#Was not expecting any lesbian activity getting into this and was pleasantly surprised.

[cutecats789]

Currently playing Tales of Vesperia, and was anyone gonna tell me that Rita is super gay for Estelle, or was I just supposed to find out myself?

[marley-manson]

☕️ margot verger? And also any of the other main women

Margot:

I liked her, I love Katharine Isabelle and I feel like she fit the vibe of the show. I was disappointed that she wasn't a butch lesbian like in the book - I know Fuller's reasoning was wanting to avoid the transphobic tropes in the book, but like, he could've done that while keeping her butch lol, I feel like his actual reasoning is that he just likes these hyperstyled feminine characters lbr.

Was not a fan of the had to fuck Will to get pregnant to get medically abused storyline either, it's the biggest dsappointment of season 2. I wasn't as upset about it as some people, but yk, it wasn't great fam.

Overall though I think she's a fun character, love her blase attitude towards Hannibal, love when she finally kills Mason, love that she hooks up with the former het love interest lmao, I find her solidly enjoyable.

Alana:

I think she's interesting, though she was stifled in her love interest role in the first two seasons. I like that in season 1+2 her biggest flaw was woobifying Will lmao and basically not treating him as someone with agency, I like that she's self aware about her tendency to fall for dudes in distress but still ends up hooking up with Hannibal after he nearly gets murdered lmao. I like her perturbed outside pov on Hannigram. Loooove that she ends up married to a woman. Love her development in season 3 in general, don't think it needed to be justified by ~bone marrow in her blood~ but w/e I've whined about that before lol. Oh and I love that she's basically Hannibal's nemesis now, and specifically started working at the BSHCI to guard him herself, it's fucked up and interesting.

Abigail:

I'm pretty meh on her honestly, she's fine but she's not that interesting to me, I'm not really into the murder family thing, and she's most interesting as a plot device to bring hannigram together and tear them apart as far as I'm concerned.

Bedelia:

Adore her lmao. I love that she's constantly a little contemptuous of Hannibal yet fascinated by him, was so pleasantly surprised at how she turned out to be manipulating Hannibal in Italy when, after the first episode of s3, I was fully expecting her to just be a damsel. Bedelia getting high and lying to Jack and Will was one of the best scenes of the show. Loooove her ridiculous over the top dialogue. Love her crushing the bird speech (the bird is Hannibal). Love her shift from Will's ally in season 2 to also contemptuous of him. I think the fact that so many people assumed Bedelia cut off her own leg in the post credits finale scene is hilarious and unfortunate and shows that a lot of people completely misunderstand her.

But tbf the show actively obfuscates everything so yk.

Freddie:

Fave. Looooove her. Hope she makes millions off her murder husbands book, she deserves to live a long and happy life. Love how Hannibal kept calling her rude and she slipped neatly by him anyway. Love how she's kind of Will's nemesis lol, in a much pettier, funnier way than Alana is Hannibal's.

Molly:

She's fine. She's a good down to earth element that the show was crying for lol. Loved her final girl style escape from Dolarhyde. Love that she just knows Hannibal sent him after her like the bitchy ex he is. Love that she peaced the fuck out.

Bev:

Fine, also down to earth which was great, the 2nd half of season 2 was sorely lacking in the vibe she provided. Her death was a little eyeroll worthy, which was unfortunate, she deserved to go out in a more badass way imo.

Bella:

Quite like her, love Hannibal's respect for her (the fact that he even flipped a coin says volumes tbh,though I also think Hannibal would've responded that way to most people, it's still a great scene), love that she slapped him, think she was kind of shitty to Jack in not telling him about the cancer for so long lol but I also get it and empathize with that choice, think she was incredibly shitty to try to kill herself in front of Hannibal but in like, an interesting way lol (even though it was probably just plot convenience writing-wise). Love Gina Torres in general.

Have I forgotten anyone important? Hope not.

Thanks for the ask!

send me a ☕️ and a topic and i’ll talk about how i feel about it

[kittyprincessofcats]

RWBY Volume 6

So, I pretty much binge-watched this one in a few days because I really needed to know how things go on after Volume 5 and it was just so good! Lots of messy thoughts to come!

[There will be spoilers for RWBY up to Volume 6 in this post (duh). Please don’t leave any spoilers for anything after Volume 6 on this post, or I will block you.]

Thoughts under the cut because this ended up getting a little long.

- The character short for Adam was really cool! It was cool to see how the White Fang began, to see Sienna, Ghira, Ilia and Adam in action, to see the irony of Sienna being a mentor to Adam and encouraging his ways when you know he’ll end up killing her, and to see a glimpse into Adam and Blake’s past relationship (and how the stuff he said to her was textbook emotional abuse). However, I do have one criticism, and it’s something that really bothers me: There’s a continuity mistake with Ilia’s age. Let’s think about this: Ilia was always implied to be the same age (or around the same age) as Blake. In the part of this short where Ghira was still leader of the White Fang, Ilia appears and doesn’t look younger than in canon. But we know Ghira stepped down at least a few years ago. If Blake is meant to be a teenager in volume 1… there’s just no way Ilia could have been there and already been an adult. She’s supposed to have still been a kid when Ghira was leader, unless she’s at least a few years older than Blake – which I don’t think she’s meant to be? Yeah sorry, this kind of stuff just bothers me. I get that timelines can be hard to keep track off, but that was a really obvious mistake and it ruins my immersion a bit.

- I loved the whole opening fight on the train and just seeing team RWBY fighting together again.

- I’ve got to say, I do feel bad for Weiss: After everything she went through to leave Atlas, she now suddenly has to go back there. I mean, that must suck.

- I’m a bit sad they just but Ilia on a bus, but I get that her main conflict is pretty much over and they had to go back to focusing on the main characters’ quest. I still wish we’d have at least gotten a scene of her interacting with the other members of team RWBY, though.

- I really liked Ilia and Blake’s goodbye at the train station, though. (And the whole “wrong tree” moment with Neptune really made me laugh 😂)

- Also just wanted to say I love Ilia’s new outfit (and the fact that she has spots on her belly – this is really important information, okay?)

- There’s a certain irony in the Faunus becoming more accepted because they STOPPED Adam’s attack on Haven.

- I think Jinn and the whole concept of how asking her questions works is super cool.

- I totally get why everyone’s pissed at Ozpin both before, during and after Jinn revealed his and Salem’s backstory. He has been hiding an awful lot from everyone, even after promising not to anymore, and he actively tried to stop the team from finding out the truth. Plus, the whole fact that he doesn’t have a plan for defeating Salem and is potentially risking everyone’s lives for nothing. (That said, can they not take it out on poor Oscar, please? None of this is his fault.)

- Oscar fighting Ozpin from within and telling them how to summon Jinn was a really badass scene. And I feel super bad for Oscar overall. Not only is he kind of at war with someone who lives in his brain now, but he also just found out that he’ll eventually only become a part of Ozma. And on top of that, people are punching and blaming him for stuff that’s not his fault. That’s super harsh.

- I’m kind of glad Cinder’s alive, because as I said, I was hoping they’d develop her more and make her a more interesting villain… but I don’t feel like this volume did that. Right now, she’s still pretty superficial, unfortunately.

- And now, time to get into one of the highlights of this volume for me: Salem’s backstory! Because holy shit, that was one hell of a backstory! When I said back in my post about volume 5 that I hope Cinder’s alive because I would like to see them make her a more interesting villain, I didn’t expect them to do just that, but for Salem. I love villains that are interesting, but I didn’t expect Salem, the literal big bad of the show, to be the interesting one here! I am pleasantly surprised by this, though! (And just to be clear, because some people love to misunderstand this: When I say “interesting”, I don’t mean “She has a sad backstory, this excuses everything she’s doing”, I mean “She has a sad backstory, this makes her more compelling as a villain”.)

- So, about that backstory: Do we all agree that the gods are major jerks, or what? I mean, initially not bringing Ozma back to life was fair, death is a part of life, they can’t upset the balance, I get that – but making him repeatedly disintegrate in Salem’s arms after she just thought she’d gotten him back? And then making her immortal just to make sure she couldn’t be with him? And then killing ALL of humanity just because of the actions of a few? But still not letting Salem die? And then bringing Ozma back after all (because now it suddenly doesn’t ‘disrupt the balance’ or what?) and kind of tricking him into that whole relics task because he wanted to be with Salem? The god are jerks, I rest my case - and I’m not sure if bringing them back is a good idea.

- Also… I get that she’s like… evil and all… but am I the only one who thought Salem got way sexier after jumping into the pools of grimm? Is that just me? Because damn… I’m kinda into that version of her. (Come on, she’s a sexy goth witch and I’m a simple lesbian, what do you expect?)

- So yeah… in an unexpected turn of events, Salem might be one of my favourite characters now? Oops? (*insert obligatory ‘this does not mean I condone her actions in any way’ disclaimer here*)

- I feel super bad for Salem and Ozma’s kids, though. I hate kids getting hurt in media in general. (I imagine the grief over them stayed with Ozma forever. And I like the theory that he gave the original four maidens their powers because they reminded him of his daughters. In general, I don’t consider him to be the bad guy in this backstory at any point. His only mistake is not being honest with the people who are helping and protecting him in the present.)

- I am now convinced that this entire show has to end with Salem and Ozma dying. That’s the only way all of this can end. Salem will have to either be killed somehow or learn the lesson the gods tried to teach her and die. Ozma will have to fulfill his task and die as well – either through Oscar dying with him (😢), through only Ozma dying but Oscar getting to live without him, or through the reincarnation cycle ending and Ozma/Ozpin recognizing that Oscar is going to be his last life. Something like that would be my prediction.

- Speaking of interesting villains: This volume also did a great job with Emerald and Mercury! With those two, I’m actually hoping for a redemption now. (And Hazel is a great guy as well. The fact that he was willing to take the blame for their failure at Haven to protect Emerald and Mercury is something I really respect.)

- I also I want to say I find Tyrion super entertaining.

- It was great to see Neo again! (I’ve gotten so used to Chibi!Neo it was almost weird to see regular Neo again.) Her fight with Cinder was EPIC.

- (I basically feel like this volume did a great job on all villains except for Cinder. But hey, maybe that’ll still happen.)

- This was an interesting volume for Qrow. On the one hand, I get why hearing Oz’s backstory drove him into a sort-of depression and made his drinking habit worse and I feel bad for him, but from the point-of-view of Ruby and the others, it must have also been super frustrating that the one proper adult in the group couldn’t keep it together and everyone else had to keep doing the hard work.

- Maria is a super cool and epic character! I really hope she sticks around with the team for Volume 7 because she’s amazing and I love her. She was super badass in her backstory (that moment where she lost her eyes was painful just to watch), I love the fact that she was Qrow’s hero growing up (and that he based his weapon on hers!), that we finally met another character who has (well, had) silver eyes, and that she’s that funny, cranky, but also wise old lady now who mentors Ruby and is just super funny all around. Good stuff, I hope we see more of her!

- The Apathy are the creepiest grim yet. The whole concept of them draining you of your will to live without you even noticing is just SO scary – I love it, but I’m also low-key terrified. The crew’s trip to that farm estate could have easily gone very wrong. Pretty much nothing but Ruby’s silver eyes even worked on them. I like how those episodes set the whole thing up – Team RWBY having emotional conversations while they were in the house, everyone having doubts (which makes sense at that point in the story, so you don’t really question it at first), and then the sneaking realization of what’s going on. Also, the guy who sealed in those Apathy grim in in the first place was just so dumb. How could you think that was a good idea? Good job getting everyone killed, dude.

- I’m glad this volume gave us more on Ruby’s silver eyes! I like that she finally got to use them before the season finale (though I loved that joke on RWBY Chibi), and I also like that she first used them to protect Blake. (I don’t ship them as much as Bumbleby, but I feel like Ruby and Blake’s ship/friendship is super underrated.) It was also nice to learn more about how the Silver eyes work in general and how they came to be. (If they came from the god of light, I’m assuming all the people with silver eyes are the descendants of Ozma’s past lives? TV Tropes kind of helped me out here: Apparently if you freeze the picture where you see one of his past lives with his kids, you can see the kids have silver eyes.) People with silver eyes being hunted also comes as no surprise to me, that’s kind of what I was assuming already. (Which raises the question: Just how did Summer Rose die?) Also, interesting fact that they only work on the Grimm...

- That moment where they reunite with JNR in Argus was really sweet. I also loved the design of Argus as a whole.

- I LOVE Saphron, Terra, and their son!!! I love that we got to meet one of Jaune’s sisters, I love that we got some more LGBT+ representation, and their baby is adorable!! (I loved that scene of everyone cooing over the baby. Also, that moment where Ruby realized Jaune and Saphron were siblings. Also, that moment where the baby helped them distract the guards by crying.) Basically, I just love the Cotta-Arcs. (Also, I just want to say that Saphron is super pretty.)

- Cordovin and her two goons are hilarious. I mean, I also hate them because they’re overly patriotic Atlas-people and Cordovin was racist to Blake – but they’re also super freaking hilarious. Every little line of Maria and Cordovin’s beef with each other had my dying with laughter 🤣 (mainly it was Maria’s lines that had me dying with laughter).

- That whole scene with the statue of Pyrrha was such a tearjerker 😢. First the leaf, then the sad music, then Jaune talking to that red-haired lady (I’m guessing she’s either Pyrrha’s mom or sister?), and then Ren and Nora joining and giving Jaune a pep-talk 😭 😭. I think this was a really important moment for Jaune, not just to get closure, but also to stop blaming himself and putting himself down. I’m glad Ren and Nora told him they don’t want to lose him too, and that the red-haired lady said she’s “glad Pyrrha was surrounded by such amazing people”. Gosh, now I’m tearing up again writing this 😭. I miss Pyrrha 😭 😭.

- I love Oscar’s new outfit. It was time for him to finally drop the farm boy look.

- I love how Jaune is so down for crime that his plan is just “They only let Atlas airships though, so we steal an Atlas airship.” I mean, makes sense.

- I think their whole plan to steal the airship was super cool and although I get why things can’t be that easy in shows like this (and I love that we got the showdown with Adam), I still kind of wish it had worked just because it was a really cool plan and everyone had their part to play in it. Heck, even the baby got to help (and it was awesome)! But yeah, Adam just had to ruin everything, nothing new there.

- So, about Adam: First of all, he’s a major creep for victim-blaming Blake (again) and stalking her. I like how creepy his behaviour is from a story-telling perspective (and from an angst-loving “I like seeing my faves suffer” perspective), but his story was getting a little old, so I’m not too sad they killed him off now. It was a good point in the story to do it. (That said, holy shit is he a creep! “I wouldn’t have to be doing this if you just behaved”? Wow. I get that he’s meant to be abusive and controlling; that’s the point of his character (and like I said, I’m here for the angst), but… yikes, poor Blake.)

- And then we had Blake and Yang’s rematch with Adam. EPIC STUFF. First of all, I like that Blake was able to hold her own against him for a bit (and same for Yang later). I also love the whole dramatic setting by the waterfall and the fact that Blake lost her coat (this is important, okay? it symbolizes vulnerability – and also it just looks cool), the scar on Blake’s belly (from their fight at Beacon, right?), the face reveal of Adam – I just love how all of this was set up in such an epic, dramatic way. But the most epic moment, at least from the start of the fight, has got to be Yang just jumping down there with her motorcycle hitting Adam and that amazing music. I’ve said before that Yang is just too cool for words and I will stand by that. The fight itself was epic too, though I was so stressed the whole time I couldn’t completely pay attention. Blake and Yang fighting Adam together was definitely the best part, though. And I loved the irony of Yang’s metal arm saving her. In general, I like that Yang and Blake got to fight and defeat (and kill) Adam together because he’s been a demon for both of them, and I like that they clarified they’re doing it as equal partners. “We’re protecting each other” was a nice callback to earlier when Blake tried to reassure Yang she’d protect her, and to even earlier when Yang was protecting Blake at Beacon.

- Let’s talk about my other highlight of the volume: Bumbleby! Because sorry not sorry, there’s no way you can deny their romantic subtext anymore at this point. Early in the volume, there’s the conflict of things being weird between them, and Blake not knowing how to deal with her guilt and thinking she needs to protect Yang (and do stuff like getting her bag down for her) – while Yang feels insulted by this and thinks that Blake sees her as being incapable of doing anything now that she lost an arm. Then, when Blake first leaves to disable the comms, they give each other those really sweet, loving looks. And of course, it all leads up to them confronting their nightmare together, holding hands, and declaring that they’re protecting each other. Add Adam’s jealousy to that (He was making comparisons between himself and Yang and asking “What does she even see in you?” – that’s not a sentence you just say to your ex’s friend) and you’d have to be willfully ignorant to not see the subtext. And those soft moments after the fight just killed me: Blake breaking down crying, Yang immediately running to hug and comfort her, Blake’s promise not to leave, Yang reassuring her and wiping away her tears – I LOVE hurt/comfort stuff and I’m so soft for these two! They love each other so much!

(Pretty much the only downside of all this is that a few major parts were spoiled for me in advance. Look, it’s pretty impossible to follow lots of blogs that post wlw ships and not see that picture of Bumbleby holding hands, or the one of them hugging (or the one of them killing Adam) at some point. So yeah… I’d seen all three of those pictures before and knew this would happen. But it was still really nice to see it all come together and see how we got there!)

- The fight against Cordovin and her giant mecha was also pretty cool! It reminded me a bit of the Legend of Korra finale. Ruby going inside the arm canon was an especially epic moment. And I also liked that small moment when they were flying on the Queen Lancer and Ruby had her arms around Weiss’ waist (a bit of White Rose, yay!).

- I like that moment when the Grimm attack and the team first realizes they just destroyed the only thing capable of stopping them – but to be honest, that was mostly Cordovin’s fault. She brought out that mecha for something it wasn’t meant for and started the fight that attracted the Grimm in the first place. Also, how exactly did she think the people of Atlas would take it if she had actually hurt Weiss? So yeah, most of that mess was on her, tbh. I’m glad she at least came though to help in the end, though.

- Back to Bumbleby: Honestly, the strongest romantic undertones weren’t even in the fight with Adam or directly afterwards for me, but in the last episode when they’re all on the ship together. So, Blake is blaming herself for the plan going wrong, and Yang has an arm around, her, still half holding her and reassuring her. And then – and this one really gets me – Ruby hugs Blake and gives Yang that knowing look over her shoulder while Yang suddenly looks away shyly. They’re communicating without words and Ruby totally knows what’s up. She’s basically saying “So you and Blake, huh?” and suddenly Yang – YANG – is feeling shy. This isn’t subtle. And then later Bumbleby hold hands again and look at each other like that… they’re in love, I don’t make the rules.

- And finally, we of course have Ruby’s epic silver-eyed moment in the finale, which was AMAZING. I loved all the flashbacks and how they’re drawn pictures and not just stills from the episodes, I love how the memories of her friends motivate her, I love how much of Penny there was in there (bit of Nuts and Dolts, yay!), I loved seeing adorable little!Yang, and of course the first look at Summer Rose! (I still want a Team STRQ backstory episode at some point.) Also, the music during that scene was so good!

Gosh, now I’ve talked for way too long again, but there was just so much to say about this volume! Long story short: Loved it, can’t wait to continue! (I know exactly 1 major spoiler for volume 7 because it was unavoidable on social media, but that’s it. And it’s a spoiler I really didn’t mind knowing, so…)

[latter-day-saint-nick]

Here‘s a list of all the books with queer protagonists I’ve read this year. While I do actively seek those out, there are several books on here that I didn’t know had queer themes when I picked them up from the library and then I was pleasantly surprised by lesbians. I‘ll avoid spoilers except when discussing trigger warnings.

 Kaleidoscope Song by Fox Benwell

Neo, a South African teenager, is obsessed with music of any kind. Her love of music brings her together with the singer of a local band and they have a passionate relationship that they must keep secret. The descriptions of Neo‘s life and her tendency to hear music in everything are beautiful and dynamic. The author included a list of the songs Neo is listening to throughout the book, so I was introduced to a lot of cool music from South Africa and other places. TW: Corrective rape and Bury Your Gays. This is a book by a queer (albeit white British, rather than black South African) author writing about a very real problem that exists within our communities, so it feels different to when a cishet author kills off a queer character just for shock value. I still can‘t help feeling that he could have made the same point without having the character die – just have her be injured. Still, I loved pretty much everything else about the book, so it gets a tentative recommendation from me.

The Mermaid’s Daughter by Ann Claycomb

25-year-old opera student Kathleen tries to cope with the constant pain in her feet, nightmares about having her tongue cut out, and desperate yearning for the sea. With the help of her girlfriend Harry she delves into her family history to uncover the secret of a curse spanning generations of women. What’s nice about this book is that Kathleen and Harry’s relationship is accepted by all their family and friends without question, so if you want to read a nice wlw fantasy story with no homophobia, this one’s for you. TW: Some discussion of suicide, but nothing too graphic.

The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth

A teenage lesbian is sent to conversion therapy by her religious aunt. This is basically a coming-of-age story as the title character comes to terms with her identity and the death of her parents. It’s considered an important work of LGBT YA literature, so I really wanted to like it more than I did. Most of the first half of the novel deals with Cameron’s everyday life in her small town in Montana, which was, to be honest, rather boring to me. The pace of the story picks up a bit once she gets sent to conversion therapy, but even then it’s slower and less eventful than I would have liked. But since it is a popular book, that’s probably just me. I did like that the two best friends she makes at the therapy camp are a disabled girl and an indigenous boy, two types of people that are not often represented in queer fiction, so that’s something. TW: Conversion therapy and self-harm.

Proud by Juno Dawson

This is a collection of poems and stories about queerness aimed at a YA audience, and each one is a pure delight! These stories detail moments of joy and pride that make you feel happy and hopeful about being queer. They include a high school retelling of Pride and Prejudice with lesbians, a nonbinary kid and his D&D group on a quest to disrupt the gender binary at their school, a magical phoenix leading a Chinese girl to find love, and gay penguins. All stories, poems and illustrations are by queer writers and artists. Seriously, I cannot recommend this collection enough!

Spellbook of the Lost and Found by Moïra Fowley-Doyle

An Irish magical realist story about three girls who perform a spell to find things that they have lost. The spell appears to have wider consequences than they expected, bringing to light things that should have stayed lost. This book has three narrators, two of whom are wlw. It treads a nice line between fantasy and reality, and has some pretty good plot twists. Also, there’s a crossword at the end, which is awesome. More books should come with crosswords.

Ancillary Justice, Ancillary Sword and Ancillary Mercy by Ann Leckie

A space opera trilogy set in the distant future about the embodiment of a ship’s AI who seeks revenge against the ruler of a colonialist empire who destroyed her ship and killed her beloved captain. This is not beginner’s sci-fi, as it is very complex and intricate, but if you’re fine with a bit of a heavier read, you’ll be rewarded with some very interesting concepts. What makes this series queer is that the Raadch empire has no concept of gender and uses female pronouns for everyone. This makes every romantic relationship queer by default, whether we are aware of the characters’ sexes or not. I found it particularly enjoyable when Breq, the protagonist, tried to communicate in different languages that have gendered pronouns, which she had to navigate carefully in order not to offend people. She tries to look for outward clues of gender, such as hairstyles, chest size, facial hair or Adam’s apples, but even then often gets it wrong, because these things are not always consistent. That is just a great depiction of how arbitrary ideas of binary sexual characteristics tend to be. Also, I guess technically Breq is aroace, but since she’s not human, I’m not sure if she can be considered the best representation, though she is a very likeable character that I enjoyed following.

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue and The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee

These books are a lot of fun! They’re historical adventure stories with a bit of fantasy thrown in, featuring disaster bisexual Henry Montague, his snarky aroace sister Felicity and his best friend Percy whom he is secretly in love with. In the first book, the three teenagers are sent on a tour of Europe for various reasons, but they quickly abandon the planned route when they get embroiled in a plot involving theft and alchemy. The second book details Felicity’s further attempts to become a doctor, which leads her to reunite with an old friend and chase a tale of fantastical creatures.

The Spy with the Red Balloon by Katherine Locke

Technically I read this one late last year, but whatever. I just wanted to put it on the list to have an excuse to talk about it. It’s about two Jewish siblings with magic powers who are recruited during World War II to take part in a secret project to fight the Nazis. Both siblings turn out to be queer: the brother is gay and demisexual, while the sister is bisexual, and they each have a love interest. This book is an independent prequel to The Girl with the Red Balloon, which takes place in East Berlin during the time of the Wall, and is just as good, albeit not as gay.

We Set the Dark on Fire by Tehlor Kay Mejia

This book tends to be classified as fantasy, because it takes place in an alternate, Latin-American-inspired world, with a distinct history, culture and religion, but there’s no magic at all, so I’m not sure it counts. But I digress. The country of Medio is built on classism and acute xenophobia. But by hiding her status as an illegal immigrant, Daniela, a girl from a poor background, manages to rise to the top of her class at her elite finishing school and become the first wife of one of the most powerful young men in the country. But her new comfortable status is threatened when she is pressured to join a group of rebels who fight for equality. At the same time, she also finds herself falling for her husband’s second wife. Obviously, this book’s political message is very topical, but beyond that, it’s just a very good story, with a well fleshed-out fictional world and great characters. This is the first in a series, with the sequel, We Unleash the Merciless Storm, coming out in February.

All Out: The No Longer Secret Stories of Queer Teens Throughout the Ages by Saundra Mitchell

A very nice collection of short stories about various queer teenagers in different historical settings, from a medieval monastery to an American suburb on New Year’s Eve in 1999. Most of the stories are realist, but there are a few ghosts and witches to be found in-between. What I found particularly notable about this book is that it featured several asexual characters, which you don’t often see in collections like this. I definitely recommend it.

Under the Udala Trees by Chinelo Okparanta

This is a thoughtful, heart-warming life story about a woman growing up during the civil war in Nigeria. After Ijeoma, a Christian Igbo girl, is sent away from home, she finds her first love in Amina, a Muslim Hausa. Even after they are found out and separated, Ijeoma doesn’t quite understand what’s so shameful about their love. Still, as she grows older, she attempts to fit into a heteronormative society while also connecting with the things and people that make her happy. TW: Homophobic violence, including an attack on a gay nightclub. The novel makes up for this by having a remarkably happy ending.

The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley

A young man in Victorian London finds a mysterious watch on his pillow, with no idea how it got there. This sets into motion a strange series of events, which leads him to a lonely Japanese watchmaker, to whom he finds himself increasingly drawn. This is an unusual novel that treads the line between historical fiction, fantasy and sci-fi. Most of the characters are morally grey and have complex motivations, but are still likable. I just really enjoy stories that take place in this time period, particularly when they are this thoughtfully written and don’t just take the prejudices of the past for granted.

If I Was Your Girl by Meredith Russo

A YA book about a transgender teenager, written by a transgender author. After her mother decides that she is not safe in her hometown anymore, high school senior Amanda moves in with her dad in a town where nobody knows her and she can try to go stealth. But even as she is making friends and experiencing romance for the first time, she constantly worries about what will happen if her secret comes out. It’s a fairly standard story about being transgender, really, but as it comes from a trans author, it feels a lot more personal and less voyeuristic than these stories tend to be when coming from a cisgender perspective. Amanda is a sympathetic and compelling character. TW: This book deals with a number of upsetting themes, including transphobic violence, being forcibly outed and suicide. There is a flashback to Amanda’s pre-transition suicide attempt, which I found particularly triggering. I also wish she could have come out on her own terms, instead of being outed in front of the whole school by someone she thought she could trust. It is still a pretty good book, but it can be very upsetting at times.

As I Descended by Robin Talley

A loose retelling of Macbeth that takes place in a boarding school in Virginia and involves two queer couples. The supernatural elements of the play are amplified in a wonderfully creepy way, and the characters are complex and realistic, so you understand their motivations, even when they do bad things. TW: Out of the five queer characters in the novel, three die, two of them by suicide.

A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo by Jill Twiss and EG Keller

A charming picture book about the Vice President’s pet bunny who falls in love with another boy bunny and wants to hop around at his side for the rest of his life. This book was written as a screw you to Mike Pence, but even so it is a genuinely nice kid’s book that deals with homosexuality and marriage equality in a way that is appropriate for young children. The illustrations are incredibly cute as well.

Palimpsest by Catherynne M. Valente

A very strange, surreal tale about four people (most of whom are queer in some way) exploring a magical city that you can enter in your dreams by sleeping with someone who has been there before. I wanted to like this one more than I did, because I really love Catherynne Valente’s Fairyland books for children. But while some of the dreamlike imagery is cool and pretty, I found a lot of it weirdly uncomfortable, along with the frequent sex scenes.

The Pearl Thief by Elizabeth Wein

15-year-old Julia is home for the summer at her parents’ ancestral mansion in Scotland and gets involved with a plot about theft, disappearance and possibly murder. She also has her first crushes – on a man working at her parents’ estate and a young Traveller girl, respectively. This is a prequel to Code Name Verity, which has the same protagonist, though her bisexuality isn’t really alluded to in that, which is why I’ve kept it off the list, even though it is an excellent book. The Pearl Thief is pretty good as well, though it is a bit strange to read after you’ve already read Verity and know that this carefree teenage character is going to grow up to be a spy in World War II and be tortured in a Nazi prison. Do read both books, though. They are great.

Gut Symmetries by Jeanette Winterson

A young scientist falls in love with the wife of the man she’s having an affair with. There’s speculation about quantum mechanics and interconnectedness, all wrapped in very poetic language. To be perfectly honest, I really didn’t get it, so I have no idea what any of it means. But at least the main character is bisexual and polyamorous (and possibly genderfluid – I’m not sure).

Queer Africa by Makhosazana Xaba and Karen Martin

A collection of short stories by queer African writers, discussing themes like love, sex, marriage, family and homophobia. The attitudes towards queerness in these different countries varies. In many of them, homosexuality is illegal, even though same-sex relationships used to be respected before the interference of Western colonialism. In any case, these stories are an interesting and oftentimes beautiful examination of queerness from a non-Western point of view, some joyous and some tragic. TW: The second to last story is about incest.

[lia-nikiforov]

Spring 2018 Anime Watchlist

THERE IS TOO MUCH ANIME THIS SEASON I HAD TO BINGE 37 EPISODES IN THREE DAYS TO CATCH UP

Dropped

Mahou Shoujo Site: Although I originally intended to irony watch this one, expecting something like MahoIku or King’s Game, its sadistic reveling in the main character’s suffering was impossible to stomach. I felt physically ill at the end of it. I’m not, in principle, opposed to gory stuff, y’all know I sat through the whole stupidity that was King’s Game, but MahoSite doesn’t even reach the level of ridiculous over the topness to make it funny, it’s just a cascade of misery porn with not a single moment of levity or triumph for the heroine. I think I was done the moment that gratuitous “if you punch my stomach my period won’t come” line, because apparently some dudes get off on the idea of a woman being so brutalized she stops menstruating??????

Kakuriyo Yadomeshi: I was willing to give this one the three-episode trial after the first episode in spite of the godawful main love interest and the fact that the grandfather sold the MC into literal slavery wtf, because the main girl seems proactive and independent buuuuuuut fuck I hated episode 2. Not only does she seem to quickly forgive her grandfather for SELLING HER OFF, the men around her keep speaking over her and making decisions for her and she turns out to be just independent enough to not be a complete doormat, but not enough to appear defiant and I hate it. Thanks but no thanks, I ain’t here to see a romantization of being literally sold into an arranged marriage.

YOU THINK?!

Cutie Honey Universe: Before this, I’d had zero interaction with any other iteration of Cutie Honey, so I wasn’t sure of what to expect beyond knowing this was from the creator of Devilman. Certainly blatant homophobic jokes and jokes about physical abuse wasn’t in my list of thigs I expected to see, yet here we are. I ain’t here for “hyuk hyuk look at these fat/butch/ugly lesbians, aren’t they ridiculous” jokes either.

Butlers x Battlers: I completely forgot I watched this one. I don’t remember anything about it except being confused

GeGeGe no Kitaro: This one didn’t do anything wrong, but I was never gonna watch it. I just checked out episode 1 because I heard it made a dig at Logan Paul. I wish they’d gone all the way through and killed that character, but I guess you can’t have it all. It was actually a pretty decent episode, and in a weaker season I’d probably keep watching it, but there’s just too much stuff coming out. And I have watched previous Kitaro anime and it’s sometimes too meanspirited for me.

Uma Musume: I didn’t expect much from this show and was pleasantly surprised by the double-length first episode. Special Week was a nice, fun protagonist to root for and although the world-building was weird as heck, it was fun and positive. So I’m not exactly sure of what happened with episode 2/3 that it left me feeling completely dry. The pacing was super rushed, the characters all felt horribly flat, and the races weren’t super exciting because rather than any strategy or strong emotional realization, Special Week just has to start running even faster and faster in the final leg. It was also kind of implied she had gained weight? But then never brought up? And it’s not made very clear why she lost in the end? Was she supposed to learn humility and not getting too complacent? Seems too early for her to learn that when she’s supposed to be an underdog. I don’t know, it didn’t really work for me and I don’t feel like I care to watch more of it.

Because this post is long af and has a lot of gifs some folks were having trouble loading it on mobile, so you’ll have to read under the cut to know which are the shows I’m actually watching oops

Chopping Block: 

There is too much anime and I’m near the end of the semester so I’m gonna have to cut at least one -preferably two- of these shows

Sword Art Online Alternative: This was another one I intended to hatewatch? But rather than offensive or idiotic it’s so far been pretty boring. Episode one was a slog. The first half of episode two was a horrendous spectacle of hating your own body. The only think I liked was the friendship between LLENN and Pito (btw Pito meand ‘dick’ in Spanish and every time she says “call me Pito” I die). Then episode 3 was more boring exposition. FPS games are the least interesting I could think of, and I’ve never been into Let’s Play, so this show is hitting all the right notes to make me bored out of my mind. I also don’t appreciate the big dude not telling Llenn the plan and just kind of being condescending to her. If next episode is just 20 more minutes of the dude explaining things to Llenn, I’m out. (Also, Pito is 100% Elsa Kanzaki)

Legend of the Galactic Heroes: Not feeling this reboot at all. It’s all very dry and just dudes expositioning strategy at each other. Also there are 30 characters in the Ending and only 2 of them are women???? I’ll give it one more episode, but tbh I’ve had problems even paying attention to 2 and 3, it just doesn’t grab me.

Libra of Nil Admirari: Although I like the heroine and she might be one of the strongest reverse harem heroines I’ve seen, the plot itself is very... eh. The guys are also very uninteresting so far. There’s also the fact that Tsumugi claims to have no interest in men or love, but this being a reverse harem with a bevy of men starved for her attention makes me worry this’ll end with her being “fixed” by an actual nice guy who is worthy of her or something. But the OP is very cute!

Hatewatch

Darling in the Franxx: Boy oh boy, the otaku have been creaming their pants and tearing their clothes off for the last three weeks, but “Don’t call it Fucking, It’s Making Love” in the Franxx’s greatest achievement in my eyes is going for idiotically offensive to just bland and clichéd. A recent AMA on reddit with the producer seems to imply that none of the themes of sex, gender and heterosexism that have been at the core of the show were even properly thought out, nor were their implications even remotely considered. I don’t know if the show’s heterosexism would be worse if it was active propaganda rather than what it seems to be: a bunch of ideas the producers thought would be “cool” and “titillating” with no particular meaning to them. Also we’re 15 episodes in and all we’ve achieved is Palurdo has finally tamed his beast waifu who is Not Like Other Girls. Oh, and I guess the monsters actually had humans in there, what a shocker, never seen that before, never expected such a clever twizzzzzzzz....

Mid Priority

Tokyo Ghoul: Re : I thought I was done with Tokyo Ghoul after trying to read the manga and being bored shitless by all the unnecessary exposition, but this one, while not quite excellent, managed to pique my interest. The conceit of Kaneki losing his memories and joining the Doves and helping in exterminating ghouls I’m super not interested in, but his encounter with Nishio has made me curious enough about what has happened with the rest of the characters to keep watching for now.

Rokuhodou Biyori: The iyashikei show of the season I guess. The guys’ personalities are a little bland, so I might bump it down to the chopping block, but it’s only been two episodes, so I want to give it a fair chance

Persona 5: My history with Persona has never been good. Episode 1 of P4 made me sleep, and I watched the first P3 movie THREE TIMES and never managed to parse wtf it was about. This show shares some of the same problems in making me struggle to pay attention, but at least so far the plot seems interesting, the visuals are creative and striking, and I really like the main character’s design. I’m also more inclined to keep watching because Sayokan directed the OP for the videogame.

Hisone to Masotan: There’s a cynical part of me that watches this show and feels like I’m watching a commercial for the JSDF. Yvan eht nioJ, come join us, we have cool dragons!!! I also don’t love the fact that the dragon turns into a plane :/ BUT the characters have a lot of heart, the dynamics so far between Hisone and Masotan and Hisone and Kanzaki have been very touching. A part of me though, wishes Hisone had stuck with Otofu because it’s such a cute name and she sounded really funny yelling “OTOFU!!!”

Safe Sequels

Although some of these sequels would go in higher categories, I was unsure about how to rank them -especially the 2-cour ones- compared to some of my top premieres of the season, so I’m just putting them all together because there are A LOT of sequels.

Yowapeda Glory Line: FINALLY SOMETHING POSITIVE HAPPENED FOR SOHOKU. I was starting to feel exhausted with all the gloominess, especially for seeing Teshima punished, HE DESERVES EVERY GOOD THING. Now we can get back on track and hopefully have a fun race without Teshima brooding all the way through the episode. ALSO THANK YOU FOR THE EXCELLENT TESHIAO CONTENT

Nanatsu no Taizai: FINALLY ESCANOR SHOWED UP. It’s felt like the first half of the show dragged a lot compared to the manga, so I’m happy we’ve reached one of the coolest parts. Though if memory serves, the rest of the season will be spent floundering around, but damn, the Escanor vs Galand battle is very satisfying to watch.

Lupin III Part V: So this time around they’ve added the social media factor into Lupin’s adventures, and so far the result has been quite interesting. I don’t have a lot to say, the artstyle looks closer to classic versions of the franchise and has lost some of the edge from part IV, but the comedy and Lupin’s plans are still creative and fun to watch, even adding a unique spin to the social media component, so I’m excited to see where they take this. But we need more Fujiko yesterday pls

Binan Koukou Chikyuu Boueibu Happy Kiss: A soft reboot of this magical girl parody franchise, with frillier costumes and even more ridiculous attacks and transformations, and I’m here for it. I do wish we’d get at least some cameos from the original gang. I also feel that so far, apart from the Red guy (Kyotaro?) the others don’t seem to have much of a distinctive personality. It’s only episode three, so hopefully that’s something we’ll see developed as the show goes on.

Hozuki no Reitetsu: It’s the same as it’s always been, a brilliantly dry workplace comedy. If you haven’t watched the previous seasons, you’re missing out on one of the best comedies of this decade.

Boku no Hero Academia 3: After the recap first episode, the series has gone back full gear ahead into the next story arc and so far it looks pretty cool. Although I’m never a fan of “regular MC activity gets interrupted by villains”. Idk why it bothers me a lot -a prime example being the S Class exam getting cut short in Fairy Tail and the concept of S Class mages completely ditched thereon after. But anyway, I have faith in the writing that they’ll make this villain interruption cool and worth it. I do however wish they’d let us meet the Class B guys better.

Steins;Gate 0: You know, I was 100% ready to be disappointed and abandon this one right away, but damn, damn have these first two episodes been brilliant. The nuances in Okabe’s characterization, the portrayal of his grief, and his more mature attitude seem like a mirror of the watcher who has grown all the same in the seven years since the show’s original season. I’m hoping the teases about Maho as a potential love interest are a red herring, but other than that, I’m blown away by how good it has been so far. Just delete Daru please.

Card Captor Sakura: Clear Card: Things have started happening! We’re starting to see that Akiho’s mysterious book is somehow having an effect over the events of Sakura’s life. The episode with the animals was particularly strong, with a new card that had a nice renovated design, and a really emotionally effective scene of Sakura and Syaoran embracing to help Sakura regain confidence to save her friends. It’s one of the strongest episodes of the series so far, so hopefully we’ll have more of those and less of the “finding a card that only minimally makes 10 cm from a bookshelf disappear” type. As a sidenote, I find Akiho’s obsession with Sakura’s play a bit offputting.

High Priority

Mahou Shojo Ore: Given how little I knew about this series going in and how excited I was about it in spite of it, I’m pleased to report the show has lived up to my expectations in one way or another. The weird comedy is on point and also everyone is fucking gay. I’m rooting for you Blue Girl! Easily the superior show with Mahou Shoujo in its title.

Hinamatsuri: You know, I didn’t have super high expectations for this one, but it’s turned out to be a very nice surprise. It has that charming paternal relationship between Nitta and Hina that is cute and hilarious. I have to say I’m not super into the classmate-forced-to-become-a-bartender storyline and I’m not sure how that even fits with the rest of the show, so I hope there won’t be a lot of vignettes about it.

Piano no Mori: Wonky CGI and occassionally questionable character design choices (Ajino was so BEAUTIFUL in his youth, why does he look so ridiculous in the present?!!!) aside, this has been one of the strongest premieres of the season. I know fans of the manga have criticized it, but as someone unfamiliar with the original, I’m definitely intrigued by this story.

BESTEST

Megalobox: This one wasn’t on my radar at all. It’s one of those numerous cases of me seeing a title that sounds stupid and deciding to ignore the show based on that alone. I’m glad I stumbled on all the praise the premiere episode received because damn is it good. The story behind the cameras is that this is a 50th anniversary project for Ashita no Joe, and it was meant to be a reboot, but the director couldn’t find a way to make it work, so he created something entirely new, and aren’t we glad about that. It has a unique retro look and although the plot beats do call back to Ashita no Joe, our Joe feels like his own person alright. I think my only nitpick is that I’m not entirely sure of what is even the point of the additional gear. Also, I know how Ashita no Joe ends and I hope this show won’t end like that too :’D

Golden Kamuy: How long has it been since the last time a multi-awarded manga not only wasn’t disappointing but ended up being one of the most promising anime adaptations of the season? Yes, everyone’s seen the ugly CGI bear, moving on, this is a captivating and unique historical show with a so far excellent portrayal of Ainu culture and a kickass lady coprotagonist.  I am really excited to see where this one will go. Also, it was really exciting to hear characters actually speaking ainu language. I’ve done some research on Ainu history (and kickass Ainu women) for school, so I’m very pumped about this one.

Otaku ni Koi wa Muzukashii: By far my favorite premiere of the season. So far, two episodes in, it’s all I ever hoped it would be and more. The characters are charming, Narumi and Hirotaka’s relationship feels natural and effortless -both the romantic aspect of it, and the way they easily become comfortable with one another-. Narumi is delightful and very well-rounded, being as cheerful and optimistic as she can be cynical, and her quick-developing friendship with Hanako is so violently relatable I was screaming. I really love this show. ALSO THE OP IS SUPER CUTE

I FINALLY FINISHED WRITING THIS IT TOOK FOREVER BECAUSE THERE IS TOO MUCH ANIME

[dopajoda]

Anti-Trans Reporting and JK R

I was going to do a post trying to touch on everything around the misinformation about LGBT issues, but since things are picking up, I’m going to just jump in where we are. Yesterday provided examples of news propaganda as well as another dodgy JK Rowling effort. In response to the UK Government’s u-turn on the conversion therapy ban (which was promised by Theresa May when she was PM and more recently endorsed by Johnson) then subsequent u-turn where they said they would ban it except for trans people, there were protests in London, Belfast and Dublin. The screenshots of BBC and ITV tweets show a stark contrast in reporting. The BBC reports hundreds of protestors attended in London but ITV say thousands. Organisers estimate there were 3,000 in attendance. I was pleasantly surprised to see the ITV tweet and the replies from trans people thanking them are quite telling about what they’ve come to expect from the media. 

The pictures chosen are also quite enlightening. While ITV chose a picture featuring a diverse crowd, with no individual as the focus, in front of a banner, the BBC chose to centre a drag queen in theirs. Drag queens were there and of course welcome as a longstanding feature of LGBT culture. However, I feel that the BBC focusing attention on a drag queen contributes to the idea that trans women are just men dressing up as caricatures of women, which they’re not. Drag queens are men who dress up as women but they do it for entertainment purposes and it’s not their identity. 

I’ll come back to the BBC in a bit but JK Rowling was also at an event in London at the same time. Previously, in response to criticism of her comments about trans issues, she tweeted, ‘I would march with you if you were discriminated against on the basis of being trans.’ This was her first chance to do that. Trans people have literally just been discriminated against for being trans by the UK Government who described conversion therapy as ‘abhorrent’ have decided to ban it for everyone but trans people. Rowling chose instead to intend a much smaller gathering for lunch with a fringe lesbian group called Get the L Out, plus a few straight people who have become high profile because of their Gender Critical (GC - the more polite way of referring to people who are actively anti-trans). The group included MPs Rosie Duffield (Labour) and Joanna Cherry (SNP), a lawyer suing Stonewall and a couple of columnists who used to write for the Guardian but now regularly write anti-trans pieces for the Daily Mail and the Telegraph. Some of the attendees are also supportive of LGB Alliance (a group set up two years ago purporting to be about supporting LGB rights but whose sole focus is anti-trans policy) including the two MPs. Get the L Out’s founding principle was to have a separate group for lesbians away from men. That sounds absolutely fine but several of the people at the lunch are also supportive of LGB Alliance - the only thing they have in common is being anti-trans. 

While LGB Alliance are relatively new, Get the L Out have been going longer. I remember seeing them appear on the news because they gatecrashed a London Pride Parade, which I’ve just found was in 2018. They’ve failed to gain much traction though, with most lesbians interested in any sort of activism being trans-inclusive. JK Rowling, Rosie Duffield and Joanna Cherry’s meeting with them gives them a sense of legitimacy and recognition they previously couldn’t hope to achieve. This is a group who have claimed that trans women existing is rape of women and that they want to eliminate ‘transgenderism’ (a propagand term along the same lines as ‘the gay agenda). 

While still small and insignificant in reality, Get the L Out have made contributions to anti-trans misinformation which have been amplified. One example is what brings me back to the BBC. In October 2021, they published an article headlined: We're being pressured into sex by some trans women. The article had some vague comments from anonymous sources that referred to things such as trans women just being on a dating website as coercion. The only named source turned out to be someone herself accused of several instances of sexual assault, which she admitted to. The same person also published a rant about exterminating trans women on her blog after the BBC article was published. The BBC subsequently removed her contribution from their article. The other evidence was from a poll which was conducted by Get the L Out and had only 80 respondents, with just over half of them suggesting they agreed. The writer for the BBC took that along with the testimony of a sex offender as the basis for an article portraying trans women as predators. 

I know none of this has gone into the actual subject matter of trans issues but I just wanted to highlight how things are being so casually misrepresented, as well as how high profile people like JK Rowling making seemingly innocent comments and appearances can be so harmful.

[clockwork-dinosaur]

i give you the stars

my @rosemaryserver valentine gift for @roxy--lalonde :D!! soem fluffy starlight lesbians

~2200 words

The expansive blackness surrounded the meteor like a velvet blanket. Distant bubbles glimmered with their own internal light. Despite the speed at which they traveled, a bubble of stillness surrounded them, leaving Kanaya's skirt and hair undisturbed. Her hair curled around her upturned face in onyx coils, the only light on the flat gray expanse outside the halls of the meteor provided by Kanaya's luminescence.

She would never admit it, but Rose had searched innumerable rooms for Kanaya and there was a flood of relief when she finally saw her.

“Good evening, Kanaya,” Rose said, hoping her voice didn't betray the inexplicable shyness she felt in Kanaya's presence.

Without a start, as if knowing Rose was approaching from behind, Kanaya said, “is it really evening already?”

“According to our local time expert, yes,” Rose said as she stood by Kanaya, watching the void fly by. It was featureless and cold, starless except for the distant Green Sun, ever shrinking in the distance but still visible with the unaided eye.

“There isn't much to see out here,” Kanaya sighed. “I grew up surrounded by such color, it's a jarring and frankly depressing juxtaposition.”

“It is the void,” Rose pointed out. “The defining feature of void is that there's nothing in it.”

Kanaya laughed under her breath, her tiny smile not quite reaching her eyes. Rose felt the silence between them like a mountain, cold and insurmountable. Kanaya finally spoke.

“Though I was a creature of the day, I did spend my most sleepless nights watching the sky. Alone in the desert as far from cities as I was, I could see every star, glittering like jewels in silk. I spent hours out there with my lusus, wrapped up in her velveteen wings until she screeched at me until I went to sleep.”

Forlornly she stared into the void, not catching Rose's sad expression turning to one of deep thought.

Alchemizing the materials was easier than she expected. A small glass jar, black paint and some strong LED lights. Actually putting them together to realize the idea Rose had in her head, half remembered from online craft projects, was bound to be a whole different story. The first issue- getting the paint in the jar without leaving streaks, but also leaving tiny spots for light to shine through.

A god she may be, but she is not a crafts expert.

Putting that side as a problem for future-her, Rose grabbed her hot glue gun and the LED lights. They were brilliant for their size and let out a pleasantly warm glow. Careful to make sure the lid would still twist on to the jar, she glued the lights to the inside along with the button to turn them on.

It was barely step one, but still she looked at her handiwork with pride.

Se resented her five-minutes-past self as she looked at the glass jar again. At the black paint. Back at the jar. She had always thought of herself as rather clever, but trying to figure out how to paint the inside of the jar while leaving clear spots was stumping her worse than anything ever had.

Perhaps she was exaggerating, but her increasingly frustrated state she hardly cared.

She sat on her bed and sighed. Maybe it was a silly idea anyway, perhaps Kanaya would find it childish or her execution will be lackluster, or it won't even work as it was supposed to.

Groaning, she laid back on her bed and covered her face with her hands, resigning herself to giving up her silly project.

Then she exclaimed, “Tape!”

She scrambled out of bed and rooted around her messy desk, pushing aside pens and half-filled notebooks until she found what she needed. Meticulously she tore off tiny square pieces and stuck them inside the jar at random.

Painting, while messy, was simpler. Waiting for it to dry was by far the most difficult part, knowing that she had to wait hours to peel the tape bits off.

Only one thing left to do- actually get Kanaya to her room. Her laptop was loaded up with Alternian and earthen romance films. Soft pillows and blankets rested at the head of her bed. There were snacks and drinks prepared and everything.

The only thing missing was Kanaya's invitation.

She opened Pesterchum and clicked on Kanaya's name. Their most recent conversation was benign and casual, something about the most recent group activity Vriska had put them through. With fingers poised over the keyboard, she thought. And thought. And thought.

Her hands fell away from the keyboard. How does one ask a girl on a sort-of-date? Is that the kind of thing best done in person? Her awkward online courting was coming back to bite her, as things often did. In response, she did what she often did- procrastinated.

After fighting a hairband into her coils of platinum hair and making sure her orange robe wasn't stained (it wasn't, it never was), she ventured from her room and into the common room. Something about the layout of the meteor made it seem as if it was never in the same place, but just as easily found as it always was. Rambunctious shouts echoed down the hallway as she approached. Vriska and Terezi were apparently fighting for auditory dominance, and Rose steeled herself against the sonic assault as well as she could.

Seconds after stepping into the room, she was hit in the stomach by a pillow.

“Lalonde!” Vriska barked, hands on her hips. “A surprise attack could come at any moment, you need to be on your toes!”

The room was full of feathers and deflated pillows. The furniture was rearranged into some kind of fort situation, upon which stood Terezi, hair full of feathers and a wide grin on her face as she prepared to launch another pillow at whoever was unlucky enough to be in the crossfire.

Rose ignored the chaos, her heart in her throat. Sitting at the table with her face in a book, ignoring the shenanigans of Vriska and Terezi, was Kanaya. Feeling Rose's eyes on her, she looked up and smiled.

Another pillow hit Rose in the back of the head as she walked through the room, but she ignored it. This was her chance.

“Hello, Kanaya. What are you reading?” she asked conversationally as she sat, keeping her nerves firmly squashed.

“This one is an Alternian fairy tale: In Which A Young Troll is Trapped Within her Tower By a Controlling Lusus And Longs For The World Outside, And in her Eighth Sweep She Is Discovered By Her Future Matesprit-”

“Sounds like Rapunzel,” Rose said, looking at the cover.

Kanaya shrugged. “Perhaps, I know some of our stories are similar. Either way, it's a light read and I've finished the story many times now.”

She set the book aside and looked at Rose. “Have you read anything interesting lately?”

Rose's mind blanked. Of course she had, but under the weight of that electric gaze she couldn't remember a single title.

“Ah, yes! Quite a bit actually, but if I'm honest I've been too focused on my personal projects to read as much as usual.”

A very good save on her part, and completely truthful. Planning a date and making the star projector were technically personal projects, and-

“Oh? What kind of projects?”

Shit.

“Crafts mostly,” Rose said, laughing in a way she hoped didn't sound nervous. Judging by Kanaya's confused expression, she was doing a very bad job.

“Would you like to see?” Rose blurted without thought.

Kanaya smiled, surprised. “Certainly!”

With her stomach in nervous knots, Rose smiled. “Fantastic, I'll meet you in my room in a few hours.”

Rose hurried from the room before she could show any panic or be pelted by another pillow.

Standing in her room with her back to the closed door, Rose groaned into her hands. She thought she would have more time than this, more time to clean, to set things up, to make sure the star jar was perfect, to steel herself against her own nerves.

She uncovered her face and took a deep breath. No need to get overwhelmed. First things first- set up the movie. It was an easy task and put her in the preparation mood. Next she set the pillows along the side of her bed against the wall, making a makeshift couch. On the side table, she set up bags of chips and candy and bottles of soda; anything a distinguished movie-goer would be thrilled to dine on, she assumed.

Last but not least- the star projector. Peering inside the jar was fruitless- it was completely opaque. This was probably a good sign. Gingerly she began feeling the sides of the jar. The paint was dried and she let out a sigh of relief. She chipped the tape away as carefully as she could and let it flutter to the bottom of the jar leaving many tiny pinpricks of clear glass. She turns on the lights within the lid and screws it on. With the lights in her room on, it was not a spectacular sight.

But when she turned off the lights, her room was transformed. The warm light within left spots of diffused yellowed light across the walls and ceiling. She smiled widely, her heart leaping with excitement. It worked perfectly; the only thing left to do was show Kanaya.

For hours, Rose continued to organize the things that were already well organized. Checking and rechecking everything for lack of anything better to do with her nervous energy. Finally, there was a light tap at her door. She sprung to her feet and nearly tripped trying to reach her door. Without hesitation she opened it, and there stood Kanaya. Glowing brightly, dressed impeccably, and indescribably beautiful.

Rose forgot how to speak for a moment, but Kanaya had already begun.

“Hello, Rose. I hope I'm not too early but you never actually gave me a time to come over so-”

Rose winced slightly. “My apologies. I was going to pester you when I felt the time was right but...” She trailed off with no real excuse. “But this is the perfect time I believe, Come in!”

She stepped aside and let Kanaya in. Her feet padded across the overlapped rugs and she sat delicately on the edge of the bed. Her eyes wandered over Rose's charging laptop and the collected plethora of snacks on the desk.

“I was thinking we could watch a movie before we got into my silly crafts,” Rose said just a touch too quickly. With a pleasantly surprised smile, Kanaya nodded.

“That sounds nice, did you have one in mind?”

“I did,” Rose said coyly, turning off her lights. She sat up on the bed-turned-couch and Kanaya leaned back, their legs stretched out straight and touching thigh to calf. Rose balanced the laptop between them and started the movie- Tangled.

Sitting so close to Kanaya was breathtaking. She smelled herbal and faintly earthy, her skin was warm and hard against Rose's leg underneath the velvety cloth of her skirt, her breathing deep and even as she watched the film. As time went on, she found herself leaning closer and closer until her hear was resting on Kanaya's shoulder. Neither of them minded, and at some point their hands ended up linked.

As the movie came to an end, Rose took a deep breath. She shut the laptop and Kanaya began glowing instinctively, head tilted as Rose stood and grabbed the jar.

“If you don't mind, I need perfect darkness for this,” Rose said, and Kanaya obliged, leaving nothing but a faint afterimage in the pitch blackness. Heart pounding, Rose turned on her makeshift star projector.

At first, Kanaya seemed confused, eyes darting around the room. Realization dawned on her and her eyes widened, letting out an involuntary gasp as the stars glittered around her. They shifted slightly as Rose sat next to her, watching her face as Kanaya stared around the room.

“This is... amazing,” she breathed, turning to Rose with an awestruck expression. “Is this... Did you do this for me?”

Rose nodded, and Kanaya cupped her face in her hands, catching sight of both of their skin specked with golden light and grinning widely.

“Thank you. Nobody has ever given me the stars before,” she said quietly. Quickly, so suddenly Rose wasn't sure if it had really happened, Kanaya pressed her lips to Rose's. A telltale glow started on her face, only adding to the ambient light in the room.

“Do you think we could create our on constellations from this?” Kanaya asked excitedly.

“Absolutely,” Rose said, setting the jar on the middle of the floor and letting the stars take over the entire room. Curled around each other, Rose and Kanaya invented their own constellations; named after friends, after historical figures, after stories and animals and creatures of imagination. As the two drifted off to sleep under their own sky, Rose smiled.

art can be found on my art blog! | i can’t post this to ao3 right now but it will be up eventually so keep an eye out!

[ace-muslim]

Asexual Muslim resistance, activism, and self care: Creating Change 2017 and me

This post is for the February Carnival of Aces.

Author note: I originally intended to write this post soon after I got back from Creating Change a month ago. However, thanks to the start of my spring term Arabic classes the week after my return, to the emotional stresses of #MuslimBan that hit right after that, and to the need to get caught up on my other responsibilities while all this was going on, it’s taken me rather longer than I expected to actually get this post out!

I attended the Creating Change conference in Philadelphia from January 18 to January 22, 2017. I had several different goals for the conference, reflecting different facets of my identity and work:

connect in person with other aces

connect in person with other queer Muslims

attend anti-racism workshops to further my volunteer work with the Muslim Anti-Racism Collaborative (MuslimARC)

attend organization building workshops relevant to the needs of MuslimARC

attend sessions on spirituality and self-care to help me in coping with burnout

The fact that I could further my interests in so many different areas of my life is why I was so excited to attend the conference. MuslimARC is not an ace or queer organization but since I have access to the resources that Creating Change offers due to my own ace and queer identity, I figured I might as well take advantage of it.

To my delight, I was able to attain all of my goals for the conference and benefit in each of these areas of my life.

Due to the way my asexuality, my being a Muslim convert, and my accessibility limitations intersect, I have difficult in connecting with groups in my local area. The Muslim spaces nearby that I am able to get to are usually not welcoming to me and not places where I fit in at all. I have been making efforts for the last several years to show up anyway because I hoped that even a flawed space would be better than nothing, which is what I have otherwise and what I had for most of the time since I converted.

Creating Change offered a chance to participate in spaces that are more inclusive of my identities. These spaces were limited - just one panel and one official gathering for each of my core identities (the ace inclusivity panel and ace caucus on the one hand and the Islamophobia panel and jumu’a prayer service on the other) - or on the margins (the unofficial ace hospitality suite and the unofficial queer Muslim caucus) but they did exist. While I could see ways these groups might fall short of providing all the support I need on an ongoing basis, within the context of the conference just the fact that they were there at all was enough.

Beyond just finding community spaces where I could meet others who share identities with me, I was able to have deep conversations with David Jay and with queer Muslim activist leaders Imam Tynan Power and Palmer Shepherd telling them my personal story and the issues I experience and even advocating for greater inclusion of asexual Muslims. The Muslim Alliance for Sexual and Gender Diversity (MASGD), which both Ty and Palmer are actively involved with, has not made any efforts so far to reach out to asexual Muslims or even acknowledge in their public materials that we exist and I emphasized to Ty and Palmer how important it is to mention aces by name because otherwise we will assume that we are not welcome. Meanwhile, I gave DJ a reference to my Asexuality and Islam website and a printout of asexual Muslim data gleaned from the ace census, so that he can amplify these resources.

The most valuable thing about these three talks was that although each group represents only half of my identity by itself, I was able to share all of myself with them. These were probably the most deeply validating experiences of the whole conference for me. And while there is still no actual asexual Muslim community (a continuing frustration of mine), I hope that my work in these conversations can help other asexual Muslims as individuals find the same validation I did.

Meanwhile, as I attended the Racial Justice Institute and a session on building sustainable funding for nonprofit organizations, I found that I was able to reference MuslimARC frequently, contribute usefully to the conversations based on my experiences volunteering there, and learn some tools and frameworks that will be useful to MuslimARC’s work. I even decided it would be useful to list MuslimARC as my organizational affiliation at future Creating Change conferences to continue building in this area. This was a pleasant surprise.

Two other workshops I attended with a racial justice focus, the Police Violence Institute and the alternatives to law enforcement session, gave me something I hadn’t expected - an insight into how Creating Change can be useful to connect ace youth, especially those from marginalized backgrounds, to LGBTQ resources that already exist to help address the larger systemic issues they face. I was able to talk with the head of an LGBTQ center in Colorado about asexuality, discover that they are already seeing ace youth seeking out their resources, and connect them with Asexual Outreach to get information and resources on asexuality. The opportunities for networking at Creating Change are amazing and next year I might print out some resources from Asexual Outreach to be able to give to people!

On the spiritual front, I made use of the Many Paths Spiritual Gathering Place as a prayer room - with five daily prayers, the logistics of being Muslim at a busy conference can be tricky and having that dedicated space out of the crowds made things a lot easier. I got to know the spiritual care team there and through the centering care workshop and the session on building an authentic spiritual path. Because of the limited space provided for Muslims specifically at the conference, and because Ty is only one person, the spiritual care team ended up providing me with a lot of support and friendship I didn’t expect to receive. Beyond this, some of the practices and ideas I gained from these sessions are things I am slowly working to implement in my life back home with links to both queer spirituality and anti-racist self-work.

Speaking of the unexpected, the conference pushed me way out of my comfort zone in multiple ways. I was initially very anxious about wearing both hijab and obvious ace gear at an LGBTQ conference where I wasn’t sure either identity would be fully welcome - but I spent five days as a very visible asexual Muslim and most people hardly blinked.

I did experience a few microaggressions, all related to being Muslim (none were related to being ace). While I was attending the Police Violence Institute a white woman acted to me in a way that I found rather tokenizing (”I’ve never seen a queer Muslim before! Can I have your business card?”) and I had to spend several minutes educating her about effective allyship (build relationships with the affected community and learn what they need you to do, then do that).

Also, at the end of the ace caucus, a white ace came up and asked me if I was a nun (yes, I consider this a microaggression). I also got this question from a random stranger while I was buying food in Reading Terminal Market one afternoon. Still, I was expecting a lot worse than this and I was really very pleasantly surprised by how unfazed most attendees were by me. Shout-out to the hijabis who have attended past conferences and paved the way for me.

Besides wearing hijab and ace gear all the time, I ended up on stage during the opening plenary session (me? shy Laura?) and even attended the lesbian caucus. I wasn’t forced to come out as anything (except as Muslim because I was wearing hijab) since there was just a large group discussion I listened to but didn’t take part in. But this was the first time I had made a public connection for myself between being homoplatonic and lesbian identity. I’m still hesitant to identify as an asexual lesbian specifically, but I took a baby step that evening and I’m proud of myself for that.

As if all this wasn’t enough, I participated in the Philadelphia Women’s March draped in an ace pride flag (and wearing an ace pride hijab) and shouting slogans like “We’re here, we’re queer, we’re fabulous, don’t fuck with us” alongside Mary and Brian, which was pretty freaking awesome. Between that and being at a session on combatting Islamophobia and then at a queer Muslim prayer service during Trump’s inauguration, I figure I put a distinctively asexual Muslim stamp on my resistance that I plan to continue.

Creating Change 2017 was a life-changing experience that for the first time brought my whole self together in a single activist space. I’m still struggling every day with burnout but this was just the self-care I needed to help me get through a very tough time.

[acuppellarp]

Welcome to A Cup-pella, Ashley! We’re excited to have you and Serena Smythe in the game! Please go through the checklist to make sure you’re ready to go and send in your account within the next 24 hours.

OOC INFO

Name + pronouns: ashley, she/her. Age: 24. Timezone: EST. Ships: serena/chemistry. Anti-Ships: serena/no chemistry.

IC INFO

Full Name: Serena Odette Smythe Age/Birthday: 25; February 3rd, 1992. Personality: Abrasive, witty, confident, motivated, critical. Hometown: New York, NY. Bio:

As a Smythe woman, Serena’s role was very clear from the beginning–and, frankly, predictable. Her father, a prominent Wall Street CEO, spent most of his days out of the penthouse. Her mother, on the other hand, was a trophy wife, born and bred by the same family dynamic, and she did an exceptional job at burying any resentment she might have had in favor of smiling through business dinners and elegant parties. Serena didn’t mourn their respective absences, though she did love (respect?) them. From the beginning, she was given access to everything; superior education, a doting staff, and experiences that most of her peers would never get to enjoy. Boarding school in Paris, summers in Martha’s Vineyard. The whole nine yards.

Since she was a child, Serena was expected to uphold her family’s reputation. It was odd, the way she was supposed to get the best grades, take part in competitive extracurricular activities, and get into her father’s alma mater just to be a face for some future husband, yet those were the ideals that were continuously drilled into her head.  There was no mistaking her love for the spotlight, but to bust her ass for years only to end up just like her mother? No. Serena was capable of more.

Unfortunately, her access to her trust fund was greatly dependent upon her obedience, so.

It was this impersonal kind of upbringing that resulted in her admittedly bitchy demeanor. Serena was a Smythe, and that name came with a great deal of pull and cash, but she still faced her fair share of adversity. Her world was cutthroat, full of others just like her competing for their spot at the top. As if dealing with that as an adolescent wasn’t enough, at the age of sixteen, Serena was thrust into the spotlight when her father and his business partners were very publicly arrested for allegedly illegal offshore dealings. Although he was eventually cleared, the trial had been a media magnet, and the attention on her never quite died down after the scandal had. That’s not to say that she didn’t revel in the attention–on the contrary, she felt it gave her an edge among her peers and the opportunity to showcase just how superior she was.

But it required a certain front, growing up under the scrutiny of a bunch of people she’s never met doubled with the pressure from her parents, and Serena’s not really the easiest to get along with. Not that she tries. She’s accustomed to a certain caliber of people, and those who are beneath her aren’t usually worth her time, and those who aren’t typically don’t fight to be her friend, either. So. Serena’s grown up with primarily shallow relationships, full of cattiness and deceit, and she’d be a liar if she claimed she didn’t partake in a lot of the dirty work herself.

After graduating high school, Serena attended Cornell University as her parents always wanted, still attempting to fit in the box her parents expected her to be in. It wasn’t terrible, though she lived for her summers back in Manhattan. She found a makeshift home there on her own, and although it still carried the weight of her family name and shallow fame as a socialite, she found an escape in the form of A Cup-pella. It was small and quirky, and not really in a good way, but it provided a place for Serena to spend her days away from all the shit she was accustomed to.

Once she moved back to the city, Serena struggled. Not necessarily socially–as always, she spent most nights partying, sleeping with various women (her sexuality, though a somewhat tense spot for her parents, had always been a non-negotiable term on her end), and attending elite events. During the day, she continued to spend most of her time at A Cup-pella, even joining The Warblettes with some “friends” (really, Blair and some other vaguely tolerable women). But this life didn’t fulfill her, because in the end, she was never fit to marry rich and play house while she milked her family’s money. No, Serena wanted a career, refusing to abide by Smythe tradition.

She has yet to tell her father, but she’s been admitted to Columbia University to obtain her Master’s degree in Political Science. For all she knows, he’ll be pleasantly surprised–she’s always been headstrong–but she’s nervous nevertheless. In the mean time, Serena’s still milking her spot as a Upper East Side royalty and trying not to cause her family too much embarrassment, save for the typical “who’s she dating this week?” shenanigans.

Pets: A one year old rescued Pitbull by the name of Poppy. Although Serena likes to boast Poppy’s reputation to keep creepy men from following her in Central Park (and to earn the reputation of a tough Lipstick Lesbian™), Poppy is a sweetheart and the true Princess of the Smythe-Motta residence. At least as far as Serena’s concerned.

EXTRA INFO

[ This is for the masterlist, but also a fun little way to get to know your character! ]

Twitter name/description: Serena Smythe 🔥 @RenSmythe.  Socialite. Intelligent. Sexy. Please leave all misogynistic tendencies at the door. 👋💅

Five latest tweets:

@RenSmythe: Dear @PerezHilton–@PageSix figured out how gay I was in 2012. Try and stay relevant. @RenSmythe: I’ll be performing with @theWarblettes tonight at 8pm! You can leave directly after, though, unless you’d like to see an excessive amount of gyrating try-hards. #acapellacomeback @RenSmythe: #NYFW is my favorite week. I’ll be repping fellow #Cornell alum @BonnieYoung tonight! Check out her website ASAP. @RenSmythe: I have no interest in men to begin with, but even if I did, it wouldn’t be some guy who looks like he stepped out of a J.Crew catalog. #BrooklynProblems @RenSmythe: This bar smells like I imagine Hoboken does. The things I’ll do for @theWarblettes are astonishing.