#WAUGHHHHH SKIZZ YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME

[mizumech]

My thoughts on Skizz and Team TIES

Much like Jimmy, I do not watch him often at all.

Yet, his story within the games compels me. The tale of a brave and kind man, an angel; who is yet to discover falling from heaven hurts.

Or maybe he has. Maybe he just falls anyways.

Because he is kind. He doesn’t play the game like he should. He understands, fundamentally when he is done for and when to give in. And yet, he doesn’t really care. And not in a brash, Joel way.

In Third Life, his ‘last words’ are his ‘last wishes’, for the enemy and allies to get back in fight, and also ‘I love you and hate them’. Not too different from Limited Life. This time he is surrounded by his allies, still fighting the good fight to the last. But he has utilised his knowledge. He is at a point where he is doomed and he knows it. (And maybe that is just as similar to Third Life. Does he not say ‘Oh? You’re out for blood? Well come and get it!’?) He is at this impasse, when the server is contemplating what the loss of their canary means and shifting its alliances around one last time.

And he chooses to stand by his team. This is a team he knows well. Etho of Dogwarts and Team BEST. Tango from memories long blurred by the Watchers and Team BEST. Impulse from so many memories, so many pasts, from a world not too different from theirs, high up in the sky. He knows he would die for them. As he does.

He tells Impulse and Tango, and they’re agitated yes, but resigned. They’ve known Skizz longer than Etho. They know Skizz will not change his mind. They’re stunned but not shocked. They knew the minute he said it had been an honour. ‘What are you doing?’ is just an honorific because they have known each other for so long. And then they try to rationalise. How much time does Skizz have? Can we somehow get him a kill? Would Skizz be willing to get one?

That’s the magic of Limited Life. It’s desperation. Allies can become merely bloodbag in the haze of it. They’re closest to you. They would be so easy to kill. And yet: Team TIES chooses ally over time. They trust each other. They are ties that bind.

And then Impulse immediately says this thirty minutes must go Etho.

They’ve immediately rationalised the situation. Skizz has 23 minutes. Killing him will give Etho 30 minutes and he has the least time of all of us. This is a net gain.

In this game, you are never really climbing. You are only ever falling. Dying loses you more time than killing gains you.

So Etho finally gets to Windsor, dejected from a stolen kill and totally not ready for whatever emotional thing this will be. Only for Skizz to give him his axe, a pufferfish, and an order.

It’s almost strange. The history of Dogwarts stretches way before Skizz and Etho ever joined. They never watched Red Winter rise like scared children. They as knights of Dogwarts were only borne into Red Winter.

Yellow holds a strange connotation on this server. Of peace, of violence. Yellow is vulnerable, yellow is strong. It is heads, it is tails, and it is the light that catches on the rim of the coin. Golden apples tell of the alliances and golden apples tell of the violence that follows.

Pufferfish can mean peace. Grian and Scar shared one in Third Life. So did Jimmy and Scott. And Scott is still trying. Pufferfish can mean violence and toxicity. Martyn died to one. Scott is trying to force it on Jimmy. He’s still trying.

But this isn’t about them.

Skizz permadies often with golden apples on him and uses them as a symbol of loyalty to his faction and as gifts. In the one season he missed, golden apples were banned.

By this time in Limited Life, resources are scarce. He’s used his golden apples up already fighting Bdubs and gifting to him. But he has a pufferfish.

He wants Etho to decide.

This is a turning point in Etho’s life. Just as it was in Dogwarts. Skizz knows Etho will remember what he’s trying to insinuate.

It’s this, right before Skizz heads to his death, unknowing of Etho’s fate whatsoever.

Will Etho use it? Skizz will have no idea. Will he use it to stay alive, to get back to his allies? Will he use it in a trap? Will he use it to kill an enemy, and Void forbid, a friend?

And perhaps, it does not matter. Skizz has borne his struggles as best he could. As kind as he could’ve possibly managed.

Etho raises the axe over him. This axe is nearing the end of its life the same way its owner is.

And then come the affirmations, the sweet nothings and everythings at the same time. Maybe they’ll be able to make it up to each other in the next game. Maybe they’ll all forget any of these ever happened.

As the axe comes down, Etho wishes Skizz was better at the game. And there is a whisper. A trembling one, that he hopes will at least reach Etho’s ears.

“Me too.”

Maybe they don’t mean the same thing. Skizz has never regretted kindness.

Maybe Etho really did mean it as an insult. Maybe he’s calling Skizz naive. Maybe he’s calling him unskilled. But better at the game doesn’t mean better player.

I don’t think Etho would ever want Skizz to change as a player. They’ve been allied every season. He’s kind, he’s honest, and he’s brave, and maybe too much.

Maybe that’s what he’s talking about. The games are not always kind to the kind people. It is not kind to those who play by the rules.

And Skizz falls. And it hurts. And he doesn’t care. Because all he wants is to see team TIES through to the final countdown.

Yes, he wishes he knew the right way to hold an axe and the right time to block. He wishes he could’ve continued fighting by his team.

But he doesn’t regret kindness. He will never regret kindness.