#Waller can be cute and goofy when he wants to be

[moonbythecabstan]

Waller making his nickname on UpUpDwnDwn "Wallerby" is adorable. I love him.

[corellianangel]

Fan Review: Solo: A Star Wars Story

May contain minor/some spoilers after the cut.

I suspect that Solo: A Star Wars Story might be a bit like its title character. A bit rough at the start, maybe shady, pretty good-looking, and definitely out to get your money. But, as it goes on, it becomes more and more apparent how good and truly nostalgic and lovable it is.

This is a film that “nobody wanted.” Which means...what? I wanted it. When I saw Star Wars ANH, I wanted to know all about that cool Solo guy. And finally, 41 years later, I got my wish. And yeah… I’m mostly happy. After Last Jedi, I was pretty much done with the franchise, so it’s not like I went in with high hopes.

Solo is a relatively low stakes reprieve from the “we must save the world/galaxy/universe” all-or-nothing epic trope that has plagued us for the last few years. This is an adventure, a coming of age, and a western heist. Stakes are high, but only for the characters you are relating with onscreen, making it a curious addition to this year’s blockbusters.

Make no mistake; This is a love-letter to original trilogy Star Wars fans. It’s Han Solo in an Indiana Jones style adventure ( and what could be more fun than that).

4 out of 5 stars.

The first minute of Solo is exactly how a movie about the titular character should begin. But then it immediately lags, then even more so under ill-paced exposition. As soon Han goes solo though, it gains momentum. Then a short few minutes later as Woody Harrelson appears, things get rolling outright.

Alden Ehrenreich takes a bit of time to slide into Han’s scuffed boots, both onscreen and in our fan hearts. But when he does, it works wonderfully. He’s not the sexy gruff cynic Harrison Ford portrayed. No, he’s a “Kid,” who's got dreams. He’s a romantic. He’s wide-eyed, immature, and even petulant at times. But like Harrison’s portrayal, he’s arrogant, talented, goofy, jealous, easily embarrassed and will gladly spin a terrible lie. And oh yes… he can turn it on. Not at first, no… that’s really awkward ( more on that with Emilia). He’s not Harrison Ford by a long shot, but when given the chance later in the film, he makes a scene his own, and it’s HOT.

Unfortunately though, Alden is easily five inches shorter than 6’ 1” Harrison. And it’s glaringly obvious (especially to me, as I am quite a tall person). Sadly, Alden’s 1” platform 2”+ heel boots can only add so much. Otherwise, I’m satisfied with his portrayal. Alden’s a great actor, he had huge boots to fill, and I think he’s really been treated unfairly by the fans. Give the kid a chance, he might win you over.

Donald Glover IS Lando Calrissian though.  He’s sexy, sauve and even a bit silly ( in all the right ways… make no mistake).  I daresay Mr.Glover has taken Billy Dee William’s place in my heart as the epitome of Lando. Whether he’s coming on to Han, or Qi’ra or some unspecified alien species, he’s a pansexual on the level of Oberyn Martell from Game of Thrones. An arrogant playboy badass, who loves all the finest things. He is willing to enjoy everything life has to offer, and why not? It’s hard not to love him as a result. Lando movie, anyone?

Tobias Beckett is everything Han wants to be. Beckett is also in love with fellow crook Val, and his attachment to her is cemented firmly in a couple of scenes, which unlike the Han/Qi’ra scenes–have great chemistry. And Woody Harrelson’s portrayal of yet another grizzled mentor is stunning. I found him much more appealing than Harrelson’s equivalent character from Hunger Games. Though the mantel is starting to wear. Don’t get me wrong. I adore Woody Harrelson. His being in this film gave me a reason to think I might just like it. I’m just not sure I want to see him as yet another badass mentor after this.

When Thandie Newton appeared in Beloved back in 1998, I was an instant fan. I’d seen her before in a few other flicks, but she blew that one out of the water as the title character. Since then she had worked steadily in a number of critically acclaimed roles. I was absolutely thrilled to see her in this as Val. And utterly heartbroken that she was totally underused. When Val is onscreen, she overshadows everyone else, even Beckett. It’s a shame we don’t see more of her than we do. Boo!

Emilia Clarke as Qi’ra…Hmm.  She’s cute, charming, and tries her hand at swordplay here. But honestly, the Queen of Dragons is a poor fit. The original casting call was for anything other than yet another white brunette. And with amazing ladies like Tessa Thompson in the running, why oh why did we end up with Emilia? If not racism (God, I hope not); Ang’s answer: Think $$$, from Game of Thrones fans in theatre seats. I can think of no other reason. Her chemistry with Alden is tepid at best ( and any of that comes much, much later). I feel bad for Emilia here. I think she was miscast, and that tarnish will always stay with the fans. ( P.s. : the three adult heterosexual males I watched the movie with, were over-the-moon smitten with her. To each his own. I guess…)

On to the non-humans...

Joonas Suotamo as Chewbacca is physically brilliant. He’s stolen my heart as Chewie from the lovely Peter Mayhew (sorry Pete) over the last three movies. But honestly, we discover nothing new about Chewbacca in this. Zero. It’s rather unfortunate. I wish I could say more. But we learn more about Chewie in episode three than this. A missed opportunity. Sorry Chewie. For some reason Disney put your character in the doghouse here.

L3-37 is another definite weak spot in Solo. We have a snarky female droid (yay!) as a droid-rights advocate (cool!).  But it’s so completely overwrought. Only Lando’s constant eye rolls save this character from being as ridiculous as Jar Jar Binks. Which is another shame, because I felt she fills in the current canon equivalent of Lando’s copilot droid Vuffi Raa, from the EU/Legends novels from waaay back in the 1980’s, (interestingly they are both pilots, are both self-aware droids and have vaguely parallel fates) Some editing issues arise as far as L3′s character is concerned too. She’ll be leaning, casually watching,  while droids are being slaughtered in front of her, but only interferes with other robots later in the same scene? Why?? Were the first dead droids not good enough for her to save? It’s inconsistent, poor editing; and that really hurts the character. Sorry Phoebe Waller-Bridge, you did great job with what you had. I’m not sure that the script/editing was as good as you deserved.

The spaceship the Millennium Falcon is 100% a full character in this too. Without giving too much away, she represents her pilots as they sit at the helm. She’s treated with more respect - reverence even -  in this, than any other film. And I can say this is her movie as much as it is Han’s. Millennium Falcon fans, you are in for a treat!

And the bad guys...or one guy anyways....

Paul Bettany is chilling and utterly convincing as the gangster Dryden Vos. He also has much better chemistry with Qi’ra than Han.  I’m fairly certain this is mainly due to Paul’s astonishing acting ability.  He first came to my attention as the title character in the darkly funny UK crime film Gangster No.1. I was floored by him then and he’s still blowing me away, even as the rather challenging character Vision in the MCU. Bettany does not disappoint in Solo either. He took over this role with zero preparation, with the weight of replacing another respected actor at the last minute in an extremely troubled production. And the optics of having a white European actor taking over from an African-american are...ermm...not the best. He pulls it off, though. But I can’t help but wonder what Michael K Williams would have brought to the role. Vos is a soulless psychopath under Bettany, not unlike his character in Gangster No.1.  Would Williams have brought the tragic–almost romantic deep spirit and inner strength he brought to his gangster Chalky White in Boardwalk Empire to Vos instead? It’s rather sad we will never know.

I don’t think I can say much else about the other antagonist(s) without spoiling a bunch. But let’s just say...wow! Well done! Surprises and fan service all around!

There is something missing here too. We never see Han as an imperial pilot. Nor the promised Shakespeare-inspired comedic comic book characters that Ron Howard teased last fall.  These gems may be reserved for DVD releases, but I feel Han’s missing academy stint is definitely a gap in this story. And the movie lacks because of it.

Importantly, I do recommend seeing this in IMAX 2D as it is a very dark and muted film.

The usual amazing, special effects, costumes and sets we’ve come to expect from the Star Wars film franchise are all present here.  The styling is different from the previous films, as it takes place about halfway between Episode Three and Rogue One.  It’s neat to see the evolution of the Empire’s gear. 

And the easter eggs are everywhere; prequels, Rebels, Clone Wars, Star Tours ( the Disney Park ride), the comic books from the 1970′s and 80′s, the EU/Legends Han Solo novels by Brian Daley, the Lando Calrissian novels from the same era are especially referenced numerous times. Even the Indiana Jones franchise gets a significantly placed nod.

To say the least, the fan-service is strong with this one.

But not the Force. Not at all. None of that simple tricks and nonsense here at all.

Because I’m a pretty hard-core fan, I pre-bought two showings on initial release. The first time I saw Solo, I was unsure if I actually liked it, but it seemed to be a decent film.  The second viewing ( the same night) was an absolute joy. Times three and four were with different groups of adults, and they all had a blast. Five was with a group of 13 year old girls, and they all enjoyed it too.

So let’s call my rating of Solo then, 4 out of 5 stars. 

Honestly I don’t get the backlash against it.  Don’t take your Last Jedi hate out on this. It’s a fun ride with decent jokes and no space-boob-milk monsters—honest!

And if you think Solo offers nothing different, new, or imaginative. You are 99% correct...Remember, we got that full package of “different and innovative” in Last Jedi. If that’s your schtick, watch that one instead then.

Oh, and one more thing- that 1%?... two words:

Shower scene.

[taiblogcomics]

And a Clown Shall Lead Them

Hey there, chips so spicy your eyes water just from opening the bag. Know what? I'm gonna leave you on that little cliffhanger. Let's do at least an issue or two of Suicide Squad while I wait for my next order to come in~

Here's a cover:

I think this yet another Harley costume. As a time-honoured tradition, let's critique it! Starting from the bottom... is she wearing a second pair of boots over the first? I've never seen laces that stop, make a bow, and then continue up again. It's certainly quirky, I'll give her that. Fishnets are fine, but it's mysterious that goes over her cutie mark, or whatever that diamond is supposed to be. She also has mysteriously tan skin. Next, those are probably the shortest shorts I've ever seen. If it wasn't for the belt, I'd say there were just underpants. Are the rips in her shirt deliberate or not? If yes, they look terrible; if not, why was it necessary to include? Just to flash a bit of cleavage? Come on now. As usual, her neck decoration (neckoration?) is terrible, but I like it more than the bells or Shakespeare ruff. All I'm saying if you're going to go fashion scarf, go long and dramatic. The Sailor Moon hair is all right, though. Does Michael Jackson know she's borrowing his jacket? And the kicker: she doesn't even wear this outfit in the actual comic, so what was even the point~?

The rest of the cover is even weirder, and thus deserves commenting on. A pastel rainbow of the other Squad members all twisting together? I don't know what it's supposed to be symbolic of, and I probably don't want to~

Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, Rick Flag is dead or lost in another dimension, and thus the Suicide Squad is out a leader. That's where we pick up, with Katana posing in a skintight suit as a full-page splash. It feels kind of gratuitous, but hey, at least points for the suit not hugging every contour of her chest. Apparently, she likes to strike this pose mid-battle, as she is auditioning for the spot of team leader while also sparring with some robots. Her offer is simple: she's the only one left who's not a criminal. Waller says she sees different: since Katana talks to the ghosts in her sword, she feels at home among the crazies. However, she's not out of the running. Waller will review the other candidates, then get back to her.

So, next candidate: Captain Boomerang? Ha. Do I even need to summarise? Waller refuses to give him a raise and also takes one of his beers. He obliges to open her bottle with a boomerang toss, but denies that he killed Hack. Waller moves on to Harley Quinn, who a couple of guards are bringing food. Waller just stands back and watches as she tosses the meal asides and instead beat the shit out of the guards. Waller notes that since Flag's death, Harley's been giving in more to her darker side. And just to keep this nice and not-at-all subtle, the ghostly face of the Joker appears behind Harley as she says this. It's still a stupid direction to take her character~

Meanwhile, in New York City, Killer Croc and June Moone walk down the street, arm in arm. People panic at seeing them, which is not at all how New Yorkers would react, so they must be passing some tourists. Some asshole keeps following them around yelling "Shoot it! Someone please shoot it!", which is obnoxious. How would you feel if someone kept doing that while you were on a date? They go dancing and skating, take photos, Croc accidentally falls through a bench... It's honestly the best fucking scene in the comic. I like when Croc is depicted as more than just some brute. However, June's pretty bummed, because she can't get anyone to look at her portfolio. No one wants to hire an ex-con, and who's going to believe in someone who can become an evil witch at a moment's notice? Croc says he believes in her. Aww. I ship it~

And with that, June takes the confidence Croc has in her, gets dressed, and takes her portfolio to an office. It's basically her last chance to get someone to look at her art, and Croc even sits in the sewer below the building eating rats to support her. However, he worries that, while he wants June to get what she wants, he fears once she does, she won't want him anymore. Alas, though, her portfolio is rejected, and it's not June Moone who storms out, but the Enchantress. If they don't like June's art, let them suffer the works of Enchantress. And Manhattan is plunged into mid-day darkness...

Waller stops by Hack's room, observing how it's covered in Harley merchandise (who the heck is producing this stuff?) and wondering how anyone sane lead these people. Cosmonut, whose cell is along the way, offers his usual "peanut emoji" response,  and she says thanks for the advice, but no. Everything about Cosmonut is deeply confusing. She then passes Deadshot's cell, who tells her not to even bother asking. He already knows what happens to those who work close with Waller, gesturing with his mechanical arm. Waller tosses him the bottle she picked up from Boomerang, and he shoots it. He offers two legit reasons why she doesn't want him: A, he still plans to kill Katana for taking his arms, and 2, he always goes with the most profitable option. Being leader is not that option. Flag was leader, and now he's dead.

So we cut back to Enchantress unleashing her magics, as it were. She continues ranting until she senses a presence approaching. It's Croc carrying a cowering suit guy, who admits that it was his assistant who rejected her portfolio. He's had his own look and thinks she has promise. This is enough to sate the Enchantress and return her to her form as June Moone. Frankly, I believe between Enchantress and being carried by the collar by Croc, he probably would have admitted he was Mother Theresa. And so June dispels her magics and becomes herself again, clinging to Croc and thanking him for his help. The skies around Manhattan return to normal.

And so, the team gathers once more to hear Waller's final decision. And the new leader of the Suicide Squad will be... [drum roll, opening the envelope] Harley Quinn! No, really. She protests, but both Waller and Deadshot agree that Harley's the one that always makes the team pull together and do the job, even when the threat of the brain bombs was gone. Harley finds this to be so much bullshit that she attacks Waller, but Katana blocks the attack, which Waller counted on. That's why Katana didn't become leader: because she's much better at being subservient than leading. And with that, Waller gives the team their next mission: go assassinate Direktor Karla of the People. Man, are we still on this "the People" storyline~?

Everything else dumb and goofy about this episode is worth putting up with for the three pages or so of Croc and June having a cute domestic relationship. Can that be the whole comic from now on? Please? I know it can’t happen, I’ve read the next 18 or so issues, but seriously, I’d use up a genie wish to retroactively change them.

As for the rest of it, I hate to admit, but the choice of Harley as leader is pretty sound. She did get them to get back together and work as a team. I just don’t think it meshes well with this whole “Harley is regressing into being more like the Joker” plot, which is a stupid idea in the first place. Instead of being more like the Joker, who she hates, wouldn’t a much better story have her try to be more like Rick Flag, the guy she’s broken up about? The actually decent person on the team? It would help explain what pushed her to the heel-face turn she eventually makes in her solo series. That would be actually good storytelling~

Anyways, next issue, they’re gonna go kill Director Karla, I guess. What fun~?