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thatsmzbitchtoyou · 8 months ago

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The Fuck Up Chapter 4

Summary: Bucky fucked up. A few times. Will his best friend ever be able to forgive him?

Warnings: language, smut, mentions of war, injury, pregnancy

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Becca scoured the internet, trying to think of anything that could help her find Y/N. She searched local records and tried to find state records to see if her name would pop up anywhere. As she scrolled through her Pinterest one day she had an epiphany. She went to Y/N’s deactivated Pinterest page and looked at her username. It was a play on the nickname “honey” Bucky had given her and her favorite band. Becca started typing things in the search bar of her browser with that username or a mix of the two until a website popped up. It was a photography studio that looked like it had been started a few years ago, but its contents had picked up in the last ten months. Becca looked through the pictures then froze, gasping at one picture in particular.

It was a baby. A newborn baby with a full head of dark brown hair and bright blue eyes and Bucky’s nose. Becca stared at it, reading the short caption below it that just said: Avi. Becca looked for the contact information on the site and copied the email address. She made a new email under a different name and sent an email to the address asking about setting up a meeting to discuss pricing and ideas for a family portrait. She got a reply about twenty minutes later, and set up a meeting the following day.

Becca drove an hour away to the address the person gave her on the email. When she arrived she saw a small house that looked like one of the dream homes that Y/N had on her Pinterest and dream boards. She went up to the door, knocking firmly and waiting. She turned away from the door as she heard footsteps walking up to it on the other side, afraid of what she might see.

“Hello! You must be—” Becca whipped around to see Y/N standing there. Y/N gasped, her eyes widening and her body tensing. “Becca.”

“Y/N!” Becca cried and flung herself at her, hugging her tight. “We’ve been looking for you. Why did you…” she pulled away and held Y/N’s face, who looked like she was in shock. “I know what happened the night before Bucky left. He was such an idiot. But Mom and Dad and I have been worried sick wondering where you were. You’re family, you can’t just up and disappear—”

A baby cry came from inside the house, snapping Y/N out of her stupor and she closed her eyes as the crying continued. Becca froze at the sound. “Come in. I need to go get him,” Y/N instructed and turned back inside the house. Becca did as she said and walked in, closing the door behind her and looking around as Y/N moved to the side where a hallway led to some bedrooms. She went into one bedroom where Becca heard her speak softly. “Hey now, little man, what’s the problem?” Y/N came out just a few moments later holding a baby that must have been about a month old.

“You…you have a baby,” Becca said.

“Yes,” Y/N said as she walked past her to the kitchen on the other side of the house, opening the fridge and grabbing a bottle.

“And it’s your baby?”

“Yes.”

“And he’s…a month old?”

“He will be in three days,” Y/N said, putting the bottle in the baby’s mouth, his little whimpers dying down as he ate.

“Is he…Bucky’s?” Becca finally asked, though already knowing the answer.

Y/N breathed deeply before looking back up at her. “Yes.” She walked over to Becca and moved so she could see him. “This is Avriel James Barnes. Avi for short.” She looked down at the baby and cooed at him. “This is your auntie Becca.”

Becca’s tears flowed freely as she held a finger out to Avi and caressed his soft, tiny hand. “Hey. Hey little guy,” she whispered. “He’s beautiful.”

“Thank you,” Y/N said, giving Becca a small smile.

They both sat on the couch in the living room. “Do you want to feed him?” Y/N asked.

“Yeah, can I?” Becca asked. Y/N nodded and moved Avi into her arms, helping her get into a position comfortable enough to hold him and feed him. Becca stared down at him. “Why didn’t you tell us?” she whispered, sniffing hurriedly. “We would have helped you. We would have supported you.”

“I know,” Y/N said quietly, looking away. “I just…after he left without saying goodbye I couldn’t face anyone. I understand why he did it the way he did, I just couldn’t do it again. Writing the letters, doing the weekly family phone calls, waiting to hear if he’d made it another week. He promised me he was done, and he lied,” she stopped, fighting back the lump in her throat. “So I kept my distance from everybody. I needed a break. But then I started to feel off, and I realized we hadn’t been smart that night.” She laughed bitterly. “It was just so spur of the moment, we weren’t thinking. I got tested and…here he is,” she gestured toward Avi.

Becca nodded. “I get it. But, we miss you,” she said, looking at Y/N pitifully. “Mom has been freaking out, Dad’s always looking so dejected. Bucky is beating himself up real bad about how he handled it. And I’ve missed my friend. I don’t expect you to come home but…”

Y/N sniffed as a few tears of her own fell. She wiped them quickly. “He fucked up. I fucked up. It’s all just a really fucked up situation,” she chuckled. “I planned on telling him, but I didn’t want to distract him while he was out there.”

“Can I tell everyone?” Becca asked as Avi finished the bottle. She pulled him up to burp him as she looked pleadingly at Y/N. “Just to put their minds at ease.”

Y/N looked hesitant but nodded. “Yes please. And depending on how he reacts, you can give Bucky my information and he can reach out when he’s ready.”

Becca smiled wide, nodding enthusiastically.

“I found her,” Becca announced later that night.

“Y/N?” George asked, Winifred gasping and Bucky standing up from the couch.

“Where is she? Is she okay?” Bucky asked, his eyes widening as he walked toward her.

“Buck, sit down and let me explain,” she instructed. He frowned but sat back down and waited. Becca sat across from them all and took a deep breath. “She’s fine. After you left she said she needed a break. She was upset and just needed some time, and moved about an hour away from here. Then she found out that she was pregnant.”

Bucky felt like he was going to throw up. He thought back to their night together and realized that they hadn’t protected themselves. It had all been so unplanned, so passionate, that it hadn’t even crossed his mind. He let out a shuddered breath as he felt his mind short circuit. Winifred and George were speechless next to him.

“She gave birth about a month ago,” Becca said, watching Bucky intently. Bucky looked back at her, his eyes filling with unshed tears. “It’s a boy,” she said, looking at him with a small smile on her face. “She named him Avriel. Avi for short.”

Bucky broke down, his tears spilling over as he hung his head in his hands. Winifred held him, whispering soothing words to him as George reached over and put a hand on his knee. Becca moved toward him, kneeling in front of him. “She didn’t tell anyone because she wanted to handle it, she didn’t want to be a burden, and she didn’t want to distract you while you were out there.” Bucky shook his head, crying harder thinking of the fact that Y/N had been alone the whole time, going through a pregnancy and then giving birth by herself with no one there to help or support her. “He’s beautiful, Buck. Look,” Becca pulled out her phone and held up a picture to him. Bucky and his parents gazed at the picture of the baby, curled up in Becca’s arms. He looked like a carbon copy of Bucky, and he took the phone from her and stared at the picture, a small smile lighting up his face.

“Y/N is still angry, but she wants to see you. She says you deserve to know and be a part of his life if you want. She wants all of us,” she looked at him and their parents, “to be a family again. But we need to take it slow and do this right.”

“Please,” Bucky said as his finger grazed the baby in the picture. “Tell me where they are.”

Becca gave him a small smile and took her phone back and texted him Y/N’s contact information. “Text her, don’t call, and see when you can come over.”

Bucky nodded as he received the text and stared at her name on the screen. He contacted her there and then, with his parents watching him:

Y/N? It’s Bucky. Can I please come see you?

He waited until three dots popped up.

Yes. Tomorrow at 3?

Ok. See you then.

#marvel #smut #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #series fanfic #chapter 4 #buckywiththelonghair #soldier!bucky barnes #marine!bucky barnes

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be-my-sunrise · 1 year ago

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The Masked Man || p.js

pairings: jason role-player!jisung x fem!reader

genre: smut, minor pls dni

wc: 3,551

warnings: phone sex, mutual masturbation, use of sex toy, choking, use of pet names and derogatory terms, reader had a dream about having sex with jisung. let me know if i missed anything!

a/n: this fic is a part of 1-800-SLASHER collab by @jenoslutie !! i apologize for being late, i was supposed to post this on halloween but it took me longer than i thought. also, i really tried writing the "scary" part but turns out i suck at it and i feel like the ending is ASS omg😭 happy late halloween!<3 enjoy~

“Hold up.. Phone sex with who now?”

“With Ghostface! The other day, I got so bored and came across this website called 1-800-SLASHERS. So, these people role-play as slashers, like Michael Myers and Ghostface, and we can have phone sex with them!”

You furrow your brows in confusion upon hearing your best friend, Giselle's, story. Staring at her face in disbelief through the video call on your laptop.

“And you paid them for that?”

“Well, duhh, obviously.” Giselle rolls her eyes at your question. “You should try it, too, you know.”

“No way, it’s so ridiculous! The idea itself is just crazy, like.. why would I want to do that?”

Honestly, you can’t even begin to think why would people want to pay a random person to role-play as a scary character and have phone sex with them. You feel like it’s just a waste of money, and the idea of having phone sex with a complete stranger is just weird to you.

“I’m just saying, don’t judge until you actually try it yourself. Plus, I remember you once said, and I quote, “I would definitely bang Jason Voorhees.”

Giselle grins widely and wiggles her eyebrows teasingly at you. You groaned, face-palming yourself at the memory. “Oh my God, that was the one time we played ‘fuck, marry, kill'! Technically, I have to choose one of them.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Deflect all you want, girl, but the heavy emphasis on ‘definitely’ says a lot.”

“Ugh, you’re so annoying.”

“Aww thanks, I try to.”

You glance at the time and realize that it’s getting late, remembering the unfinished assignment that is due tomorrow morning. You quickly bid your goodbyes to Giselle and hang up the call. Thankfully, you were almost done with the assignment when you suddenly received a call from your friend.

The next morning in class, your mind starts to wander from whatever topic the professor is currently talking about, thinking about plans to do during the weekend. It was Friday after all. In fact, it happens to be Friday the 13th, which made you recall the conversation with Giselle last night. You still don't understand the excitement behind it. Not that you're against it though, it's just not exactly a thing that you would do. But, the more you think about it, the more curious you get.

The day goes by like a blur. After dinner, you sit on the couch, switching between TV channels to find anything to watch. You were about to switch to Netflix, but you stopped when your eyes caught the title of the movie. Friday the 13th.

"Of course they have this playing right now," you scoff.

Not knowing what else to watch, you decide to watch the movie anyway. Even though your eyes are glued to the screen, your mind wanders elsewhere. "What was that website again? 1-800-SLASHERS?" You thought to yourself. Despite what you kept saying, you just can't seem to get your mind off of it.

You unlock your phone and open the browser app, quickly typing out the website URL before pressing enter. The first thing you see after the page is loaded is the name 1-800-SLASHERS in big bloody letters.

Just right below the name of the website, you find a list of the character names along with photos of the role-players in their sexy costumes. Well, it's not exactly costumes because all of them are almost naked while also wearing the scary masks. As you scroll through the list, you finally find the one character you're most interested in. You tap the photo to take a good look at the guy wearing a Jason mask, eyebrows raising when you realize that he's shirtless.

He's sitting on a chair in a very laid-back position, knees wide apart, and his head slightly tilted to the side. His hands rested on top of his thighs with one hand holding a sharp knife. The photo was taken in dim lighting, but you can still clearly see his toned figure. You zoomed in on his body, eyes trailing down from his broad shoulders to his abs. His gray sweatpants hang low on his hips, giving you a peek of his v-line. When you look further down, your eyes widened in surprise seeing his cock print, almost choking on your spit. You bite down on your bottom lip at the sight, wishing he pulled it out instead of hiding it under his pants.

You quickly make an account and manage the payment settings. When it's all set up, you go back to the list page. A tab pops up when you tap his profile, showing you a call and video call button. You can't believe that you're actually considering this. But, after seeing a visual of the role-player, you can't stop yourself even if you want to. You hesitated a bit, not wanting to show your face.

"Maybe a call would be better for now."

Suddenly feeling nervous, you stare at the phone screen as you wait for the call to connect. Then the ringing stops and you move the phone closer to your mouth, clearing your throat before talking.

"Hello?"

"Hey there." Your breath hitches in your throat hearing a deep voice through the speaker.

"Hi, uhh.. what's up?"

There was a short silence followed by a low chuckle from the guy at the receiving end of the call.

"Oh, I'm doing good. You?"

"Me too."

You let out a nervous laugh, lowkey cringing at yourself. It's not like you haven't done this before, you've had phone sex with your ex-boyfriend a couple of times in your last relationship. But that was almost two years ago, so you can't help but feel weird and nervous.

"What's your name, doll?"

"You can call me y/n."

"Y/N. Such a pretty name for a beautiful girl like you."

"Oh, umm thank you. So.. should we get started?" You ask him, and he chuckles before answering.

"Yeah, sure. Tell me what you're wearing right now."

"I'm wearing a tank top and shorts."

"Take off your shorts, doll."

You mumbled okay and set your phone down before hooking your thumbs on the waistband, slightly lifting your hips to take off your shorts along with your panties. Even though you're still nervous, you can feel yourself slowly relaxing, thanks to his voice. His deep voice sounds so calming, yet so sexy at the same time. Your mind goes back to the photo you saw before the call, pressing your thighs together at the thought of him. You imagine him sitting on the same chair, one hand around his cock, slowly pumping himself as he talks with you.

"I took off my shorts, and my panties too."

He hums in satisfaction, "Mmm you're such a good girl for me, taking off your panties before I told you to. Now, touch yourself where you want me most."

You move your hand towards your core, collecting the wetness on your fingers before pressing it against your clit. A small moan falls from your lips as you rub circles on the sensitive bud.

"Is my pretty doll touching herself?"

"Yes," you paused. "I wish it was your fingers instead of mine."

"Yeah? Tell me more, doll. What do you want me to do?"

You rub your clit faster, letting out a breathy moan as you put in more pressure. "Wish you were here too, I want to feel your fingers inside me."

He snickers, "Oh, baby, my fingers won't be the only thing you're getting if I'm there with you."

Closing your eyes, you slip two fingers into your core. You moan out loudly from the stretch, imagining it was his cock.

"Bet you look so pretty around my cock. All fucked out, moaning and begging me to fuck you harder."

Suddenly you hear a glass shattering, making your eyes fly open in shock. You look around to find the source of the noise, only to realize that it was coming from the TV. You see Jason punching through a small glass window to choke one of the female characters. You bite your lip and start pumping your fingers faster, making you whimper.

"Fuck, I need you so bad. I want you to choke me while you're fucking me senseless."

He lets out a groan in response, tightening the grip around his cock as he strokes faster. His heavy breaths can be heard through the speaker, making your eyes flutter close at the sound of his noises.

"My pretty doll likes it when I choke her, hm?"

"Fuck, yes. I want you to choke me until I pass out."

"My, my.. what a naughty doll you are," he chuckles.

You feel a familiar knot in your stomach, muscles tense as you're reaching your climax. You put the phone down next to you, using your now free hand to rub circles on your clit, gasping from the added stimulation.

"Shit, I'm so close."

"Me too. Cum for me, doll. I wanna hear your pretty moans."

Your jaw goes slack from the orgasm, moaning loudly as you rock your hips to ride out your high. He mutters profanities under his breath hearing you moan. You can hear him panting, breath hitching in his throat as he also rides out his high.

"Hey, umm thank you for this. I think I'm gonna end the call now." You say, suddenly feeling awkward.

"Yeah, no problem. Hope I can see you next time, doll."

You press the end call button and get up to grab tissues to wipe your hands. After that, you turn off the TV and head to the bathroom to clean yourself.

***

A few days passed after the phone sex and you can't seem to get your mind off him. All you can think about is doing inappropriate things with him. Riding his cock until your legs go numb, leaving claw marks on his chest, and the list goes on. Oh, and his voice. Gosh.. his voice was sexy as fuck. You want him to whisper praises in your ear as he rails you.

You moan into the pillow, hands gripping the sheets. The guy behind you thrusts his hips roughly, burying his cock deep inside you.

"Fuck, feels so good." You say, voice slightly muffled.

"I can't hear you clearly with your face against the pillow, doll."

Your heart beats faster hearing the familiar voice and the pet name he used. He suddenly flips your body so you're lying on your back, throwing both of your legs over his shoulders. Your eyes widened in shock seeing the masked man before you. Even though his face is covered with a Jason mask, you still recognize his deep voice.

He leans his body closer, pressing your thighs and chest together in the process. He rests his hand next to your head and wraps the other one around your neck, blocking your airflow. Your eyes flutter close, moaning loudly as he continues to fuck you.

"Ah, ah, ah. Eyes on me, doll. I wanna see your eyes get glazed over."

He mutters good girl under his breath when you open your eyes. Your mouth hangs open as you feel his grip around your throat get tighter with each thrust. He tilts his head to the side and chuckles.

"What's wrong, doll? You want this, don't you? You begged me to choke you while I fuck you dumb."

Panic starts to fill your chest, but all you can think about is how good his cock is making you feel. You weakly claw at his hand, trying to pry it away and he just laughs at you mockingly. You start to feel dizzy, eyelids getting heavier as your vision darkens from the lack of air.

You suddenly open your eyes and your body jolts up in shock, hand clutching your neck as you gasp for air. You look around frantically only to find yourself in the dark. As your eyes adjust to the darkness, you start to calm down realizing that you're inside your bedroom. You had fallen asleep while watching a video on your laptop. It's now dark outside and only the soft glow from the moon is illuminating your room. You get off the bed and carefully walk across the room to turn on the lights, making you squint from the brightness. Then, you go to the bathroom to splash your face with cold water. After you're done, you stare at your reflection in the mirror.

"Wait.. did I just have a wet dream about that Jason role-player?"

The wetness between your legs confirms your thought, making you blush as the realization hits. You touch your neck remembering the way he choked you in your dream and how good he made you feel. The thought of his cock filling you up nicely makes you press your thighs together.

You go back to your room and reach for the laptop in your bed, quickly typing the website name in the search bar. You strip your clothes off, leaving your bra and panties on, which thankfully is a matching set. When the page loads, you scroll down to look for the guy who role-plays as Jason. Once you find his profile, you adjust the pillow and your sitting position so now your back is comfortably resting against the headboard. You open the nightstand drawer next to you and reach for the vibrator and a dildo before setting it aside.

After turning on the webcam and clicking the video call button, you set your laptop down in front of you, making sure your body is seen on the camera. The line suddenly stops ringing and then you see him. He's shirtless, just like in the profile photo, only wearing gray sweatpants with the mask. You didn't even realize that you were staring until he snapped you from your daze.

"Hello? Hey, you okay?"

"Hm? Oh, sorry, I was too busy admiring the view."

He let out a small laugh, "I can say the same to you too."

"I'm not sure if you remember, but I called you here the other day. I'm y/n."

"Ah, yes, my pretty doll. Glad I can finally see you."

"You know, I can't get my mind off of you. I even had a dream about you." You bite your lip, debating whether to tell him about the dream you just had or not, but then you decide to just go for it.

"We were having sex and then you choked me. I couldn't breathe, but all I cared about was how good your cock felt."

"Is that so? Take off your panties, doll. Show me how good I made you feel."

He hums in satisfaction at the sight of your soaked panties, palming himself through the pants while he waits for you to take off your panties. Once you take it off, you spread your legs wide and adjust the webcam so he can get a nice view of your glistening pussy, but can still see your face as well.

"Fuck, baby. Even your pussy looks so pretty."

You start rubbing your clit in small circles, moaning from even the slightest stimulation. You throw your head back as you pick up the pace, the pleasure making you dizzy. His cock twitches in his pants, clearly enjoying the show you're giving him. He pulls out his hardening cock, letting out a breathy moan as he slowly strokes his length. The noises he makes catch your attention. You were so horny you forgot that you're still in a video call. Your breath hitches in your throat at the sight of his cock. It's even better than you imagined. His cock is long and thick, you can feel your mouth watering.

"I need you so bad," you whimper.

"Yeah? You want me to fill you up nicely with my cock?"

"Fuck, yes please. I want you to stuff me full with your cock."

You grab the vibrator next to you, turning it on before pressing it against your clit. You moan loudly from the sensation, mouth itching to scream out his name. But then you realize you don't know his name.

"Tell me your name, please?"

"Sorry, doll. I can't tell you that."

"Please? I want to scream out your name," you beg.

"I can't–"

"Tell me your name, please! I'll pay you!" You cry out from frustration. You're so close and you have been holding back, wanting to scream his name as you cum. "Please, I'll Venmo you right now, just tell me your username."

He grew silent for a moment, considering your offer. He feels bad about using you, but he knows you're too horny to think twice before paying him just to know his name and the extra money would be nice. It's actually against the policies, but at this point, he's also too turned on to care.

"Jspark."

Once he says his username, you quickly grab your phone and send him the money. He glances at his phone when he gets the notification, smirking as he sees the amount of money he received.

"Oh my pretty doll, I didn't know you're such a pathetic slut. You're so horny you didn't even think before throwing your money at me just to know my name so you can get off." He laughs at you mockingly before telling you his name, "I'm Jisung. Go ahead and scream my name, doll"

"Jisung!"

You scream his name as you finally let go, back arching against the bed from the pleasure. You moan loudly as you ride out your high. He pumps his length faster, chest heaving up and down. You reach for the dildo and rub the tip against your slit.

“I would love to see that in your mouth, doll. Get it all nice and wet for me?”

You close your lips around the tip, grimacing at the taste of your arousal. You lean closer to the camera before pushing the dildo into your mouth. You look straight into the camera as you bob your head up and down, cheeks hollowing as you suck the toy. Jisung can feel his cock throb in need, wishing it was his cock in your mouth. He imagined you kneeling in front of him, wrapping your pretty lips around his cock as you look up at him innocently through your lashes. The idea of you deep-throating his cock pushes him to the edge. Eyes close while his jaw goes slack. His abdomen tensed as he dumps his load on his stomach. Jisung let out a breathy laugh when he realized that you had turned the vibrator on again, pressing it against your clit while you suck the toy.

“Look what you do to me, doll. I came once and I’m still hard as fuck.” He says while pumping his cock. You remove the toy from your mouth and suck in deep breaths. The way you look at him innocently with tears in your eyes and swollen lips, Jisung swears he could cum again right then and there.

“I got this all nice and wet for you, Jisung.”

“Good girl. Now, put that in your pussy and keep the vibrator on your clit.”

Slowly, you push the dildo into your core. A broken moan falls from your lips as the toy stretches you out. The slight discomfort from the stretch feels so delicious that you don't even wait for yourself to adjust.

"Fuck, I wish this was your cock instead." You flick your wrist faster, the angle making you brush against your sweet spot.

"Poor baby, is it not big enough for you? You still need my cock to stretch you out, hm?"

Overwhelmed by the double stimulation, you can only babble nonsense in response. Your thighs tremble from the pleasure as you move your hips to meet the dildo halfway, pushing the toy deeper. You pick up the pace when you feel the familiar knot in your stomach once again.

"I'm so close."

"I don't think you deserve to cum, doll."

"Please, Jisung, I can't hold it anymore!"

Jisung throws his head back as he grips his cock while fondling his balls using the other hand. His cock twitching in his hand, signaling that he is also reaching his climax.

"Beg me."

"Jisungie~ please?"

His head felt like spinning. The noises you make and the way you whine his name drives him crazy.

"Fuck, y/n. I love it when you say my name. Go ahead, baby. Cum for me."

You let out a long moan, legs shaking from the intense climax. Jisung's breath hitches in his throat, panting as he cums as well. For a moment, only heavy breathing and a soft buzzing noise can be heard while both of you catch your breath. You pull out the dildo and turn the vibrator off.

"Thank you, Jisungie. That was great." You give him a weak smile.

"Likewise, doll. I haven't cummed that hard lately," he chuckles.

"Well, I think I'm gonna go now. Maybe I'll see you again next time."

"I'm counting on it."

You end the call and close your laptop. You slip under the comforter and decide to clean up in the morning. You drift off to sleep, hoping that you would dream about Jisung again.

#1-800-SLASHER collab #be-my-sunrise #thea's writings #jisung smut #park jisung smut #nct smut #nct dream smut #nct imagines #nct dream imagines #jisung x reader #park jisung x reader #thea's fics

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6leggedhorse · 4 months ago

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The Green Witch: Your Complete Guide to the Natural Magic of Herbs, Flowers, Essential Oils and more by Arin Murphy Hiscock Book Review

The long awaited book review I’ve been trying to get pumped out has finally come to fruition! So it took me a bit to read this, as this book is PACKED with information. So grab something to drink and eat. Get comfortable and grab your pet and let’s dive into this.

‼️THIS AUTHOR TRAINED UNDER SILVER RAVENWOLF. READ AT YOUR PWN DISCRETION.‼️

Who is the Author?

Arin Murphy Hiscock is an author and has a lot of books written. One includes 1 or 2 books about Assassins Creed; however her main topic of choice is witchcraft, specifically green witchcraft and the other similar branches like Hearth and Folk to name a few. Now when I tried to get onto her website, my internet browser for some odd reason refuses to load it. So I can’t say much due to this technical issue. I recently received information from someone who was chill enough to let me know that the author was trained under Ravenwolf,I advise that if you decide to read this to create your own opinions, do your own research, and figure out what works for you.

The Review: 6.5/10⭐️s

So, this book is..meh for beginners. This book is lengthy for green witches, but it has corresponding plants and their intentions, recipes, spell instructions and more. It’s mid if your just starting out on your path and need copious amounts of information and or if the internet itself isn’t accurate or doesn’t have much information. What I like is that it’s detailed, but it’s too detailed. This was about 10 bucks on the books app; now this book was and is not too great,there is one thing I wasn’t too fond of being said here.

“In the green witch’s practice, however, we do not require protection for everything is part of nature.” (The Green Witch: Your Complete Guide to the Natural Magic of Herbs, Flowers, Essential Oils and more by Arin Murphy Hiscock, pg. 40) this rubbed me the wrong way, it’s the reason why it’s not a full ten out of ten. Now sure, energy is part of nature, but sometimes people will have it out for you. Malicious intent can be behind casting out the negative energy towards someone. Sometimes sure it’s positive but other times, someone can be jealous or hateful and perhaps just petty/spiteful. I encourage you all that your coming into this or any practice you research and practice protection. This is important for yourself, home, family, significant other etc. there are times where paranormal activity can interfere, energy comes with all objects and that energy could be really heavy, now sure it’s natural, but how fair can or are you willing to go to think that because it’s part of nature that it’s okay to coexist with? This quote, don’t pay it any mind, keep protecting yourself.

Looking back on this, I do not support or condone anything Silver Ravenwolf. Had the website loaded or had this commenter didn’t mention this, I woulda been clueless. So I dropped the review points, anything involving Silver loses points due to her problematic nature and making up stuff.

In Conclusion

It’s actually a long read, totally worth the money, but if you don’t want over saturated material! But that section of not utilizing and practicing protection is a bit too unsafe for me. I don’t recommend it for sure, but I would read protection books first before cracking this one open. If you do.

Epilogue

So I am a slow reader but this book had so much information it slowed me down :’). Anyways sorry for the slowed pace, I’m not as crispy with the burn out but I am working towards getting my Fridays off for good as I cannot not have a day off. Hopefully in time things will get easier; both work and personal life wise. I learned that a former love interest and friend turned out to be a scumbag and he got dumped by his gf of 4 yrs while he is half way across the country. As I sit here mourning the fake persona he put on for me, it’s almost if he passed away, but he hasn’t passed away. He’s alive, but he’s not the same. Well enough of me getting a tad bit emotional over him, he doesn’t think about me ya know?

I look forward to making a post for you guys next Monday!

Would I read this again?

No, not really, might grab some info about plants, or something but not much more than that.

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sandinthepipes · 1 year ago

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Hello fellow dyslexic/adhd/others who would like to enjoy fanfics through their ears, I just spent the entire day testing android apps to find one that doesn’t suck as much.

TL;DR - these two T2S, Audify

I feel like I need to share this because 90% the apps don’t even allow a web page as a source, let alone get past the log in page, and I cant be the only one who doesn’t want to download every single fic.

“Oh, but doesn’t android have a built-in text-to-speech function in the accessibility settings?” I hear you ask. Yes, but it sucks ass very badly. Firstly it only reads in the system language, so it doesn’t really work. Second, you need to highlight all that you want it to read, and seeing that I read a minimum of 15k words in a sitting, I’m not gonna do that.

Also I’m broke, I imagine you are too, but even if I wasn’t I’m not paying for this, if I did I wouldn’t even be supporting a human being, so no.

I’ll immediately break your trust with the first point, but it’s what I’ve been doing until now, and now that I know what the android mobile experience is like, I feel the need to include this. The best solution I’ve had so far (which works wonders, let me tell you) is letting Siri read them on the iPad. It’s only doable when I’m at home and it’s still an apple product, so that’s why I began the research. However the positive points are INCREDIBLE so I’m going to ads it to the list because I said so.

First of all it’s built-in and SO EASY to access, you literally just swipe with two fingers and it stars to read. It reads the punctuation, you might think that’s a given and so did I, but no. A question sounds like a question, an exclamation point does why its supposed to do, short sentences sound what they’re supposed to sound like. In apparently all the apps ever created, you won’t find any of it, just flat, monotone voices with flat little pauses. Overall excellent experience 10/10.

Cons: it’s on apple, I consider apple the same as Disney, I would love to not give them more money so that they can make the market increasingly worse. Every now and then a system update will fuck with the tts function and it will be unusable for a while. Sometimes it doesn’t like the text format on some fics. It’s not portable.

Now that we got that out of the way let us get to the meet.

Speechify - it sucks bad. At least the free version, but seen as it costs almost 10€ a month I’m not even going to consider the premium version. Fuck that. You can’t increase the speed, and as somebody who hasn’t watched a single YouTube video on normal speed since they added the function I can’t do that, too slow, I forgot what we were talking about once we get to the end of the sentence. Also you can only use those weird very robotic voices, and they’re not even that many. Don’t recommend. I felt like I had to include it since it was one of the few who allowed browser navigation and well, it’s speechify. Also you can’t t have saved more than 3 “files” per time. Doesn’t have sleep mode.

T2S - cute. It works. Again, no emotions, but it reads what it has to, nice voice selections, easy to use. The premium version adds literally nothing, they’re a good app, what they have, they give. Also you can customise the interface colour if you want. Has the sleep mode. - EDIT: this app allows you to have multiple tabs open at the same time, unlike Audify. - EDIT EDIT: it's waaay better than Audify with pdf files.

Audify - works exactly the same as T2S, but it saves the history and has a bit more customisation for how it reads and what it reads (which you don’t really need for ao3, but if you wanted to read, say, Wikipedia with all the notes and stuff, now you know). Has the sleep mode. - EDIT: the double tap to start reading works slightly better than T2S on websites with weird formatting. But unlike T2S you can only have one tab open - EDIT EDIT: will turn your pdf file into text and will show you just text. If you had things like images or columns fucks for you.

That’s all folks. Now go and be free of your reading impediment, or be free in your multitasking, or whatever you want to do. I’m done, I’ve given my datas to all kinds of shady apps, I need to go do damage control

#fanfiction #fanfic #ao3 #dyslexia #dyslexic #adhd #texttospeech #text to speech #tts

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disabled-dean · 9 months ago

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writing patterns tag game

Tagged by the owner of the world's most accurate and correct url, @bucklebunnydean

Rules: post the first sentence from your 10 most recently posted fics. (Gonna include my wips b/c I don't have 10 yet sorry!) Also I did the first paragraph/few lines because i am evil and love cheating 😇

1. An Easier Softer Way: It’s only as he’s pulling into the parking lot that Dean realizes he doesn’t even know where the meeting is. The shitty, outdated website had listed the address for a church, but the building he’s now idling in front of has more than one entrance.

2. Asterism of an F-Series Ford Pick Up: Cas makes a quick turn with one hand. He releases the wheel and it slides smoothly through his calloused palm back to center. Dean's eyes stick on the spot where his fingers meet the hot leather. He slouches further in his seat.

3. Lebanon: The bunker emergency lighting flashes red against the walls, pulsating once before a soft whirring noise breaks through the harsh cry of the alarm. The strip lighting flickers again, and then the overheads come back on. Dean is flat on his back, staring up the barrel of a gun, at his father.

4. The cursed mommy!blogger Dean Flossing fic (which does not actually have a first sentence yet this is just how the doc starts): The glare of the ring light refracts off the screen. (which is probably why he’s sweating).

He glances at the/his open browser. He looks down at his phone. The text says: Floss

5. Ace!dean rights (also without a first sentence): Cas is sitting on the counter, legs swinging absently. Dean keeps turning around and backing up into him and not asking him to move.

Dean offers him the spoon,

"Here," he says, "try this."

Cas

"Needs more salt."

"Fuck you, no it doesn't."

6. Season 6 Lisa!rights wip (also without a first sentence): But Cas can’t be watching him, because he’s off somewhere saving the world. Which is fine with Dean. Let someone else do it for once. He rolls over and goes back to sleep.

7. Heaven is Too Hot To Handle game!show wip (no first line): [Dean is smoking in the courtyard]

“Do you have another one of those?”

“Aren’t you gonna get in trouble?”

“You tell me.”

“You’re not a contestant so I doubt you’ll try to tempt me.”

Dean half-chokes. Cas inhales contemplatively.

“You really aren't supposed to be out here.”

Seemingly I am allergic to starting a wip doc at the start of the story. We go off vibes in this household!

Tagging: @kerryweaverlesbian @bloodydeanwinchester @demora00 @ipromiseimawriter @luckshiptoshore @shineforthee @outofbluecomesgreen2 @shineforthee @their-we-go @castielafflicted @revenge-of-the-assbutt and anyone else who wants to play! <3 <3 <3

#asks #tag games #thank you this was fun <3

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obanicrypto · 1 month ago

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How to Connect Your TON Wallet to STON.fi: A Simple Guide for Everyone

Let’s face it—starting anything new can feel overwhelming, especially in the world of crypto and blockchain. If you’ve ever felt lost trying to connect your wallet to a decentralized app, you’re not alone. But here’s the truth: connecting your TON wallet to STON.fi is simpler than it seems.

Think of it like setting up a digital wallet for your favorite online store. Once it’s done, you’re all set to explore, trade, and take full control of your financial journey. Let me walk you through the process step by step in the most straightforward way possible.

Why Do You Need to Connect Your Wallet

Imagine walking into a store with a shopping list but no wallet. You know what you want, but you can’t buy anything. That’s what it’s like trying to use STON.fi without connecting your TON wallet.

Your wallet acts as your digital access card, allowing you to interact with the blockchain. Without it, you’re just a spectator in the decentralized world. Once connected, you can trade tokens, stake your assets, and fully immerse yourself in decentralized finance (DeFi).

Step 1: Open the STON.fi Application

First, visit STON.fi. Consider this the entrance to a digital marketplace, designed for seamless interaction with the blockchain.

The website is user-friendly and intuitive, so you won’t feel like you’re navigating a maze.

Step 2: Click “Connect Wallet”

On the homepage, find the “Connect Wallet” button and click it. Think of this as saying, “Hey, I’m ready to explore!”

This simple action sets the stage for all your future transactions.

Step 3: Select Your Wallet

Once you click the button, a list of supported wallets will pop up. If you don’t see your wallet immediately, don’t panic—click “View All Wallets” to see the full list.

Still can’t find your wallet? Double-check to ensure you’ve set it up correctly. It’s like looking for a key—you need the right one to unlock the door.

Step 4: Scan the QR Code

Open your wallet app and look for the QR code scanner. Use it to scan the code displayed on STON.fi.

This step is as simple as tapping your card on a payment terminal. It’s quick, efficient, and hassle-free.

Step 5: Confirm the Connection

Your wallet app will ask for confirmation. Once you approve, your wallet is connected!

Here’s a pro tip: your wallet will stay connected until you disconnect it manually or clear your browser cache. This means you don’t have to repeat the process every time you visit STON.fi.

Addressing Common Concerns

Is it safe to connect my wallet?

Absolutely. Connecting your wallet doesn’t mean you’re giving anyone access to your funds. It’s more like logging into an account—secure and private.

What if I make a mistake?

No worries! The process is straightforward, and you can always start over if needed. Plus, plenty of guides are available to help you troubleshoot.

Why This Step Matters

Connecting your wallet is more than just a technical task—it’s a doorway to financial independence. In the traditional financial world, we rely on banks and middlemen. With STON.fi, you’re in control.

Once your wallet is connected, you can:

Trade tokens seamlessly

Stake your assets for rewards

Explore new opportunities in DeFi

Picture this: You’re at a coffee shop and want to pay for your latte. You open your phone, scan a QR code, and the payment is done in seconds.

That’s exactly how connecting your wallet to STON.fi works. Simple, efficient, and secure. Once you’ve set it up, the entire process becomes second nature.

Final Thoughts

Starting your journey in the decentralized world doesn’t have to be complicated. Connecting your TON wallet to STON.fi is one of the easiest and most empowering steps you can take.

Think of it as setting up the foundation for your financial freedom. Once it’s done, you’ll have access to a world of opportunities at your fingertips.

So, what are you waiting for? Dive in and take control of your future—one transaction at a time.

#web3community #web3gaming #ton blockchain #defi #stonfi

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ranabayarea · 2 years ago

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New Post has been published on RANA Rajasthan Alliance of North America

New Post has been published on https://ranabayarea.org/how-to-code-coding-for-beginners-and-how-to-learn/

How to Code Coding for Beginners and How to Learn Programming for Free

It depends on your project complexity, which features you need to build first. Initially, you will be making a lot of mistakes and you will face a lot of problems but that’s how you will learn to build and handle the complex projects. Below are some useful tips you should follow while making a project. Learning to program for beginners can be challenging, but with determination, you can do it. In general, when figuring out how to learn to code, try to stick to a language that you’re excited to use.

Ruby, also called Ruby on Rails, is a simple language that’s useful for creating automation tools, desktop applications, and rapid prototypes. It’s gratifying to know you can build programs that, until now, you’ve never fully understood. Plus, projects are essential to the learning and job-seeking process. This will help you determine which programming language you decide https://deveducation.com/en/courses/ to learn first, what sorts of projects you want to complete, and ultimately what you want to make of your skills. One of the most popular package managers is npm, the Node Package Manager, which manages packages for Node.js applications. This provides a command-line interface to install packages, manage dependencies, and even create and publish your own packages.

You’re all set!

It is by far the most popular VCS in use by government, commercial, and open-source communities worldwide. For example, an error would be thrown if our program tried to store a character value inside a variable that was declared to be an integer. We can’t assign the character ‘S’ to the integer variable x in the previous example. For beginner Pythonistas, I recommend taking a peek at the Zen of Python, which is a list of 20 rules-of-thumb for writing Pythonic code. That is because Python actually uses the white space and newline characters to identify the end of statements and code blocks. This will load in the JavaScript code from the file, which will execute when the web page is displayed in the browser.

This service should not be used for emergency or urgent care needs. In an emergency, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. The information provided through this service is for informational purposes only. The nurses cannot diagnose problems or recommend treatment and are not a substitute for your doctor’s care. Your health information is kept confidential in accordance with the law.

Connect with other programmers.

The reason why Python is in demand is because of its applicability in each area, from web development to data science and machine learning. It is useful in evry domain, as it not only eases out the tasks but having this skill opens many career options and job opportunities. In today’s time, there is no limit to educating oneself as there are many options to learn programming online. A common mistake beginners do while learning programming is just reading a book or looking at the sample code on their desktop without practicing it. It’s easy to read about the loops, and variables, and get all the things in your head but actual programming doesn’t work in this way. You really need to get your hands dirty in coding and keep practicing it regularly.

It is a Javascript framework used to develop web applications. It builds very smooth and highly testable websites and applications. It also makes use of its features and helps to dissolve any leakages by debugging. The growth for Angular Developers is predicted to grow by 31% by the year 2026.

Inspiration & career

Unlike a graphical user interface (GUI), which uses icons and windows to interact with the operating system. Most mainstream flavors of Linux ship with a built-in package manager. Advanced Package Tool (APT) is the native package manager for Debian and Ubuntu-based Linux distributions. Yellowdog Updater, Modified (YUM) is the native package manager for the RedHat Linux distribution. The SELECT keyword tells the database that we want to retrieve data.

Learning to code has changed a lot of lives as it can give you the skills to get a great job and earn your financial freedom. And there are tons of employment opportunities out there right now. You can read more about the distinction between programming and coding here. Examples of coding languages include HTML, GitHub Markdown, CSS, JavaScript, and Python, among many others. Follow these steps to embark on a journey in the growing field of programming.

youtube

Redux and React are two major areas that any app developer should put emphasis on. If you are someone who wants to make your own app or want to work for a company and build an app, then make Redux and React your friends. Teachers can also teach their students how to code to develop their problem-solving skills and to teach them important skills for their future. Engineering is another field where programming can help you to succeed. Being able to write your own computer programs can make your work much more efficient.

And we are only starting to talk about programming languages.

There are certain hard skills required to be a computer programmer such as the knowledge of data structures, SQL, Web Development, Cloud Computing, OOPs languages, etc.

Upon these instructions, the machine performs certain operations that reflect upon business functionalities.

Learning to code and mastering it can take years for a beginner.

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dawsonskyelar · 2 months ago

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The Spaces Between Us - chapter 4

Master post

Full work

‘Don’t call me that,’ Sebastian said through gritted teeth, shoving away his analyst partner Kate Willoughby. He really, really hated when people assumed personal intimacy with him. He wondered if sharing a workspace with more people would be more beneficial for him even if he disliked the thought. At least there’d be other people for her to bother, unlike sharing a two-person desk that faced the wall.

‘Ugh, I can’t believe I have to make the presentation for O’Brien three days before the due date!’ she grumbled as she sat down at her desk next to him and switched her computer on. The top part of her white shirt was unbuttoned so her cleavage was visible and her nude skirt was higher than her knees.

‘Three days are enough to come up with something.’ Sebastian wanted to slap her. She didn’t have to sort through thousands of expenses and manually scour each one for discrepancies! They’d agreed that he’d handle that side of the workload! All she had to do was copy and paste his spreadsheets!

‘I still have to make sure it looks good! You can’t just dump in an extra table and expect it to go with the other slides!’ Her computer wasn’t even on a slideshow software, but a browser displaying a social media website.

Sebastian shrugged. If she didn’t want to work, it was her problem, not his. He opened several documents, making sure that each one was displaying the most recent data.

It soon became clear, however, that it was a problem. Kate’s incessant muttering and clicking bore into his brain and slowly drove him insane without his music. He tried to concentrate on the numbers on his screen, but soon they turned into a meaningless cypher. The tiny clock at the bottom corner showed that only forty-one minutes had passed. How on earth was he going to last for the other seven hours and nineteen minutes at this rate?

‘Did you hear about Jack from IT chewing someone out for saying his bird’s colours are weird?’ Kate said as she scrolled through a gallery of celebrities.

‘Hn.’

‘Should I use magenta for this month’s presentation? I used ochre last time.’

‘Don’t care.’ The headache was pounding on his brain like a drum.

‘What are you doing this weekend, Baz? Want to go somewhere with me–?’

‘Good morning, Kate,’ O’Brien the manager said before Sebastian could take the pair of scissors on her desk and slit her throat. His pale skin, long hair and slanted eyes never failed to remind Sebastian of a snake. If he had a list of phobias–not that he did–then snakes would be the second item.

‘Ah! Good morning, sir!’ She was all smiles as she stood up and her monitor displayed the wallpaper, which was of the company logo.

‘How’s the presentation coming along? Is it ready?’

‘It’s going fine, sir! I just need to add the data you asked me to put in!’ Kate’s grin was weak as she twirled her hot pink hair around her index finger.

‘Very good.’ O’Brien smiled down at her. The black suit made him look positively predatory. ‘You’ve been exceeding my expectations since you came here, Kate. I have high hopes for you in this company. In fact, I’m going to request a raise for you.’

‘Oh, wow! Thank you, sir!’ Sebastian could see the dollar sign flashing in her glasses’ lenses. O’Brien walked away without even giving Sebastian a second glance. Kate giggled excitedly and started saying something about touch-ups to herself.

Sebastian stared at a spot on his monitor, clenching his fists. It wasn’t fair. Why were the worst people so lucky? How could he try so hard and only get scraps, while they did nothing and be showered with blessings? He could feel another round of headaches starting to squeeze his brain. He stood up, stalked out of the room and through the corridor, and kicked open the door that led to the floor’s balcony.

The wind grumbled in his ears as he walked to the edge, rendering him deaf to the traffic. It was only marginally helpful in drowning out the pulsing of his head. He almost wished it would rain so he could centre his focus on something else. He leaned against the railing and stared out at the skyline. It was a blend of steel, concrete and glass, oddly reminiscent of a prison.

A particularly loud horn blared from below him and Sebastian closed his eyes. He wondered if he should climb over the railing and put an end to everything. At least then he wouldn’t be able to feel anymore. And Nick would be ecstatic to finally have a flatmate who didn’t ‘nag him endlessly’. He dismissed the urge. That sort of thing was for the weak, and he wasn’t weak. But he figured no one would miss him if he decided to stay here an hour longer.

#writing #writeblr #writers on tumblr #naruto #naruto shippuden #free novel #novel

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ifightformyfriends · 2 years ago

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I think that it’s likely to still exist, just be more niche than it currently is. Case in point, Mozilla (Nonprofit behind Firefox, one of the few browsers not built on and reliant on Google code) is working on creating a Mastodon instance. Can’t say that it will be great, never dealt with Mastodon before, but I’m certainly interested in it.

Discord is killing itself trying to turn into Twitter, Twitter is killing itself on so many fronts it’s kind of hilarious. Anything with a capitalistic mindset is all about unlimited growth, like a cancerous tumor. It can never be content with success on any scale, it needs GROWTH at all costs up to and including its own death.

Anything of a Free and Open Source Source mindset is generally better insulated from that problem, though more prone to deprecation. That model is harder to make work in a social media structure, which is why Mastodon is weird compared to things like Twitter, but it’s not unlikely that will be the future cost of good websites, short of pay to use sites that are so to avoid necessitating outside capital.

Anything trying to operate at the scale of Reddit or Twitter is likely doomed to become its own worst enemy. But things will survive. It’s more likely to be the death of social media at scale than the whole entire thing.

Honestly the reddit API thing kinda has me freaked out. Not that I care too much about reddit specifically, but it's a sign of just how much borrowed time social media is really on, how much pressure there is and how little money is really left to go around. "We" all knew back in 2008 that none of this was built to last, that everything would collapse when it couldn't turn a profit. It kept proving us wrong somehow, but it looks like that might finally be over.

I hope tumblr stays around for a few years at least. I hope even if it doesn't, that it doesn't just go down one day, never to return. And I hope when it finally does go away, as all things do, that there's still something left, either Discord or some new platform, or hell, even irc or forums if nothing else. Just.... something. I'm not sure how I'd ever manage to talk to anyone like me otherwise. If this is the end of the golden age of the internet, I have to say I wish I'd been less productive the last twenty years and spend more time goofing off while it lasted.

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websymphonies1 · 1 year ago

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How to Create a Cross-Browser Compatible Website

As a Charlotte web design company, these are the things that we think about so that you, internet user, don’t leave one of our client’s websites because it’s not working with your browser.

Why? Just Why?

Why are web browsers like this? Why aren’t they all just built the same? That isn’t a question I can answer but what I can tell you is that each browser has a different rendering and JavaScript engine, which means there are slight variations to how Chrome interprets HTML, JavaScript, and CSS versus Safari.

Complicated Things

The complicated things you might not know about are the existence of web standards, which are guidelines and specifications defining how all things web should work. There are actual organizations for this such as the World Wide Web Consortium (W3C) and the Internet Engineering Task Force.

DIY Things

For you DIY fans, you can literally test your website on different browsers and devices. Open it up in Chrome, then try Firefox. How does it look in Safari? Then do the same thing on a tablet and a smartphone. If you don’t like what you find, at least you know what to focus on.

The final why

Ultimately what this all comes down to is you want a beautiful website that works on whatever browser people are using. You can’t bank on the fact people will only view your website using Safari and that means creating cross-browser compatibility.

Instead, your safest bet is to hire a web design company, maybe even a Charlotte web design company, and have them test these things. For more details check out https://www.websymphonies.com/how-to-create-a-cross-browser-compatible-website/

#web design near charlotte nc #wordpress website design charlotte nc #web design firms charlotte nc #website design charlotte north carolina #web developer charlotte

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oorpe · 2 years ago

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fuck certificate mills

Jesus Fuckballs Christ is ITIL certification a grift and a half. The job wants me to get certified on this basic ITIL 4 thingy. That means I have to install the official peoplecert proctoring spyware on the company laptop. Don’t really want to install god knows what surveillance crap on there but hey, not my property so fuck it. It’s not like they haven’t already breached our entire organization with this shitty software. I wouldn’t trust it but again, not my call. I already took the training course last spring, but I’ve been putting off scheduling the exam because I can’t stand reading the intentionally confusing jargon and nested, byzantine multi-level definitions of incredibly samey-sounding concepts. But alas, now I’ve officially run out of time on the test voucher I got last year. So I had to begrudgingly schedule the exam for the level 1 or whatever it was called for next week. I had the training a year ago as stated, but I doubt I’d remember any more had it been yesterday: the lecturer was absolute dogshit. It was in it’s entirety just a 2-day slog of him reading out poorly made powerpoint slides and me dozing off and leafing through the mock exams. It was the last thing I did before going on summer vacation last year. It sucked ass. So, as all good students do, I procrastinated until the last possible moment, and then started looking around the peoplecert website yesterday for the actual course materials. And holy fucking shit you guys, what shifty anti-user nonsense their little course book app is! It’s a characteristically clunky browser-based “ebook reader” that allows you to add bookmarks and highlights and annotations in limited capacity. It’s pretty bog-standard features-wise, but what really pissed me off about it was how it fucks with page printing in a really underhanded way. I usually print any longer reading materials out, partly because I can’t stay on task when reading off a computer screen, and partly because I just like it better that way. So I print my reading materials liberally, that’s why I bought the stupid laser printer after all. And let me tell you, this company fucking hates the fact that browsers let you print web pages out. There’s an in-app print to pdf prompt, sure. But this is actually a trap designed for maximum frustration. The in-app print option arbitrarily restricts printing to 2 pages at a time. There’s a 40-60s “progress bar” before the download starts (as expected, this is complete bullshit, it only sends a request for the pages after the timeout has elapsed.) The printed pages are unnecessarily rendered into incredibly poor quality .png with impairingly large and up-keyed incrimination-focused watermarks all across. Judging by what I gleamed from the http requests made, there’s a hidden cap on activating this “print” feature of a 100 activations, and this isn’t disclaimed, so you might spend hours trying to laboriously print out what you need to read, only for it to tell you to go eat a dick 90% through the book. In short, it’s the worst print button the world has ever known. I hate this print button with great passion. So, I figured, fuck that. I’ve used a browser before, I’ll just print from the browser prompt on every chapter (the app loads the book into view chapter by chapter) and that’s that. Well, not so fast! The browser’s print preview just shows a blank page with a shit-eating little <p>don’t you know it’s impossible to print html?!? what are you even doing you dog-brained fuckstick, now go use our awesome print feature little donkey</p> (paraphrasing only slightly) plastered on top.

Fuck me, these people really don’t want people reading their garbage book, huh.

Ok. Let’s dig a tiny bit deeper, what is it doing here?

It turns out that the app registers a few event handlers for the beforeprint event, so that when you open the browser’s print dialog, it can remove and re-add the main content iframe. That in turn displays only their little passive-aggressive message, until some logic clears it a moment later, and the actual chapter becomes visible. Of course, the browser’s print dialog tries to print the current state of the page, and only captures the single paragraph that is visible at that moment, hence the preview from before.

Well, that’s annoying and profoundly anti-user. Let’s continue. Eventually they have to give my browser workable markup in order to display this stupid thing, it’s just a matter of digging.

It turns out the chapters are rendered via two nested iframes (some other dickish obfuscation scheme I’d assume), so I grab the inner one and quickly look over the markup. Yup, fantastic, the buck stops here. I can just open the src= of the inner iframe in a new tab and use devtools to drop a few fuckery-inducing script tags and the style tag that hides the page contents initially. A presto, the chapter is suddenly entirely printable with minimal hassle! Someone really should let these people know that it’s actually not that hard to let their users print out this material. In fact it takes some pretty grifty fuckery to screw with a basic browser feature in this way! Anyway I didn’t actually read a goddamn word of the material because I was so pissed off about this comprehensively wrong-headed approach to basic accessibility. But I did manage to download and re-collate the stupid book into a single file today, which was naturally a lot more fun than reading their godawful business management wank, so all in all a decent day of “work”. At least I’ll have the materials fucking accessible for the inevitable round 2 after I botch this stupid exam.

#personal #griping about work

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lustbile · 3 years ago

Note

Perhaps can we get a mark or Jaemin mutual masturbation?

I went with jaemin because I like him a lot right now and I cant help that so I hope you like it

Warning: mutual masturbation, jaemin being weird, and ambiguous ending

——

“What do you mean you haven’t seen it!” Jaemin gasps dramatically as he roughly slaps your thigh, his eyes wide as if he’s not asking you something incredibly stupid.

“Well I am so sorry that I haven’t seen this one random porn, Jaemin,” you retort, moving to pinch roughly at the back of his hand as it still rests on your leg, “I’ll try a lot harder next time.”

“It just seems like something that would be right up your alley,” he shrugs, reminding you how weird your relationship with him. Being so comfortable with your best friend that you didn’t just know each other kinks, but you knew them enough that he was comfortable giving you porn recommendations, “I thought you might have found it on your own, you know since I’m sure you’re masturbating on the daily you fucking pervert.”

You slap him harshly on the arm this time, feeling only slightly satisfied from the way he flinched and curved away as he also let out a deep laugh. You don’t move from your spot though, leaning into his side as your legs are draped over his, but instead you just pull his arm closer to your chest as you mumble under your breath with a pout.

“Here, I’ll just show you,” he starts as if what he suggests is normal as he leans over to grab his laptop. He lays the device next to his legs and flips it open, logging in and opening his browser before he turns the screen to face you both.

“Alright this is a bit far,” you rush to say, “like, even for us this is too much. I know we’re weird but we can’t be this weird.”

You try to shut his computer with your foot, starting a small fight with him as he slaps at your ankle and you land a few kicks to his forearm, but with a particularly stinging slap to the top of your foot, you pull away with a hiss.

“What’s weird about it?” he asks so genuinely that it makes you reel back in confusion, “I’ve watched porn with Jeno before.”

“That’s not normal either Jaemin,” you roll your eyes as you see him open the link he had bookmarked, “you and Jeno are both fucking weirdos.”

“Listen,” he starts once the website loads, the thumbnail image of a woman with her head tilted over the edge of a bed with a man fucking her with his hand around her throat burning into your eyes, “it’s not weird if it’s with your bros.”

“Bro code doesn’t work here, idiot,” you huff, crossing your arms as your nerves eat at you when he hovers the cursor over the play button, “I don’t know what goes on in your head.”

“Same thing that goes on in yours,” he smiles brightly, “that’s why I know you’ll like this video; we’re into almost the exact same things. So do you want to see it or not?”

You want to say no. You want to tell him to close his laptop and stop being a freak, but him reminding you about your similar kinks shuts you up. Of course you’ve thought about how your incredibly attractive best friend was very sexually compatible with you, and it had made you consider more than just a few times what it would be like to hook up with him. But him putting those thoughts back into your mind now, when he has a porn video pulled up and ready to play, made you twitch and squirm.

“Play it before I change my mind,” you spit out, your curiosity pushing out any rational thinking you should have.

He bounces in excitement at your words, his hand stumbling and making him miss the play button the first few times he tries to hit it. But finally he does, and without any mental preparation, your ears are hit with the sounds of pleasured moans and the slapping of skin.

The woman’s face is flushed red as she’s being fucked, the man’s hand squeezing tightly around her throat. He fucks into her so deeply with his other hand circling so quickly over her clit, you do have to admit it does light a fire in your body.

There’s an immediate tension in the room as Jaemin leans away from the laptop, his hand that doesn’t already rest on your thigh moving to wrap around your shin. The skin under his hands feels like it’s on fire, the usually familiar feeling of his palms against you feeling so much more present as he brushes his thumbs softly against you. Part of you wants to pull away from him, to get the burning heat of him off of your already burning body, but instead you stay frozen, watching the video with wide eyes.

The groan Jaemin lets out when the man in the video moves the hand he has around the woman’s neck to slap her makes you jump, the sudden noise breaking the silence that you’ve both fallen into bringing you back to the reality of the situation as you quickly glance towards him. Unfortunately, Jaemin was right and the video is something you’d watch in your own time, and you were having to push down the arousal that was taking over your brain, but it gets even more overwhelming once you get a glimpse of the way his face shows his own arousal so blatantly.

You try to discreetly shift as your thighs tense together as you glance back at the screen, your hands that you now notice are wrapped around his arm holding him tighter. But when your legs tilt closer to his chest, you can’t ignore his bulge that now brushes harder against your calf.

You try to pretend you don’t notice, you even lie to yourself that you were imagining things. But ultimately you should have expected something like this to happen the second he picked up the laptop.

You shift again once you feel the way your underwear sticks to your body, trying to make yourself more comfortable while also trying to avoid brushing against his crotch again, but he shifts his own hips at the exact moment you move, accidentally pressing himself directly against you.

You jump again when he swears from the friction of your leg pressing the fabric of his sweatpants against his length, his hands tightening around your leg as he tries not to push you away or bring you any closer. You two freeze in place, his eyes wide as they slowly trail up to lock onto your’s, as if he’s within his right to be shocked by the outcome of the situation.

You just stare at one another, frozen, holding each other as the obscene noises continue in the background. You notice the bright blush that spreads across his cheeks and over his ears, and for a split second, endearment wraps around your chest and drowns out the arousal and anxiety that fight in your belly. The feelings come back though when he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, and you notice his eyes darting quickly across your face and you feel his hips twitching again.

“Are you…” he starts, his voice cracking slightly before he clears his throat, “do you like… the video?”

You both cringe slightly at his awkward question, nervous laughs bubbling from both of your chests.

“Uhh yeah, sure,” you nod, your muscles tensing as you try to not lean closer to him, “great recommendation on your part, Jaem.”

“Cool,” he nods, his eyes opening and closing slowly as he thinks, “would you say… that you’re turned on right now?”

“I mean-“

“Because,” he starts again, cutting you off as he nervously spills his words out quickly, “obviously I am,” he nods down to where his legs press over his hips, “I was just wondering how you were… you know… what’s going on in your world?”

“You were right in thinking I’d like it,” you start hesitantly, nodding and holding eye contact with him, even though everything in your body and mind was screaming at you to look away, “maybe I’ll um, you know watch it later… when I have the time.”

“I mean, you’re watching it right now,” he says as if you need to be reminded of the woman’s loud moaning spilling from his laptop’s speakers, “and we don’t really have anything that we have to do today,” he shrugs as if what he’s hinting at is normal, but considering where you sit now, you guess Jaemin’s definition of normal is worlds different than yours.

“What are you getting at Jaemin?” You ask, knowing exactly what he’s getting at.

“I‘ll say exactly what I’m getting at if you promise you won’t think I’m weird.”

“We’re already way past that Jaemin,” you scoff, rolling your eyes as he playfully frowns in defeat, “I’ve thought you were weird the day I met you, so just spit it out already.”

“Okay, okay, damn,” he shifts again, digging his blunt nails into your skin, “if I’m turned on,” he explains slowly, glancing down towards his crotch again as he speaks, “and you’re turned on… then maybe we can don’t have to just sit here all turned on.”

“So do you want to stand up and be turned on?” You tease him, your straight expression breaking into a grin when he groans and throws his head back in irritation before looking at you again.

“No, you idiot,” he spits the name you used on him earlier back at you, “I’m saying, if you think you’d be okay with it, that we could maybe just take care of our own business. You know, get ourselves off right here, right now, and go about our day.”

“Is that also something that you’ve done with Jeno?” You teasingly ask, hoping sarcasm will cover the nervous shake to your voice.

“No,” he answers quickly, “but I’d do it with you.”

You notice he gets so caught up in his defenses, that he says more than he meant to, and him specifying that he wants to do this with you makes your chest burn as your heartbeat picks up. The suggestion is a lot more tempting than you’d like to admit, and even though the anxious voice in the back of your mind screams about how it may ruin your friendship, you can’t ignore the way your palms itch to sneak under the fabric of your shorts.

“Wouldn’t it make things kind of weird?” You ask quietly, watching the way he perks up when it’s clear that you’re at least considering it.

“Not if we don’t let it,” he encourages, trying to stay calm as he shrugs his shoulders casually, “one time thing, right? Two hot best friends getting off together, what’s the harm in that?”

There’s a lot of harm in that, you think, your brain spinning around about a million different horrible outcomes as you watch the way he leans back. He takes his hand off your calf, leaving the other to squeeze at your thigh, and you swallow harshly when you watch him place his palm gently on his stomach.

“I,” you start before you let out a deep sigh through your nose, your thighs tensing as you realize how much more aroused you’ve become at the suggestion, “I guess once won’t hurt anything.”

“Alright, cool,” he says with clear excitement in his voice, but he doesn’t move an inch.

You both stay still for a moment, waiting for the other to make a move, until finally you release his arm to lean back towards his bedroom wall and shift until you rest against it comfortably. You don’t move your legs completely off of his, you just shift them down slightly so he has room to do what he pleases, because you tell yourself you don’t want to pull away in the chance that he takes it as a sign of hesitation. In reality, you don’t move, because you don’t think you’ll have the confidence if not for some small form of contact with him.

You try to move your eyes back to the screen when he slowly moves his hand down to grope at his crotch, the small noises coming from his nose and mouth at the contact making your body heat up again. Luckily, the video Jaemin picked was something you really liked, so for a moment as you spread your legs apart and run your hands up your thighs, you are fully distracted by the couple on the screen.

You hesitantly start running your fingers against the seat of your shorts, the small amount of friction against your sensitive skin making you let out a small sigh. You assume Jaemin is in a similar position, but you refuse to look at him out of fear that you won’t be able to look away.

You hear a shifting of the fabric of his sweatpants, followed by a quiet hiss as you assume he finally touches himself without the barrier of his clothing. The sound makes your jaw clench, and as your eyes go glassy as you stare mindlessly at the screen, you wiggle your hand down your shorts as you listen to the minute sounds your best friend makes beside you.

All he lets out are small puffs of air, enough to make you clench around nothing as you use your fingers to spread yourself open. The amount of arousal that’s built against your skin was apparent just from how your underwear stuck to your skin, but regardless, when you feel how easily your fingers slip against your body, you let out a rattling gasp. The noise feels so loud even with the blaring video in front of you, and with it, you’re reminded that one of Jaemin’s hands remains on your thigh when he grabs you tightly.

You try to ignore it as you try to focus on your fingers dipping shallowly into your entrance before you circle them against your clit, but the feeling of his rough palm is frustrating as all you can think about is his fingers doing the work instead.

You let out a small puff of air as your shoulders and thighs shift from the slowly building pleasure you feel between your legs, and as if setting off a chain reaction, Jaemin also lets out a gruff noise that makes your ears jump. You surprisingly stop yourself from looking over when he lets out the noise, but when you feel his fist bump against your leg as he lets out a much louder swear, you can’t stop your curious eyes from darting over to him.

You do good, only looking at his face, but when you see that he was seemingly intently staring at you already, you move your eyes down to avoid his glare. It’s then you see that he’s pulled himself from his pants, and you get the shocking look at his length gripped tightly in his moving fist.

You had already known Jaemin was at least slightly bigger than average, the few times you had accidentally seen him naked being burnt into your mind for a while now. The times he’s forgotten you were there after he got out of the shower, the handful of times Jeno pantsed him without knowing he was not wearing underwear, and then the time he pantsed himself when he forgot he, again, was not wearing underwear. These events haunted you on the daily, but they gave you as much information that you assumed you’d ever get to work off of. But it’s now it dawns on you, that those were when he was just flaccid, and now as you see him fully hard, you realize you didn’t give him as much credit as he clearly deserved.

You try not to drool as you watch him as he leans back casually and moves his hand slowly. He twists his wrists every once in a while, and every time he does he follows it with a soft groan and twitching hips. The sight makes even more wetness spill from your body, and even though you look back to his face a lot sooner than it had felt like, you can’t get the image out of your mind.

You want to apologize as you look up towards his flushed face again, but you’re lost for words when you see he no longer lets his eyes linger on your face. Instead his jaw hangs slightly open, his eyes squinting as if he’s concentrating, as he stares shamelessly at the way your hand continues to move beneath your shorts.

He notices the way your fingers speed up, and you watch as his eyebrows furrow at the small squeak of surprise you let out. You watch nervously as his eyes slowly move up the length of your body, and when you make eye contact again, you feel like you both must look insane as you just stare with slightly hanging jaws.

Your legs squirm across his lap from how much closer you feel just at the way he stares at you, and when he pulls your thigh until it presses against his shoulder you grumble in frustration. He has you spread wider now, your hips moving rapidly as he goes from looking into your eyes to staring at your hand as it moves against you, and every time he glances down against your hand fumbles slightly as you try desperately to get closer to the edge.

The video that still plays goes completely ignored by the both of you as you both bring yourself to your finish, the sound getting drowned out by the huffs and sighs you both let out. It’s at the first whisper you let out of his name though, that makes Jaemin’s eyes focus in again before he nods to let you know that you have his attention.

“Are you close?” He asks in a rough voice, breaking first when all you offer him is a soft pout. You nod rapidly when he presses his mouth against your knee with a chaste kiss, and at the movement, Jaemin’s face is filled with a pleased grin.

Your hips start thrusting gently into your hand as you glance back down at the way he plays with himself, his fingers now moving to tease over his tip before he takes advantage of your change of attention to push him hand against the underside of his shaft until he presses against the side of your calf. The slick feeling of his skin against yours makes you gasp, and the idea of him being able to use such a meaningless part of your body to get off as he starts to thrust between your flesh and his palm, makes you feel like your head may spin off.

He looks amazing, you decide. Just the way he leans back so casually, his hair falling into his face as he fucks himself against your leg as he stares between your thighs. He has always been able to find a way to drive you wild since the day he decided you two were friends, but this was a completely different level, that you never thought in a million years that you’d get to.

“Wanna see you come,” he tells you, his eyes locking onto your briefly, “can you come for me?”

“Yeah,” you say quietly as you get closer and closer. You do want to come for him, even if the idea scares you more than the suggestion of watching the porn ever did, and when he swears as more of his pre-come starts sticking to the skin of your leg, you feel like you’re only seconds away from following through with your promise.

You abuse your clit roughly as your back arches away from the wall, and you think your legs would have slammed shut if it wasn’t for the way he holds onto one so tightly. Your eyes move manically over his entire form, going from his fluttering eyes to his moving hips over and over, but when you feel an intense tingling start up your spine, you lock your eyes onto the way his face screws up in pleasure.

You take in a sharp breath of air, and Jaemin takes this as his warning as he moves to lock his eyes onto yours for the last time. And it’s when he nods in encouragement, and scratches his blunt nails against your skin, that the knot that was tightening in your belly finally snaps, and you come with shaking legs.

He follows quickly behind, his own orgasm hitting as he watches your face and body twist in pleasure. His hips stutter quickly as he continues to press against your leg, and as he bites roughly into his bottom lip and swears through his teeth, his come shoots out and up the side of your leg.

He clings his fingers tighter against you as you both come, your hand mirroring his as it grasps for something to hold until it lands on the bend of his knee. You both just shake slightly, your breathing becoming labored as you try to get your bearings, and the feeling of his come sticking to your skin making you feel dizzy.

You switch between avoiding his gaze and burning holes into the side of his skull with your eyes when you feel yourself finally start to calm down, both your breathing still heavy as you both just cling to one another in such an awkward way. The video comes to a finish as you sit there collecting your thoughts, and when you sit in silence, you try to sit and stay as stationary as you can possibly manage.

Jaemin’s tongue clicking is what breaks you from your daze, and when you look at him again with gentler eyes, you see an awkward but happy smile pulling at his lips. You want to deny the calm that washes over your body at such a simple sight, maybe even pretend that your entire world is shattered and completely different, but when he looks up at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes, you can’t help but to match the soft laughter he breaks into.

#Nct smut #jaemin smut #nct blurb #jaemin blurb #kpop smut #ask

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frostironfudge · 3 years ago

Text

I Think I Met You In My Dreams Once - Bucky Barnes - Four

Summary: After receiving an honourable discharge from his military service that was caused by the loss of his arm, James Barnes begins to come to terms with several things. He also finds solace in youtube videos, memes and on social media, where he happens to find you.

Pairing: Ex-Military!Bucky Barnes x Fem! Plus Size!Reader (Modern AU)

Chapter Warnings: angst, fluff, phone sex, smut, mutual masturbation, dirty talk, PTSD mentioned, nightmares, active communication between a couple, long distance relationship, timezones, praise kink, size kink if you squint (you won't have to though if you catch my drift)(take me away from this hellsite)

A.N.: posting the chapter early because @thousandnighstwhithmammon convinced me with cute gifs

Word Count: 6212 Dividers: @firefly-graphics

Fic Masterlist || Main Masterlist || AO3 || Fic Playlist

Chapter Three || Chapter Five

Bucky was determined, looking at flowers and chocolates on a website that delivered the same to where you were. He made a face at some of the floral arrangements and the teddy bear in one wasn’t upto mark for his girl.

My girl. He grinned as he repeated the two words in his mind. Even though you were miles and miles away from him. You were his and he was yours.

Bucky groans as he looks at the red teddy bear, why can’t it be brown? He needed to find a cute memorabilia that could serve as a comforting reminder of him. In the event you couldn’t speak to each other regularly. Or in the event he pissed you off and the bear could ease your anger.

Also red teddy bears are just one step away from being possessed. Why did they look so dead inside?

He decides upon just flowers and chocolates for now adding them to cart and putting in your address he sneaked off from Steve who snuck it from Natasha.

Unbeknownst to him you did the same of sneaking his address of off Natasha who snuck it from Steve.

The two of them did roll their eyes and had a eight minute back and forth about how you both could just be upfront. But nope, sneaking addresses is what was being done. They allowed it simply because the two of you were like little excited babies and the gleam in both of your eyes was precious.

While you stared at the websites that has a lot to offer to send your man. You giggle to yourself and blush, my man. You repeat it feeling giddy. Would he appreciate this weird gift set? Also what even was this happiness box?

You shut the entire browser window. You are erasing your browser history. Maybe dousing your eyes in holy water. God the image of the lube and flesh light and dildo was still stuck in your head.

Extravaganza of Male Happiness.

The perfect gift for your man.

“You found a sex based website didn’t you?” Natasha laughs at your incredulous expression.

“Please I’m worried and scarred.” You plead, your only other idea was flowers and the chocolate he had mentioned he really loves.

“Just go with your first idea.” Nat says, “You want it to reach for the first date right? So you have only today to decide.”

“First idea is flowers, I think we spoke about it, he’s never gotten flowers and I want to change that.” You admit, opening up the sample arrangements of cat safe flowers that you had shortlisted the previous night.

“I think he’d like any of these.” She comments opening up her notebook as the professor enters and you put away your phone while retrieving your own notebook.

Bucky wipes his hand on his jeans, why is this so nerve wracking? He’s spoken to you through the screen several times yet this one pulses his nerves.

Briefly he wonders if this lunch/dinner date will workout.

All thoughts go out the window when his laptop screen comes to life with your incoming call. Shakily he accepts after checking his headphones being connected for the fiftieth time.

“Hi,”

Bucky grins as your voice greets his ears while the screen loads up.

“Hi Doll.” He greets, giving you his brightest smile when the screens do load.

You beam equally bright at him.

“You look, very very handsome.” You blurt out, then blush, he’s wearing a light blue button down.

“If you think I look handsome, you should see my date she’s breathtaking.” Bucky grins more as he notices your shyness coming forth.

“Well you gotta take a deep breath, cause I’m about to show you my outfit.” You say as you stand from the chair fixing the sundress you picked out, it matched his shirt by chance.

“So its a lunch date?” Bucky grins, admiring you as you stand back, god wireless headphones are a boon.

“Yes, dinner dates have other outfits. ” You do a small twirl and the hem of the dress moves along with the movement.

“You look gorgeous, doll. You keep taking my breath away.” He grins and you settle down onto your chair again.

“Thank you, now your turn, I wanna see what are you wearing.” You clap your hands in excitement and he laughs, standing up and heading to the end of his room.

“Well, this is a blue button down but I’m pretty sure Pantone has a specific name for this shade. I’m wearing beige pants.” He walks closer to the screen doing a supermodel stance with his hand on his hip and your laugh makes him grin with the corner of his eyes getting crinkles. That, that was your favourite smile on him.

Bucky’s phone chimes and he gets excited.

“What? Did the application get accepted?” You also get excited for him.

“Go open your door.” Is all he says, you look back at him confused.

“Why?”

“Just go open it.” He only smiles, then his door bell rings as does yours.

Bucky narrows his eyes at you.

“You should open your door.” You wiggle your brows then laugh. The two of you get up from your chairs in sync and head to the respective doors.

Bucky is going to cry, he carefully sets down the vase of sunflowers near the door before grabbing the other box the delivery personnel hands to him and he returns to the room holding the vase with ease and the box tucked under his arms.

You look away from your own flowers and chocolates and gulp, that vase you knew was heavy, and yet Bucky was holding it with ease.

“Seems like we both had the same idea.” He grins while setting the contents down on his desk.

“I um, they are safe even if Alpine might try to nip at them, I checked five blogs to confirm. Um, thats not the only reason I picked them, you know how sunflowers turn towards where the sun is?” You pause waiting for Bucky to respond but he only looks at you with an incomprehensible emotion.

“Did, are you allergic?” Panic laces your voice, “Do you have your epipen?”

“No, no, I’m not allergic, I, well no one has ever given me flowers. I just, and you even thought of Alpine. Thank you. I love them.”

You gaze at him softly, the panic evaporating.

“I’m glad you liked them—,”

“Love them, doll, i love them, thank you. Did, did you like yours?” Bucky shifts running his hand through his hair, nervous. Should he have bought the red teddy?

You pick up your vase and hold it while grinning at him. Bucky takes a screenshot, unable to help himself.

“I love them, these are Alstroemerias, a type of Lily, right?” You confirm admiring the pink hues across the petals.

Bucky nods, “Yeah, I um, Peruvian Lily. Is the other name.” Pink ones symbolise friendships turned love but he’s going to not say that. Yet. He thinks it would make you leave the video call in one second.

“They’re beautiful, James. Thank you. Now you need to hold yours so I have a picture too.” You narrow your eyes at him, catching his sneaky screenshot skill.

“You caught that?” He scratches the back of his neck, then grabs his vase and you try not to drool at his strength.

“Take a picture baby, it will last longer.” Bucky smirks as you get flustered, quickly taking your own screenshot.

He winks at you before setting the flowers back in their place.

“So, what has the lady ordered for herself?” He rests his chin on his palm.

“Well, I went with something simple, penne in an Alfredo sauce with chicken. For the appetiser I think I ordered,” You rummage through the bag, “ah yes, Mozzarella cheese sticks, they were out of the other things ooh anddd they gave free garlic bread.” You tease him holding up the free bread.

Bucky’s jaw drops then he looks absolutely offended, “I had to pay for my bread. But we’re sharing the apps because,” He holds up the take out container housing his own mozzarella cheese sticks. You grin.

“For main we have lasagna.” He holds up the container, grinning and you can almost smell the melted cheese and herbs.

“I wish I could steal some through the screen.” You pout.

“Joey doesn’t share food.” He shakes his head, playfully taking the container away from the screen.

“I thought you said you’re Chandler.” You accuse him getting offended because you’ve been deemed as Monica by everyone you know and were holding out hope to find your own Chandler.

“Well I am your Chandler but in matters of food, I can be your Joey.” He grins, you shake your head laughing. His little ‘your’ before the character’s name tugs at your heart.

“So apps first and we can begin our first date.” He tries to plate them up as nicely as possible. Once he’s done he watches you plate up, you look up at him licking the melted cheese from your finger. You watch as his tongue runs over his bottom lip. Bucky takes a steadying inhale. It’s unfair how you’re so far away.

He clears his throat, “So um,”

“You’re a bite behind Barnes.” You chuckle taking a bite of the food and he follows suit.

“You’re in a very happy banter-y mood, I absolutely am enjoying it.” He comments.

“Well I am in company of someone who enjoys happy banter-y-ness.”

“You are yes.”

Much to both of your relief, the first date isn’t all that different to your usual conversations just the topics are lighter. No heavy stuff about family, his time with the military, more so getting to know each other and already talking about the potential second date.

“Wait, wait, wait.” You hold up both your hands trying to not choke on your food before laughing.

“You guys visited a farm in grade one,” You repeat.

“Yes a farm, cute animals cows and all.” He shakes his head at the memory.

“And you carried chocolate milk, and emptied it into the milk bucket of the brown cow?” You confirm, watching his shoulders shake in delight at the memory of the prank he pulled.

“Steve lost his mind when he saw the milk.” Bucky’s laugh was warmth embracing you, pulling you in, keeping you next to him.

“And no one found out? Not even the person in-charge or your teacher?” You ask and he just shakes his head laughing.

“No one could do anything the principal came in to the class the next day worried, when parents called her up, because every single kid said chocolate milk comes from brown cows.” Bucky’s eyes widen in fear recreating his scared expression then laughing again.

“Oh my god.” You wipe the tear that is about to escape still giggling as you both try to calm down from the story.

“Hey you’ve got a little Alfredo…” Bucky points on his own face to direct you.

“Oh um,” you try to swipe it, not looking at the small picture of you just looking at him for guidance.

“Other side doll,” Bucky’s hand reaches out then he retracts it when it collides with the screen.

You both grow quiet. Using the tissue and finally seeing yourself in the small box helps clean up the stray sauce.

It was safe to say that the biggest con of wanting to long distance date was not being able to do the typical romantic movie things. Or even just hold hands.

“What do you have for dessert?” You bite your lip, hoping the night/day wasn’t ruined.

“Tiramisu.” Bucky shoves away the annoying thought of not being able to touch you, he knew what you both were signing up for when the line between friendship and something more was being blurred.

“Once again we share dessert.” You smile, he does as well. The earlier tension fading away into nothingness.

As the date slowly moves towards its end, Bucky contemplates asking about the second date or voicing his concern over how would you both manage if this does turn into something more?

“James?” You furrow your brow thinking his frame’s frozen.

“James?” You tilt your head, as he blinks but doesn’t respond lost in thought.

He knows if you both try hard enough this will be something beautiful and distance? That could be closed with a flight or visiting when it was feasible for the two of you.

“Bucky?” You try and he finally looks up.

“Doll?” He furrows his brows, confusion lacing his voice.

“You, what is on your mind?” You enquire, sitting up a bit more.

“Nothing—,”

“Bucky.” You reprimand.

“I was just—, I don’t want to end the date on a sour note. Forget it, it can be discussed later.” He gives a halfhearted smile.

“James, for this to work we need to communicate openly.” You remind him, he feels his heart squeeze as your voice grows quiet and worry colours your features.

“I’m,” He exhales, biding time to find the right words, “I wanted to ask about our second date… I know we both work out the timings and the food and everything but like during dinner I wanted to reach out and your hands twitched to reach out as well. I know what we have is something special and so worth the painful distance but I worry, what if one of us stops trying?” He airs out his concerns.

“You aren’t putting a sour note on the date let me clear that up for you.” You give him a small smile.

“It is at the back of my head too. Not able to cup your face, feel your hand intertwined with mine or feed you a bite of my food or steal a bite from yours by way of getting you to feed me. There is quiet a lot we won’t be able to do, but I think we both know each other enough to be honest with one another. It is possible we could stop trying but the other one can fight for the two of us, try and save what we have.” You let him process your words.

“I don’t want it to come to that, to fight or make the other stay if it’s difficult. I know its just been one date, but do you think you would be willing to take this on for a longer term? I’m not saying it has to go this way, there is a possibility where we both could agree a friendship is better” He hopes it won’t come to the latter, its hardly been three and a half months since he knows you, and one week since you both have decided to step into dating. He doesn’t want to give it up.

“Okay, lets, lets think about one thing that we can control? Because I feel our what ifs are getting to us deeply.” You advise and his azure eyes are hopeful for something.

“Okay. What is it?” He drums his finger along his desk.

“This moment, the present, today, our date, our flowers for each other. Us. Here. Face to face in a way. The distance is a big factor but we have things at our disposal to somewhat take that away.” You say, hoping he understands.

“If we just consider today then yes, what we have is something worth dealing with the distance. I don’t care about that when I have you.” He gazes at you, blue eyes locked in on yours and he takes your name before saying words that wrap around your heart,

“You’re worth the distance.” He blinks back the tears as his chest feels much lighter at the truth.

“You’re worth the distance too.” A tear escapes past your eyes and you quickly wipe it away.

“Look at me, making my date cry.” He chuckles dryly, you give a huff of a laughter.

“Happy tears.” You look back at him from your hands.

Reaching out you run a knuckle over his cheek. Bucky tilts his head as if leaning into your touch, making you smile.

“One day you will do that in person.” He promises.

“One day you will be able to twirl me.” You promise.

“And then kiss you.” He adds, much too cheekily.

“Cheeky.” You playfully roll your eyes.

“You enjoy my cheekiness.” He retorts easing you both into the playful banter before you both say your goodbyes.

Bucky lays on his bed, eyes on the sunflowers and he can’t wipe the smile off of his face.

His phone buzzes, he sits up to retrieve it from his desk.

He reads your message from the notification tab.

@.watchingthemoonlight:

i had a lovely date, can’t wait for our next one.

Bucky falls back down onto the bed with an even wider grin on his face.

“Doll!” Bucky calls out, you hurry back from the kitchen.

“Coming!” You call out then hiss as your door handle collides into your hip.

“You okay?” He looks worried, the usual size of his screen smaller since he’s added his phone to the video-call.

“Yeah that just hurts like a bitch.” You rub the sore spot, today was date number ten, coinciding with a new upload from your collective favourite ghoul boys, which meant you’re awake way past 3 a.m to watch it with Bucky.

You yawn again and he shakes his head.

“No, don’t you dare.” You warn him.

“I didn’t say anything!” He raises his hands in defence.

“Yet.” You look at him in disdain.

“Okay, yet” he agrees, “We could have watched this at a better hour.”

“And miss this episode? Bucky are you even my boyfriend?” You shake your head.

“I am concerned about my girlfriend’s wellbeing and sleep pattern. Which I have told her about on several occasions.” He reprimands using his stern voice and if it wasn’t for the moot point his voice would have had you clenching your thighs.

Bucky smirks catching the slight change in your sleepiness, almost a month since your first date but he had caught onto your subtle reactions to some of his teasing.

That was another change that happened after several (fifteen very lovely dates and communication with meticulously planned timezone dates making sure all dates alternated between day and night). Bucky had sent flowers on one random Thursday morning with a brown teddy bear having papers tucked in an envelope under the teddy’s arms.

Page One

@.bbarnes has sent you a message

Page Two

@.bbarnes:

after fifteen beautiful dates with the gorgeous woman who has only certainly arrived right from my dreams, i want to ask her to be my girlfriend, should i do it?

Page Three

@.bbarnes:

Okay here goes, i’m asking her, god wait shit where is the flower?

Page Four

A hand drawn Lily with it being painted with the pink hues from the first bouquet he ever gave you.

Page Five

@.bbarnes:

give me a call please? don’t bother about the time.

And so you did, it was three-thirty a.m for him. Bucky with sleep hair all half raised on various sides and sleep ridden eyes and a sweet sleepy smile upon seeing you. You melted right there.

“I see you got my bear.” He smiles as you hold it up for him, “Press his right paw.”

You set the phone down and press the paw.

“Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?” The voice box from the bear speaks in Bucky’s voice and you have to hold back tears.

“Its a one time press only, but I want to ask again, will you be my girlfriend?” He worries his bottom lip, you hug the bear tightly.

“James, I will be your girlfriend, yes.” You beam at him and Bucky swears you just broke the record for happiest day of his life. He does a mini dance and you can see Alpine giving him a bored look in the background and going off to sleep again.

Your heart surges, James, your James, your Bucky is now your boyfriend. God you need to squeal and tell Natasha. You need to be calm.

You both just adore each other and he shifts from sitting to propping his phone against the pillows and laying down.

“You need to sleep, Bucky.” You watch as his eyes fight to close.

“I’m awake, my girlfriend is on the phone.” He grins sleepily and you take a screenshot.

“She’s worried about her boyfriend’s sleep patterns.” You say and in the dim light you can still make out the red tinge across his skin.

“Your boyfriend’s a lucky guy, has you.” Bucky’s eyelids flutter close. Slowly his breathing evens out.

You shake your head setting the phone in your pocket after murmuring goodnight.

His eyes open wide in panic when you squeal and run to Nat who was in the kitchen and excitedly tell her what Bucky did, and he smiles as he hears the excitement and emotion in your voice.

“Doll.” He calls out.

“Hey Doll.” He laughs when he hears you adoring the bear.

“Oh god, oh god, I thought i ended the call when you fell asleep.” You facepalm as you hear his laugh. Natasha laughs as you exit the kitchen throwing a banana to her head which she catches before it does the minimal damage.

“And have me miss the cutest reaction?” Bucky raises an eyebrow, “No way.”

“I’m so happy, I just, I’ve, you know right?” You remind him about the conversation about previous relationships over your weight and shape.

“Don’t have to worry about that with me, beautiful. I absolutely adore my doll.” He sends over a flying kiss and you catch it.

You give him a flying kiss and well and he catches it and does a full show of placing it in his pocket.

So now Bucky has a plan to keep you distracted and awake. The timer for the premiere shifts to one minute and Bucky begins talking about the latest batch of coding but you can’t pay attention because he’s doing that thing.

That thing with his fingers and lips and face where all you can do is watch, as he moves his fingers over his lips, along his five o clock shadow and jaw. Oh he knows what he’s doing. He knows.

Something about python is being said but you couldn’t really pay attention.

The teasing had been back and forth, which had only started one day when he send you a video from the gym, so in reality he started it.

The video was of a floor press and he even send you the three digits on the dumbbell that he was raising up against gravity and your jaw was on the floor.

And naturally, naturally your brain malfunctioned and typed out a nsfw response and send it before you could do anything and he read it before you could unsend it. Bucky smirked he didn’t know you have such a filthy mind.

He knew the dirty jokes or the innuendos but that one sentence had him imagining what he would do to you. Solely based on the message you sent which started the whole teasing back and forth. So according to him you started it.

You bite your lip as he moves his fingers over his neck and then back to his lips.

“Doll? Did you hear what I asked?” He raises one eyebrow cockily. He knows you didn’t hear shit. You aren’t even paying attention that the show has started.

“I um, yeah…” you lie, what was the harm.

“Really, doll, did you really hear me?” His voice dips in baritone, deep and rich that surges through you.

You keen, shaking your head to admit you did not comprehend a word.

“Oh Doll, what am I going to do with you? Maybe I should let you run your lips wherever my fingers just were, you want to do that don’t you?” He questions, he’s removed the third screen so now its only you and him.

You swallow dryly.

“Tell me, or should I have my lips on your skin?” He smirks as you shiver at the prospect.

He was going to take this slow, these were uncharted waters for the two of you, a new aspect of your relationship.

“Use your words, baby.” He prompts again.

“Y-yes.” You squeak out.

“Yes what doll? You want to explore my skin? Or you want me to explore yours? Tell me, tell me exactly how you want this to go. If you want to stop let me know.” He watches you intently azure eyes deepening with lust for you.

“Want, I want to explore your skin.” You say, he smiles.

“Good girl, so good for me. Where would you start from?” He puts the phone down where you can still see him clearly.

“From your temple, trail them to your jaw.” You inform, watching as he closes his eyes and tracings his index and middle finger along where you’ve spoken of your lips.

“Keep going.” He instructs and you feel your clit pulse.

“Both sides of your neck, then along the v of the t-shirt and,”

He opens his eyes, his chest rising and falling a little quicker.

“I’d, I’d take off your shirt.” You say, and watch as he takes off his shirt.

“Feel so soft against my skin, baby. So hard for you.” He praises, you feel yourself grow wetter as he trails his hand over his upper body as you say, even over the scars that you would kiss. His dog tags glimmer against his skin. Your eyes drinking in every bit of him.

“You’re beautiful,” You breathe as you admire him, every surface of him just breathtaking.

You squirm when he smirks, “Will you do as I say doll? Will you be a good girl for me? Pleased me so well.” He says and watches as you bite your lip, nodding eagerly.

“Only with you. Trust you completely.” You tell him and he smiles warmly.

“Thank you for trusting me, Doll.” He watches as you shift nervously in anticipation.

“Set the phone down,” You maintain eye contact as you set down your phone but keeping your upper body in frame.

“Run your left hand’s fingers along your jaw, eyes closed.” Bucky instructs. You follow, a small whimper escaping as your skin heats at his words.

“Slowly undo the buttons of your PJs, such beautiful skin, can’t wait to mark it as mine, you’d like that wouldn’t you? Me littering your skin with love-bites, letting everyone know you’re mine.”

“Yes, please.” You whimper at his words.

“Go on play with your nipples get them hard for me.” Bucky watches, as your shirt falls halfway off your shoulders, the light illuminating you oh so beautifully. He wishes he was there; exploring your skin with his hand and mouth.

“Look at you so pretty, so fucking beautiful, following everything I say, are you wet for me baby? Go on, check.” He coaxes you and you run your fingers along your slick folds, whimpering you nod.

“Gotta show me baby, need to see how wet you’ve gotten for me.”

You watch his arm move to unbuckle his jeans he moves his hand along his cock, hissing at the contact and then groaning as he watches your fingers glisten in the light.

“All for me?”

“All for you, James.”

He groans again, “Touch yourself baby, tell me what do you want me to do?”

You begin to circle your clit, a mewl escaping your lips. Your skin flushed, Bucky watches as your breasts rise and fall with each breath.

“Such pretty sounds, bet I could make you scream louder with just my fingers inside you. You would like that right? Fuck just thinking about your warm, tight cunt makes me want to cum, but gotta hold off need to make you feel good.” he says, “go on, make faster circles over your clit, gather your slick.”

You follow every word.

“Flick your nipples, keep them hard.”

Your back arches at the sensations, heat blooms in your stomach as you feel your orgasm building. You watch Bucky with hooded eyes his movements gaining momentum. Whimpers and soft moans of his name.

“Look at you, so beautiful, so fucking beautiful and those pretty little sounds, fuck.”

“Want; want my mouth around your cock.” You say and Bucky groans.

“Fuck, baby, you look so pretty, you’re close aren’t you? Go on trace the letters of my name on your clit.”

You whimper the movements foreign but so good as you write his name onto your clit.

“Fuck-fuck, James—,” You arch up again your orgasm even closer.

“Go faster baby need to cum, you want to cum for me don’t you? Be a good girl and cum for me.”

His words reach your core and you cum hard with a chorus of his name, breathless and blissfully you watch his mouth part as he moans your name, his hand stroking over his cock imagining fucking your pretty little mouth with your sweet eyes looking up at him.

He makes a mess of his hand and looks up at you, smirking when he hears your moan at seeing him come undone.

“So good for me baby. Can’t wait to taste you. Going to stay buried between your thighs.”

You look away, flustered and your shyness creeping into your chest.

“Doll, we’ve gotta clean up okay? Then I’ll make sure you fall asleep, did so well for me, haven’t cum that hard in years. Absolutely feral for you.” He admits and you preen under his praise following his guidance to clean up and then you tuck yourself into bed. You give him a soft sleepy smile.

“You enjoyed it, right?” Bucky questions, worried if he did anything wrong.

“I did Bucky, did you?”

“So much Doll, I don’t think I can ever encompass how fucking sexy you are into a sentence.” He admits and you hide your face in the pillow.

“No, no hiding from me, you’re fucking beautiful baby and I’m going to make sure when I meet you, you will feel me even afterwards.” He assures with that devilish smirk.

“First we’ll have to see if I can take you, I don’t know if you’ll fit.” You blush as you admit to your worry.

“Oh you can take me baby, I’ll fit inside your sweet warm cunt.” He promises.

Then a lightbulb goes off in your sleep and orgasm hazed mind.

“We missed the premiere.” You pout.

“We will watch it tomorrow at a reasonable hour now sleep or do I need to wear you out more?” He licks his lips and your clit pulses but you shake your head.

“Good girl. Now I’m here till you fall asleep. Sweet dreams my doll.” He adores you as you begin to drift off trusting him in this moment.

“Only sweet when you’re in my dreams.” You mumble before pulling the bear he gave closer and being pulled in by slumber.

In the second month of dating him, you realised you are in love with James Barnes. It wasn’t some big moment or him staying awake the night keeping a video call on so he’d know you’re okay while you were down with the viral flu.

Nor was is in the soft gasps of your name, in moments that pooled warmth in your belly.

Maybe it was just one day your gaze lingered upon him as he worked on the code while you studied, and you could see everything with him. All of those future milestones. Everything with your Bucky.

You yet had to say the three words, trying to understand and come up with a way to make the moment even more meaningful. Something that would be a memory for him to hold onto in moments where you couldn’t be there to get to him first.

The thoughts of him that occupy your mind in the middle of the class break when your phone begins to vibrate in your pocket. Bucky was video calling?

You did the mental math, it was five a.m. for him. Furrowing your brows you tuck your phone back into the pocket standing up and requesting the professor to let you out to use the washroom.

Once out of the classroom you jog to the washroom, quickly answering the call.

“Hey Bucky—,”

“No, no, no, get them out!” Bucky’s distressed voice fills the washroom. You can only make out his ceiling which is shakily into view.

“Bucky?” You ask again, getting worried.

“Please, we need to fall back, get me the fucking order!”

You hear a thump and the screen gets covered in black but his sobs reach you.

“James? James! It’s me, please please wake up, you’re having a nightmare.” You try to say loud enough incase you were muffled by the pillow.

“Bucky please, try to come out of it, you’re here with me. With your doll.” His sobs don’t relent, you run a hand down your face, sweat beading along your forehead and dipping down you neck.

The pillow moves and you can see the ceiling again.

“Bucky? Bucky!” You call out again and the phone moves. A flash of white on the screen as Alpine looks down at you.

“Hey, Alpine, I don’t know if you will understand this but push the phone towards your dad’s head please—, Alpine no not—,” The call cuts off as Alpine boops her nose towards the screen.

“Shit, shit, shit.” You call back the line ringing and your distress growing hoping he doesn’t panic seeing your name if the call wakes him from his nightmare.

Alpine jumps on Bucky’s chest as the phone rings under her. He sits up running a tired hand along his head, and then reaching for the phone.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up,” Your voice fills his room as he answers worry taking over him at your tone.

“Doll? Are you okay?” He peers at you, trying to get a visual if you’re physically fine.

“Oh god, oh thank god, you’re okay. Fuck.” You slide down against the wall, releasing a long exhale.

“Me?” he questions, brows furrowed in confusion.

“You called, I, think you were having a nightmare… I got worried because you sounded in distress and pain and then Alpine came in and she sat on the phone I think—,”

“Baby, breathe.” Bucky requests.

You pause your thoughts and ramblings, taking an inhale then exhale.

“I’m sorry I worried you, I’ll keep my phone away the next—,”

“No. No you aren’t going to do that, and Bucky even if by mistake you dialled my number in distress I don’t care, I want to be there for you whenever you need me.”

“But I don’t want you worrying this PTSD and nightmares are an issue for me to deal with alone—,”

“James, I love you. You aren’t alone in trying to navigate through this, sorry but when you asked me to be your girlfriend that includes moments when you want to isolate away.” You try to sound stern.

Bucky’s eyes are wide and jaw slack.

“What?” You worry again did you say something wrong.

“You love me?” He asks and you close your eyes.

“I was supposed to plan something nice to say it to you so it would be a happy memory.”

“Say it again.” The raw emotion in his voice tugs at your heart.

“I love you.” You look intently into his cobalt gaze and becomes clouded with tears.

“I love you.” He whispers, and you gaze at him with longing.

“The lilies? They also signify a friendship turned into love.” He reminds you of the flowers.

“Like us.” You realise, “Bucky, thats how long you knew?”

“I had a feeling since we started talking didn’t say anything cause I was worried now I feel like an idiot for wasting precious time.” He shakes his head, chuckling.

“I love you.” You tell him again because nothing else is able to convey what you can say to him how much weight those three words hold only the two of you know.

“I love you. These three words they hold so much weight, Doll. I don’t know what else to say.” He admits and you give him a watery smile cause you both are crying.

Because somewhere along the roads that were filled with torment and storms you found each other.

Even though oceans separate you from him.

Even though miles expand between the palms of your hands.

You found each other.

Gave each other the strength to fight everyday.

Provided laughter in the midst of chaos that should leave you in tears.

So even though he can’t hold you close to him and you can’t rest your head against his chest as you both confess the love you have for one another.

Even if he can’t cup your face, bend down and kiss you with everything inside him.

Both of you know that he is bound to you and you are bound to him by three simple words.

AN: hope you enjoyed the chapter! reblogs, comments and likes are appreciated!

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