#Wayne Bierbaum

[ulkaralakbarova]

For decades, next-door neighbors and former friends John and Max have feuded, trading insults and wicked pranks. When an attractive widow moves in nearby, their bad blood erupts into a high-stakes rivalry full of naughty jokes and adolescent hijinks. Credits: TheMovieDb. Film Cast: John Gustafson: Jack Lemmon Max Goldman: Walter Matthau Ariel Truax: Ann-Margret Grandpa Gustafson: Burgess Meredith Melanie: Daryl Hannah Jacob Goldman: Kevin Pollak Chuck: Ossie Davis Snyder: Buck Henry Mike: Christopher McDonald Moving Man: John Carroll Lynch Weatherman: Steve Cochran Pharmacist: Joe Howard Nurse: Isabell O’Connor Fisherman: Charles Brin Fisherman: Oliver Osterberg Film Crew: Director: Donald Petrie Original Music Composer: Alan Silvestri Producer: Richard C. Berman Editor: Bonnie Koehler Director of Photography: Johnny E. Jensen Art Direction: Mark Haack Special Effects Coordinator: Peter Albiez Chief Lighting Technician: Patrick Marshall Key Costumer: Trina Mrnak Location Manager: Cat Thompson Sound Re-Recording Mixer: Rick Hart Foley: Ellen Heuer Dialogue Editor: Vic Radulich Special Effects Supervisor: Greg C. Jensen Musician: Tom Boyd Associate Producer: Kathy Sarreal Casting: Sharon Howard-Field Second Assistant Director: Molly Muir Leadman: Chris Gibbin Boom Operator: Mark Steinbeck Dialogue Editor: Mike Szakmeister Stunts: Bill McIntosh First Assistant Camera: Jimmy E. Jensen Costume Supervisor: Keith G. Lewis Music Editor: Andrew Silver Production Accountant: Kim Bodner Administration: Peter L. Mullin Costume Design: Lisa Jensen Dialogue Editor: Christopher Assells ADR Editor: Linda Folk Additional Sound Re-Recording Mixer: Kim Waugh Stunts: Spiro Razatos Title Designer: Wayne Fitzgerald First Assistant Director: Douglas E. Wise Sound Re-Recording Mixer: Tom E. Dahl Second Unit: Rosalie Seifert Orchestrator: William Ross Administration: Gregory J. Niska Set Decoration: Clay A. Griffith Makeup Artist: Linda Melazzo First Assistant Director: Randy Suhr Foley: Kevin Bartnof ADR Supervisor: Jessica Gallavan Foley Editor: Eric Gotthelf Sound Recordist: David Behle Best Boy Electrician: Hugh Langtry Assistant Editor: Trudy Yee Construction Foreman: Blaine Marcou Special Effects: Shelly Hawkos Administration: Tom Sann Hairstylist: Linda Rizzuto Key Makeup Artist: Rick Sharp Assistant Property Master: Jerry Swift Sound Re-Recording Mixer: Robert J. Litt Stunt Coordinator: Ernie F. Orsatti Chief Lighting Technician: Pat Blymyer Scoring Mixer: Dennis S. Sands Production Accountant: Susan Montgomery Executive Producer: Dan Kolsrud Property Master: Jim Zemansky Stunts: Ray Lykins First Assistant Camera: Christopher M. Fisher Unit Publicist: Michael Singer Associate Producer: Darlene K. Chan Researcher: Aryn Chapman Sound Effects Editor: Randy Kelley Supervising Sound Effects Editor: Mark P. Stoeckinger Still Photographer: Ron Phillips Construction Coordinator: Douglas Dick Sound Re-Recording Mixer: Wayne Heitman Foley Editor: Patrick N. Sellers First Assistant Editor: Adam C. Frank Color Timer: Dale E. Grahn Supervising Music Editor: Kenneth Karman Dialogue Editor: Chris Hogan Camera Operator: Dick Colean Assistant Costume Designer: Elizabeth Shelton Location Manager: Dave Halls ADR & Dubbing: Thomas J. O’Connell Key Grip: Richard Moran Key Costumer: Hala Bahmet Administration: Lisa D. Menke Hairstylist: Linda De Andrea Assistant Art Director: Jack E. Pelissier Jr. Assistant Sound Editor: Cybele O’Brien Sound Re-Recording Mixer: Elliot Tyson Assistant Sound Editor: Victor Ray Ennis Production Sound Mixer: Russell C. Fager Rigging Gaffer: Tim Marshall Negative Cutter: Donah Bassett Script Supervisor: Susan Bierbaum ADR & Dubbing: Rick Canelli Special Effects: Keane Bonath Associate Editor: Steve Schoenberg Production Design: David Chapman Producer: John Davis Writer: Mark Steven Johnson Movie Reviews: John Chard: Do me a favour. Put your lip over your head… and swallow. Grumpy Old Men is directed by Donald Petrie and written by Mark Steven Johnson. It stars Walter Matthau, Jack Lemmon, Ann-Margret, Kevin Polla...

[thatsastepladder]

Jim Shooter comes to mind. Guy was 12 or 13, reading Legion of Super-Heroes, said "I could do better", wrote his own scripts and sent them in to DC. To DC's credit, they looked at them and said "these are pretty good, actually. You want a job, kid?" and the rest was history.

What we have now isn't Jim Shooter - heck, it's not even the Bierbaums, who were big-name Legion fans who got to write the Five Years Later Legion in the 1990s and made some very questionable decisions. (What they did to Dawnstar was a travesty.) It's the equivalent of someone only knowing the Legion from half-remembered fanfics based on the 2000s cartoon series that were mostly shipping Brainy/Clark, and then getting the job writing Legion.

(Although, I will point out that the problem doesn't entirely rest on the shoulders of writers - editorial's been asleep on the job for a while now. Both Marvel and DC need a fresh crop of editors who actually care about small things like internal consistency.)

Anyway, here's my attempt at writing this in the style of a real DC solicit for kicks and giggles:

ROBINS #1 (of 4) Written by TOM TAYLOR Art and cover by SIMONE DI MEO Variant cover by CLIFF CHIANG Variant cover by ART BALTAZAR $4.99 32 Pages ON SALE 5/21/2024 Eisner-award winning writer Tom Taylor (NIGHTWING, TITANS) and rising star artist Simone Di Meo (BATMAN AND ROBIN, DC VS. VAMPIRES) team up to bring you a brand new story of sibling rivalry! Wits (and swords) clash when Tim Drake and Damian Wayne infiltrate the Lexcorp gala undercover. Will they make it through the night alive, or will Damian's temper get the best of them?

[lyatheo]

© Wayne Bierbaum ~ A wave crashing into the wind, 2013

[sitting-on-me-bum]

Diamondback Terrapin by Wayne Bierbaum Via Flickr: The Diamondback Terrapin is a brackish water turtle. It still is being hunted for sale in the Far East. Besides hunting and drowning in crab pots, the turtles nesting areas are being destroyed. Locally, the population is at a low level. In the creek near my home, the sandy shores once permitted great nesting areas for the turtles. However, the creek was opened up for skiing and worse wake-boarding. This caused rapid erosion of the banks. The end result was stone rip-rap and seawalls. The beaches have gone and I haven't seen a terrapin there for eight years. On my creek canoe trips, I used to see as many as thirty. 

[sebeth]

Legion of Super-Heroes #6

Warning, Spoilers Ahead…

Legion of Super-Heroes #6 by Keith Giffen, Tom & Mary Bierbaum, and Al Gordon.

The St. Talbot’s Club, Geneva, Earth: Dirk Morgna meets with Celeste Rockfish, a private investigator. Dirk notes that Circe investigated a paternity suit against him in the previous year.  Dirk hires Celeste to track Roxxas: “As you know, Earthgov wants that butcher Roxxas bad.  I want him bad.  Blok was my teammate.  My friend.”

A Dominator informs Circe that Celeste’s “…investigation must divert all suspicion.  Since the Daily Planet linked Roxxas’s account to Earthgov, we are all vulnerable.”

Circe assures the Dominator “Celeste will conduct a full investigation that’ll reveal nothing.  And if she does find something, she’ll end up too dead to tell anyone.”

Circe fumes to herself: “I’m damn tired of cleaning up after those bumbling goons.  Time to get on to something that matters…like Morgana’s precious little Shvaughn Erin.  He’ll learn not to jelly every time he runs into a sympathizer with a pretty complexion. Damn him, anyway!  Never took me to the St. Talbot’s Club!”

Circe, so jealous!

Tharn: Mordru rants to his probe droid: “Do they come to thank me? Do they come to congratulate me for saving the universe from the Khund menace? Do they come to apologize for all their past affronts? It would never enter their minds! As always, they come to take something that is mine! They come to take her by force when she is staying of her own free will! What sort of universe do we live in?”

Mordru summons Vrykos for a consultation.

The Legionnaires (Rokk, Jo, Reep, Kono) are relaxing before their meeting with Mordru.  

Kono’s bored: “How’s a fem supposed to get into any trouble in a dull, stupid burg like this?”

Reep’s worried about Kono’s shenanigans: “You talk me into bringing along a Sklarian raider and then you turn her loose on this unsuspecting planet?”

Jo’s amused over Kono’s shenanigans and Reep’s freak-out.

Rokk’s contemplating the numerous ways this will blow up in their faces.

The boys discuss strategy.

Rokk: “What are we going to do about Mordru? You know he’s not going to just hand her over.”

Reep: “I wouldn’t be so sure about that, Rokk.  Once I turn on the old Daggle family charm, he won’t know what hit him!  I’ve negotiated against tougher, believe me.”

Jo: “So you just waltz in there and ask him? You’re playing him for a sucker, Cham. Mordru is no sucker.”

Rokk: “If he doesn’t agree, then we do what we came to do…we attack.”

Reep’s negotiation ploy is bound to fail because Mordru is completely insane.  

Rokk’s “attack option” won’t fare much better: Rokk has no powers, Reep’s may not be effective against Mordru, Kono’s powerful but a newbie.  Furball is an unknown. Jo is the only powerhouse veteran on the team.

The Legionnaires are blasted with mystical energy and forced to re-live the worst moments of their past.

Kono recalls when the Science Police boarded the Golden Lady. A five-year old Kono witnessed the multiple rapes and murders of the Sklarian women.  

Kono: “Mama! If I’m not there to save her…Oh, Goddesses!  Don’t you animals – Don’t! I can’t control my powers yet! My powers will kill! Please don’t. No! No! Oh, Goddesses, no!”

Reep remembers his duel with Liggt: “This is…the Bridge of Passage! On Durla! But I won my tribal rights years ago. I survived my duel! What am I doing back here? Who’s challenging me again? No! Liggt! My brother! But you’re dead! I…I…I killed you��” Liggt! I didn’t know any better! We were a bunch of ignorant savages! Please listen to me! The ancient ways are foolish! Barbaric! Liggt! Please listen to me! Nobody has to die!”

Jo discovers he is inside a space dragon: “Bloody Grife!  The Space Dragon!  Sweet Liberty, Jo, you’ve been swallowed by the space dragon!  B – But…I was in a speeder!  Something’s wrong! It wasn’t like this!

Jo stumbles through the Space Dragon and discovers Tinya’s body.

Rokk finds himself at the Venado Bay massacre.  He sees the corpse of Pol, his younger brother: “Oh, God…Oh, God…got to report…must find command base…horrible Imskian weapon…massive casualties…can still aid survivors…got to report…C’mon, Rokk…focus now…must report…must keep going…command must know…troops stationed at Venado Bay decimated…massive casualties…command must – Pol!  Oh God, Pol! My own brother!  It…It can’t be!  Of course not…stupid Mordru…They didn’t kill Magnetic Kid at Venado Bay – they killed Cosmic Boy!  You hear me, Mordru?!  They killed Cosmic Boy!  You went too fat this time, Mordru!  You went too far!”

The next flashback takes place in a medical lab.  A nurse assures an unseen patient: “…That’s it…easy now…no, no there are no androids in the facility…doctor will be here soon…Sedatives seemed to be working fine!...No, no…assure you that wasn’t an android…no androids in the facility…”

Dr. Gym’ll and another doctor arrive to examine the patient: “…radiation he took at Black Dawn…irreversible damage…” “Harrumph!...All Damage reversible!  Just haven’t looked hard enough for a way!”

The nurse reassures the patient: “…was an android, but just visiting…no androids in the facility…”

Another doctor examines the patient: “…so, let’s have a look…oh, dear…hasn’t been quite this severe…I’m afraid we’d better contact his colleagues…they should know…deterioration of Brin Londo has reached severe proportions…hard to believe that used to be Timber Wolf.”

A few notes on the flashbacks:

1)      Poor Kono!  The Golden Lady incident would have definitely re-enforced Kono’s disdain and suspicion of men.  We’re led to assume Kono unleashed her powers and people died as a result – way too much trauma for a five-year old!

2)      Reep’s killing of his brother – How do you even recover from this?  It had to be the reason for Reep’s desire to leave the planet and his culture in the past.  So barbaric.

3)      Jo – Finding yourself swallowed alive by a creature would be terrifying.  Jo’s reaction seems to be more along the lines of “again?” than actual fear.  I’d love to see a flashback to the original incident. I want to see Jo’s reaction when it happens and he doesn’t have the knowledge that he’ll gain powers.  Would this flashback have even had any effect on Jo if Tinya was still alive?

4)      Rokk – We get a brief glimpse of the Venado Bay event.  Both Rokk and Salu are suffering from PTSD in the aftermath of the massacre. Pol’s death had to destroy Rokk. Rokk retired as a Legionnaire during the Levitz run and Pol (the Magnetic Kid) joined the Legion around the same time. Pol later sacrificed himself to help stop the Magic Wars – possibly trying to live up to his big brother’s legacy?  Rokk had to have the same thought.  I’m surprised Rokk didn’t discover his mother’s corpse too.  Rokk’s parents, and a young Pol, moved to Earth shortly after the Legion debuted. Rokk’s mother later died during a terror bombing on earth.  Rokk’s father and Pol were severely injured during the attack.  Another source of guilt for Rokk.

5)      Brin – The Black Dawn incident transformed Timber Wolf into Furrball.  The “no androids” comments are a reference to Brin’s origin.  He believed himself to be an android when he first debuted.  This is the first time Brin’s been shown to be wary around androids.  It’s a nice bit of foreshadowing for the identity reveal at the end of the page.

The Pleasure Gardens, Palace of Mordru:  The Harem complains to Mysa: “It just isn’t fair!  He always shares with you!  Any of us would be thrilled if Mordru confided in us.”

Mordru’s version of sharing consists of mind-linking Mysa with the Legionnaire’s memories.

Mysa isn’t the “White Witch” – She’s lost the white hair, skin, and funky eyebrows.  She still has the all-black eyes but has pink hair.

Chadwick’s, The Most Exclusive Clothier on Korr:  Roxxas shops for the perfect wardrobe and murders the staff of the shop.

Rockfish Detective Agency, Earth: Celeste, embarrassed about her drooling over Dirk, is determined to track Roxxas.  She has one good lead: Trom.  Unfortunately, flights are not allowed to Trom.

Bounty informs Celeste that “The caretaker there…has been known to vaporize all visitors.”

Jan!  He’s not prone to random vaporizations…what changed?

A young man arrives at the front door of the Rockfish Detective Agency.

The intergalactic media heavily reports the murder of Blok, the Chadwick massacre, and Roxxas’ unexplained release from Labyrinth.  The Dominators are melting down over the coverage.  Their solution is to present Celeste McCauley as “Earth’s greatest detective since Wayne”.

Tharn:  Vyrkos is underwhelmed by the Legionnaires.  He orders the group sent to the dungeons “except for Krinn.  The Emperor has taken an interest in him.”

Jezebel, the third moon of Tharn: We see a woman who bears a suspicious resemblance to Supergirl: blonde hair, headband, red cape, blue outfit.  We know it can’t be Kara due to the “no Kryptonian” edict from the Superman office so who is the mysterious woman?

“First Mysa falls under Mordru’s control, then Rond goes in after her and ends up captured himself. Now this…five more of my old teammates at Mordru’s mercy.  If Mordru wasn’t holding all the cards before, he sure is now…all except one…me. And I can’t hold back any longer. Things are getting out of hand. The time for cute little strategies is over.  Time for the direct approach.  Never mind that Mordru has the one power that can threaten me.  Never mind that he’ll snuff out any of their lives at the slightest provocation.  Like it or not, it’s time to roll the dice…and pray for sevens.”

Celeste, Bounty, and Devlin O’Ryan are orbiting Trom courtesy of the Daily Planet.  Celeste believes Jan is the key to capturing Roxxas: “His whole race was killed by this madman.  He must know Roxxas inside and out…or at least want to help us track him down.”

Celeste watches a United Planets video on Trom: “The beautiful star-crossed world of Trom. One of the Gandian worlds, Trom is marked by belts of inhospitable radiation.  Hearty sentry settlers discovered Trom’s unique radiation was imbuing them with the power to transmute the elements.  Aided by those powers, they built a beautiful, deeply spiritual civilization…one that was quickly, suddenly, brought down in ruins when the people refused to submit a ruthless band of space pirates.  The notorious Roxxas had dreamed of using the Trommites’ power to amass great wealth.  When they refused, he annihilated the race.  One Trommite survived the massacre: Jan Arrah, Legionnaire Element Lad. Today the planet lies silent and desolate, its millions of beautiful Tsarin crystals marking the spot where each victim fell.  And the solitary figure of Jan Arrah, once a hero to galaxies, now quietly keeps watch over this eerie cemetery world.”

How did Roxxas annihilate the entire race?  Extremely powerful bombs?  Roxxas forewarned the planet with the “join me or else” gambit.  Trommites are extremely powerful – it boggles my mind that only Jan survived the massacre.  Were the Trommites so spiritual that they were unwilling to defend themselves?  Jan, by himself, neutralized the entire Daxamite race during the Great Darkness Saga.  How did Roxxas massacre the entire race? Where was Jan during the massacre? Did he survive by using his powers to defend himself?  

Celeste, Bounty, and Devlin, encased in transsuits, search for Jan on Trom.

Devlin admires the Tsarin crystals: “Saints above, these crystals are beautiful! Do ya realize what each of these is worth?”

Celeste freaks out: “Devlin – don’t touch it!  He’ll vaporize us all!”

Jan interrupts the duo: “So now I’m vaporizing trespassers, am I?  Sorry to sneak up on you folks, but most of my visitors are looking to scavenge, you know.  Go ahead and touch the monuments, if you like.  Just don’t take any.  I’m a little sensitive about respect for the dead…on Trom, that’s all we have left.”

The issue ends with “The Great Acquiescence: How Mordru Returned To Power On The Sorcerer’s World” special from UP-V Channel Two that aired on January 17, 2993.

Highlights:

1)      “The story might have ended there, if not for the Mystic Wars and the subsequent collapse of the U.P. economy.  Their home world annihilated and their powers decimated, the Sorcerer’s Community relocated to Tharn and braced themselves for whatever the universe might throw at them. Unfortunately, what the universe threw at that sector of space was the Khunds.  So with the tyranny and atrocities of his previous rule still deeply etched in their scarred memories, the Sorcerers’ Community pinned all their hopes on the wizard who had once ruled them as an utter despot.”

2)      Coronation Day, Planet Tharn, July 6, 1992.

3)      Senator Alturny Ansky: “Madame President, I move that this body act immediately and forcefully to declare our outrage at the actions of the Council of Teachers of the Planet Tharn.”

4)      Dr. Al-Zhay Draveed: “We’re talking about a group that was psychically battered by the destruction of their homeworld and the ravaging of their collective powers during the Mystic Wars.  We’re talking about a proud people, who’d previously felt invulnerable to outside threats, now desperately fearful of Khundish domination and the horrors that could bring.  But we’re not talking about a suicidal people.  It’s critical to remember that they’d attempted to purge Mordru’s soul of its darker aspects, and thought they’d succeeded.  He was by this time a benevolent, placid member of the community. His powers were almost gone, he had fallen in love with Mysa.  There was reason to hope the evil in him had been forever snuffed out.  They knew the corrupting nature of the powers they were returning to him.”

Was Mordru’s soul ever truly “purged” of its darker aspects?  Or was he staying under the radar until he could regain his power? Why would the Council think it was a good idea to restore Mordru’s power?  Wouldn’t the saner choice be to increase Mysa’s power?  She was on Tharn and doesn’t need her morality induced by a magical spell.

“The Last Days of Daxam” by K.J. Weber.

Basically a written recap of the earlier Mon-El issue.

1)      Glorith decimated Daxam.

2)      Mon-El led the Conspiracy and nearly died.

3)      Eltro Gand’s personality was dislodged from Mon-El’s psyche.

4)      Mon-El never died.

We receive a retcon of Mon-El and Shady’s marriage.  Shady no longer wed Mon-El when he was comatose, instead “Gar’s close brush with death seems to have also profoundly affected his relationship with Mallor.  After years of apparently waffling on the issue of marriage, they quickly tied the knot during the recovery period”.  

“And when Gar’s health had returned, Mallor finally convinced him to resign from the Legion and at long last fulfill the dream he’d harbored for more than a thousand years – to explore the far reaches of space.  They said their good-byes shortly before the Great Collapse hit, and were last heard from when they disappeared beyond the range of the Lallorian Colonies, plunging deep beyond the unexplored frontiers.”

“Little is known about the fate of the third great survivor of the 20th century, Dev-Em.  He is known to have lived beyond the destruction of Daxam and has long been linked to the Interstellar Counter-Intelligence Corps, but no information on his whereabouts.”

[kompajunior]

A Bowing Tree Swallow by Wayne Bierbaum on Flickr.