#WHY DO KEI AND SUZU NEVER TALK ABOUT IT

[literal-ghost]

I watched Belle the other night and I have such weird feelings about it.

There's a lot of interesting ideas to explore in the film, like creative expression and how you are perceived when you put it out there. What power dynamics do in online spaces (I thought the concept of the corrupt moderator lead was neat, but of course there needed to be a 'Gaston' character, and that was a clever way of putting one in the story), and how perceived power just through attention and popularity can affect a person, whether it's positive OR negative attention. And of course, the internet as escapism, of creating a persona to express what you cannot in your regular life, and how real and affecting your friendships with others can be, and how special those connections are.

I am all about those points, and I'm sure that tons of people can find something to relate to from their own lives and experiences online.

But

The way characters moved through the narrative to navigate to those points felt awkwardly alien and clunky. The execution of the plot was so fucking weird. I get what the film was trying to do and it could have pulled it off better. The first kinda hour and 15 minutes into the film, I had said put loud, "this isn't bad, per say, but it feels like the movie equivalent of eating plain, untoasted white bread right out of the bag." The plots between Suzu's real life and what was going on in U felt so disconnected from one another, and maybe that was intentional? But even when those plot points converge and things come to a head at the film's climax, I found myself so frustrated at the characters (why in a room full of her friends and FIVE GROWN ADULTS would they encourage Suzu to go ALONE??? What does Suzu showing up actually accomplish to help the situation? I get the whole thing of her overcoming her grief by coming to understand her mother and her choice to act, and the tension of that scene was very well done, but what are we expected to believe comes AFTER???)

And like. I'm not a dummy about picking up on the grief that Suzu and the Beast share with each other. It's very obvious with the broken portrait, the spilled roses, and the glimpse into Beast's real life. But I wish they would have spent more time explicitly extrapolating on that point and having them bond in some way more than "this person continued to try to reach out to me even when I pushed them away". I wish they had room for some realer feeling semblance of friendship to bloom between them that wasn't just the Ballroom scene being shoved in there just to go "hey look it's Beauty and the Beast!!!". I know allegorically that the dance was them opening up to one another, but it still felt like these characters had almost no real basis for a friendship that strong. Suzu is obsessed from the start with asking the Beast "who are you" instead of "why do you fight like that", and I think that's the more important question to know the answer to. And also the one more approachable!!! Like fuck. Imagine meeting a stranger online and you need to find out who they really are behind the screen before you know literally anything else about them. And she kinds flops between having a desire to find out and wanting to protect his privacy, and I guess this is a way of her wanting to connect to this person, but also empathizing and knowing how important HER privacy is to her. But it's just ??????

Anyway, uh.

It was a pretty film. Very cool to look at, with interesting ideas, but presented with a clunky way of trying to explore them. Overall execution left me feeling like I didn't need to watch this film a second time. But in U, Moderators will doxx you in open forum if you fuck up enough, and that's a hilarious concept to me.

[mikaelle-story]

Chapter 3: A Dark Discovery

Read Chapter 2

The unease settled over Aozora High School like an unrelenting fog. Over the next week, strange phenomena began to plague Kiyomi and her friends.

Kiyomi’s photos, once vibrant and full of life, now appeared distorted. Shadows seemed to crawl within the frames, smudging the faces of her subjects and turning moments of joy into scenes of quiet dread. At first, she thought it was a technical error, but no matter what camera she used, the strange distortions persisted.

Meanwhile, Suzu had started hearing sounds in the music room late at night. When she checked, she found her piano keys pressed as though an invisible force was playing them. The notes that echoed were haunting and discordant, sending chills down her spine.

Noriko wasn’t spared either. She discovered pages missing from her journal—pages where she’d poured her most private thoughts. In their place, scraps of paper appeared, bearing the same chilling message: “The past is alive.”

By the end of the week, the group decided to confront the unsettling occurrences. Kiyomi gathered everyone in the library

Kiyomi: "Guys, do you ever think that Akari was involved on to this?"

Noriko: "Don’t jump to conclusions, Kiyomi. We don’t know anything for sure yet. If she’s connected, we need to find out more about her first."

Suzu: "She’s been acting… strange lately. But why would Akari do something like this? What would she gain?"

Erika: "We need answers."

The group made their way to the school archives—a dusty, forgotten room tucked away in the old building. The air was stale, and the scent of aged paper hung heavy as they combed through files and records. Hours passed before Kiyomi pulled out an old, faded yearbook. The caption read: Aoi Kuriyami, Class of 1995.

Kiyomi: “She was bullied relentlessly… disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Her body was never found.”

The room fell silent as the weight of the revelation sank in.

Suzu: "Kuriyami… That’s Akari’s last name."

Erika: “Could they be related? Aoi might be… her mother, or sister?”

Noriko: “If that’s the case, then maybe these strange things… they’re connected to whatever happened to Aoi. Akari might not be causing them, but she could be the key to figuring it out.”

Kiyomi: “There’s only one way to find out. We need to talk to Akari—and figure out what she knows about this.”

The friends exchanged nervous glances, the flickering light above casting long shadows across the room. None of them knew what truths they were about to uncover, but one thing was certain: the darkness surrounding Aozora High School was deeper than they had imagined.

Read Chapter 4

[kannra21]

Daisuzu after ep11 💴💗

OK we have Hoshiharu as well surprise surprise! @innovativestruggles this is your request of Suzue inviding Daisuke's bed at night so here ya go~ *there's a moment you'll think it'd turn into something explicit but in reality it's not so enjoy!*

That night Daisuke went to bed earlier after completing his business commitments, he was tired and reluctant of doing any other sorts of activities. He changed into his gray pajamas, brushed his teeth and tucked himself under the sheets, the same sheets Suzue brought him under a couple of days ago and he smiled a little. Now that he remembered it, it reminded him of the embarrassment he needed to undergo in order to avoid HEUSC's curiosity of trying to collect data on the things they were discussing during their stay at the mansion.

At least he was glad that everything was over; Kikuko was arrested, the AL was handed to MCPTF and everyone threw a big party to celebrate another marvelous win in the name of justice. Daisuke stayed just for a little bit because Kato and Hoshino got so drunk that they tied ties around their heads, climbed on the table and started singing incomprehensibly and although it looked funny, it wasn't for a person like him, the millionaire detective who got used to high-end types of gatherings. Besides, he couldn't allow himself to pass out in front of so many people, Kato was an exception though and it stayed at that.

When he arrived home, it was the first time that Suzue saw him after everything they've been going through. She stood at the entrance expectantly but refused to move any further because, although she felt enormous happiness upon seeing him coming back safe, she wanted to respect his boundaries and not to let her feelings get to her. Nonetheless, she couldn't completely deny them and that was prominent when the tears she was holding in for so long started falling down her face. Daisuke approached her with a bottle of Dom Perignon Champagne from 1973 and hugged her as if his life depended on it. The guilt of worrying her so much during their fight at the ship made him realize just how much Suzue meant to him and he wanted to let her know.

They drank the champagne in elegant thin glasses while the fireplace radiated with beautiful autumn-like atmosphere inside of their royal mansion. They talked and Suzue couldn't keep her hand away from his which Daisuke didn't mind. In fact, it made him calm and he felt a certain warmth filling his heart. He finally felt free after a long time; his days weren't boring and hollow anymore, his mother's murder has finally been solved and he made sure to check on his old man once a week. The doctors told him to give him some time for recovery since his memory was still damaged from the way Kikuko locked him out. Daisuke listened to their instructions and hoped for the best, everything he wanted was talk to his father the way he always used to.

Seeing Suzue's concerned expression made him sympathize and he invited her to sit with him on the sofa. Suzue blushed on the suggestion but she got up and sat down on his lap, with her legs crossed to his right. He placed one hand on her back while the other held her hand on her lap. Suzue leaned against his chest and Daisuke watched her eyes from below. She was beautiful like this and he snuggled his head into her right shoulder.

"He's going to be alright, I have a good feeling about this." Daisuke reassured.

"I can't believe that Mrs. Kikuko held him like this for 19 years. The sole thought of us sharing the same space during your absence sent chills down my spine."

"I know but now she's in a place where she belongs and you're safe. Please stop worrying, you've been doing this all day long."

He kissed her shoulder and she leaned her head on his.

"I know but it's hard to believe after everything we've been going through. She was so nice and I trusted her."

"Yes but she never really loved us. Everything she ever did was taking care of her own interests, money and adollium. And it meant so much more to her than my mother’s life or my father's well-being. This entire family was suffering because of her and her obsession with materialism clouded her mind."

...

"But that's why I have you and from now on there will never be a day where my motivations won't be aimed at anything else but our own happiness."

Suzue kissed him and this was actually the first time they ever shared a moment like this. Their lips parted and they looked at each other with big surprised eyes. Suzue started apologizing and getting up from her position but Daisuke pulled her back and kissed her more passionately. Suzue couldn't believe that he truly returned her feelings. After so many dangers and so many missions, he decided to show affection on the most carefree of events. He wasn't drunk, but she truly couldn't tell since his face was just as flush as when he used to exaggerate with his drink or two and she laughed a little. The blush was a nice contrast to his deep blue eyes and she leaned closer to capture his lips again but then he turned her around on her back and now she was laying on the sofa while he was hovering above her. He started to remove his waistcoat but then Suzue interrupted

"Don't you love this sofa? You're always talking about it as if it's one of your favorite items in the house."

Daisuke laughed under his breath, way to ruin the moment.

"I can buy a new sofa but I can't buy you. You are irreplaceable, my dear. Is that a satisfying enough reason for you?"

"Hm yes I think you're ri-" Daisuke caught her lips once again and continued leaving trails down her neck and collar bone.

Suzue removed his black striped tie, he unbuttoned her taupe-colored coat and the moment the situation started to heat up, Daisuke's phone ringed and he picked it up annoyingly.

On the other line was Kato who was talking somewhat slurishly "Kambe.. bout our movin' to England.. I just remembered bout the visas.. and travel insurance. I need to check everythin' before the final term.. so tell me when do you plan on leavin'. I be wantin' to do everything on time."

"You're planning on doing this drunk?"

"I'm not DRUNK Kambe.. I can still stand!"

"Congratulations on being one with the mankind, Kato-keibu."

Hoshino answered from the other side "Kambe-san! Please take care of sempai.. And don't let him go too far. You know how he can be."

"What does that even mean Hoshi?!" Haru sounded offended.

"Nothing.. besides the fact that you're reckless af.. which is hot."

"Reallyyyyyy~" Haru teased him and rustling could be heard through the phone.

"Guys can you leave the snogging for another time? I have something important to do."

"W-w-who is snogging?!" Hoshino sounded flustered.

"Who are you doing? Suzue-san?" Haru teased.

"It's really none of yo-"

"Ah-ah, don't try to deny it Kambe. I saw you two comin' from your room.. looking like a MESS!"

"Wait really?! Hoshino exclaimed surprised."

"Yup."

"I thought the two were related.. they looked similar tho."

"We're getting this all the time, it's for Suzue's decoy." Daisuke said.

"Oooooooo!" the guys replied in unison and Daisuke massaged his temples. Why was he even talking to the two drunks?

"Anyways, Kato, you have a week before departure and in the meantime you'll be able to organize everything. If there's a problem with time management you can contact me and I'll pay for the insurance if needed."

"Thanks Kambe! In moments like this I completely forget what of an asshole you can be. Say hi to Suzue for me."

Daisuke ended the call and sighed in defeat. He turned around expecting Suzue on the sofa but she wasn't there, great.

She came from the kitchen carrying two cups of Twinings Pure Camomile Tea and handed him the cup.

"It's been a long day and I thought you might need something for the relaxation."

"I'm sorry for this."

Suzue pecked his lips and stroked the back of his neck "You know that I love you all the same, no matter what happens."

Daisuke leaned and pressed their foreheads together "I'm going to miss you so much."

"Why?" Suzue was confused.

"You need to relax too, you deserve it. What do you say about a nice little vacation while I'm fighting crimes in the UK?"

"In this case I want to be in England for the vacation. What if something happens and I won't be able to help?" Suzue pouted and Daisuke smiled softly, she was so cute.

"That's the point of the vacation dear, you're supposed to enjoy yourself more. I'll be fine," Daisuke touched his earing device "HEUSC, give me the most luxurious destination to spend holidays in."

"However you say."

"Are you sure about this? You won't mind?" Suzue asked concerned.

"Of course. Besides, you never really got the chance to relax since you were too preoccupied with my mother's case."

"Place of your interest: Bora Bora, French Polynesia." HEUSC replied.

"Here, I'll book you the rest and everything you have to do is take the stuff you'll need. Don't forget the sunscreen, the sun is really strong out there."

Suzue looked sheepishly at her fingers fiddling "Thank you, I don't want to come across as ungrateful but I'd really appreciate if you joined me one day. That is, if you ever find the time."

"It's going to be difficult since the crime rate is getting higher because of the adollium smuggle. It's another challenge for all of us, but we will overcome that as well."

He took her hands in his "So yes, I'll join you for a day or more."

"Good enough for me." Suzue smiled and hugged him and he returned with the same warmth and comfort. They stayed like this for some time while Suzue held her head on his shoulder. It was a feeling she never wanted to forget.

And that's how it came about. They entered their own rooms, did their nightly routine and went to bed. And as much as he tried, Daisuke couldn't fall asleep because of all the things that went through his head. The world will be a more dangerous place from now on and adollium will be one of the key milestones in preserving the well-being of all people. Maybe the grandma was right, maybe the world wasn't mature enough for this kind of responsibility. Perhaps Kato helped him in bringing one of the most important decisions in his life, but then what? How can he proceed? What should he do? Was there a reason for him to be worried at all? He felt guilty for his family's project and troubles it brought for all of them. He could convince Suzue in his words but there was no way he could convince himself. He was hopeless.

But then he heard someone quietly entering his room and, being the only other person in the house, of course he concluded that it was Suzue. He heard her carefully inviding his bed, lying behind his back and placing her hands around him on his chest. Without a word, he took her smaller hand in his own and kissed her knuckles.

Maybe his life just became more difficult but as long as Suzue was there by his side, he could sleep without a worry in the world.

@daisuzuship @narcopharmacist @unholysoggytea @riaymei @ieatcrumbs @cow-goes-oof @matchabucks @bluegleeful @levi-is-heicho @kakooshi @kokorokai @darknessrxse @fluffyyagiza @geniusmeemee @sungmnnnn @koalarin @alstroemerie @petiamaximoff38 @hellohellokookie @marialenikiforov

[sparkythehappygiraffe]

Yoooo before I read y’alls thoughts on part 3, I’m just gonna dump all of mine here, y'all have probably already talked about some of this, but here’s my initial reaction (it’s kinda a lot lol)

Beware spoilers

WHEN I SAID MRS. MADO WAS SUS RIGHT AFTER PART 1 I SOOOOO CALLED IT BAHAHAHAHAHAH

Suzu really did kidnap Emily, but THEN Mado ALSO kidnapped Emily, poor Emily geez

Forest Mountain!!! (Okay but also how in the world did they get all the way to Forest Mountain?? We know for sure it’s AT LEAST a 19 minute drive from Odyssey, probably more like 30 or 40 and you’re telling me Suzu and Emily walked all the way there? Sureeeeeee)

The shack AAHHHHHHHHHH, I miss Novacom

Suzu claims to have installed the trapdoor, but like we know it was there because that’s where the Imagination Station was right...? Maybe it’s not the same shack? Maybe Suzu just never found the hidden room? Still doesn’t make any sense tbh

The score still slaps bros

Emily really just sacrificed herself for someone again didn’t she? What a gal, who knew I would come to admire a middle schooler

“Same old Whit’s End, same old Whit’s office” AH you know she’s thinking of that whole stand down from Name, Not a Number (and all the times she and Jason went up there to talk 😢)

Whit explaining Remembrance Day had me DYING, like you know it was just because kids have no idea what they’re talking about, but it was so funny to me

The figurine reminds me SO MUCH of the statue of liberty debacle from Sounds Like a Mystery

“Are there more agents here in Odyssey?” “I’m not allowed to say” THE IMPLICATIONS AASASAFASFHGDFHADH Is Jason still in the game after all? If not then who the hek is it? Is this a clue for something later? Or yet another casual Easter egg that will lead to nothing? We may never know and that drives me nutssssssss

“To conduct espionage on US soil” “And has she?” “I can’t say that either” “Awww” Same Morrie, same. Also big Search for Whit vibes lol, Morrie is actually Jason 😂

“First things first, do you have the maple leaf-” “That’s not the first thing, Suzu do you know where Emily and Mrs. Mado are??” LOLLLLL Tasha always thinking about the job first, people later 😂 And Whit’s just like Tasha nO. Also hOW did Suzu get all the way back to Whit’s End I dont understanddddd

Emily sending a lil secret message just like Tasha did in Name, Not a Number ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what a queen

This whole exchange situation is JUST like Name, Not a Number and I LOVE it

But also none of this makes the entire first part of the Rydell saga make any frickin sense smh. Like, the locker mystery still DOES NOT add up at allllllllllll. I’m so annoyed.

“You look different somehow” “it’s what happens when someone you trust betrays you” Now that we know that was actually Tasha, that comment makes me feel 🥺 she knows that feeling too well rip

Im a little confused about how that whole Imagination Station trick worked tho, but also I love it lol. There would be no drama in Odyssey without the Imagination Station would there 😂

Is this the same water works plant where Charles Edward Thompson saved Odyssey? Because idk why, but I find that funny

“Why not? He already locked me in a room and sucked out all the air, why not drown me this time?” Emily nooooooooooo, she deserves better

Was Mado actually hurting Tasha? How did that even work, I feel like Tasha and Suzu are pretty different in stature...? Imagination Station magic

GO TASHA YOU KICK BUTT LADY I LOVE YOU

Whit said the modification that could make someone seem like someone else came from a “different program I developed recently” THE IMPLICATIONS AGAIN Whit what are you up to??? It also reminded me of Blackgaard in Blackgaard’s Revenge tho which is a little scary

CONSPIRACY THEORY: Blackgaard really did manage to put his mind in Mr. Whittaker and that’s why he’s been acting sooooo off lately

Tasha just slips off into the night... SADNESS

We still have no idea what her job at the agency is at this point tho and that’s annoying

CONFIRMED Tasha knows Jason isn’t dead I flippin KNEW it, I’ve been saying it this whole time, I’m proud of myself 😂

What do you MEAN don’t tell Jason????? WHY??? IM SO UPSETTTTTTTTTTT

But when Whit says he won’t, he sounds low key sad and I’d love to understand why or what we somehow missed here, like what is HAPPENING?

Emily sounds so hurt and I HATE it

We all joke about the Whittakers endangering half the kids in Odyssey but WHAT THE HEK WHIT?? “Maybe I should have stepped in sooner” YA THINK?? WHERE HAS ALL OF HIS GOOD JUDGEMENT GONE? I DONT SEE IT ANYWHERE

Whit they’re 12, they aren’t supposed to be in life threatening situations, what is WRONG with you?

Whit that is NOT a satisfactory answer

Low key hype to still have the Rydells around tho

Dad Whit comin out full force tho, which I am very much here for

Finally gettin his foster kids (after all that jazz with Clara and Tony and Brianna, he’s been wanting this FOREVER)

But I just want to point out, we know two GENIUS foster parents that would know what to do with two GENIUS foster kids, I’m just saying, idk why this wasn’t more obvious here (it would probably be quite the chaotic time with Buck and everything, buuuuuuuut it could work)

I guess that’s all I have to say for now, but Imma go read what you guys thought, I’m VERY excited

[polar-stars]

Some Incorrect Quote Madness

[Lola pays Takayuki to get rid of a hornet nest]

Lola: I put some tools he needs, and if he chooses correctly he will conquer it.

Kimiko : And if he doesn’t?

Lola : He will die.

-

Ayano: I’m gonna say the s word.

Ayano: Shit.

Kei: WHAT THE FUUUCK DONT SAY THAT!

Takayuki: STOP FUCKING SWEARING!

-

Suzume: How can I put this… Murder.. it’s just not cool!

Akio: I agree, Hojo-san, ok? No one is saying murder is cool, okay?

Shigeo: I’ll take [rips ninja star out of a fresh corpse] that!

Akio: …OK, maybe him, a little bit…

Suzume, wanders after Shigeo: Hey now, that’s enough, mister!

-

Kimiko: You suck.

Masashi: Insubordination!

Kimiko: Sir, you suck, Sir.

-

Shigeo: Aren’t you sugar and spice and everything nice.

Suzume: Well, aren’t you rudeness and sarcasm and everything… uh…

Shigeo: No, go on. You find something that rhymes with sarcasm and makes sense, and I’ll take the fall tonight.

-

Kimiko: I’ve been feeling kind of sluggish lately.

Hiraku: I like slugs.

-

[confronted by an angry, bellowing bull]

Hideyoshi, whispering: I’ve got a plan.

Daisuke: What is it?

Hideyoshi: Uh, well… uh, you… pet him.

Daisuke: Yeah…

Hideyoshi: And I’ll… RUN.

Daisuke: Oh, well, thanks a lot!

-

Shigeo: You look happy. Let me guess, your sandwich fell on the floor at the restaurant, and they gave it to you for free.

Kimiko: No. Can you do that? Why doesn’t everyone just drop their sandwiches on the floor?

Shigeo: I was trying to insult you.

Kimiko: And instead you gave me an amazing life-hack.

-

Suzume: If a guy calls you ‘princess’ in a condescending matter, assert your newly appointed royal status and have him beheaded.

-

Hiroshi: I love your heart shaped sunglasses, they’re very festive.

Hideyoshi: I’m in love.

Hiroshi: With who?

Hideyoshi: Myself.

-

Kiyoko, to Masashi: Would you like to stay for dinner?

Momo, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay forever?

-

Shigeo: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

-

Noboru: Look, I am going to be frank.

Hiraku: Okay, can I still be Hiraku?

-

Lola: Me, I’m a person of action. You have to act first and apologize later. Like I have learned to do.

Mona: You never apologize.

Lola: I would if I had ever been wrong.

-

Hideyoshi: Alcohol tastes better when you’re underage because the secret ingredient is crime.

-

Suzume: What do you want? You want to kill me?

Shigeo: You really think I’m that boring? I’m a person of far more vision than simple murder.

-

Chieko: Boy, Kawashima, I’d love to tell you what I think of you. But I’m too much of a lady to use that kind of language in public.

Hideyoshi: I appreciate that.

Chieko: BUT WAIT TILL I GET YOU HOME!

-

Suzume: [throws shoe at Shigeo]

Shigeo: HOW DID YOU GET YOUR SHOE OFF THAT FAST?

Takayuki: They don’t call her Fast Shoe Off Suzu for nothin’.

Suzume: No one calls me that.

Takayuki: They should.

-

Kaori: I know we’ve always had this unspoken rivalry.

Kimiko: It’s not a rivalry, you’re just always mean to me. And it’s not unspoken, you talk about it all the time.

-

Hiraku: When have I done anything rash or irresponsible?

Noboru: I keep a list. It’s alphabetized.

-

Kazuo: Are you a big spoon or a little spoon?

Takayuki: I’m a knife.

Suzume, from across the room: He’s a little spoon.

-

Hideyoshi: We have fun, don’t we?

Chieko: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

-

Noboru: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Shigeo: Hey, Yukihira, how tall are you?

-

Kimiko: See, Hayama-san, the way this whole friendship thing works is you have to tell each other the deep stuff.

Kaori: The deep stuff? Uh oh. Like what?

Kimiko: Like… what’s your favorite color?

Kaori: Now you’ve stepped over the line.

-

Suzume: Before you say no-

Noboru: No.

Suzume: But I haven’t even told you yet.

Noboru: I’m sticking with no.

-

Umino: Hello, Boss. Make anybody cry today? Shigeo: Sadly, no, but it’s only 4:30.

-

Takayuki: Sorry, I lost my cool for a second.

Lola: You can’t lose something you never had.

-

Hiraku: Am I right, Eizan?

Shigeo: I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, I wasn’t listening.

-

Yasu: It’s hard being the mom friend sometimes, but I love my friends and that’s what matters-

Hideyoshi: Ibusaki! I tried to make ramen in the coffee pot and I broke everything!

-

Hiraku, to Kimiko: First of all, you’re throwing too many big words at me. Because I don’t understand them, I’m gonna take them as disrespect.

-

Masashi, to Shigeo: We don’t use bad words in this house.

Kei, in the distance: FUCK!

-

Mika: Please. Picking locks is my specialty.

Mika: [throws brick through window]

Mika: Okay, let’s go!

Hiroshi:

-

Yamada: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong?

Umino: Strong.

Koharu: Weak.

Shigeo: You’re an idiot, that’s what you are.

-

Emi: So, what’s that Yoshida Koharu like? Itsuki: If Hannibal Lecter and Freddy Krueger had a lovechild, that kid would be afraid of Yoshida-senpai.

-

Suzume: Must you always attack me with words?

Shigeo: You want me to use rocks?

-

Kiyoko: Surgery is just stabbing someone to life.

Noboru: Please never become a surgeon.

-

Shigeo: Yukihira can’t read a book.

Hiraku: I can read a book!

Shigeo: Name three books you’ve read.

Hiraku: Boogie Bear, Boogie Bear II and Boogie Bear III: The Return of Boogie Bear.

-

Ran: We’re not going to burn it.

Takayuki: Come on, Ran-san. You never let me burn anything.

-

Itsuki: I’m going to die!

Emi: Think positive, Itsuki!

Itsuki: I’m going to die quickly!

-

Yamada: Bro, I want to live in your socks.

Umino: What the fuck, bro?

Yamada: So I can be with you every step of the way.

Umino: [close to tears] Bro?

Yamada: Bro.

-

Hiroshi: Kawashima, be charming, but not too charming.

Hideyoshi: That’s like asking Superman not to be too super.

-

Kei: But still, isn’t that taking advantage of people?

Etsuya: I see nothing wrong with taking advantage of the stupid.

Shigeo: That’s why we have stupid people.

-

A Random: Sorry, are you in charge here?

Lola: I’m Nakiri Lola, I’m in charge everywhere.

-

Itsuki: [holding his breath]

Emi, timing: Holy crap, 4 minutes!

Itsuki: [exhales] The trick is not caring if you live or die.

-

Suzume: It’s moments like these that I’ll never forget.

Noboru: With a good therapist, hopefully I will.

-

Kimiko: Lola just created a group chat called Nakiri Lola’s Surprise Party and then left the group

Hideyoshi: I’m feeling a lot of emotions…but mostly respect

-

Kimiko: You know, money can’t buy you happiness.

Shigeo: No. But it can buy me a jet ski and I’ve never seen anybody looking sad on one of those.

-

Daisuke, looking at the camera after Hideyoshi does something stupid: Do you ever look at your best friend who you've known your whole life, been through thick and thin, shared your whole life with them, and think, "I'd just love to fucking knock you out?"

-

Kiyoko: Ran-chan, how do I get revenge on people who've betrayed me?

Ran: Oh, Kiyoko-san, the best revenge is letting go and living well!

Kiyoko:

Kiyoko: Shigeo-kun, how do I--

-

Hideyoshi: As your best friend-

Yasu: Chi-chan’s my best friend.

Hideyoshi: AS YOUR BEST FRIEND

-

Suzume: I love this picture of our friends, we look so happy!

Akio: Where's Hiraku-sama?

Suzume: We hadn't met him yet, that's why we were so happy.

-

Akio: I did a bad thing, a bad, bad terrible thing!

Shigeo: Does it affect me?

Akio: No...

Shigeo: Then suffer in silence.

[ruination-fangs]

Jude Stage 6: To Each Their Own Doubts

*  from Asteria’s fourth chapter, “Recollections of Eden”

[<- stage 5] [stage 7 ->]

Scene 1

Alone in her room, Leia is distraught over what happened. She doesn't even know where she is; she's never heard of Entelestia, and has no idea where Rinnell Village or Auj Oule are from there. She wonders where Meredy is, and why she forgot everything until just now, and why Jude doesn't seem to remember any of it either.

Leia: Aaugh! My head's so messed up, I can't even think straight! And what happened with that crystallization stuff? I promised Elize that I would watch Milla while she's crystallized*... Sigh... This must be what's happening to all those "criminals.” I guess we've lost our memories...

What she can't figure out is why her memory returned suddenly, and, now that she thinks about it, why that's illegal and treated like a bad thing. It's not like it hurts anyone - on the contrary, she thinks if other people have also lost their memories, it would be best to help get them back more quickly.

Leia: Unless... Is THAT the crime? The no-contact order is to keep the criminals from helping other people regain their memories, because they're not supposed to remember...?

She's startled by a knock on the door. Jude comes in to ask how she's feeling and offer her dinner, if she feels like eating.

Leia realizes that she is kind of hungry, and gets excited when she sees that Jude brought her favorite food, fruit yakisoba. Personally, he thinks it's kind of weird, but he knows Leia likes it. She asks if he remembered that; a little unsure what she means, Jude says he just heard it somewhere, and then explains that Estelle asked Ludger to make the food. All he did was carry it up.

Leia is a little disappointed that it was Estelle - Lady Estellise, she quickly corrects herself. When Jude seems confused, she tells him to forget it and hurries to eat the food before it gets cold.

Jude then asks if anything's wrong. The others said it's rare for her to shut herself up in her room, so they're all concerned. Leia assures him that she's fine now and apologizes for worrying them.

Jude: You don't have to apologize. We just want to be sure you're okay. We thought maybe something was wrong. Leia: ...As always, all you do is worry about people. I guess that will never change... Jude: Huh? What does that... Leia: Just that you're too nice. Estelle, Suzu, Magilou, Ludger, they're all kind too, but... Ever since we were little, you've been worrying about me. You worry about everyone. Jude: Since we were little...? What in the world are you... Leia: So you really don't remember anything about us being friends as kids? Jude: You said that earlier, too... I really don't know what you're talking about... Leia: ...I see. I guess that's not going to work...

Jude is hesitant to bring it up, but he reluctantly points out that the way Leia has been talking could be considered criminal. She's been acting differently, and keeps saying weird things, which wouldn't normally bother him, but is distressing under the circumstances. Leia laughs nervously and apologizes, and then asks if he'll listen to just a little more of the "weird things" she keeps saying.

Leia: Do you know of a country called Auj Oule? With a king named Gaius? Jude: A country... with a king...? Leia: It's an interesting place. They sell Gaius dumplings there, and we used to eat them together. One time Meredy ate hers too fast and it got stuck in her throat, and you saved her. Jude: Wait, Leia... What are you... Leia: Oh, yeah, you were studying to become a doctor. That's why you knew what to do for Meredy. Jude: Leia, stop... Leia: See, ever since we were little we played together, and my mom- Jude: Stop! Leia: Jude...

Jude laments the fact that Leia really does fit the criminal profile. He was hoping it was a misunderstanding and he was wrong.

Leia has one last question: does he really not remember Milla? Jude thinks, but he doesn't recognize anything she's said.

Leia: ...Really? I guess words just aren't enough... But I suppose that's okay. In Entelestia, regaining your memories is a crime... Jude: Cut it out already, Leia... I don't know what I'm supposed to do if you get labeled a criminal, too. I don't think I could bear locking you up and sending for the White Lions again... Even if you're a criminal, I still want to protect you. Leia: Jude... It makes me really happy to hear that. But I'm not the one you're supposed to be with... Jude: Leia...? Leia: Ah, never mind, it's nothing. Sorry, can I be alone for a while? Jude: ...Okay. I think I need to clear my head, too... I'll come back later.

After he leaves, Leia mutters that she can't stand to see the way Jude has forgotten everything, even Milla. She doesn't think she can make him remember just by telling him, but she isn't sure what else to try. Then she remembers the empress was the one who decreed that people like her are dangerous, so maybe she knows something about it.

Leia: Ha, maybe I'm just as much of a do-gooder as Jude... But I just can't help myself when he's involved. I have to help him!

* i haven't actually read most of the third scenario, so if i've misinterpreted this, please let me know

Scene 2

Outside the inn, Jude is upset about how this keeps happening. He hasn't helped the village man, or reported Leia, and doesn't think he can. Leia told him to stop worrying and put his all into whatever he's able to do, but at the moment he's not sure there's anything he can do.

When Ludger comes outside looking for him, Jude thanks him for the food and lets him know how happy Leia was. Ludger is glad, but notes that Jude isn't looking very happy himself. If something happened, he's interested in hearing about it, if Jude wants to tell him.

Ludger: Is it about the criminal yesterday? Jude: ...It's about criminals, yes, but... Hey, Ludger. Why didn't you tell anyone that I took the key down to the prisoner yesterday? I could have released him. Ludger: Why...? Well... In the end, you didn't. I don't think there was any reason for me to report you. Anyone would be worried in that kind of situation, but worrying isn't a crime. Jude: So if I had set him free, you would have captured and reported me...? Ludger: ...Yes. But it wouldn't have been an easy decision to make for me, either. Jude: Ludger... I guess I can tell you. The truth is...

He explains what happened with Leia. Ludger is shocked to hear that Leia has done something illegal, and asks what Jude is going to do this time. Jude repeats the emergency response law. He knows it's the natural course of action, but he still hesitates.

To Jude's surprise, Ludger says he's right: clearly they should report Leia right away. Capturing people who are dangerous is the best thing to do for their country, and its people, and Lazarus. Jude doesn't disagree, but he insists Leia is a good person. She's kind and cheerful and the village needs her. He can't let things end between them by going behind her back and reporting her, and he doesn't want to, either. He thinks they need to talk to her first.

Ludger: ...Jude, do you still not get it? Jude: Get it...? Ludger: You just said, you don't want things to end like this. When I told you to report Leia, you clearly argued against it. You already know what you want to do. Maybe you don't want to feel like you're turning your back on Lady Lazarus... but you can't use Lazarus as an excuse to avert your eyes from what’s happening, even if you don’t like it. Jude: I... I just... Ludger: Like I said, if you don't sort out your feelings yourself, you'll end up with regrets. That answer didn't come from me, or from Lazarus, only from you. ...Jude, wait a while before you report her. Figure out what you really want so you don't do anything you'll regret. Or you can keep quiet and let whatever happens happen. I won't say anything. You don't have to do anything that feels wrong. Though it certainly is a tricky situation... Jude: A tricky situation... Yeah... But if I spend all my time worrying, I won't be able to solve anything. I want to protect her... Thanks, Ludger. I'm going to go talk to Leia.

Ludger watches as Jude leaves. As soon as he's gone, Magilou appears, commenting that things sure have gotten interesting.

Ludger: Wh, Magilou...!? How long have you... Were you listening in this whole time? Magilou: I haven't the faintest what you mean. Can't a witch just happen to walk down the street at an opportune time? Ludger: ...Magilou. You won't report her, will you? Magilou: Ha, do I look like the stuffy, serious type? I've already forgotten all about it. Don't worry, I won't do anything. No harm, no help. I've got my own stuff to deal with. I'm just a spectator to this show! The tale of a young man empathetic to criminals, whose purity leads to tragedy!

Ludger: ...

Magilou: Don't give me that look... I'm telling the truth here. I'm just here to see how things play out.

Ludger agrees; it's Jude and Leia's problem, and he doesn't want to interfere. Magilou points out that he's the one who got Jude moving. Protecting a criminal is the same as opposing Lazarus, so if it doesn't pan out, he might be in trouble too. But Ludger insists he didn't incite Jude to anything. He just wanted to help him sort out his feelings so they can end up with as few regrets as possible.

Magilou: Phew, you're all so fired up, I think I need some water. But you know, I've been there before, and life sure is easier when you don’t care. Ludger: ...If we could do that, I don't think anyone would worry.

Scene 3

When Jude returns to Leia’s room, his knock gets no reply, and he enters to find the room empty. At first he thinks Leia must have stepped out for a while; then he finds a letter, reads it, and rushes back downstairs to gather the others.

Once they've assembled in Leia's room, Suzu reads the letter aloud:

"I'm sorry for leaving so suddenly. I decided not to say anything because I was afraid I'd chicken out if I spoke to you all. I'm leaving Estelle in charge. Estelle, I'm sorry for pushing this on you with no warning. But if you're the Estelle I know, the real Estelle, you're much better suited to lead everyone than I am. Thanks for everything, all of you. I've really enjoyed my time with the Rolando Family, and I won't forget any of you. Goodbye."

Estelle in particular is surprised; she's sure Leia has her reasons, but this seems out of character for her. Suzu is disappointed that it doesn't explain why Leia left, but she suggests they start looking for her right away, as she can't have gotten very far yet.

Estelle: Right. Whatever the circumstances are, I can't bear having her just disappear like this! Jude: Let's put together a search! Suzu and Estelle can check the places inside the village where she might have gone. Ludger and I will look around outside the village. Magilou probably doesn't want to help search, so she can stay here and keep watch in case Leia comes back. Magilou: Oh, you know me so well.

Everyone agrees to Jude's plan, and they head out.

Meanwhile, Leia travels down the road in the dark. She wonders if they've found the letter yet, then chides herself for dwelling on what's behind her now. It's for the best; having a criminal in the Family will just cause trouble for everyone, and if she's going to find a way to restore Jude's memories, it'll be easier to go alone. She plans to start by gathering information in Shongreiss.

Suddenly she's approached by a pair of White Lions who are concerned about her travelling alone at night. Leia reassures them that she's fine, and then the second soldier recognizes her as the leader of the Rolando Family.

Soldier 2: What good timing. We're on our way to pick up the criminal you informed us about. Can you take us there? Leia: Oh, uh... Crap... I already acquitted that guy... Soldier 1: Is something wrong? What are you mumbling about? Leia: ...There's no need... I'm the criminal. Please take me to Shongreiss. Soldier 2: You? That's ridiculous. What, you were turned in by your own organization? Leia: It doesn't matter that I'm part of the Family. The Empress ordered all lawbreakers to be apprehended. Soldier 2: Well, yes, but... Leia: Would you like me to prove it, then? I'm originally from a village called Rinnell, in Auj Oule. Auj Oule is at war with Windor, and... Soldier 1: Rinnell...? Where the heck is that? And what's this... Auj Oule? Soldier 2: Stop, don't listen to her! Leia: Our country is governed by King Gaius. We don't worship or even know of any empress. Soldier 1: H-How dare you disparage Lady Lazarus like that...!? Soldier 2: Calm down, don't let her lead you astray! And you, shut your mouth! From now on you don’t speak without permission. Leia: ... Soldier 2: How ironic, that the leader of the Rolando Family would turn out to be a criminal... Well, we've secured our target. Let's escort her away. Leia: At least now the villagers should be fine. Getting back might be difficult, but... No, there's no need to come back. If I can get to Shongreiss, maybe I can find out something about the criminals. Wait for me, Jude... I'm going to get your memories back...!

[jhalya]

Like I am literally game for anything. That scene in your head that is making you :3 :3 :3, just give it to me! :D

The aftermath - Obi and Shirayuki get separated at the hotel

Obi gets hurt, Zen’s been poisoned and Mitsuhide is injail. Kiki puts on her Basic Instinctdress to bail ‘that idiot out’, Izanatakes one good look at his brother and pronounces him fit to return to work,and Shirayuki has a shitload of paperwork to go through and no Obi. She’dactually marched up to Izana - bloody dress and missing one shoe - to ask wherethey’d whisked Obi away, but he’d just told her - in passing - that he’s somewhere safe.

Safe!

He could be on the moon for all she knows.

‘Have you even gone home? You know, like, get somerest?’ Yuzuri asks from her perch on Shirayuki’s desk.

‘No.’ She’d showered and put on her spare suit and gotto work because she needed something to do with her hands and apparentlystrangling Izana with his Salvatore Ferragamo blue pattern tie was not anoption.

Men kill with guns andknives, Miss.Women poison their victims. General rule.

‘So your plan is to assassinate Izana by burying himunder a mountain of paperwork, is that it?’

Shirayuki grins: ‘These need to be signed off. Intriplicate.’

Yuzuri scrunches her nose at her and crosses her legs.‘You know, you sound just like Obi sometimes. Where is he by the way? I worethis sexy skirt just for him.’

‘You wore that for Suzu.’

‘Suzu doesn’t catcall.’

‘Well, neither does Obi.’

‘Noo, he goes straight for the kill.’

Shirayuki is not about to enlighten Yuzuri that Obidoesn’t really do that either. He teases and he pushes but she has to meet himhalfway. And she can’t do that if she doesn’t know where he is.

Yuzuri does a little shimmy on her desk.

‘Listen. I really think you should  go home, get some rest. Izana is a dick, buthe’s got our back. ’

Home. Not a seedy little motel on the edge of thehighway of the day, with beds Obi mocks, not the uncomfortable seats ofwhatever rental they managed to get their hands on or the tents on that onetrip none of them care to repeat.

None of that - just her own little suburban house andher plants and her picture perfect bedroom with the best posturepedic mattressan Agency salary can buy.

Jesus, Miss, no wonderyou’ve got such good posture. This thing is a dream.

 He’d probably fall asleep the second he’d hit the bed,but a girl can hope - of waking him up, of loving him like he loved her in thebathroom of stupid Touka’s stupid hotel. And then, she’d finally - finally - get him where she wants himmost. Inside. Part of her, as he should always be.

Shirayuki backtracks a little bit at that - Obiis…well, definitely into her, but she doesn’t want to be thinking of anythingmore permanent before…

They’d really should’ve talked this through.

Maybe that’s why he didn’t want to …?

Because he just thought he’d take pity on her and…what was it he said? Take the edge off? She wasn’t a - what was it Yuzuricalled it? A pity fuck? Was she?!

‘Whoaa, whooa there, Snow White! I’ve no idea whatyou’re thinking and I already know it’s bull. You’re tired, you’re not thinkingstraight. Seriously, go home.’

‘No’, Shirayuki regroups and churns out anotherparagraph on unreliable informantsand cross-departmental communication.‘I’m fine.’

‘Yeah. No. Chief?’ Yuzuri hollers. ‘Shirayuki’srefusing to go home.’

You can’t really see Garrack at her cubicle - which isexactly how she likes it, thank you very much - but you can hear her prettywell. ‘I’ll have Ryuu log her out of her workstation.’

Shirayuki’s screen promptly goes black.

‘Wait, no, I didn’t save that!!!’

Somebody flings a phone across the bullpen and Yuzuriexpertly catches it. Before Shirayuki has a chance to find a way back in thesystem, Yuzuri hops off and slides her the phone.

‘Just. Go home. This thing’s been vibrating like crazyfor the past two days.’

Shirayuki stares dumbly at her Agency issuedBlackberry - Our glorious leader isnostalgic, Miss -  and waits for itto power on to an obscene amount of texts.

…

Miss? MISSSSSSSSSSS?

Do you have a cat?

No, really.

Why is there a cat inyour kitchen?

SERIOUSLY, you shouldnot leave pets UNATTENDED.

Have I taught younothing?

 Update on the cat:false alarm. Neighbour’s cat.

Liked  her though.

The cat, not theneighbour.

You know you’re theonly woman in my heart xxxxx

 BTW, you’re welcome.

Linda the yuuka is nowfly free.

It was the compost,you see.

I’m bored, when areyou coming home?

Are you hungry? Haveyou eaten?

What could possiblytake you so long.

…

It’s beendaysssssssss, where are you?

…

Fine, I’m movingupstairs, just so you know.

No more sleeping onthe couch

like the absolutegentleman that I am.

…

How do you not have asingle set of silk sheets?

What kind of barn wereyou raised in, Miss?

Just so you know, Ihave FOUND THEM.

(not the sheets. Stillshocked about that)

you didn’t hide themvery well, though

Honestly, Miss, theold book jacket trick?

You are such a SandraBrown fan, that’s so cute.

….

MY GOD, this mattressis AMAZING.

Almost makes up forthe scratchy cotton sheets.

We’ll need to work onthat

:3 :3 :3

…

Seriously though, whathave I done to deserve such agony?

Look, I’m sorry Icouldn’t save your pretty dress

you can’t still be madat that.

…

Hope you come homesoon.

I’m bored.

…

Your spice cabinet isa disgrace.

I’m taking youshopping just as soon as I stop bleeding

(you might need newtowels as well, just fyi)

Re: towels, highthread count, Miss.

You so thrifty.

…

Desperate time, Miss.

I’m breaking out yourLe Creuset set.

And just so you know

I’m not big on washingdishes

…

Shirayuki makes it home in record time.

She barely remembers to kill the engine before she’sout of the car, house keys at the ready.

It takes her three tries before she makes the key fitand when she’s finally in, it’s like she’s never left home at all.

The house is warm and Shirayuki dares not contemplatethe heating bill for the month.

The radio is on and she can hear Obi singing alongwith Cardi B from the kitchen.

Now I like dollars, Ilike diamonds

I like stunting, Ilike shining

I like million dollardeals

Where’s my pen? BitchI’m signin’

I like thoseBalenciagas, the ones that look like socks

I like going to thejeweler, I put rocks all in my watch

 His moves are far more enthusiastic than they shouldbe for a person with a gash in his side you could fit a fist in but he seemshappy enough surrounded by all her good pots and pans, all the cupboard doorsopen like a scene from Poltergeist as he’s inspecting her subpar pantrychoices.

Food smells good though and her rumbling stomach givesher position away.

Obi turns his bright eyes to her and smiles - hiscomplexion is still a bit ashen  and hishair is sticking out all over the place, a clear sign he hasn’t been sleepingright - but his excitement is genuine.

‘Miss! Where’ve you been? Dinner is almost ready.’

Shirayuki is too tired to keep her professional wallsup - she’s just so… glad, so relieved he’s fine, she tears up a bit. The factthat he’s standing in her kitchen, in her home, the last corner of her life hehadn’t cozied himself up to, makes her happier than she’s ever been since hergrandparents’ death.

‘Obi, I’m home.’

The look he gives her makes her think that she’s beenmissing out on half of the conversation, that she’s been so close all along toeverything she’s ever wanted, really, and yet, so blind.

‘Welcome home, Miss.’

He barks out a laugh, like he can’t help himself andin two long strides, he’s picking her up and twirling her around.

‘Up you go, Miss, ow, ow, ow.’

‘Obi, put me down, put me down!’

With her shoes on, she almost reaches his chin, buthe’s here and he’s safe and sound and she can even put up with the inane jokesshe can see lurking behind his smile. Shirayuki runs her hands through his hair,trying to smooth it down and succeeding only in making a mess, because, damn,the whole texture of him feels good.

‘Hi.’

‘Hello, Miss.’

‘What are you making me?’

‘Chilli shrimp linguini.’

‘Spicy?’

‘Extra…’, Obi kisses the tip of her nose, ‘…spicy’,and then kisses her lips.

It’s wet andwonderful because Obi has no shame and she’s just as hard up for him, for them,for all of this.

‘I thought I owed youdinner.’

Obi grins and tightens the hands on her waist. ‘Oh,honey. You’re providing dessert.’

‘Now. Let’s have dessert now!’

‘Ah, ah, ah - no sex on an empty stomach.’

‘What? Why?’

‘Build up your stamina!’

‘I don’t - ’

‘Enjoy the orgasmic culinary experience!’

‘I’d rather - ’

‘Plus, didn’t I tell you? You’re doing the dishes.’

‘Obiii…’

[ayyraeraedraws]

Wilant - ANS Week Day 6 - WOOD

The door to the pharmacy slid shut behind Ryuu and Obi. Ryuu was off to inspect the hothouses and Obi to escort him then surely sneak off and explore the rest of the strange new palace. Shirayuki couldn’t help herself from smiling. They’d made it to Wilant, she thought giddily

Akane suddenly spoke from behind her, “I’ll not have anyone with dyed hair working in this pharmacy.” It took Shirayuki a moment to realize that she was talking about her.

“My hair isn’t dyed, Chief, this is my natural color.”

Akane puffed her pipe and narrowed her eyes at Shirayuki.

“Alright,” she finally said with a cloud of smoke pouring from her mouth, “But if I see your roots growing in, so help me, I’ll make shaved heads a part of the dress code.”

“It’s real, I swear,” Shirayuki said nervously.

Akane walked away grumbling, “Kids today, with

their red-hair fads. Filling their heads with nonsense, no room for anything but vanity.”

Shirayuki waited until Akane shut the door to her office then hurried to open the window. The cool mountain air was bracing and the scent of pine needles filled her lungs. The pharmacy was on the ground floor of Wilant, just a view of the forest floor, unlike the library where she could see over the tops of the trees to the mountains.

The way the thick forest looked like night in the middle of the day filled her with excitement. She was finally here and with Ryuu who was preparing to become the head pharmacist and Zen who was to soon rule the north.

She had to keep up with them.

She turned from the window to the box of work left for her and she set to it with determination.

A few hours past and Shirayuki closed yet another folder she’d read through and turned to find its place on the shelf.

“Excuse me,” she heard someone say behind her, “Is now a bad time?”

“Oh!” Shirayuki spun to greet whoever spoke, “I didn’t hear you come in-“ An older woman with long platinum blonde hair stood by the door and Shirayuki felt she looked familiar somehow...

It struck her why in an instant.

Shirayuki bowed her head in a hurry and stuttered out a, “Your majesty.”

She had never met the Queen Mother, only seen her from a distance at Izana’s coronation. But It was undeniable, this woman shared strong resemblances with both the brothers.

Her sharp blue eyes smiled at her like Izana’s, “You must be the red-haired pharmacist, Shirayuki, that I’ve been hearing so much about.”

“I am Shirayuki,” she said, “though I cannot attest to what you’ve heard.”

She laughed like Zen. “Oh darling, don’t worry! All good things. Though I’ve heard you’re the modest type, so that’s probably of little comfort to you.”

Shirayuki set the folder she held aside to sort out later. “Is there something I can help you with, your Majesty?”

“Straight to the point,” Haruto commented, “Yes, actually, I’m here for some medicine.”

“I’ll fetch Chief Akane right away, then.” Shirayuki went to Akane’s office door and knocked before opening. “Chief Akane, her Majesty the Queen Mother is here.”

Akane who had been sitting at her desk looked up. “What’s that? Who? Haruto’s here?”

“Yes.” Shirayuki heard the voice from over her shoulder. she looked to see Haruto leaning against the door frame inches behind her. “Hi, Akane.”

“How’re you feeling, Haruto?”

“Tired,” Haruto answered, “Didn’t sleep much last night. I need more of that tonic.”

“You usually have someone fetch you your Shady Root, what brings you by?”

Haruto moved into the room, her hand fell onto Shirayuki’s shoulder as she stepped around her. “I haven’t seen you since my last checkup and I heard that you’re looking to retire soon.”

“You heard right,” Akane emptied her pipe into an ashtray, “Hana and I want to see Yuris Island again, it’s been her dream to move there.”

“That’s exciting,” Haruto said, “You aren’t leaving right away, are you?”

“Oh no,” Akane snickered stuffing her pipe again, “I still need to show these two kids how things are done around here. I didn’t spend thirty years building this place up to have a couple of babes send it to ruin.” She took her pipe between her teeth and eyed Shirayuki who stood awkwardly in the doorway. “Not to worry, though-“ she lit a match and puffed on her pipe until smoke poured from her lips, “-They’re fine pharmacists, cut their teeth with my student, Garrack, in Wistal and studied in Lyrias.”

Haruto looked over to Shirayuki and drawled, “So I’ve heard.”

“While they were there, she and the boy crossbred a non-toxic, species of Olin Maris.”

Haruto raised an eyebrow, “Olin Maris? That name sounds familiar...”

“It poisoned some people a couple years back-“ Akane began.

“Oh, that’s right!” Haruto exclaimed, “Sorry, I don’t remember all the technical terms, but yes, I know all about that incident and Miss Shirayuki’s role in resolving it.” She turned to Shirayuki again, “You did well. Apologies for not thanking you for it until now. My son reported many good things to me that week. He’s tough to impress. Well done.”

“That means a lot, your Majesty, but it wasn’t just me, Ryuu made the antidote, Suzu, Yuzuri, Kiri-“

Haruto put her hand up and smiled softly. “I’m aware of the details, Miss Shirayuki, but I wish to thank you personally at this moment.”

Shirayuki flushed and bowed her head again. “I’m happy I could help.”  

“Akane,” Haruto suddenly turned to address her, “Will Shirayuki be the one taking your place as the chief pharmacist?”

Shirayuki shook her head even though Haruto wasn’t looking at her anymore. “No, the boy will be,” said Akane slowly like she was only just starting to pay attention again after the volleying of pleasantries.

“I’m Ryuu’s assistant,” Shirayuki explained, “in fact, once we’re settled here I’m supposed to leave on a trip to convince northern lords to plant Olin Maris on their land.”

“Ah yes, I believe Izana mentioned that once.”

Izana seemed to have mentioned to the Queen a lot of things about her. What else did she know? Shirayuki wondered.

“I’ll be back in a couple of months, or more, if I’m successful,” Shirayuki finished.

“And I’m sure you will be,” Haruto offered, “Your lucky red won’t fail you now.” Shirayuki blinked, Zen had said something similar when they first met. It hadn’t felt very lucky at that moment, but now, looking back at everything that had happened because of it... “Not to give all the credit of your hard work to luck, dear, but you know what I mean.”

“Of course,“ Shirayuki smiled, “Thank you.”

“I understand that this Ryuu will be the Chief Pharmacist, but Miss Shirayuki, if it’s all the same to you, I’d prefer a female as my primary physician.”

Shirayuki blinked again then stammered, “That’s understandable, your Majesty. Of course, it would be an honor.”

“Then it’s settled,” Haruto said placing her hands on her hips and turning to Akane. “Please see to it that Shirayuki is given my medical history to study. Sorry, dear,” she said aside to Shirayuki, “Unfortunately, it’s a long read, but you have until you return from your mission so there’s plenty of time.” Haruto walked back towards the door, “It was nice meeting you Miss Shirayuki,” she said as she brushed past Shirayuki. Suddenly Akane cleared her throat. “Oh! Nice catching up Akane!” Haruto said only pausing for a beat before continuing her exit, “Yuris really is lovely, I should try visiting it again myself sometime.”

“Haruto...” Akane called and punctuated it with the shake of a vial of white liquid, “Your Shady Root?” Haruto froze and laughed, “Yes! I need that! Thanks for reminding me, Akane.” Haruto returned to the office, took the vial, said her goodbyes again, then left.

“Don’t get too excited, Red,” Akane said startling Shirayuki who looked at her quizzically. Akane took a long drag of her pipe, “The woman is a hypochondriac, you’ll be giving her so many sugar pills you’ll think you spent years of your life studying just so you can run a candy store.”

“So that wasn’t-“ She felt her blood start to boil and a lecture about the ethics of giving patients placebos begin to form on her lips.

“The shady root? No, that’s real. She gets night terrors, bad ones.”

“Then, is a sleeping aid the best method? What about finding the root of her stress-”

“It’s a bit more complicated than that, Red.” Akane snapped, putting aside her pipe for the first time. “I tried what you’re talking about and I nearly killed her by doing it. She had been up for four days straight. She was in her room screaming bloody murder because of the visions her sleep-deprived mind were making her see. I just give her what she asks for now. The woman has been through enough.”

“I’m sorry,” Shirayuki said softly.

“It’s not your fault, you don’t know her patient history yet,” Akane fumbled with what sounded like some keys in a drawer in her desk. “It’s a touchy subject with me is all, don’t mind me.” She pulled out ten large, leather-bound folders with the name ‘Haruto Wisteria’ and a varying number of years scrawled across each cover.  

“She wasn’t joking when she said it be a long read,” Shirayuki laughed half-heartedly, then took the folders into her arms. “I promise to read through these, will I be able to ask you any questions I might have?”

Akane chuckled like she knew something Shirayuki didn’t, and she probably did, “Sure, anything for Haruto.”

The next morning, there was a knock at Shirayuki’s door just as she was about to leave. A valet of the Queen greeted her with a letter.

She accepted it, he bowed and took his leave. Shirayuki stepped out into the hall reading the letter in hand.

“What’s that, Miss?” Obi called as he came up the stairs. Shirayuki startled slightly, but relaxed when she saw it was Obi. Obi, Mitsuhide, Kiki and her’s rooms were all together again just like they had been in Wistal. She smiled at him, but it melted when she looked back down at her letter.

“I was invited to tea,” Shirayuki answered.

“Oh?” Obi leaned close to peer over her shoulder, “By whom?” She couldn’t find the words so she let him read for a moment, then his eyes rounded, “The Queen!?” he shouted.

“Please, don’t yell,” Shirayuki pleaded looking around for any eavesdropping maids, “I probably can’t even go. I just started at the pharmacy here, I can’t ask for an afternoon off already.”

Obi laughed, “You were invited to have tea with the Queen, who can say that?”

“It’s not so strange, we’re Zen’s friends.”

“But we weren’t invited, you were.”

Shirayuki felt her stomach knot tighten, “Y-you don’t think it’s about that do you?”

“What else would it be about?”

“Well, she did make me her physician last night.”

“Do patients and physicians usually have tea together?”

“I don’t think so, but her and Chief Akane seemed really familiar with each other.”

“Then maybe she just doesn’t like formalities and is trying to welcome you.”

Shirayuki breathed and felt the weight on her chest lighten. “Yeah.”

“Don’t worry,” Obi smiled, “the Queen probably doesn’t even know about you and the Master.”

Shirayuki felt a sting behind her eyes. “Right.”

Shirayuki came to the room named Juniper at the time specified in the letter. It was easier to get out of work than she had thought it would be.  Akane even gave her a blend of tea leaves to bring with her. Shirayuki was grateful for the tin in her hands, it hadn’t occurred to her to bring a gift as thanks for the Queen’s generous invitation.

A servant opened the door for her and announced her entry. Shirayuki stepped through to an ornate room with large windows along the back wall that looked into one of the hothouses. Sunlight poured in and the smell of flowers was strong. To her surprise the Queen wasn’t alone waiting for her, three young women also sat at the table.

“Here she is,” Haruto said from her seat, “Ladies, I’d like you to meet Miss Shirayuki.”

The three rose and curtsied to Shirayuki as she approached. Shirayuki, a bit surprised by the sudden gesture did her best to return it, stumbling ever so slightly as she did. One of the young ladies noticed this and smirked slightly.

“Miss Shirayuki, I’d like you to meet Lady Sara-” she gestured to the young woman with olive skin and dark brown hair. “Lady Yui-” the one with black hair and large, round blue eyes, “-and Lady Himari,” a young lady with golden waves for hair and soft brown eyes; the one who had smirked at her.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all,” Shirayuki said as she took a seat. A butler poured her tea and she whispered her thanks to him.

“Your majesty,” Shirayuki said lifting the tin to Haruto, “This is for you, thank you for inviting me.”

“Thank you, Dear,” Haruto accepted the tin and passed it to a maid who stood by, “I’ll have this prepared the next time we meet.”

“If I’d had the time I would have prepared and brought the medicinal tea my research partners and I made in Lyrias.”

“Research partners in Lyrias?” Himari hummed and the other two put down their cups to listen.

“Miss Shirayuki is an accomplished pharmacist,” Haruto explained.

“I’ve always wanted to study in Lyrias, myself,” Sara said leaning in, “Tell us, what was it like?”

“Beautiful,” Shirayuki answered, “the library there has become one of my favorite places. There are-“

“A career woman,” Himari interrupted, and then punctuated the silence with a long sip of her tea, “I enjoy seeing the development of a middle class in Clarines. It’s very cosmopolitan. You must have worked hard to get to where you are.”

“I’ve done my best,” Shirayuki said, “Thank you, Lady Himari.”

Himari’s face was perfectly carved stone, her gaze a challenge.

“We’re so fortunate to have a talent like hers,” Haruto said unaffected by the room as she stirred honey into her tea, “She’ll be working in Wilant’s pharmacy once she completes an important political mission.”

“Mission?” Yui’s eyes looked like they were about to bulge out of her head, “Sounds so secret and important,” she lowered her voice, “Can you tell us more?”

“I wouldn’t call it a political mission,” Shirayuki waved her hands, “I’m just asking some of the northern lords for permission to plant Olin Maris on their land.”

“Isn’t that the plant that poisoned all those people in Lyrias a few years back?” Sara asked and Himari and Yui looked scandalized.

“Yes, but,” Shirayuki explained, “that’s what my research partners and I have been working on: making Olin Maris glow without poison.”

Sara nodded thoughtfully, Yui gasped, and Himari leaned forward, resting her chin on her hand.

“If you don’t think this will be a political mission,” Himari mused, “you’re in for a rude awakening.”

“Especially with the state the North has been in recently,” Sara said, “Why else do you think his majesty is marrying so far below his station?”

“Ha-Lady Haki?” said Shirayuki.

“She’s only a viscountess,” said Yui then she giggled, “How funny would it be if the princess was of higher birth than the queen?”

They were talking about Zen’s future wife. Shirayuki felt her throat tighten and stole a glance to the Queen who absently sipped her tea.

“Be quiet, Yui,” Sara said.

“You’re just hoping it means the prince will have to marry a baroness,” Yui teased, “Isn't that right, Baroness Gilva?”

Sara turned red and huffed in response.

“Her rank won’t be remembered once she’s Queen,” Himari said sitting up straight and proper, “All anyone will remember is that she is from the north.” Himari looked at Shirayuki pointedly.

“So King Izana’s marriage is political?” Shirayuki asked, never having questioned it before.

“Well, of course, it is!” Yui interjected.

“Very smart of him to draw it out,” Sara said, “keeps the attention to the hopeful future instead of the unfortunate present.”

“Once the wedding is over, there will be nothing left to look forward to,” said Yui, “Well, except for a baby.” Yui nudged Sara as she said this and Sara returned to her previous shade of crimson.

“There is still Prince Zen’s wedding,” Himari said, “It would be smart for him to choose a bride who has favor in the north as well. Though, things have been awfully quiet on that front.”

Another pointed look at Shirayuki, but Sara and Yui must have been looking at Haruto because she answered. “Don’t look at me, I’m just his mother. His brother’s been keeping him so busy that I’m sure Zen hasn’t had time to even consider marriage.”

The ladies nodded and glanced at each other with subtle smiles.

“I don't think that’s true.” Shirayuki said before she realized it, “Prince Zen is clever, he wouldn’t reveal his intentions before everything is placed. The last thing he wants is to be forced to make a move.”

Everyone at the table stared at her.

Yui nearly snorted, “But intentions to whom? He hasn’t met for a marriage interview in years.”

“Aside from that,” Himari added staring straight at Shirayuki, “There has been nothing but strange rumors around him. What do you-”

“-Speaking of rumors,” Sara interrupted, “is it true that his highness is in Wilant now? Is it true he’ll become the steward of the north?”

Haruto chuckled. “Yes, in fact-” she said just as the doors to the room opened.

The valet spoke, “Prince Zen Wisteria.”

“-I asked him to come by,” Haruto finished.

The ladies gasped and turned to see Zen enter the room.

Haruto stood and walked to him. “Zenny,” she greeted warmly.

The pet name sent Himari, Yui, Sara into a fit of giggles that there quickly stifled and stood. Zen looked horrified, glancing between his mother, the three young ladies, and lastly to Shirayuki who still sat in her seat looking over her shoulder at him.

Shirayuki was pulled out of the stunned silence by a coughing. She turned to see Himari urgently trying to tell her something with her glare. Stand up, she realized and she popped up immediately.

Haruto seeming to only just realize what she’d said covered her mouth and whispered, “Sorry.”

Zen tore his stare away from Shirayuki and addressed Haruto through clenched teeth. “Queen Mother.” He bowed and all the ladies curtsied, Shirayuki followed suit a beat behind.

Haruto cleared her throat then put her hand down. “Prince Zen,” she corrected, “there are some ladies here I’d like you to meet.”  

Zen glanced over the Sara, Yui, and Himari to Shirayuki, his brow quirked. “Mother,” he said stiffly looking back at her, “You said you had some reports for me to pick up.”

“Yes, yes,” Haruto waved, “But first, say hello to my guests: Lady Sara Gilva, Lady Yui Aster, Lady Himari Soto, and I’m sure you met Miss Shirayuki while in Wilant.”

Each girl curtsied as her name was called, Shirayuki simply bowed her head.

Zen bowed at his waist, “Good afternoon.” He stood and looked at Shirayuki and bowed again. “Lady Shirayuki.” The ladies and Haruto all looked surprised. Haruto recovered first, grabbing the side of her head, “Ah, Lady Shirayuki! I remember now, you had a title- thing-” she waved her hand trying to remember, “-friend of Tanbarun’s crown, correct? Sorry, you must have thought me so rude.”

“Not at all,” Shirayuki waved her hands in front of herself, “It’s so new to me, even I forget I have it. You don't have to call me-”

“Lady Shirayuki,” Zen said looking at her with hurt eyes, “Excuse me for interrupting, but it’s alright to remind others of your accomplishments when they forget.” He gave a pointed glance to Haruto.

Her pardons still hung on the tip of her tongue. He turned back smiled at her softly and she drew in a breath. “Zen,” she exhaled, a bare whisper.

“She’s too humble for her own good,” Haruto laughed.

“Mother,” Zen warned despite her good-natured tone. It reminded her of when he’d try to defend her from Obi’s teasing.

“Alright, alright,” Haruto surrendered and went to one of the flower vase covered tables and picked up a small stack of folders. She brought them back to him and handed them off. Zen tucked the folders under his arm and bowed to her again, “Queen mother.” He turned to the table of ladies, “Pleasure meeting you.” He turned to leave when-

“Come now, Zen, shake their hands.”

Zen looked at Haruto for a long moment. Her brow flicked up in unshaken expectation, he tipped his head in response. Yui and Sara had to stifle their giggles. The two hurried out from behind the table to meet him. He shook both their hands smiling and sincerely greeting them. Then Himari walked to him. She extended her hand, palm down, and waited for him. She wanted him to kiss it. Yui and Sara’s shock turned into sheer jealousy within seconds. Shirayuki felt a pang, but that was silly, she told herself. It’s okay, she wanted to say, but couldn’t. All she could do was watch.

Zen stared down at the back of her hand, it’d be extremely rude for him to reject it. Himari had made a calculated action that forced him to make a move.

Zen took Himari’s fingers in his and lifted her knuckles to brush against his lips. “Lady Himari,” he said with the same warm sincerity he gave the other two. Himari drew her hand back and smiled, pleased with herself.

Zen turned to Shirayuki and all eyes fell on her.

Shirayuki couldn’t move, her eyes fell to the floor. Zen came and stood before her, all she could see were his shoes. She lifted her hand slowly to shake, but instead of grasping it, he cupped the back of her hand with his own. She looked up at him, not sure what he was doing. He sat his folders aside on the table beside her and took her hand in both of his. His thumbs traced her palm and she watched his hooded eyes as he lifted her palm to his lips. He placed a kiss on the center of her hand.

A jolt shot up Shirayuki’s back. Zen, slowly, pulled away and closed her fingers over the place he left his heart. He held her hand closed, the two of them staring into each other’s eyes. Zen, his smile warm, sincere, and… different. It was a subtle difference, but undeniably just for her.

“My lady,” he said, “Never be afraid to correct any of them if they step over a line.”

Shirayuki nodded, “Well, I usually try to give someone at least one meeting before I start slapping sense into them.”

Zen chuckled, “We both know that’s not true.”

She laughed, “It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“Good,” Zen said giving her hand a squeeze. Shirayuki felt the tension she felt ever since she entered this room fade away.

Then she remembered where they were.

Her eyes darted over Zen’s shoulder to see Haruto watching with an amused smile- just like Izana, she thought.

Zen turned to face her, his hands still holding Shirayuki’s. “Thank you for introducing me to your lovely guests, but I have work to return to.”

“Are you certain you wouldn’t rather stay and join us?” Haruto mused walking back to her chair.

Zen brushed his thumb over Shirayuki’s knuckles one last time then let go to pick up his folders. “No, I’ll leave you all to your political planning and peace talks. I have soldiers not passing their physicals to deal with.”

Zen left the room, the door clicking shut behind him. She could almost swear she heard him yell Mitsuhide’s name. That made her smile. Shirayuki turned to Haruto who was watching the door with her amused smile.

Shirayuki asked confidently, “What did Izana tell you?”

The young ladies, eyes already rounded, giggled furiously. Shirayuki realized it was because she’d forgotten to use an honorific for the king. Haruto arched an eyebrow and considered Shirayuki from the corner of her eye, then shrugged and walked back to her seat.

“Izana? About you and Zen?” She sat and picked her tea up, “Not a word. Zen told me everything I know, just now.” She took a sip. “Everything else was just mother’s intuition.”

“I’m sure the rumors flying around had no influence over you,” Shirayuki said, colder than she intended, but Haruto had forced Zen’s hand. “They aren’t true, by the way. Zen-”

“Would never take a concubine,” Haruto finished, “He’s too sensitive, and you're too smart. Honestly, I was beginning to worry he’d never take a wife.”

Haruto laughed and looked to the young ladies who giggled like this was something they’d discussed before. The three took their seats again too, looking at Shirayuki with a new respect rather than the jealousy and anger Shirayuki had briefly feared.

“Yes, but Zen and I aren’t, he hasn’t,” she stammered a bit taken aback by the word wife.

“Zen’s serious, don’t you know?” Haruto asked.

“I do, he is and so am I, but-“

Himari spoke up, “I hope this political mission goes well for you.” She meant it too. All the things she’d said at the table earlier…

“As do I,” said Haruto with another sip of her tea and a quick smiling glance at Shirayuki. She put her empty cup down and stood. “Lady Shirayuki, these three young ladies are some of the most intelligent and shrewd I’ve met, I suggest you meet and have tea with them as often as you can before you leave on your mission. Learn everything you can from them.” Haruto eyed the three young ladies, “I’m trusting her to you.”

The three smiled and bowed their heads in response. Haruto squeezed Shirayuki’s shoulder and flashed her a final smile before leaving. Shirayuki suddenly felt like the world was spinning and returned to her chair to regain her sense of balance. She looked across to her three new allies. None smiled as brightly as Himari who leaned forward and said, “Let’s begin, shall we?”

[k-itsmaywriting]

jazz hands but they’re a bit embarrassed (Music Majors!AU)

On Monday night, Obi paces outside Practise Room 408.

It’s…stupid, so stupid. It’s not the first time he’s asked someone out, yet why is he having so much trouble?

It must be because it’s different, he thinks. He’s asked people out on dates, to get coffee, see a movie, go for dinner, whatever. But he’s never asked someone if they would like to specifically come see him play jazz piano at the bar Suzu works at on a Friday night – no one knows about those gigs.

Well, except for Suzu and Kiki, because Suzu recommended him to the owner and Kiki plays bass in the same band…Not that he’s ashamed of it or anything. He just doesn’t exactly know how to say I play jazz every Friday at a bar my friend works at to everyone he meets.

But still.

He has his chat with Shirayuki open on his phone already. Their history is all there – the many all-nighters of relaying mp3 files of their compositions, Shirayuki’s ramblings about biology and his about romantic period music, and the occasional meme about the struggles of composing. Talking to her is always fun. They only see each other once a week since comp is Shirayuki’s non-science elective, and he probably looks forward to those Monday mornings more than he should.

Obi slaps his own cheek, stuffs his hand in his hoodie pocket, and starts walking through the hall, typing in the chat.

“Hey Shirayuki…”

Hold on, he’s never opened with that before. He backspaces.

“Heyyyy my guy…”

Nope. Too casual.

He tosses possibilities out of his mind as he walks down the stairs, crafting the text, a harmony of hey I really like being friends with you let’s hang out and but I kind of sort of want to be something else maybe but I’m trying to be low-key about it. The thoughts drum around his mind, spinning around and around. It almost makes him dizzy with how long he holds his breath while striding through the building.

So much that he doesn’t notice the soft guitar strumming or the soft voice that fills the hall on the corner of the first floor.

As he turns the corner to leave through the back exit, he really doesn’t know how he misses it. He suddenly freezes, and she’s there, sitting outside Practise Room 119 right by the doors. Shirayuki, singing.

He…he’s never heard her sing before. He’s pretty sure she tells him she can’t. But the song is definitely from her, soft but a little fleeting like fresh air in spring.

Shirayuki tilts her head and her hair falls away from her face, gliding through sweet melodies. Obi sees her eyes are closed, and she sings like she’s just listening, breathing. She’s beautiful when she’s in her own world, without a care, except…

He...kind of needs to get out that way…

The music suddenly stops, and he hears her voice hiccup.

Ah, shit.

Shirayuki’s shoulders are tense when he looks at her this time. She’s frozen, eyes almost bulging out of her head as her face and neck flush a humiliating red.

Obi clears his throat, cocks his hip to the side. He looks chill, right? “Woah, hey, Shira—“

He’s never seen anyone pack a guitar into its case and run out a building so fast in his life.

The door swings a few times in the wake of her rush, the only noise in the new silence.

All he can do now is look at the text, still unsent.

He has no idea what he’s supposed to do now.

On Wednesday morning, Yuzuri asks Shirayuki if she wants to go to a bar on Friday.

“I was telling Suzu I was looking for somewhere quieter and he said the place he works is a jazz bar off the main street, so…” she shrugs, “guess he’d be right? He says he can get us free drinks if we want. Wanna come with me this Friday?”

Shirayuki hums from underneath her blanket burrito, distracted.

“…You still thinking about Obi from Monday?”

She peeks her eyes above her blanket. “Yes...”

Yuzuri sighs. “It’s really not that big of a deal. He probably knows it’s because you were embarrassed.”

“But Obi of all people! One of the best musicians in the entire class! And the cute boy from comp who I’ve told a million times I can’t sing but I didn’t tell him I do it anyway!”

“Wow, really dug yourself a hole there, didn’t you?”

Shirayuki turns in her bed, dragging more of her blanket over her shoulder and groaning.

“Anyway,” Yuzuri says, “Do you want to come on Friday? You can put on that new dress you bought and just…drink cocktails and listen to jazz for a couple of hours. It’ll be a nicer than thinking about how you totally blew your chance with a cute boy from uni where, quite frankly, everyone does embarrassing shit, so.”

Shirayuki slowly peels her blanket away and sits up. She lets her hands fall into her lap, and she takes a deep breath. “Okay. I’ll come.”

On Friday night, Obi can bet real money that Kiki is internally laughing her ass off.

“We’ve got a double kill tonight. Suzu tells Yuzuri he works here, and she comes with Shirayuki.” Kiki steps into the tiny hallway to the dressing room. “I don’t know whether this would be a curse or a blessing for you.”

“It’s a curse,” he groans. “It’s gonna be awkward.”

Kiki is holding back a snicker. “But have you seen her yet?”

Obi presses his forehead against the wall and knocks a fist against it. Twice. “Black lace cocktail dress…”

“Don’t feel bad, you don’t look too shabby yourself.” Kiki steps towards him and pinches some of the black button up near his wrist. “You match. How cute.”

“That wasn’t really the issue.”

She smiles. “I know, but you wouldn’t be the only one that would fancy seeing each other here.”

Shirayuki can feel herself smiling.

While Yuzuri and Suzu chat away, Shirayuki sits with them at the bar turned the other way, drinking in the blue lights underneath elevated floors and across the edges of ceilings with her glass just against her pink lips. She takes another sip.

It’s a nice place. She thinks she prefers this over clubs with synths blaring in her ears and too many bodies against hers at once, even if this is a little pricier. More people are just starting to fill the lounge chairs around the room, and she can hear the continuous ring of a cymbal in the corner.

Suzu taps her shoulder, and she turns around. “The band’s gonna start playing soon. I think you’ll recognise another person tonight too.”

Shirayuki tilts her head at Yuzuri, but she doesn’t seem to know either. She looks back to Suzu. “What do you mean ‘another’?”

“Wait, shit, you’re not here for—“

Strolling piano chords cut him off, and they all turn towards the little stage across the bar. Shirayuki can only see the saxophonist under the front light, swaying under its halo. She doesn’t know them, so she looks to the left where there’s a glint of light off a grand piano.

The pianist’s back is turned, but Shirayuki can catch fingers lightly hopping between full chords, pressing a little deeper on the beats, stretching and drooping time with the muffled saxophone. But his arms and shoulders wrapped tightly in black follow his hands, like he’s playing a Chopin nocturne—

Hold on…

The pianist and saxophonist turn to each other, both minds and music in perfect sync. They dance over steady splash cymbal, and that’s when Shirayuki catches gold eyes on the night sky stage like a star.

She spins around to Suzu over the bar, whispering, “Obi?!”

Suzu’s lips are stretched thinly as he leans back away from the counter. He barely nods. “Yup. And might as well do the spoiler – Kiki’s on bass.”

“Since when?!”

“Since probably like…the beginning of this year? They were looking for a pianist and a bassist so I was like, hey I know some really cool people who just started uni here and are looking for some work, and here we are.”

Shirayuki turns back around and leans back into the edge of the bar. She…she just didn’t know he played jazz. She’s seen him strike lightning in the keys and other times lean forward while his fingers rippled over them like water in a lake. But now that she listens to his them dance in rainy New York City alleyways, she feels that the way he pulls, raises and falls is the same. And it’s beautiful.

Well, to be fair she never told him she sings even though she doesn’t think she’s any good…

She lets herself curl up in the comforting jazz that’s warm against her skin. She finds herself smiling again, bigger this time.

Soon, the song ends, and Kiki leans over towards the saxophonist’s microphone. She greets the guests nonchalantly, since half of them probably aren’t listening, and clears her throat. “Obi has a special performance of his own tonight.”

That doesn’t seem to be true, because Obi’s body suddenly tenses.

“Gershwin’s three piano preludes, please welcome him.”

There are a few cheers, and Shirayuki knows Obi isn’t backing out with the way he sits back upright, letting his head roll back for a moment. Even she can internally hear his groaning.

He plays by himself for ten minutes, but it feels like two with how tightly captive Shirayuki is in his music. The band takes a break after another few songs together. The instant the drummer and saxophonist are off the stage, Obi sneaks off his stool towards Kiki.

Yuzuri taps Shirayuki’s shoulder. “Suzu said Obi’s been preparing the Gershwin for quite a while now,” she says. “This was the first time he’s played it at the bar.”

“Really? It was so good! I never knew he did jazz. Did you?”

She shakes her head.

Shirayuki looks towards the piano again, but as she turns Obi freezes halfway across the bar. He smiles sheepishly at her. She can’t help but smile back, and hops off the seat to walk towards him. “Hey, Obi. I’m…” she suddenly doesn’t feel as confident anymore. “Sorry I ran away on Monday. I was just…embarrassed because I know I always tell you I can’t sing yet I was right there...”

He blinks. “Oh, uh, no, that’s…that’s fine. I understand. I was just confused and thought for a second like…you weren’t going to talk to me anymore or something…?”

She nods slowly.

“But uh,” he stuffs his hands into his trouser pockets, “I think you sounded really nice.”

Shirayuki lets out a laugh. “Thank you, you play really, really nice jazz. Suzu told me you’ve been working on it for ages.”

He coughs. “Yeah, it was uh…I’m kind of trying to impress someone.”

Shirayuki really hopes the dread isn’t showing on her face.

“Who…” She starts looking around, hoping he doesn’t notice the heaviness in her chest. “Who is it? Are they here?”

Obi grips his shoulder. “Yeah, you.”

She stops. She blinks up at him a few times because did…did she hear that right?

“I…I really like you, Shirayuki. I know we don’t talk all the time and we do different degrees but I really love class with you and talking to you. And…I was gonna invite you on Monday, but then, you know…” he grimaces. “I told Kiki about it, but she saw you here with Yuzuri and put me on the spot.” Even under all his embarrassment, all his awkwardness and nerves, he laughs. “I’ll have to thank her properly later. I don’t think ‘Kiki what the fuck was that for’ cuts it.”

She can’t find her words. She just gapes at him, but before she knows it she says something. It barely comes out of her chest, but she manages. “I really like you too, Obi.”

His grin lights up the entire room, and Shirayuki swears she’s never seen a brighter sun or star than this.

Kiki suddenly walks up behind Obi and smacks a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, we’re going back up now.” She peeks from the side and smiles at Shirayuki. “Love your dress, looks good on you. Right, Obi?”

Obi turns to face Kiki, serious, and he says, “Thank you, Kiki, for being my friend and listening to me talk about my hopeless crush on Shirayuki.”

Kiki furrows her eyebrows, then glances at Shirayuki. “You know she’s right there, right?”

“Yeah.”

She laughs. “Cool. But I do apologise, Shirayuki, I need to drag this pianist back onto stage.”

Shirayuki nods and watches as the two cross the bar. She’s about to turn to go back to Yuzuri and Suzu, but gasps. “O-Obi!!”

It’s louder than she thought – the entire band looks in her direction. But there’s no turning back now. She clenches her fists, summoning the loudest voice she can. “Do you want to go out for dinner sometime this week?!”

The bar fills with cheers and whoops while Obi beams at her again. “It’s a date!”

Shirayuki’s breath falls from her chest as her hands fall to her knees, and she’s laughing to herself.

She tells Yuzuri all about it, even though she just watched the whole thing.

[theangry-ace]

currently playing: Ken ga Kimi

update 5

time for our resident haraguro(?) boi, Sakyo. tbh I’m not looking forward for his route at all bc I am absolutely fucking scared of anything close to yan. my kokoro is not strong enough for them. but I do like Sakyo in the drama cds, especially the momoyo tsuzuri one. he’s like the most gentle boi with a tendency to tease Kayo or anyone else, whether or not that’s what he intended to do or not.

WARNING: THIS BOI BROKE ME PLS HELP

so our boi Sakyo has two kind of face; one, the ‘normal’, a bit formal and proper personality he showed to others. the other is the 100% enraged, I-will-kill-you-slowly-bc-I-wanna-enjoy-killing-you type of thing. he has a bit of an anger issue as well that he does exactly nothing to hide if ppl mentioned them. his purpose in life is only to exact the revenge of some oni who attacked and murdered his entire family. Sakyo mentioned in the common route that he didn’t trust (or don’t like) Enishi and Suzukake. I suppose he didn’t like ppl who didn’t seem to be dependable.

after the whole merry joyride to Sunpu, Sakyo went to some cave which was rumored to gather a heck load of oni trying to do... something? IDK. but they had already cleared the cave and was on the way to Edo. back in Edo, Kayo’s dad put up a banquet for the six samurai who had been protecting his precious baby girl but Sakyo didn’t manage to be present. he was instead busy in his pursuit for Zantetsu, one of the oni who killed entire family. but unfortunately, Sakyo walked right into a trap and was surrounded by oni and he got away with a terrible wound on his arm (I don’t remember which but he did say it’s no biggie bc he use his sword in another). it was night when Kayo saw Yanohiko, a neighboring kid, was wandering around saying he was getting some water for a wounded samurai. after Kayo realized it was Sakyo, she took him to her room and somehow managed to hide a whole person for a long time in her own fucking room without her dad even noticed!!! what the heck dad like i respect that u respect ur baby girl’s privacy but a wHOLE GROWN ASS PERSON!!! IN UR FUCKING HOUSE!!! FOR MANY DAYS!!!!

and so while living incognito in a girl’s room, Yanohiko came by as well to play with Sakyo. dude is actually not 24/7 angry or thinking about revenge. he is quite gentle with Yanohiko and taught the boy to write and play goma (spinning top?). there is one goddamn funny scene when Kayo’s dad suddenly wanna talk with her and there’s nowhere to hide Sakyo so she shoved him into her futon and get in with him with his goddamn face between her legs lol. STILL THE DAD DIDN’T FUCKING NOTICE???? welp. eventually Sakyo heard about Zantetsu going to enter the tourney that was going to take place and he took off without telling Kayo, leaving her having to lie to Yanohiko whenever the boy asked for him. she managed to find him later when he was trying to get his family’s treasured sword, Hotarumaru, to be fixed/sharpened by a famous fixer(?). he was refused, though, for obvious reason that Sakyo just wanted to kill with his sword.

Kayo shared this with Suzukake who had been supplying her with the medicine for Sakyo and my son said he, too, gonna join the tourney. so she and Suzukake went to the tourney together to see Sakyo. they heard about Zantetsu (lol Suzu called him ojisan) being a merciless opponent and got worried when later Sakyo was to fight him. Sakyo showed some... I think some kind of arrest warrant or written right for him to ask for a duel to the death, for killing his father, mother and elder sister?? or something?? but since Sakyo having his arm still injured and his sword not fixed, he lost the match terribly. Suzukake and Kayo wanna see him at the back room where he was taken but got refused bc Sakyo was ‘desecrating the holy tourney ground with his selfish need to exact his revenge’ or something. Sakyo was to be dumped into jail but Enishi came by and after some ‘talking’ (remember; he is actually some big shot in the Edo castle), he promised that he will make sure Sakyo will be taken care of and would not be in jail.

Kimi -nice end-

all thanks to strings pulled by Enishi, Sakyo is free from being jailed. he met Kayo to tell her everything about his tragic past. when he was a kid (8yo I think), he had a terrible fever and was bedridden. this coincidentally made him hidden from a murdering oni who came for the entire Sagihara family, who he explained was the descendant of those who forged the Five Heavenly Swords. I could not get why the Sagiharas were killed, but Sakyo survived thanks to his nurse maid and incidentally inherited his family’s heirloom, the Hotarumaru. from the age of 12, he strive to become a samurai and would eventually hunt every oni he could find, but because Sakyo was defeated by Zantetsu in the tourney, Sakyo didn’t feel like he is worthy of such pride of his family’s name. he left it in a cave and determined to carry on life no longer as a samurai. Kayo, after hearing all these, understands the whole dilemma the dude is in, but she told him it’s not reason enough to leave behind what was precious to the memory of his family. convinced by her words, Sakyo and Kayo made their way to the cave where he left Hotarumaru and retrieve it. when he unsheathe it then, glowing orbs of light filled the dark cave like a real firefly. Sakyo was so ashamed that he almost abandoned the sword there and from then vowed to always carry it with him as if he was carrying his family on his shoulders. Kayo later convinced the sword fixer/sharpener(?) person to fix Hotarumaru.

after getting his sword back, he told Kayo he couldn’t let Zantetsu’s sin towards his family to go free so he left her one night with a letter he told her to open if he never returned. while he went for his supposed one-on-one duel, Kayo just can’t sit still waiting for Sakyo to come back. she went to follow him but met Kei on the way of his patrol. buddy told her to stay home while he grab some of his pals to help Sakyo. those pals turned out to be the rest of them samurai who went to Sunpu the other day! thankfully for that, Sakyo was saved by an ambush planned by Zantetsu. Tsuzumi was there as well as he was threatened with Nanae’s life he didn’t cooperate. in the end, Zantetsu is finally dead and Sakyo could then rest easy the revenge he was living for has ended.

in the after story, Sakyo married Kayo with the five samurai buddies became her real bridal escort procession to Sakyo’s home country of Yamashiro.

Kimi -another nice end-

not that different than the previous ending, but Kayo was there with her naginata to help with Sakyo instead of staying home. fortunately, she arrived when Zantetsu got done dead. later there was news regarding Sakyo wanting to return back to his home country and probably will not coming back, and everyone knew about Kayo’s relationship with Sakyo. they all asked if she’s going with him, or why she’s unbothered about him going away, but baby girl really didn’t know how to react. sure, they’re lovers, but Sakyo never told her what he planned to do in the future, or whether or not that involved her at all.

Kayo held another feast for her samurai friends and also doubles as a farewell to Sakyo but the dude came late and has no idea why ppl giving him a farewell party. Kayo noticed him looking angry and restless seeing how close the other samurai dudes with her. Sakyo later couldn’t sit still anymore and pulled her to talk alone. there he told her he has no plan on going home aside from a short trip to visit his family’s grave, and that he planned to open up a free shrine school (kinda like a private but small informal school) for kids like Yanohiko who got orphaned and not privileged enough for a basic education. Sakyo and Kayo promised to marry each other soon.

Ken -too terrible what the heck end-

Kayo still tried to convince Sakyo from acting on his revenge against Zantetsu. Sakyo got annoyed and angry bc of this, that he assaulted Kayo to show how much of a terrible guy he is in actuality. he part ways with her and supposedly never to see her again, but he found himself led by a mysterious force to a cave where the whole shits of Asakura trying to reincarnate Tadanaga. there was nothing there but an ominous looking sword called the Muramasa. Sakyo took it after hearing a woman’s ghostly voice lamenting about her unborn child. he immediately thought the ghost to be his dead sister who had returned to the Sagihara family due to her getting pregnant and wanted to stay close to her parents during the whole pre-natal care.

however unknown to Sakyo, it was a malevolent evil spirit which was leading him to find Zantetsu to murder him. he got drunk with the pleasure to kill and didn’t stop at just one person. he managed to kill 10 ppl in one night at Yoshiwara alone, and he wasn’t stopping anytime soon. Kayo actually met with Sakyo before going on his murdering rampage and he told her he had thrown away his Hotarumaru in a lake bc the evil spirits in Muramasa told him to. there was no doubt that the madman who was killing people in the night was Sakyo, the man that she loved. she asked the help of her samurai friends to stop Sakyo but things got much worst when Yanohiko became his victim. the boy just wanted to show Sakyo his spinning top.

eventually they figured out about the evil sword and thought they’d better try to separate Sakyo from it or kill him entirely. they went to the lake where Kayo heard Sakyo said he dumped Hotarumaru, thinking if there’s any humanity left in him, he might want to reunited with his family’s heirloom. unfortunately, in his clouded mind, Sakyo heavily injured Kayo and she succumbed to the wound despite whatever Suzukake tried to do. Sakyo decided to kill himself in a cave with some kind of explosive.

they met in the afterlife and thought to cross the Sanzu river together to... Heaven? but the evil sword reminded Sakyo how much of a sin he had committed, and that he belongs to Hell. Kayo decided to fall to the endless abyss with Sakyo for eternity. this is a terrible ending I hate it.

Ken -just as terrible end-

Kayo managed to stop Sakyo from killing Yanohiko but the dude fled after realizing what he was trying to do. Kayo figured out that he needed to be reunited with Hotarumaru so she went to the lake where he dumped it. Sakyo was there, but he has already made up his mind that nothing he could do would ever atone his sins so he jumped into the lake. Kayo follow suit and they woke up in the afterlife. they tried to cross the Sanzu river but Sakyo stopped halfway saying there’s a lot of angry ppl on the other side, not gonna let him into Heaven. they were the innocent lives he had murdered before. Kayo, on the other hand, didn’t see the angry souls but instead heard some familiar voices calling for her. Sakyo guessed it must have been her loved ones in the living world. he told her to follow the voice and lived a happy life for his behalf. Kayo woke up again surrounded by her panicky dad and her friends. they told her she was floating by the lake, but Sakyo’s body was nowhere to be seen.

the epilogue has Kayo wanting to pay respect to Sakyo’s victim’s graves.

HOOOO BOY I SURE AS FUCK DIDN’T ENJOY THESE KEN ROUTES ONE BIT WHO THE FUCK WROTE THEM I WANT TO SUE FOR THE EMOTIONAL DAMAGES THEY DIDDDD!!! I’M BROKEN, YOU KNOW!!! THEY SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST HAVE ONE OF THEM WITH SAKYO IS ALIVE BUT HAD TO FACE HIS SINS I KNOW THAT’S NOT A BETTER END BUT AT LEAST BOI IS ALIVE AND KAYO DIDN’T HAVE TO BE SAD WHAT THE HECK THESE ARE TERRIBLE ENDINGS I HATE THEMMMMMMMMMMMM

*inhale, exhale*

well at least I like that in Sakyo’s four routes, the roles of the other samurai dudes are quite prominent. it’s nice to see the whole stupid scene with Tsuzu and Suzu arguing about the other stealing the food, Enishi teasing Saneaki that he can’t drink, also Kei the tsukkomi lol that was a nice scene.

FINALLY!!! now I get to my baby son, Suzukake!!!! I’ve actually half cleared his route before but didn’t see the ending yet. I SURE AS FLYING FUCKERY SHIT WILL NOT BE READY FOR THE ROUTE WHICH MY SON DIE!!!! probably I would skip it....

[maximilliandelirium]

somebody out there hates you

a/n: hhhh i wrote this in a pre-nanowrimo mania. wanted to post to ao3 but it’s acting weird so i thought i’d throw it up on the blog for now. notice me senpai fills me with joy, so i was inspired to make *~art~* the setting is anime japan so nothing is accurate and the points don’t matter (pssst! support me on ko-fi!)

Summary: Suzuki joins an anti-cafe out of curiosity and begins to re-evaluate his relationship with Yamato. Suzuki/Yamato (Idol Senpai/Rocker Senpai)

              Suzuki didn’t go online that evening intending to join an anti-Suzuki fan café. He usually didn’t dwell on his haters at all. But tonight, curiosity got the better of him. He’d been trawling the net after a long practice when he stumbled across a link to the anti-site. (Suzuki liked to Google himself; so what?) When he followed it, he realized he couldn’t read any of the message boards without an account.

               That’s a good thing, I guess, he thought. He didn’t really want to see what people were saying about him. He decided to forget about it and do his homework instead.

               At least, that was what he tried to do. He kept thinking about it as he struggled over his assigned reading. What did they talk about? Did they make fun of his hair? His personality? Maybe they picked apart his lyrics. The longer he thought about it, the more he wanted to know.

               Suzuki tossed his book aside and re-opened his laptop. He hadn’t closed the browser window. The link was still there. Yamato was always telling him to consider his weaknesses so he could improve. This could be beneficial. If Suzuki tried understanding where these people were coming from, he might be able to win them over, or at least get better at what he did.

               It didn’t take much to make an account. He had to create a new email—he didn’t want his regular one linked to the site. After that, he spent half an hour trying to come up with a screen name. It was imperative that no one know who he really was. His usual handle—“SuzuStar”—would give him away like a shot. Suzuki was also disappointed to discover that “YamatoFan#1” was taken. Eventually, he settled on “notafan1234.”

               Never having been on an anti-site before, Suzuki wasn’t sure what to expect. He was surprised by how plain it was. The header image was just the name of the page in bright red letters, along with a picture of his face with a “no” sign superimposed on it. He scrolled through the list of threads.

               Break Suzuki’s new MV!

               New Anti-Suzuki Memes

               Worst Lyrics Poll (CLOSED)

               Suzuki kept scrolling, horrified and fascinated. He found a thread titled “Important question for Yamato fans—should he be friends w/ Suzuki?” He clicked on it. He jumped when he saw the selfie he and Yamato had taken at the school festival. The original poster had written a caption beneath it.

               Ugh. I don’t get why Yamato wastes his time with this guy. They don’t have anything in common.

               A user named MerryPip added, Lol same. Yamato actually has talent.

               Suzuki frowned.

               They probably just hang out because they go to the same school, someone else said. Yamato doesn’t want to be mean.

               Tbh, SuzuYama shippers make me sick.

               Yamato shouldn’t keep feeding them by hanging out with him.

               They only do it for fanservice. I bet it’s in their contracts.

               Suzuki hadn’t been planning on responding to anyone, but the last comment had sent him over the edge. They had no right to question his friendship with Yamato. They didn’t know anything about him. He typed, Maybe Yamato and Suzuki are friends because they get along and like to hang out.

               A response appeared in no time. As if, Lonelygrrl said. Suzuki is too much of a ditz to get along with Yamato. He totally cramps his style. Yamato is just humoring him because the fans like it.

               Blood rushed to Yamato’s face. His fingers flew to the keys. That’s not true! How do you know Yamato is just pretending? You don’t have any proof. You’re just making stuff up!

               The backlash was swift and immediate. A gallery of photos flooded the thread with red outlines drawn around Yamato’s eyes and mouth, along with whole paragraphs explaining why his smile was faked, or how he couldn’t stand to actually touch Suzuki.

               His hand is just hovering here, Lonelygrrl wrote. All their selfies are faked. Their managers get together and tell them where to go. Like playdates.

               Suzuki slammed the laptop closed. He sat back, fuming. When his head cooled, Suzuki reached for his phone. He wanted to ask Yamato about this. (Yamato was saved in his contacts as “Yama heart eyes emoji, guitar emoji.”)

               Did u know there’s a whole website that hates me? Suzuki texted.

               Yamato answered quickly: No, but I’m not surprised. There’s always haters. You find one?

               Yeah. I made an account.

               WTF why?

               I wanted to see what they were saying.

               Delete it. That’s a waste of time.

               A waste of time. That’s what the anti-fans had said Yamato was doing by being Suzuki’s friend. He wanted to tell Yamato about it. But it had made him nervous. What if they were right? What if Yamato was only pretending to be friends with him? They’d become closer through school performances. Was that the only reason Yamato continued to hang out with him?

               Suzuki texted back: Ur right. They’re just mean.

               Don’t let it get to you. Some people have to be negative for no reason.

               Suzuki put the phone aside. He wouldn’t go back on the site. He’d just forget about it. Yamato was his friend and that was that. It wouldn’t do him any good to second guess it. Suzuki opened the laptop one last time to close the browser. There were a few more replies.

               Jesus, when will trolls learn not to come in here? MerryPip complained. Do. Not. Feed. The. Trolls.

               I’m not a troll, Suzuki thought, closing the window. He would delete the account tomorrow. Right now, he needed to get back to work.

               The next morning was rough. Suzuki hadn���t realized how much time had passed last night while he’d been reading the message boards, and by the time he completed his homework, it was 2AM. He shuffled into class, yawning.

               “Late night?” Reiji asked as Suzuki walked past.

               “It took me two hours to finish the reading.”

               “Me, too!” Takeru said. “And when I finished, it felt like I didn’t understand it at all.” He looked over at Ren. “What did you think?”

               Ren lifted his head slightly. “Huh? I didn’t finish. I fell asleep halfway through.”

               “You’re kidding. We have a quiz on it today.”

               “I can probably get a good enough grade with what I know.”

               Suzuki spotted Yamato sitting on the windowsill. He had his guitar balanced in his lap and he was strumming it idly. The things Suzuki had read last night started to seep into his mind. He pushed them away. I’m not going to think about it.

               “Yama-kun!” Suzuki called.

               Yamato glanced up and smiled. It looked real. Relief washed over Suzuki as he walked over. Yamato continued plucking on the strings.

               “Hey,” he said. “You look beat. What’s up?”

               “I got distracted by the internet last night and did all my homework late.” Suzuki blushed. Yamato liked to tease him for being irresponsible sometimes. “But I did get it done!”

               “Oh yeah. That site you texted me about. I hope you didn’t talk to anyone.”

               Suzuki laughed nervously. “No. Why would I?”

               “They’re trying to get a rise out of people. Starting an argument is just what they want.”

               He laughed again, this time more forced.

               Yamato tilted his head to the side. “You okay?”

               “Yeah. It’s all good.” Suzuki waved a hand. “Let’s stop talking about it. Do you still want to go shopping today after class?”

               “Sure. Just remember to change before we go out. I don’t want to get chased by your crazy fans again.”

               “I wouldn’t forget,” Suzuki said. He winked and stuck his tongue out. “Are you sure you don’t like the exercise?”

               “I’m sure.”

               Yamato met him in front of the school after classes let out. No matter how many times they went out in public together, Yamato never stopped staring at Suzuki’s outfit. Suzuki didn’t understand why he rolled his eyes every time he saw it.

               “What’s the matter? This is what I always wear,” he said.

               “I know. That’s the problem. We’re getting you some new civilian clothes today.” Yamato grabbed the hem of Suzuki’s t-shirt and gave it a tug. “How many of these do you own?”

               “A few.”

               “You’re supposed to be in disguise. Why would you wear a shirt with your own face on it?”

               “Because,” Suzuki said, lifting his index finger, “no one would ever suspect I’d wear my own merchandise. This face distracts them from looking at mine.”

               “If you say so.” Yamato let go.

               They walked into town, then took the train to the best shopping district. Though Yamato and Suzuki bought their clothes at different stores, they agreed that this part of the city had the best shops. The only problem was that it was crowded. Just getting off the train was a nightmare. Suzuki almost lost his hat.

               “Is it just me or are there more people here today than usual?” he asked, squashing it back on his head.

               “I think you’re right. There must be a promotion going on.” Yamato stretched to see over the crowd. “That one you like isn’t as busy. Let’s go to that one first.”

               They pressed through the crowd. Suzuki bumped into a woman carrying a dozen bags and made her drop all of them. He spent a few minutes helping her pick them up while bowing and apologizing. She gave him a dirty look. He wondered if she would’ve been as mad if she knew who he was.

               Or could she be one of the anti-fans?

               Suzuki hadn’t thought about it before, but those names online had real people behind them. They could’ve been from his own school. It was scary to think about. There might be some in this crowd. Suzuki readjusted his mask and sunglasses, making sure his face was completely hidden.

               “Suzu—!” Yamato cut himself off as he came jogging over. They’d gotten separated. “I turned around and you weren’t behind me.”

               “Sorry. It’s hard to stick together in all this.”

               Yamato sighed and looked around. Then he grabbed Suzuki’s hand. “Come on,” he said. “We need to get you a new shirt.”

               The changing room was cold. Suzuki quickly pulled on one of the shirts he’d brought in. It was a purple galaxy print. There were three mirrors placed in the corner of the stall, giving him a rounded view. He was pretty satisfied with his appearance. Suzuki had often been told he had a good face. And his rigorous dance practices kept him in good shape. Yet…

               Earlier, while Yamato was going through leather jackets, Suzuki had pulled up the anti-café on his phone. He needed to know if they knew where he was. His fans tended to track his movements. His haters might do the same thing.

               Though there wasn’t anything about where he physically was, but there was a new thread: “Is Suzuki actually handsome? Yes/No?” He knew he shouldn’t read it. It didn’t matter what a handful of bitter people on the internet thought. But the urge was too strong.

               It’s supposed to be his major selling point, but I’m a girl and I think he’s kind of lame.

               His hair color looks so fake and not in a good way.

               Didn’t he gain weight recently? No one’s gonna stick around if he keeps putting on the pounds XD

               Imo he’s kind of short.

               I’m 178 centimeters! That’s above average! Suzuki was shorter than Yamato, but that didn’t mean he was tiny. He remembered what Yamato had said about not engaging them. He wanted to set them straight.

               The school festival selfie had reappeared. Suzuki had been proud of it at the time. His and Yamato’s costumes were perfectly coordinated, they’d posed in front of the best decorations in the classroom, and they’d gotten a perfect angle. This site didn’t seem to agree.

               Look at this lame-ass Star Sailor costume.

               I stg Suzuki drags Yamato into his weird interests all the time.

               is it supposed to be funny? Who are they trying to appeal to?

               It had taken every ounce of Suzuki’s self-control not to go off on them. Star Sailor was one of his great loves. It was one of Yamato’s as well. That was the whole reason they had coordinated their cosplays.

               Unable to stomach any more, he had turned off the screen, gathered a few shirts and gone into the dressing room. He examined himself in the mirror. He still looked fine. Suzuki plucked a strand of hair. Was it too yellow?

               He took off the galaxy shirt and pinched his stomach. Suzuki wasn’t as muscular as boys like Makoto or Katsuo, but he had a lithe figure. Nothing seemed to have changed. Sometimes Suzuki’s manager warned him not to indulge his sweet tooth too much. Maybe he should start taking that message more to heart. He felt a pang of loss just considering skipping the cakes at the school’s café.

               Suzuki shook his head. He was letting the anti-site get to him.

               When he emerged from the dressing room, he spotted Yamato coming over, his arms weighed down with jackets and black jeans. He eyed Suzuki’s pile.

               “Did you find anything good?” he asked.

               “I like this one.” Suzuki pointed at the galaxy shirt. “What do you think?”

               Yamato shrugged. “You look good in everything.”

               “Aw, Yama-kun, you’re so sweet!” Suzuki said in an over-the-top cutesy voice. He shimmied his shoulders for extra effect.

               Yamato rolled his eyes and gave Suzuki a light smack on the arm. He disappeared behind the curtain. Suzuki put away the clothes he didn’t want while he waited. He wondered if Yamato had hate sites, too. It didn’t seem possible. Yamato was so handsome and talented; it was hard to imagine a bunch of people getting together just to make fun of him.

               Suzuki pulled out his phone again. He went through his pictures until he found another selfie he’d taken with Yamato. It was from the last time Yamato had hung out at his house. Suzuki hadn’t made it public. He didn’t know why. It was a good picture. There wasn’t anything scandalous or illegal in it.

               He supposed he hadn’t wanted to share it because it felt more personal than the others. They were both in sweatshirts and pajama pants, their faces lit up by the blue light from Suzuki’s TV. Suzuki was leaning heavily on Yamato, who was grinning at the camera. Suzuki was smiling fondly up at Yamato.

               If those jerks online could see this picture, they’d realize Yamato wasn’t faking his feelings of friendship. Suzuki couldn’t post it, though. This picture was just for him and Yamato, no one else. He sighed and closed the photo gallery.

               Yamato came out of the dressing room. “I’m ready if you are,” he said.

               “Are you buying anything?” Suzuki asked as he headed for the counter.

               Yamato shook his head. “I’m going to shop around a bit more. Do you want to get some bubble tea after the next stop?”

               “Only if we go to that one place next to the arcade.”

               “Okay, but you’re not dragging me into another DDR competition.”

               Suzuki put his arm around Yamato’s shoulders. “Come on, you’re not that bad. You almost beat me last time.”

               Yamato shook his head. He copied Suzuki’s gesture, linking them closer together. He gave Suzuki’s back a pat. “I’ll leave the dancing to the trained idol. Some other time. Now go, it’s your turn.” He nudged Suzuki forward.

               Suzuki reluctantly let go of Yamato. He brought his shirts to the girl working the cash register. She smiled at him.

               “You and your friend are cute,” she said as she rung him up.

               “Thanks! I try.”

               She giggled. “Have a nice day.”

               “Did you flirt your way to a discount?” Yamato asked.

               Suzuki’s eyes widened behind his sunglasses. “You can do that?”

               “No, idiot.” Yamato took Suzuki’s hand again. “Maybe you could, but I wouldn’t. I hope she didn’t recognize you.”

               “She didn’t. If she had, she would’ve asked for an autograph.”

               They could never get a seat by the windows, otherwise their combined fans would fill the restaurant. Suzuki was half thankful for the privacy it afforded them, but they had to sit in a dim corner where there wasn’t much space. One of Yamato’s legs rested against one of his own.

               “What kind did you get?” Suzuki asked.

               Yamato glanced up from his phone. “Honeydew. You wanna try it?”

               “Sure.” Suzuki took a sip from Yamato’s bubble tea. They had never worried about germs. The tea was perfectly sweet and mellow. He passed it back, a smile on his lips.

               “You know, that’s the first time you smiled this afternoon,” Yamato said. “It feels like you’ve been gloomy ever since we left school.”

               “Really?” He hadn’t noticed. “I guess I’m just tired. We’re already talking about the next comeback.”

               “They should let you have a break. I’ve been talking to my agency about a vacation.” Yamato lowered his phone and met Suzuki’s eyes. “We could go somewhere. Hawai’i maybe. I’ve always wanted to do a shark tour.”

               Suzuki shuddered. “That’s scary!”

               “They put you in a cage. It’s not dangerous.”

               “You can do that. I want to get a tan.”

               Yamato knocked his leg against Suzuki���s. “But you’d want to go? With me?”

               “Of course.”

               Yamato’s eyes lit up. He smiled. “Awesome. We can get it cleared with your manager. There’s a little while before our next break. We could go then if your team says it’s okay.”

               Hawai’I with Yamato. Suzuki imagined what it might be like. Sun, sand, and the ocean. Swimsuits. Sleeping in. Hawai’ian food. He sighed wistfully. Ever since he had first seen travel programs for it on TV, he’d always wanted to go. The best part might be going with Yamato. They could run around together as much as they wanted. They’d have their own hotel room.

               “Will you ask your manager about it?” Yamato said, pressing Suzuki’s leg again. He was chewing on the corner of his lip.

               “I will. I’ll text her now.” Suzuki fished his phone from his jacket pocket. He braced his leg against Yamato’s. He took comfort in the pressure. Yamato was strong. It felt good to lean on him.

               Some of the other guys invited them to karaoke after school that weekend. It was Hajime’s idea apparently, which meant he’d roped in Soujiro, who was bringing the twins, and so on and so on. Things usually turned out this way. If someone mentioned a party, everyone ended up unofficially invited. Ikemen wasn’t a small school, but word spread quickly, and the upperclassmen were all connected by a web of association.

               Suzuki didn’t remember who specifically asked him and Yamato if they wanted to tag along. It might’ve been Ai. Anyway, they showed up at the karaoke place after everyone else had already arrived thanks to an unexpected fangirl sighting.

               “You guys are late,” Tokiya said.

               “We just got chased halfway across the city,” Yamato said, tossing his jacket onto one of the couches. “Give us a break.”

               Suzuki removed his mask, sunglasses, and hat. He took stock of the group. Ai had brought Tokiya and Ryuu, but Kurou was nowhere to be seen, meaning there’d be a fight later. (Ryuu and Tokiya always fought.) Soujiro and the twins were there, wearing casual clothes for once. Yuu and Baa had shown up as well. Suzuki would never get over the goat head. Takeru was there, probably having heard about the outing through word of mouth.

               “Sorry, we ordered food without you,” he said.

               “It’s fine. We can get something later.”

               Suzuki settled in beside Yamato. He had asked his manager about the vacation. She hadn’t gotten back to him yet. He was starting to get nervous. Running from their fans earlier had only made Suzuki want it more. After this comeback. If the single does well, then I earned it. She can’t say no.

               The other third-years had already lined up a decent list of songs. They must have been feeling nostalgic, since most of the music was from the 80s and 90s. Takeru, being Takeru, shared some of his food with Yamato and Suzuki while Hajime launched into a heart-felt ballad at the top of his lungs.

               It was times like these that made Suzuki wish he wasn’t an idol. Being a senior in high school wasn’t easy, but there was so much more freedom. You definitely didn’t get hate comments. You could hang out with whoever you wanted. You didn’t get chased when you went outside. He could never just quit though. He loved music. He loved performing. But it was nice to just be with friends and not on a stage.

               Yamato nudged him with his elbow. “Are you going to sing?”

               “Obviously!” Suzuki hopped up. “I wonder if they have one of your songs on the machine.”

               “Ooh, do it!” Ai said.

               Yamato looked embarrassed. “Come on…”

               “What?” Suzuki scrolled through the song list. “Are you scared I’m gonna ruin it? I’ll let you cover one of mine?”

               “You should do a duet,” Hajime said. “Give us the collab everyone’s been waiting for!”

               Takeru nodded in agreement and Ai applauded. “Yeah!” he said. “Do that!”

               Yamato got up and walked over to the screen, picking up a microphone for himself. “Pick something we both know. One that’s in my range.”

               Suzuki kept scrolling. They had a couple of his songs, as well as a few of Yama’s, but none of them were duets. Then he spotted something. He let out a cry of excitement.

               “Yama! The Star Sailor duet! From the musical.” He grabbed Yamato’s upper arm and squeezed it insistently. “Remember? The part where Selena hears Damian join her from offstage, and then he comes down from the ceiling?” He shook Yamato’s arm for emphasis. “Let’s do this one. Please?”

               “Wait, you’ve seen the Star Sailor musical?” Ryuu asked with a smirk.

               Yamato blushed. “It’s good,” he muttered. To Suzuki, he said, “You really want to do this one? It’s kind of…”

               “I know all the words,” Suzuki said proudly. “I could sing it without looking at the screen.”

               Yamato still looked hesitant. An upsetting thought reared its ugly head. Suzuki remembered the discussion in the anti-café, about their Star Sailor cosplay. I stg Suzuki drags Yamato into his weird interests all the time. Suzuki’s heart sank. What if Yama really was only going along with it to humor him? Liking a sparkly and romantic mahou shojo wasn’t Yamato’s style. And he probably hadn’t wanted to broadcast any interest in it.

               “Um, we don’t have to,” Suzuki said. He reached out to scroll down the list again. “There’s probably another song we can both sing in here.”

               “No,” Yamato blurted, color still high in his cheeks. “I want to do this one.”

               “Are you sure?”

               Yamato nodded. “You can have Selena’s part. The notes are too high for me.”

               Relief washed over Suzuki. He might be humoring you again, a mean voice whispered in the back of his head. He tried to ignore it. As long as he got to sing with Yamato, he didn’t really care. He pressed play.

               They might have been in a random karaoke room, surrounded by classmates, but Suzuki poured his heart into the performance. He loved the Star Sailor musical. He thought it was hopelessly romantic. Especially the part where Damian appeared. Suzuki started the duet and Yamato jumped in after a few bars. His voice was perfect for the song. It was like he really was Damian.

               If Yamato had seemed uncomfortable before, he had shaken it off. He sang with confidence, turning to face Suzuki and holding out his hand. A thrill went through Suzuki as he took it. Yamato even twirled him under his arm. They could have been onstage. Suzuki had no trouble imagining Yamato in the top hat and mask (seeing as he’d worn the costume before). He also had no trouble seeing why Yamato’s fans left strings of hearts in the comments on his selfie posts.

               Suzuki was starting to feel lightheaded. It might’ve been because the room was hot, or all his breath was going into the duet, but at the same time, he knew that wasn’t the real reason. Yamato drew him in a step closer. They were reaching the end of the song.

               In the musical, Selena and Damian ended their duet by putting their foreheads together, eyes closed. Then, just before the stage lights dimmed, they would kiss. It was cheated, covered by strategic hand placement, but Suzuki squealed every time. Now, as his head came to rest against Yamato’s, he had a crazy idea.

               What if Yamato kissed him?

               Suzuki’s heart started to pound. Yamato’s face was so close to his. It would take just a tiny movement for their lips to touch. Even though the actors usually closed their eyes, Yamato was looking straight at him, and Suzuki couldn’t tear his gaze away. He’d forgotten everyone in the room. They might as well have been alone.

               Then, the last note of the song faded. Yamato stepped back. Suzuki released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Yamato’s hand was still in his. Suzuki was shaking. All around them, the other third-years applauded. Someone whistled.

               Suzuki came back to himself just in time. He raised his and Yama’s hands between them and swept into a low bow. “Thank you, thank you,” he said. “We’ll be here all week.”

               “You guys were great!” Tokiya said. “It was just like seeing the actual musical. Right, Ryuu?”

               Ryuu shrugged. “Don’t ask me. I’ve never watched Star Sailor live.”

               “Oh really? Then what was that about telling Kurou how much you liked the actress that played Queen Pyrite?”

               Ryuu’s mouth opened and shut indignantly. He turned away to hide the blush that had spread across his face. “Shut up, Tokiya.”

               Yamato insisted on walking Suzuki home. None of their fans appeared, so it was an uneventful journey, but Suzuki’s heart hadn’t stopped racing. Yamato was at his side, keeping pace and chatting about his plans for a new song. Suzuki only half-registered the words he was saying. The rest of his mind was occupied with the ups and downs of his voice, his smile, the way the streetlights made his hair glow.

               Suzuki remembered how Yamato had held his hand earlier and while they were shopping and wished Yamato would do it again. It had felt nice. He was tempted to bridge the distance between them, to reach out and mesh their fingers. Suzuki put his hands in his pockets instead.

               Could friends hold hands whenever? He didn’t think there was anything weird about it, but most of the people he saw holding hands were couples. He could ask Yamato, but that seemed awkward. Why was he even getting the urge to hold hands in the first place?

               “Suzuki?” Yamato had somehow ended up behind him. His brow was furrowed in concern. “Isn’t this your place?”

               Suzuki looked back. He’d kept walking past his house. “Oh,” he said, grinning sheepishly. “Sorry, I was distracted. Thinking about stuff.” He jogged back.

               “You’re such an airhead,” Yamato said warmly. He ground his knuckles against the sides of Suzuki’s head, not hard enough to hurt. “What would you do without me?”

               Suzuki laughed, swatting Yamato’s hands away. “Mean! That’s it, we’re rivals now.”

               Yamato smirked. “I couldn’t be your rival. I’d crush you, and I don’t have the heart to do that. It’d be like kicking a puppy.”

               “Woof!” Suzuki’s chest grew arm as Yamato burst into a fit of giggles.

               Yamato took off his cap and mussed his hair. “Go on, your mom’s probably worried you got kidnapped by a crazy fan.”

               “Text me when you get home,” Suzuki said.

               “Will do. See you at school.”

               Suzuki watched Yamato go until he vanished around a street corner.

               Yamato texted him about twenty minutes later to let him know he’d arrived home safely. Suzuki tried to do his homework, but his thoughts were a jumble. He couldn’t concentrate. After an hour of struggling, he took a bath and changed for bed. If he couldn’t do his homework, he’d go to sleep now and wake up early to finish. And yet…

               Suzuki lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. What had happened tonight was different from how things usually went between him and Yamato. He remembered the light, fluttery feeling in his chest when Yamato had held his hand, and how it had doubled when their foreheads were together. He remembered looking into Yamato’s eyes as they’d sung the Star Sailor duet at the karaoke place.

               Friends didn’t react that way. Suzuki knew that. A friend didn’t set your heart racing just by touching you. They didn’t spawn butterflies in your stomach. Suzuki was starting to tremble just thinking about it. Heat burned up his neck to his ears.

               If he was being honest with himself, he had imagined kissing Yamato before. It was impossible not to. There was a whole legion of fans who thought they should be a couple. Suzuki had never missed an opportunity to please them. He thought it was actually rather sweet. Yamato had laughed at first, but in general had approached the whole thing with good humor. With that sort of thing going on, it was hard not to imagine what it might be like if they actually were together.

               Yamato seemed like he’d be a good kisser. He’d probably kissed lots of girls. Had he ever kissed another boy before? Probably not. Suzuki touched his lips. He had faked kisses with girls for MVs, but had never done it seriously. Yamato might laugh at his inexperience.

               But he might also smile as he kissed him. He might hold Suzuki to him in a firm embrace, stroking his hair. He might also push Suzuki against a wall and kiss him fiercely, channeling the energy of his music into Suzuki until they were both breathless.

               Suzuki opened his eyes. He hadn’t realized he’d closed them. He took a deep breath in, then let it out. His imagination usually didn’t go that far. Suzuki felt a little uncomfortable. It was probably wrong for him to think of Yamato like that, but now that he’d started he couldn’t stop.

               He pictured being able to hold hands with Yamato all the time, not just in a crowd, kisses before class, cuddling with each other while they watched movies… His heart surged. The thought of being with Yamato as more than a friend had made him so happy he couldn’t want anything else.

               Suzuki wasn’t stupid. Maybe somewhat naive at times, but not stupid. He knew what he was experiencing. He loved Yamato. He had been loving Yamato for a long time now. Why shouldn’t he? Yamato was so artistic and brilliant and kind. It was just now occurring to him that his feelings ran over the edges of platonic affection into something else.

               At the same time, Suzuki knew he couldn’t tell him. Yamato couldn’t possibly return his feelings. Even if he did, they couldn’t date without it being plastered over every magazine cover and celebrity news website. He thought of the message boards on the anti-Suzuki site. Those people would riot if Suzuki even hinted at the idea of loving Yamato. They might even go so far as to threaten him. And, worst of all, what if they were right? What if Yamato was only his friend because he had to be?

               Suzuki didn’t want to believe it. He refused to. But the seeds of doubt had been sown. If he confessed to Yamato, and what those people online said was true, then he’d just humiliate himself. They’d never be able to hang out again. Suzuki feared that the most. He’d rather hold these feelings inside rather than run the risk of losing Yamato’s friendship.

               He rolled over and buried his face in his pillow. If he stayed like this long enough, maybe he would smother himself and never have to think of it again. He lifted his head eventually. It got too uncomfortable.

               “I’ll just keep going like everything’s the same,” Suzuki said out loud. “He’ll never find out and we’ll keep being friends. I won’t have to give him up.”

               Still, the resolution filled him with pain. He would never have that relationship with Yamato. It wasn’t going to be easy. Yamato would only have to touch him to send ripples of longing through Suzuki. He would have to train himself not to react, not to reciprocate where it wasn’t wanted.

               He got up and found his MP3 player in his backpack. He put his earbuds in. Suzuki had every single album Yamato had released. He started with the first one, for nostalgia’s sake. As he listened, he imagined Yamato was singing just for him.

               Pretending everything was normal was a lot harder than Suzuki realized. Yamato was everywhere. They were in class together all day, ate together during lunch, and even hung out after school. Suzuki didn’t want to stop hanging out with him; that would just make Yamato suspicious. But it was getting more and more difficult to focus on history and science when they studied together.

               They were at Yamato’s apartment that afternoon. Yamato lived alone, which Suzuki used to think was a good thing, since there was no one to bother them if they decided to stay up all night watching anime. Now, he desperately wished there was someone to ward away his thoughts of kissing Yamato.

               Yamato ran his fingers through his hair. He looked frustrated. “I’m not getting it,” he said. “What about you?”

               Suzuki shook his head. He hadn’t even been trying. The whole study session was turning out to be counterproductive. How do people with crushes survive?

               “Do you want to take a break and play Mario Kart?”

               Suzuki shoved his notebook aside. “Absolutely.”

               Hopefully, a game would keep his mind off of contemplating the feel of Yamato’s lips against his. He settled into Yamato’s couch, controller in hand. They weren’t competitive with each other in any area except Mario Kart. Soon, he’d want to strangle Yamato instead of make-out with him.

               The plan worked, for a little while. Suzuki got swept up in the races, he and Yamato resorting to cheating by bumping into each other in real life and trying to wrestle the controllers out of each other’s hands. It was just like how things had been before. Suzuki relaxed.

               However, things took a turn when Yamato hit him with a shell, right before Suzuki was about to win Rainbow Road. Bowser dashed across the finish line while Princess Peach was still spinning out. Suzuki threw down his controller and started pummeling Yamato lightly with his fists.

               “I hate you! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!”

               “I’m just playing the game,” Yamato laughed.

               “That was my win, you cheater!”

               “Shells are a part of the game. You hit me with a blue shell a couple tracks ago. How is this any different?” Yamato grabbed Suzuki’s wrists. “You still got second place.”

               “I should’ve been first,” Suzuki said. “I did the shortcut and everything.” He struggled against Yamato’s hold. “Let me go. I’m not done beating you up.”

               Yamato pushed him backwards, pinning him to the couch. He hovered over Suzuki. “Oh yeah? I’d like to see you try. When you were hitting me, it felt like being stung by a mosquito.”

               Suzuki went red. He tried to break free, but Yamato was strong. He went redder as he became more aware of their position. What was this, a scene out of a shojo manga?

               “Okay, okay,” he said hastily. “You win. Fair and square. Can you get off me?”

               Yamato let go. He leaned back. Suzuki lay there for a second longer, trying to catch his breath. Had he actually been wanting Yamato to kiss him like that? To just lean down and…

               Suzuki shook his head. He had to get out of here before he did something stupid. He sat up. “Um, I should probably head home. I promised Mom I’d eat dinner with her tonight. She says she barely gets to see me.”

               “Oh.” Yamato sounded disappointed. “It’s still early.”

               Suzuki coughed. “Yeah. I said I’d help her cook, too.”

               “Alright. I’ll walk you.” Yamato started to get up.

               “Ah, no thanks!” Suzuki squeaked. He winced at the sound of his own voice. What was wrong with him? “I can make it on my own. I have my disguise and everything.”

               “Are you sure?”

               Suzuki nodded. He gathered his notebook and school things as quickly as possible. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow! Good luck on the physics homework.”

               Yamato followed him to the door. “Text me when you get home?”

               “Sure!” Suzuki chirped (too brightly, he realized). Then, before he could embarrass himself any further, he rushed out the door.

               Suzuki made good on his word to help his mother make dinner. She’d been surprised to see him home so early, but glad to spend time with him as well. Suzuki’s schedule was so hectic that they rarely ate dinner together, let alone cooked together. He wasn’t as good as Souma in the kitchen, but he managed.

               A part of him wanted to tell her about Yamato. He had a good opportunity to when she asked how he was doing. In the end, he said Yamato was doing fine and left it at that. He didn’t want to bother his mom with that kind of thing. (Truth be told, he was embarrassed to mention having a crush in the first place.)

               After dinner, he holed himself up in his room. Suzuki knew it was the last thing he needed right now, but he logged back onto the anti-café. No one had banned him yet. Suzuki hadn’t commented since that first time, so they’d probably forgotten he was there.

               It was full of the usual hatred and vitriol. Suzuki picked a thread railing against his and Yamato’s relationship. He scrolled through it for a while, his heart sinking lower and lower until it reached the Earth’s core. They despised the idea of him and Yamato together, whether they were friends or dating.

               It can never happen, Suzuki thought. His fans might turn on him.

               Suzuki finally closed the thread. Then, because he had no one else to turn to, he texted Jae. Jae was currently in South Korea, visiting family and the other members of his group. Suzuki hoped he wasn’t too busy.

               Hey sunbae, Suzuki wrote, do you ever get hate comments?

               It didn’t take long for Jae to text back. oh totally. happens all the time.

               How do you deal with them?

               i try to ignore it. block out the haters

               It was good advice. A no-brainer, honestly, if only Suzuki could follow it. have you ever found a whole site that hates you? an anti café?

               man don’t tell me you have one of those. you’re a ray of sunshine! how could anyone make a whole anti-café devoted to you?

               Idk either. It’s really been getting me down. What should I do?

               Jae spent a long time typing. Suzuki watched the little ellipses dance while he waited. Eventually, Jae wrote back, you can always block the site or their comments. it’s nothing to be ashamed of. you don’t owe them anything tbh. if they’re not actually sending you constructive criticism, if all they’re doing is trying to tear you down, then kick ‘em to the curb ㅋㅋㅋ seriously tho, don’t read that stuff. it breaks my heart that anyone could be so mean to my hoobae

               T^T you’re the best jae-sunbae, Suzuki replied.

               i try 😉 is there anything else i can help with?

               Suzuki hesitated. He could trust Jae with anything. But could he trust him with this? Maybe if he was vague, Jae wouldn’t realize who Suzuki was talking about. He took a deep breath and wrote, yeah. Have you ever had a crush on someone who’s like, your friend?

               are we talking about yama?

               Suzuki nearly dropped his phone. He typed a response with trembling fingers. Haha nooooooo where did you get that idea? I’m talking hypothetically.

               sure, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), Jae replied. so in this hypothetical situation, is the crusher a j-idol and the crushee a rockstar?

               (^◇^；) no…

               suzuki literally everyone on the planet thinks you guys are dating. even my mom thinks so.

               Suzuki huffed. That doesn’t make it true! he typed. Answer my question: did you ever have a crush on a friend, yes/no?

               Again, it took a while for Jae to reply. yep! didn’t work out but hey! it was someone else in the music scene. you know how it is. not that you should get discouraged! you and yamato would be super cute together.

               Suzuki blushed. He thought for a while about what he should say. He typed out, do you really think so? what if a lot of people got mad?

               you shouldn’t care about what other people think. it’s your personal life.

               What if, hypothetically, it’s just one-sided and I ruin our whole friendship?

               i doubt it would ruin your friendship, Jae wrote. i’m 99.9% sure yama likes you. have you seen how he looks in your selfies? heart eyes <3

               Suzuki’s blush deepened. No way. Jae was just trying to make him feel better. Then again, the duet in the karaoke room gave him a sliver of hope. But that was a performance. They were acting like Damian and Selena.

               What about the other 1%? Suzuki wrote.

               you doubt my judgment?? look, even if he doesn’t feel that way about you, your friendship won’t tank just because of a little crush. not if it’s real and i think it is.

               Okay. Thanks again, sunbae <3 I’ll let you get back to whatever you were doing.

               anytime! it’s good to be home, but i miss everyone over there TT take care of yourself!

               Suzuki locked his phone screen and lay down. Talking to Jae had helped, but he still couldn’t bring himself to confess to Yamato. He didn’t understand how Jae could be so confident when his own crush hadn’t worked out. He knew just as well as Suzuki how hard it was for idols to date normally.

               Even if Yamato liked me back, I’d get flayed alive. Probably by my manager, too. His manager still hadn’t given him the green light on the vacation. Suzuki was starting to think that was her way of saying no. It might be better if he didn’t go. Hawai’i was a romantic place, right? What if Suzuki got carried away and blurted his feelings? It would defeat the purpose of a relaxing getaway.

               I should tell Yamato I can’t come with. Suzuki would do it tomorrow, at school. He’d rip the band-aid off, so to speak, and get it over with. Hopefully Yamato wouldn’t be too disappointed.

               Suzuki didn’t get a chance to tell Yamato the next day, because Yamato was suddenly super busy. He was on the phone with someone before class started, and he spent every break scribbling in his notebook. He disappeared during lunch before Suzuki could even ask if they were going to eat together. It wasn’t that strange, really. 3-A was full of students with irregular schedules. For example, Takahiro had taken off for some part-time job earlier.

               However, Yamato wasn’t there the next day either, so Suzuki couldn’t tell him then, either. And then Suzuki had to skip a day to spend it in a recording studio. He considered texting Yamato about it, but he would rather tell him in person. It seemed a bit too important not to discuss face-to-face.

               Suzuki finally got a chance when he and Yamato both arrived late in the school day. He guessed Yamato must have been recording something as well. He was dressed down from his usual leather jacket and had left out a few piercings. He only did that when he had an early morning session.

               “Are you free to walk home today, Yama?” Suzuki asked as they jogged up the stairs to 3-A. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

               “Today’s no good.”

               “What about tomorrow morning?”

               Yamato shook his head. “Busy. Sorry.”

               Suzuki paused. “What’s going on? Are you prepping a new release?”

               Yamato didn’t answer. He just kept going. Suzuki stared at his retreating back. What was the big secret? Yamato usually shared any and all details about his projects. He’d been talking about a new song after karaoke. Were the two related, or was this another thing altogether?

               What if I made him uncomfortable? Suzuki thought, gripped by terror. Or what if Jae was trying to be helpful and told him I have a crush on him? He knew he was jumping to conclusions. Yamato was busy; that was all. Even so, he felt nervous. Why hadn’t Yamato answered him?

               Suzuki investigated Yamato’s fansites. He wasn’t making special appearances anywhere. There were no concert announcements. Not even a rumor of an album release. So what was he doing? He hadn’t walked home with Suzuki or asked him over for a while. They didn’t even have lunch together anymore.

               A sick, heavy dread settled in Suzuki’s stomach as he logged onto the anti-café. It got worse. The café was overjoyed.

               No suzuyama sightings lately! He finally dropped him!

               Heard rumors from school that they’re split up.

               Maybe S*zuki will take a hint and stop clinging to Yamato like a puppy

               It’d be like kicking a puppy. Suzuki’s mouth went dry. He tossed his phone into his backpack. Did Yamato really see him as a dog, stupidly following him everywhere? He’d played along with the joke that time, but now it stung.

               “Romantic troubles?”

               Suzuki jumped a foot. Ai was standing right behind him, his quiver slung across his back. He didn’t wait for an invitation to take the empty seat next to Suzuki. Suzuki had thought he’d been alone in this courtyard, but Ai must have had a tracking device implanted in every boy in school.

               “I’m not having romantic troubles,” Suzuki lied.

               Ai smiled skeptically. “It’s about Yamato, isn’t it?”

               Am I really that obvious? Suzuki’s shoulders sagged. “Not you, too.”

               “What, is it a secret? Even that nice girl at the café knows.”

               Suzuki put his face in his hands. If everyone knew then how could Yamato not? He’s avoiding me, since he realized I’m bad for his image.

               Ai patted his knee. “Cheer up! You could do a lot worse than Yamato.”

               “Not if he hates me!”

               “Why do you think he hates you?”

               “He’s been avoiding me,” Suzuki said. “At first, I thought he was working on something, but he wouldn’t tell me anything about it. And don’t say he’s throwing me a surprise party. My birthday isn’t coming up.”

               “Hmm, that’s tricky.” Ai rubbed his chin. “He usually shares all his projects with you, right? Maybe he’s seeing someone else?”

               Suzuki went cold. He hadn’t considered that possibility. Had Yamato started dating and not told him? No, that couldn’t be. Someone would’ve snapped a picture or started a rumor by now, and the fansites were quiet.

               “No.” He shook his head. “He would’ve told me for sure.”

               Ai shrugged. “Then he’s probably busy. You shouldn’t get too worked up, Suzuki. Guys like him sometimes have trouble communicating their feelings. He might be focusing so hard that he hasn’t had time to tell you about it. Kurou does the same thing. He gets tunnel-vision when he’s working on a play.”

               It made Suzuki feel a little better, but it didn’t inspire confidence. He couldn’t shake the feeling that Yamato was purposefully ducking him.

               “Anyway, I’m meeting Sousuke for an archery showdown,” Ai said, standing up. “He’s going to regret challenging me. Are you going to be okay?”

               Suzuki nodded. “Thanks for the advice, Ai. Good luck.”

               Ai shot him a thumbs-up before he left. Suzuki remained where he was. He didn’t know how long he sat in the courtyard, staring at the flowerbeds. His phone buzzed, snapping him out of it.

               It was Yamato. Suzuki had been expecting his manager. His heart thumped rapidly. He opened the message. Hey Suzuki, can you come to the music room?

               He was torn. Should he go? Yamato had asked him, but what if it was just to say that they shouldn’t hang out anymore. Or worse, that he didn’t return Suzuki’s feelings, which were apparently so obvious that they could be seen from space? Eventually, Suzuki gathered his courage and went to the music room.

               School had finished for the day, so the music room was deserted, except for Yamato and Suzuki. It was quiet. All the clubs were meeting on the other side of Ikemen. Yamato was leaning against the piano, fiddling something. When Suzuki got closer, he realized it was his MP3 player.

               “Hey,” Yamato said. He sounded nervous. “Sorry for ghosting you. I was working on an important project.”

               A bit of relief crept into Suzuki’s veins. “Really? Why didn’t you just say so?”

               Yamato blushed. “Well, uh, it was kind of a surprise. I didn’t know whether it would work out. I, um… here.” He held out the MP3 player. “Listen.”

               Suzuki took it. He put an earbud in. There was only one track on the device, untitled. He hit play. A second later, the sound of Yamato’s voice filled his ears. Yamato’s singing voice was wonderful and familiar, but the backing track didn’t sound like his style at all. It sounded more like Suzuki’s music than his, though there was a hint of Yamato there, too. The more Suzuki listened, the more it grew on him. The lyrics were about stars burning bright for centuries, their light stretching across galaxies long after their death, and gazing at the same sky as someone you loved. A lump formed in his throat.

               “What do you think?” Yamato asked when Suzuki finished.

               “Amazing, like always,” Suzuki said. “Is this going to be on your next album?”

               “Actually…” Yamato scuffed the floor. “I was thinking it could be on yours. I wrote it for you to sing, if you want it. I figured it was the least I could do, after you made me that mixtape for my birthday.”

               Suzuki couldn’t believe it. Yamato had written him a song. Not just one to listen to, but one to sing. The lump in his throat got bigger. “W-what’s the occasion?” he asked, his voice trembling.

               “No reason. I just wanted to do something special, I guess. Do you like it?”

               Suzuki nodded vigorously. He couldn’t speak. Before he could stop himself, tears began to flow down his cheeks. I’m so dumb. I thought he was ditching me this whole time, and he was working on a song. For me. He covered his face, but it didn’t stop the noise from escaping. It was like a dam had burst; all of Suzuki’s feelings rushed out in one go.

               “What are you crying for?” Yamato asked, gently removing Suzuki’s hands from his face.

               Suzuki hiccupped. He was so embarrassed. He hadn’t meant to cry. “I…” he tried to say. “I was afraid you were tired of me.”

               Yamato sighed. “I’m not tired of you, Suzu. Have you been paying attention to what those losers online are saying? I told you they’re full of it. Come here.”

               He folded Suzuki into his arms. Suzuki let out another involuntary sob. He buried his face in Yamato’s shoulder. It was sturdy and strong. His t-shirt was soft. Yamato alternated between patting his back and rubbing circles.

               Eventually, Suzuki cried himself out. He stepped back. Yamato let him go, but he kept his hands on Suzuki’s arms. He was looking at him with concern.

               “Are you okay?”

               Suzuki nodded and sniffed. “I’ll be fine. I didn’t want it to get to me, but I guess…”

               “They’re just bitter and pathetic people who have nothing better to do with their time.” Yamato gathered Suzuki’s hands and held them against his chest. “They’re not real. This is. And any fan of mine who talks that way about you isn’t a real fan. If they can’t love you as much as I do, then that’s their problem.”

               Suzuki blinked. He wanted to wipe away a few stray tears, but he didn’t want Yamato to let go of him. “You love me?” he asked, half-stunned.

               The realization seemed to come over Yamato at the exact same moment. A blush covered his cheeks. “Did I say that?”

               “You did.”

               “Well… I mean, of course I do. You’re my best friend.” To Suzuki’s dismay, Yamato dropped his hands. He ran his fingers through his hair, disturbing the spikes. “I thought you already knew that.”

               “I do now.” Suzuki smiled, trying to mask his disappointment. I shouldn’t be disappointed at all. Yamato’s friendship is super important to me, too. “I love you, too.”

               Yamato blushed deeper. “Alright, alright. Let’s not get carried away.”

               Suzuki laughed. This was good. He knew now that Yamato wasn’t going to abandon him. They were still friends. They could continue performing together at school. It would be fun. At least I had a chance to say it to him out loud, even if he doesn’t know how much I really mean it.

               Suzuki blocked the anti-café. He had to stop using it to punish himself. Besides, he couldn’t forgive them for leading him to believe Yamato didn’t care about him. He made sure to delete his account too, just in case the urge overpowered him, and he lifted the block.

               It’s been fun, he thought. He instantly felt better. Things returned to normal. Suzuki approached his manager with Yamato’s song. He leaned heavily on the idea of marketing it as a collaboration and watched as the yen signs appeared in her eyes. After that, she shocked him by giving him permission to go to Hawai’i.

               “If the song does well, we’ll find time for a vacation,” she promised. “I couldn’t answer you before, since there was a lot up in the air, but you deserve some time off.”

               “And I can go with Yamato?”

               “If your schedules line up, I don’t see why not.”

               The next morning, he told Yamato by throwing himself into his arms and shouting, “We’re going to Hawai’i!”

               “Your manager said yes?” Yamato said, brightening.

               Suzuki nodded. “She said that if the collab works out, then I can go with you. As long as we’re free at the same time. Hawai’i, Yama! Hawai’i!”

               Yamato actually swung him around the classroom but stopped short when their homeroom teacher gave them a death-glare. Suzuki let go and jumped back.

               “Oops. Sorry, sensei.”

               “You’d better concentrate on passing your exams before talking about Hawai’i,” the teacher warned. “And don’t do that again. You could’ve knocked over the desks.”

               It didn’t bring Suzuki’s mood down at all. He was walking on air. Later, when his and Yama’s managers called about some kind of music industry party, he agreed to go without hesitation. Yamato was a little more reluctant, but he caved when Suzuki said they could go together.

               All in all, life was good. Suzuki still wanted to kiss Yamato. He still wanted to hug him as tightly as possible and tell him how he felt, but he couldn’t bear to mess everything up. Why sabotage a good thing? Yamato clearly only thought of him as a friend.

               And that was fine. Everything was fine.

               Suzuki enjoyed getting dressed up for public appearances. Yamato didn’t. He always looked uncomfortable in suits. Uncomfortable, yet handsome. Suzuki’s heart felt like it was going to leap out of his chest.

               “I hate ties,” Yamato muttered, playing with the end of his.

               “Then don’t wear one,” Suzuki said. He stepped forward and undid the knot. “It’s a formal party, but no one will care. See, I think you look just fine without it. Undo a couple buttons, and voila! Rock superstar Yamato is red carpet ready!”

               Suzuki might have been mistaken, but Yamato appeared flustered. He turned towards the limousine their managers had arranged to drive them to the event and held open the door for Suzuki.

               “After you,” he said.

               It was after sunset and traffic was bad. Suzuki checked the time. Unless they learned how to teleport, they were going to be late. Oh well, in that case they’d make an even more striking entrance. Suzuki stretched out, putting his feet up on the seat. They were barely moving.

               Yamato, meanwhile, was reading something on his phone. Suzuki didn’t know what it was, but it appeared to be irritating him. He kept frowning. Finally,          Yamato tossed the phone into the corner and folded his arms. He huffed, a deep furrow forming between his eyebrows. Suzuki was torn between laughing at his grumpiness and wanting to comfort him.

               “What’s up, Yama-kun?” Suzuki asked.

               “Oh, it’s…” He stopped, turning pink. “It’s stupid.”

               “You did something stupid?” Suzuki knew he sounded a bit too eager, but he couldn’t help it. He was dying to know.

               Yamato rolled his eyes. “Yes, actually.”

               “Are you going to tell me about it or am I going to have to tickle you for information?” Suzuki wiggled his fingers to demonstrate.

               “Don’t!” Yamato pulled his legs up onto the seat, as if to shield himself from Suzuki’s attack. “Jesus, Suzuki we’re in public.”

               “No, we’re not. The windows are tinted and the partition’s up. Now tell me what made you so mad.”

               Yamato relaxed. He retrieved his phone—which was undamaged—and passed it to Suzuki. Suzuki’s eyes widened. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing: an anti-Yamato fansite. For a few seconds, he just stared at it. Then he began to actually process the words he was looking at.

               Yamato’s style totally clashes with Suzuki’s. Don’t know why they’re friends.

               Do u remember when he was talking about how “””fake””” Zuzu is? He said in a press conference that ur not a real artist if u don’t write and produce ur own songs. What a snob. Did he ever apologize for that?

               Suzuki laughed out loud. He glanced at Yamato. “They have a point. Did you ever apologize to me?”

               “It’s not funny.”

               “It is!” Suzuki kept scrolling. “This whole time you were telling me not to pay attention to the haters and you didn’t even follow your own advice. Aww, Yama, don’t feel bad. Wait a minute.”

               There was a new reply to one of the comments by a user named, “st4rpower826.”

               Do you guys ever get tired of talking trash behind the safety of your computer screens? Why don’t you say this stuff to Suzuki’s face and see how he takes it. Last I heard, he and Yamato were still really close. He doesn’t get mad until you insult his friends. If you actually cared about him, you wouldn’t do this.

               It had a bunch of negative replies. Suzuki looked at Yamato again. Yamato was chewing on his lip.

               “Is this you?” Suzuki asked, pointing at the screen.

               “That could be anyone.”

               “It’s you! You made an account!” Suzuki grabbed Yamato’s shoulder and shook it. He was laughing uncontrollably now. “You made an account so you could fight with them! Oh my God. That’s my birthday in your username!”

               Yamato’s ears were growing steadily redder. “You have to make an account to read the message boards,” he muttered. “You know that. Someone was going to come along and tell them off eventually. Might as well be me.”

               “How did you get that username? That’s, like, a prime fandom username. When I went on the anti-Suzuki boards, YamaFan#1 was taken.”

               “No one else spelled with a four for the A.”

               Suzuki was still giggling. He continued scrolling. “How long did you have this?”

               “I went searching for one about me the same night you went on yours. I was curious.” Yamato smiled sheepishly. “I could take all the garbage they spewed about me but when they started throwing you into the mix, I got really upset. So I fought back. Didn’t do much good though.”

               “These people say we’re so different, but we actually have lots in common, huh?”

               “Yeah…”

               “Oh, here’s a familiar one: ‘Suzuki is friends with Yamato for fanservice. Yamato wouldn’t be as popular if people didn’t think he was gay for Suzuki.’ People were saying the same stuff on my anti-site.”

               Yamato’s blush had spread down his neck. “They’re crazy.”

               “I know.” Suzuki turned the screen off. “You shouldn’t get into fights with people online, even if they are being jerks. We know the truth.”

               Yamato nodded. He rubbed the back of his neck. “You know, it was really stupid, but I started to get scared that they might be right. Just for a second. Seeing all that old stuff I said made me wonder if you were still angry with me, and you were pretending not to hate me for the sake of getting along.”

               “I don’t hate you, Yama.” Suzuki kneaded Yamato’s shoulder. “I’ve always thought you were cool, even when you were criticizing me. I could never hate you. Do you wanna know why?”

               “Sure,” Yamato said, his lips quirking into a smile.

               Suzuki kissed him. His heart was pounding a mile a minute, but he had never felt more sure of anything in his life before. The hand on Yamato’s shoulder was steady. When he pulled away, Yamato was staring at him, his eyes huge.

               “It’s because I love you,” Suzuki said. And because he couldn’t help it, he winked.

               The words were barely out of his mouth before Yamato returned the kiss. It took Suzuki by surprise, almost knocking him backward. He managed to hold himself up by catching hold of Yamato’s other shoulder. The realization that Yamato was kissing him sank in about two seconds later. Suzuki’s imagination had been lacking. Actually kissing Yamato was better than anything he could’ve dreamed up.

               Yamato was holding him, one hand braced against the small of Suzuki’s back, the other cupping his chin. His mouth was soft and smooth and warm. Suzuki tasted a hint of lip balm. He leaned into the kiss, following Yamato’s movements. Then, Yamato pulled Suzuki onto his lap. Both hands slid to Suzuki’s hips.

               “Suzuki,” Yamato breathed.

               “What?”

               “I don’t want to go to this party. Do you?”

               Suzuki didn’t have to think about it. “No.”

               He gave Yamato another lingering kiss as he got off his lap, then went to knock on the partition. It rolled down about halfway. Suzuki held up a hand in apology.

               “Sorry,” he said, “but could you take us back to Yamato’s place?”

               The next morning was strange. After they’d been dropped off at Yamato’s house, he and Suzuki had spent the rest of the night watching movies and making out. When they were too tired to keep their eyes open a second longer, Yamato let Suzuki borrow a t-shirt and pair of pajama pants, and they had fallen asleep in his room.

               Suzuki woke up thinking last night had been a dream. He wasn’t surprised by coming to in Yamato’s room. (They had sleepovers all the time.) What reminded him that it was real was feeling the weight of Yamato’s arm around him. Suzuki bit back a fresh fit of giggles. He couldn’t believe it. He had kissed Yamato last night. Yamato had kissed him back.

               Yamato stirred and lifted his head. It seemed to take him a minute as well. Then he smiled. He kissed Suzuki’s cheek. “Good morning,” he said softly.

               “Good morning,” Suzuki repeated. He wondered if they could get away with staying in bed all day. Their phones had been blowing up all night, to the point where they’d set them to silent and left them in the living room.

               Yamato groped for his alarm clock. “It’s almost noon.”

               “My manager is probably going crazy right now because I didn’t show up.” He laughed at that. She was going to kill him later, but there were other things on his mind right now. “Is there anything important going on today?”

               “No. There’s just you.” Yamato nestled himself against Suzuki again.

               “We can stay in today,” Suzuki suggested. “We’ll play video games and make pancakes.”

               “And make out,” Yamato added. He stuck his tongue out and wiggled it around.

               Suzuki slapped his hand over Yamato’s mouth, laughing helplessly. “Gross! Don’t do that. You’re not a member of KISS.”

               Yamato laughed as well. He let go of Suzuki and rolled out of bed. “Come on. I’ll make you pancakes. I bought blueberries.”

The apartment complex was quiet. Everyone was either sleeping in or out. Suzuki helped Yamato get out the mixing bowl and the skillet. There were, in fact, blueberries in the fridge. (Suzuki may have helped himself to a few before putting some in the batter.) Yamato started a pot of coffee, promising Suzuki that he still had the French vanilla creamer he liked.

               While they were waiting to flip the first pancake, Suzuki decided to bring up the question that had been on his mind since he’d gotten out of bed. “So… are we boyfriends now?”

               To his credit, Yamato wasn’t caught off-guard, though he did hesitate. “I don’t know. I want to be,” he said. “Things are different for us.”

               “I’d be fine dating you in secret. Plenty of celebrities do it.”

               “Me too, but I don’t know how long we could keep it up. There’s a lot of stress involved.” Yamato did the flip. It was clean. He passed the spatula to Suzuki. “It would definitely make some of our fans happy.”

               Suzuki grinned. “Maybe that’s how we should justify it to our managers.”

               “Yikes,” Yamato said. “Honestly, I don’t want to think about it right now. I just want to eat and destroy you at Mario Kart again. We can talk about the serious stuff later.”

               “Can’t you go easy on me?” Suzuki whined. “I’m your boyfriend.”

               “What makes you think I’d go easy on you just because we’re dating now? I never let you win when we were friends and that’s not going to change now.”

               “You’re so mean.” Suzuki pulled his eyelid and stuck out his tongue. “Yama-kun’s a bad boyfriend. I’m gonna tell the whole world, so no one will steal you from me.”

               Yamato laughed. He put an arm around Suzuki’s waist and brought him in for a kiss. “No one could steal me from you,” he said when they separated. “I love you.”

               Suzuki put his head on Yamato’s shoulder. Life was good. The world might as well be limited to this small kitchen. To him and Yamato, and no one else. “Love you, too.”

[kaedix]

Mall AU: Obi asks Shirayuki out on a date-date. :3

Thank you for the prompt!

“I'm sorry I won't be able to hang out with you much,” Zen said, holding out the invitation. “But Mitsuhide and Kiki will be there, and they'd love to hang out with you. I really hope you can come.” He smiled so brightly. He was...perfect.

“Thank you so much, Zen,” Shirayuki said, taking the invitation and holding it to her heart. “I'm...so flattered that you would invite me personally.”

“Of course,” Zen said. He stepped back from the counter and waved. “Well, I've got to head out. Izana's got a list a mile long of things for me to do before next Thursday. Let me know if you can make it, okay?”

Shirayuki waved back and watched him leave, replying, “I will, for sure!”

She looked down at the invitation again. Something so classy and carefully crafted felt very out of place in her hands. Especially with the word Gala staring up at her - people like her didn't go to galas.

And Zen. Zen was a nice guy. Such a nice guy. And attractive. So cute. And his eyes - ugh, dreamy. But -

Why did his invitation somehow make Shirayuki feel alone?

She didn't mind going with Mitsuhide and Kiki, but it was likely that they would be going as a couple. As much as Shirayuki loved being a third wheel…

It was Zen she connected to. The one she wanted to talk with, experience a gala with. And with him helping head up the event, talking with sponsors and making appearances with Izana - like Zen had said, Shirayuki doubted she'd see him that much, if at all.

Zen also hadn't even mentioned if Obi was going to be attending. Shirayuki smiled to herself, thinking that a gala is the last place Obi would want to be. Lucky him - Zen had likely given up on asking Obi to go, or possibly never extended the invitation in the first place.

“Ooooo, what's this?”

Yuzuri popped up behind Shirayuki, plucking the invite from her hands.

“Izana Wisteria’s gala?” Yuzuri asked incredulously. “No way. Why do you get invited to all the cool things?”

“Because she's cozy with the second-in-line,” Suzu offered from his seat behind the counter.

“True,” Yuzuri said, and her eyes sparkled. “You're going, right? I'm sure Zen is a perfect gentleman. A date with him would be fun.”

“That's the thing,” Shirayuki said with a sigh. “He just invited me not as his date. As a guest.”

“What? Lame!” Yuzuri pouted. “I mean, that's sweet of him to still invite you, but...like, what?”

“He's kind of helping run the whole thing. I get it.” Shirayuki shrugged. “I'm still just in shock that I've been asked to attend a gala. I'm not complaining.”

Yuzuri smiled knowingly, shaking her head. “That boy better get up his courage and ask you out for real one of these times, or he's going to be sorry.”

By the time she left work that day, Shirayuki had made up her mind about the gala.

She wasn't going to go.

She didn't tell Yuzuri, who, despite Shirayuki's lack of enthusiasm, went on and on about finding a dress and offering to help with hair and makeup and -

Shirayuki felt out of place just thinking about it.

She gripped the invitation as she walked to her car, her heart fallen at the idea of letting Zen down. It seemed like he really wanted her to come. But if he wouldn't be around to see her, would it really matter if she went anyway?

She stopped at her car door and fumbled with her keys for a moment. As she got the door open and turned to slide in, a familiar form coming out of the mall doors caught her eye.

“Obi!” Shirayuki quickly straightened, waving a hand high in the air. Obi heard her immediately, turning his head in surprise. He smiled and waved back, heading in her direction.

“Hello, little miss,” Obi said, drawing a glare from Shirayuki. He winked. “Miss Shirayuki.”

“What are you doing here?” Shirayuki asked. “I thought you were off work today.”

“I am,” Obi replied, gripping his shoulder as he stood. “I had a fitting at the tuxedo place.”

Shirayuki smiled. She couldn't help it. The visual was too much.

“A tuxedo? For what?” she asked.

Obi rolled his eyes and sighed. “Zen’s brother Izana is having some...giant...party thing, and I told Zen I wasn't going because I didn’t have a tux and - well, he wasn't going to take no for an answer.”

“You're going to the gala?” Shirayuki surprised herself with how hopeful she sounded.

“Yeah,” Obi said, an inquisitive look on his face. “How did you hear about it?”

Shirayuki waved the invitation in the air. “Zen just invited me this morning.”

Obi nodded. “Ah. I'm surprised Izana let him bring a date.”

“Oh - no,” Shirayuki said quickly, shaking her head. “It's not a date. He told me he'll pretty much be busy the whole night, but he said I could hang out with Mitsuhide and Kiki. I don't think I'll go, though.”

“Why not?” Obi asked.

“I just - well, it'll probably be like a date for them and, I dunno, they probably don't want me hanging around them the whole night.” Shirayuki shrugged. “And I don't really think I'd be comfortable at some place so fancy, you know?”

Obi laughed. “I do know,” he said. “I wish I wasn't having a tuxedo made for me as we speak, but - this whole thing seems pretty important to Zen. I want to support him if I can.”

Shirayuki smiled. “That's so good of you, Obi. You're such a good friend.”

Obi waved his hand and spoke with a pompous air. “Oh, you know, only the best of friends attend each others’ galas.”

It was Shirayuki's turn to laugh. “Well, I should probably get going,” she said, gesturing to her open car door. “It was a really nice surprise to see you.”

“You too,” Obi agreed.

There was a beat between them. Obi fidgeted. With a somewhat awkward smile, Shirayuki turned back to her car.

“Ah, Shirayuki - !” Obi said suddenly.

Shirayuki turned so fast she was in danger of whiplash. “Yes?” she asked.

“Would - you - want to go to the gala together?” The words tumbled out of Obi’s mouth, and it seemed like they surprised him as much as they were surprising Shirayuki.

“Together?” Shirayuki repeated.

“Yeah,” Obi said. “Like...a date.”

Shirayuki stared at him, her mouth slightly open. She could feel her heart suddenly pounding up into her throat, and she didn't know how to respond, but everything inside of her was screaming one word, over and over -

“Shirayuki…?” Obi asked, after a longer-than-it-should-have-been pause.

“Yes!” Shirayuki blurted out, louder than intended. “Yes, Obi, I'd love to go with you! Thank you so much for asking me!”

Obi laughed - a deep, real laugh. “Thank you for the enthusiasm. It's a real confidence boost.” He visibly relaxed, taking a step back and raising his hand in farewell. “We can talk details tomorrow, sound good?”

“Sounds perfect,” Shirayuki said. “See you later, Obi!”

Shirayuki finally got into her car. The drive home was a blur, but the one thing she did remember was that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't wipe the ridiculous grin off her face the whole way there. 

[zacekova]

Everything’s Fine (Really) chapter 4

First - Next

Shirayuki spent the weekend sleeping in and lounging around her apartment in her pajamas, watching movies and tending her neglected plants. Even poor Gresham, her semi-immortal sansevieria trifasciata was looking a bit withered on the tips of his sturdy leaves.

Come Monday, though, she was forced to explain to her lab partners why she go with for the usual beginning-of-the-week drinks.

“You have a boyfriend?” Yuzuri said, shrieking.

Ryuu cringed over his tray of test tubes and Lata stuck his fingers in his ears, keeping his precarious balance on two chair legs by winding his foot around a table leg.

Shirayuki winced and grabbed Yuzuri’s shoulders, forcing her to stand still. “Calm down, you’re being too loud.”

Suzu braced his arms over his head and groaned to emphasize her point. “My poor ears!”

Yuzuri glanced around taking in everyone’s distress and shuffled her feet, chagrined. “Sorry,” she said, much quieter than before. She rounded back to Shirayuki. “But honestly, you can’t expect me to be calm after dropping something like that. A boyfriend? Really?”

“Fake boyfriend,” Ryuu said, sliding into his chair and reaching for a pipet.

Yuzuri flapped a hand around, waving the comment away. “Yeah, yeah, it’s just a cover. I heard. But it’s still better than no boyfriend, which is the most progress she’s made since we met.”

Shirayuki rolled her eyes. “I don’t have time for a boyfriend, Yuzuri, this job is way too demanding. I barely even went home all last week.”

“You’re just a workaholic,” Yuzuri said. “Kiki has a boyfriend and she does just fine.

“Yeah and they work in the same office! I don’t really think Mitsuhide and Kiki are a good example of what it’s like to try dating someone while working in investigations. Personally, I think it’s impossible.”

“Umm,” Lata said, trailing off, and Shirayuki turned to see him with his hand raised awkwardly above his head. “I have a girlfriend.”

Suzu perked up from his commune with the table, a red spot in the middle of his forehead. “Really? Since when?”

“A few weeks ago,” Lata said, shrugging. “Having Shirayuki around lessened my workload so I’ve been able to leave earlier and start having a personal life again. And I met someone.”

Suzu’s eyebrows climbed into his fringe. “Wait. Does that mean you’re actually happy that she joined the team?”

Lata sputtered, cheeks flaming, and dropped the remaining chair legs to the floor before storming off toward his work station. “I have stuff to do. Important stuff. You brats leave me alone.”

Suzu shook his head and Yuzuri and Shirayuki shared a grin. So the curmudgeon really did have a soft spot for them; Shirayuki had suspected.

“Anyway,” Shirayuki said, still smiling. “Obi’s the informant for our latest investigation, that’s it. There’ve been other informants in previous investigations and I’ve even had to be the primary contact for some of them, so what’s got you so excited about this one?”

“He’s hot!” Yuzuri said.

Figures. It was going to be a long day.

~~~

“Okay, so you’re saying there’s some gangster aesthetic that you have to abide by and that’s why you only drink black coffee?” Shirayuki asked.

Obi smirked. “No, I’m saying that I am a gangster and a total badass and, therefore, what other kind of coffee could I possibly like?”

“Mmhmm,” Shirayuki said, eyes sparkling and pressing her lips tight to try and hold back a laugh.

“Alright, what about you?” Obi asked.

Shirayuki frowned. “What do you mean?”

His gaze swept over her, appraising. “I dunno, Miss, you just don’t seem like the coffee type.”

“I like coffee,” Shirayuki said, but it came out weak. Why did he have to turn this around on her? And what was the big deal anyway? Would anyone really think less of her if she told them the truth? But at this point she’d dug herself too deep, spread the lie to too many people, and it seemed too late to back down now.

Obi’s eyes narrowed. “Oh? So what are you drinking?”

Shirayuki’s eyes widened, wracking her brain for something that would pass scrutiny. “A hazelnut mocha.”

Obi frowned. “Lemme smell it.”

“What? Why?”

“Just lemme smell it,” Obi repeated, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk and reaching over to wrap his fingers around the disposable cup and pulling it toward his face.

Shirayuki said a prayer of thanks that she had asked for the shot of flavoring in the spirit of the season and willed away the blush creeping into her cheeks. Her eyes drawn to the sharp contrast between Obi’s dark complexion and her own pale skin, the pads of his fingers rough on her knuckles.

Obi held the drink under his nose and inhaled, gaze pinning her in place. He hummed. “I don’t really smell any coffee.”

“I asked for extra syrup,” Shirayuki fibbed, hoping she didn’t sound as strangled to him as she did in her own ears. “It kind of drowns out the smell of the espresso.”

Obi hummed again, eyes narrowed for a beat, two beats, and then he huffed, releasing her hand. “Okay, fine. But is it even really coffee anymore with all that flavoring?”

Shirayuki chuckled, making a mental note to take the time to sigh in relief later. “I never would have pegged you of all people as a coffee snob.”

Obi grinned and they started walking again. “Like I said, I have an image to maintain.”

She looked at him skeptically. “Or what, you’ll get kicked out of the gang? Does your boss really care what your Starbucks order is?”

“Who knows…” Obi said, trailing off. He maintained a thoughtful expression almost long enough for Shirayuki to believe him before it cracked and he snickered.

Shirayuki shook her head. “You know, underneath that scary reputation you say you have, I think you’re just a dork.”

He quirked a brow. “What makes you say that?”

She shrugged. “Maybe you’re just good at acting but in all the time I’ve been around you you’ve seem pretty relaxed. Cheerful. And you tease me a lot, too, but it’s never mean.”

Obi tilted his head back to look up at the sky, his smile looking a bit twisted. ��We are supposed to be pretending to be an infatuated couple, Miss.”

“Well yeah. Does that mean you’ve been pretending to be someone else this whole time?” Shirayuki asked.

Obi’s eyes flicked down to hers and back to the sky. “No,” he said, quiet and subdued.

“Well… you don’t have to pretend around me,” Shirayuki said. “I want you to know that.”

Obi looked down at her and raised his brows in question.

She huffed, trying to think of a better way to explain what she meant. “I mean, I know we’re pretending to be a couple, but that doesn’t mean you need to be someone you’re not, that you need to try and fit some image in your head of what, I don’t know, what a couple should look like. I mean, every couple is different because people are different. You can just be you and I’ll be me and we’ll work something out. I’m sure I’ll like you just fine anyway.”  

For the first time since she had met him, Obi’s expression was bare, honest, his slack mouth and the lines of his face matching the emotion in his eyes. He had frozen on the sidewalk staring at her, and Shirayuki stopped and turned to face him. He opened and closed his mouth once or twice, lost for words, before slamming it shut and resuming walking, striding past her with heavy feet and avoiding her gaze.

Shirayuki moved to follow, quickening her steps to keep up with his long legs. Had she made him mad? Did she need to apologize? She hadn’t really said anything that seemed worth apologizing for but she didn’t know Obi all that well yet and his face was giving nothing away.

They walked all the way back to her apartment in silence, Obi’s gaze lost in the distance. Shirayuki stood on the stoop fiddling with her keys, trying to think of something to break the awkward tension between them and coming up blank. “Well, thanks for the coffee. I’ll see you on Friday?”

Obi’s whole body shifted like he was shaking himself back into reality and, finally, he looked down at her and gave her a gentle smile. “Sorry, yeah. Friday.”

Shirayuki nodded. “Okay.” She turned toward the door and almost dropped her drink when Obi’s hand gripped her arm. She raised a brow. “What is it?”

Obi’s eyes widened and he jerked his hand away, releasing her arm like it was on fire. “Sorry! Um.” He palmed the back of his neck. “I just thought we could, you know, exchange phone numbers. To make it easier to contact each other?”

Shirayuki’s heart jumped in her chest. “Oh.”

Obi nodded. “Yeah.”

She let out a breath, fingers clenching around the dying warmth of her cup, the chill of the keyring. “Okay.”

Obi’s eyes brightened. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Shirayuki nodded.

Obi beamed. “Great!” He fumbled around in his pockets for his phone, thumbing at it for a moment before he handed it over with a “new contact” page displayed.

Shirayuki typed in her information and handed it back, telling her fingers the whole time that there was no reason to be shaking so much. He’s just a work contact.

Obi smiled, the edges going shy for the barest of seconds before the confident grin was back in place. “Would it be alright if I text you for more than just work stuff, too, Miss? I like talking to you, you keep up so well with my scathing wit.”

Shirayuki’s lungs seized, stuttering and choking on the dead air she couldn’t release, and all the blood in her body rushed to her face. All she could do was nod, crushing down the excited leap of hope in her chest like it was an unruly child. Behave.

Obi’s grin was bright enough to replace the sun that had chosen to hide behind the clouds all day, all teeth and golden eyes. “Great!” He shoved his phone and his hands in his pockets and leaned forward into Shirayuki’s face, his nose an inch from her own, and her heart stuttered for the third time in as many minutes. “I’ll see you Friday, Miss,” he said, low and rumbling and making her knees weak. “Don’t be late.”

And then he was gone, jogging off with a jaunty wave over his shoulder, and Shirayuki could breathe again. She watched until he disappeared around the corner of the building across the parking lot, grateful for oxygen and the giant list of chores she had mentioned needed doing an hour earlier.

This was fine. She could handle this. It was just some minor attraction to an objectively attractive guy. No big deal.

Her phone chimed and she fished it out of her pocket, opening the message with trembling fingers.

18949278136 my boss hates starbucks wants them all to burn. keep my secret? ;)

A winky face. He used dumb emojis like a teenager and that should have made him less appealing, more obnoxious, but…

Dammit.

Everything was… still fine. Really.

It would have to be.

[bubblesthemonsterartist]

Obi is having a difficult time concentrating on the dance he's supposed to be performing - convinced that he is ill-suited to a dance in center stage as primo, to be anything other than broken and tossed away. Shirayuki, frustrated that he won't give more than a token effort to the steps, takes up the pointer stick of sex and gives Obi a taste of his own medicine, determined to prove to Obi that he is worthy.

Shirayukiextends her arms upward, closes her eyes, and falls back into the broad hands that span her rib cage. Obi grips her a little too hard and she winces as helifts her into the air. Moving just a couple ofbeats too fast, Shirayuki slows her motions upon descending, but Obi drags her to her next movement. 

His motions are stiff and jerky, as if his joints hadrusted over somewhere in between La Bayadère and Giselle, and it makes her fall over her own feet. He catches her, tries to steer her into the correct pose, but-

“Stop.”She places her hands on top of his. “Stop. We need to take a break.”

He stills, the song continuing to play around them. His hands slowly slide out from under hers and she watches the way his throat works, how his eyes won’t meet hers. 

“Is there a problem?”

Shebreaks away, crossing towards the water cooler. “Just need a drink, is all,” shesays, smiling over her shoulder.

Heraises an eyebrow. “So you stopped us mid-dance?”

Waterbubbles rise to the surface as she fills her cup. She lowers her head and her voice. “You’re timing is off.”

Inthe mirror, he squares his shoulders. “How bad?”

Shehums. “Not as bad as I was with the fuescene, but,” she takes a sip, “it needs improvement.”

Hislips quirk to the side. “Next time just say ‘really bad’.”

Hereyes slip away from his. “We’ll just have to dig a little deeper,” she mimicsand he makes a noise at her as she fills up another cup. Laughing, she hands him a drink. “We have time.”

Hesighs, scratching the back of his head, and takes it from her. “I hardlybelieve the audience will believe I am worth redeeming,” he laughs. “More likea they’ll want you to let the Willis dance me to death.”

Sheexhales out her nose. “Why are you being like this?”

Hegrins down at her, but the skin around his eyes are pulled tight. She wonderswhy he thinks he can hide when he looks at her like that. “Like what, Mademoiselle?I was just offering an alternate ending, giving Albrecht the send off hedeserves. If I can’t manage the right note, maybe Maestro will be open to a newinterpretation.”

Shethrows her cup in the garbage. “You’ll manage the right note. I’ll help you likeyou helped me.”

“Asyou say.”

Shirayuki’slips press tight and she huffs, eyeballing the storage room door. 

“Justa minute,” she says, turning away. “I have just the thing.”

Thestorage room is colder by several degrees and she rubs her arms, perking whenshe sees the thick rounded block of wood nestled against the yardsticks in the corner. Herhand lingers over worn handle before sliding past. With his height compared tohers, she grabs the one with the longer reach.

Whenshe emerges with a smile on her face and a yard stick in her hand, Obistraightens, spine ramrod straight. His mouth spreads in a thin smile.“What are you going to do with that?”

“Ithought you needed alternate motivation.” Shirayuki comes up to him slowly, taps him once against the thigh. His whole body flinches.

Shefrowns, but he’s still smiling, circling out of her reach.

“Obi?”

Thelaugh that comes out of him is high pitched, nervous, and bordering on hysterical.“Mademoiselle,” he coughs, body hunching down to hide more of himself,rearranging his back towards the wall. “You don’t plan on being too harsh withme, do you?”

Something is… off. Shetilts her head. “Do you want me to be harsh with you?”

Hissmile twitches, too distorted to even be pretend anymore. “Now, now,” helaughs, holding up his hands. “I’m very fragile.”

Shirayukilowers the yardstick, and his eyes follow it like it’s a venomous snake. Her hands flex around it, the sharp metal edge digging into her palm and it’s thatslight sting, the way that it fits against the skin of her memory, the way thewidth of that pain matches those thin lines against his back and arms. She knows them well enough, the way they slide under her hands when he’s over her, inside her, and it makes her pull up short,makes her remember his voice when he told her that first lesson that he doesn’t hit.

Hispupils are mere pinpricks, breath caught shallow in his chest and- and it’s there, thepanic about small things she doesn’t understand - not as violent as when a tireblows out on the street at night or when the city lights up with fireworks, but it is still there.

Shirayukikneels, laying the yardstick on the floor and slowly coming back to standing.He watches as she rests her foot on top of it and then pushes, sliding it across the floor.Somewhere behind her, it thuds gently against a wall.

“Obi,”she says softly, closing the distance. “You know I wouldn’t hurt you, right?”

Obilicks his lips, eyes locked towards where she assumes the objectlay. “Yea,” he breathes. “Yea, I know.”

She doesn’t touch him. “Obi-”

“Ijust remembered,” his eyes snap back to hers, every line of his body tense.“Maestro needed to talk to me before the end of the day. I’m going to go catch himbefore he goes home.”

She’snever seen him move so fast. He’s always halfway across the room before she’sdone turning on her heel. “Wait-”

“I’llsee you tomorrow,”  he calls.

Thedoor clicks shut behind him before she can stop him.

~~ ~

“Obi?”Suzu scratches his head. “I thought he already left.”

Shirayukisucks her lips between her teeth, staring at the front door as if it hadpersonally let her down. “When?”

“Abouttwenty minutes ago. Right after you called back that Studio A was vacant and-” he pauses, rubbing his face. “That’s not important. Um. Look, it’s none of my business, but... is he okay?”

Shedoesn’t look away from the door. “You’ve noticed it too.”

“Yea.At first I thought it was me, but-”

“Metoo,” she says softly. “But it’s not.”

“Thenwhat is it?”

Shirayukibites her tongue. She wasn’t sure if it was for her to say the way he slowed every time they passed a television display on the streets, or that he poured over the international section of three separate newspaper in themorning. Nor was it Suzu’s business to hear the way that Obi had been waking her in the night like a desperate man, drowning her in open mouthed kisses and grasping hands, robbing her of thought until well past sunrise.

“It’sthe news,” she admits finally, because that seems safe. “He won’t stop reading thepapers.”

“Why?”

Shepauses, the memory of a paper left open on abyline regarding a land dispute between China and the Soviet Union north of theKorean peninsula still as fresh as the coffee he abandoned while he was reading it.

“Areyou going over to our place tonight?” she asks suddenly.

Suzublinks. “Yea. I was planning on it.”

Shirayukiswings her purse over her shoulder. “Tell Yuzuri to not wait up for me.”

~~ ~

Theapartment is dark when the door swings open, Obi’s body bathed only with thedim light of the hallway. The plastic bags are heavy in her hands.

“Hey.”

“Hey,”he says, shifting.

Sheholds up the plastic bags. “I brought beer and chicken?”

Hisface is unreadable and for one single, terrifying second, she is worried heis going to send her home. That he’ll run. That she’ll close himself off even more.

“Comeon in,” he says instead, taking the bags and turning his back on her. “I don’t know why you didn’tjust use your key. That’s why I gave it to you.”

Shefollows, watching him set the food on his new kitchen table, watching how he immediately grabs for a beer. 

“You left without sayinggoodbye,” she says, eyes following the lines of his bare back, crisscrossedwith marks and knowledge. “I thought it would be rude for me to just come in.”

Hedigs through his kitchen drawers, pulling out a beer bottle opener, and saysnothing.

“Obi,”she says, earnest. “I’m sorry. I don’t know exactly what I did, but I’m sorry.”

Heexhales slowly, bracing his hands against the counter. His face is in shadows,eyes locked on the screen of his television stuck on the news in the otherroom. She gets the feeling he isn’t even really looking at it.

“Areyou going to tell me what’s wrong?”

Hedraws himself up to his full height, still so familiar but he might as well beanother person for how much a strangers his voice seems. “Don’t act like you’venever heard what the Russian Ballet is like,” he says, popping the cap of the bottle. The metal tab clinks against the countertop.

Sheswallows hard, her arms tense. “But I’ve never heard it from you.”

“Doyou need to?”

Sheflinches, shame roiling in her gut.

Hiseyes are still locked on the screen in the other room.

“Whatam I, Shirayuki?” he asks softly. “It seems like even the governments can’tcome to an agreement.” His chin nods towards the television, playing recordingsof tanks and soldiers with rifles. “Why should I expect Ballet Masters totreat me like one of their own when even the map makers don’t know?”

Her heart breaks. “You’reObi.”

“Obi?”His laugh is dry. “Obi’s just a name that will be forgotten in a single season.”

“That’s not true. You know it’s not.”

He takes another drink. “You read the reviews. Stunt-casting. That’s all we- all I am. Just something of interest to draw attention to Maestro’s company before they switch back to traditional ballet.”

She shakes her head. “What about Izana tells you for a moment he wants traditional?”

The bottle hits the counter so hard foam starts to pour from it’s neck. She roots herself to the ground to not flinch back, and she can see every muscle in his back strained into stillness. “What about him says he can sell me as the primo in Cinderella? In Sleeping Beauty?” His voice is gravel. “They don’t even know what to call me in the papers. Korean? Russian? Chinese? Man-chu-kou?”

Shedraws in a sharp breath, an ugly knot gnarled in her chest. “It doesn’t matter. You’re my Obi,” she repeats, taking firm stepsforward. “And I think your name alone would sell out the theater. Anyone who says otherwise isn’t worth the air they’re stealing from the rest of us.” 

His jaw works, staring hard at the puddle pooling on the countertop.

Shereaches out, taking his wrist in her hand. Her thumb runs across the jut of bone. “You don’t need to worry,” she whispers, then smiles, wry. “Not more than any other dancer with a contract.”

His face twists, eyes screwing shut and she takes a chance. She moves closer.

“You can keep what makes you this angry to yourself if you want. If you tell me or if you don’t tell me - it doesn’t change my place at your side. But please,” she takes a deep breath, daring to touch his cheek, to force him to turn back to her. “Please just tell me how to nothurt you like this again. Is that too much?” 

Obistares at her, the aggression slapped so cleanly off his face all that is left is a deep, impenetrable sorrow. Then it is gone; he turns back, staring at the soft glow of the television.

“Isuppose not.”

[momorabu]

24.02.2018

Viidog Code Event Story - ショコラ.コンテスト / Chocolate.Contest

Though it’s pretty late for a week plus, happy Valentine’s Day~! As planned, this is Viidog Code’s Valentine’s Day story for the month of February, filled with many love and chocolates XD

As always, the summary of the story can be found below. Translation may not be 100% accurate due to my poor Japanese skills~

Chapter 1: 心を込めた...... / To put one’s heart into it......

The story started off with "me" accompanying Kuki after "my" work. Even though he remarked that he felt bad for "me", he was glad that "I've" wanted to do that to help him as a junior. We talked about the work we're working on today, which was looking for a missing cat. The cat was really obedient, which made our job easy and thus we were able to finish it earlier than expected. Kuki remarked that it seems that our work recently was all about looking for lost pets, and hoped that there's more work that's suitable for Class 7 heading our way instead since looking for lost pets was more towards Class 2's style of working. 

Even though Kuki felt that it meant that the town was peaceful when there's no request, he wondered whether there won't be anything happening from now on. That would be a problem for Shiro, Tsubasa and "me", who still require many experiences in order to become a good detective. (Apparently, Kuki is already considered one with many years of experiences ^^:) Kuki had asked "me" to consider in becoming an official detective rather than just an assistant, telling "me" that "I" should be more confident of "my" skills and even encouraged "me" that he would accompanying "me" in finding out the answer on who do "I" want to be along the way~ (Thank you Kuki ^////^)

Suddenly, Kuki caught a whiff of scent in the air and realised that it was the scent of chocolate coming from the shopping streets. But apparently "I" can't smell that scent since my sense of smell is not as good as Kuki who was a Kenrouzoku ^^; (Kuki had completely forgotten that "I'm" not a Kenrouzoku, remarking that he had already mistaken "I" was one because my actions recently seems to resemble one... =w=" Really? o.O)

We decided to head to the shopping streets to find out more about the scent. Turns out that there was Valentine's fair being held over there now that Valentine's was soon approaching. (Kuki felt painful being reminded he's single when he saw that there're couples all around him ^^; )

Just then he noticed a pamphlet promoting an upcoming Valentine's contest. It sounds like an interesting contest as it was about making chocolate, and since "I" could cook, Kuki encouraged "me" to join, saying that "I" might end up winning if "I" joined the contest. He had thought that "I" would reject the idea as usually "I" didn't like to be in the limelight, but this time, however, "I" was all pumped up and excited to join, which made Kuki remarked that that was rare to see this reaction from "me". Kuki was happy for "me" nevertheless hearing that "I" actually wanted to join the contest on "my" own ^^

Reading up more on Valentine's contest,  we realised that the chocolate would be eaten and judged by the judges where one of the key points for judging would be the appearance of the chocolates. Kuki got pretty pumped up too in the end, telling "me" that since "I've" decided to join to contest, we should aim to win it!  (Turns out the Kuki was feeling quite bored as he was free recently, and thus he started to get excited about the contest as well ^^;) 

(So sweet that Kuki had offered to help "me" with the contest, and said that we would think of ideas together ^^ Thank you Kuki~)

Kuki mentioned that the Suzu-kun had made chocolates for the agency members during last year's Valentine's, and those chocolates were greatly praised for having a perfect appearance and taste. (But most of that chocolate ended up being taken over by Naoto... I guess he really doesn't like anybody else eating Suzu-kun's chocolate =w=")

Chapter 2: 甘~いサポート大作戰 / The Big Sweet~ Support Plan

The next morning, both Shiro and Tsubasa were called over by Kuki. As Shiro seems to be quite sleepy,  Tsubasa laughed as he asked him whether he had stayed up late to play games instead. He mentioned that Kuki had bought a game yesterday and asked Tsubasa to play together but Shiro said that he's only here to listen to Kuki on whether there are any new jobs for them. If there are no jobs, he'll return to his room. (Aww why don't you want to play with Tsubasa? TWT)

Suzu-kun joined them, which made Shiro wondered what was the matter Kuki was about to discuss with them. When Kuki finally made his appearance, Shiro scolded him that he was late, but Kuki replied back that he was on time and it was just the rest of them who were early XD Tsubasa was surprised that "I" wasn't coming, since he had expected that this meeting was something to do with Class 7 and Suzu-kun. (Why does it seem like Tsubasa is disappointed ^^;)

Kuki gave a weak smile and answered that the reason why they had gathered here together was to discuss a matter that was related to "me".  Shiro had wanted to leave once he realised that this meeting has nothing to do with work, but the others persuaded him to stay in the end. Kuki took out the pamphlet regarding the Valentine's Contest, which Suzu-kun had known about it. Naoto had suggested Suzu-kun participate in the contest, but unfortunately, there's work that Suzu-kun had to do on that day and thus he won't be able to make it for the contest.  (That was a good news for Kuki though, as he remarked that it's even better to have one less strong competitor XD)

Kuki announced to the others that "I" would be participating in the contest, which Shiro had initially thought that Kuki had forced "me" to participate saying that it's a good learning opportunity. But Kuki corrected him and informed them that "I" had decided to join the contest on "my" own this time, and suggested that they should try their best to support "me" since it was considered a rare opportunity for "me". 

Since Suzu-kun wasn't participating in the contest, Kuki wanted him to teach "me" about decorating and wrapping the chocolate, which the latter agreed immediately as he wanted to repay "me" for all the help "I've" given him when he was cooking in the past. The rest of Class 7 shall become "my" backup and assistant instead. (Tsubasa was abit too happy to help, even stating that he'll be a good runner for "my" sake ^^;)

Shiro voiced out that he had never agreed to help with the contest, and said that he's just going to stay here in the agency on standby until a job arrives. Suzu-kun tempted Shiro by asking him whether he wanted to help him taste the special hamburger which Suzu-kun had made, and in exchange Shiro would have to lend his help instead XD Since Shiro really likes hamburger very much, he agreed to help in the end ^^;

Kuki reminded them once again that though he's glad that they've all agreed to help,  it's not a must that they have to help all the time since ultimately their job as a detective was more important and should be given the priority when any work has arrived. He had wanted to help "me" even more when "I" told him that "I" wanted to try doing things on "my" own, and thus told the others that they should try to in ways that they can. This operation was then named as "Sweet~ Support Challenge"~!  But what Class 7 can do was helping with the shopping and to taste the chocolate actually, as they're not like Suzu-kun who was good at cooking. 

(Tsubasa felt happy thinking that he'll be able to eat a lot of chocolates made by "me"... Tsubasa, you just want to eat "my" chocolates, don't you? =w=")

Chapter 3: チョコの種類 / Types of Chocolate 

Suzu-kun and Shiro accompanied “me” on a shopping trip after that, and along the way, Suzu-kun asked “me” whether “I” was able to imagine what kind of chocolate “I” want to make for the contest. After explaining to him, he understood about “my” idea, advising “me” that “I” could make chocolates of different shapes using the moulds, and could also make beautiful decorations for them. He encouraged “me” that since “I” have a pair of good eyes, “I’ll” definitely be able to make chocolates that not only look nice, but taste delicious as well, and that “I” would definitely be able to win the contest. (Suzu-kun, you’re giving way too many compliments >////<)

We reached a shop, Shiro told us to head inside instead and that he’ll just wait for us here instead. Inside the shop, Suzu-kun remarked that Shiro was really someone who takes care of people well~ Even though it seems like he’s being forced to accompany us on this shopping trip, Suzu-kun told me that he sensed that Shiro just didn’t want to leave “me” abandoned and unattended somehow ^^ Suzu-kun seems to know this feeling very well based on his experience of talking with Naoto, who always seems to be not interested in anything at all usually. (Other than Suzu-kun that is ^^:) He mentioned that Naoto had played basketball with Tsubasa recently, and though he’s not interested and was just accompanying him initially, Naoto soon started sweating and taking the basketball match more seriously towards the end.  

We picked up the ingredients that we need, and since they’re just for practice sake, we decided to get three types of chocolates - Mik, bitter and white chocolates. We also decided to get all of the cooking utensils, and Suzu-kun asked “me” whether the new spatula he had seen in the kitchen was bought by “me”. But “I” didn’t know about it either, thus Suzu-kun wondered who was the one who had bought it. (Hmm... This would be a mystery “I” guess... )

After we’ve done our shopping, Suzu-kun realised that perhaps we had bought too much stuff, and decided to go get Shiro to help us with carrying all the groceries. 

(Shiro is actually really sweet when he asked to carry even the bags in the “my” hand, saying that this was why he had accompanied “me” on the shopping trip. Thank you Shiro... >/////<)

Suzu-kun asked Shiro whether he likes chocolate or not but turns out that he was neutral about them, though he felt that chocolates and Valentine’s were all boring to him. Suzu-kun wanted to REALLY know Shiro’s preference for chocolates though and started asking him questions whether milk chocolates or white chocolates are tastier to him. Shiro answered milk chocolate, but that was only because he had not tasted white chocolate before... Thus we offered him to eat white chocolate straight away XD Though initially Shiro said that he doesn’t need to, he realised that we had already opened the chocolate anyway and decided to eat it in the end if not it’ll be a waste XD

Suzu-kun decided to head to another shop before returning, and somehow Shiro was alright with it, telling “me” that as long as “I” want to go, he’ll just follow since he’s just accompanying “me” to take all the shopping bags. (Shiro seems like the best guy ever for helping with shopping T//////T)

 On our way back, Suzu-kun mentioned that there seem to be people among the judges who don’t like sweet stuff, and thus felt that it would be best to make chocolates that were delicious, but not too sweet to suit their tastes. 

Just then we came across a stall that sells Taiyaki at the park, where Suzu-kun went and bought a white chocolate flavoured Taiyaki to Shiro’s shock OWO” Suzu-kun explained that such food is created so that people who dislike white chocolate usually would find it easier and delicious to eat. He was good at inventing such ways of eating since it was an always a hard battle for him to make food that has something which Naoto dislikes to eat in it XD

Chapter 4: おいしいひととき / Delicious Moments

In the morning, Tsubasa woke "me" up. "I" had fallen asleep at the kitchen the earlier night, and since no one had come to woke "me" up until now, Tsubasa guessed that "I" must be working hard till really late into the night. He offered "me" some hot cocoa, saying that "I" must be feeling cold now since "I've" slept here for the night. Even though Tsubasa was impressed that "I'm" working hard for the contest, he also advised "me" to take care of "my" body, as everything would be a waste if "I've" gotten sick in the end. 

He realised that "I" had a kept a copy of notes that were used for researching chocolate, and asked to take a look at it. After realising that "I" had not decided what chocolate "I" should make for the contest, Tsubasa offered to think together, even though he admitted that he doesn't really know much about beautiful chocolate~ (Of course you can Tsubasa ^/////^)

"I" drank a sip of the cocoa and remarked that it tasted different than usual. This was then Tsubasa realised that he had added some chocolate to it as he thought that it can be something "I" could reference from. As cocoa is really sweet, Tsubasa thought that adding some bitter chocolate might fit well together. He wondered perhaps he had done something unneeded... (Aww it's okay Tsubasa.... *pats*)

Tsubasa told "me" that everyone had been talking about how "I" seem to be more pumped up than usual this time and wanted to ask why "I" had wanted to work so hard this time. As Tsubasa wasn't able to accompany "me" on "my" shopping trip yesterday, he wanted to help "me" out a lot today and asked whether he'll be able to offer any assistance. He suddenly remembered passing by a cafe that could be of help to "me" during his work yesterday and asked "me" whether "I" wanted to take a look at it today. (Is... is Tsubasa asking "me" out on a date? O////O) The two of us agreed to share our food since that would mean that we get to eat a lot more variety of chocolates. 

Over at the cafe, Tsubasa was looking through the menu and remarked that there's alot of chocolates to choose from. He pondered on what to choose and as there aren't any photos on the menu, he doesn't know what the name of the chocolate refers to. Tsubasa admitted that he had zero knowledge of chocolate even though he's great at eating them XD, and decided that he'll let "me" decide on which chocolate to order instead. 

We ended up ordering a whole table of chocolates, but "I" only took a little of everything. Turns out that "I" didn't want to eat too much since "I'm" afraid that "I'll" get fat. And thus Tsubasa told "me" to let him handle the eating as he can easily use up the calories from eating chocolate on playing basketball instead~

Tsubasa realised that one of the chocolates had alcohol in it, and remarked that there might be people who're allergic to alcohol or not used to it overall and thus alcoholic chocolate isn't recommended to be made for the contest. He admitted that though he was alright with drink alcohol (this is the part when I realised that Tsubasa is an adult after all ^^;), he isn't really good at eating alcoholic chocolate. (Kuki on the other hand, was a fan of alcoholic chocolate XD)

Upon realising that "I" aimed to make chocolates for people who aren't interested in sweet stuff, Tsubasa remarked that that must be difficult. He was worried that he may not be of help to "me" but when he knew that "I" was thankful towards him in bringing "me" to such a wonderful cafe, Tsubasa heaved a sigh of relief~

Chapter 5: みんなで作るチョコレート / The Chocolate Made By Everyone 

The next day, as what we’ve planned earlier on, Kuki and the rest would be helping “me” to make the first batch of chocolates for testing. “I” was worried when “I” didn’t see Shiro in the kitchen, but Kuki assured “me” not to worry since Shiro was just right outside the door looking over “me” in the shadow. Suzu-kun asked Shiro to stop hiding there and joined us, encouraging him that we need people who don’t have an interest in sweets as a person in giving advice, as Suzu-kun, Tsubasa and Kuki all have a sweet tooth. 

As Shiro unwillingly joined us, Kuki started giving out instructions on what everyone should do. Suzu-kun would be acting as “my” support, and Tsubasa would help to take anything that’s high up on the shelf, washing the utensils and also helping in retrieving anything nearby in the kitchen. (Tsubasa sounds busy ><”) Kuki and Shiro would be in charge of thinking about the recipe instead.

Tsubasa set off in retrieving all the utensils required, but in the midst of it, he tripped and bumped into “me”. (And that’s how we got this CG~ ^^)

He was worried and asked whether Suzu-kun and “me” are hit by the utensils when he fell onto us. Suzu-kun assured him that we’re alright, and in fact complimented Tsubasa for having quick reflexes as he had managed to catch hold of all the utensils before they even fell onto the floor. Tsubasa apologised for tripping and thanked “me” for comforting him ^^

As we continued in making the chocolates, Suzu-kun asked Tsubasa to help us by taking out the fruits from the fridge and laying it out to be used as decorations. When Tsubasa was done with his task, Suzu-kun came over to see what fruits he had put out on the table. Turns out there’s melon and... avocado? Suzu-kun remarked that he had read something on a foreign website that chocolate might goes well with avocado, and decided to give it a try in the end.

Kuki came over and complimented Tsubasa in doing a good job as an assistant. However, he looked at Shiro and complained that Shiro isn’t doing his task seriously at all, since in the meantime, Shiro had not given even an idea at all. Kuki had said, they require feedback from people who aren’t interested in sweet stuff, and thus it’s useless if Kuki thinks and give only his feedback. Reluctantly, Shiro started to think about what chocolates he might likes, and suggested white chocolate. Kuki remarked that white chocolates sound like a choice a guy would make when trying to pick up someone, and commented that guys should like milk chocolate instead. Shiro was pissed as he rebutted that he doesn’t understand why choosing white chocolate would mean that the guy was trying to pick up on the other party. (I don’t understand either ^^;) Kuki did apologise to Shiro in the end though XD

As the chocolates were done, Tsubasa was excited to try it, but Kuki stopped him and told him that he’s not the person suitable to taste the chocolate. Instead, he turned to Shiro and asked him to taste the chocolates instead, as Shiro was free and also someone who was not interested in chocolates much. (Lucky Shiro~! +W+)

Chapter 6: 試食会開催 / Opening of Food Testing

We also called Kotetsu and Kotaro to the living room, and after realising that they’re being treated to chocolates (which to them was considered really sweet stuff), Kotetsu asked whether “I’m” participating in Valentine’s Day contest. As “I” already have the guys from Class 7 to help “me” in the shopping, Kotetsu felt that he could not do much other than offering “me” moral support instead. Shiki came to the living room as he was being called, and upon seeing all of us gathering there, he had a bad premonition and wanted to leave XD Kuki quickly stopped him and explained that he needed them to help “me” to taste these chocolates and give feedback on them. He further on explained that these chocolates were what “I’ve” practised making today for the chocolate contest, which “I’ll” be participating. 

Shiki excused himself once again, stating that he’s the type of person who doesn’t eat chocolates at all, and said that chocolates are not good for dogs. Kuki gave a weak smile and told him that even if chocolates are not good for dogs, it doesn’t affect them being Kenrouzoku anyway ^^; After realising that Shiki doesn’t budge at all, Kuki turned to “me and told “me that unfortunately, Shiki doesn’t want to eat the chocolates made by “me” at all. This was then Shiki realised that “I” was in the room. He asked “me” not to hide over there and come out instead, and when he saw “my” disappointed expression, Shiki said that even if he doesn’t eat, there’s still Kotetsu and Kotarou who would help to taste the chocolates. Kotetsu and Kotarou agreed to the taste testing, though they warned that they can’t eat too much of the chocolates as they aren’t good for them.

Kuki explained that the theme of the chocolates made by “me” this time was for people who are not interested in eating sweet stuff and that the chocolates should make them want to eat them instead. In the end, Shiki also joined in for the taste testing, though he clarified that it wasn’t because h wanted to eat them, but because he felt that it would be fruitless trying to reject from doing it as Kuki was being too bothersome to him ^^: 

As the guys crowded around the chocolates, Kotetsu wondered if the chocolates were made by “me”, as he remarked that chocolates were made in the shape of oranges. Kuki was surprised that they did not know about chocolate fondue and wondered perhaps this was actually the normal reactions from people who aren’t interested in sweet treats at all. He explained what a chocolate fondue is and its toppings to the guys, and as the guys tried it out, they were surprised to find that the fruits match really well with the chocolate from the fondue~! 

Kuki next took out some rainbow chocolates, and like the name, these chocolates have seven colours on them, though the food colouring was safe to be eaten. Kuki was furious with Shiki, as he hasn’t given any feedback since just now when he tasting the chocolates. Turns out that the guys didn’t give much helpful feedback this time round, which made Kuki worried as he asked “me” what we should do now. Even though he didn’t give much feedback this time, Kotetsu offered to think more about chocolates so that he could provide some help later on. (Thanks Kotetsu~ OMG suddenly he seems so nice to the heroine now >////<)

Chapter 7: 延長戰 / Extended Challenge 

As we retreated back to the kitchen where Tsubasa and the others were located, Kuki told them that the chocolate tasting was harsh, but overall it was a good chance to learn about the different tastes of the guys. Even though the guys admitted that they were not interested in the chocolates, they still offered to help “me” out for the contest, to which Kuki remarked that they probably just want to support “me” very much. (Thank you guys T////T) 

Kuki cheered up and told “me” that it’s time for a revenge! As there were still time before the contest, Kuki told us that we had to put our heads together to think of another chocolate we could make to appeal to the judges. Tsubasa told “me” that there would probably be alot for “me” to improve on for the recipe so he would help by eating lots of chocolates and giving lots of feedback! XD (Tsubasa seems like he just want to eat the chocolates XD)

Tsubasa informed us that Shiro was thinking very hard about the recipe while Kiki and “I” were away carrying out the chocolate tasting in the other room, and Kuki told “me” that it seems like Shiro had something that he wanted to give it to “me”. That made Shiro abit flustered as he remarked that the two of them were making the atmosphere awkward for him ^^; He handed “me” a pile of notes, which Kuki peeked at and remarked that he had written a lot, and urged Shiro to explain what great ideas he had thought up to us. (I bet Kuki is just doing this to tease Shiro on purpose XD)

Kuki explained that his reason for getting Tsubasa and Shiro involved was also to train them to be an independent detective, and this training could always be done as part of their daily life. For example, they could climb the stairs when going shopping to build up their stamina~ And thus, Kuki felt that this could a training for them as a detective by helping “me” to make chocolates, to which Tsubasa guessed that perhaps Kuki was helping them to cultivate teamwork with one another. 

Shiro persuaded himself that what he’s going to do now was a training for him to explain the plan he had thought of with his team members, and thus started explaining the ideas he had thought for the chocolates. Kuki was impressed by his ideas, and complimented him, remarking that this had totally changed his impression of Shiro~ (Is that meant to be a compliment? ^^;) Tsubasa also praised Shiro too, though he suggested that perhaps we should just choose two of the ideas in order to reduce duplicates with other contestants. Kuki wanted to get Suzu-kun to help us, but he was gone as he was being called by Naoto to the lab just now. In the end, we decided to add in nuts to the chocolates and to use bitter chocolate which had a high amount of cocoa, since that type of chocolates would make people who were not interested in chocolates felt easier to eat them. 

Kuki told Shiro whether he felt good that the ideas he had thought of was being chosen in the end, and told him to remember this feeling for the future~ He complimented that Shiro had worked hard in thinking up an idea, but Shiro said that he’s not the one who had worked hard, referring to “me” instead being the person who had worked really hard for the contest. 

With the remaining ingredients, Kuki suggested that we make another batch of chocolates for taste testing. Tsubasa informed us that he had already washed all the utensils when waiting for us in the meantime so “I” could always start straight away~ (Tsubasa is efficient... OWO”) He felt glad as he remarked that he would be able to eat lots of chocolates made by “me” this year~ (I really think Tsubasa just really likes and wants to eat “my” chocolates XDD)

Chapter 8: ���士の休息 / Warrior’s Break time

Later on, Suzu-kun returned and asked “me” if “I” wanted to use to use this mould, offering “me” one with beautiful shapes. But... he realised that “I” had fallen asleep in the kitchen. He remarked that “I” was sleeping really soundly that he can’t wake “me” up at all, and laughed when he realised that “I” had chocolates stain on “my” face too. Suzu-kun noticed the chocolate note on the table and decided to flip through it, commenting to himself as he read through how “I” tried to shave time off in the process as the contest had quite a short limited time to make the chocolates.  He was impressed by Kuki’s observations since even though the latter had never made any chocolates, his thoughts and observations were at a professional’s level. Suzu-kun laughed to himself and remarked that the chocolate recipe made by us was really interesting, and made him felt that he was reading a report actually. 

Suzu-kun thought to himself that he could already imagine how Class 7 were in passionate discussion just by looking at the notes written by us. It made him wanted to make chocolates with Naoto and Hinamori but felt that perhaps that would be too difficult. Suzu-kun wondered why “I” was working so hard for the contest, as he knew that “I” was really putting “my” heart in making the chocolates, he guessed that perhaps “I” was actually making the chocolates for someone... He tried to guess who could that “someone” is, but felt that “I” would be the one who would put in “my” heart for everyone’s sake instead ^^; (What can I say, I just love everyone? >////<) 

Just then, Shiki entered the kitchen grumbling he was hungry and asked Suzu-kun to cook some meat for him. Suzu-kun asked him to keep it down as “I” was asleep, which surprised Shiki as he wondered why “I” was sleeping here. “I” started sleep-talking suddenly, and Shiki wondered perhaps “I” was still making chocolates in “my” dream. The sleep-talking soon stopped, and Shiki continues remarking that “I” seems to look really satisfied in “my” dream as he looked at “my” sleeping expression. 

Shiki commented that “I” had made chocolates every day and chased him down to do some chocolate testing. He asked Suzu-kun whether it was that troublesome to make chocolates actually, to which he replied that even though the process of making chocolates isn’t that hard, it seems that “I” put in alot of “my” heart in the chocolates “I’ve” made for the contest, and Suzu-kun wondered that perhaps the contest was the reason why “I” was working so hard. 

(Turns out that we had also bought a lot of wrapping paper... that Shiki remarked that they had stacked together high up like a mountain.... ^^;)

Shiki smiled as he said that “I” had even accepted his feedback seriously, complimenting “me” that “I’m” really someone who had good manners. Suzu-kun replied that this was because the feedback of people who aren’t fond of chocolates was precious feedback to “me” ^^

Just then, Shiro appeared in the kitchen too, and Suzu-kun wondered perhaps Shiro was being lured here by the smell of his cooking~ (Since he was preparing food for Shiki anyway XD) Shiro replied that he was actually looking for “me” instead, and was surprised to find “me” asleep here, commenting that he had heard from Tsubasa that “I” had also fallen asleep here yesterday night. He told Suzu-kun to wake “me” up later on to let “me” sleep in “my” room before leaving the kitchen. Even though Shiro had wanted to find “me” to talk about work-related matters, he decided to talk to “me” about it tomorrow instead since “I’ve” already fallen asleep. (Shiro is actually being nice not to wake “me” up? OWO”)

Chapter 9: コンテスト開催 / The Start of the Contest

It was finally the day of the contest. Kuki brought “me” to the contest venue and was amazed to see that not only that the contest venue was huge, there’s alot of contestants too. “I” began to get nervous, to which Shiro dissed “me” that how am “I” going to continue if “I’ve” already gotten nervous in the beginning. Tsubasa informed “me” that the announcer had just called all the contestants to head towards the kitchen, and before “I” head towards there, Kuki encouraged “me” to have more confidence in myself and aim for victory. Class 7 would be seeing over “me” and supporting “me” over at the spectators' seats instead. 

(Shiro’s way of encouraging is... to urge “me” to head towards the kitchen quickly before “I” get disqualified? XD Tsubasa had to ask him to give more encouraging words instead XD)

As “I” left the guys and head towards the kitchen, Tsubasa remarked that “I” seems to be very nervous and he’s getting abit worried about “me”. (Aww~ >///<) Kuki also started to get nervous too and decided to calm himself down by looking through the pamphlet and double checking on the contest rules instead. The contest requested the contestants to make three different chocolates, and to miss out on anyone would be disastrous, so this is a very important key point of the competition. Since there’s nothing much the guys could do now, Kuki asked them to support “me” and started cheering for “me”.

However, they noticed that “I” seems to be behaving weirdly in the midst of the competition. Kuki suspected that “I’m” having some trouble and soon enough, “I” came running over to their side. Turns out that “I” was missing one of the utensils, and thus Kuki suggested “me” to try going towards the staff and see if “I” could borrow it. But “I” replied to him that the staff told “me” that there are no more extra utensils, so Kuki quickly called “someone” who had just finished their work to bring the utensil over here at this moment. That “someone” was Suzu-kun, and Kuki was confident that Suzu-kun would definitely not bring the wrong utensil to the contest venue definitely XD He told “me” that Suzu-kun would be coming in 20 minutes, so he hoped that in the meantime, “I’ll” try to do what “I” can in making the chocolates. 

Soon Suzu-kun arrived with the utensil, and the utensil went through a check and was approved by the staff. After getting disinfected, “I” could finally use it! As they realised that it seems that a lot of contestants do not have enough utensils, Kuki wondered whether they should suggest to the contest organizers to extend the time limit of the competition. Kuki ultimately did communicate with them and Tsubasa was impressed by his skills, remarking that Kuki felt like a policeman in a drama~ XD 

Now that the utensils were all prepared, and the time limit of the competition got extend, Kuki hoped that nothing else would happen later on... (Tsubasa reprimanded Kuki for saying this, as that would just raise a flag that something would indeed happen for sure later on XD)

Chapter 10: 一難去ってまた一難 / One Obstacle After Another

As they continued to watch “me” prepare the chocolates for the contest, Kuki noticed that “my” hands were trembling and hoped that “I” didn’t end up dropping them. As “I” needed to make three chocolates in total, “I” actually need a large amount of chocolate, so wasting any would be very costly. 

Kuki started cheering for “me”, encouraging “me” that even if “I” failed, they would try to help so everything would be alright and that “I” should calm down and take “my” time in making them. He urged Shiro to cheer for “me” too, telling him that “I” would definitely be happy to know that he’s cheering for “me”. But Shiro refused to, so Kuki remarked that if “I” lost the contest, he would deem it as Shiro’s fault (for not cheering at all XD) and said that he doesn’t want to see “me” lose because of Shiro. 

Tsubasa told Shiro that “I’m” looking over at them now, and Shiro took this chance to cheer for “me” to work hard. However, it was too soft that “I” was cupping “my” hands to “my” ears straining to listen, and thus Kuki suggested that they all cheer loudly together, remarking that it may be embarrassing for him since he’s not at the age to do such things anymore ^^: But it turned out that none of the members cheered loudly at that moment other than Shiro, which made him flustered and pissed off as he realised that he’s being trolled by Kuki XD However, that made “me” really happy that “I” smiled in return at them ^^

The competition continued on, and Suzu-kun remarked that even though “I” was really nervous earlier on, after hearing their cheers, “my” actions had gotten alot smoother. Things were proceeding smoothly along, and Suzu-kun remarked that the chocolates made by “me” were the prettiest ones that “I’ve” ever made till now, and felt that “I” stand a really good chance in gaining victory at this rate. They noticed that “I” was really satisfied with how the chocolates turned out to be, as “I” smiled and seems to really enjoy “myself” very much as the contest.

Just then, Shiro noticed someone approaching “me”. It was another contestant who was making chocolates next to “me”, and she had dropped part of her chocolates on the floor just now. “I” ended up giving her part of the chocolates “I” as about to use, which made Kuki worried since that would mean that “my” third chocolate would be really small as “I’ve” given away too much of “my” chocolates. Shiro wasn’t pleased as he remarked that “I’m” showing “my” kind-hearted side at such a weird timing now. 

As the guys could see that “I” do not have enough chocolates, Kuki suggested the guys look for more chocolates for “me”. Suzu0-kun asked “me” to keep calm and continue melting the remaining chocolates “I” have to make the third one, assuring “me” that they would find more chocolates for “me” to use.

Chapter 11: 力を合わせて / Putting All Strengths Together

The guys managed to get in contact with Kotarou, who had received some chocolates from his client and was able to give it to “me” to use them. He and Kotetsu even came to the event venue personally to hand over the chocolate to us~ (Thank you Kotarou ><”) They remarked that they’ve gotten these high-class chocolates as a reward for acting as the bodyguards for an important person. (Somehow Rudo approved of it, I guess Rudo just likes sweet treats a lot that he doesn’t mind getting chocolates instead of money for a job ^^;) Tsubasa had noticed that they had their walkie-talkie with them, and wondered perhaps they had come over in the midst of their job, but they assured him that they had just finished their work when they’ve gotten Kuki’s call and came over. Kotetsu mentioned that it was Rudo who had told the entire class 3 to help support “me” in making the chocolates ^^ (Kuki even remarked that Rudo’s words sound like he’s a sponsor ^^;)

(Kotarou is just glad that he was able to fulfil Rudo’s request. This guy just admires Rudo too much XD)

With the extra chocolates safely arrived, “I” was able to proceed in making the third chocolate for the contest. Even though the chocolates was completed, there was still wrapping and decorating left to do, but looking at the time, Tsubasa mentioned that there seems to be enough time for “me” to complete doing it. Kotarou and Kotetsu ended up staying for the rest of the contest, as they were interested in knowing the results, and wanted to report about it to Rudo as well~ 

(I just love how Tsubasa was being all encouraging when he cheered for “me”~ ^////^)

The atmosphere at the event venue started to get intense as the audience grew quiet. Kuki wanted to ask Suzu-kun for his comments, but he wasn’t around now... (I think Suzu-kun was still outside elsewhere looking for chocolates and yet to return? O.O) Turned out there was an online voting for the contest, where the photos of the chocolates were being viewed by the users online, and they would vote whichever they think looks the most delicious! (That... sounds kinds of unfair ><”) Tsubasa noticed that the contestants had all started to inform people they knew to vote for them, thus Kuki proposed that they vote for “me” too. However, Tsubasa felt that only just them voting might not be enough, and suggested to get the entire detective agency to help as well~

Chapter 12: 頑張る理由 / The Reason for Working Hard 

"I’ve” contacted Kuki, requesting them to vote for “me”, and seeing that “I’ve” specially requested for help. Kuki decided to ask all of the members of the detective agency to support “me”. Even though Tsubasa worried that some of them may not be able to as they were in the midst of working, but Kuki assured him that their work today was not as serious so hopefully they could spare a few minutes to vote for “me”. He ended up using all channels to contact the members, which Kotetsu remarked that the last time they’ve used all channels of communication was the time when they’re capturing Beto ^^; Kotarou said that he would follow Rudo’s instructions (to support “me”), and since “I’ve” requested for help, he would assist “me” in contacting the other members~

(Here’s Kuki’s message to the other members of the detective agency): Currently, Momo (”my” name in this game) is in the midst of participating the chocolate contest, which I guess most of you would have known by now, as there was always a scent of chocolate in the agency building for the last few days. But now, there’s currently an online voting for the contest, and as I hope that she would win this contest, I wished all of you could submit a vote for her.

He sent off the message via the walkie-talkie, giving a weak smile and commented that perhaps he would get scolded by Shu for this later on ^^; However, Shu and the others all began sending replies to that message, telling Kuki that they’ve voted for “me”. (Thank you guys! T//////T)

(As the messages were really sweet and heartwarming, I decided to translate them~ Pardon for any mistakes since I’m not that good at literal translating yet.)

Shu: “This is Shimada, I’ve received this request and had voted for Momo. Over and out.”

Senri: “Momo had been working hard and practising making chocolates till really late in the night. I’ll vote for her as I wanted her hard work to be fulfilled in reality.”

Rui: “Mamiya here, and I’ve just voted. In addition, I’ve read that the winner would get a prize reward, and thus look forward to it.” (Why does it sounds like Rui just want a part of the prize money =w=“)

Hijiri: Of course I’ve voted for Momo~ As long as I pressed this button will do right? Ah, hmmm? Why is the device seems to be... (It sounds like his device is being weird D:)

Yu: “Hijiri had broken the computer~! Ah... am I connected via the walkie-talkie? Erm... Ah... I... I’ve voted! (Yu sounds adorable stammering over his words XD)

Ryohei: “Hehehe, Hijiri, you’ve got to compensate for it. (Compensate for the broken computer ^^;) I’ve voted on my smartphone! And, my granny would be helping to support as well!”

Yanagi: “Isn’t communicating through here not allowed actually? ... Ah... I’ve just seen the photos now and honestly feel that they’re really good, so I’ll vote for it.”

Chihiro: “I thought it’s food that I didn’t know about, but turns out it was “chocolate” (as written in kanji). Since it was a request by Momo, I’ll follow it. Bo-chi~ (Sound effect of pressing a button XD)”

Rudo: “This is Sera. I've seen Momo’s work. I... thought the second chocolate looks the most... It’s to my liking, and thus I’ll vote for it. (Not sure whether he meant most delicious or cutest. And did he vote for someone’s chocolate too? OWO”)”

Sousuke: “Wooooh, I’ve voted! The chocolates look really delicious! Oh? Wah, I’ve stopped my nose from bleeding! Yes, I’ll head towards the event venue right now and eat the chocolates! (Sousuke sounds really excited, though I hope he takes care of his nose? ^^;)”

Kaname: “...... Hime (Princess), I feel really apologetic as I wanted to come to the venue so much actually...... At least, please let my feelings to be conveyed to the venue through my vote!”

Mashiro: “This is bad (in a way he means this is good actually XD), I’ve seen the chocolates~ I feel that this is definitely a chocolate that seems “Momo-like”, and would vote for it. The master and the guests there have also voted for it. (Thanks~! ^^)”

Ran: “Momo-chan’s chocolates were really adorable~ Of course, I’ve definitely voted for it. Let’s exchange Valentine’s chocolate!”

Izana: “Fufufu, it’s me. Theobroma... To lay my hands on chocolates, a food said to be eaten by the gods, what a crime for me. But, this is why I’ve to judge it I guess. Fufu~” (I had no idea what he’s trying to express =w=“)

Haruki: “Sorry, I’ve forgotten which ones are Momo’s chocolates....... But, I think this should be hers so I’ve voted for it. I’m sure I’ve got it right......” (I really hope you voted the correct ones, Haruki ><”)

Naoto: “Neh, why are you guys getting Suzu-kun run about by yourselves? I have work to do so I can’t go to the contest... Ah, I’ve voted, anyway, the other chocolates don’t look good in comparison.” (You don’t have to so bad to diss others’ chocolates, Naoto =w=“)

Suzu-kun: “I’m heading back to the venue right now! Since I’m not sure I’ll get back in time, I’ll vote now instead. Other than the looks of the chocolates, I’m more interested to know about the taste~”

Hinamori: ”I’ve seen... the chocolates... What interests me the most... is that the lines on top of the chocolates seem to look like arteries and veins? Hyaaaa, this is great just thinking about Momo’s veins - “ (And his message got shut off XD Whew! Just before he said anything that’s going to sound creepy ^^;)

Shiki: “I’ve seen the chocolates. They look different from the ones you offered for tasting. Since I’ve voted for it, please convey the message to Hyoko (lit. Little Chick = “me”) that she had worked hard.” (Aww, Shiki’s message sounds really heart-warming~)

Toki: “Are we aiming for victory through bulk voting by the agency? Since this is a word order I’ll follow it...... I’m heading back to my work.” (Toki sounds like he’s just voting for the sake of voting ^^;)

Leo (my adorable admin staff~): “Big sis and everyone, you’ve all worked hard for the contest! I’ve definitely voted, so please take good care and be careful when coming back!”

Kuki was impressed that every member of the agency who wasn’t here at the venue had all gotten in contact through the walkie-talkie, to which Tsubasa remarked that this was because everyone had thought well of “me”. At this time, the judges had also finished their food tasing of the chocolates, which Kuki felt that they were really fast in doing it XD

As only three of the contestants would get to win something in the contest, Kotarou felt that it’s a small opening as there were many contestants overall. Kuki believed that “I” would definitely get 1st place, but “I” ended up getting 2nd place instead. Even though he felt abit disappointed about the results (since he really wanted “me” to get first), upon seeing “my” smiling face, Kuki felt that it would do as long as “I’m” satisfied~ 

Kuki was surprised when he realised that “I” wanted to get second place in the first place, as the prize reward was chocolates enough for a year~! They then realised that the reason why “I” wanted to join the contest was that “I” wanted enough chocolates for everyone at the detective agency. Tsubasa had already known about this as he remarked that he had secretly asked “me” about it, and felt that it was really something that “I” would have thought about~ (So Tsubasa and “me” have a secret moment going on? OWO”)

In the end, Kuki was the one who ate the remaining chocolates which “I’ve” made for the contest. He commented that they were really delicious and that he could feel all “my” love in it as well. As these chocolates were made for the contest this time, he asked “me” whether “I” could make chocolates for his sake next time instead >////<

(Till the end, Shiro was just acting as a person who helped to carry heavy stuff ^^; He asked “me” to pass the chocolates which “I’ve” just won to him to carry since “I” can’t walk carrying all of them anyway XD)

And that’s it for the event story~! I think this is probably one of my favourites out of all the event stories since it’s valentine’s theme plus I get to see my favourite Class 7 together with Suzu-kun which is a favourite of mine as well~

This event was one I remembered working very hard to get Tsubasa’s 5* card, which has a really sweet and adorable character story. I’ll translate that in the future after I’m done with all the event stories and side stories since everyone should know more about Tsubasa~ >////<

[gocchisama]

Normal is the new beautiful : Story of Nagahama Neru (長濱ねる）

Have you ever fell in love with one of your classmates? Peeking at her desk, hoping she doesn’t notice you, so you can keep looking at her. Someone you want to start a conversation with, but you’re too shy to do so. Japanese high schooler are often on the romantic side, thanks to this huge culture carried through manga and anime. Neru has this perfect image of lovely girl next door that you often see in shoujo or shonen. But it isn’t fiction. Sometime life doesn’t go the way you wanted, and you have to force your way through, building this such needed resilience to go forward. Behind this sweet smile, stand a girl who search for answers. Is Keyakizaka one of them?

“A girl in search of her honest feelings”

Let’s talk about the girl herself for a bit. Someone who’s into Keyaki most surely knows her unusual introduction to the group. Like Shinoda Mariko before her, Neru joined as 1.5 gen member because she didn’t went to Keyakizaka final audition. Her parents forbid it, even taking her back to Nagasaki. But seeing Neru’s potential, Keyakizaka staff invited Neru’s parent to attend a Nogizaka concert, and it eventually changed their mind. She then joined as Hiragana Keyaki (under-like members of Keyakizaka) and Kanji Keyaki kennin for the second single, Sekai ni wa ai shikanai. It was though for her; she couldn’t mix as well as the other kanji keyaki because she started late (she wasn’t in Silent majority senbatsu), but she didn’t took part in hiragana lessons either because she was busy in kanji keyaki promotion. Question rised: where did she belong to? Up to this day, we still don’t know. But don’t let her choose between kanji and hiragana, it’s impossible.

Most of pessimistic fans would say it’s a staged scenario to push her. Because she’s having an hard time, fans start feeling sympathy toward her. Well yes, she is popular (because of this romance affinity japanese have) but struggling to know her place in Keyakizaka was real. Yonetani nanami confessed in a Keya Room episode that she didn’t accepted Neru right away. It’s only natural, right? When someone is a newcomer in your close circle of friend, you can’t immediately be comfortable like you are with the others. However Neru won member’s hearts with her natural joy, easy going character, and light sense of humor. Members were fast to realize she just wanted to get along with everyone, and not taking someone’s else place. Being Hiragana instead of Keyaki didn’t matter anymore.

“Neru, like Yurina, was given a Solo in Keyaki second single”

With that issue resolved, Neru started to work on her individual skills. Fans started to notice her thanks to her weird and lovely individual PV, where she sang all names of the periodic element board, and thereafter all irregular english verbs. To see Neru doing a moonwalk while chanting uranium, or spelling sleep slept slept while headbanging, you have to admit it marks people mind. In her third attempt, it was a regular short film about “rules”, where she displays great acting skills, feeling very genuine and natural. Furthermore, she took part in Japanese variety show, answering quizz in order to earn 1 million yen for her team, something that only a few idol of the 48group could. Before being in Keyakizaka, she won a special prize in a cooking contest, with innovative kebab style sugar crepe.

Neru is smart, cute, funny and talented. She gets closer and closer to this “shoujo” ideal fans yearn for. It didn’t take long before she claims top position in member’s popularity chart, even being number one in Twitter most mentions in the group. Neru profile has high standard, but as a matter of fact, it isn’t something original. We have seen many other idols who are good at everything, like Yamamoto Sayaka. So why is she exceeding observers expectation in term of popularity? Because it is Keyakizaka. By contrast, something cool will always shine in a pool of cute, and vice versa. Because Keyaki is about rebellion and willpower, Neru orthodox image comes out amplified. Management is fully aware and try to develop it, by giving her a slow paced, cute song as solo. Neru presence and importance in Keyakizaka increased as her personality balance well with the style of the group.

“high socks, pink cardigan and silver ribbon; Japanese uniform aesthetics bring out the best of japanese girls feminity and youth”

Neru’s situation can be seen as very propitious to a success in Keyakizaka. But it isn’t the case, and she had to deal with a lot of pressure in a short period of time. People are often worried of Yurina hectic schedule, but Neru’s has nothing to blush from it : Not only she participates in all Kanji A and B side, but she also has to learn Hiragana B-side songs. Not counting her 2 solo and duo/quatuor with Yurina and Yuichanzu. Despite her hard work, she had to compromise. It’s quite cruel to put her in Yurina’s place in hiragana first showcase for their silent majority performance. You could obviously feel the lack of training, and beyond that, the gap of character between Neru and Yurina. It was management mistake to think Neru could manage to do a decent performance with such little time. And it affected her image. That her dancing is subpar of other members, or keyakizaka standard.

Can you imagine it? She was 17 when joining Keyakizaka (like Akanen) and was at the end of crossroads, where you choose to continue college. She’s a diligent student, but chose to be an idol. This same world that sometimes shows a cruel side, like asking for a perfect performance with minimum of preparation. An unfairness that could waver anyone’s determination to reach their goal, because they are not capable. Japan is still a society that hugely rely on academic background, and to choose the idol path instead of college is understandably contested by her parents. This is something that contrast with her overall sweet side. She went as far as confronting her parent to do what she wants to do. She’s not hesitant like those shounen female character who are often painted as weak and dependable to the male hero.

It’s not about being all sweet, or all cool of a character. Even though Keyakizaka staff built Neru character to be sweet, it doesn’t exclude the fact that each person hold a complex personality, that you need to cover as a whole to understand someone. Neru didn’t dislike studying. She likes subject like Philosophy, or science. But she wanted to try something new, something she decided for herself, and not what her parents told her to do. Despite her sweet character, she was actually the first to do an act of rebellion.

“Nagahama Neru is in fact a very entertaining girl, very connected to her fans”

It would be pretentious of me to know what kind of girl is Nagahama Neru. But there’s few hints scattered on all the data available. First, her blogs. She talks a lot about her relationship with the members. Probably because she was in a delicate situation of not belonging to kanji nor hiragana, becoming an important member on both side is now her biggest strength. She entrusted herself the mission to help the members get closer, like W-Keyakizaka no uta song. To break the distance between generation, is a harder task than we think. For example, Yukirin confessed she never was close to Kojima Haruna, despite many concerts, senbatsu promotions they did over the years. It’s hard, but it is also essential to build the group unity. The girls need to learn to open their heart.

In variety, she shows that her intelligence isn’t all about having good grades. There’s also how she use her screentime to get noticed. When to make cute face, react to host pun or joke, give sassy anecdote of other members. She’s also aware it’s good to show her emotions, when being overjoyed by other members reaction when joining the 2nd single senbatsu, or when Watanabe Risa read Yonetani nanami’s letter apologizing to her. How she juggles with those opportunities helps her not being a one-dimensional idol. Watanabe Mayu was much more of the orthodox style, but her image of cyborg idol was too strong and she had a hard time to graduate from it. 

“In Keyakizaka 4th single, she was next to Techi. Will she be center in the 5th?”

With all the opportunities brought by management, her good image as an individual (the others are more known as pairing, like Za cool, Yuichanzu), and the necessary change of Keyakizaka type of song makes me think she will lead the A-side of the next single. Neru never showed the ambition to take the 0 position, but if it’s the need of the group, she will gladly take it on. Because Neru has a great sense of responsability. When we think of reliable, mother figure-like character, we tend to think of Fuuchan or Oda nana. Neru is more like of a “i will do my best” responsible type. She doesn’t want to let people down.

In the future, we can expect her to break through in variety. This little sister character is loved by japanese audience, like Hirose Suzu or Arimura Kasumi before her. Her presence in variety is Key for Keyakizaka to get national recognition. But as said above, she’s also the key to tie kanji and hiragana keyaki together, and ensure the group unity. Without noticing, Neru became an irreplaceable existence for Keyakizaka outside and inside. You don’t need to read manga to follow exciting stories. You just have to follow neru’s normal life. I wish i could live such an exciting life, but unfortunately, pink cardigan and cute skirt doesn’t suit me as much as they suits her.