#WAAAAAAAAAAHH DON'T LEAVE MEEEEEEEE

[risustravelogue]

Until Your Very Last Breath

Summary:

Alhaitham died in an ambush, leaving you as his widow. P.S. As always, your mental health comes first! 💚

Featuring:

Husband!Alhaitham; Best Friend!Tighnari and Best Friend!Kaveh (brief appearances). No pronouns used, but written with f!reader in mind.

Tone:

Hurt/No Comfort. You have been warned. Heavy angst because Alhaitham dies in this piece. Why do I do this to myself...

Note:

I have no excuse for this. I just wanted to bawl my eyes out, so I wrote this down. Not canonically in the series, but I did borrow some elements from this piece. Enjoy getting hurt! 💚 Additional note: Reader can fight using a bow and has a Vision.

🔗 AO3 | masterlist 🔗

How did it come to this?

You were accompanying Cyno and the matra to investigate some suspicious cult activities in the ruins. You decided to scout ahead, and Alhaitham insisted on coming along with you.

“Two heads are better than one,” he had said. You rolled your eyes. He was being overprotective again. But that made you smile, so you let him follow you.

In hindsight, you should have made him stay behind.

The cult ambushed the two of you, their troops standing between you and the room’s entrance. You took your positions, with Alhaitham slashing through their toughest fighters while you picked their archers off one by one with your arrows and Vision.

You thought you had taken care of every cultist in the room, but then, in your peripheral vision, you saw a shadow behind your husband, a glint of sharp metal in their hand—

“Behind—!” you shouted.

But it was too late. The serrated dagger slid across his throat, red spraying violently onto the sandy stone floor. You nocked, aimed, and let loose, and the assassin fell lifeless to the ground with a soft thud. You rushed to your husband’s side and cradled him in your arms.

“Haitham—”

Blood sputtered onto your clothes as he coughed. “I’m not… going to make it.”

“No. No no no. Stop talking nonsense. Cyno and the matra will arrive soon, and everything will be okay.”

“Love…”

Your voice cracked, tears spilling from your eyes. ”No… stay. Please stay— somebody help…”

“My love… shh. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay!” you sobbed. “Help… someone, please… anyone…”

You felt his bloody hands pull you down into a kiss.

“Be strong… my heart.”

“No…”

“I love you. Only you… Always.”

“Stay…”

He sighed, and you could only watch as the light slowly went out from his eyes.

—

Only your close friends attended his funeral. It’s what he would have wanted, you thought.

As you gave his cold lips one last kiss, the vow he had uttered on your wedding day echoed in your head.

“Until death do us part—no, until the end of time, I will always, always love you, and only you.”

A whisper fell from your lips, along with tears you thought you no more had:

“I’ll love you forever, my heart.”

The next thing you remembered was being a sobbing mess in Cyno and Tighnari’s arms, who were holding you back from throwing yourself into your husband’s funeral pyre.

—

“I’ve overstayed my welcome,” you say to Tighnari with a thin smile on your lips. You squeeze his hands in reassurance. “I’ll be fine.”

Your best friend sighs in resignation. “Alright. But promise me you’ll come back here if you’re feeling unwell.”

You nod in agreement and climb into the carriage, letting it carry you to Sumeru City. After staying at Gandharva Ville for a month, you’re finally going back home.

Kaveh quietly greets you, holding the door open to let you come in whenever you’re ready. You inhale and exhale several times before finally stepping into the house. You thank the blond architect for taking care of the house in your absence.

“I left your bedroom and his desk alone,” he tells you. “I thought you’d like to go through them yourself.”

You give him a thank-you smile and start walking toward your bedroom, but his hand on your shoulder stops you.

“I’m here if you need me,” he says. You notice that his crimson eyes are swollen.

“I’m sure I will,” you reply, giving his hand a squeeze, and leave.

Truly, your bedroom feels too large now that Alhaitham’s gone. You walk toward the bedside table on his side of the bed, where you had put his urn before you left for Gandharva Ville on Tighnari’s insistence.

“I’m home,” you whisper, your fingers trailing the patterns on the cold clay. “Did you miss me?”

A tear falls from your eyes, quickly followed by another, and another, and another until they form small streams on your cheeks.

“Every day, without you by my side when I wake up, I am made aware that you… are no longer with me.”

A sob shakes your body. “Come back… come back to me… please,” you plead, but only silence answers you.

You cry into the pillow—his pillow. You hug it tightly, taking in what remains of his scent, only to find yourself deep in regret afterward because by the time you run out of tears, it has already been replaced by yours.

You decide to visit his desk in the study next. You sift through the books to find his fine handwriting scattered everywhere. Most are mere notes, but some messier ones contain his frustration. You chuckle at the expletives he had written into the whitespaces of some official Akademiya documents.

Fuck you, Azar. Making my life more difficult even now.

Shit. I don’t think this fucking issue will ever get resolved.

Who thought this crap was a good idea?

A sad smile grows on your lips as you find yourself missing him even more. Your hand trails to open the middle drawer of his desk. The various pens and brushes inside are neatly organized. Nothing looks suspicious… except that it feels shallower than it should.

Typical Alhaitham, you think.

You quickly find the mechanism to open the bottom compartment at the very back of the drawer. Inside is a single white envelope, with your name carefully written at the front. Contained within is a letter… and his will. You set the will aside and open the letter. Tears stream down your cheeks again, dropping onto the paper, soaking the words he had left for you:

My heart,

I knew you would find the bottom compartment. The thought of you opening it brings a sad smile to my face. I love you.

I want you to live well after I go, okay? Go travel the world, at least once. The Mora I had saved for you should cover for the expenses of two trips. I love you.

If you find love again in another man, I promise I won’t get mad. I love you.

I’ll always be yours, and you’ll always be mine. This is a fact not even the heavens can dispute. I love you.

I know you’ll miss me. I know it will hurt. In fact, my chest hurts as I write this, because I love you.

But that’s exactly why you need to accept the fact that I’m gone, and not live as if I’ll come back to you in this world. I won’t, my love—as much as I want to be within your arms, as much as I want to envelop you with my warmth again.

I love you. I love you so much. You’re my only one. Always.

I’ll see you again, my precious heart, and on that day, you better prepare to receive my kisses.

Forever yours,

H

P.S. I love you. 愛してる。Aku sayang kamu.

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