#We all have unfair standards when it comes to ourselves. Artists are especially guilty of this.

[chiscribbs]

If it’s any comfort to you, don’t forget that you yourself are an inspiration to other artists. What you are unsatisfied with is something someone else aspires to be like 💕

Thank you, I appreciate the kind words 💕

And I do know this, I honestly do! It's such an honor whenever someone tells me that they admire my work, it truly makes my day! :>

I don't want this to be taken as, like, me saying "my work sucks and I'm a terrible artist." That's a slap in the face to anybody that's ever told me otherwise, and I don't think it's true.

The fact of the matter is everybody suffers with feelings of inadequacy in their work from time-to-time. It doesn't matter how many followers you have or how successful you are - it's just human nature to think the grass is greener on the other side. It's not a reflection on my abilities, objectively speaking, it's just...feelings making things difficult.

And you know what? I'm sure the people that I compare myself to have people that they feel inferior to as well. It's a vicious cycle, but I deal with it in the best way I know how - with a little bit of discipline and a whole lot of prayer.

[grandpageepa]

Playing games

The life lessons I’ve learned include - 

1) Don’t let anyone kill your dreams - you can stick up for your inner child 

2) No one knows you better than you do, they can give you perspective but they can not give you a personality 

3) Trust yourself, check yourself, make sure but at the end of the day, know yourself 

4) There is no progress without struggle 

5) Even when things are stagnant, keep going and make it something new 

6) Give yourself something to smile about, something to think about when times get dark

7) Value yourself more than the money you have to your name. Money comes and goes. Know that money is necessary for survival and it is a currency for the work you have put in but also know it is not you, you are not a dollar sign. 

8) Don’t be afraid to not get what you want and don’t be afraid to get what you want. 

9) Life is short and we forget that everything we have is temporary. We including myself should refresh ourselves to appreciate instead of dwelling on the past or what people are doing. It is our response and our own self talk that really resonates with us in the long term. How we handled the situation will continue to be carried on our backs. We can not control everything as much as we would like. We have to keep an open mind for things to change sporadically as life is not preplanned and we must learn to take control of our emotions and of our emotional state. 

10) Think about it. Remove your worldly possessions, who are you and are you happy with the person you have to live with and look in the mirror everyday? When no one is watching, who are you? When you have no one to talk to about the struggles of being human, who are you? 

11) Not everything that works for you will work for someone else in exactly the same way. People have different expectations and views of the world. 

12) Hold yourself to the standards that you can admire. Let yourself do the work that you love to do without first appeasing to others that don’t know what your standards look like. I ask myself, am I happy with this? If not, I do it over or I do it until I’m good with it. You know and no one can know it for you. Don’t look for validation without asking yourself, if you put in the research and the work, why would someone who hasn’t know better than you? I’m all about gathering information from those that live that life, but if they don’t... someone’s opinion shouldn’t overshadow your own voice. Your voice belongs to you and it is up to you where you want to put it. 

Lastly, know that you are not your career title. I am not an ecommerce manager, although I am but I am so much more. Don’t be afraid to invest in yourself. 

I wrote these life lessons because I feel like these are some of the demons that I am bringing to the surface. I am guilty of seeking validation for my craft and I let it eat away at me until I can no longer focus but guess what, it hasn’t killed me and it’s made me stronger. I still keep it moving through my worst days and for once in my life, I feel like I am sticking up for myself and it feels like the boulder that was crushing the weight of my body has been lifted and I feel as though, I can go on. 

Since this blog is geared towards pet nutrition and jewelry crafting. I will touch on that a bit. For the past 2 days, I have been in the kitchen making a 27 day supply for each animal that I currently live with. I ordered a 45 lb case of chicken thighs even though I do not eat meat myself. This proved to be very challenging considering the amount of space that I no longer have in the freezer. I had to order a huge volume because the butcher usually does not have the product in stock and I get it before hand in order to make sure that I am able to provide my pets with the freshest chicken possible. I had a disagreement with the owner as he charged me per lb last time at a rate of $1.69 and this time he rose the price to $2.37 with no notice and kept insisting that he did not know the price until I came in and paid for it. I had several issues with this because there is a wholesale price on the PO and the wholesale price should be less than the retail price. This is the only way it makes sense. He let me know that the prices went up and I didn’t appreciate the inconsistences due to the fact that I was taking a case off his hands in a matter of minutes and every month I look to purchase 30+ lbs. I think that this owner is doing bad business and isn’t looking to procure that relationship between customer and business which is detrimental to the way that business should be conducted. It wasn’t about the money, it was that he left so much in the dark so that he could essentially add whatever profit he thought was fitting. I asked if he could do a better price on it and he took off 2 dollars which made no difference really, it was less than 2 dollars. I usually tip the front cashier 3 or 4 bucks just to bring the products to the counter. I don’t care for $2 in savings, I care about the integrity of the way that you choose to conduct business. At the higher rate, it is still affordable and reasonable but it is just that I wasn’t able to get a straight answer until I had to question why it was so inconsistent from the previous times that I’ve come in the store. Also, they told me that they could hold the stock for me in their freezer which would have made more sense to tack on more money as it provides less space for your other products and is especially for my own stock being held at their warehouse. I did not choose to do this and also, their very own catalog boasts that with a purchase over $120, you get about 15-20lbs of free product which I didn’t get anything. Overall, it’s not about the money. It’s about the way that people are conducting business as if you have never dabbled in business ever in your life. I feel this was an unfair assumption. Needless to say, I was super frustrated and going forward, could not support a business that is in the business for being inconsistent and took such a strong stance on being as such as it held little value that I was coming to the store on a regular basis to get the products I needed. 

Moving on - Jewelry! 

The one design that I worked on morphed into 3 designs and I have restocked the materials needed for this projects as I plan to use some of the chain I have to marry other gemstones that are well suited for the material. I have also randomly made other designs and will continue to do so and will see what the feedback is on that. I am looking to have the morphed design adjustable even though the curb chain cost about 5x as much but I would need to use way less of it. Instead of purchasing sterling drop charms to add as ornament for my finished pieces, I have decided to use steel instead as steel is a fabulous metal and it is a hollow piece so it does not weigh down the weight of the bracelet. I am a bit hesitant to go into full detail about my design work as my designs have been copied by someone unnamed as soon as I introduced it to them and it made me weary of people stealing designs and calling it their own. I take being an artist pretty seriously as I make up challenges for myself to release this creativity. I can see if something inspires you but if you copy something down to the nitty gritty, it is very distasteful and disrespectful.  Due to this, I have actually gone through some lengths to be very difficult to replicate. This is more so the reason that I defend brands because there will always be someone looking for you to do the work and then they will simply go ahead and recreate it as their own. This happens a lot in ecommerce, it is something that I do not take lightly and have chased businesses down tooth and nail for. Well, pretty much I have some work to do and I will communicate through this outlet at another time.

Thanks for reading this and I hope that it helps because it’s helped me,...free therapy. 

[neglectkills]

Neglect In The Spotlight: What the Framing Britney Spears Documentary tells us about the Right Way & The Wrong Way to Help Someone You Care About

The recent New York Times documentary, “Framing Britney Spears;” is notable for bringing attention to the issue of Conservatorship Abuse by highlighting the legal and personal battles of superstar and pop icon Britney Spears; whose recent battle against her father for legal/medical/ and financial conservatship of her body, mind, Art, and estate, has recently taken center stage; thanks to many of the star’s sometimes overzealous fans who have taken a personal interest in their favorite pop idol’s personal affairs.

For those of us who grew up with the Pop Icon, her massive stardom and (frankly justified) public meltdowns shaped our view not only of the Artist Britney Spears, but also of celebrity itself. That’s why it’s not surprising that the “Free Britney” movement (a movement that believes that Britney Spears should have sole control over her conservatship, so that she can manage her own financial and personal affairs) is so popular with people in their twenties and thirties, people who like me, who grew up during the days of tabloid celebrity culture; and believe that Britney got a bum break by being dragged through the mud by ex boyfriends, the press, and the tabloids; simply for being a woman who was not only talented, beautiful, and sexy but also absurdly famous.

To watch, in retrospect, how horrifically this young woman was treated simply for being outstanding amongst her peers; is disturbing, to say the least... But is also seared into our collective minds as part of her superstardom. We see the paparazzi tabloid culture of the early 2000’s as part of the myth and mystery of this particular celebrity’s story, as well as an intrical part of celebrity itself. We, as society, see it as a trade off: They build you up just to break you down, but that’s the price of being rich and famous. You could argue that the same thing happened to stars as diverse as Marilyn Monroe to Shelley Duvall; and the press does seem particularly cruel to female stars who have lost their “shimmer,” either by reality or perception.

Feminist journalists and philosophers have pointed out that Britney’s story, in some ways, is a common to the female experience; women who are successful and powerful, and seemingly in control of their sexuality; tend to attract the judgement of society; as well as the disdain of men, and the jealousy of other women. The virgin/whore complex, or paradigm; won’t allow such women to be virgins and seductresses, mothers and businesswomen, performers and emotional Artists with something to say. What Britney, like so many other women is most guilty of... Is just trying to live her life; in spite of the unfair judgements, criticism, envy, jealousy, and disdain of others.

That’s why I think the documentary does a good job of holding the press accountable for its smear-campaign against its number one teen pop starlet. It does a great job of holding society responsible for the many sexist double-standards that we hold male and female celebrities apart; and I think it does a decent job of illustrating the genuine concern that many Britney Spears fans have for their favorite female artist.

Where I think the documentary falters, though, is its framing of the “#FreeBritney” movement as being entirely benign, benevolent, and helpful. Though I’m sure many of the people featured in the documentary genuinely care about Miss Spears’ health, happiness, and welfare; and believe that they are genuinely fighting for the rights of someone who is highly competent and capable; there are still others who have used evidence of Britney Spears’ past mental health struggles, nearly a decade ago, as evidence to the contrary.

While no one can ever know or understand the very personal and private struggles, feelings, or thoughts of someone else. Especially someone whose life experiences are as exceptional as Britney Spears’, I would argue that many both inside and outside of the #FreeBritney movement, are currently doing more harm than good.

The backlash of the documentary isn’t that more people are seeing Britney Spears as a competent grown woman who capable of taking care of her own affairs... But rather there are many who are using the documentary to push the once popular perception that there’s something so wrong with the star’s mental health, because of the seemingly stress-induced nervous breakdown she had in her twenties, that it justifies why she was placed in a conservatship in the first place.

If we can use our empathy and compassion to put ourselves into her shoes for a moment: How would you like complete strangers asking you if you’re “ok?” How would you like people on YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram commenting that they are “concerned” for your mental health?

To anyone of us that has been the victim of a Narcissistic smear-campaign; we can understand her pain on a smaller-scale, but not on the world-scale on which she finds herself. To anyone who has battled trauma or depression; or faced other mental health struggles, themselves; we know for a fact this is not the right way to advocate for someone who might be struggling; and yet casual disdain and disregard for “tabloid celebrities” feelings, is something we’ve all grown far too comfortable with and accustomed too.

I personally think that Britney Spears learned how to silence the “haters” a long time ago... She probably knows that a certain amount of criticism or speculation is the price she paid of fame... But at the same time, no matter how rich and famous someone is; it can’t completely block out such outrageous speculation. No amount of fame can silence thoughts that everyone thinks you’re “crazy” just because your whole life is out there for the world to see; and no amount of money can block out feelings of being isolated or misunderstood. Especially when those feelings are coming from your so-called “fans” and “supporters.”

Those of us who were initially concerned for her conservatship situation are now concerned that this speculation about the Star’s health is only piling onto an image of “instability” that she has been trying to shake off since she was in her twenties.

Just a quick look at Britney’s Instagram can tell you how many people are only interested in the spectacle of concern, of feigning concern, rather than showing actual concern.

The documentary opens and closes with a good argument: The Britney Spears Conservatship is unfair, because she is has proven herself to be healthy and highly competent. It also makes a fair argument that Spears’ father, Jaime Spears, and several other members of the stars family (including lawyers and doctors hired by allegedly abusive family members) don’t have the star’s best interests at heart. I think that, in many ways, even beyond the documentary... is obvious.

The truth is, none of us know what Britney Spears’ personal financial, medical, or mental health situation really is; and that’s why none of us can speculate as to whether or not she’s competent enough to handle her own affairs. Our speculation is just that speculation; we know that she might not be in an ideal situation, but it’s not for us to judge what an ideal situation would be. The world we know, the image we perceive of her, as she so eloquently put in one of her Instagram posts; is just on the other side of the camera’s lens. But does that make us powerless to help someone who we perceive as being potentially medically neglected or financially abused? I’d say the answer is no.

The way we help people like Britney Spears, and people in the same kind of situation that the Britney Spears documentary depicts, isn’t by speculating about their competency or mental health; but creating safe spaces in which they can tell their own stories.

We advocate for others by creating the conditions in which they can advocate for themselves; and we write articles and essays like this, with the hope that the messages of self-advocacy and support will spread far and wide enough that they will find themselves into the Star’s private circle. So that those closest to the victim/survivor, can help support her, and advocate for what’s best for their loved one.

I know it makes me a hypocrite to pile on like this, because it does sound like I’m also offering my two-cents about what’s best for Britney, someone I’ve never even met, or could ever hope to meet... But the fact is this issue affects me personally because I had to advocate, in the past, for a loved one who was in the same kind of situation that the Britney Spears documentary depicts. My loved one was being financially abused and medically neglected, and I had to legally intervene; in order to make sure my loved one was both receiving proper medical care and control of their own finances. I’ve also had friends who were in similar situations, who died due to medical neglect, after being placed on the wrong psychiatric medications.

Therefore, I understand both as an advocate and as a victim; the harm of neglect and abuse. Neglect, in particular, can be as subtle as pretending to advocate for a victim’s health and best interests; but giving them either the wrong medication, the wrong dosage, or even the wrong diagnosis. This is particularly common in women, as women are likely to be diagnosed with mood disorders that require medication. Therefore, if Britney Spears is experiencing some kind of medical abuse or neglect, then that can be very dangerous.

It’s only because I have some experience in this field, as a nurse and as a family member of someone who was in a similar situation, that I feel comfortable offering any comment at all; but I’m humble enough to understand that I know absolutely nothing about Britney Spears’ personal situation, from the outside looking in.

I believe the best way to advocate for any and all victims of abuse and neglect is simply to give them the freedom and space to tell their own stories, so that they can be their own best advocates, that’s how we can #FreeBritneySpears and many others. Not by assuming we know what’s best for them, based on our own limited experiences; but by giving them the support, dignity, and respect that they deserve and require to make healthy decisions and live their own best lives.

- Neglect Kills