#Was so stressed from work I came home and immediately spat out 1.5k. Now to do asks

[mystxmomo]

Girls. You're traumatized. Get therapy.

[brianandthemays]

Falling Apart (Joe Mazzello x reader)

A/N Back to writing shitty one shots! This is for the lovely anon who messaged me! I hope you like this!

Prompt: he realizes he has fallen out of love with y/n and is terrified of telling you because y/n already built your lives together and have commitments. It's just he doesn't have the heart to pull the plug but it's emotionally draining to avoid it. (((pls hurt me with this like idk joe or ben)))

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PLEASE LIKE AND REBLOG!

Warnings; ANGST, bad writing, ANGST, and ANGST again

Word Count: 1.5k

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It was hard to remember, at this point, when things were real. Joe stared at the pictures on the wall of you and him smiling, sharing a kiss, just being overly domestic with each other. He saw the look in his eye as he stared at you, but he couldn’t feel that same feeling anymore. He wanted to. He wanted to love you, but something had happened along the way. Something had gotten lost in their months apart and he didn’t know if he wanted to find it. 

He plopped himself down on your couch. At the moment, he was home alone, waiting for you to come home. You would come home with a smile and snuggle up into his grasp before ranting on about your day until you both fell into a comfortable silence, enjoying each other’s presence. But it wasn’t comfortable any more. Even you noticed, when things fell silent, the silence was tinged with nervous energy. You tried your best to ignore it, chalking it up to stress from work. 

He glanced over at the picture on the counter next to him. It was your picture from your wedding day. You both looked so happy, and he tried to travel back to that day. You were laughing at something he whispered in your ear right before the picture was taken. He was staring at you with such love and affection, a lazy smile on his face, his eyes bright with happiness. But for the life of him, he couldn’t remember what he said. 

               “How long will you love me” You asked leaning your head against his shoulder. The two of you were sitting at the table set up, watching everyone mill about and dance. 

He looked over at you and place a kiss on your forehead “Forever.” You intertwine your fingers together, looking at the two wedding bands on your fingers. 

               “Forever and ever?” You ask, a small smile appearing on your lips as your crane your neck to look up at him. 

               “Forever. And Ever. And Ever. And Ever.” He smirked, placing a kiss on your lips in between each “And ever”. He gazed at you, in the soft glow of the setting sun, his heart warm with love, your eyes set on his and he leaned down one more time to place a longer kiss on your lips. “As long as you are you, and I am me, I will love you more than anything.” He muttered before pulling away. You close your eyes and set your head to rest again on his shoulder, feeling perfectly content. 

But since your wedding day, it felt as though things had only gone downhill. It didn’t happen immediately, for a few months the two of you lived in pure domestic bliss and it was amazing. But then, he started filming a new movie, and you’re job only kept you busier and you saw less and less of each other. It wasn’t like you hadn’t been apart for long periods of time before, but this time felt different. When he saw you again after wrapping, his heart didn’t jump like it once had. Your eyes still shone bright at his touch, but the light had left his eyes. 

He should have broken it off then, before you moved back into your routine, but he couldn’t find it in his heart to tell you. He still cared dearly for you, even if he didn’t love you anymore. But he found himself faking more and more emotions and becoming someone completely different every time he was around you. It was draining him. Maybe things would be better if he just came clean to you, maybe you would feel the same, or maybe you would hate him forever. No matter how much he hated himself for lying to you, he couldn’t bear the thought of you hating him. 

Joe was broken from his thought as he heard the jingle of your keys in the door, announcing your arrival. He hopped up from the couch and made his way into the kitchen, ready to start preparing dinner. 

               “Hey babe! I’m home” You call from the front room. 

               “Kitchen!” He replied, digging into the pantry. 

You came into the kitchen, seeing him turn on the stove to make something for dinner. You smile at him and hop on the counter to watch him. He looked up and shot you a smile. You tried to watch him in silence, but something was pulling at you. 

               “How was your day?” You ask quietly, almost begging for interaction. 

He pursed his lips, hearing the desperate tone in your voice. He hated that he did this to you. “it was fine, nothing special” he shrugged “You?” 

You let out a loud, over-dramatic sigh before launching into a whole story about some coworker who was giving you a hard time. He laughed at your story, inserting a comment every now and then trying to get you to smile and succeeding. It was moments like this that he could forget that you were married, and that he was just talking to a friend, a really good friend. It’s awful, he knew, to pretend that the woman in the room with him wasn’t his wife but he couldn’t bear to think about the reality of the situation. 

               “Anyways, I’m going to go take a shower” You say, hopping over the counter. You move over to him and reach up to kiss him on the cheek. He smiles at your gesture but does not reciprocate. You bit you lip starting to turn away but quickly turn back “Hey, I love you.” 

His stomach dropped, he hated this part. The part that he had to lie and say he loved you too when he didn’t. His hand still over his cooking and he looked over at you. He was about to reply but he had hesitated too long. 

               “Joe what’s wrong.” Your voice was quivering. You stood next to him, looking at the ground, afraid of the answer yourself. He clenched his fist. The moment he was dreading for so long was finally coming real. “Did I do something?” 

               “No, no, no, never.” He replied quickly, resting his hands on your shoulder. 

               “Did you find someone else?” Your voice was so quiet that he could barely hear it himself. The question made his blood run cold. He may have fallen out of love, but he would never put you through that. 

               “No.” he said firmly. You finally look up at him and your face broke his heart. Your eyes were red and swollen, full of unshed tears. “Then why don’t you love me?” 

               “Y/N… I-“ He couldn’t find the words to tell her, because he didn’t know himself. His stuttering was making you mad, he could see. You wiped your eyes and spat “What? Is it my job? Am I not good enough for the big movie star?” 

               “What? Y/N no!” He exclaimed, his voice raising. 

               “Am I not pretty enough for you?” You voice was hot with anger but the edges were tinged with sadness and insecurity. 

               “No! Y/N! Please just let me-“ 

               “How long have you known you didn’t love?” 

Now it was his turn to look at the ground. 

               “Did you ever love me?” Your volume lowered and you were more vulnerable now. 

               “I did… I really did.” He said recalling your wedding day, and the glow on your face that reflected the glow in his heart. But there was no glow now “I just fell out of love.” 

               “But I’m still me.” You bring back to mind his words. 

” As long as you are you”  

“But I’m not me.” He admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“And I am me” 

Your eyes widen, realizing what was happening. Things were falling apart, and they were falling apart faster than you ever thought possible. You ran a hand through your hair as you finally let the tears fall, trying to be as silent as possible. Joe reached forward to comfort you, but you flinched away. You made your way back to the counter, wringing your hands together. 

               “So, I guess this is it.” You mutter, just loud enough for him to hear. When he didn’t reply, you yanked you’re your engagement ring off followed by your wedding band. You held the band in your hand, rubbing your thumb over it, remembering the day he gave it to you fondly. Then you dropped it on the counter and left the kitchen. 

Joe was helpless to do anything as he heard you shuffle around the front room before hearing the door open and slam behind you. Then he was alone. With the emotional freedom he always wanted, but in that moment, he couldn’t feel it. All he could feel was the whole now in his heart that you had just taken with you. 

               “As long as you are you, and I am me, I will love you more than anything.”