#WAAAAH OH MY GOD OH MY GOD ITS HERE!!!!!!

[localwhoore]

can you stupid ass pick me lando fans STOP trying to “noooo his names not acccctually lando norris its ackshually bob!!1!!1!1!! we have to gaaatekeep guyysssuhhh the 😡NEWGENS😡 are gonna take overrruhhhhh he wont be ours anymoooorreeeeee” KILL YOURSELF DUDE HES A CELEBRITY ITS NOT THAT FUCKING DEEP DONT ACT AS IF YOU DIDNT GET INTO F1 BY WATCHING A LANDO EDIT THAT GUESS WHAT THE PEOPLE DIDNT GATEKEEP SO FUCK OFF

“here as proof i was a lando girly before chicken shop date!” YOU GUYS WANTED HIM ON THE SHOW AND NOW YOURE COMPLAINING THAT HE IS AND WHINING AND CRYING AND FUCKING SNOBBLING ALL OVER YOUR SCREEN BECAUSE HE WAS IN AN INTERVIEW THAT YOU VOTED FOR HIM TO BE IN BECAUSE SOME OTHER FANS ARE GONNA SEE HIM MORE THAN YOU?? WAAAH WAAAAH CRY ABOUT IT NO ONE GIVES A FLYING FLICKERING FLOATING FUCK ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU SCREAM AND COMPLAIN IN COMMENT SECTIONS IT AINT GONNA DO JACK SHIT YOU FUCKING PICK ME WANNABE WAG BITCH

“oh my god is already happeneing…. theyre finding out abt him!!! gatekeep gatekeep” YOURE BUILT LIKE A GATE YOU FUCKING NOLIFER ACTUALLY TOUCH SOME GRASS YOU CRAZY ASS INCEL 💀💀 OFC PEOPLE ARE BOUND TO FIND HIM ATTRACTIVE HES FUCKING FAMOUS DUDE AND OBVIOUSLY YOU FIND HIM ATTRACTIVE IF YOURE TRYNA GATEKEEP HIM RIGHT? RIGHT??

no joke i saw a comment reply to someone saying hes cute but doesnt know who he is scream and cry and whine and BITCH AND MOAN that “noooo hes ours for the f1 community only xx 💖💖🥰🥰” Hes not going to date you. You’re probably ugly as dogshit that someone stepped on irl.

AND THEN WHEN SOMEONE TOLD THEM TO DROP IT BECAUSE THEY AINT GONNA DATE HIM THEY SAID SOME STUPID ASS SHIT LIKE “well you dont know how i feel so strongly abt him he needs to be protected from the new fans!! xx 🙄” what the fuck ?? are u mentally ill? are u fucking crazy? did you get dropped on your head as a baby down a flight of stairs?

And before ANY of u come after me saying “oh my gawd u probably got into f1 through a lando edit too don’t even 🙄🤪ur js like us” NO i did not ive known abt ts since i was THREE YEARS OF AGE ANDDD DOOOONT PULL UP W SOME “yeah ur probably a charles fan instead then average female fan” im an oscar and yuki and zhou defender go fuck yourself with your lando themed dildo cz he aint want u and thats the closest ur shit ass is gonna get

[medievildead]

Cool Facts about GoW Hermes

I'm well aware that Hermes enjoyers are still alive or newly birthed and just as you all were I was very saddend by his abrupt death (lying) but good news is he's a sidecharacter in the novels. For those who don't own the novels or can't get your hands on them allow me to share with you every single tidbit about Hermes that the novels reveal

As one would assume he is so pompus and overly confident of himself. He's so proud of himself for no reason and he behaves like a spoiled rich kid

Secretly though (not really secretly) he's kind of a wussy. He's quick to egg someone on because he knows he's faster and can dodge crap and be a jerk, but if he were in a situation where his speed and cunning couldn't help him he'd end up getting his ass beat. But even after he'd still be a jerk about it

Most of his strength is in his thunder thighs (obviouly) and he loves his own body way too much. Like he's very proud of his body. He has no shame showing off his bare ass

The only person he's really afraid of is Zeus. He's cocky and mean to everyone except Zeus, who he calls Skyfather. He knows Zeus has the power to turn him to dust in seconds so he tries to behave around him. Tries

There are SO many instances where Zeus is horrible to Hermes and everyone else on Olympus frankly, but because Hermes is so devoted he just keeps trying to serve and earn Zeus' trust. Even after being banished to earth at one point because all Hermes did was tell the truth about Kratos being alive.

When Hermes is nervous or incredibly exiteable, the wings on his boots start flapping and he hovers. (:

When he gets really upset, he will throw a tantrum. And I'm not exaggerating or anything, he does throw a tantrum. Literally he starts stomping his feet and folding his arms like a toddler. and going WAAAAH WHY DOESNT THE WORLD REVOLVE AROUND MEEEEE like the spoiled adult brat he is

At one point he is referred to as "almost handsome" and its the funniest shit ever

He has hots for Athena. At least the reader assumes that with context. He tries to play it off as kidding constantly, but it happens so often that it just radiates the energy of a guy sending a creepy text and then saying "sorry wrong number" after getting rejected. Athena is chaste obviously so she keeps shutting Hermes down, but he is a persistent asshole.

Hermes considers Athena his bestie and even tells her so. She doesn't really feel the same way but she isn't a monster at this point in time so she does constantly try to help him because she feels pity for him when he's down. At one point Hermes begs for her help and looks at her like this 🥺 while tugging her arm and she's just like oh my god he is such a loser I can't leave him here

Despite being a god of so many social things, Hermes doesn't like people that much. He seeks temporary oasis in secluded places in order to be alone. Like the deserts of Egypt, which he claims to enjoy

He talks very highly of Perseus (i wonder why lol) and he was actually the one who sent Perseus to kill Kratos. Athena kind of made fun of Hermes after Perseus died. Was funny

[the-plague-dog]

So I just watched the Miraculous Movie with my beloved @thatspazz and well... I have thoughts.

I am the local "Gabriel deserves better and by that I mean punishment and maybe learn to be a decent person" preacher and before I go on my rant about the movie and the season 5 finale, here is a drawing of Papillon I made after watching the movie as we ranted about the film. If you don't want spoilers, just keep moving after the drawing :)

Spoilers and Rants below this cut

OK. Before I become the number one hater, I wanna talk about what I liked about both the movie and season 5s finale (Gabriel/Papillon specific). Gabriel's song was awful and I loved it, I am listening to it again ASAP because who let this man be goofy, I love it, I was slapping my friends leg in pure joy, it was so good.

I love the portrayal of Akumatisation in the Movie, even though i resent the butterfly miraculous being called evil, and I genuinely wish we get to see more. Akumatisation is one of my favourite parts of miraculous and I'm kinda mad we didn't get to see more but what we saw in the movie was great.

Gabriel's design in the movie took a little adjusting but I grew to really like it. His papillon design is mostly good, I'm not a massive fan of the mask but it just needed a little tweaking.

In the season 5 finale, monarch was menacing, like actually. I held my breath when he was stalking the mansion whilst marinette was detransformed. And the pure noise of panic I let out when he dragged her out by her leg!? AGH OH MY GOD

The whole fight between Monarch and BugNoire!? Mwah I also want to slam monarch with a piano.

Also, the part where Gabriel has been beaten and he's having a heart to heart with Marinette? All I'm saying is we could've done more with that. IM JUST SAYING!

OK. Negatives.

WHAT THE FUCK!? HUH!? WHO WROTE BOTH PAPILLON ENDINGS!? I MUST SHOOT THEM DEAD!

The season 5 finale let Gabriel get off scot free and it pisses me off. Poor Spazz has sat through so many angry rants about how I would've done his ending. When I told Gabriel I need him to kill himself I DIDNT MEAN LIKE THIS! HE WON! WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THE SHOW!? HE LEARNT NOTHING AND GOT OFF SCOT FREE! IM SO MAD ABOUT IT! LIKE WHAT!? YOU SPEND 8 FUCKING YEARS BUILDING UP THIS EVIL TWAT OF A VILLAIN AND LET HIM GET OFF SCOT FREE!? I've only been a fan of the show for a year thanks to Spazz so I have speedran Gabriel's arc and even I'm upset. I've never had a show fuck up a villain so bad I switched sides to his defence.

And now the movie

THE FUCK YOU MEAN THE POWER OF LOVE!? HUH!? WHAT!? WE KNOW THAT GABRIEL IS READY TO FIGHTING GAME JUGGLE HIS SON AS CHAT NOIR SO WHATS STOPPING HIM NOW!? ALSO, NITPICK BUT ITS CLEAR THAT GABRIEL IS TRYING TO BRING BACK HIS WIFE FOR HIMSELF AND NOT FOR ADRIEN BUT IS USING IT AS JUSTIFICATION FOR HIMSELF SO WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THAT WHOLE "waaaah I'm sorry I was a terrorist and abused you boo womp :("

So, that's both the movie and the show fucking up Gabriel... I really hope the special does Good Gabriel some justice or I will become the next Papillon and become a terrorist.

But yeah, movie sucked dick and this show fucking sucks

Can't wait for season 6 :) (i do actually like this show but it's a love hate relationship)

[inkykeiji]

day 3 ❅ you are my home, my home for all seasons

don’t cry snowman, don’t you fear the sun, who’ll carry me without legs to run?

day two ❅ day three ❅ day four | series masterlist

characters: todoroki touya | dabi ft. todoroki natsuo

genre: smut + angst

notes: WAAAAH okay listen i swear to god this was not supposed to be as long as it is. uhhhh just over half of this is smut, pls pay attention to the warnings below n stay safe! <33 | title credit: snowman by sia

warnings: 18+, pseudo-incest (stepcest), one (1) non-graphic fist fight, tense family dynamics, generally toxic relationships, size difference, drug use, threesome, rough sex, cumplay/snowballing, a hint of mindbreak, slight dacryphilia, slight degradation

words: 7.7k

synopsis:

And the way his eyes glitter as he gazes at you, the way his fingers trace your jaw and then smooth down your hair, melts all of the anxiety and anger that had been building in your chest, burns it all to ash and sweeps it away just like that, with that one look and that gentle caress.

Because his sapphire eyes hold so much love it’s almost suffocating, overwhelming in the best way, has you endlessly craving more, more, more; and his soft touches speak volumes, rough hands scarred and stained with blood he’ll never be able to wash off, so tender when they touch you like this.

I think…I think he really loves her.

And suddenly, none of it matters anymore, Fuyumi’s words and Rei’s worry no longer holding any weight. All that matters is that you love him, and he loves you, and that’s all you need.

    ❅           ❅           ❅           ❅           ❅           ❅    

It storms, the day of December 23rd; a nasty blizzard that has the wooden shutters banging against the outside of the cabin, harsh gusts of air rattling the glass windows as it viciously hurls snow and ice against them.

“God, you can’t see fucking anything!”

“Language, Natsuo,” Rei chides softly, bottom lip caught between her teeth as she stares out at the white, at the nothingness, just endless swirls of deceptively pretty snow, being tossed in every direction by fierce winds.

“We can’t even see the cars, and they’re only a few feet away!” Fuyumi whines. “So much for tubing today,”

“That’s alright,” Rei says, forcing her lips into a smile as she turns towards her children. “We’ll just have to find other ways to entertain ourselves, that’s all,”

And not one of you misses the uneasy trembling in her voice.

      ❅           ❅           ❅

“Up,”

Black obscures your vision for a moment as Touya tugs his shirt over your head, a shiver coursing through your body as your skin is exposed to the cool air of your shared bedroom.

“You cold?” Touya teases, tweaking a peaked nipple.

“Niichan!” you whine, swatting at his hand, blood rushing to your face, cheeks tingling with embarrassment.

“Cute,” Touya smirks, the tips of his fingers caressing a burning cheek before he turns away, rooting through a drawer and looking for your dress today. “It’s adorable that you’ll let me stick my cock in you, or fuck your throat, or coat you entire body in cum, but you still get embarrassed by those little things,”

He turns back to face you with a stupid, goofy smile on his face, though his eyes are shining with mirth, and you can’t help the soft giggle that bubbles past your lips, sprinkled throughout your shy little shut up, niichan!

It’s routine at this point, your actions entirely automatic as your naked body slides off the bed, Touya kneeling to pull a fresh pair of panties—lavender today, trimmed with lace and ribbon—up your legs, lips scattering a few kisses along your thigh as he does so. Arms raise into the air, almost expectantly, as Touya straightens up again, slipping a long sleeved babydoll dress over your head—crushed velvet and plum purple, this time—helping pull your arms through before smoothing it down your body.

Stepping back to assess you, to admire you, Touya dusts his hands together. “Do you think you can pull on your tights by yourself today?”

Your eyebrows furrow, but you nod anyways. Of course you can, you’re a big girl, you know.  

“Perfect.” He turns on his heel. “Then, I’ll be back,” he tosses over his shoulder casually, as if there isn’t a blizzard raging outside. “Stay put, yeah?”

“Wait, what?” tiny finger curl in the material of his sleeve, tugging a little. “You’re going out in that?”

“Just for a moment—”

“Niichan!” the honorific comes out as a gasp, your hand smacking his bicep. “Do you have a deathwish?”

“Baby,” he begins, gently taking your face between two large palms, voice supercilious as if speaking to a child. “I need to smoke, or I’m going to crawl out of my fucking skin, do you understand? Natsuo’s gonna come,”

“I wanna—”

“No.” he says instantly, eyes flashing, your body instinctually cowering from his tone. “I’ll only be a minute, I promise,” he presses a kiss to the tip of your nose. “Relax, it’s just a little snow! I want you to sit here like the perfect little good girl you are, and not move until I come back, okay?”

Lips pulling down into an involuntary frown, you nod in his grasp, watching him go with a little pout. It’s only after you hear the backdoor slam, pulled shut by the sheer force of the wind, that you hear them.

“He’s got her entirely brainwashed!” Fuyumi’s muffled voice carries through the walls.

“I’m not quite sure that’s it,” Rei responds, trying to gently reason with her daughter.

“Oh my God, what are you talking about!”

You creep off the bed, springs squeaking under your weight.

“Fuyumi,” Rei sighs, and you imagine her pinching the bridge of her nose. “When’s the last time you saw Touya smile like that? When’s the last time you saw your older brother this happy?”

Bare feet make the softest little pad…pad…pad… against the hardwood as you tiptoe towards the door.

“Mom…” Fuyumi trails off, her voice softer when she speaks again. “It doesn’t make it right, though,”

The brass knob turns slowly, carefully, silently, and you pull the door open just a crack, just enough to push your ear close to the sliver and listen.

The master bedroom is at the end of the hallway, but the door is wide open, their voices floating through the vacant corridor.

Rei responds after a beat of silence. “Would he stop even if I told him to? Is it even worth the fight, at this point?”

And she sounds so sad, so defeated that it drives a dull, throbbing ache deep in your chest, a hand coming up to press against your body, trying to quell it.

“I think…” Rei trails off, and your breathing halts. “I think he really loves her,”

Her words probably shouldn’t inspire such wicked sparks of joy that shoot through your veins and up your spine, but they do, and you have to press your lips together to keep a giddy smile from spreading across your face. So other people do see it.  

“Oh God, give me a break, he’s—”

“I’m serious, Fuyumi,” Rei cuts her off sharply, voice curt. “I haven’t…He’s never stayed with someone for this long, never cared about anyone as much as he cares about her—you can see it in his eyes,”

“But—But she’s his sister, mom!” Fuyumi cries. “It isn’t okay!”

“Keep your voice down,” Rei scolds, sounding exasperated. She’s quiet for a moment. “You’re right. It isn’t okay. But I…” her voice fades, and you think you hear sniffling, the thought stinging your own eyes. “I can’t take that from him, Yumi, I just can’t,”

A tense silence settles, and you can hear your own heartbeat in your ears, body rigid and tight as you wonder if the conversation’s over.

“She doesn’t deserve that, you know. He doesn’t, either,”

Fuyumi’s words, murmured so quietly you have to strain to hear them, light a ferocious fire in your chest, sending scalding fury burning through your veins. How dare she!

Your teeth grind together, hand gripping the doorknob so tightly it begins to jiggle. How dare she insinuate that Touya doesn’t deserve your love. How dare she imply that he isn’t capable of loving, when she barely knows a goddamn thing about him.

Sparkling cobalt flashes through your mind, accompanied by that pearly, lopsided smile and that thoaty, syrupy voice that’s always dripping with just a touch of indifference, and your heart swells.

Touya takes care of you better than anyone ever has in your entire life. Touya makes sure you’re well fed, well groomed, well dressed. Touya ensures your final year university assignments get done in a timely manner, buys you whatever you want, whenever you want it. Touya provides for and cares about and loves you.

How dare she pretend as if she understands any of that, as if she knows anything about your relationship at all, as if it’s any of her damn business in the first place.

“What about her father? What does he think about this whole situation?” Fuyumi asks a few moments later, when it’s clear Rei isn’t going to respond, capturing your attention again, jaw clenching.

Another deep sigh, one that surely has her chest heaving with the force of it, echoes down the hallway. “He refuses to talk about it any time I try to bring it up, so I’ve stopped trying. He’d rather just…not know, I guess, ignore it and pretend it doesn’t exist, and just look away. I don’t—I don’t think he can bear the thought, so he just…doesn’t.”

Exhaustion is heavy in your step-mother’s voice, weighing down her words and diminishing the flames raging in your chest to smoldering embers, hand relaxing its grip around the doorknob.

“If that were me and Natsuo—”

“That’s enough,”

“Or me and Shouto—”

“I said, that’s enough, Fuyumi.” Rei snaps, and you flinch—in all the years you’ve known her, you’ve never heard her use that tone of voice. It’s unusual, unfamiliar, unsettling.

Heavy footsteps begin stomping up the stairs, cutting off your thoughts, and you yelp softly, scampering back towards the bed. Touya pushes through the door a moment later, eyebrows knitting as azure eyes dart from your untouched tights, still sitting neatly folded on the bed where he placed him, to your bare legs, then drifting up to your face.

“Why aren’t your tights on, princess?” he tilts his head, a smile playing at his lips, more relaxed now that he’s smoked. “Willfully misbehaving? Or are you not such a big girl after all?”

And the way his eyes glitter as he gazes at you, the way his fingers trace your jaw and then smooth down your hair, melts all of the anxiety and anger that had been building in your chest, burns it all to ash and sweeps it away just like that, with that one look and that gentle caress.

Because his sapphire eyes hold so much love it’s almost suffocating, overwhelming in the best way, has you endlessly craving more, more, more; and his soft touches speak volumes, rough hands scarred and stained with blood he’ll never be able to wash off, so tender when they touch you like this.

I think…I think he really loves her.

And suddenly, none of it matters anymore, Fuyumi’s words and Rei’s worry no longer holding any weight. All that matters is that you love him, and he loves you, and that’s all you need.

      ❅           ❅           ❅

By the late afternoon, you’ve all begun to get antsy, resulting in Rei feeling like her kids are actual children again and wracking her mind for an activity to keep you all occupied. She decides on baking and decorating gingerbread men and then a Christmas movie marathon after dinner, gathering the family in the kitchen as her hands nervously rearrange the ingredients she’s laid out on the table.

Everyone’s already a little on edge, shoulders tense and tight any time Touya and Shouto are in the same room together, and you swear the air is electric, cracking and popping with shocks and zaps anytime one of them bristles at something the other said.

Like a storm is brewing.

The entire family works hard to keep them as far away from each other as possible, and attempts to minimize any type of contact at all: seating them on opposite ends of the table, keeping them sandwiched between moderators—family members who speak cautiously in gentle voices, who carefully and dutifully steer the conversation away from a fight—and even going as far to give each ‘group’ their own mixing bowl and baking tools.

The ingredients, however, they have to share.

It feels like a competition: who can make their dough the fastest, who can decorate their cookies the nicest, who can stay the most faithful to the recipe, who’s cookies taste the best.

And yet, none of these efforts seem to matter, because Shouto’s very presence, Shouto’s very existence, infuriates Touya to no end. They clash like thunder and lightning, silent strikes of white-hot fury that you can almost see flashing through the air—Shouto snickering quietly, or making some snide comment muttered under his breath, or reacting to something Touya does with a roll of his eyes or a scoff—followed by a clap of menacing thunder; rumbling—a tremorous growl deep within Touya’s chest; and roaring—the way his deep voice booms through the space; and rolling—his hand clutching you: your hand, your thigh, your wrist, anything he can latch onto to keep him grounded, to keep him sane.

It only continues to build as the day progresses, explosive magma rising higher, and higher, and higher with each spiteful word spit through clenched teeth, each ridiculing laugh ringing out around the room, each malicious look shot in the others direction, until it finally erupts, spouting blistering lava that scorches everything in its path, that seeps through the cracks, beginning to corrode that mask Shouto has been steadily chipping away at.

It was bound to happen eventually—no matter how hard any of you had tried to pretend, you had all known it. It had only been a question of when.

The answer to that question, apparently, is after dinner.

You aren’t even sure how it began, exactly, busy washing dishes with Rei in the kitchen, but your blood runs cold when you hear Natsuo quietly urging Touya to stop, don’t, it isn’t worth it, and Touya growling at Natsuo to let go of him, don’t fucking touch him.

Rei hears it too, of course, because the plate she was scrubbing slips from her hands and cracks as it collides with the aluminum sink, sheer panic etched into her face, wiping sudsy hands on her cardigan as she hurries towards the voices with you in tow.

Shouto’s barking out a laugh as you both round the corner—a harsh, almost piercing sound that echoes throughout the cabin, void of any humour.

“I’m not afraid of you anymore,”

And though his face is harder than marble, eyes positively glaring at his eldest brother, his voice shakes a bit.

Touya picks up on it, of course, because Touya picks up on everything.

“That so?” He asks casually with a shrug, eyes beginning to glitter as Shouto involuntarily shrinks away from him. “Shame. Whaddya say we fix that?”

Touya has always been quick, has always been seemingly one or two steps ahead of everyone else. He reaches around his body, lithe fingers running along the waistband of his jeans, and groans out a curse when his hand meets nothing—Nastuo still has his gun.

That’s fine, he shrugs a little, dangerous smirk on his face as Shouto’s eyes watch his hands with laboured breathing as fingers dip into his front pocket, curling and finding it empty—Natuso still has his blade, too.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Touya hisses, Natsuo’s words from after the snowball incident echoing through his mind. You can have these back, he had said sternly, as if speaking to a fucking toddler, when you’re in your car, behind the wheel, all packed up and ready to go Christmas Day.  

Well, that’s alright, Touya supposes, because his fists are weapons in their own right, too, aren’t they?, large hands flexing before curling into tight balls, sapphire eyes glinting in the warm light, teeth bared in a petrifying smile as he cracks his neck.

And it all happens so fast, like a cat pouncing on its prey, nothing but a blur of ivory and black colliding with crimson and cream, a mess of bruised knuckles and split lips and flowing scarlet—so much scarlet, streaming from noses and smeared across cracked picture frames, seeping through little slashes and spit from between clenched teeth.

Something shatters, someone screams, but it all sounds muffled to you, distant and far away as you stare dazedly at the mess of limbs on the hardwood floor a few feet away, watching as brilliant galaxies of periwinkle bloom rapidly on smooth skin, and everything feels numb.

Natsuo manages to catch Touya, receiving an elbow to the stomach in the process as he hooks his arms under Touya’s and hoists him off of their baby brother. Shouto leaps to his feet, ready to lunge at his now incapacitated brother, but your father grabs him before he can, holding him back, arms wrapping around him in an iron grip.

The softest sob sounds, all eyes snapping towards it.

Rei stands with her arms wrapped around herself, gleaming grey eyes darting between her eldest and youngest, and everything stills.

“You leave my sight for two seconds—” she starts, blinking hard as fat tears roll down her cheeks, the rest of the sentence getting lodged in her throat. “Two seconds, a-and—and you—I am so—so—”

She’s unable to force the words through her trembling lips, but she doesn’t need to.

I am so disappointed in you.

Natsuo’s able to haul Touya off to the first floor washroom, curses still spewing from your niichan’s lips as he thrashes against his brothers grip, volatile and malignant and stuffed full of hostility, his rough voice breaking with them. His eyes look glossy, and you think he may even be crying, though it’s hard to tell with his aggressive writhing in Natsuo’s strong arms, muscles bulging under the thin material of his shirt.

Touya’s hands tremble as he taps out those little round pills, as white as the snow outside, a few clattering to the floor during the process. Your fingers knot together in front of your body, wringing and unwringing as you watch Touya toss several in his mouth, dry swallowing them expertly before leaning against the counter, fingers curling around the edge, exhaling a shaky breath.

“Sh-Should he be taking that many?” Your eyes dart to Natsuo, who’s propped up against the bathroom door, your forehead creased in worry. He laughs a little, coos at you as if you’re so cute for worrying about your niichan, like your niichan didn’t just down four oxys at once—before bothering to clean himself up, before bothering to do anything—and wraps an arm around your shoulder, tugging you towards him.

It’s comforting, and you automatically snuggle into the warmth, still shaken up from the events that occurred in the past twenty minutes, burying your head in his chest and inhaling, letting the palliative scent of fresh mint and lemon with a hint of blue raspberry fill your lungs.  

He needs them, Natsuo tells you in that gentle voice, in that trusting voice, his thumb rhythmically stroking your back, voice vibrating against your cheek and reassuring you that It’s alright, he’s fine, he just needs a little something to calm him down, to sedate him.

This is the best option, he promises you, stone eyes soothing and familiar when you gaze up at him, bottom lip caught between your teeth. With the snow storm happening outside and all.

He has a point, you guess. Whether you like it or not, Touya’s still undoubtedly trapped in this tiny cabin with Shouto for at least the next twelve hours.

It’s a low dose, he ensures with a kiss pressed to the side of your head, “Gave ‘em to him myself,”

You feel like you can breathe again, Natsuo’s calming words taming the irregular palpitating in your chest, soft fingers swiping across your cheeks, catching glistening tears as he consoles you.

It’s okay. He’s okay. He’ll be okay.

What Natsuo doesn’t tell you, though, is that Touya needs them in more ways than one, that Touya actually ran out of the oxys he had brought for the trip, the ones that were supposed to last him the full five days, and that Natsuo’s pulled from his personal stash to give him more, because the last thing anyone needs on top of this disaster is Touya suffering a fucking opioid withdrawal.

He leaves to check on Shouto shortly after, muttering something about shoving a few pills down his throat, too, to mellow him out.

You pretend not to hear it, rushing towards Touya the moment the door shuts, latching onto him from behind and nuzzling your face into his back, tears threatening to suffocate you again.

Touya turns in your grasp, wrapping large arms around you and squeezing you to his chest, clutching you like a lifeline as his fingers dig into your flesh, head dropping and cheek resting against the crown of your head as he repeats Natsuo’s words.

It’s okay. He’s okay. He’ll be okay—as long as you never leave him.

And you won’t. You wouldn’t. You never will.

      ❅           ❅           ❅

The movie marathon, to everyone’s surprise, proceeds as scheduled. It’s awkward, and no one actually wants to be there, but Rei’s face is still stained with tears, streaks of sticky salt decorating her cheeks, and none of you have the heart to leave her when she throws on some staticky old cartoon and collapses on one of the couches—not even Touya.

No one talks about it, either. No one talks about the shards of broken glass Fuyumi swept from the floor, or the ugly, weblike crack Shouto’s head left when it whacked off the drywall.

There’s nothing to talk about, you guess, bitterness stinging the back of your tongue, sinking in your chest, as you snuggle into Touya’s lap.

But Touya’s feeling better—Touya’s feeling good, large hands running down your bare thighs, kneading the flesh before he drags them back up, under your dress, the thick quilt draped over your lap obscuring his actions from the others.

“N-Niichan,” you whisper, turning to shove your burning face in his neck and whimpering when he chuckles lowly, a dark sound that has scalding heat pooling deep in the pit of your stomach, that has your thighs clamping together and trapping his hand.

“Shh, behave,” he murmurs into your hair, waiting for your thighs to relax before his hand continues its ministrations, creeping up, up, up until he reaches your clit, flicking his thumb over it once. A gasp spills from your lips, and Touya pinches the sensitive bud, lips at your ear. “I said, behave,”

So you do—or, you try, legs spreading wider for him, molars sinking into the flesh of your inner cheek to keep from mewling. Because that’s all you want, really—to be good for him, to be his good girl, to help him forget, to do anything you can to alleviate his stress and make him feel better.

Touya teases you for the entirety of the marathon, continuously driving you to the edge and teetering you on the cliff, tempting you with the fall, the plunge, the release, before dragging you away from it, only to repeat the process again, and again, and again. Skilled fingers have it down to a fucking science at this point, circling your clit in quick, hard motions, until your thighs are trembling and your hips are pathetically trying to buck into his touch. Such reactions are always his cue to stop, to back off, immediately slowing to unhurried figure eights, sometimes pressing his fingertips into your hole just a little through the thin cotton of your panties. And then, he waits, waits until every muscle unclenches, relaxes, until your breathing evens back out and your whines fade, decreasing in frequency, until the gentle, featherlight touches of nimble fingers against your swollen clit have almost put you to sleep, just to simply begin it again.

The bulge in his jeans strains eagerly against the denim, and it’s hard, so hard, pressed up against your thigh. Long, slender fingers catch your wrist when you try to cup it, to offer him some relief, sapphire eyes flashing as he shakes his head slowly. A deep pout etches itself into your face, you just want to help, but Touya growls in your ear, orders you to stop being a fucking brat, chest rumbling against your back.

And by the end of it, you’re covered in a glistening layer of sweat, legs quivering so bad that you’re barely able to stand, the cotton of your panties soaked all the way through and sticking uncomfortably to your aching pussy, your slick slippery on your inner thighs after having seeped through the thin material.

Everything hurts, muscles feeling like they’ve been filled with sand, Touya chuckling as he stands and stretches his hands above his head, cock still straining painfully against black denim, and murmuring about how cute you are when you’re tired.

“Tired,” Natsuo snorts with a roll of his eyes, just after the rest of your family has trudged up the stairs to get ready for bed, Fuyumi struggling to support a barely coherent Shouto.

You look over at him, head quirking curiously.

“You two were misbehaving,” he smirks, glancing between your faces self-righteously. “You were quite naughty tonight, don’t you think?”

Pricks of humiliation crawl along your skin. He noticed?

Of course he did, how could he not? His voice is sharp, stings like a slap to the face, a tone you don’t hear very often from him, and it wasn’t very fair to make him sit through that and not be able to touch, was it?

“No, it wasn’t,” Touya agrees with a shake of his head, sounding almost solemn, though amusement glitters in his azure eyes, a hint of a smirk playing at the corner of his lips. I think we should make it up to poor Natsuo, princess. Don’t you?

They’re looking at you like a pair of starving jaguars, stone and sapphire eyes glinting dangerously in the hazy yellow light the little lamp provides as they prowl towards you, trapping you between their bodies and the edge of the couch.

“I-I…” your voice dies in your throat, eyes darting between the two men as your heart begins to race. You don’t know, you aren’t sure, is this even allowed?  

Then they’re laughing at you, cooing at you as their hands paw at your body, pinching and cupping and squeezing, Touya murmuring about how you’re going to help Natsuo out like a good girl while carrying you up to your shared bedroom and placing you on the bed, Natsuo following close behind, shutting the door with a gentle kick of his foot.

Then Natsuo’s crawling onto the bed beside you, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I bet you look so pretty when you cum, baby,” His voice is low, rough, and it makes your stomach flutter.

His words pull an unexpected gasp from your throat and your eyes find his, blinking twice in genuine question. “D-Do you think about that?”

“Fuck,” he nearly whimpers, sharing a look with Touya, who chuckles smugly, leaning against the wall a few feet away, arms crossed casually over his chest.

“I told you,”

Forehead wrinkling as your brow furrows, your gaze darts between the two of them, unsure of exactly what it is they’re talking about.

“Yeah, sweetheart,” Natsuo breathes, eyes hooded as they scan your body slowly, working back up to your face as he grinds the heel of his hand against his hardening cock. “I think about it,”

The burning deep in your belly flares at his dark stare, thighs rubbing together as you hold his eyes, sweet little pants escaping your parted lips. Make it up to him, huh?

“I wanna—” you start, looking over at Touya and swallowing thickly. “Can I cum on his cock?”

Natsuo chokes on a whine the moment the words leave your lips. “Christ, niisan, she’s gonna kill me,”

Touya huffs out a little laugh, though his eyes do not leave yours as he considers.

Usually, the answer would be no, absolutely not. Touya has always refused to share your pussy with anyone—that was his and his alone. However…

If there’s anyone he would even think of sharing it with, he supposes it would be his brother.

“You wanna cum on his cock, baby?” he asks slowly, sapphire eyes watching you sharply, analyzing every micro-expression, every twitch of your brow, every quiver of your lips.

You’re unsure if it’s a trick question or not, but you’ve learned that it’s always best to be honest with your niichan—he’d know instantly if you were lying, anyway—so you nod, sucking on your bottom lip. “J-Just once,” you add, after a beat of silence.

“I mean, it is Christmas…” Touya trails off, looking over at his brother, who’s glassy gaze is glued to your face. “What do you say, Natsuo?”

“Seriously?” his eyes fly to Touya’s, wide with disbelief, not nearly as bold as he was in the living room. “I mean—I don’t—I’m not here to overstep any boundaries—”

“I know,” Touya cuts him off calmly. “I trust you,”

Trust. That’s rare with Touya, an honour to be told, and Natsuo’s eyes soften.

“It’d be a privilege to have you cumming on my cock, baby,” he tells you, voice so gentle, so sweet, so sincere, foiling the dirty words spoken.

But your fingers are trembling, tangled in your lap, and your heart is racing, pounding against your ribcage, and your mouth is dry, throat stuffed with cotton. Blood rushes in your ears as you look over at your niichan again, worried, scared. Is this a test? Is he really allowing you to ride someone else’s cock?

A frown materializes on his face and he stalks forward, stopping in front of you and reaching out to cup your cheek and tilt your head up, thumb caressing your cheekbone as he stares down at you.

“What is it, baby?”

“C-Can I really?” you ask, voice barely above a whisper. “You won’t—You won’t be mad?”

Both men coo and Touya laughs, eyes shining in the dark. “No, I won’t be mad, princess,”

“Promise?”

“Promise,” he nods, hand moving to pet your hair once. “Now, come on,” he gives you a light slap to the cheek, eyes darting to the bulge in Natsuo’s grey sweatpants. “Can’t wait to see you take that monster, baby,”

Monster isn’t exactly an exaggeration.

He’s bigger than Touya—not by much, maybe an inch or so longer, but considerably thicker. The head of his cock glimmers, decorated with a pearl of precum, thick and veiny and nowhere near as pretty as your niichan’s.

“Look at her,” Touya teases from his spot across from you, now perched on the edge of the other bed. “She’s already salivating over it,”

And it’s true, at least in part, your wide eyes glued to Natsuo’s cock as endless heat gushes, throbs, between your legs, little cunt suddenly feeling very empty. Touya’s been teasing you all damn night, an intense neediness building in your chest, powerless to stop the pathetic little whine that gets caught in your throat when Natsuo shifts on the bed, rearranging himself slightly and patting his spread thighs.

“C’mere, baby,” he’s saying as you climb over him, massive hands clutching your hips as you hover above his cock. “Lemme give you what you need,”

And the high pitched moan that slips from between parted lips as you sink down onto him is nothing short of pathetic. Natsuo emits a breathless little laugh as dark grey eyes watch the way your face screws up in discomfort, little whimpers spilling from your lips as he splits you in half.

“Aw, baby,” he murmurs, never slowing his pace as he forces your hips down, down, down. “We didn’t prep you properly, did we?”

No, they didn’t, neglecting to stretch you out at all, copious amounts of your own slick the only thing aiding Natsuo’s cock as he shoves it into you.

“Your fault, you know,” he whispers in your ear as he finally bottoms out. “If you hadn’t been so greedy, so eager to hop on my cock, maybe I would’ve let’cha cum on my fingers first. But what more could I expect from a slut?”

Your eyes snap open, inhaling sharply, unused to hearing Natsuo talk with such derision, unused to the way it makes your stomach positively swoop. He’s already looking at you, a small grin on his face, and, oh, he knows.

Natsuo doesn’t afford you a second to adjust to his girth, though, immediately bouncing you in his lap like you’re just some toy for him to use, hips bucking up into you wildly, malicious laughter escaping his chest as you whimper out Hurts, Natsuo, i-it hurts, Touya snapping at you to be a good little whore and just take it.

But the stinging fades quickly, like it always does, finally yielding to that heady mix of pain and pleasure, and it feels so good, the stretch is so good, Natsuo is so good.

Natsuo snickers, berating you for your extremely limited vocabulary, and you’re so cute, all stupid and fucked out like that from bouncing on his cock—you’re so fucking easy, aren’t ya?

His degrading is punctuated by his hard thrusts, blunt nails biting into the flesh of your hips as he fucks you, as he uses you, each piston of his hips forcing you closer and closer to that edge, the one Touya has already dangled you off of so many times tonight.

Todoroki cock must really make you dumb, huh? Turns you into nothing but a drooling, senseless little cocksleeve, isn’t that right, baby girl?

You’re having trouble concentrating on anything, really, overwhelmed by sensations and sounds, by Natsuo’s steady stream of words and the smack of your ass against his thighs.

Can’t even answer me, foolish little girl, already drunk with cock and we’re just getting started.

Yes, you whine, nodding your head in lazy little jerks, pushing the word out of your slackened mouth. Yes, yes, yes!

Your skin is crawling, itching, blazing, your head lolling to the side, connecting with glowing sapphire, and you swear you can feel his gaze on your body, leaving a trail of blistering heat in its wake.

His cock is still so hard, but he doesn’t touch it, completely captivated by you. He doesn’t ever want to forget this, he tells you, unblinking eyes searing into yours, wants to see the way your face contorts in ecstasy when you cum all over his brother’s cock, wants to commit it to memory.

And it’s Natsuo’s mean, belittling words, spoken in that saccharine sweet patronizing voice paired with each rough drag of his thick cock, plus Touya’s shallow breaths, little gasps and inhales, the way his dark eyes almost sparkle as he watches you, that have you creaming on Natsuo’s cock embarrassingly quickly.

Your eyes don’t leave his, though, sapphire all you can see as your orgasm tears through you almost violently, the pulsing release almost painful after being edged for so long, little pussy aching as it clenches around Natsuo’s cock.

A pathetic little whimper slips through your lips as your body collapses against Natsuo’s firm chest, head automatically nuzzling into his neck. His cock is still so hard inside of you, twitching as your hips involuntarily shift a little. Strong hands find your waist, a patronizing chuckle blanketing you as they begin to knead your flesh.

“Idiotic little girl, we aren’t done yet,”

The words are harsh, almost spit out with that small chuckle, dripping with condescension and rolled in icing sugar—and his tone is so ridiculing, speaking to you as if you’re so dumb, so silly and God, you really do go so stupid from cock, don’t you?

Another laugh rings out—niichan’s this time, and he’s saying something—something about Natsuo’s cum filling up that empty head of yours, you think—as Natsuo roughly rearranges your pliant body, pushing your head into the mattress and yanking your hips up.

It’s hard to focus on the words being spoken, brain hazy and floating on post-orgasmic clouds, but you’re fairly sure Natsuo’s promising to make good use of your cute, empty little skull, telling you it’s the perfect little cumbucket.

But Natsuo’s arrogance fades, finally, morphs into high, needy mewls and quiet little moans, interspersed with sharp intakes of air, sucking in curses and your name as he repeatedly rams into you, thrusts growing sloppier, massive hands keeping your hips held up.

“Oh, Christ,” the curse leaves Natsuo’s throat in a pitiful whimper. And although they were talking about it, joking about it, a mere twenty minutes ago, Natsuo knows he must still get permission. “Niisan, can I—can I cum inside?”

And his voice is so whiny, as if he’s begging Touya to say yes, harsh breaths ghosting over your bare back, cool against your heated skin and mingled with little half-grunts, ones that hitch in his throat as he continues to pound into you, pace never faltering.

Desperate pleads begin spilling from your lips almost instantly, urgent and uncontrollable, brain mushy with thoughts of ice cold hands on your waist and a thick cock buried within you, intoxicated by the scent of cool mint and tangy lemon.

“Oh, please, niichan, please,” you’re sobbing into the mattress, bleary eyes squinting as they try to focus on the watery blur you assume is Touya, still seated on the other bed. “Please, want his cum, want his cum for Christmas,”

“Holy fuck,” Natsuo’s gasps out brokenly, a loud moan reverberating in his chest. “Please, Niisan,”

Touya chuckles, and if it weren’t for the slight breathlessness to his voice, you would have figured him entirely unaffected. “Yeah, fine, go ahead,” he says passively, as if it makes no difference to him. “She’s a little cumslut, anyway,”

A steady stream of overlapping, practically incoherent thank you’s flow from yours and Natsuo’s mouths, getting lost between pitchy mewls and the slap of skin against skin as his taut hips meet your ass.

“Nat—Natsuo-nii!” you cry, so fucked out that the honorific doesn’t even register in your mind, blissfully unaware in that moment that you’re older than him, little hole pulsing around his thick cock. “Natsuo-nii, please, please, give it to me,”

“Oh God,” he chokes on the words, gurgling them in his throat.

His hips piston into you once, twice, three more times, and then they’re stilling, pressed flush against you as he falls forward, sweaty chest pressed against your back, strong arms caging you in as his cock throbs, filling your little cunt with powerful spurts of thick cum.

It’s like a rush of frost through your veins, not scalding the way Touya’s cum is, sending vicious shivers skittering across your skin. It’s soothing, almost, cool and pleasant and has you pushing back against him, hips wiggling a little as you try to milk him for just a bit more. Plush lips find the back of your neck, pressing kisses along your sweaty hairline, a tongue darting out a moment later to lap at the salty substance.

He stays pressed against you for a moment more before straightening up, pulling out with a hiss and heavily collapsing back on his heels, legs tucked under himself.

“Let’s see,” Touya’s saying, as if he’s asking Natsuo to show him his homework, not to examine his brother’s cum leaking out of your aching cunt. “God, look at that,”

You whine a little, hole fluttering as Touya gently blows hot air against it, and Natsuo groans out a curse, voice raw and wrecked.

Hands—Touya’s hands, you can tell, you’re sure of it—curl around your hips, halting them from their slight swaying. A soft, surprised yelp gets caught in your throat when you feel something wet, something warm, something strong, lick along your slit.

“Aw, niisan!” Natsuo scolds, emitting an indignant sound from the back of his throat. “That’s so…That’s so…” his voice tapers off into a soft whine that has Touya chuckling against your swollen lips, the tip of his tongue flicking against your clit teasingly before he pulls back.

But, wait, that isn’t fair!

“Niichan,” you whimper, hips squirming in his loose grasp. “Niichan, want some,”

“Yeah, baby?” he asks, hands running over the smooth skin of your ass, thumb caressing his scarred name. “You want some of Natsuo’s cum, too?”

“Please,” you beg, hole clenching again at the thought. You can feel it oozing out of you, thick and cold, and hate the thought of it being wasted on the bedsheets.

You expect Touya to swipe nimble fingers along your slit and gather cum to feed you, gasping loudly when you feel his tongue on you again. The strong muscle laps at the cum trickling down your inner thigh, then it’s curling against your cunt, inside of your cunt, collecting as much of the syrupy substance as it possibly can.

A hand fists in your hair, using it as leverage to yank your head up. Your mouth falls open instantly, expectantly, and Touya lets his younger brother’s cum—now watered down with his own saliva—dribble from his mouth into yours.

Natsuo chokes something out—you aren’t sure what, you weren’t listening, hyper-focused on the way sapphire burns into your skull as cream coats your tongue—and Touya’s open mouth molds into a sinful smile, still drizzling the sticky, viscous substance into your mouth, letting his tongue hang out of his mouth as gooey strings of white drip off of it.

“Such a greedy little baby,” Touya says after he’s emptied his mouth, voice almost affectionate. “Now be a good girl and swallow. Swallow for Natsuo,”

And you do, of course, because you are such a good girl, such a good girl for Natsuo, such a good girl for your niichan.

“You guys are nasty,” Natsuo almost pants out, failing to keep the whine out of his voice, gunmetal eyes scanning your little hole, licked clean and now gleaming with Touya’s saliva. “Fuck, that was—hey, wait…What’s this?”

“About time you noticed,” Touya mutters, and your heart sinks.

You know exactly what he’s looking at.

A beat of silence passes, and you keep your head buried in the sheets, terrified to move even an inch.

“What did…Did you…?”

“Yeah, with a soldering iron,”

“Jesus Christ,”

“I deserved it,” you whine out, muffled by the mattress, guilty tears springing into your eyes. “I was—I was very bad,”

Glowing ruby and soft, fluffy tufts of silvery-blue hair flash through your mind, eyes squeezing shut tightly as stinging spears rip through your chest, straight through your heart and right to the core of your body.

No. Now is not the time to think of him. It is never the time to think of him.

A tiny sniffle escapes, your chest hiccupping with it, and you clench your teeth hard, so hard your jaw aches, in an effort to keep any other sounds from escaping. Touya hushes you, large hand warm and heavy and oh so familiar on your lower back, thumb caressing the silky skin just above the swell of your ass. You’re good, he tells you, voice quiet but firm, and you nod into the sheets.

“That is so fucking hot,” Natsuo breathes out, eyes flying to the brand again, his voice breaking you out of the reverie you nearly fell into. “Can I touch it?”

The question startles you—no one else has ever touched it except for Touya. Your mouth stays shut, body stiff and still, waiting for your niichan to make the decision.

“Sure,” Touya finally answers, your entire body flinching when Natsuo reaches out to trace the name with his pointer finger, first forward; T, O, U, Y, A, and then backwards; A, Y, U, O, T, the letters echoing through your mind in Touya’s smooth, deep voice as he does so.

“Holy fuck,” Natsuo whispers as he sits back again, the bed jiggling a little with the motion. “That’s…”

Touya gazes down at it as he blows air out of his mouth, fingers running across it slowly, feeling the slightly raised letters of his name in an almost gentle caress.

He didn’t expect it to scar as bad as it did, his name forever etched into your skin in thin silvery streaks that almost shine when the light hits them right, but you didn’t seem to mind. It’s pretty, you had told him, in that gentle soft voice that makes his chest feel as though it’s blooming its own tiny ball of sunlight. It’s yours, niichan.

He wonders what Shouto would think, if he knew, how he’d feel, if it would make his throat burn and his eyes sting and his chest stutter, if he would weep for you. Touya hopes he would.

“Mine,” he whispers, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to it, his tongue darting out and laving over the entire name once before the tip traces the letters. “Mine.”

“Yours,” you whimper, hips greedily pushing back again. “Niichan, niichan, please,”

He hushes you, tells you he’ll give you his cock now, quiet, quiet, rearranging your body so you’re on your side and bending your legs, pushing them up towards your chest and revealing your little cunt to him. Large hands drag your hips to the edge of the bed, sure to keep the ass cheek with the brand facing upward, facing him.

The gentle clinking of his belt has your toes curling in anticipation, the head of his cock nudging your little hole a moment later.

He delivers one quick thrust, burying himself in your snug little cunt in a singular motion, groaning about how you’re still so tight, how you still feel so good, even after being pounded by his brother.  

His pace is merciless from the very beginning, hard and fast and so fucking deep, pulling broken cries and rough little whimpers from your raw throat, one of his hands on the mattress to stabilize himself while the other weighs down on you, pinning you to the surface.

“Niichan!” you’re squealing, Touya’s blunt nails digging into the meat of your thigh as he uses it to steady you, large hand splayed out on your skin. “Niichan, nii-niichan, it hurts,”

It more than hurts—hurts doesn’t even begin to describe the excruciating thorns of pain intermittently racing through your upper body as he slams against your cervix, shooting straight to your core and festering in your throat. You can feel them collecting in the column, wedged tightly between the gummy walls, and you choke on them, gag on them, coughing around them as you urgently gasp in air.  

“But you can take it though, right?” he pants out, cobalt eyes wide and frenzied as they burn into your face. “You can take it, because you’re a good little slut for niichan, aren’t you?”

Salt stains the back of your throat, tears and snot mixing as you sob into the mattress, face half-buried in the rumpled sheets.

Yes, yes, oh God yes, you want to be good for him. “Uh-huh,” you breathe out, the noise stuttering past your lips in time with the quick snap of his hips.

And, fuck, you’re so fucking beautiful like this, so fucking hot, taking his cock so well when he’s giving it to you so hard.

“Good,” he gasps, eyes zeroing in on his name etched into your ass, peaking out from between his thumb and forefinger, glimmering when it catches in the pale moonlight. “So fucking good for me,”

Because you are, with your dedication, and your submission, and your pure devotion to him as he brutally fucks you, taking everything he gives you, taking it so well.

And it’s these thoughts, swirling in his mind as you gaze up at him, a mess of sweat and drool and cum, teary eyes dazedly watching him like he’s some sort of god, that have his hips stuttering, filling you with cum, thick and hot and so much, your body going lax under his grip as he chokes out how much he loves you.

Senseless gurgling bubbles past your lips as you try to move, try to roll onto your back or uncurl your limp body, whining softly when you find that you can’t. Two silhouettes loom over you menacingly, the sound of laughter and mingled voices blanketing you, murmuring words you can barely make out. Another pathetic whine hitches in your throat, tongue sluggish in your mouth as you try to speak again, losing the battle with your heavy eyelids a moment later, finally engulfed in darkness. 

[iooiu]

wait wait wait.....i read all of your hxh fics last night/this morning after reading the coffee shop one first and falling in love with ur writing, commented and then wanted to just follow u here because ur so cool, and i realize that ive seen ur work before):?:??:/??/? UR AN ARTIST TOO?;??:?:! YOU LITERALLY DO IT ALL id love to beta read for u (but thatd take away from the kurapika tag and i dont think i can do that)........or uh......be ur friend......im so awkward please help me but im sending lots of love your way

WAAAAH UR SO SWEET OH MY GOD IM GONNA COMBUST I AM I AM. i saw ur comments and omg i almost vibrated out of existence they lit up my whole DAY so ty ty ty sooo much <33 AND IM SO HAPPY U LIKE MY ART TOO AHH this message was like a confidence booster on crack LIKE WOW i can feel the ability to beat people up without hesitation coursing through my veins

ANYWAY YEAH i’ve kinda moved on from hxh but its still so nice to see people enjoy the stuff i made for it, really, it makes my day a 100 times brighter

sending kisses ur way love muah muah! <3 <3

[dienamights]

1 BESTIE HOW U DOIN IM SORRY I WASNT ON TODAY!

2 please oh my god

So not to slam anyone right? They’re enjoying themselves and I’m totally on board with that /gen but..

I’m so exhausted bestie, I’m so tired. We get it babes you want your coochie pounded but like- oh my god I’m so tired of how some fans don’t act like??? Nbs exist or gay men exist??? Ykno? Like so many damn writers are so exclusive??? And it s not like people who are like ‘I’m really bad at writing men or nb reader!’ I understand that but there’s some who genuinely just are actually down right exclusive. I’m so tired of reading shit that’s just targeted towards female readers it’s giving me a headache. And when you specify x male reader in the search so much of it are written by women who are fetishizing mlm and rely solely on the idea of reader being a dom, it’s exhausting and I’m tired- I just want to read something I feel represented and not feel unwanted in the simping community.. I’m so tired babes

And to note none of this is targeted towards you! I can’t even begin to express my gratitude on how supportive you’ve been with my advocating for the gay men who just wanna bottom 🙏🙏

Waaaah I’m doin well! Better w you here ranting 😔💗 sinefkisnddoix its okayyyy, how are you!?

Oh! Alright, I might not understand how you feel exactly, but! I totally understand why you would feel this way!

I do put the blame on myself too cause I haven’t indulged in writing w male or at least gn reader even though it has been on my to do list, since I’ve never written anything about it I kept deleting drafts where I didn’t like how I portrayed the reader. And even though you’re saying that, some people might think that regardless, so please know I am not purposely excluding anyone and I am terribly sorry if anyone did feel like I am, I am practicing on my own to be able to put out content that feels as inclusive as it gets💗

But, I know it feels frustrating and I’m so sorry you feel excluded or even unwanted that must suck, but you’re more than welcome to simp here with me and i’ll try my best to help you with that!

Aaaah I don’t know what else to say! Again, sorry this is happening to you love and I hope it works out and you find someone who does your representation justice! ily kisses 🥺💗💗💗💗💗

[xoruffitup]

Adam Driver on SNL: 1/25 Dress Rehearsal Recap

I’m having dejavu of the best kind. I’m sitting here on the bus on my way back from NYC in hungover euphoria and overjoyed disbelief at everything I just experienced, texting new friends and old, recounting everything in my head and smiling so hard. The September 2018 weekend of Adam’s last SNL show lives in my memory in unmatched infamy, so my excitement was off the charts to do it all again. And because this show was absolutely fucking INCREDIBLE, this weekend delivered in every way all over again!! Seriously, my face aches from how I can’t stop smiling aksnksj HELP :’)

My friends and I were in the Dress Rehearsal, so below the cut are retellings of ALLLL the skits including those cut from the Live show - and no small amount of helpless emotional flailing.

I had an idea of what to expect after attending Adam’s 2018 show, but I nevertheless felt sky-high levels of anxiety when Sarah and we arrived at the NBC shop at 6:30. I knew rationally that our chances of getting into Dress were good with numbers #12 - 14, but every now and then there’s the occasional oddity of only a handful of Standby people getting in. Though even without any uncertainty in the equation, my entire being goes on Hyped/Anxious Overdrive anyway whenever I’m about to be in the same space as Adam sO really there’s nothing for it. :’)

They lined us up by numbers, I did a lot of emotional wobbling like “I can’t believe we’re here again together guys waaaah” (have I mentioned I met these girls at Adam’s last show? Full circle moment of the highest and most beautiful caliber and it had me hella verklempt), and thennnn - drumroll and hushed silence please - the main security guy comes up to the giant line and asks the first 20 people to come with him.

As they constantly remind you throughout this thoroughly nerve-wracking process, there is no guarantee you’ll actually get into the show until you’re physically in the seat. It’s a long, harrowing trip from the NBC store where the line gathers, up stairs, elevators, and through hallways to reach the studio, and you can still be cut even as far as the very last checkpoint if all seats fill up with the people ahead of you. So as you get closer, the excitement spikes higher and higher but so does the worry! We went through security, and then I clung to our new Standby line friend Catherine’s arm as they lined us up two-by-two on the first staircase, with Sarah and @reylonly right behind. I was likely extremely annoying as I couldn’t help being rambly and weird in my nerves and compulsively hugging my girls’ arms. @reylonly did her very best to calm my hot mess down, bless her.

About 45 minutes later (Maybe? I had no idea what time was, lbr) we reached the final point of the elevator and last hallway, and were held just outside the studio. THEN - the woman there instructed the next 4 to follow her in (thank GOD because we were terrified of being split up), WE WENT INTO THE STUDIO WHEW YAYAY OMFG WE WERE THERE!!! - but then oh no it happened so fast that she pointed @reylonly down to a single seat in the center and then the other 3 of us to seats towards the left side of the stage. They were all single seats, but thank GOSH they were all end seats of rows right next to each other. So Sarah was right in front of me and I could grab her shoulder (which I would do a lot in increasingly desperate excitement over the next 2 hours), and Catherine and I could reach across the aisle to cling to each other’s hands! @reylonly was on her own but in an incredible seat, and during commercial breaks we would lean forward to wave and blow kisses to each other and mime flailing or crying as one incredible sketch after another played out in front of us. I made sure to be friendly and talk to the people sitting next to me so they wouldn’t be too annoyed with me and Sarah always grabbing at each other, but LOL they probably thought I was at least a little insane. I mean, maybe for the moment alone when I saw a girl I’d made friends with in line but then lost track of in a seat not too far from me, and we started waving and dabbing at each other. Once we were seated there in the studio, all the anxiety gave way to surging excitement and I was practically bouncing in my seat, so overjoyed to be there and see my dear fandom friends there with me!

Michael Che warmed up the audience with some standup, the House band jammed, and Sarah and I momentarily got Extremely Excited when we saw them setting up the hell backdrop set for the cold open and thought at the time it was supposed to be Tattooine for a Star Wars skit, lolol. But then the actual show started, and with our Adam-eagle eyes Catherine reached out to whisper “there he is! In the blonde wig!” And, heart in my throat no matter how many times I see this man in person, I frantically squinted at all the people waiting just off to the side of the set until I saw that unmistakably Tol Broad back, and then he stepped onto the set and into the lighted camera’s view and I was cheering and clapping so hard for his first appearance that I couldn’t hear who he was supposed to be playing. xD I was just tapping Sarah’s shoulder in front of me, bouncing in my seat a little, and trying not to start levitating with the sheer force of my excitement and joy to be there.

OKAY from here I’ll break this up by skit! Anything that was different or missing from the Live show I put in bold font if you want to skip to that! Starting with...

Intro Monologue

WHAT A GOOD MONOLOGUE, ITS LIKE THEY JUST LET ADAM RUN WITH IT AND WRITE IT HIMSELF IT WAS SO HIM AND HILARIOUS AND WEIRD AND YET CHARMING IDEK I WILL NEVER COMPREHEND THE WONDER OF THIS MAN??

So when he dropped the bomb of “I’m a husband and a FATHER” I clapped Sarah’s shoulder SO HARD, then he made he joke “I’ve made it very clear to my son that he’s second in everything” and I could not bELIEVE the wonder of what I was hearing omfg. I heard the words “my son” come out of his mouth with my own ears WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED, SURE AS HELL NOT ME????

Then he went into the audience to demonstrate how “approachable” he is and was so awk/weird/hilarious I was just losing it, then took his time meandering around the stage and making weird faces into the camera and I was just LOSING IT. And AKSKSJA after that he wandered over to another camera that was lower and kind of hummed as he lifted his shirt and put it over the camera so we got a full on belly button view for 2 unbelievable glorious seconds!! He looked up at the monitors as he was doing it and went “oh you can’t see anything” so that’s probably why he sadly didn’t flash his belly in the Live show.

“Cheer” with Adam as one of the team coaches

I’m going by the skit order in Dress, and this one was first after the monologue. Best part for me was the accent reminiscent of Clyde Logan. :3 But tbh, of the 6 skits they did for the Live show, I kind of wish this one had been swapped for the one performed last in Dress that was sO Wild and would have made fandom absolutely lose its shit aksnksal more to come on that.

UNDERCOVER BOSS AKA RANDY THE INTERN

THE BEST GIFT WE COULD HAVE RECEIVED!! BLESS YOU SNL AND ADAM FOR GIVING US KYLO CONTENT TO BE HAPPY OVER AND LOVE WHOLE HEARTEDLY. T___T

Honestly, I cannot even properly describe my reaction when the Undercover Boss intro logo appeared on all the monitors oHMYLoRDDD. I nearly leapt out of my seat, like my heart nearly jumped clear out of my chest oh my fuck and I was legit holding onto Sarah so much I almost slid out of my seat - I just couldn’t believe it and I cheered SO LOUD. The entire audience erupted with this “HOLY SHIT” vibe outburst and I was SO happy to be there in that moment - knowing that our entire fandom was only hours away from this!! I honestly didn’t expect it at all - after they didn’t do one of these the second time Adam was on, I thought there was no chance. But IT HAPPENED AND IT WAS SO QUALITY HILARIOUS WE ARE SO BLESSED - THANK YOU TO RANDY’S LIL BEANIE AND VEST AND HIPSTER PANTS.

Pretty sure I like half curled up on myself laughing so hard my feet left the floor at OK BOOMER. And at the part with “will Rey take his hand?” I swear MY SOUL NEAR LEFT MY BODY I MEAN IS THIS THE REAL LIFE IS THIS JUST FANTASYYYY

..... Can someone come promise me we really didn’t just collectively hallucinate that??

SAG Awards Fashion Red Carpet

I’m not too disappointed this one was cut. Of all the amazing skits performed, I would have ranked this one lower. Adam and Kenan Thompson were fashion critics talking about celebs’ looks on the SAG red carpet. A minute in Adam says, “We should be paying more attention to the kids!” Kenan: *nervous laugh* “uh, should we??” Adam starts talking about/admiring the outfits for like Finn Wolfhard etc, with hilarious but bordering creepy descriptions like “masculine but not quite fully grown,” until Kenan is like “umm maybe we shouldn’t be talking about kids this much?”

They interview a girl who’s supposed to be Jojo Siwa and Adam’s like “you should know I think you’re beautiful. Kids need to hear more often that they’re beautiful.” Kenan panics, going “alRIGHT we’re gonna cut back to the studio now!” The skit ended with Adam: “I got a ticket to the Nickelodeon afterparty and I’m gonna swipe one of those kids in my pocket!”

“Slow” Digital Short

HONESTLY, this competes with Undercover Boss for my favorite skit of the night. I can’t even tell you - I had literal tears running down my face I was laughing SO fucking hard during this entire thing. From the first moment we heard Adam’s deep-ass voice I absolutely and entirely lost my shit oh my GOD. We’d been so pumped for Adam in some kind of rap sketch when we saw the photos of him and Kenan filming the day before, but it was SO FUCKING GOOD. I will never ever in all my days not bust out laughing at “Bring that ass here” and “In a 65 hour lane going 2” aksnskns I’m on the bus struggling to fight back laughter just thinking about it SEND HELP!!!

It’s just brilliant. The turtle next to his expensive loafers. His cheesy sunglasses. That shot of his glorious bare arms. His deep voice “Baby” when they’re at the door and “But I brought ice cream” oh my god I love it so much BLESS YOU SNL BLESS YOU. I never in all my days thought I’d get Adam rapping but it’s every single thing I never knew I needed.

Del Taco Commercial / “Aw Man I’m All Outta Cash!”

ADAM’S SLEAZY LOOKING LONG WIG LMAO. This one was a wild and funny time once you got into it and just let it go. Once Kyle, Beck, and Adam were all yelling the line and Adam went “You don’t want to kill yourself, you just want a taco, Jesus” everyone was ROLLING. I think the only difference (is this even worth color coding lol) was that after Kyle took his pants off Adam kept slapping his thigh during Dress bahaha.

“Hot Dad” Adam dealing with a clogged toilet at a teenaged girls’ sleepover

Adam and Kate McKinnon comedy together YES PLEASE. This one was all the same as far as I can remember, but I will say that a woop/cheer rose from the people sitting near the set for this one at the line about Adam being a “hot Dad.” Yep sounds about right.

(Halsey’s first song, Weekend Update)

Medieval Renaissance Fair

You can’t have Adam host SNL without giving him some ridiculous character skit ala Oil Baron Parnassus. I absolutely loved how intense and deep he was for this kind of nonsense xD We can thank this skit for giving us footage of Adam yelling “Whore!” and spitting, lmao. Also.... I’ll just say in that outfit and wig he looked even Extra Big in comparison to everyone around him.

Courtroom Trial / Sinbad on Cameo

I’m also okay with this one being cut, but I was biased to enjoy the hell out of it live because the set was right in front of where I was sitting and I had such a perfect view of him. <3

Adam was supposed to be the defendant in a case where a female coworker claims he harassed her by sending “threatening” videos. Adam goes up on the stand and the prosecutor asks “are you familiar with these videos?” Cut over to Kenan Thompson, who’s pretending to be Sinbad on the app Cameo, making videos for the woman that are like “Hey you better give Mark a chance! Otherwise he might come after you!” Adam responds with disbelief: “I have no idea who this Sinbad person is and frankly, your honor, this is pissing me off.” Kenan acts a few more videos which keep getting funnier because he keeps eating things or being in crowded public places while filming them. But in the final video he references Adam’s character’s name so it’s clear he was the one requesting the videos. Adam gets all sad on the stand: “It doesn’t matter. No one likes me anyway!” It ends with Kenan as Sinbad crashing into the courtroom in person.

This was more Kenan’s skit as he really was hilarious, but someone had to explain to me afterwards who Sinbad is and how the Cameo app works so I didn’t quite ~get it while watching. BUT more importantly - Adam looked great despite the weird brown wig he had on. During the second of Kenan’s videos when the cameras were on Kenan instead, Adam’s face definitely started quivering with suppressed laughter until he visibly locked it down like NO FOCUS ADAM. Most of my attention stayed fixed on the buttons of his shirt because hOOo boy were they straining! Without me even saying anything, Catherine reached across the aisle for me immediately afterwards and whispered, “That shirt did /not/ fit well.” OH YES I NOTICED >:33

PBS Science Show

Another one which was performed right directly in front of us!! I already knew this was going to be a good one because Adam went right over to the skeleton mannequin when he came on set and started playing with it, like making the arm and wrist wiggle around. The biggest dork cutie you’ll ever see.

He was standing right under me, which meant once he started handling the balloon I got mighty distracted watching his MASSIVE hands around that tiny-looking balloon. >:)) Then I cracked up so hard when he got exasperated and threw something back against the window. WE GOT TO SEE HIM SMASH SOMETHING IN PERSON YESSSS

Ketchup bottles

Oh my GOD EVERYTHING WAS AMAZING ABOUT THIS ONE FROM START TO FINISH. The best part though might have been the prep beforehand. Someone carried the giant Ketchup and hot sauce bottles onto the set before the actors came on and we were like wtf? (For a minute I was triggered remembering Kanye coming on in his Perrier bottle during the 2018 show) But THEN Adam and Cecily Strong came on in big red shirts and people started lifting the giant plastic bottles over them and LOL we realized where this was going. They definitely struggled for a minute getting Adam’s bottle up over his head because of his height xD People in the audience were already laughing just watching this costume set up, and once Adam got the bottle on a WOOT cheer rose which I later learned was none other than @reylonly aka my hero. It was followed by someone yelling “THATS HOT”, which akndosjan made Adam laugh and raise his arms with a hilarious little shimmy in the bottle. He really seemed to be enjoying himself during the whole show, but during this ridiculous and incredibly hilarious skit especially so.

Game Night / Movie Quote Competition

OKAY this is the skit it’s a real tragedy didn’t make it on air! There were lines in this I couldn’t beLiEvE my ears were hearing, and if we ever get a recording I’m pretty sure the fandom would basically implode. 

Three couples are sitting around a living room having a game night. Adam is sitting with Kate McKinnon with his arm around her. After they finish playing Settlers of Catan, Heidi Gardner suggests they play a movie quote game where one of them says a line from a movie and the rest have to guess the movie. She is clearly very into it, and the others reluctantly agree. It quickly becomes clear that Adam is just as good at the game as she is, and they immediately start becoming competitive. They reach the point where they quote three lines from Captain Phillips in a row, trying to trick each other. As the game gets more heated, they exchange aggressive flirty banter such as:

Heidi: You really know your movie quotes, huh? Adam: Yeah I do. Heidi: And with some BDE over there. Adam: Yeah, I got that too.

AND !!!!!!!!!!

Heidi: You’re quite the movie flick daddy. Adam: I’m the world’s biggest flick daddy.

!!!!!!!!! HE CALLED HIMSELF A DADDY HELP CALL 911 EMERGENCY !!!!!!!!!!

The game keeps escalating until Kate tries to calm Adam down and he brushes her off. Everyone else tries to tell Heidi to relax, and she responds “What?! I’m supposed to lie back and let (Kate’s character’s name)’s hot husband rail me??”

I WAS FLOATING ON THE CEILING BY THIS POINT, I literally couldn’t believe what my ears were hearing alsdfjsldafjlsdkfj!

It gets to the point where they’re both standing, shouting completely vague snippets of lines at each other while the other continues to guess correctly. Until finally Adam exclaims, “I got a good one!” He grabs her and fULL ON kisses her. 

(Pictures from The Adam Driver Files twitter.)

Immediately afterwards she goes, “I know! That was the kiss from (Movie X - I can’t remember the exact title).” Adam: “HOW DID YOU KNOW?!” Heidi: “From how you moved your tongue!”

I’m still reeling from this one. Adam calling himself a daddy, talk of “getting railed” by him, and intense kissing?! Oh my lORDDDD. I’m still trying to keep it playing on a loop in my ears. I’m not sure if we as a fandom could collectively survive a full video of this, but GOD I hope we get the chance to test ourselves. RELEASE THE UNAIRED VIDEO, YOU NBC COWARDS!!!

FLICK DADDY INDEED

...Aaaaaaand that was a wrap! After 10 skits and nearly 2.5 hours, it literally felt like I had run a marathon at a full sprint. I was just trying to process everything I’d just witnessed, while trying to focus on committing every single thing to memory. I just couldn’t believe the range of amazing and hilarious things I’d just seen Adam doing: Play a talking ketchup bottle, call himself a daddy, awkwardly talk about feminine products clogging his toilet, yell “WHORE” then spit and swing a medieval mace around, rap hilariously, and yell about umami?? It was all almost TOO MUCH. 

For full-circle and emotional fulfillment reasons, I wore my Save Ben Solo shirt to the show just like I did at the 2018 show. I had debated beforehand whether it would be too bittersweet to wear it after TROS, but now I’m so glad I did. All these hilarious and zany skits were just what we all needed to continue the cycle of fandom excitement and positivity despite the last month. I’m so incredibly grateful to SNL for such great material for Adam to work with and us to laugh at, and for giving us the perfect reminder that there’s still so much to whole-heartedly appreciate and love. Most of all, Adam himself. <3

THANK YOU SNL AND ADAM FOR ANOTHER LIFE-HIGHLIGHT WEEKEND! <3

[megafangirl1734]

Misunderstanding

A Hak and Yona fanfiction  base off of the extra chapter ‘Wishing You Sweet Dreams Tonight’

Summary: This is and alternative ending to the extra chapter, where Hak actually stays in the bed.

Because the princess in Hiryuu Castle doesn’t know the ways of the world, she`s a little naive.

“Uhm....Hak?”

The princess`s personal bodyguard general Son Hak buried his feelings for the princess in his heart, and practices diligently each day.

“Next! Hurry up! Tuck in your arms!” Hak`s voice could be heard shout across the courtyard, as he trained the soldiers in the castle. “Too weak! Next! What is it?”

“Can you sleep with me tonight?” the princess asked her bodyguard inocently, well completely innocently as she had no idea what she was saying.

The shock of the question had caught her bodyguard of guard, as he accidently sent one of the soldiers flying. Shouts could be heard from the other soldiers, “Waaaah! General Hak, are you crazy!? Someone call the doctor!”

“There are ghosts?” the general questioned in disbelief.

“Yeah...” was the small reply.

Out of sheer annoyance at the ridiculous claim from the princess, Hak turned to leave, muttering to himself, “This is stupid.”

“Ah! Hak, don’t leave me!” Yona shouted as she gripped onto the back of Hak`s outer robe, trying with all her willpower to shop him from leaving. Even though, he was dragging her with him.

Once she finally got Hak to stop, she explained her reasoning for such a ridiculous claim about ghosts. “Last night, when I woke up, I heard a strange noise, and I felt like my body was being held down by something heavy!”

Hak just stared at the princess wondering ‘Is this what they call sleep paralysis?’

“Do you want me to call the maids over?” Hak asked the red haired princess.

“...No, they don’t believe me,” Yona replied, with what appeared to be a melancholy expression. “You are really strong right, Hak? If the ghosts appear again, i hope Hak can help me get rid of them.”

After a moment of deliberation, her bodyguard gave his answer, “...I understand”

“Then my job tonight is just to sleep together with you, right? Excuse me,” hak said while climbing into Yona`s bed.

After Hak got settled in the bed, Yona crawled in on the other side of the bed. Not knowing the implication of the situation if anyone were to find them. After a few moments, Hak jumped out of the bed, a flush coming up to heat his cheeks.

Shocked that the princess would just get in the bed with him, Hak, loudly, questioned his princess, “WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SOMETHING!! WHY DID YOU JUST IN WITHOUT A WORD?!”

“It doesn’t matter, just stay beside me!” she answered back, though not as loud as her bodyguard.

Disbelief spread through Hak at the princess`s statement. With he fierce gaze set upon him, he felt the heat rise to his face again and wondered, ‘What kind of torture is this...?’

After a moment’s hesitation, he asked the question he really didn’t want the answer too, “Do you want someone to ask Soo-Won to sleep with you tomorrow?”

“If you did that, then I would be too embarrassed,” not the answer Hak was expecting, but his heart was great-full for.

“It`s not like that, I just want you to stay beside me. Just sit here, here, here!” she made her point of where she wanted him to sit by repeatedly smacking her bed whenever she said ‘here’.

‘If I think she`s actually cute, then I lose’ the strong general Hak, was battling with something right now. After failing and think she`s cute, he gave in, ‘Damn it’.

Giving in to his princess`s demand, Hak sat on the edge of her bed, feeling slightly uncomfortable and awkward about the situation, “Jeez... is this okay?”

‘Yeah, oh and... give me your finger,” the red haired princess asked her companion.

Never missing an opportunity to tease his princess, Hak had decided to take her request more literally, “You want me to cut it off?”

“No...put your hand here,” done with the stupid teasing of her bodyguard, Yona answered his dumb question, while also reaching out her hand in hopes that Hak would give her his.

Reluctantly, Hak had given in and ‘gave’ Yona his finger, and was shocked to see how she held onto it like it was some sort of tether to the real world. Having seen the flush on his princess`s check, Hak had to fight himself, not knowing what to do or say in this situation. Finally finding the words to say, he says, “...Hime, I feel like you’re acting a little weird...”

“...Before the sleep paralysis, I had a really scary dream..”

“Dream?” he questioned.

“It was a pitch black night and...” scenes of her dream were running through her head. The darkness of the night, the torches of the people chasing them, and the warmth of Hak`s hand as he pulled her to follow him, “You and I were being chased from the capital. We kept running through the darkness...”

A sudden change in Yona`s voice and dread seen on her face made Hak listen more intently to this ‘dream’. Suddenly, for Yona, the scene from her dream flashed and changed before her eyes. Now all she saw was blood splatter everywhere, as she cradled an unmoving Hak in her arms, “When I raised my head, you were covered in blood. No matter how much I called your name... you never responded.”

“After that, I woke up, but you weren’t beside me. I wanted to call out to you, but I couldn’t control my body at all. It was so scary!” the grip she had on Hak`s finger had tightened, “I don’t want to go through that again... so tonight... even if it`s just your little finger, let me hold on to it.”

Having seen the amount of pain the dream had put her through, Hak suddenly pulled his finger your of Yona`s grasp causing her to stare at him in disbelief. She was about to protests, but was stopped when Hak spoke, “Alright then, move over a little.”

“Huh?” was all he got in reply.

“If you want me to `sleep with you`, as you put it. Then move over a bit,” coming out of her shock, Yona quickly scootched over, allowing Hak room to get in the bed. As he climbed in the between the sheets, for the second time that night, he thought to himself, ‘What am I doing?! This is not a good idea!! Abort! Abort!’

Once Hak was fully in the bed and comfortable and stretching, he questioned the princess, “ This make you feel better?”

Expecting a worded reply, its needless to say that the general was shocked and the reply he got from his princess; was here clinging onto his arm and snuggling up against his side, “ This is much better, thank you Hak.” At the same time that the a small smile was creeping up on Yona`s face, Hak was left with facing the consequences of his earlier decision as his hair had turned as read as his beloved`s hair.

Within minutes of becoming comfortable, Hak could hear the soft snores coming from the small woman lying beside him. Not believing the situation he was in, Hak had to pinch himself, with his un-restrained arm, to make sure that this was real, that he was lying in the Princess`s bed, and with her lying next to him.

‘Ouch! So this isn’t a dream’ he thought after pinching himself, ‘Oh man, Mundok would kill me. That makes this even better.’ Hak smiled to himself.

After making sure it was real, he decided that he should at least try, and get some sleep. Not long after closing his eyes, Hak was fast asleep.

Hak woke to the feel of someone shifting next to him, he tried to stop the movement by holding it tighter, so they didn’t disturb his sleep any longer. Curious to see who or what it was, the general cracked open an eye, to see the head of the princess against his chest, her hands curled up into the front of his robe; meanwhile he was hugging her to his chest.

‘Man, this is some dream. Whatever gods are out there, please never let me wake up’ was what the thunder beast thought. Though that thought was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat by the door.

“Ahem!”

That caught the general`s attention, as he looked up and saw the king staring at him and Yona smiling, though he did tried and cover it with his hand. Now fully awake, Hak jolted, waking up the sleeping crimson haired princess.

“Mhmm.... Hak?” she asked, as she was curious about why her bodyguard had shifted.

“Well... good morning Yona, General Hak,” king Il said with a sly smile.

“Ahhhhh! F-fa-father, th-this isn’t...,” Yona started but realised that her friend was still in her bed; frozen from the shock of the kings appearance, and she shove her previous sleeping buddy off of the bed and onto the hard floor.

“King Il, this i-is just a mis-misunderstanding...” both the general and princess where both blabbering and stuttering while trying to explain what was going on.

Meanwhile His Majesty was laughing at the two red faced teenagers, hiding his smile behind his hand, as he walked out of his daughters room.

Both Hak, and Yona were left as blubbering messes.

[prettyallfriends]

Pretty Rhythm: My☆Deco Rainbow Wedding Chapter 11+12 English Translation

(Sorry for the uh... 5 month delay! I know I said I'd try putting these in video form but I have no idea how to use any video editing software </3 Tried Aegisub but that does NOT work well with 3ds footage)

Chapter 11: Aira’s Fashion Love Test?

Mia: Congraaats, Player!

Karin: After winning the Bronze Spiral Cup, you were able to win the Silver Spiral Cup too… That’s galactically amazing!

Mia: Keep going like this and you’ll fill up the Rainbow Charm in no time!

Ayami: That’s right! But how are you meant to collect the rest of the seven coord’s powers?

Mia: Well, you see...

Reina: Huh? Mia, don’t tell me you have some kind of amazing idea!?

Mia: I couldn’t think of one!!!

Karin: Your galactically random outbursts sure aren’t surprising anymore, huh?

Mia: Yeah. Hm, we need to think of something… Huh!?

??? (Aira): What’s up? Everyone’s gotten together and all.

Reina: Aira-san!!!

Aira: Hello. You’re Player-chan, right? Mion-chan told me about you. She said you’re suuuper cute and a reeeally hard worker! It’s nice to finally meet you! I’m Harune Aira!

Reina: Wait a minute! Even Aira-san knows who you are!? That’s insane!

Ayami: Aira-san is a huge, mega, GIANT star who became the Prism Queen!

Aira: I wouldn’t go that far!

Reina: Your modesty’s part of the reason why you’re a star, ya know~ Way different to Mia…

Mia: Hehehe! Harune Aira! Feels like it’s been a hundred years since we last faced each other! ...Wait, that’s it!!

Aira: Hm?

Mia: Harune Aira!!! Do battle with Player!

Aira: Whaaaaat!? Battle???

Mia: Yup, a Coord Rank Test!

Karin: Ooh, I get it. If you can beat Aira-san in a test, you’ll probably fill a slot in the Rainbow Charm!

Reina: That’s right! Aira-san’s in charge of MARs’ coords, after all!

Aira: Rainbow Charm, huh… Understood, I’ll help you out!

Ayami: What should the theme for the coord be, though?

Aira: How about an Ethnic Coord Rank Test, Player? Bring me 7 ethnic My☆Deco stones! If you do that, we can compete in a Prism Show… showdown? Does that make it sound too serious? A “showdown” would make you nervous, huh~

Mia: Oh, come on! Pull yourself together Aira! You’re our senior, aren’t you!?

Aira: S-sorry!!

Reina: Hey!!! Mia! Don’t speak to Aira-san like that!!

Ayami: Hm, ethnic coords are pretty difficult to coordinate.

Karin: Right, and they’re hard to pull off!

Aira: Umm… Player-san, do you like fashion?

Choice: Yes! I love fashion! / I kinda dislike it, to be honest.

Aira: Me too! I love dressing up fashionably! The most important part of coordinating is loving your clothes. “I really want to wear these clothes.” “I wonder what kind of new me I’ll meet if I wear this…” If you stay true to your heart, you’ll definitely be able to create a wonderful coord. Listen to the voice of your clothes…

Aira: Well, it looks like you have 7 ethnic My☆Deco stones. In that case, let’s begin your Ethnic Coord Rank Test! I’m sure it’ll be very happylucky!

(prism show, you may dream. Absolute banger ngl)

Aira: Your heart was wonderfully ethnic, Player-chan! Congratulations, you’ve passed the Ethnic Coord Rank Test!

Mia: Ahh! The Rainbow Charm’s…

(insert rainbow charm)

Reina: The power of the ethnic coord returned to the Rainbow Charm!

Mia: Phew! How many more slots do we have to fill?

Ayami: My memo says that all we have left are the pop, feminine and star coords! 3 to go!

Mia: 3 left, huh? It’d be great if we could complete the Rainbow Charm soon!

Aira: Show me the Rainbow Wedding when you get it, okay?

Reina: Thank you so much for helping Player, Aira-san!

Aira: No problem! I’m super happylucky that I got to talk to Player-chan! Pay close attention to the voice of your clothes, and wear lots of wonderful coords! Let’s go shopping together some time, okay? Ah, lovely coords would suit you really well! Or maybe cool… Ahhh~ I’ll get lost at this rate~!

Reina: Aira-san’s love of clothes is super serious…

Karin: It’s galactically unbeatable…

Penguin-sensei: It seems you’re working hard, Player!

Reina: Penguin-sensei! What are you doing here?

Penguin-sensei: I’ve been watching your progress. You’ve been entering contests and modeling, and you’ve even passed two Coord Rank Tests. Now, you must face a new challenge! And that new challenge is… singing!!!!

Reina: Singing!? So you’re saying she’s making her debut as a singer!?

Chapter 12: Singing PURETTY’s Song With You!

Mia: You get to make your singing debut! I’m so happy for you, Player!

Reina: Though it was a pretty sudden decision…

Ayami: Did something happen?

Penguin-sensei: Please look at this.

Mia: A magazine? “The genius Prism Star with the seven-hued singing voice…” Wait, this is… Rinne!?!?

Penguin-sensei: That’s right. It seems Rinne’s singing debut has also been set. President Asechi saw this, and said that you’d better not lose to Rinne.

Reina: Rinne can use the powers of the seven coords whenever she wants, so I’m sure her singing must be incredible too…

Karin: I galactically need to hear it!

Penguin-sensei: Moving on to the issue at hand, Player. Are your ready for your singing debut?

Choice: I’m so glad to finally debut! / I’m not ready yet…

Penguin-sensei: Good! Those guts are your best feature! It’ll be fine, you only need one thing to become an amazing, shining singer… Singing is all about heart!!!

Reina: H-… heart???

Penguin-sensei: Singing isn’t about technique. You sing straight from your heart. Singing is a pillar of Prism Shows, along with dance and coords. Mastering your singing heart is an important step in becoming a prism star! That being said, I’ve brought along some girls who are also doing lessons. Enter!

Hyein: Nice to see you, Player!

Mia: PURETTY are going to be doing singing lessons with Player?

So-min: Nice to meet you. I’m So-min. Let’s make the most of this lesson.

Shi-yoon: Yaaay! I’m Shi-yoon! Let’s sing some nice songs we can relax to!

Chae-kyung: I’m Chae-kyung! Let’s aim to become celebrity singers!

Jae-eun: Munch munch! I’m Jae-eun. This lesson’s got a really fun flavour to it~

Hye-in: The rest of PURETTY are prism transfer students like me, and we’ve been friends for ages. They’re my precious jeolchin. I hope you can get along with them, Player!

So-min: You’re that popular star, Rinne’s rival, right? We’re working hard doing lessons at Pretty Top to revolutionise our hearts. We cannot waste any of our lesson time, so if you want to do lessons with us… I would like you to prove your strength as a prism star!

Mia: So-min’s hated wasting time and effort for forever…

So-min: Of course I have! Well, I’m also interested in seeing if the rumours about Player were true… A-and is it so wrong for me to want to see their prism show!? Wah… WAAAAH…..

Karin: You should’ve just said so in the first place then…

So-min: Shut up!! Player, perform a show for us!!! Pleeeease~!!!

(basically so-min goes from >:( to crying at the drop of a hat lmao i love her sm. Anyways uhhh this is the live show segment and its not a puretty song so i too am >:( while being seconds away from crying)

Chae-kyung: Amaaazing! Your show was celebrally exciting!

So-min: Your show was so moving I’m wasting tears…

Shi-yoon: Yaaay! Let’s sing together!

Hye-in: Looks like everyone in PURETTY really likes you, Player. When we bring our hearts together as one, we can do anything together. Bringing together our different voices creates a harmony…

Jae-eun: Munch munch! It’s the flavour of friendship!!!

Hye-in: Now then, let’s sing together!

Penguin-sensei: Alright, if PURETTY lead the way, Player’s voice will also shine through. Perform many more shows and make your voice heard!

Mia: Doing a lesson with everyone sounds like so much fun!

Ayami: But Rinne-san’s always alone…

Reina: She doesn’t really need friends, she can use the power of the seven coords after all, right? Though that sounds pretty lonely…

Mia: Hm… Well, there’s no way of knowing how Rinne feels~

So-min: You’re wasting your energy worrying about this stuff.

Mia: I’m not wasting shit!! She’s just a really weird kid, I’m curious about her!

So-min: If you don’t know how she feels, just ask her!

Mia: Huh…??? Ask her???

So-min: Yeah, you’re wasting time thinking about it when you could easily just ask.

Mia: I see! God, So-min, sometimes you know just what to say!

So-min: What do you mean “sometimes”!? You’re one to talk!

Mia: Let’s go, Player!! You come too, Penguin-sensei!

Penguin-sensei: Huh?? Where are we going!?

Mia: We’re going to see Rinne! So-min’s right, if we don’t know what she thinks we should just ask her!

Reina: You don’t even know if she’ll actually answer your questions…

Mia: That’s fine, it’s not like we’ll find anything out unless we try anyway. Let’s ask Rinne about her true feelings! Kaboom!

[laulink]

Here's a prompt. Its vague but i hope you can wprk with it: The red team and Diana find a dragon egg near the edge of arcturus froest and Akko gets to show off her biology knowledge

A.N : OH MY GOD I FINALLY FINISHED IT, YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS !!! I can’t believe it took me so long, I’m so ashamed T_T. Now, gotta post those on FF.net and AO3 and then translate them… Phew…

Anyway, this one was actually pretty fun to write (especially the end, nyehehe~). But for practical reasons I changed the prompt a bit so they don’t find an egg but a baby dragon. I hope you guys will enjoy it !

    Itwas a beautiful day at Luna Nova. The semester had just started, so the littlewitches could still laze around in the school’s gardens, their skin warmed bythe sun, the light breeze of the end of the summer cooling the air just enoughso it doesn’t feel too hot. A normal, quiet day for every witch in theschool… Except for one.

 "ATSUKOKAGARI !“

    Atall brunette flinched upon hearing her professor’s scream. Thanks to an entireyear of hearing some variant of it almost every day, she learned to deduce howpissed Anne Finneran was just by the way she screamed the name of the school’sbiggest troublemaker. And today, unfortunately, she seemed to be verypissed.

    Turningaround with her best sheepish/apologetic smile, the young witch greeted theolder woman :

 "Goodmorning, professor. How can I help you ?

- My morning was good until ProfessorLukiç told me that you interrupted her class by blowing up your potion. Again.

- It wasn’t my fault ! I had beenfollowing the instructions the entire time and everything was going well so-

- So you thought that you could add somepepermint because "it really smells too much”, right ? ProfessorLukiç already told me.

- You have to agree this potion reallysmells like dragon poop.

- Funny that you’re talking about this :since it’s the tenth class you interrupted this month -and may I remind you themonth started only eight days ago-, you will have a special punishment, whichis to go in the forest and bring back the local dragons’ excrements. I expect afull bucket by the end of the day.

- WHAAAAAAT ?!“

    ProfessorFinneran turned around and walked away, not sparing her student another glance.Akko was internally -and externally- growling. The day couldn’t get worse.

*

*           *

    Turnedout that the young witch could be wrong sometimes. The day could getworse.

 "HonestlyAkko, I don’t know what got into you : you should know that mixing peppermintwith fairy powder is the best recipee for a disaster ! We saw that in classjust last week ! I thought you would take your classes more seriously now thatwe are in our second year ; even if you are a hero, you can’t fallbehind with your studies. In fact, your status is all the more reason to workas hard as you can to be one of the best students in the school and show thatyou deserve such fame.

- I know, Diana, I’m sorry…

- If you know, you should be morecareful.”

    Whydid Diana of all people have to come to watch over her and ensure shefollowed Finneran’s instructions ?! Ever since Akko started dating the youngheiress, she had learned that nothing was quite as terrible as havingyour girlfriend watch over you during detention or chores because that meant nohand-holding, no kissing, no chit-chat and LOTS of annoyed -sometimes evenangry- stares because of course your girlfriend is annoyed that 1) youmessed up ; 2) she has to spend her free time watching over you ; 3) she can’tkiss you nor hold your hand even if she wants to because “This isdetention Akko, you are not supposed to enjoy it, no matter who you spend itwith”.

   In other words : it sucked.

 “Comeon, Akko, cheer up ! Lotte smiled. Professor Finneran allowed Sucy and Ito help since we didn’t stop you from putting the peppermint in the potion.With the three of us, this task will be done in no time !

- We might even find some great mushroomsaround here… Kekeke…”

    Akkofelt a shiver run down her spine when she saw her friend’s smirk. She didn’twant to know what kind of potions Sucy could make with the mushrooms growing inthe forest…

    TheJapanese girl stopped when she heard a strange noise coming from the bushes onher right. Curious, she approached it, tip-toeing to see what was hiding behindthe leaves and branches, expecting a rabbit, but what she discovered insteadwas…

 “WAAAAH! A dragon !

- What ?!”

    Herfriends and girlfriend turned to her, disbelief clearly visible on their faces.Diana quickly straightened herself and approached her lover to see said “dragon”,Sucy and Lotte soon following her, one interested and the other frightened.

    Takinga look behind the bushes, Diana saw what looked like a big lizard with deep redscales, two wings and two legs, seemingly asleep.

 “Itindeed seems to be a dragon. A very young one, but a dragon nonetheless.

- Hoho, interesting, Sucy snickered. Iheard that dragon’s wings have interesting properties~

- I don’t think his wings would help youwith your potions Sucy, Akko retorted. It’s a knucker, his wings will barely growany more. And since he seems to be around a month old, I don’t think he canproduce venom yet.

- Wha- Wait, Akko, do you know this dragon? Diana asked, visibly surprised.

- Not personally, but my biology teacherin middle school was very interested in magical biology and fantastic beastsand since I was her best student and liked magic too, she taught me a fewthings. Of course we started with dragons, unicorns, faeries and the like, so Iknow the most important traits of the different dragon species.

- Wow, that’s so impressive Akko ! Lottecheered, smiling at her friend.

- Hehe, thanks ! the brunette smiled.Anyway, it shouldn’t be alone at this age, so I guess it got lost or something.We should bring it back to its home before its mother starts searching for it.

- And where would that be ? asked Sucy.

- They like to live in deep pools andcaves because it’s dark and humid. I think there’s a pool a mile away, so wecould maybe start there ?

- Good idea, Akko, said Diana. I’ll cast asleeping spell on the little one so we can transport it without risk. Even ifhe can’t spill venom yet, he can still harm us if we’re not careful.”

    Theydid as said and twenty minutes later, they were hiding behind the bushes nearthe pool they supposed to be the little dragon’s home. Lotte used her faeriesto scout around the area and find the dragon’s mother, but it seemed that shewasn’t there. However, the little beings found what looked like a nest and,after Akko examined it and confirmed it indeed was the knuckers’ home, the fourwitches left the snoring baby dragon there and ran away as fast as they couldin hope to avoid its mother.

*

*          *

 “Waaaah! What a day ! Akko yawned, tired by the afternoon’s events.

- It indeed was a stressing, butinteresting experience, Diana agreed.

- Well, we’re used to this kind of stuff.We’re Akko’s friends after all, Sucy said with a smirk.

- … You know, I’m glad you said you weremy friend because you don’t say that often, but I’m also pretty hurt that youimplied that I’m a trouble-magnet or something.

- I’m just stating the truth.

- You- !

- Okay, okay, calm down guys, let’s notfight, Lotte interrupted her friends. Akko, how about you go give the bucket toFinneran with Diana ? Sucy and I will go back to our room first, okay ?

- Yeah, okay, grumbled Akko.

- Good. See you later then !”

    Andwith that, the two members of Red Team walked away, leaving their friend alonewith her beloved. A few minutes later and the two stood outside of ProfessorFinneran’s office, having already delivered the dragon excrements, whichallowed them to enjoy their time together to the fullest. For the first timethat day, Diana took her girlfriend’s hand and side-hugged her, letting out asigh of relief at the same time. Akko tensed up a bit from the surprise, but quicklyrelaxed and returned the hug, breathing in her lover’s sweet scent.

 “I’mglad your punishment is over, Diana mumbled in the Japanese girl’s shoulder. Iwanted to spend some time together after our classes ended, but with thisexcursion in the forest…

- Sorry, Diana… I’ll be more careful nexttime, I promise.

- Excuse accepted. I know you didn’t meanto get in trouble. So I guess the best way to make sure you’ll stay out of it is to teach you how toproperly prepare your potions, is it not ? Diana asked with a glint of mischiefin her eyes, which could only mean…

- Sooo… More “study sessions” together,then ? Just the two of us ? asked Akko, smiling knowingly at her girlfriend.

- Exactly, Diana replied, almost purringwhile she tiptoed to give her girlfriend a slow, gentle, but loving kiss. Butdon’t expect to get away from your work so easily that time, the heiresscontinued while pulling away -to her girlfriend’s dismay.

- But Dianaaaa…

- No, Akko. Study first. You will get areward if you work well.

- I worked well today. I deserve a rewardnow.

- That, I can’t argue with. You reallyimpressed me with this little dragon.

- Hehe~ So, can I get a kiss ?”

    Dianasmiled at her girlfriend’s adorable, mi-pleading mi-joking expression andwordlessly pulled the brunette closer to give her the reward she so desperatelywanted.

A.N : Hehehe… Nyehehehehe~ Yes, I am Dianakko trash and I’m proud of it.

SO ! This little prompt here was the last one you guys sent me in august, so now I’m gonna translate and post them as I said in the first note up there. And after I’m done with that (so in six months… No, no, just joking~ Or not…), I’ll write some ideas I’ve had for a long time and some that my readers sent me on my other fics on FF.net and AO3. I hope you’ll like them as well ! I’m not sure how I’m gonna call the “future” collection, but the one with Hannakko, Dialotte and Barbaramanda will surely just be titled “Rarepair”.

Anyway, thanks for reading and have a nice day !

[inkykeiji]

its hot here in new york and ofc 2 wasps found their way into my living room and all i want rn is touya-nii calling me a baby bc im crying and scared and incapable of doing anything on my own and him laughing at me while i hide behind his big strong arms. meanwhile im also screaming at the bees saying 'dont u dare sting my touya!' while he goes to open the window to let them out 🍓<33

AW STRAWBERRY BABIEEEE THIS IS SO CUTEEEEE WAAAAH but also also SAME because i fucking hate wasps oh my god and i go into like a legitimate panic attack when they’re anywhere close to me, so i too would love to have a big strong touya-nii to get rid of the icky buggies for me >:(

DON’T U DARE STING MY TOUYA ( ง ᵒ̌皿ᵒ̌)ง⁼³₌₃ GRRRR I’LL FITE U, STUPID WASPS ( •̀ω•́ )σ

[seigyokus]

7.5 - Re:vale

Idolish Seven - Part 3, Chapter 7.5 For more Part 3 translations, click here!

Translation below the cut!

Momo: ...... Yuki: Done? Momo: Woah! Momo: Y-Yuki.... What's with that metal bat....... Yuki: I figured I'd go in and save you if I heard any screams. Momo: You? With that metal bat...? Yuki: ....... Momo: ....... ....Aha! Ahahaha! Yuki: ......Heheh.... Hahaha.... Momo: Ahahaha! Sorry for laughing. You look good with that metal bat! Super duper handsome! Yuki: Think I can hit a homerun with this? Momo: Ahaha! That's awesome! Yuki: Heheh.... Momo: So, I kinda failed at getting Ryou-san into a good mood. Yuki: I see. There's someone who you'll succeed at getting into a good mood, though. Why don't I introduce them to you? Momo: Who is it? Yuki: Me. Momo: Will I succeed though? Yuki: You've never failed at it before. Yuki: Momo. Do you want to sing or listen to "We, the Incomplete?" Momo: ...... Well, what do you wanna do, Yuki? Yuki: I....... Yuki: I want to sing it with you, Momo. Someday. Momo: ......! Yuki: I'm still afraid, but someday....... After all, it's as if that song were written for you, Momo. Momo: Haha.... No need to flatter me like that. I mean, by the time I started going to your concerts, you guys were already done writing that song. Yuki: I guess so. Wait, no. That's not it...... Momo: What? Yuki: ......It's really embarrassing, so I'll tell you some other time. Momo: Which is? Yuki: Perhaps when I'm on my deathbed....... Momo: That's so far from now!

Sunohara Momose: ......Then how about this? Orikasa Yukito: What? Sunohara Momose: You said you'd feel like you were betraying Ban-san if you kept on going, right? Because you're a gentleman, Yuki-san. Orikasa Yukito: Am I really a gentleman though....... Sunohara Momose: Just five years is fine! That's how long you were Re:vale with Ban-san, right? So please be Re:vale with me! Just for five years! Orikasa Yukito: ....... Sunohara Momose: I won't work with you for longer than Ban-san did. Just think of me as a spare. Orikasa Yukito: ......And after that? Sunohara Momose: You should change partners. But you know, I'm sure you'll have met him by then. Let's get famous so that you can meet Ban-san again! Sunohara Momose: I'm sure Ban-san is still singing somewhere out there. Even if he has scars, he'd still be handsome! We'll definitely find him. Orikasa Yukito: ......Just five years? Sunohara Momose: Just five years. Orikasa Yukito: ....... Orikasa Yukito: ...Understood. ......I accept. Sunohara Momose: ......! Thank you so much! ......Thank you so much! Sunohara Momose: *sob* I'm so glad......! *sob*  Waaaah....... Orikasa Yukito: ....... Sunohara Momose: ......*sob* I thought I was too late! I thought that it was all coming to an end-- *sob* Thank you so much! Thank you-- Sunohara Momose: *sob* Ah.... Waah.... I'm so glad, I'm so happy.... *sob*.... *sob*...! Waaah.... Orikasa Yukito: ...... Every time.... Orikasa Yukito: Every time I'm about to stop, you always make me sing again....... Orikasa Yukito: Thank you, God.......

Takanashi Otoharu: Starting today, you'll be a member of Takanashi Productions. I look forward to working with you. Oogami Banri: Sorry about everything. You even prepared a suit for me....... Oogami Banri: Ah.... I should probably cut my hair, huh. Takanashi Otoharu: You'd look quite gloomy if your bangs were long but everything else was short. You're very cool, Banri-kun, so I think long hair would suit you. Oogami Banri: Thank you very much....... Takanashi Otoharu: However, if it ever becomes too difficult to see what's before you, you ought to cut it. Takanashi Otoharu: You mustn't obstruct your field of vision, since that's what you'll be using to see the future. Oogami Banri: ....... Takanashi Otoharu: I'm sure you're already aware of this, but those who stand on stage are clumsy at times, sensitive at times. Takanashi Otoharu: Those people run with all of their might even when they can't see very well, as if they're driving on a rainy day. Our job is to make it so they see where they're going. Takanashi Otoharu: We must stand on the lookout platform behind them, and make sure there won't be any disastrous accidents and that they won't fall into any tragic pitfalls. Takanashi Otoharu: You're very clever and kind. This is the kind of work you've always been good at. Oogami Banri: ......Will I really be able to help someone? Takanashi Otoharu: Of course. Oogami Banri: ......I'm really happy. I don't think I did anything wrong, but at the end.... I got the feeling that maybe I wasn't supposed to let go. (3) Oogami Banri: It was always a battlefield on stage.... I've always wanted a place to return to.... A place where I could be at peace. Oogami Banri: I hope I can be a fortress for someone, someday. After coming back from the stage, they can be at peace and feel relieved after passing through those gates. Oogami Banri: That's the kind of castle I want to be-- sturdy, solid, and firm. And this time.... Oogami Banri: I'll watch over them as they rush through the stage.... From far, far away....... I want to support their dreams until the very end. Oogami Banri: Otoharu-san.... I had lost my dreams once before, but thank you for giving me a place to make them come true.... Takanashi Otoharu: I'm the one who should be thanking you. However, Banri-kun, you haven't lost anything at all. Oogami Banri: ....... Takanashi Otoharu: Both your old dream from the past and your current dream are still shining strongly and brilliantly, even as it changes its shape. Takanashi Otoharu: See, look. You breathed life into those amazing monsters, and they are now beginning to open their eyes. Oogami Banri: Huh......? Voice from the TV: ......And here's who we've got our eye on for this week! We'll be introducing artists you gotta know in ten seconds, super duper fast! Voice from the TV: First off, here's an idol duo that just debuted! Re:vall! Oh.... I apologize, Re:vale! Oogami Banri: ....... Hahah.... Oogami Banri: This is amazing...! ......Ah, I'm so glad.... I didn't do the wrong thing...... Oogami Banri: That song, that encounter, and that farewell.... Oogami Banri: ......It'll be okay. You're well-loved, by the lowliest of bugs and by God Himself.

Nanase Riku: ....... Izumi Iori: Nanase-san.... Are you making yourself a midnight snack? Allow me to help. Nanase Riku: Ah, thanks. I couldn't sleep, so I kinda just wanted to make something easy.... Izumi Iori: What are you making? Nanase Riku: Carbonara. Izumi Iori: Isn't that a little heavy for a midnight snack? Well, I guess it's fine.... Nanase Riku: I couldn't find any other recipes that looked easy. ......Hey, Iori. You heard Banri-san's story, right? Izumi Iori: I did.... Have you been keeping track of how long you've been boiling the pasta? Nanase Riku: Ah! I forgot to look at the clock. Izumi Iori: How long has it been in there!? At this rate, you're going to overcook it! ......Wait, this isn't pasta this is sōmen! (1) Nanase Riku: S-sorry! I was just so lost in thought.... Izumi Iori: Listen, you can allow your mind to wander while cooking, but only after you've learned how to use a kitchen timer! Nanase Riku: Is there anything we can do to make it into pasta? Izumi Iori: Even if I had the ability to time travel, I refuse to go back in time for the sake of sōmen. ......We can try to make this sōmen carbonara somehow..... Nanase Riku: Say, Iori.... Izumi Iori: What is it? Nanase Riku: Are we gonna come to an end someday too? Izumi Iori: ....... Nanase Riku: I thought I'd be in IDOLiSH7 until the day I die, but that might not be true for everyone, huh.... Nanase Riku: I couldn't help but think that it'd be nice if we could continue on for as long as possible, and that even if the end does come, we'll all part ways peacefully....... Izumi Iori: ......IDOLiSH7 will not come to an end. You are too simple-minded and much easily influenced. Nanase Riku: Well, the end is something that comes suddenly, after all. Izumi Iori: ....... Nanase Riku: People's feelings and bodies change.... When that time comes, I hope I'll be able to talk about it with a smile like Banri-san. Nanase Riku: And think, 'I'm glad it happened the way it did.' Izumi Iori: ....... That's impossible for me. Nanase Riku: ......Why? Izumi Iori: No matter how we end.... Even if all of you are satisfied.... Izumi Iori: There's no way I would be able to say, 'I'm glad IDOLiSH7 came to an end.' ......There is absolutely no way I could say it. Nanase Riku: .......

Anesagi Kaoru: Alright, good work today. I'll come pick you up at 6 am tomorrow. Kujou Ten: Thank you very much.

Kujou Ten: ....... Kujou Takamasa: Welcome home, Ten. Kujou Ten: Kujou-san.... Kujou Takamasa: Sorry I didn't contact you beforehand. I was very busy. Kujou Ten: No, it's alright. Thank you, though. Kujou Ten: ......Just the other day, there was a boy at our door. I didn't know him, but he seemed like he was acquainted with you, Kujou-san. Kujou Takamasa: I'm sure it was Haruka. He must've come to see you. Kujou Ten: ......Haruka? Kujou Takamasa: Isumi Haruka. I raised him around the same time I was raising you, but with a different method. Kujou Ten: Are you making him debut at some agency, like Aya? Kujou Takamasa: No. Kujou Takamasa: He was a failure. (2) Kujou Ten: ......A failure? Kujou Takamasa: Yes. ......I'm going to go sleep for a bit. My friend forced some rather troublesome work onto me. That's why I came back to Japan. Kujou Takamasa: It's in his will, though, so there's nothing I can do about it. Kujou Ten: ......Did something unfortunate happen to your friend? And about this friend you're referring to, Kujou-san, is it......? Kujou Takamasa: It's Haruki.

To be continued....

TL Notes/comments:

THANK YOU @kuriiii for proofreadin!!!

(1) iori literally says 'it'll turn into udon' but im p sure he's referring to the thickness of the noodles since udon are thick noodles, and if you overcook pasta/noodles it'll get too massive. ALSO sōmen = thin noodles. (2) 失敗作 --> usage is generally for objects, like a failed work/product. I feel like adding in the 'product' weakens the impact of the line and generally calling someone a 'failure' is already pretty strong so! yeah (3) -shimau implies a sense of ‘did it by accident/unwittingly’ / ‘weren’t supposed to do that’ like あ！ケーキ全部食べてしまいました！ (“Ah! I accidently ate the WHOLE ENTIRE CAKE”). Hence why I tl’d this line like this.

As usual, if you see any mistakes/mistranslations/etc, please message me!

Thank you for reading!!

[jeonpalette-archive]

Your domestic memes are so cute 😍 Can I request for VMin?

ANYWAY OMG I FINALLY GOT VMIN YOU DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH THIS MAKES ME HAPPY (and scared because i feel like nothing’s ever good enough when it comes to vmin) OKAY so here it goes!

who cooks normally?:jimin. he cooks for them mostly because he doesn’t want taehyung to eat only ramyeon because that’s not healthy baby, i’m gonna make something for you. taehyung would always backhug him whenever he’s cooking. he’ll pester him (”jiminie what are you doing?” “how long will you cook?” “hey come cuddle with me instead”) until jimin gives in and oh my god!!! jimin something’s burning!!!!

how often do they fight?:“how long will you stay?” “as long as you need me to.” “even when we fight?” “especially then.”

as taehyung always say, fight with me jiminie, shout at me, show me that you care. refuse to let me go to sleep because you don’t want to just let it go. are you sick of this? are you sick of us? and jimin’s reply of, what? no way! i’d rather fight with you than have a good time with someone else.

it doesn’t matter how many times they fought or how inconsequentialthe problem is. for them, it’s just a matter of fight or flight. but frankly, escaping has never been their option.

what do they do when they’re away from each other?:the thing about taehyung is that he’s a koala type of person. he likes clinging to people, exclusively to jimin. he likes to follow jimin around. in the kitchen, the bedroom, the bathroom. there’s no but’s. when you see tae attaching himself to jimin as if they’re one [they ARE one though, duh soulmates] it’s nothing extraordinary, just mundane. their friends say they’re like a package because if you get jimin to go, you get taehyung to go too. just how things are and always will be.

nicknames for each other?:taehyung come up with, honest to god, the weirdest nicknames to ever be in existence. chimbae, booboochimchim, chimchum, bubichim, jimbles, papi jimin, hunbun, poo-boo, toots. it’s a long list, jimin could go all day reciting them.

who is more likely to pay for dinner?:they play games of who’s who. sometimes they go for rock paper and scissors if they’re lazy. other days they flip a coin and choose their side. and on days when they’re feeling extra, they would order smoothies and drink them simultaneously. the first one to get a brain freeze pays for dinner. taehyung likes these games because he always wins. (or maybe jimin just likes the way taehyung’s face glows brighter than the sun when he lets him win)

who steals the covers at night?:instead of stealing, taehyung believes that sharing is caring therefore he gives it all to jimin even when he’s going to freeze to death. but jimin said that having the bigger portion of blanket counts for nothing, as long as they share the same bed.

what would they get each other for gifts?:as the saying goes, presence is more important than presents.

on taehyung’s 18th birthday, he really wasn’t expecting anything. having to spent his day with the most important people in his life is enough. although he was unaware of the people who sent him a gift that day, he recognized one. a tiny box decorated with a smiling moon and colorful stars. he knew it was jimin, they were just talking about it the other day while they’re sitting at the park bench + the drawings said it all, he would always know jimin’s doodles anywhere. eager to know what’s inside, he opened it. it was a letter.

meet me tonight. 11:30. same bench.

it was already 11:26, so he hurriedly run to the park. he saw a shadow, unmistakably jimin’s, looking up to the sky. no wonder it’s bright, the moon showed its full face tonight. tae went up to jimin, who smiled at him with eyes that sparkled in the dark.

“hey” jimin whispered. “hey” taehyung whispered back.

it was this serenity that is difficult to find with someone else but was very much present whenever he’s with jimin.

“happy birthday.” interlacing their fingers, taehyung wished that from now until forever, jimin will always be there to celebrate his day. and every day, regardless of how monotonous they are.

who remembers things?:tae forgets every significant event that happens to every one of his friends. but when it comes to jimin, he doesn’t missed anything in the slightest. because jimin is the supreme priority. the transcendence. the matchlessness. the preeminent.

who cusses more?:they had this game where taehyung has to pay jimin for every cuss word that comes out from his mouth and vice versa. they stopped though, because they were both too broke to continue. 

what would they do if the other one was hurt?:taehyung brought a passed out jimin to their bed because he was eating so little but was overworking himself. when jimin woke up, he saw that taehyung’s eyes were red. don’t ever do that again, jiminie! it hurts to see you hurt you know, jerk! jimin smiled to himself. he open his arms so wide and taehyung basically jumped into the space between them. right tae, for you, i won’t.

who kissed who first?:some imagine their first kiss to be romantic. it happens on the top of a ferris wheel with some fireworks show in the background. but jimin never did. all this time, he didn’t mind when or where, or if there’s explosions happening around them. because all this time, he just wanted one thing. he wanted it to be taehyung.

so when his first kiss happened with jungkook, let’s just say he was pretty much devastated. jungkook apologized but he couldn’t bring himself to stop sobbing. taehyung was there the whole time, not knowing the real reason why he’s crying yet comforting him all the same.

“tell me how to make it better jiminie.” maybe it was the distressed or maybe it was pure courage. maybe because he had nothing else to lose. either way, jimin confessed. the thing he should’ve done years ago. “you should’ve been my first kiss.” sniff sniff. 

“hey hey jimin, look at me.” he did. “i can still kiss you.”“but it’s not my first kiss anymore.”“it might not be. but it’ll be the first kiss that mattered.”

who made the first move?:taehyung cupped the world in his hands. (read: jimin) he closed the distance between them. before jimin can have a mental breakdown about what’s happening, taehyung’s lips reached his and all he could think about is FUCK FUCK FUCK THIS IS IT. THIS IS WHAT IT TAE’S LIPS FEELS LIKE.

when they let go each other to breathe, taehyung subtly pushed the strands of jimin’s hair from his face. “you know, if you want to kiss me, you could have just ask.” but even when he said that, tae felt like a complete hypocrite. considering the fact that he’d been wanting to kiss jimin ever since they were 14-year-olds. younger even.

who started the relationship?:nobody knew when they started dating because the way they treat each other never changed for as long as anyone has ever remembered. but of course, jimin did. jimin memorized every single detail the night taehyung proposed. 

it was a tuesday night. the weather was so bad, the rain wouldn’t stop dripping. despite that, it was cozy being wrapped up in taehyung’s arm. and then suddenly, taehyung hovered over him. 

“can i ask you something jiminie?” he was unsure. jimin could see the way anxiousness flooded over his face.“anything, tae.” he smiled. reassuringly. like saying, go on tae, i will listen.

he kissed jimin’s forehead. will. he kissed his cheek. you. a soft peck on the nose. be. before taehyung could even finish, jimin boosted himself up. almost bumping his forehead to tae’s chin. god, atleast that didn’t happen.

“YES YES YES OH MY GOD BABY YES” he tried to act composed but holy hell, taehyung is asking it now. taehyung taehyung taehyung.

“but I wasn’t finished yet…” his other half pouted. acting like he’s hurt from being interrupted.

“ok, uhm, do you want to finish it?” jimin said, still beaming radiantly.

“do you think i’d want to finish it now?” rolling his eyes, again. ugh jimin hated that. 

“hey, uh sorry. i’m sorry. it’s just, idk. i was so hap-” a peck. seriously? he was so nervous tae would take it all back.

“gotcha!” tae said playfully. wowowow this isn’t happening is it? is it??

…and the night went on like how fate made it to be. there’s a lot more to that story. a lot more to it than just being taehyung and jimin. a lot more than just being official. maybe it was a coincidence that led them to meet one another. or maybe it was kismet. regardless of what that something could be, it is for certain that they found each other’s kindred spirits. and whatever hardships may exist; jimin would find taehyung and taehyung would find jimin. unfailingly, forever.

i actually finished it last night but i am still not satisfied? it’s still not enough. idk : ( waaAAh vmin is so pure i’m crying : ( anyway, i typed a lot? this is definitely unbeta’d and will fix it soon because i have a ton of homework due tomsy and hey! thank you for asking! ❁ 

[pandastix123]

Family AU: I'm Always Right Here:

(The songs I listened to while writing this, the reunion lullaby from Island Princess and Baby Mine.) ~~~~~~~ "WAAAAAH! WAAAAH!" A piercing cry came from the end of the hall. "Hu?!" Shiro sprung out of bed, kicking the sheets off and making a break for one of the bedrooms. "DON'T WORRY! DADDY'S ON HIS WAY!" "WAAAAAHH!" Shiro practically slid into Keith's room. Keith was buried in his red blankets, and by the urgency in his cry, Keith was having a nightmare. "Daddy, Keef's being lowd." Lance whined from the doorway. "I know buddy. I'll deal with it. Just go back to sleep." Shiro whispered. "OK." Lance went back to the bedroom he shared with Hunk, dragging his blue lion by the arm. "Shhhhh. Its all right. Everything's gonna be okay." Shiro whispered, rubbing Keith's back. Keith's cries began to die down. "Hold me, pwees." Keith asked, his little arms outstretched, tiny hands opening and closing in demand. Shiro sat the toddler on his lap, cradling Keith's upper half. Shiro repositioned himself so that he had one leg tucked underneath the other. Rocking his son gently back and forth. "You're safe here kiddo. Daddy's got you. You're gonna be alright." He whispered intothe top of Keith's head. ~~~~~~ "But I don't wanna!" Keith protested, crossing his arms and stamping his foot. "I know that this all sounds a bit scary, Keith. But its necessary." Shiro said, slowly. "BUT I DONWANNA!" Keith screamed. Shiro tilted his head back, pinching the bridge of his nose. 'I'm dealing with the universe's most stubborn 6 year old.' He thought. "I donwanna. I'm not sick. I donwanna." Keith sobbed, sitting under the dinning table, hugging his knees. Shiro sighed, got down on all fours and crawled over to the table. "Hey buddy. Listen, I know, I know that this is frightening. But listen to me-" "MHM!" Keith squeaked, turning his back to his father. "Keith... Listen to me; I know that this is scary. But you're sick, and the only way you are going to get better is if you let the doctors operate on you, little cub." "But I'm not sick, daddy." Keith said, right before hacking up something awful. Shiro reached under the table and scooped the little one up. Crossing his legs, Shiro sat on the dining room floor, cradling his crying child. "I'd never let the doctors do anything to hurt you, Keith. But I also don't want you to get so sick that you can't live with us anymore." He looked down at his son. "You don't want to have to live at the hospital, do you?" Keith sniffled and shook his head. "So will you let the doctors remove the bad things from your lungs?" Keith nodded. "Good boy." Shiro held him closer and began rocking the crying child in his arms. ~~~~~ "Well if you don't want to tell me what's going on with you-" "I like boys." Keith said quickly. Shiro turned around, that was clearly not the answer he was expecting. "But I also like girls. I..." Keith started breathing quickly and heavily. "I just... I don't know what's wrong with me. I... I just..." Keith huddled into a ball, bringing his knees to his chest, clutching his head tight in his hands. "Its just who you are son." Shiro said softly. "You can't help it." Kneeling in front of Keith, gently stroking his son's dark hair. "Why can't this be simple?" Keith sobbed. "I never asked to be this way! I don't want to be like this. I just want things to be easy!" "Honey, life isn't easy. We don't get to choose who we are, how we feel, who we love. Its just what who we are." Shiro explained. Keith cried into his arms, which were now crossed over his knees. Shiro sat next to him on the couch and placed his boy in his lap. Resting a cheek on Keith's head, Shiro hummed soothingly. "You're only 11, you've still got a lot more life to live." ~~~~~ "Don't you dare blue shell me, Pidge! Don't you dare!" Shiro warned. "Too bad! So sad! You're a lame dad!" Pidge cheered. Shiro would've won, had it not been for the doorbell ringing. "Pause the game please, Pigeon." Shiro said as he got up to answer the door. "Sure thing." He opened the door to find Keith standing on the other side, looking about to cry. "Keith, what happened to your date with Becky?" Shiro asked. Keith pushed past his father. "It just didn't work out okay?" Keith grumbled, walking to kitchen. "Is Keith back?" Hunk asked, making his way down the stairs, Lance following closely behind. "I wanna hear everything! Like why Becky Jaspers decided to go out with you." Lance said. Everyone was in the kitchen. "There's really nothing to tell. It didn't last very long." Keith explained, eating the chocolate ice cream straight from the plastic container. "Keith Akira-Jackson Shirogane, how many times have I told you not to do that?" Shiro scolded. Keith looked his father dead in the eyes and threw the spoon into the sink and sloppily put the ice cream away. "Even when I'm hurting you can't let me have anything." Keith muttered. "What was that?" Shiro raised an eyebrow. "NOTHING!" Keith shouted, stomping up to his room. The bedroom door slammed shut and locked. "He does remember that we share a room, yes?" Hunk asked no one in particular. "You three stay down here," Shiro said. "I'm gonna get to the bottom of this." *** Shiro knocked on the bedroom door. "GO AWAY!" Keith shouted over the blarring music. "No, let me talk to you." "What part of 'go away' do you not understand?!" "You do NOT speak to me that way, boy. Now let me inside this instant." The music cut off and Keith unlocked the door. He opened the door and flopped back onto his bed. Buring his face in his red pillows. "Now what's going on? What happened to your date with Becky? I thought you really liked that girl." Shiro asked. "Iznufin." Keith mumbled into his pillow. "What's that?" "IT'S NOTHING!" Keith yelled. "There's no need to yell." Shiro said as he sat at the foot of Keith's bed. They were both silent for a few moments. Shiro looked around and something on a shelf caught his eye. Sitting slumped in the middle of about a dozen fencing trophies was Keith's plush red lion. "Would you feel more comfortable telling Red?" Shiro asked, hopping the lion to the side of Keith's face. "Dad...." Keith groaned. "I'm not a little kid anymore." "You'll be my little kid." Shiro smiled. Keith sat up and exhaled. "Becky said she couldn't date someone like me." "What do you mean, 'like you'?" Shiro asked, completely confused. "Like me, dad. A bisexual. Becky doesn't feel comfortable dating someone who plays for both teams." He explained. "Oh god, what's wrong with me?!" Keith threw his head into his hands. "Nothing's wrong with you, son. Becky Jaspers is just a dirty biphobe." Shiro said as he wrapped an arm around his son. "Dad...." Keith raised his head, slightly chuckling. "Its the truth. And if she can't see past one little thing about you, Keith, well then she's not worth your time." "Thanks dad." Keith threw his arms around his dad's waist, pulling him into a hug. ~~~~~ "Hey dad, I need a place to crash. Just for a couple days." Keith was now 22, apparently ran away from California back to Virginia. *** "Not that I'm not happy to see you lion cub, but what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at school?" Shiro asked. "Yeah," he sighed. "I just needed to get away for a few days. Figure things out, you know?" "Are you reconsidering your major? Do you not want to do film anymore?" "No, no it's not that. Its just, dad, I don't know what I'm doing with my life. By my age, you were already a CIA agent." Keith began to break down. "Sometimes... Sometimes I look at myself and my accomplishments, and I feel like a failure next to you. Next to the other four." "Keith Shirogane, you are not a failure. Not in the slightest." Shiro disagreed. "Then why do I feel like one?!" Keith slammed his head down on the counter top. Shiro walked over to be behind him. Rubbing his back, "Shhhh. I know. I know its stressful. But I'm right here. I'm always gonna be right here."

[kalmasiope]

FACEBOOK: IT IS DUMBASSES BIRTHDAY TODAY. YEAH LIKE I GIVE A FUCK. GEE FUCKING THANKS FOR EATING MY DATA. OH MY GOD I HATE FACEBOOK SO MUCH. ONLY REASON I AM OBLIGATED TO HAVE THAT BLOODY SPACING-EATING SHIT IN MY PHONE IS BECAUSE MY PARENTS DEMAND I KEEP IN CONTACT WITH MY SIS'. I HATE EVERYBODY ON THERE. GOD. WHY IS EVERYBODY SO STUPID.

WAH WAH NO VALENTINE, OH LET ME HIT ON KAT BECAUSE THEY ARE SINGLE. WHAT IS THIS “ASEXUAL”? TIME TO MOVE ONTO ANOTHER FUCKING SUCKER AND COMPLETELY FORGET KAT BECAUSE YOU KNOW, FRIENDSHIP DOES NOT FUCKING EXIST. GOT TO STICK MY FILTHY HUMAN GENITALS INTO SOMETHING THIS MONTH. WAAAAH SINGLE FOR TWELVE YEARS.

YEAH I CAN FUCKING SEE WHY.

OH. LOOK. HERE IS THAT OBNOXIOUS "BLAH BLAH METAPHYSICAL GOD IS A WOMAN SPACE IS BEAUTIFUL" IDIOT THAT PLAYS GUITAR AND SMOKES WEED. WHOA WHOOOOA YOU ARE SOOOO SMART! I CAN SENSE THE FUCKING INTELLECT JUST RADIATING OFF YOUR NONEXISTENT BRAIN, YOU FUCKING SACK OF BULLSHIT. WERE YOU DROPPED ONTO BOTH YOUR HEAD AND ASS WHEN YOU WERE A BABY? I BET YOU WERE BECAUSE YOU ARE SUCH UGLY FILTH.

WOWWEE, LOOK AT THIS FUNNY COMEDIAN! WOW! YOUR WITTY POSTS REALLY ROCK MY SOCKS OFF! HA! NOT. YOU FUCKING UNHUMOROUS WORTHLESS PIECE OF GOD DAMN HUMAN TRASH. FUCKING DIE IN A FIRE.

WAH OHHHH I AM SO LONELY AND HAVE NO GIRLFRIEND! -FIVE MINUTES LATER- GIRLS ONLY WANT ASSHOLES BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH I AM A NICE GUY.

"JESUS IS COMING :)" -COPYPASTES SOME PALM OR BIBLE VERSE.- BITCH, JESUS WOULD NOT WANT TO BE ANYWHERE NEAR YOU.

OH GOD AND THEN THOSE FUCKING CANCEROUS IGNORANT IMAGES THAT EAT UP MY DATA. THAT FUCKING EMOTE WITH THE TEARS COMING OUT ITS EYES IS THE GROSSES FUCKING THING EVER. I WOULD CRY TOO IF I WERE A LITERAL FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.

AND THEN THOSE... OH MY GOD. WHY ARE REAL LIFE PEOPLE SO DUMB. SHOOT ME NOW. ARE ALL HUMANS LIKE THIS? I DO NOT EVEN KNOW ALL THESE MORONS. THEY ARE JUST PEOPLE MY SIS' KNOWS THAT ADDED ME TO WHICH I AM OBLIGATED TO IN ORDER TO KEEP PEACE. I AM GOING TO GO CRY A RIVER AND THEN DROWN MYSELF IN IT TO ESCAPE HOW STUPID EVERYBODY IS.

SHOULD PROBABLY HIDE MY KEYBOARD FROM MYSELF. BUT I MISS RANTING. YOU HAVE NO IDEA. FUCK ALL YOU HATERS.

[rayinberkeley]

I’ve been Facebook Jailed because of whiny ass trailer trash queens

Yeah, here’s the post that was sooooo horrible that it got me banned for three days:

You may not remember what this was about. I actually had to go back and look it up. And then I remembered. A fucktardian named Dean Paradis posted a picture of what I thought was a pretty fantastic bathroom:

Personally I liked it a great deal. Dean’s hubby-wubby did not. He made a suggestion about it, and I disagreed. Yes, this is about nothing more than the disagreement over interior decorating, and not even about something that actually IS in their home, but merely Dean’s fucking suggestion:

What you are seeing here is the only comment I made in this entire exchange. Which means can you really call it an exchange? Just one. I said nothing else whatsoever in the entire event that you are witnessing, and nothing about what I said was a slight towards them, or their choice of home (hell I don’t know what these whores live in). I sure as hell wasn’t bitching at them. Just disagreeing. Because come on, do you really want this?

Even Mrs. Roper would gag!

Then I go to bed. I had no idea when I woke up, my one comment would spark a gigantic estrogen supernova of bitchiness on their part. When I woke, it was to an entire conversation about me, in which I was blocked from responding in any way:

Apparently I’m of the “California bunch.” And apparently I’m a “bitchy queen.” Apparently I didn’t use the right term for trailer, and this was a capital offense. And it’s not even the entirety of it, for they continued to slander me:

Somehow I, who frequently talk openly about self esteem issues, think I’m God’s gift to... what’s a bear hood anyway? Is it anything like you get from Hot Topic?

Oh, and in the comments to that post, they went even further into slander, telling the world my business:

In no way did I put them down in my one single comment, but they sure as fuck did nothing but that to me here. Shaming my disability, shaming me for taking advantage of an opportunity to go overseas, shaming me for bear runs (what bear runs? I went to Smokeout with a friend). Everything about my life sure as fuck seems up to grabs for this asshole, and his justification for it is that his trailer is paid off. Good for you, Dean.

Oh, and some unfounded slut shaming. I know their type. I probably wouldn’t fuck them, so they’re bitter or something, in these previous “dealings” they’ve had with me that I don’t even know what the fuck they’re talking about. I have no idea who the fuck they are. They seem to hold a grudge about it though, but not enough that they sent me a friend request for some fucking reason. I sure as fuck didn’t send it to them.

And of course, speaking of their grudge-holding, this was a month ago this all happened, and they just reported my post about them? As though they didn’t slander the fuck out of me? I didn’t even use their name! Facebook has a stupid as hell way of doing things.

So that’s what a couple of trailer queens from South Carolina do. They get so fucking offended and defensive about living in a fucking trailer that they sling shit at hallucinated insults. Bitch, I’m from Georgia. I grew up in a trailer. You have no fucking clue what you’re talking about.

Even dumber is their use of Google Translate to find out what Cabron means in Spanish, which is notoriously bad for getting translations horrendously wrong. They’re not the first idiots to go, “HURRRRP!!! YOUR NAME MEANS DUMBASS!” cuz they took two seconds to look it up on the Wikipedia of translation programs. I know Google says that. Google is fucking wrong.

In the days of Facebook’s “real-name” policy and the #MyNameIs protest, when Facebook forced me to change my name because their program determined it wasn’t white enough to be accepted, I searched for something profane in another language, just because I was pissed at how unfair this shit was to drag queens and people of color and American Indians, and so forth. And since I’m the author of Bible Studies from an Asshole (available on Amazon) I thought a word for asshole would be funny. 

I lucked out. As you can see on the cover, I am in devil horns. Cabron actually refers to a male goat in its etymological origin, but it is used today to mean asshole, or fucker, as an insult to thuggish or mean people. In absolutely no way does it mean dumbass. And of course, my point in my book is that Christianity has failed so spectacularly badly that I cannot be nice about it. Plus, goat horns, and I like to fuck. It all just came together really.

But then, I’m not the kind of dumbass to use something as pathetic as Google Translate. Or to get outrageously offended because someone mentioned my trailer.... er...... mobile home. I leave that kind of shit to South Carolina pieces of shit with too much sand in their vagina. Let the tornado take care of them.

For all the talk about good ol’ boys who like to make fun of liberals (like those of us in California) who get offended, you sure do see the worst offense-tantrums from conservatives and southerners. Waaaaaah, there’s not enough Jesus stuff on my Starbucks cup! Waaaah leave my trailer alone, you big meanie!

Such bitchy queens. Get fucked already, you dumbasses.

Cabron out.