's miscoding!) For example: Her armor’s O2 reservoir had enough empty space for the portable tank’s remaining contents. When she connected the O2 tank to her suit, her HUD reported that the suit reservoir had enough empty space for the portable tank’s remaining contents. To be fair, this example is by far the worst in the book. I didn't notice a whole sentence repeated anywhere else. Adda and Iridian are an established relationship at the beginning of the book, which should be fine – I'm actually a huge fan of established relationships and wish they were more common in fiction! Their romance is extremely healthy and conflict-free. That's nice and all, but it unfortunately doesn't make for intriguing reading. Nothing changes between them over the course of the whole book because there's nothing to improve on from what's already there. The closest thing to a plot in their relationship is that Iridian wants to propose to Adda, but can't find a good moment to do so. That is not exactly page-turning suspense. You can totally write healthy, established relationships that have exciting plots, but Adda and Iridian have no tension, no worry, no angst, no drama, no longing, no victory between them – nothing to make me care about them as characters or as a couple. In addition, the explanation behind Adda and Iridian's decision to become space pirates never convinced me. I mean, student loan debt sucks, but we've got plenty of it in the US today and roving bands of pirates have not yet appeared. As Iridian puts it at one point, They’d sacrificed all the money they had, their clean criminal records, their academic connections, hell, maybe even their Near Earth Union citizenship, for this. Not to mention risking their lives. I need to believe they would give all that up, and they're just not given enough of a reason. They also seem weirdly disconnected from the reality of being pirates; they both reiterate at multiple points that they don't believe in murder, and Adda even gets upset at seeing a minor character beaten up. I can enjoy the Disneyfied version of piracy myself, but it's a moral dissonance that's hard to sustain for an entire adult novel that's taking itself seriously. What does piracy even mean to Adda and Iridian if it apparently involves nothing immoral? So, in conclusion... I have no idea. There are amazing parts to Barbary Station, there are dumb parts, there are ill-thought out parts. Do I recommend it? Eh, who knows. Overall I'm glad I read it rather than skipping it, but it could have been a great deal better than it is. The Birds at My Table: Why We Feed Wild Birds and Why It Matters by Darryl Jones. A nonfiction book about the science and research behind those little feeders many of us hang up in our backyards or apartment fire escapes. From the cover and blurb, I'd expected a light, breezy read, but The Birds at My Table is instead a quite academic review of the various studies that have analyzed how and why humans feed birds, the effect of all this free seed on the birds themselves, and the history of bird-feeding as an organized hobby and (these days) enormous commercial industry. Sometimes academic to the book's detriment, to be honest; I was looking forward to funny anecdotes more than I was to analyses of the calcium/phosphorus ratios in seed mixes or the effect of adding Vitamin E to fat-heavy supplementary foods. Still, there's lot of interesting factoids to be found here. Did you know that bird-feeding is hugely controversial in Australia, with many wildlife organizations recommending against it? Or that many Australians who feed their backyard birds anyway do so with meat instead of seed? I was also fascinated to learn that one potential cause of the passenger pigeon's extinction may have been trichomoniasis, a disease commonly carried by the non-native pigeon of city streets, and which may have been passed across species by their coming into close contact at feeders. Overall a good book if you're interested in the topic of feeding birds, but only if you're prepared for a rigorous dive into the current scientific research. I read this as an ARC via NetGalley.

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