#Wade loves Derek
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Second finished story!
#ao3#jugulate ao3#jugulate#jugulate writes#jugulatewrites#ao3 author#fanfic#fic#fic writer#rare pairings#deadpool#wade wilson#derek morgan#geralt of rivia#bucky barnes#steve rogers#original female character#Derek Morgan x Wade Wilson#Wade loves Derek#Derek loves Wade#second fic#pure smut#unapologetic smut
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hi!! i have a request! (if that’s alright!)
it’s based on that episode in season 4 where there’s the anthrax lightbulb guy and spencer gets infected, i remember at the end derek is beside him when he’s in hospital and derek’s eating jello and i thought it would be cute to imagine it was reader instead of morgan :) the episode is 4x24 if you need it !! (at the end of the episode i believe)
i love your work so so much :D
Green Means Go - S.R
spencer got exposed to anthrax, and you're not taking it well. instead of admitting that, you watch him eat terrible hospital jell-o and make fun of his life choices.
pairings: spencer reid x reader warnings: hospitals, anthrax exposure, mutual pining, pre-relationship, hand holding!!!!!!, cutey banter wc: 1k
“You know, Spencer, most guys just fake a cough when they want attention. You really went all out.”
Your voice comes out lighter than it should, flippant in a way that doesn’t match the stiff knot in your gut. He looks at you like his brain is wading through something thick.
Oh, great.
Either he’s about to pass out, or he thinks you’re funny. One of those should make you feel better, but it really, really doesn’t. His eyes catch the light, drowsy, and you can’t tell if that glint is him laughing at you, barely holding it together, or just riding the high of the meds in his bloodstream.
You turn your hands into loose fists, force your nails into your palms, try to channel that jittery energy into something that doesn’t make you look like you’re falling apart.
Normally, Spencer is your outlet for that. You wouldn’t hesitate to reach out, to grab at his wrist just to feel his pulse under your fingertips, to cram against his side without thinking, without worrying about how pathetic it might look.
You’re a touchy person — always have been, always will be. And Spencer, despite his usual aversion to casual contact, lets you get away with it.
He lets you smooth down the collar of his shirt when it’s sitting wrong, nudge his knee under the table when he’s practically vibrating out of his seat, slip an arm through his on bad days.
But right now, with the scratchy hospital gown and the stiff sheets and the way his body still looks too drained, you hesitate.
You don’t know if he’d want that right now. Don’t know if that would feel good or just too much. And the thought of reaching for him only to be turned away, even just a little, it might do more damage than the anthrax ever could
“Yeah, well, I like to commit to the bit.” His voice is raw, like it’s been scraped clean with sandpaper, but at least he still has enough energy to be a little shit about it. “Though, in retrospect, this wasn’t my best plan. Next time, I’ll just… throw myself down the stairs or something. More drama, less biological warfare.”
His fingers twitch once against the sheets, but he doesn’t reach for you, either.
“Spencer. I feel like we need to have a conversation about healthier ways to seek validation.”
He exhales something close to a laugh. You take it as a win.
Satisfied, you shift, resting your elbow against the mattress, chin dropping into your palm as you settle in beside him, studying every small movement like you’re waiting for some proof that he’s really, truly fine.
Your free hand gestures toward his untouched Jell-O. “You planning on eating that?”
Spencer eyes the dessert with mild surprise, then glances at you. “It’s green.”
“It is.”
He stares at it a second longer, weighing the moral implications of hospital gelatin, before murmuring, “That’s my favorite.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“How?”
You tap the side of your temple knowingly. “Psychic abilities.”
He rolls his eyes, but you just smile. Because the real answer is that you notice these things.
He always goes for green if there’s a choice. One time, on a case in Florida, he’d grabbed a green lollipop from a bowl at a witness’s house without thinking. Or the time in Georgina, standing outside some dingy gas station, when you handed him a green apple Hi-Chew and he didn’t even blink before popping it into his mouth.
He never complains about red but never picks it first and he once said artificial grape flavoring tastes like medicine.
You had filed this away with all the other small, inconsequential details that feel a lot less inconsequential when they belong to him.
So no, not psychic abilities, just years of paying attention.
The Jell-O makes the most god-awful squelch as Spencer stirs it with his spoon, and you wrinkle your nose. It wobbles violently, catching the light in a way that makes it look more like a science experiment than food, but he doesn’t seem to care.
By the time he gets to his third bite, he’s looking at you again.
“You tired?”
You don’t answer right away. Mostly because your cheek is smushed against your arm and moving feels like an unnecessary effort. You feel warm, but you can’t tell if it’s the temperature in the room or the fatigue that’s been trailing you since the moment he started coughing. Probably both. Definitely both.
“Not really,” you murmur, but your eyes are already sliding shut, not believing you.
Spencer hums, swirling his spoon through what’s left of the Jell-O. He takes another bite, shifting like he’s making more room for you.
“You’re not really selling it.”
You grumble something — definitely words, probably — into the crook of your arm, making no effort to clarify. If he wants to know, he can learn to speak fluent tired mumble.
“What was that?” Spencer prods, way too entertained. “Couldn’t quite catch that over the sound of you obviously falling asleep on me.”
You grumble again, shifting aimlessly, and before you know it, your head ends up resting against his calf. Not fully, but enough to feel the heat of him through the too-thin hospital blanket.
You watch his hand move, fingers idly tapping against the now empty Jell-O cup, and your own twitch against the sheets, mirroring the movements before you even realize it.
You really want to touch him.
Spencer notices. He exhales through his nose, then, without a word, grabs your hand, sliding his fingers between yours.
You smile and your thumb brushes over the back of his hand. "You’re so bad at resisting me.”
Spencer’s laugh is soft, fond. “That’s not true.”
It is. But you’re too tired to argue.
Somewhere, you think you hear him murmur something else — something lower, something meant just for you — but your body is already losing the fight against sleep.
It doesn't matter.
He’s here, and you’re here, and he’s okay. That’s all you need.
💌 masterlist taglist has been disbanned! if you want to get updates about my writings follow and turn notifications on for my account strictly for reblogging my works! @mariasreblogs
#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid#dr spencer reid#criminal minds fic#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid hurt/comfort#🌺 maria writes
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Hi! Love your blog and the information you share. Can we see some black herons? They are elegant goth water birds with beautiful plumage. They're also kind of goofy with their canopy feeding method, like a goth with a black parasol. Most people probably recognize them from a BBC series as the "Nighttime! Daytime!" bird. Recently, Ze Frank's True Facts featured black herons, "I mess with the fishes!" We need more black herons in our dashboards. Thank you!
Hello yes, absolutely, every hair on my body this is a really wonderful wading bird…


Black Egret aka Black Heron (Egretta ardesiaca), family Ardeidae, order Pelicaniformes, Lake Naivasha, Kenya
Photograph by Tony Castro


Using its wings to create shade, which may attract some small fish, but also reduces the glare over the water making it easier to find prey,  Marievale Nature Reserve, South Africa
Photograph by Derek Keats
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~You're still my person. Even if I'm not yours.~
"To love in silence is to ache with the hope of being seen, yet fearing the pain of remaining unseen."
Synopsis- You attend J.J.'s wedding. The reception is beautiful except for one thing: watching the love of your life pine for another.
Category- Angst (unhappy ending)
Notes - This is meant to be one part, but I can add a happy ending if you need it, unrequited love, one-sided pining, angst without a happy ending, this one is going to hurt, this was all I could think of when watching the episode, self-loathing, self-hating language.
⋆⁺₊⋆ ━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺₊⋆
You were happy for J.J., you really were. She had almost lost Will and Henery in the span of a day. It was unsurprising that she bit the bullet and decided to marry the father of her son.
The reception was just as beautiful as the bride herself as she walked down the aisle in her mother's wedding gown. It was a surprise, the wedding, thrown together by both Will and Rossi.
But it was bittersweet. Despite the thrumming, electric air of the night, you felt empty.
You had known for quite a while that Spencer was in love with J.J. It was apparent and frankly quite obvious, from the prolonged, yearning glances he tossed her way. The frantic worry he would give her if she was hurt or in danger. He didn't show that type of worry to anyone else, not even you.
Yes, he cared deeply for his team - it would take a bullet for them - but not to the point of almost wild, feral paranoia.
You weren't sure if anyone else noticed the way he acted around J.J. or the way he would look at her when she wasn't looking. Maybe it was because you were in love with him as much as he was in love with her.
You focused on the minute details of his behavior, hoping to gleam a fraction of the affection that was directed at her. Most of the time, you saw things you knew you didn't, making quick glances and friendly smiles into something they weren't just to save yourself the heartache.
But now she was getting married. And you could see he was miserable.
He hid it well, timing his smiles and laughter with everyone else's, patting Will on the back in congratulations while keeping that deep-set look of anguish off his face.
But when no one was paying attention, no one but you, his face fell, and that tight-lipped smile faded into misery.
He watched her every second, admiring her from afar as she walked down the aisle. As she kissed Henery before looking up at Will on the altar. He winced and closed his eyes when the couple leaned in to seal their marriage with a kiss.
Penelope had asked if you were okay, wondering why you were so quiet on such a momentous occasion. But if Spencer could hide his feelings for J.J. from the team, then you could remain undetected as well.
When the afternoon bled into a beautiful moon lit night, the glittering lanterns lighting up the yard in which Rossi hosted, you felt hopeless.
Both because you desperately wanted to wipe that sad look off of Spencer's face and because your bubble of delusion was popped.
For years, you secretly hoped he felt the same for you. From the brief glances of adoration, he would throw at you to the blinding smiles he would greet you with. There was not a moment you hoped you weren't overthinking every little reaction, every little touch or laugh.
Turns out you were just as delusional as the monsters you hunted. To think you were good enough to possibly become the object of Spencer's affection. To think you were brilliant enough to even gain his attention, to interest him beyond friendship.
You sat at the table, sandwiched between Penelope and Derek and across the table from Spencer, knee deep in self-loathing. It felt like you were wading through sludge, the world around you moving slow like dripping honey.
You caught Spencer's eye, and he offered you that same tight-lipped, polite, 'I'm definitely not okay if you look past my quickly crumbling mask of normalcy!' smile. You offered one back.
It was safe to assume he was feeling just as broken as you were at that moment, watching the love of his life look at someone else with such adoration and love.
And it broke your heart. Made you feel like a self-absorbed pile of human shit because here you were, wallowing in your own internal battle while Spencer was shattering before you.
You look at him, trying to subtly ask him if he is okay with your eyes. You hoped he wasn't so out of it with sorrow that his profiling skills were rendered useless.
He simply looked away as Rossi stood and tapped his fork against his glass. David gave a heartwarming speech about timing and happiness, pointing a loving hand towards the grinning couple at the head of the table.
Everyone was clapping and smiling, congratulating the newlyweds and their wishing their future the best. Even Spencer was participating, his manurisms and expression genuine for the first time that night.
When they kissed again, Spencer stood and excused himself. No one was really paying attention to him, more focused on each other and the joy that filled the air. No one even thought of sadness being present at a time like this.
You cought Spencer's expression as he walked into the house and you were standing before you could even think.
"Where's the fire, sugar?"
Penelope asked, your studden movement gaining the attention of the technical analyst.
"Bathroom."
You murmured, more focused on reaching Spencer than drawing the curious eye of the infamous meddler.
You were in the house and wandering the halls before she could say anything else, your eyes peeled for any indication as to where Spencer went.
He wasn't on the first floor, nor the second, not in the garage or in the kitchen. You couldn't find him, no matter where you looked. Hell, you even looked in the linen closet.
When you pass the mud room, you see a tall, lanky silhouette in the stained glass of the front door.
You were twisting the knob not a moment later, heart racing a mile a minute. Spencer was standing on the porch, still as a statue. You could see the tension in his body, in the way he held his hands at his sides, the way his shoulders never seemed to relax.
You know he heard you open the door, knew his moment of peace was interrupted.
"Are you okay?"
You ask, testing the waters by gently closing the door and standing next to him. You didn't look at him, no matter how bad you wanted to.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
His voice was carefully crafted, even, and steady. If you didn't know him, you would have thought everything was fine and dandy. But you did know him. You knew him like the back of your hand.
There was a strained layer to the way he spoke. It was the same tone he used on you and the team while he was addicted to Dilaudid, the same tone he used after Gideon left. Carefully hidden turmoil so he didn't have to burden anyone with his 'pathetic' emotions.
You knew him too well.
"You can talk to me, Spence."
"I'm fine, really. I just needed some air."
The lie was blatant on his face. He was begging you to drop it to leave him be so he could keep his composure until he was alone in his apartment. You didn't want to leave it alone, his pain bleeding into yours, amplifying all the hurt and hopelessness you'd felt all night.
"Spence-"
"Drop it."
That sadness, that misery that swirled beneath the surface, was replaced with ire. You knew he didn't mean to take it out on you but in your already fragile mental state the glare he pinned you with cut so deep you feared you'd never stop bleeding.
He left, shouldering past you and back into the house to most likely join the party with his fake fucking smile and his painfully obvious suffering.
You couldn't move, couldn't get your legs to take you back no matter how hard you tried. You were stuck, both emotionally and physically.
The next breath you took left you staggering. You had to sit, had to prevent the inevitable collapse you were destined to have. The cold, hard wood of the porch bit into your knees as you dropped, a broken sob wrenching its way out of your throat.
Another one clawed past that lump, building, and building until you couldn't hold back any longer. You bit your lip, tasting the blood that spilled into your mouth as you tried and failed to keep your sobs a bay.
The wails of agony had you hunched in on yourself, the power of them shaking your body and scratching your throat. Briefly, you thought of gaining the attention of any of the partygoers, your shattering drawing them to the porch so they could bear witness to your destruction.
You'd rather die than succumb someone to that, so you bit down on your knuckle. You were still so loud, your lip and knuckle aching from your teeth.
The door opened, and you froze, body still shaking with emotion as you lay there in a heap of pity.
"Oh my god, sugar plumb!" Penelope gasps, rushing to your side and leaving the door wide open. "What happened?"
You continued to sob uncontrollably, hands absently reaching for Penelope’s hand and drawing yourself into her comforting embrace.
Your words were broken by hiccuping wails, face wet with snot and tears.
"I love him, Pen."
"Will?"
She pulls back and looks at your broken face, holding you by the shoulders as she levels you with a confused face.
"No, Spencer."
You'd never said it out loud before, and now that it was out in the open, it felt as if your entire world was just tilted on its axis.
"Oh, honey pot,"
She draws you into her embrace again, smoothing your hair with gentle pets, cooing sweet nothings until you are numb. Quiet and calm, but numb. Void of the emotion that so fiercely burned within you just moments ago.
"He loves someone else."
You say pathetically, your voice monotone and as empty as you feel.
"I know, sweetheart, I know."
"I can't stand it anymore, Pen. Watching him yearn for her."
"Shhh." She coos, wrapping her arms tightly around you. "Everything will be okay."
⋆⁺₊⋆ ━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺₊⋆
Three months have passed since the wedding. Everything wasn't okay.
You walked the earth with that same, cold, unending nothingness that overtook you that night in Penelope’s arms.
She made it her mission to make you feel better. Making jokes, setting you up, hosting girls' night out, and slumber parties. Everything she could think of, she dragged you along with her. But it felt like your world ended that night.
Spencer wasn't the same either. He didn't ask you to go to the library with him, didn't try and pull you along with him and Penelope to their various conventions, and didn't smile at you when you greeted him.
He was numb too.
There was a loss of two loves that evening, a great love story missed. The paths of fate are so close yet they never converge, never collide.
You went on a blind date once.
Never again.
He was fine. He was smart, handsome, and funny. But not as smart, as handsome, as funny. He wasn't Spencer.
It felt like you missed your chance, that if you did something better, something right, he would have chosen you. You could have made him happy.
"The heart wants what it wants. There is no logic to these things. You meet someone, and you fall in love, and that's that." - Woody Allen.
#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#no use of y/n#angst#unhappy ending#angst no comfort#Spotify
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Wade feels guilty for moving on from Vanessa. She was the one thing he could count on for so many years- she was there through so much and had helped every step of the way- and it felt wrong to not love her the same way anymore.
He knows she has moved on too- with Derek or Dermot or whatever- but it feels strange.
Wade loves Logan, don't get him wrong, it's just that sometimes it feels like he's cheating on Vanessa- even though they haven't been together for years. He has moments of a strange guilt that builds in his stomach, moments of worry and panic that Vanessa will see them together and get upset, moments where he remebers doing the same stuff with Vanessa and misses it.
It's stupid, he knows it's stupid, but he can't help how his fucked up brain handles this shit. He never let's either of them find out though- because it would be wierd to talk about- wouldn't?
"Hey babe, sometimes I feel guilty I'm with you because I remember doing these things with Vanessa" isn't exactly something he can just say.
Eventually Logan notices somethings off- notices Wade zone out randomly or stop holding hands as soon as Vanessa is near them- and he brings it up with Wade.
Wade panics- naturally- tries to avoid the conversation as much as he can. It works for the first few attempts, but then Logan corners him in the bedroom and suddenly it's all spilling out.
It makes him feel worse, telling Logan. He has to say "I love you" every other sentence to make sure Logan understands that he truly does love Logan, that he doesn't love Vanessa anymore, but his mind still fucks with him.
And he expects to be met with anger or yelling, but he isn't. Logan just hugs him tight and tells him that he gets it. He had the same thing with Scott after Jean passed, and that if he ever needs to talk that he's there.
It feels wrong to have Logan understand, and maybe put of him was hoping things would blow up simply because that was what he was used too, but he's glad it didn't. Glad Logan understands.
He still feels guilty- still gets those pangs- but he learns to talk about it. To feel okay with moving away from Vanessa.
#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#deadclaws#wade wilson#deadpool 3#deadpool#logan howlett#wade x logan#logan#wade winston wilson
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Songs for the Noosciocircus cast
From its playlist
Bolded is anything I have plans for
Caine
KEEP — LVCK
Maybe this next adventure will be enjoyed. Keep them sane. Keep them sane. Keep them sane. They are stuck in his mind but so is he.
Kinger
Cruel World — Active Child
Incircus. Spouse has abstracted. Years of kicked cognition. Time passes quietly and painlessly, unless introduced to darkness. A willing adoption of a blindfold. The circus’ most genuine and accessible source of warmth.
Ragatha
Sadly no song yet
Jax
Future Kids of America — Derek Pope
Incircus. Making agents’ interactions with him hell. Internally maps the simulation over the years. Friends abstract. Escape stays unsure. The bright white of everything is a nightmare without eyelids. The grounds extend indefinitely in all directions yet feel like a closed room.
stare at the sun — Max Fry
Incircus. Foregoing starting friendships. Some agents still interact with him amicably. Treating others like human beings would understandably keep them sane. Not much else to do but nip those buds now and then. Surveying is constant work. No one in this circus would appreciate what he does unless it yielded something anyway. Not that he’s ever mentioned it.
Gangle
Take Me Home — PinkPantheress
Preinsertion. Enlisting into the navy with the faint hope that it will give her a future. Years pass and she earns her discharge. Something is still wrong and it seems to have always been. A job is offered by a technology company. Nowhere is home anymore.
lost — DudePlaya
Incircus. Vining emotional attachment to another agent, the resident nootic health supervisor. Someone who seems to care. At least, in a clinical way. The logic of her most recent sanity maintenance advice seems to be deteriorating. She feels warm to the touch but it’s not like she aims to be toward anyone in particular. Or maybe she does. It’s nearly impossible to tell as her expressions are shudders of smoke, ash, and terracotta. She’s unreadable even with her voice intact.
Zooble
Lost Woods — Derek Pope
Newly inserted. Learning the “faces” of the people inside. A semiohazard blooms in the sky. Another agent stands quietly and does not look at it. Her face darkens with markings of sadness. The rest of the agents wade in a lake that reflects the white sky. They were both artists once.
NOVEMBERR — Miguel Angeles
The instant after extraction. Seeing what has happened to their colleagues’ bodies in reality before noticing their own. Bloodshot eyes and cold sweat. They’d be restrained for their horrified anger if their atrophied limbs didn’t already immobilize them. Screams of mourning. They will have their day in court, and will walk again out of spite.
Little Ghost — Provoker
In recovery. Acknowledging lost dexterity and limbs. Stabs of post traumatic sadness. Love flows easier than expected. Worries finally rest from years of exertion.
Pomni
Sadly no song yet
The Circus
While not a character, a cold and painful place nested with hazards outside of Caine’s control.
RUN - Slowed — N!GHTvisiøn
Endless semiotic subjection. The sky and ground thrum with infrasonic.
Listen To Me — Alex Somers
Inescapability. The circus is devastatingly peaceful sometimes.
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Mr. Stilinski by @doctortay (wc32279, explicit)
Summary: But he’s never really forgotten Wade or those guys from college, definitely not Brayden, the motorcycle-driving musician who devastated him senior year. He hasn’t forgotten the way a fuck-it-all attitude draws him in like a moth to a flame, speaks to his own rebellious nature that has always manifested as abrasive sarcasm and clever manipulation of rules and half-truths. And even though he’s never really forgotten, he’d thought he’d gotten over the bad boy thing, had grown out of it. But then, in his last class on the first day at his new job teaching English at the high school he graduated from fifteen years ago, Derek Hale walks into his classroom and Stiles feels like he's out in the parking lot back in 1995, nearly tripping over his own feet with stunned attraction, immediate and shockingly powerful. His lust is tinged with the familiar but long forgotten thrill needing to get closer to that mysterious cool, compounded infinitely now because this dangerous-looking bad boy is his student.
Ahh, the teacher-student relationship. Love that Stiles is the older one, and Derek's your perfect bad boy. They're so wrong but so right in this fic, it's delicious.
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MASTERLIST ! — fluff ; ꩜ — nsfw ; ★ — angst ; ִ ࣪𖤐 — request ; ᡣ𐭩 — f!reader ; ➸ — m!reader ; ꔛ — gn!reader ; ᯤ



DC COMICS ୨୧
wonder women’s daughter x batfam ➸ ; pt1
jason todd ;
headcannons ꩜ ᯤ boyfriend!jason ; bestfriend!jason ; brother!jason ; rival!jason
don’t call me baby ִ ࣪𖤐 ᯤ; you were never supposed to move on. (post death!jason)
sorry baby, just needed you to shut up ᯤ ; after listening to you ramble, he kisses you to shut you up.
peraltiago!au ➸ ; jason todd x f!reader — pt1
dick grayson ;
headcannons ᯤ boyfriend!dick ; bestfriend!dick ; brother!dick ; rival!dick
tim drake ; coming soon
bruce wayne ; coming soon
harley quinn ;
and they were roommates ➸ ; roommate!harley quinn x f!reader — they’re both in love with eachother but wayyyy too blind to see it.
barbara gordon ; coming soon
jon kent ; coming soon
roy harper ; coming soon
clark kent ; coming soon
bart allen ; coming soon
rachel roth ; coming soon
alfred pennyworth ; coming soon
poison ivy ; coming soon
MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE ᯓ
wanda maximoff ; coming soon
pietro maximoff ; coming soon
peter parker ; coming soon
tony stark ; coming soon
steve rogers ; coming soon
wade wilson ; coming soon
scott lang ;
scott with a choking kink ꔛ ★ ; porn w a little bit of plot. you fuck on tony’s couch and forget he has camera’s..
natasha romanoff ;
it’s possible she misses you ᯤ ; nat shows up at your door drunk & she finally tells you why she broke up with you.
agatha harkness ;
ᡣ𐭩 — agatha x wife!reader (kissing & mature themes) ➸
HARRY POTTER UNIVERSE ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
sirius black ;
cat got your tongue? ᯤ ; sirius found a cat whilst on a walk — you tease him about it.
james potter ; coming soon
remus lupin ; coming soon
regulus black ; coming soon
lily evans ; coming soon
STRANGER THINGS ⋆.˚
steve harrington ; coming soon
billy hargrove ; coming soon
robin buckley ; coming soon
OTHER ☆
simon ‘ghost’ riley ;
use your words, love (implied!smut) ᯤ
spencer reid ;
a bet (implied!smut) ᯤ ; caught leaving his hotel room — featuring: derek morgan!
apologies (kissing) ᯤ; its no secret you two hate eachother, but when you apologise, something changes.
pretty boy got laid (implied!smut) ➸ ; derek is always teasing spencer about his love life, but when you come in late, he has a whole other reason to tease spencer — featuring: derek morgan!
abby scuito ; coming soon
emily prentiss ; coming soon
alice cullen ; coming soon
edward cullen ; coming soon
bella swan ; coming soon
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Sterek pool scene with the Kanima, except its venom immobilizes its victims with rapid weight gain instead of paralysis.
Maybe Derek becomes buoyant as he swells with fat in the pool. Maybe he ends up filling the entirety of it. And maybe if it eventually wears off it leaves behind a bit of chub that’ll never go away.
I love it! Stiles panics for about 5 minutes- as Derek gets heavier and heavier, until Stiles eventually can't hold him up anymore and frantically dives for his cell phone to call Scott... only to reach the edge of the pool and be hit with a huge splash of water right as he sends his text. Turns around to see Derek isn't trapped at the bottom like he thought...instead water is flooding out of the pool as Derek turns into an island of blubber. Frustrated growls as his pants dig into his waist tighter and tighter, before those are lost and sinking to the bottom of the pool - which is rapidly becoming more like a wading pool as the water is displaced by lard. Fine with Stiles - instead of struggling to hold Derek up, he's struggling to climb up the rolls of blubber before he gets squashed between the walls of the pool and the ever expanding werewolf's gut. (Derek is meanwhile, having the MOST confusing erection of his life, trying to bite back groans as he feels himself getting heavier and wider) Gets shrunk down to normal size almost disappointed...and hungry.
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Top 25 Fics of 2023
1. whatever you want by Wildehack (tyleet) | Wolf 359 | Kepler/Jacobi | 5k
Kepler doesn't fuck him that first day, when Daniel swallows his pride like it's a hot coal he can feel boiling down to the pit of his stomach and dials the number left on the card. Heather Says: Back in 2017, Wolf 359 changed my life. I relisten to it every year. I reread fic. I sometimes write it. And THIS year, I was blessed with one of my favorites writing my favorites from Wolf 359. It's honestly exactly what I wanted out of a Wolf 359 fix it/coda.
2. god was a dog-man by @andthepeople | Teen Wolf | Derek/Stiles | 13k
“Do you have a secret teenage son?” Stiles demands, as soon as Derek opens the door. Heather Says: I did NOT watch the Teen Wolf movie this year. I did, however, relentlessly stalk reaction posts and (very select) gifsets. I also read this fantastic fic, which is now the movie in my brain because since I didn't see it, I'll never know.
3. then out of nowhere, somebody comes and hits you with an ooh la la la, ooh la la la, ooh la la la, ooh by @calciseptine | Deadpool | Peter/Wade | 49k
A man with spider-themed superpowers accidentally breaks into Wade's apartment. Heather Says: Deadpool is one of those fandoms that I'm technically a part of because I like it and I think Spiderman and Deadpool is both hilarious and hot, but it's always just on the edge of my peripherals. But sometimes Steve's fic just kind of creeps on me and demands my attention. This was my feel good fic this spring.
4. By the Laws of Magic by Lenore | The Sandman | Dream/Hob | 32k
It’s 1959, and Hob Gadling is working at a London auction house, amazing his colleagues with his uncanny knowledge of art and artifacts from the 14th century on. When he gets the assignment to catalogue a family library at a place called Fawney Rig, he looks forward to a working vacation in the country. What he finds is a house with a preternatural chill where odd disturbances happen daily, an ornate carved door with a secret clearly hidden behind it, and visions of his mysterious stranger every time he turns around. Heather Says: I honestly love this ship. The fairy tale elements combined with the very compelling idea that in another universe much like this one, Hob Gadling ends up saving Dream from his glass prison made for some truly great fiction.
5. Dawnshot Through the Heart by @sirnotappearinginthisblog | Wax&Wayne series | Wax/Wayne | WIP | 80k
Ten years ago, Wayne fled instead of letting himself get arrested for murder. He’s been an outlaw ever since, keeping one step ahead of the lawkeepers who want him dead or alive—especially Dawnshot. But his luck was bound to run out eventually, and he knows how it always ends for the Bad Guys in stories. Heather Says: I think that this is the only WIP on here but I cannot rightfully leave it off because I LOVED this fic this year. I love the Mistborn series, but I've never really sought out fic for it before. This one though, this one found me. The writing is SUPERB and I wish it was a bigger fandom because it deserves so much love, you guys. It's so so so good. I love Wax and Wayne's dynamic in the series. They're great. But also- what if they had an enemies to lovers thing going on that turned poly? WHAT IF?!
6. One Size Fits All by @entanglednow | Stranger Things | Eddie/Steve | 65k
Steve just wanted to do something nice for a friend, he doesn't mean to get Eddie's ring stuck on his finger, and it's definitely not his fault that everyone he knows is jumping to conclusions. Heather Says: This is not the last time that you will see this author or this ship on this list. I really would have thought that Steddie would have crept out of my brain right now, but NOPE. And part of that is because every couple weeks entanglednow drops an absolute BANGER of a fic that obliterates my brain for anything else.
7. you are spring by @wildehacked | Supernatural | Castiel/Dean | 20k
God makes a wish. His parents work some things out. Heather Says: I got very close to leaving this one off the list, not because it wasn't good or that it wasn't one of my top 25 but purely because I've been out of the Supernatural fandom for so many years. I mean, c'mon. I didn't watch the last FIVE seasons. However, getting to follow along wildehacked's rewatch journey on twitter was a blast from the past and then THIS lovely shining fic that they churned out lured me back in for one last nibble at this ship that took over my life for the better part of a decade. It is so incredibly amazing and since I never finished the series, I will happily go on pretending that this is how it ended.
8. Interim by starkraving | BotW/TOtK | Ganondorf/Link/Zelda | 95k
She has no throne. Girls without thrones should not have knights, but hers won’t go. Princess Zelda – the girl who killed Calamity – would love to fade into legend, but Link’s bought a house, he’s fighting off monsters, and he’s selling giant horses to strangely familiar Gerudo men. She'll never have any peace now. Heather Says: This fic. THIS FIC. Is so richly built. Is so intoxicating. It leans into found family. You spend chapter after chapter watching Zelda and Link traverse Hyrule with the hot Gerudo that they met along the way after the events of the first game. And it is so fucking compelling. Honestly, while I'm happy that they smooched, I would have been completely fine reading another 100k of just these three wandering Hyrule together, being absolute goblins. 10 out 10, will read again.
9. one hundred years past by tciddaemina | BotW/TotK | Ganondorf/Link | 38k
Link wakes up a century early. It changes everything. Heather Says: Can you tell that playing Tears of the Kingdom left me desperately thirsty for any and all Ganondorf content this summer? I'm a sucker for all sides of the poly triforce but I'll admit that Ganondorf and Link scratches that enemies to lovers itch PERFECTLY if it's done well. And this one is done well.
10. Step Right Up by entanglednow | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 3k
Steve had mostly given up on trying to meet anyone new after everything, but it's been six months and his friends had started giving him pointed nudges to get out there again. Heather Says: Told you it wouldn't be the last you saw of entanglednow. I actually think that this might be my favorite fic that they've written? Which is saying a lot because I will scream it to the rafters that any Steddie fan should read their fic. But this is FUN HOUSE MIRROR MAZE and MISTAKEN IDENTITY KISSING. Guys, I have no chill about this fic. I have no chill about Steve's hands in Eddie's hair, or the sounds that he makes, or the smell of strawberry. It is just so so good.
11. the most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that it’s you by @greatunironic | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 35k
Sixteen years after the world didn't end for the last time, Max Mayfield showed up on Steve’s doorstep and said, “You gonna walk me down the aisle in May or what?” Or, it’s 2002 and Steve Harrington attends a wedding, a funeral, and a birth. Heather Says: I genuinely do not think that I have words for this one. It is one of those all encompassing fics that sucks you in and just won't spit you out again. It hurts, an ache just under the breastbone. But god, it's so beautiful.
12. Fight Night by @rlnerdgirl | Teen Wolf | Derek/Stiles | 12k
Stiles starts fighting in college. He doesn't tell anyone. Heather Says: There are three...? Yeah, three Teen Wolf fics on this list. Three. Like it's 2015 again. Like my brain broke and time went ticking all the way back to when I was ridiculously invested in these characters. But honestly? All three Teen Wolf fics on this list are incredibly therapeutic. They get to be the ending for me instead of whatever clusterfuck good ole Jeff tried to pull. This one in particular is fantastic because it's canon-divergence after SEASON one. Yes, we have Erica and Boyd. Yes, Stiles is BAMF. It's a good read.
13. strange fear i ain’t felt for years by Sister | Batman | Tim/Jason | 31k
“Can’t believe a pretty thing like you has to come begging to the Red Hood,” he says against Tim’s neck. “Thought they’d be lining up down the block for you. Thought Daddy would need to get the shotgun.” Heather Says: Oh look, another ship and fandom that I was only peripherally aware of that had me in a chokehold for a good month and a half. I don't even like DC that much.
14. Silver-Tongue by starkraving | Baldur's Gate 3 | Astarion/Karlach | 9k
Astarion fast-talks an abnormal number of enemies into killing themselves in the shadow-cursed lands and the team makes idle (then less idle) conversation about it. Heather Says: Okay, so I STILL have not finished this game. I have however very carefully consumed as much content as I can get my hands on without being completely and totally spoiled. This was the first fic that I really loved in this fandom. It's no surprise that I ship Astarion happily with everyone, but damn is he good with Karlach in this one. Their characterization is perfect.
15. A Sign of The Morning by ToEdenandBackAgain | Stranger Things | Eddie/Steve | 86k
Vecna is dead. The Upside Down is cut off from Hawkins yet again. Steve is trying to go back to normal, whatever that is. He's also trying to figure out exactly how Eddie Munson has managed to fit so easily into his life. Heather Says: Honestly? What can I say about this one? It has 19,000 kudos despite being published last June. It's on a ridiculous number of collection/rec lists. The tension is exquisite. The found family? Even better.
16. Phantom of Truth by Haiju | Danny Phantom | Maddie Fenton & Danny Fenton | 58k
Locked away in a secret government lab with Phantom as her sole object of study, nothing stands between Maddie and the truth... except, perhaps, herself. Heather Says: Oh look, another fandom that I have never ever been a part of. I saw this REALLY NEAT and angsty tiktok (tw for ghosty gore) and basically immediately was sucked into a show that I've never even watched before. The comments lead me to this fic which is perfectly gen, angsty, and honestly absolutely perfect. I cannot get over how much I loved this.
17. Manacled by senlinyu | Harry Potter | Draco/Hermione | 370k
Harry Potter is dead. In the aftermath of the war, in order to strengthen the might of the magical world, Voldemort enacts a repopulation effort. Heather Says: I did the thing. I read the incredibly dark fic that I've been avoiding since 2018. I typically steer-clear of anything that is overly bleak and I do not tiptoe into non-con waters often. But one of our groomsmen who isn't even involved with fandom read this so that his girlfriend would watch Star Wars with him and then spent a good portion of a Halloween party talking it up. So I gave it a shot. Over all, it is too bleak for me. That said, I finished it in a weekend. I loved it. I hated it. I wish I'd broken it up over a longer period of time because the emotional bleed off of it was intense.
18. Ready for Love by @idiopathicsmile | Singin in the Rain | Cosmo/Kathy/Don | 12k
Don and Kathy would move in together. They would have a dog or two and then inevitably, a small parade of adorable little brats who would call him Uncle Cosmo, and they would spend less and less time with him, not on purpose but busy with the rest of their lives, and ultimately Cosmo would learn to make his peace with it because he’d have no other choice and he would have to try to move on and not live too much in his memories. He could picture it so clearly, he figured if the songwriting gig with Monumental didn’t pan out, he could always return to the backwater circuit with a new act: The Amazing Cosmo of the Cosmos—ladies and gentlemen, he sees the future, he reads the stars, he silently pines for his best married pal and all the while tap dancing! Don and Kathy inviting him along on their honeymoon, though—that part was a surprise. Heather Says: I LOVE this movie. It is one of my biggest comfort movies. I watch it to feel happy. I watch it when I'm sad. And I have always shipped these three but NEVER read fic for it. And honestly? I'm glad I waited for a good fic to find me because this one was perfect.
19. A Series of Forgettable Events by @trensu | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 27k
Steve wanted to be a dad more than anything. Unfortunately, he was a single dude in his thirties which meant no adoption agency in the world was willing to give him a chance. Or at least no human adoption agency. Heather Says: Honestly just a delightful little jaunt in a world where Steve wants to be a dad, Eddie is a very overprotective siren, and the kids are, well. Little horrors. I love it. There's a sequel now which I am very patiently waiting to read it until I am less busy in RL.
20. the dry sand of daylight by @andthepeople | Inception | Arthur/Eames | 15k
Arthur is married to Eames for the better part of a decade. Then he wakes up. Heather Says: This fic left me ACHING for the Inception fandom circa 2010-2012. When livejournal was still a thing and the fandom community was alive and thriving. It is so achingly tender and perfect. I had forgotten how much I loved them.
21. brutalist masterpieces by @greatunironic | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 12k
Ten years on, in a town in Nova Scotia, on the edge of the Atlantic, Eddie finds Steve again, and also maybe himself. Heather Says: Maybe that's my thing this year. Achingly sweet tender pieces that leave you reeling in the aftermath. This fic is SO incredibly beautiful.
22. What Made Milwaukee Famous by synthetica | Danny Phantom | Vlad/Danny | 30k
Ten years after establishing a tenuous truce, Danny crash-lands at Vlad's Milwaukee lakehouse with a particularly nasty wound, three days recovery time, and absolutely nothing to do but talk to his long-lost archnemesis. Heather Says: I'm told that this is something of a rarepair. However, from the limited information that I have from the series I can say with full certainty that two ghostly beings locked for years as enemies growing up and meeting in the middle? Fully my thing.
23. then now and always by @raisesomehale | Teen Wolf | Derek/Stiles | 13k
Stiles is stuck. Stiles is stuck in the fucking snow in the middle of bum-fuck-nowhere at night with a broken down car three days before Christmas, and the nearest tow truck company—over fifty miles away—doesn’t open until morning. Heather Says: And here we have the promised third Teen Wolf fic, the most cathartic of the bunch. I am so so sweet on future fic particularly in this fandom with missed chances. And this one is just so syrupy sweet. It's winter! There's horses! Derek's an alpha! They smooch. Anyway, this is how I cope with a series finale that didn't happen and a movie that doesn't exist.
24. Terminus by @rcmclachlan | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 4k
"Keep me here," he begs against Mobius's lips. "You must keep me here." Heather Says: What do you mean you didn't spend all three replays of the Loki series finale weeping into a pillow? What do you mean you didn't spend the next few days trying to find the perfect coda? What do you mean that you didn't find this fic and positively expire from the sheer fucking tenderness in Mobius' voice? What do you mean? What. do you. mean? Anyway, I know I'm not supposed to have number one favorites. This list exists because I cannot condense it further than 25. But guys, this was my favorite fic this year.
25. Eye Of The Beholder by @entanglednow | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 22k
Eddie works himself up to ask Steve if he can borrow his instant camera, because the type of pictures he wants to take are…not the kind he can get developed in town. Heather Says: And to round it out, another Steddie. This one with sexy photos. The tension is killer.
#heather says what#top 25#year in review#fic recs#recommendations#2023#new year's memes#teen wolf#stranger things#loki#inception#supernatural#danny phantom#dc#harry potter
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requesting guide
updated: 17.06.23

please make sure to read this before requesting anything — i'm hoping that you'll respect my boundaries on what am i comfortable with and with not writing.
MASTERLIST

I tend to curse often in my fics, and are usually comfortable with covering more serious topics, so make sure to check the content warning before hand. I always write warnings when I believe they're needed, but do let me know if you think something should be added!
also senders may request as many as they want <3
FORMS OF WRITING :
oneshot
imagine
headcanon
series
alphabet
I tend to write oneshots over 1000 words, so if you want feel free to specify if you want a long or short story.
CONTENT I WRITE :
fluff
angst
sensitive / triggering topics
gore
smut / spice
most tropes ( best at friends to lovers )
I'm pretty comfortable with writing sensitive topics as well as angst ( anyone who's read my works before will know that they're the things I write best ) however, if I'm not comfortable with the topic as a whole I will DM you, or possibly put it off for a while.
*If you have a writing prompt from somewhere as well, feel free to send it through !!
CHARACTERS :
male reader / ftm
gender neutral
genderfluid
original character
I do not write female readers / characters anymore. If there aren't specified pronouns then I will write it as a male character.
There are also some characters I only feel comfortable writing for with a male reader/character and vice versa, which I'll note who.
PAIRINGS :
love interests
platonic
family
polyamorous ships ; depends on the character
WHAT I WILL NOT WRITE :
support of homophobia, transphobia, fatphobia, racism, sexism, pedophilia, incest ; if they're mentioned in a request in terms of the character being bullied / abused ( in the past ) then i may write it but NOT explicitly, only a mention
a pairing against a character's canon sexuality
rape
pregnancy
female reader
anime

WHO I WRITE FOR :
DEAD BOY DETECTIVES :
charles rowland
edwin payne
monty
niko sasaki ( not romantic )
crystal palace ( not romantic )
DESCENDANTS :
ben beast
harry hook
carlos de vil
jay
mal bertha
evie grimhilde
LOCKWOOD & CO :
anthony lockwood
lucy carlyle
george karim
quill kipps ( friends / family only )
MARAUDERS :
remus lupin
sirius black
regulus black
james potter
lily evans ( not romantic )
evan rosier
barty crouch jr
marlene mckinnon ( not romantic )
dorcas meadows ( not romantic )
pandora lovegood ( not romantic )
mary mcdonald ( not romantic )
MARVEL :
peter parker / spiderman ( tom and andrew )
loki laufeyson
kate bishop
yelena belova ( not romantic )
steve rogers
bucky barnes
pietro maximoff
wanda maximoff
valkyrie ( not romantic )
natasha romanoff
tony stark ( not romantic )
gwen stacy ( emma stone )
gwen stacy ( atsv )
*marvel and particularly the mcu is a fandom i'm more comfortable with than most, so if there is a character not listed, then i may or may not write for them
NARNIA :
prince caspian
peter pevensie
edmund pevensie ( only during dawn treader )
SHADOW AND BONE / SIX OF CROWS :
kaz brekker
inej ghafa
jesper fahey
wylan van eck
nina zenik
alina starkov
nikolai lantsov
genya safin ( not romantic )
matthias helvar
STRANGER THINGS :
steve harrington
jonathon byers
max mayfield
robin buckley ( not romantic )
TEEN WOLF :
stiles stilinski ( *i will take most/all dylan obrien characters )
isaac lahey
scott mccall
liam dunbar ( not romantic )
allison argent
malia tate
lydia martin ( not romantic )
kira yukimura
derek hale
THE HUNGER GAMES :
finnick odair
peeta mellark
katniss everdeen
THE MAZE RUNNER :
newt
thomas
minho
X-MEN :
logan howlett
charles xavier ( james mcavoy )
jean grey
mystique
rogue
erik lehnsherr ( not romantic )
wade wilson / deadpool
kitty pryde
bobby drake
*FANDOMS COMING SOON : PJO, DISNEY, HANNIBAL
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The Bunker - Criminal Minds
Chapter 13: The Scar
Summary: Spencer Reid wakes up in a locked bunker to find half the current BAU and two of its departed members unconscious on the floor. The old team is back together but the reunion is not what any of them would have wished for. An Unsub from their past has decided it's time they all stop keeping secrets, even if it means exposing them by force.
Hotch and Derek have been pulled back into a world they tried to escape. Emily, Rossi, and JJ are doing their best to keep it together. Spencer is falling apart.
AKA a found family is reunited and forced to go through the most nightmarish version of family therapy imaginable.
Set months after the end of Criminal Minds: Evolution. Evolution referenced, but not necessary to understand the story.
Chapter Summary: The team has some catharsis, of a kind.
Read chapter 13 on AO3 or under the cut. Please check AO3 for content warnings. All comments and reblogs are extremely appreciated <3 I would love to know what you like about the story :)
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12
Nobody moved.
Not a twitch. Not a breath. Not a blink.
They stared at him like a ghost.
“Spencer,” whispered Emily, like she couldn't believe her eyes.
In a second, all of them were on him. Emily pulled him into a crushing hug that the rest of them quickly joined. He felt dampness dripping on his shoulder and didn’t know who it was coming from. He heard JJ breath out ‘oh my god’ again and again.
“Let me look at you,” demanded Hotch.
There was a hand on his arm. The group parted just enough to let Hotch get at him. Emily kept her arm wrapped around his shoulders and Derek put a hand in his hair and kissed the top of his head, kneeling behind him like a barrier between him and the rest of the world. Rossi knelt beside him with a hand on his arm.
“You’re all okay,” Spencer said, throat constricting.
“We thought you were dead,” choked out JJ. “You fucking bastard! We thought you were dead!”
Tears streamed down her face and she squeezed the hand on his uninjured arm tight enough that it would have hurt, if he wasn’t up to his gills on fentanyl.
“Jesus, Spencer,” breathed Hotch.
He knelt in front of him, holding his wrist and gently turning his arm over so his mangled forearm faced upwards.
A hush fell over all of them as they stared at the vicious scar. If it had disturbed them when they first saw his track marks, this was a hundred times worse.
The weight around his shoulders and against his side disappeared as Emily scrambled back from him.
“I need…” she breathed. “I just-”
She turned and darted for the bathroom, crashing through the door as if she didn’t realize it was there. A moment later he winced at the sound of her vomiting.
Derek turned away from him, looking very much like he was about to cry.
A short moment later, Emily came back into the room, struggling to compose herself. “I’m sorry,” she said shakily, kneeling beside him again.
“No,” he said. He tried to reach out to her, but realized JJ and Hotch still had a hold of both of his hands. Hotch let him go. JJ didn’t. He reached for Emily’s cheek. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m alright. It doesn’t even hurt.”
Emily held his gaze, unsuccessfully fighting back tears. The haze over his vision made her skin look like it was glowing. Her cheek felt impossibly soft. She put one hand over his and stroked the other one softly over the scar.
“It doesn’t hurt because you’re high,” she said gently.
He looked away, then nodded. “I asked him not to,” he explained. “I tried.”
He tried and he failed. There was never going to be another end to this story.
“Him?” asked Rossi. “You spoke to the male Unsub?”
He nodded. “I-” he swallowed. “He said-” his breath hitched. He waded through his thoughts like molasses.
“It’s okay,” said Hotch, so close that their knees were touching. “You can tell us later.”
“I’m sorry,” he said again.
Derek rubbed circles on his back. “It’s alright, Spencer. You’re alive. That's all that matters.”
In spite of the dampening affects of the narcotics, a deep pain welled in his heart. He clutched at his chest as a sob escaped him.
“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I think there’s something really wrong with me.” He looked down at his butchered forearm, trying to understand it. “It all made sense at the time. I was trying to save us," he said, searching all of their faces desperately, hoping one of them could tell him the magic formula to stop being broken. Something opened up inside of him that he had being trying for so long to keep shut. “I think I wanted to die. I think I’ve felt that way for a while.”
How had he not realized that?
Emily had realized it. Derek had realized it. Did all of them know? How could they have known when he didn’t even know it?
Derek’s words rang in his ears. Happy people don’t do heroin.
He broke down.
The last time he cried like this, it was the first day back in his apartment after prison. He had collapsed on the shower floor and wept so long it caused a migraine.
Only this time, for better or worse, he wasn’t alone. Five sets of arms wrapped around him, holding him like he might disappear if they let go for even a second, and they all cried with him.
For the first time since waking up in this nightmare, they mourned everything that had been taken from them. Their families, their freedom, their safety, and their sanity.
They stayed like that until his head swam and he could barely tell up from down.
"You need to lie down," said Hotch, as they all finally parted.
He looked around like he was only noticing the changes to the room for the first time.
Following his cue, the others took in their altered surroundings with worry and confusion, enough to tell Spencer that this was all clearly new to them, too.
Derek and Hotch helped him over to one of the thin mattresses. He tried to fight it, but between the drugs and the adrenaline crash and the fathomless ocean of hurt, he couldn't hold onto consciousness.
He was in and out, not fully passed out, but not fully coherent. Eventually, after who knows how long, he must have fallen asleep.
When he woke up, he felt sick to his stomach and his head pounded. He was shaky and weak, a feeling he was getting far too used to. How long had he been in that room while they pumped him full of narcotics?
He couldn’t keep doing this so soon after his last withdrawal. His body couldn’t cope with it.
He tried to sit up and speak to the others, but a wave of intense nausea washed over him before he could make a sound. He scrambled up and rushed for the bathroom, where he wretched bile.
After a second, he felt a hand on his back, and another holding back his increasingly long hair, now down below his chin for the first time in quite a while.
Once he was sure he was done, he turned to see Emily. She smiled tightly at him, then helped him stand. He splashed water over his face and rinsed out his mouth, then took a long, deep drink.
“You good?” she asked.
He nodded. “Yeah.”
His eyes wandered down to just below the sink. The missing bolt had been replaced with one that was shiny and new. It was welded tightly in place. The welding on all the other bolts had been redone, too.
When he looked around, he noticed the door hinges had received the same treatment. The Unsubs had gone to great lengths to ensure there would not be a repeat incident.
Emily was watching him, arms folded. He couldn't tell what was going on in her head, but she almost looked sicker than she had when they were starving.
The newly returned bathroom door was closed. He knew the others were just outside, waiting for them to exit, but it was close enough to alone. He had hurt all of them, he knew, but after everything with John Cooley, after he promised her he wasn’t going to do the same, he felt he owed her more than anyone.
“Emily-"
“Spencer,” she said, sniffing a little. “You don’t need to apologize. I get it.”
He looked at her a little longer, then nodded. Then he pulled her into a crushing hug and apologized anyway.
She didn't say anything, just hugged him back.
They exited the bathroom, and the others were waiting for them just like he thought.
“How are you feeling?” asked Hotch.
“Like I’m in the middle of the detox that never ends,” he said, clenching his hands to control the trembling, wincing at the sharp pain that shot up his left arm when he formed a fist. “They had me under almost the entire time I was gone."
“But not the whole time,” observed Rossi. “You said you talked to one of them.”
“Yeah,” he said. “The male accomplice. We spoke twice.”
“You need to sit down,” said Derek. “You look like you’re about to pass out.”
He didn’t disagree. They all took a moment, rearranging the mattresses so they could sit in a circle, positioning themselves so that Spencer could lean against the wall. They knew they were settling in for a long conversation.
He had questions for them, too, but he knew they needed to hear from him first.
In all the brutal clarity and detail afforded to him by his eidetic memory, he told them his story. It was verbatim, not a single detail omitted.
After what he’d put them through with the drugs, the detox, the erratic behavior, the arguing and denying and finally… He rubbed at his scar. He owed them honesty.
Besides, every detail was vital to the profile, even if he didn’t yet know how.
He recounted the events to a rapt audience. When he got to the fag comment, a couple of heads tilted at him curiously, but they didn't question him. He pressed on. They could worry about that later.
He concluded with a description of everything he’d seen and deduced regarding the building itself based on what he could see from his limited perspective in the room. It was a relief to be able to give them a small morsel of hope.
"Whatever this place is," he finished, "it wasn't made for them. There's a paper trail somewhere that the others can find."
“That’s good,” said Hotch when he was finally done. “That’s really good, Spencer, thank you.”
“This completely changes our profile,” observed JJ. “This isn't a typical relationship between a dominant Unsub and a submissive accomplice, but an actual partnership. He has thoughts and opinions that differ from hers, which he feels safe to express freely. He respects her.”
"It's definitely an unusual dynamic," agreed Spencer. "I think she honestly believes she's helping us somehow. He's a sadist. He wants to cause pain. It's as if the whole thing was a joke to him, but he's holding himself back out of some sense of loyalty and obligation to her. Somehow, she's managed to get an intelligent sadist to not only follow her instruction, but to feel protective of her."
“I agree, it's strange,” said Emily. “He's clearly the one with the medical expertise, which is also unexpected given how she positions herself as savior. If I had to guess, based on the resentment he expressed towards Spencer, particularly regarding his honorific, he’s probably a nurse. Maybe someone who planned to become a doctor but was unable to attend or complete medical school for some reason."
“What if that's how they met?” posed Rossi. “She could have been one of his patients and they bonded. It might explain why he’s so fiercely protective of her, especially if she flattered him or made him feel powerful. If she's experienced significant health issues, it could also be contributing factor to her obsessive focus on cleanliness.”
“She said that if we had given up on her, she never would have met him, so their relationship postdates her presumed arrest,” said Derek. “Assuming we're right that she was incarcerated, he could have been a nurse in the prison medical center.”
“That tracks with his comment about dealing with junkies regularly,” said Spencer. “One study published by the Department of Justice found that 58% of state prisoners had substance abuse issues compared with just 5% of the general population. Drug and alcohol toxicity are the third leading cause of death in prisons behind serious illness and-” the word caught in his throat. Suicide. Behind serious illness and suicide. He couldn't bring himself to say the word. "Well, you get the idea."
It was for the best that he hadn’t been using while in prison, all things considered. He very likely would have ended up as one of those statistics if he had been.
"Are you certain you didn't recognize her voice?" asked JJ.
He shook his head. "I really don't know. I was pretty out of it, I'm sorry."
“Don't be. It looks like we have the beginning of a new profile,” said Hotch. “This is a lot more than we knew before. We can find a way to use this.” He looked at Spencer, eyeing him cautiously. Eventually, he said, “Don’t take this as encouragement to try anything like that ever again, but for what its worth, it worked. You forced their hand.”
He scrubbed his hands over his face, if only to not have to look at any of them for a moment. “Yeah,” he said, not able to summon a better response. When the awkward silence that followed got too much for him, he asked: "How long was I gone?"
The others exchanged glances.
"It's hard to say," said Hotch. "But there were fifteen deliveries prior to them hitting us with another round of gas."
"We think the deliveries are still operating at twelve hour intervals," said Rossi, "But it's difficult to keep track of time with any certainty, and we can't know how long we were unconscious."
They had all been dressed in a fresh set of scrubs at some point in their lost time, and he was far too aware of the short sleeves. He kept catching glimpses of the scar and each time, he had to fight the urge to puke again. He looked down at the scar intentionally for about three seconds before he had to look away.
It was enough to make an assessment.
"Judging by the progression of healing, I would put it at an estimate of two weeks minimum, which makes sense with the number deliveries and helps confirm that they are still working at standard intervals," he explained.
Two weeks, likely a little over. It hung in the air like smoke after a fire. Two weeks of him being pumped full of fentanyl.
Two weeks of the others stuck in this room thinking they had just watched him die by his own hand.
“I guess it’s time for us to fill you in,” said Rossi, breaking the tension. “Things got pretty nuts here for a minute.”
“What happened after I passed out?” he asked, anxiety creeping its way into his gut.
“You were right,” Rossi continued. “They didn’t risk the gas. It would have killed you for sure after the blood loss.”
“We never saw the woman, but the guy busted in about a minute after you lost consciousness,” said Derek. “He had a gun.”
His stomach dropped. Obviously, they hadn’t been able to overpower him or they wouldn't still be there, but he still found himself hoping that the story would turn in their favor.
“We tried to overpower him, but he pistol whipped Hotch pretty hard,” said Emily.
He looked at Hotch questioningly and apologetically, which Hotch waved off. “I’m fine." Spencer didn't believe that for a second, but he was hardly in a position to comment. Hotch continued, "He kept the gun trained on the rest of us and forced Morgan to leave you outside the door.”
The use of surnames was always a dead giveaway that Hotch was clinging to a facade of professionalism to stay composed, even though profiling hadn't been his profession for years.
Derek jumped in quickly, brushing right past the details of the event and into a impersonal analysis. “This all supports your theory that the bunker is part of a larger facility. The hall just led to a door, so I didn’t see much, but I’m certain he didn’t have medical supplies on hand. He would’ve had to get you to treatment fast.”
The scene unfolded in his head with far less clinical detachment than it was being described with. It melded with the bits and pieces he could remember. The screaming, Derek’s hands trying to stop him from bleeding out, a waterfall of crimson.
“We didn’t hear anything after that,” said JJ, staring down at her lap. Her nails were digging into the back of her arm. “No notes. Nothing. We kept getting food like nothing was different. We didn't think you were coming back.”
Derek wrapped an arm around her. She took a shaky breath.
“We kept on like that until the gas. Then we woke up, and you were back. Along with all the creature comforts that were confiscated after the last attempt at rebellion," said Derek.
“We used your wet cloth mask trick when the gas started,” said Emily. “Having to use my shirt for that is the first thing in my whole life that has made me sincerely miss wearing a bra.”
JJ snorted a laugh.
“If it’s any consolation, you looked great,” said Derek, holding up his fingers in the ‘OK’ gesture. JJ slapped him on the arm while Emily rolled her eyes. “Relax, I’m kidding,” he said, holding up a hand defensively. “Believe it or not I was too busy trying not to die to check you out.”
They way they glossed over the horror of those weeks was an act of kindness he was sure he didn’t deserve.
The looks on their faces when they first woke up and saw that he was alive would be burned in the forefront of his mind for a long time.
“Wait,” he said, remembering. “There was an alarm. After he left me here. Has that happened before?”
Hotch shook his head. “We checked it while you were still out of it. It looks like they’ve retrofitted a small speaker inside the camera housing. It definitely wasn’t there before.”
He looked up at the camera, blinking red light as infuriating as ever. When he squinted, he could just see it through the reflections that bounced off the reinforced plexiglass. It would be interesting to see how that new element of their enclosure came into play.
“There was also a paper bag,” he said, looking around the room and spotting it in a corner. “What was in it?”
They all exchanged glances before looking back at him.
“We haven't looked,” said JJ.
"What? Why?" he asked, taken aback.
“Whatever happens next, we’re all in this together,” said Rossi.
He felt a lump rise in his throat. Emily squeezed his upper arm comfortingly.
“Before we open it and have to focus all of our energy on whatever is in there,” she said gently, “we need to take a moment to talk.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath. He'd figured this was coming. “I know,” he said, lowering his hands, once again catching a glimpse of the scar, still struggling to process that it would be with him for the rest of his life, however long that might be.
They all looked at each other again, and he was sure they’d planned this whole thing out while he was sleeping. Derek took the lead.
“What you said before, about wanting to die,” he said, looking like it hurt him as much to say it as it hurt Spencer to hear it, “We can’t ignore that.”
“I-” His instinct was to say ‘I was high, I was out of it, I didn’t know what I was saying,’ but instead he said, slowly and awkwardly, “I don’t plan on doing anything like that again.”
“That’s good,” said Derek calmly. “I’m glad to hear that. But we’re all conscious of the fact that we’re not exactly in an environment conducive to recovery. I don’t think any of us are exactly in a great place, psychologically or physically. And know that when I say this, I'm speaking from experience, not judgement; those feelings your having don't go away while you're still actively in a crisis situation. So even though I believe that you mean what you say, it's hard to trust that you won't change your mind later.”
If he'd needed another knife in his heart, the thought of a teenage Derek contemplating such a drastic escape from horrific abuse was sure to do it. This wasn't new information to him, but it never stopped hurting. How could it be fair that someone could survive what he had survived and still be made to suffer through something like this?
He learned a long time ago that fairness didn't exist and knew better than to ask those questions, yet the thought still came.
“We get it,” chimed in Rossi. “You already know I was struggling myself not long ago. You're not alone,” he said honestly.
"I hate that any of you know what this feels like," he said quietly. "I wish you didn't."
Derek shrugged helplessly. Rossi raised an eyebrow and said, "You and me both, kid."
A few of them nodded. “I think,” said Emily, “that right now, we can’t afford for any one of us to break. If we lose you, Spencer, or if we lose any of us, I don’t know how the rest of us are going to make it out.”
He nodded. “No pressure,” he joked, swiping under his eyes. Nobody laughed.
“Right before you cut yourself,” said JJ bluntly, “You said to Derek that it had to be you because you didn’t have kids waiting for you to come home. You know that’s not true, right?”
“It is true,” he said, shaking his head at her. “I’m not justifying myself,” he clarified, “but you all have family waiting for you. All I have is my mom, and at this point, she might not even realize I’m gone.”
JJ looked at him so sadly. “It’s not true at all,” she insisted. “Do you know what it would do to my boys if I had to tell them you were gone? Sometimes I think Henry and Michael love you more than they love Will and I,” she said with a sound halfway between a cry and laugh. “And when all this is over, they’re going to need you more than ever. I’m going to need you.”
“It’s the same for my family,” said Derek. “Don’t you ever think for a second that just because you’re not related by blood that we can afford to lose you. You are family. For all of us.”
They all nodded and hummed in agreement.
“I can cope with all the fucked up shit that’s happening to us,” said Emily, “But I don’t think I can cope without you. Speaking as the only other member of the no partner, no kids, fucked up relationship with their mother gang,” she said with a watery laugh.
“How about the adult kid you didn’t get to raise, dead wife, dead mother gang?” deadpanned Rossi.
Spencer laughed even as tears threatened to spill again. He forced them back. He already had enough of a headache from the last time. “Is this supposed to be cheering me up? It’s working, strangely.”
“Jack still asks about you sometimes,” said Hotch softly. He looked around the room. “All of you.”
It was the first time he had mentioned Jack since waking up in the bunker. They all avoided talking about their kids too much. It felt wrong to draw their captor’s attention to their families, even though they were obviously aware of them. But Hotch hadn’t so much as alluded to Jack’s existence.
“Henry asks about Jack, too,” said JJ. “What do you tell him about us?”
Hotch looked at the floor. “I tell him he’s an adult now. He can look you up himself if he wants.”
That hung in the air. After everything Hotch had been through, they could hardly blame him for not wanting to talk about the past he left behind, but the thought of him shutting them out so completely still stung.
“I can’t believe he’s an adult,” said Emily. “He must be in college by now.”
Hotch nodded. “Studying to be a psychologist.”
“Not forensic psychology?” asked Derek, likely picking up on the same tension that Spencer was.
“No, thank god,” said Hotch. “He's interested in child psychology, with a focus on trauma.”
Oh.
Clearly everything Jack had been through as a kid had played a big part in shaping the adult he was becoming. It was a bittersweet thing to hear.
“You must be so proud of him,” said Emily.
“I am,” said Hotch. “And I would very much like to see him again so I can tell him that.” He looked at Spencer. “For better or worse, what you did got us vital information, and a reason to hope we can get out of this. I’m not naive enough to believe that just talking with you about this is going to fix it. I also know that the longer we’re down here, the more likely it is for the rest of us to experience suicidal ideation or other acute mental health issues, if we aren’t already. Nobody is immune to the effects of long-term confinement.” He looked at each of them in turn. “What we need to do is make sure that if any of us start having those thoughts, myself included, we cannot keep it to ourselves.” He looked at Spencer. “It’s time we accepted that we might be in here for a while yet, and we need to do everything in our power to stay alive as long as possible and give the others the best chance of finding us. Can you do that?”
He hesitated, then nodded. “I can do that.”
Hotch gave a single appreciative nod in return. “Good.”
“I guess that just leaves one thing,” said Emily, getting up to retrieve the unopened paper bag.
It didn’t look bulky enough to contain food, so he was expecting a note. When Emily picked it up, it sagged a little in the bottom, indicating that there must be an object of some kind in there. She walked back to the group but didn’t sit. They all looked up at her as she opened the bag.
She pulled out a note, and read.
“When a dog bites the hand that feeds it, do you put the dog down, or train it? I hope you have learned your lesson. Follow the rules or you will have to be taught again.” She scrunched the note up and tossed it on the floor. "God I hate this bitch."
She turned the bag over and dumped its contents onto the floor in the middle of the circle, then scrunched up the bag and tossed that on the floor too.
Six stacks of rectangular card, each bundled with twine, thudded to the floor with a dull thwack.
They each reached out and grabbed a stack, turning them over and examining them. They contained photos, around 20 to a stack.
The one at the top of the stack that Spencer had grabbed was a picture of JJ, sitting on her front porch having a coffee with Will. He undid the twine and saw quickly that each photo in the stack was of her and her family, her at the gym, even her entering Quantico, taken from a distance.
“This is insane,” breathed Emily. He looked over at the stack she was holding and saw a glimpse of Hotch and a young man he realized must be Jack.
They each laid their stack out on the ground in front of them, fanning them out so they could all see.
He looked across the circle and saw Hotch setting down photos of himself. At Virginia Tech where he teaches Criminology from time to time. Coming and going from his mother’s care home. Oh god. There was a photo of him at his dealer’s apartment door, looking entirely unwell.
One picture in particular caught his eye. He reached across and grabbed it. Hotch looked at him for a moment, before catching a glimpse of the photos of himself that Emily was laying out and cursing.
“If I ever get my hands on these fucking people…” he said to himself, icy and furious, reaching for a picture of his son.
Spencer focused on the photo in his hand. It was of him, standing in front of a small, but protected house on a block of land in rural Virginia. “Emily,” he said.
She jerked her head to him, having been engrossed in the pictures of herself that she had spotted. “What?” she asked worriedly.
He handed her the picture. At first she looked confused, but the moment of recognition came quickly. “Oh no,” she whispered.
“What is it?” asked Rossi.
They all looked between himself and Emily. He looked to her, not sure which of them should explain or how much he should even say.
“It’s a safe house,” said Emily eventually. “You know how Spencer was away last year doing confidential work for the Bureau? This is where he was. This photo looks like it was taken from inside the property line."
"That photo was taken right after I got there," he said gravely.
Emily blinked. "That was more than a year ago."
Whoever these Unsubs were, they had been preparing for this for a long time.
#criminal minds fic#spencer reid angst#aaron hotchner#bau team#bau team as family#criminal minds#criminal minds evolution#derek morgan#emily prentiss#criminal minds fandom#criminal minds hurt/comfort#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds angst#bisexual spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid#dr spencer reid#whump writing#spencer reid whump#spencer reid hurt/comfort
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Haiii, I hope this request iss Oki:
I'm a trans male little who sometimes still has to deal with periods.. they make me feel very dysphoric and sad, often causing me to regress..
Could you write a fic with that theme?
I'm not set on one specific fandom, here are some options I'd love to see & you can choose wich one you want to go with!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[The little one would be a trans guy in every scenario.]
Stranger Things:
Steve and Eddie, both are flips in my hc, so it could be each way around.
Cg Argyle & little Jonathan Byers
Cg Nancy Wheeler & little Steve Harrington
Marvel:
Cg Wade Wilson & little Peter Parker
Cg Gwen Stacy & little Miles Morales
Criminal Minds:
Cg Jennifer Jareau & little Spencer Reid (other cg options: Penelope or Derek)
Teen Wolf:
Cg Noah Stilinski & little Stiles Stilinski (other cg options: Melissa or Scott)
Cg Boyd & little Isaac Lahey
Supernatural:
Cg Dean Winchester & little Sam Winchester
American Horror Story coven:
Cg Violet Harmon & little Kyle Spencer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, yeah.. any of those would be cool hehe
Thank you for reading!!
My first ever request!! Thank you so much!! I was so excited and intrigued by your idea! First off I would like to state that I am not trans myself but I am a HUGE Ally to anyone in the LGBTQ+ community! Know that you’re safe with me and I got your back💞 I absolutely loved the list of fandoms and pairings to chose from. I decided to go with Caregiver! JJ and make the Reader the Little with Spencer as an older brother Little. That being said if I don’t do this story justice I apologize from the bottom of my heart! I hope you enjoy this @dino-boyo-agere ! Thank you again for the request!!
Forever Mommy’s Little Boy
Caregiver! JJ & Trans Male Little! Reader with Big Brother Little! Spencer Reid
Tags: mentions of period, pull-ups, hurt and comfort. (Completely SFW)
Relationships: Caregiver! JJ, Uncle Derek Morgan, Big brother little! Spencer Reid, Aunt Penelope Garcia, & Trans male little! Reader.
Nicknames: baby, sweatheart, baby boy, kiddo
Breathe! Just breathe! It’s only about 10 minutes more and we’ll be going home. I can wait that long.
I sat at my desk and was waiting patiently for JJ or Morgan or literally any Caregiver in this office to announce we would be heading home. They would’ve been wrapping up everything by now…what’s taking so long?
The case, like every case before it, was long and exhausting. All I want to do is collapse into JJ’s arms and just be babied for the rest of the night but we were still stuck at work!
Regression played the devil on my shoulder, teasing and taunting me to regress at work. But I couldn’t, not yet. I had to remain big till we got to the car, then I could regress and finally relax for the weekend.
I checked again to see if any Caregivers had finished their files. Morgan sat at the desk across from me and he was still leaned down working, same went for JJ who I wanted more than anyone to finish her paperwork. The rest of the team looked the same, all expect Spencer who, like myself, finished his work early.
Spencer regresses as well. He acts as my older brother, watching out for me and creating all the creative pretend games. I’m so lucky to have him!
With a glance towards him I could see he was struggling to keep from regressing as well. At least I wasn’t alone.
Then suddenly I felt off, like weirdly off. It was a weird feeling I haven’t felt in- oh God no. I must be wrong. I have to be wrong. I quickly stood up from my desk and rushed off to the restroom. I walked in and quickly closed the stall door behind me before checking to see.
Sure enough my period arrived earlier and heavier than expected. And since I was unprepared my pants and underwear are stained noticeably. I tried my hardest to push back tears threatening to spill.
This is dead to me. This…this period, it’s just a nagging reminder of a life that didn’t feel whole. A life that wasn’t really mine, not like now. But this was just a hurtful reminder, one I definitely didn’t need right now.
This combined with my struggle to not regress was not a great combo. With a last ditch effort I cleaned myself up as best as I could before walking out and looking in the mirror. But sad and terrible thoughts plagued my mind.
Tears started to run down my face. There was no holding back my regression now. Immediately I started to just regress, feeling smaller and smaller every minute. I just wanted JJ. I wanted her to hold me and tell me it’s all okay. Tell me I’m her sweet little boy and not-
“Y/n?” Spencer asked before entering the large bathroom. He immediately froze upon seeing me.
“Hey, what’s wrong? What happened?” I must’ve caused a domino effect because I could see Spencer regressing along with me.
“Nothing, I’m fine Spence.” I tried to say, wiping away my tears as fast as possible. But Spencer wasn’t buying it. He also didn’t seem to notice the issue which I was grateful for.
“I know something’s wrong. Let me help! I want to make sure you’re okay…please.” He put a hand in my shoulder and looked me in the eyes.
“I’m fine I just-…. P-Please…get mommy.” I said, barley a whisper. Tears starts to flow again, running down my face as I started to cry.
“It’s gonna be okay. I’ll go get her.” Spencer right away said. As much as he didn’t want to leave, he knew there was only one person who could fix whatever was happening.
~~~
JJ sat at her desk finishing up the last details on her case file. Even though they were still at work her careful Caregiver eyes spotted Y/n leaving the bullpen, and then Spencer right after.
A sinking feeling fell upon her that something was wrong, call it a Caregiver’s Spidey sense. She wishes for once she was wrong. Spencer came rushing over to her, worried and sad.
“M-…JJ, something’s wrong with Y/n.” He tried to explain sounding like his normal adult self. But his regression was in full swing and JJ could easily see it.
“What’s going on? Where is he sweetheart?” Now she was worried. A thousand questions played in her mind.
“The bathroom. I walked in to see if he was okay and I found him crying by the sink. I tried to help but he only asked for you.” Spencer explained.
JJ stood up from her desk and placed a comforting hand on Spencer’s shoulder. “Thank you for looking out for your little brother and making sure he’s okay. I’m going to take care of this, and while I’m gone I want you to go to Aunt Penelope’s office and keep her company. Okay?”
Spencer nodded. “Okay…but just-.” He stopped for a moment, looking up at JJ with tears in his eyes. “Just make sure he’s okay. I’m worried about him.”
She smiled and kissed the top of his head. “I know you are sweetheart. I promise I’ll make sure Y/N’s okay.”
With that small reassurance Spencer nodded and left heading towards Garcia’s office. With Spencer taken care of JJ turned her attention to the bathroom.
When she arrived she could hear Y/n soft cries and sniffing. She knocked on the door, “Y/N? It’s me baby, it’s Mommy. Can I come in?”
Even though it was a public bathroom filled with different stalls and sinks, she wanted permission to enter his space instead of barging in.
If she wasn’t listening as closely she could’ve missed the soft “You can come in.”
JJ immediately walked in and closed the main bathroom door behind her, locking it. If someone needed the bathroom they could go to the one a floor down. For right now they needed this space, just the two of them.
Once JJ and Y/N made eye contact, it was as if the world paused so the two of them could have a moment alone together.
Her heart shattered seeing Y/N so broken and upset. She instantly made her way over to her boy and wrapped him into a tight comforting hug.
“My baby boy, what’s wrong sweetheart? What’s happened?” She asked but didn’t get much in the way of a response.
Y/N just cried into JJ shoulder, finally getting the comfort he’s wanted after this long case.
JJ decided to help Y/N along with figuring out why he was so upset. She rubbed his back with one hand and played with his hair in the other. She could tell he wasn’t in the mode to talk and that was okay. Yes and no questions it was then.
“Did someone hurt you?” She asked. He shook his head against her.
“Did someone say something to you?” Another no from him.
Thank God those were two no’s. Because if they weren’t, she would’ve killed someone.
“Sweetheart,” She said pulling them apart and looking into his teary eyes. “I want to help you as best I can right now. But I can only do it when I know what’s going on. You don’t have to talk if you don’t feel like it right now. But you have to give me an idea what’s going on.” She explained.
Y/N nodded wearily. He turned around and pointed to his pants which now sadly had a small red blood stain on the back.
Immediately it all clicked into place for JJ. “Oh sweetheart I’m so sorry this happened. You’re okay baby boy, you’re okay.” She pulled him back up against her, holding him in a tight hug once more.
“Baby boy?” He broke apart and looked at JJ.
Her heart shattered at the question. She caressed his face and placed a kiss to the crown of his head, “You will always be my baby boy. This will not change that. It never has and it never will.”
More tears started to run down Y/N’s face hearing those words. JJ almost fell backwards by the force of the next hug he gave her.
“It’s okay baby. You’re okay. Mommy’s going to make it all better.” JJ said, rubbing his back to comfort him so more.
When the tears dried and his breath started to slow to a normal rate, JJ broke apart from her boy and wiped the last of the tears away.
“Here’s what we’re gonna do, I’m going to get you set up in the stall over here. Then I’m going to grab your bag and get you changed into something clean and comfortable. After that we’re going to get your brother and head home. Sound good?” She asked only to get a nod and a small smile from Y/N.
“Okay let’s get you set up then.” Taking his hand in hers, she led him over the the big stall in the bathroom. Inside was your standard public bathroom only this time with a changing table made especially for Littles.
“There,” she smiled. “Now, I’m going to grab your bag from my office. Keep the door locked okay?” That got another small nod from Y/N. With a small kiss to his head she left the stall, hearing a small click of the lock on the way out.
~~~
After JJ left the bathroom I felt uncomfortable again. She just made everything so safe and comfortable. Now without her here everything felt overwhelming, scary again.
But she wouldn’t be long. She just went to grab my bag and then we would go home. I couldn’t wait to be home again, laying on the couch with my favorite stuffie on one side and JJ on the other.
But my beautiful daydream was interrupted by the sound of someone entering the bathroom. Despite my stall door being closed, I backed myself far away from the door, my back hitting the wall.
This was a restroom, it would be ignorant of me to think no one else would use it. But I want to just be alone with JJ. Now with strangers walking into the space I felt more exposed and scared.
But the person who walked in stayed by the sinks. They didn’t walk into a stall or wash their hands. Before I had a moment to really question it further, the man spoke up.
“Hey kiddo it’s just Uncle Derek. Your mom just sent me in here to stop anyone from coming in. You doing alright in there?”
A wave of relief washed over me. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding and wiped a few stray tears.
“M’ doing okay.” I managed to say.
“That’s good to hear. You just let me know if you need anything okay?”
I nodded my head. But then I realized he couldn’t see it so I added a quick: “okay.”
Uncle Derek was a life saver! Not once but twice people tried to enter the bathroom but he redirected them away. I’m couldn’t have been more happy to have him there to protect me.
After what felt like years but was only really 15 minutes JJ returned and relieved Morgan of his guard duties. He knocked on the door before leaving.
“See you when you get out kiddo.” He added before leaving the bathroom to JJ and I once more.
I heard the main door to the bathroom lock before JJ knocked on the stall door. I quickly ran over and opened it to her only to see my favorite stuffie in her arms!
“I’m sorry I took so long. I thought your bag was in my office but it turns out it was in my car. But guess who was also in there waiting for you?”
I immediately grabbed the stuffie and brought him close. Between him and JJ being back, everything started to feel calm again.
“Alright baby boy, let’s get you all sorted out.”
JJ opened the changing table, quickly cleaned and placed a cover on. Then she went over to me and helped me and my stuffie up onto it.
With that she started to get to work, taking my shoes off, then my pants and underwear. Then she helped clean up and before I knew it she was sliding a fresh pull-up on me followed by my emergency set of pants.
“There you go,” she said rubbing my belly. “All fresh and clean.”
Suddenly a sad thought came across my head. “Mommy, I can’t wear a pull-up.”
“Why not? You’re too young not to wear one.” She pointed out, making me feeling smaller.
“No, it’s just that…it’s going to have blood on it.”
JJ sighed. She sat me up and held my hand in mine. “I want you to listen to me for a second Y/N. I don’t mind taking care of you whether you’re on or off your period. That changes nothing about the fact you’re my little boy. Do you understand? I still love you the same and I will never see you different. You are and will forever be my baby boy.”
More tears found their way to my eye as she pulled me into a hug once more. I felt so much better now that I was changed, but even more so now that I felt accepted. No matter what anyone said or what my body said, I’m her little boy. Forever.
“Now,” she said breaking apart. “We gotta go catch up with your brother. He’s very worried about you. I’d say he’s so worried he might let you chose the movie we watch tonight.” JJ winked.
“Really?!” I said shocked. Tonight was his movie night choice. But he was gonna let me chose?!
“Really! And if we’re really lucky we might be able to convince Uncle Derek and Aunt Penelope to stay and watch it with us.” JJ added as she helped me down.
Hand in hand the two of us walked out of that bathroom. Once out we went to Aunt Penelope’s office and met up with Spencer again.
He stood up and ran over to me “Y/n! Are you okay? I’ve been so worried!” He wrapped me in a tight hug.
I smiled against his shoulder, “I’m okay Spence.”
“While you were gone I thought of the coolest game we can play when we get home!” Spencer added excitedly once we broke apart.
“I can’t wait!” I smiled back.
“Come on boys, it’s time to go home.” JJ said after talking to Garcia.
Spencer took one hand and JJ took the other as we left the BAU. My little family always knew how to make me feel appreciated and accepted. Caregiver and Little boy. Forever and always.
#age regression#age regressor#agere#agere little#sfw age regression#sfw agere#agere post#age regression fic#trans male reader#caregiver!jj#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds#little!reader#little!spencer Reid#sfw age regressor#agere sfw#sfw littlespace#little space
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wild and free by Winchesterek
“Are you kidding me?” Stiles asked, looking out at the beautiful waterfalls cascading into the lake in front of them.
The water shimmered shades of green and blue, which looked like emeralds and malachite glistening in the sun. The spray of the waterfall floated through the air, a cool mist clinging to their skin, making Stiles feel sticky. It looked wild and overgrown, the foliage lush and leafy, clinging to the rocks around them.
When he looked back at Derek, his skin was slick with sweat and water, making Stiles want to lick and suck his salty skin. Derek turned to smile at him and it warmed Stiles’ heart, loving how happy Derek looked.
“Just one of the most beautiful places in Croatia, Plitvice Lakes,” Derek replied, reaching out to take Sitles’ hand. “Come on. We can make it down to the water and enjoy it for a little while before we have to head back.”
“Well, we can't stay because I didn't bring my pillow,” Stiles added with a chuckle. “You know I can't sleep without it.”
“Good thing I don't plan on camping out here, then. I know I can make sure that we don't get caught, but I wanna take you somewhere nice for dinner. It’ll take us about two hours to get back to the city so we should leave before the sun goes down.”
“Good thing we got here bright and early, then.” Stiles walked along with Derek carefully and descended along the path to the water, slowly climbing over slippery rocks.
Stiles wasn't sure if this was the beautifulest place he’d ever seen, because they’d been to so many places that were so beautiful that Stiles had a hard time believing that they were real. Like Elafonisi Beach, where they’d spent a week exploring Greece and bathing in the sun. Derek’s skin was beautiful and sunkissed, while Stiles looked a little bit like a lobster for a week afterward until it turned into a light tan.
Once they were down to the water, Stiles grinned as he watched Derek strip his shirt off and toss it onto the ground on top of their bags. He openly ogled his mate, knowing that Derek could scent his arousal and he smirked as Derek unnecessarily flexed for him, but acted like it was a casual action.
Stiles stripped down to his swim shorts and carefully walked across the rocks to the bank next to Derek. “Wow…the water is so clear.”
It was unimaginable to Stiles that water could be so clear, but they’d seen oceans just as clear when they sailed around the world together. “Oh, look! Fish!” Stiles pointed and Derek smiled.
“I’m sure they’ll leave us alone when we’re in the water. Come on, let’s get in!” Derek waded into the lake first while Stiles watched him skeptically.
“There isn't anything in there that will eat me, is there?” Stiles tried to look further into the water, but it was too far away for him to see much with his puny human eyesight.
“Nothing’s going to eat you, Stiles. I’ll protect you.” Derek dipped his head back into the water and ran his hands through his hair when he was upright again. “Get in here!”
“How are you sure?! You can't see all the way over there!” Stiles said, pointing.
“Really? Get in the water, Stiles. This isn't even salt water. There are no large predators in the water here,” Derek promised with an amused look, sighing. “Get in the water! You’re more likely to run into a bear out there than anything happening to you in here. Or step on a snake.”
Stiles looked around the forest and the ground before hurrying into the water. “Why didn't you tell me there were bears! I don't even have anything to protect myself with.”
Derek laughed, wrapping his arms around Stiles when he reached him. “You have me. I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I promise.”
“You better not,” Stiles replied, wrapping his arms around Derek and drawing him in close. “Because then you’re gonna be all alone on that sailboat. What on earth would you do without me?”
“Regret all my life choices,” Derek joked, but Stiles could tell that he was being serious. “You know I couldn't go on without you. If it’s the last thing I do, it’ll always be to protect you.”
“You know I feel the same way, Derek.” Stiles' voice was soft and almost a whisper, his hand moving to cup Derek’s cheek.
The last thing he wanted to do was make Derek think about losing him. It was why he’d left with Derek to begin with, because of his injury on the job. Unfortunately, Stiles’ brain-to-mouth filter didn't always work.
And Stiles knew that he was Derek’s anchor, just as much as Derek was Stiles’. Or, well, if he was a werewolf. As much as an anchor that Derek could be for Stiles being human.
“We’ll be okay,” Derek promised, kissing Stiles tenderly. “I’ll race you to the other side,” Derek added when they parted, then laughed and dunked Stiles under the water before taking off.
Stiles sputtered as he came up, shaking the water from his face.
“Not! Fair!” Stiles shouted after Derek. “And you can't use your werewolf speed!”
But Derek was almost already at the other end of the small lake as Stiles ran his hands through his hair.
He smiled, the hot sun shining down on them and warming his skin, the cool clear water rippling around him.
This was their life. Traveling the world and being together.
It was all that Stiles ever wanted, just him and Derek and a world full of possibilities.
He dove into the water, knowing that he’d never win or catch up to Derek. But Stiles was perfectly fine with that because Derek would make it up to him later, sprawled out in the sailboat cabin, taking him apart until Stiles couldn't feel his toes and he was warm all over.
Croatia was going to become one of his favorite places in the world, full of memories.
Of him and Derek. Happy and free.
#sterek#derek hale#stiles stilinski#teen wolf#eternalsterek#sterek is eternal#eternal sterek#sterek au#sterek fanfic#derek x stiles#stiles/derek#stiles x derek#derek/stiles#alpha derek hale#alpha derek#true alpha derek hale#mine#my fic#my art
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✰MASTERLIST✰
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Hello! I'm a part of a lot of fandoms and I like to write!
Here's my Masterlist of all of the fandoms/characters I'll be writing for and all of my works and works in progress.
But I write slower than fuck, please bear with me lol.
Requests are open! ♡
(Check out my pinned post for more information)
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ☆ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
American Horror Story
I can see this one being the cause of a lot of darkfics, especially Hotel. There will always be a trigger warnings list before anything I write, so please read it if you feel like you might need it.
Kit Walker
Lana Winters
Cordelia Goode
Madison Montgomery
Misty Day
The Countess
James Patrick March
John Lowe
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Attack On Titan
I'm gonna be honest; I haven't finished it. But I want to, even though I know the ending! But I've also been wanting to write for them... So please forgive me if they seem a little out of character, it'll get better I promise! I'll also probably be rewatching and getting caught up on it while writing these lol. I'll update y'all!
Armin Arlert
Connie Springer
Eren Jaeger
Hange Zoë
Jean Kirstein
Levi Ackerman
Mikasa Ackerman
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
The Boys
This show is so fucked up 😭 but unfortunately the cast is hot as hell, SO- if you have any requests I'm happy to hear them! Also my favorites are Maeve, Hughie, Kimiko Annie, and Frenchy ♡
Annie January
Billy Butcher
Black Noir
The Deep
Frenchy
Homelander
Hughie Campbell
Mother's Milk
Queen Maeve
Victoria Neuman
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
I had a really bad "Criminal Minds" hyper fixation 2 years ago, but I got out of it before I could finish any of the fics I had set up for them, so I deleted most of them like a year ago 😭
Celebrities
Y'all know that one "Juno position" that Sabrina Carpenter did in Paris?.... Yeah.... YEAH-
Aidan Gallagher
Wes Bentley
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Criminal Minds
Aaron Hotchner
Derek Morgan
Emily Prentiss
Jennifer Jareau
Penelope Garcia
Spencer Reid
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
D.C.
I just recently rewatched the first "Deadpool" movie and remembered how much I love it, so I'll hopefully be writing for him soon, as well as Harley Quinn! I'm also thinking that maybe I'll write about both of them x reader... But I'm not sure, we'll see!
Harley Quinn
Wade Wilson / Deadpool
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Jujustu Kaisen
So I haven't watched the second season 🙈 I was really liking it! but, in all honesty-
⚠SPOILERS⚠
I got spoiled on pretty much everything and I just could not continue on, knowing almost all of them were gonna die 😭.
Gojo Satoru
Megumi Fushiguro
Nanami Kento
Nobara Kugisaki
Yuji Itadori
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Life is Strange
Fun fact! I've never played this myself, I've just watched Jacksepticeye play it a lot, lolol. ♡ I'll probably add Rachel and Sean to this list but I definitely need to re-watch those two first.
Chloe Price
Max Caulfield
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
My Hero Academia
This is the first place I tried to shift too (iykyk), It never happened- but I might try again soon!
Denki Kaminari
Eijiro Kirishima
Iiada Tenya
Izuku Midoriya
JiTn BuWbaIigaCwaEra
Katsuki Bakugo
Kyoka Jiro
Momo Yaoyorozu
Shoto Todoroki
Tamaki Amajiki
Toya Todoroki
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Ouran High School Host Club
My comfort anime. it's problematic but it's so good.
Haruhi Fujioka
Hikaru Hitachiin
Kaoru Hitachiin
Kyoya Ootori
Takashi Morinozuka
Tamaki Suoh
Mitskuni Haninozuka
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Spy X Family
I love this show, I haven't finished it yet- but that's only because I'm waiting for the second part of the second season to be dubbed on Hulu!
Loid Forger
Yor Forger
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
The Sturniolo Triplets
I'm hyper-fixating on Matt at the moment, so I'm really sorry if I'm slow at writing for literally anyone else. 😭
Chris Sturniolo
Matt Sturniolo
Nick Sturniolo
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
The Umbrella Academy
I absolutely love this show, I'm happy to talk about it with whoever wants to!
Allison Hargreeves
Ben Hargreeves
Diego Hargreeves
Five Hargreeves
Klaus Hargreeves
Lila Pitts
Luther Hargreeves
Viktor Hargreeves
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
The Walking Dead
This is probably my favorite show ever; I've been watching it from the very start. Talk with me about it in my asks or messages!
Beth Greene
Daryl Dixon
Glenn Rhee
Maggie Rhee
Michonne
Negan Smith
Rick Grimes
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ☆ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
And that's it!
(For now, at least.)
I would like to restate what I said at the top of this post; I really do want to write. I love thinking of ideas, planning it out, and writing it!
But I'm a very indecisive person as well as a perfectionist and so honestly, I'm just very slow at it. 😅
I promise I'll try to post as often as I can, though.
I love y'all! Talk to you later. ♡
#american horror story#attack on titan#criminal minds#jujutsu kaisen#life is strange#my hero academia#ouran high school host club#spy x family#the sturniolo triplets#the umbrella academy#the walking dead#smut#angst#darkfic#sickfic#fluff#hurt/comfort#smt-obsessed#masterlist#🍪#aidan gallagher#wes bentley
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Who is your favorite character in every game you gameplayed?
Gameplayed or not for yt, there it comes:
Btd 1: Strade cause he is something... Messy and i like it
Btd 2: .D, definily
The price of flesh: Stupid Derek for sure
Lovers trophy: its hard to decide but Wade, he does his past hit my past like a damn train so its fair
Courtin Cowboys: Florence cause the motherfucker is twisted and acts like he is in Melanie Martinez's Death
Lurking for love: Jacob, not only cause he looks like my boyfriend but also cause its comfy seeing him fighting with Austin
John Doe: his tshirt, cause it changes everytime he feels a diferent emotion
Br0ken colors: OUR FRIEND DG FOR SURE!
#courtincowboys#courtin cowboys#lovers trophy#boyfriend to death 2#boyfriend to death#the price of flesh#lurking for love#john doe#br0ken colors
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