#WE ARE STILL FRIENDS BUT I AM TERRIFIED OF MAKINB SOMEONE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH MY FEELINGS BECAUSE I LOVE SO RARELY BUT SO DEEPLY | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

buysomecheese · 1 year ago

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He’s so smart but he trusted them with everything because he loves her and has loved her and has been loved by her before. He’s so smart but he doesn’t let himself know what’s true about himself because he’s been listening to someone who does not like him. Because they’re a lesbian and would talk about that in public in front of him and then go sit in his car and make out with him and then talk about wanting a girlfriend. Because they asked so much from him and didn’t ever ask how he was doing. He’s so smart and he’s so deserving of everything better and there’s no one who would be able to give that to him for a while now because he can’t trust them to.

FUCKED UP THAT SOMEONE CAN SEE THEIR FRIEND IN A VULNERABLE POSITION AND THEN USE THAT TO THEIR ADVANTAGE!!! FUCKED UP THAT HE WOULDN'T TAKE KINDLY TO HIS OTHER FRIENDS HELPING HIM GET OUT OF THAT SITUATION SO WE CAN'T HELP AS MUCH AS WE'D LIKE TO. FUCKED UP THAT SO MANY GOOD THINGS WILL BE TAINTED FOR HIM NOW. FUCKED UP THAT HE'LL LIKELY BE SO CLOSED OFF TO EVERYTHING NOW BECAUSE OF THEM!!!!!

#fucking mad.#not only do I love and value him so much as a friend but I have a proper crush on him I want to kiss him on the face #but I can’t because at least for now it’s tainted by them.#I would have to have real conversations with him first and he is not ready for those sorts of steps #and it’s not like a ‘oh I’m making decisions about him for him’ sort of thing #he literally can’t stop himself from being a people pleaser rn and he would go along with anything if it made someone else happy #I cannot date someone like that the amount of guilt it would give me #EVERYONE’S FIRST LOVE FUCKS THEM UP EVEN IF IT’S AN OVERALL POSITIVE EXPERIENCE #MY BEST FRIEND’S FIRST LOVE HATED PHYSICAL CONTACT AND MY BEST FRIEND’S LOVE LANGUAGE IS PHYSICAL TOUCH #THEY HAD A GOOD RELATIONSHIP BUT MH BEST FRIEND IS TERRIFIED OF BEING OVERBEARING OR CROSSING PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES #NOTHING EVEN HAPPENED WITH MY FIRST LOVE BECAUSE SHE WASN’T READY AND DOESN’T LIKE ROMANCE #WE ARE STILL FRIENDS BUT I AM TERRIFIED OF MAKINB SOMEONE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH MY FEELINGS BECAUSE I LOVE SO RARELY BUT SO DEEPLY #AND SHE HAS COMMITMENT ISSUES THAT WOULDN’T ALLOW MY LOVE SO NOW I CAN BARELY FEEL IT BECAUSE IT’S SCARY #AND HIS FIRST LOVE IS THIS PERSON WHO KEEPS LEADING HIM ON AND TELLING HIM CONTRADICTIONS ABOUT HIMSELF THAT AREN’T EVEN TRUE #THEY CAN’T LOVE HIM BUT THEY DON’T WANT TO COMMUNICATE THAT BECAUSE THEY LIKE THE ATTENTION HE GIVES.#AND HE GIVES SO MUCH ATTENTION AND IT HAS FUCKED HIM UP.#literally gonna sob about how first loves affect everything after #I can’t like someone who’s emotionally available for a relationship.#my friend can’t like someone who is good at setting boundaries and receiving her own boundaries.#he likely wont be able to like someone who is only genuine who doesn’t want him to overextend himself for them.#not irl at least. his main romance in BG3 is Wyll lol

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