#Vs with chainsaw man you can say ''what the fuck does this mean???'' and have actual discussion about the themes messages and implications

[trans-leek-cookie]

Catching up to CSM is terrible because all it does is make me wish JJK was more like it

[hulloitsdani]

Okay so the idea of a Kiran and Grima friendship dynamic is honestly one of my favorites in FEH.

Grima as a character was always intriguing to me, but he only became downright fascinating in retrospect of FE: Echoes. Seeing where he came from made his rather two dimensional villainy in Awakening gain a surprising amount of perspective and depth. This is a creature made purely out of a man’s insane hubris and was cursed to walk this earth for thousands of years as a result. He’s essentially Fire Emblem’s version of Frankenstein’s monster. This gave Awakening’s nature vs nurture narrative a significantly more fascinating base to stand on. Made it a bit more character driven, as you can begin to see why Grima holds the perspective that he does. However, there has yet to be a proper scenario in which we get to sit with him and explore the ideas that promises.

Which is exactly why I love the idea of Grima and Kiran. I do not think their dynamic should be dedicated to redeeming Grima via the power of friendship, as that’s more Awakening and Chrom’s brand. But rather, I think Grima getting summoned to Askr would shift the focus of nature vs nurture away from Robin and onto Grima himself. Robin got the chance to question this via their amnesia and now Grima gets to question this via this second start in a world wildly different from the one he walked for lifetimes. And Kiran acts as the off putting yet well meaning embodiment for what that could possibly mean. They are a weird, pitifully weak creature who has somehow succeeded where the scientist that made him and no doubt countless others after him have failed: They have the capacity to control Grima. This automatically means Grima has no intention to let them live for long, but they hardly have the same goals as those ambitious fools. Outside the demands of every conflict the Order finds itself caught up in, Kiran only uses their power to have interesting conversations with weird company. And when I say “use their power” I mean have tea with malicious dragon deity without loosing their head.

It’s hardly enough to get him to stop him from plotting a murder, as it’s only a matter of time before this goes south in his eyes. But it’s… intriguing to see such a comparably unmotivated individual in a position of such extreme power. The piqued curiosity leads to a the formation of a genuine bond as Mr. Wings of Despair Breath of Ruin realizes, “oh shit, I’ve encountered a being I don’t want immediately dead” and has a major existential crisis about it. It’s adjacent to Power and Nyaako from Chainsaw Man, but instead of a cat is Grima is watching this chaotic tactician earnestly fumble their way through this position thrusted upon them. And despite the light years of difference between the both of them, these two come to an understanding of one another that isn’t quite feasible by anyone else.

Meanwhile cut to the outside looking in perspective and this all looks downright insane. Kiran has befriended Fire Emblem satan. Has tea with him sometimes. It’s chill. Don’t worry about it. They say to Alfonse, who is realizing there is something not quite hinged about his tactician. Anna is crying because how the FUCK are they going to house a dragon the size of a mountain range. Sharena has been making cookies to go with the tea to give to the god of ruin this whole time.

[fictionfixations]

this is the march event

*beep boop beep bop boop beep*

yes, hi, aven?? topaz? jade (...?) (yknow what its kinda crazy we know 3 stonehearts. i mean i dont think we know jade that well but man we have connections.)

can yall fire this dude. hes. genuinely so bad at his job. and gives the ipc a bad name. like seriously

is it legal to just bring mechs in a public area that are clearly very dangerous? he says its for his safety but i say its a threat. like theyre not doing anything but bruh its like he's walking around with some big ass gun out. or a chainsaw. like hello??? (idk if there are people in there but like. HELLO?? if they're bodyguards they dont need to be RIGHT THERE. because where were they before then??)

also oh my god

he doesnt want to look bad in front of clients. but that means his 'clients' are xianzhou people right?

and he just insulted xianzhou swordplay

also you literally got told to not do anything because street fighting is illegal, BY the. the the people in CHARGE OF the lAW

you ACKNOWLEDGE that there is a CLOUD KNIGHT right THERE

you were SPECIFICALLY WARNED

and

that doesnt sound very friendly does it

i swear theres genuinely like a law where youre not allowed to threaten people or something because it could be taken as.. something something???? ??? maybe im tripping and it was actually in regards to death threats but like ... d u d e why make excuses youre making urself sound so bad

are you dumb

im. genuinely so frustrated at thsi guy. i didnt think id still hate him BUT I DO oh my god. like. AT LEAST dont be an asshole where people who have the authority TO ARREST YOU ARE THERE like CMON???? HELLO??? at least make an attempt to pretend to be NOT THAT

let me get this straight

its ONE PERSON vs who knows how many mechs

i dont think thats fair. not to mention those mechs have probably been improved upon time and time again for years, meanwhile march will have only been improving for 15 days

also i have no fucking idea if there are people inside those mechs. b ut if there are. THEN THERE SHOULD ONLY BE ONE MECH FIGHTING HER. or its not fair. at all. not to mention its probably even more difficult because theres fuckin metal. armor. shit.

LMFAOOO HES NOT OVER IT. dude just let it go i feel embarrassed for you

PREACH

stop digging yourself into a deeper hole im begging you

no offense to the voice actor but genuinely its characters like these that i actually cant listen to their voice because i just. hate them. like the character NOT the va. because they're saying hurtful insulting things and im just like. if i want to actually read whats going on instead of skipping through it (as a person who has done it before and then stopped to read through the log) i genuinely have to mute because the way it infuriates me 😭 (the other time was like i think possessed fu xuan ? cant remember if that one was being super annoying or if i was just having a bad day and couldnt deal with it.)

anyway id like to think im partway through the wardance story so far but i have no idea. anyway i just realized i can do march event now. and also this is BEFORE wardance

and at the story im at like the day before the wardance so uhhh

i should be doing it cause its in order. also im procrastinating because im NOT ready to see everything that happened in the trailer because holy shit that was insane

ALSO because cutscenes keep lagging for me so its kinda irritating. theres videos already of just the cutscenes so im watching them from there because i genuinely cant tell wtf is happening since it freezes in game. which sucks cause i love watching cutscenes sfhdsuifhsf

[devilsskettle]

oh man i have a Lot of thoughts about the autopsy of jane doe, both positive and critical For Sure, i'd be SO excited to see your analysis of it! definitely keeping an eye out for that 👀

thanks! i'm working on something article-like to talk about the film and i don't know what i want to do with it yet lol but if i don't post it on here i'll definitely link it. it's mainly a discussion of gender in possession/occult films in the same way that carol clover describes in men, women, and chainsaws - that there are dual plot lines in occult films, usually gendered masculine and feminine respectively, where the "main" feminine plot (the actual possession) is actually a way to explore the "real" masculine plot (the emotional conflict of the "man in crisis" protagonist). typically the man in crisis is too masculine, or "closed" emotionally, where the woman is too "open," which is why she acts as the vehicle for the supernatural occurrence as well as the core emotions of the film. the man has to learn how to become more open (though if he becomes too open, like father karras in the exorcist, he has to die by the end - he has to find a happy medium, where he doesn't actually transgress gender expectations too much. clover calls this state the "new masculine," and we might apply the term "toxic masculinity" to the "closed" emotional state). part of the "opening up" feature of the story is that it allows men to be highly emotionally expressive in situations where they otherwise might not be allowed to, which is cathartic for the assumed primary audience of these films (young men). another feature of the genre is white science vs black magic (once you exhaust the scientific "rational" explanations, you have to accept that something magic is happening). the autopsy of jane doe does this even more than the films she discusses when she published the book in 1992 (the exorcist, poltergeist, christine, etc) because the supernaturally influenced young woman who becomes this kind of vehicle is more of an object than a character. she doesn't have a single line of dialogue or even blink for the entire runtime of the movie. the camerawork often pans to her as if to show her reactions to the events of the movie, which seems kind of pointless because it's the same reaction the whole time (none) but it allows the viewer to project anything they want onto her - from personal suffering to cunning and spite. 

compare again to the exorcist: is the story actually about regan mcneil? no. but do we care about her? sure (clover says no, but i think we at least feel for her situation lol). and do we get an idea of what she's like as a person? yes. even though her pain and her body are used narratively as a framework for karras' emotional/religious crisis, we at least see her as a person. both she and her mother are expendable to the "real" plot but they're very active in their roles in the "main" plot - our "jane doe" isn't afforded even that level of agency or identity. so. is that inherently sexist? well, no - if there were other women in the film who were part of the "real" plot, i would say that the presence of women with agency and identity demonstrate enough regard for the personhood of women to make the gender of the subject of the autopsy irrelevant. but there are none. of the three important women in the film, we have 1) an almost corpse, 2) an absent (dead) mother, and 3) a one dimensional girlfriend who is killed off for a man's character development/cathartic expression of emotions. all three are just platforms for the men in crisis of this narrative. 

and, to my surprise, much of the reception to the film is to embrace it as a feminist story because the witch is misconstrued as a badass, powerful, Strong Female Character girl boss type for getting revenge on the men who wronged her, with absolutely no consideration given to what the movie actually ends up saying about women. and the director has said that he embraces this interpretation, but never intended it. so like. of course you're going to embrace the interpretation that gives you critical acclaim and the moral high ground. but it's so fucking clear that it was never his intention to say anything about feminism, or women in general, or gender at all. so i find it very frustrating that people read the film that way because it's just. objectively wrong.

there's also things i want to say about this idea that clover talks about in a different chapter of the book when she discusses the country/city divide in a lot of horror (especially rape-revenge films) in which the writer intends the audience to identify with the city characters and be against the country characters (think of, like, house of 1000 corpses - there's pretty explicit socioeconomic regional tension between the evil country residents and the travelers from the city) but first, they have to address the real harm that the City (as a whole) has inflicted upon the Country (usually in the forms of environmental and economic destruction) so in order to justify the antagonization the country people are characterized by, their "retaliation" for these wrongs has to be so extreme and misdirected that we identify with the city people by default (if country men feel victimized by the City and react by attacking a city woman who isn't complicit in the crimes of the City in any of the violent, heinous ways horror movies employ, of course we won't sympathize with them). why am i bringing this up? well, clover says this idea is actually borrowed from the western genre, where native americans are the Villains even as white settlers commit genocide - so they characterize them as extremely savage and violent in order to justify violence against them (in fiction and in real life). the idea is to address the suffering of the Other and delegitimize it through extreme negative characterization (often, with both the people from the country and native americans, through negative stereotyping as well as their actions). so i think that shows how this idea is transferred between different genres and whatever group of people the writers want the viewers to be against, and in this movie it’s happening on the axis of gender instead of race, region, or class. obviously the victims of the salem witch trials suffered extreme injustice and physical violence (especially in the film as victim of the ritual the body clearly underwent) BUT by retaliating for the wrongs done to her, apparently (according to the main characters) at random, she's characterized as monstrous and dangerous and spiteful. her revenge is unjustified because it’s not targeted at the people who actually committed violence against her. they say that the ritual created the very thing it was trying to destroy - i.e. an evil witch. she becomes the thing we're supposed to be afraid of, not someone we’re supposed to sympathize with. she’s othered by this framework, not supported by it, so even if she’s afforded some power through her posthumous magical abilities, we the viewer are not supposed to root for her. if the viewer does sympathize with her, it’s in spite of the writing, not because of it. the main characters who we are intended to identify with feel only shallow sympathy for her, if any - even when they realize they’ve been cutting open a living person, they express shock and revulsion, but not regret. in fact, they go back and scalp her and take out her brain. after realizing that she’s alive! we’re intended to see this as an acceptable retaliation against the witch, not an act of extreme cruelty or at the very least a stupid idea lol. 

(also - i hate how much of a buzzword salem is in movies like this lol, nothing about her injuries or the story they “read” on her is even remotely similar to what happened in salem, except for the time period. i know they don’t explicitly say oh yeah, she was definitely from salem, but her injuries really aren’t characteristic of american executions of witches at all so i wish they hadn’t muddied the water by trying to point to an actual historical event. especially since i think the connotation of “witch” and the victims of witch trials has taken on a modern projection of feminism that doesn’t really make sense under any scrutiny. anyway)

not to mention the ending: what was the writer intending the audience to get from the ending? that the cycle of violence continues, and the witch’s revenge will move on and repeat the same violence in the next place, wherever she ends up. we’re supposed to feel bad for whoever her next victims will be. but what about her? i think the movie figures her maybe as triumphant, but she’s going to keep being passed around from morgue to morgue, and she’s going to be vivisected again and again, with no way to communicate her pain or her story. the framework of the story doesn’t allow for this ending to be tragic for her, though - clearly the tragedy lies with the father and son, finally having opened up to one another, unfortunately too late, and dying early, unjust deaths at the hands of this unknowable malignant entity. it doesn’t do justice to her (or the girlfriend, who seems to be nothing but collateral damage in all of this - in the ending sequence, when the police finds the carnage, it only shows them finding the bodies of the men. the girlfriend is as irrelevant to the conclusion as she is to the rest of the plot). 

but does this mean the autopsy of jane doe is a “bad” movie? i guess it depends on your perspective. ultimately, it’s one of those questions that i find myself asking when faced with certain kinds of stories that inevitably crop up often in our media: how much can we excuse a story for upholding regressive social norms (even unintentionally) before we have to discount the whole work? i don’t think the autopsy of jane doe warrants complete rejection for being “problematic” but i think the critical acclaim based on the idea that it’s a feminist film should be rejected. i still consider it a very interesting concept with strong acting and a lot of visual appeal, and it’s a very good piece of atmospheric horror. it’s does get a bit boring at certain points, but the core of the film is solid. it’s also not trying to be sexist, arguably it’s not overtly sexist at all, it’s just very very androcentric at the expense of its female characters, and i’m genuinely shocked that anyone would call it feminist. so sure, let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water, but let’s also be critical about how it’s using women as the stage for men’s emotional conflict 

also re: my description of this little project as “a film isn’t feminist just because there’s a woman’s name in the title” - i actually don’t want to skim over the fact that “jane doe” isn’t a real name. of the three women in the film, only one has a real name; the other two are referred to by names given to them by men. i’ll conclude on this note because i want to emphasize the lack of even very basic ways of recognizing individual identity afforded to women in this film. so yeah! the end! thanks for your consideration if you read this far! 

[theelliottsmiths]

Could you please liveblog the making of Amerika?

Yes

I'm anticipating complaining about the penis zip guy already

Did you know that for a long time as a child I thought the English version was the real version? Cause I did

The bit where they're putting the paint on their faces is weirdly cute even though Richard looks kind of silly

Flake grow out your long hair pleaseee just like. A cute little bob again. I would listen to him talk for hours honestly I like the way he pronounced the words and his tone language doesn't matter

You can always tell by how he holds his face vs his eyes when he's joking "that's what this song is for: to sneak ourselves into their hearts" i feel like they have done that pretty well. For some reason it seems like most of the American fans are from the Midwest but maybe that's just coincidence

Rammstein saying they have no message except "Fleisch, Fleisch" or "ja" or "ich will" I forgot this entire thing is ceaseless dunking and sarcasm

i like the sounds he makes like the. There's a name for them what is it. The noises you make between words for emphasis etc? Those

"America was so fucking annoying we felt the need to call them out on it"

Oli talks a little like he's trying not to yawn. Them saying the war was on while they were in the practice room is strange considering how long the various wars had been going on just from like a born in the late 90s living in 2020 perspective

Ah yes you really were. So subtle. It's very. Clever many double meanings

"sehr gut, Till". :).

The sehnsucht thing tickles me so much he starts off by saying yes it's better to leave things up for interpretation and naturally my brain assumes he means the well thought out probably not true but poetic stuff, right, and then he goes on to say Americans thought sehnsucht was chainsaw and I cannot

The knife also is good.

In a way Amerika as a video is a precursor Ausländer and I like seeing how it compares because its

AS I WAS TYPING THAT OLI SAID THE WORD AUSLÄNDER

Oli does not seem happy to have his words captured At All

I wonder how many people did the Deutschland thing and went straight to saying it's racist without thinking through the reasons behind what they were doing (at least in part criticising American racism) I'm pretty sure l've seen someone complain about it somewhere like it was serious, I think on Reddit around the time the Ausländer Making of came out? Which is why I bring it up

"we wanted to make it clear that it wasn't a love song so these lyrics are perfect" Till: literally just saying this is not a love song

I would like to see them perform a cheer in proper cheerleader costumes instead of the uncomfy stickman Deutschland dance that makes me cringe my skeleton right out of my skin in 2021 please

The juxtaposition of Richards pro-america comments and flakes sarky comments about how nice the urinals are is so reminiscent of that post that's like America where freedom is the choice between thirty kinds of bread that you can't afford to buy

I was going to make a Regan's grave joke but I do prefer to keep that one for Margaret Thatchers grave

I like schneiders hair at this length

Schneiders capacity to oscillate so wildly between being a vacant dumbass and saying intelligent and thought out things is ceaselessly amazing

Saying it's hard because "it's like a punk concert for them" Jörn my guy my dude almost all of them were in punk bands I just checked and this was 2004 Feeling b only broke up in the 90s do you literally just mean Oli (I do not remember if there was any punk going on in the Inchtabokatables) or

Schneider is making it look so easy was he truly just so -_- about feeling b that he can be completely calm in the face drumming that fast? Cause we know usually his fast drumming involves screaming faces and or actual screaming I swear he does and it's just not hearable under the music sidenote he sings along sometimes and if he does it out loud I NEED to hear it

Richard when it's slowed down looks uh. Looks like he's eh. Hm. Is that the real reason people are so into guitarists?

I don't know which part of the sentence Glasses Paul says in that louder voice (schossen? Is he saying that/shot?) but I do like it if I knew more German I would take on way more Rammstein things as echoes you have no idea how much time I spend saying es reicht wenn hier so 'nen fleischfarbenen Draht lang legst which If that's wrong it's exactly what I was told he said so please correct it but it's not my fault unless you consider it my fault for not knowing enough German in which case it is my fault

But anyway yes hes Talking like its a museum tour and in his little glasses and shirt and everything he is totally playing the part of unhinged historian which is the best kind of historian honestly if you're going to be academic in nature you might as well be fucking mental

I want to know what vibes his speech gives off in German because to me he in English and German seems very theatrical in the way he talks? Including how much he rolls his rs it's very... Showy? But maybe not actually?

I forget how many videos Jörn has shot with them honestly

What do you do with this ash sand once your finished with? Some of them had kids I'd have taken it home and pretended it was real moon dust or something

They really go for it when they decide to do something like this and it really is admirable. It's rare they'll half-ass something and even when if feels like their director has they don't themselves

Richard looks very handsome in his space suit before they hang him up

Pretti

He looks like a marionette now nevermind

THIS FUCKER

I just. Do. Not. Enjoy this man I'm sorry to you and the mullet man I'm sure he's great but for fucks SAKE man he

TILL LITERALLY SAYS DONALD SUTHERLAND POINTS TO HIS DICK AND MIMES ZIPPING YOU KNOW WHAT HE'S FUCKING TALKING ABOUT SO WHY DO YOU LOOK SO CONFUSED

YOU TOLD HIM THE STORY YOU KNOW WHY HES SAYING DONALD SUTHERLAND AND POINTING TO HIS PENIS WHY ARE YOU SO GORMLESS

Look. I have nothing against Americans individually B is American Nick is American i love them dearly i know also other Americans a lot of you guys are Americans and I love you lots but here's the thing why are Americans like this

If it's not in English the brain turns off even if the context is obvious it's like when English people see Welsh/English signs and are so anti-welsh that they don't acknowledge that they're also in English and get angry that they don't know where they are

The sweetest little face though!

Softest boy ever besides Rosenrot Till

Till gets bored of the guy and decides to tell a story about a dick it's very him

This is the hair I think of when I think of Till this is the quintessential till haircut no?

God I do dislike this man

Tills voice is so so high here I adore him so completely it's so soft and high and the song is Not

If you're trying to learn how to say L sounds like a German I feel like richard is the easiest one to copy? Unless they're all weirdos and no other German says L sounds like that. Him and flake.

Flakes smile is more cheerful than Paul's there I said it

I know it's not foreshadowing but Jörn foreshadowing Ausländer

Richard talking about America's tendancy to exaggerate is really interesting since that's something the community as a whole seems to agree is a personality trait of his. They didn't fight, they almost broke up. He hates touring and yet he loves touring. Is that why he likes it there or is living there why he's like that?

Can you casually buy ten litres of orange juice? The boys are busy they cannot confirm and Google does not understand what I'm asking

Yeah Richard and Till, get closer

Knife

Schneiders handprint

I forgot about "there was a rumour in the DDR that America didn't exist" what is it with Germany and conspiracies about places not existing I'm there are tears in my eyes I genuinely I never watch this one flake is so fucking funny

Till talking pictures of the others

It's better than I give it credit for in my memory is there anything they've made that is in not a single way entertaining? I feel like no

Thank you for asking for this one it was every fun actually

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 19

it’s 2021 now!! time for more transformers 

we start off w/a flashback showing tyrest retrieving ultra magnus’s body from the ship - and we get a look at magnus’s spark, which is the green color of a 0.1%er [eyes emoji]

tyrest punching magnus..... grrrrr leave my dad alone bastard man

‘the divided self’ what a good title 

rodimus is like listen man this is a lot for my poor thot brain to take in

in flashback land, we see tyrest immediately launch into a crazy person spiel about how he can and will edit the law as he sees fit to conform to the situation, because that doesn't seem like a blatant abuse of power or a huge conflict of interest or anything 

oooh the screen in the corner that says ‘thought warfare,’ I see that

oof, poor magnus. its gotta be rough to hear your boss rant about how bad at your job you are....especially bc this is right after overlord called magnus a joke and nearly killed him

its especially brutal bc as magnus says, his job is his life 

augh, I love the panel where the armor is falling off around minimus, and then the one where he’s holding the ultra magnus head...poetic 

its fascinating that there was an ‘original’ magnus who was an actual guy, and then tyrest chose to make him into this legacy symbol - I'm assuming the OG magnus had no say in this, and probably didn't even know that he was gonna become this lawman legacy figure

I do wanna know though - obviously everyone thought that ultra magnus was one dude, but how did the different guys wearing the armor deal w/that? like, did minimus have people coming up to him like ‘hey ultra magnus old buddy! remember when we fought those guys in that one place? good times!’ like, do they have to study up on the lives of the past armor wearers to prepare for the role of ultra magnus?

augh poor minimus, of course he’s been wondering about what happened with overlord after he was KO’d

oof, drift...I feel like minimus looks surprised and a little skeptical at the idea that drift was the one behind the entire overlord thing - which is interesting bc as we saw at the beginning of the story, he doesn't exactly trust drift, but it’s still pretty far-fetched that one person orchestrated the entire thing

tailgate :(

the concept of a load-bearer is SUPER cool, I love it so much

it also puts a much-needed limit on things - as in, there IS a limit to how much weight/mass a normal cybertronian frame can carry, which is why you don't see everybody upgrading to be Massive - bc they actually CANT

oof, the worst part is that tyrest is RIGHT, minimus essentially DID have a nervous breakdown after the war ended bc of the rigid way he views the world

mental health support is clearly in shambles for cybertronians, yikes. they literally have 1 therapist for their entire race, and he’s not even licensed anymore due to hipaa violations. what a mess

the ‘attention deflectors’ thing is so cool and clever and also a great explanation as to why ratchet or anyone else never said ‘hey wait a minute, you're actually a much smaller dude in a trench coat’ 

I love tailgate knowing all the stuff about the autobot code bc of magnus...my BOY

and THATS why minimus was asking about skids specifically earlier!

oh minimus, please don't put so much stock in tyrest being stable and resonable...

aaaand there's skids and swerve! brainstorm says it best - ‘because something unexpected hasn't happened for at least nine seconds.’ lmao ily brainstorm 

finally checking in w/whirl and cyclonus - god I love that. whirl asking cyclonus how many cons he killed and cyc is like psh I wasn't keeping count....................ok it was six

hhhhh cyclonus IS looking for a cure for tailgate, even though he told tg that there wasn’t anything to hope for....excuse me as I go be emo 

and now we flash over to the unethical medical conduct hell zone, where pharma is being weird and horny and ratchet is appropriately horrified 

I seriously love how unhinged pharma looks, the art & colors do such a good job conveying his feral energy 

ratchet has some massive dick energy for taunting pharma when he’s currently just a head and pharma has dual chainsaws for hands 

ugh, I love whirls speech about anger...and I feel like he really does see cyclonus as a peer, despite cyclonus wanting to kill him, which is why he tells cyclonus all of this 

I fuckgin love that cyclonus’s reaction to very suddenly getting stabbed thru the abdomen is to just glance down at the sword, looking mildly inconvenienced 

back over to ratchet - and at first its like oh wow I can’t believe pharma was stupid enough to let ratchet goad him into this contest....but then you see first aid and ambulon and its like UH OH this is gonna be BAD

the idea that getting sliced in half is no big deal for a cybertronian is wild

‘you're gonna let doctor djd cut us in half?’ yeahhhh that's an appropriate reaction, yikes

FUCKING LENGTHWAYS GOD

pharma you piece of shit

poor ambulon :( :( :( that's fucking brutal. amazing panel but....jesus

and like, to further my point from last issue’s liveblog - the fact that this very gore-y panel is okay, but swearing isn't...that's really funny honestly. I guess robo-gore is acceptable, while I'm guessing regular ole run of the mill human gore wouldn't be

then back to cyclonus, who is still looking only vaguely put out by the sword stuck right thru him

and then cyclonus just pulls it right out, which is a very bad idea for humans but probably not as big of a deal for big near-immortal alien robots

circle of light stuck in capitalistic urban hellscape cubicals 

poor skids, being asked to stand trial while having no idea what his crime is due to Big Amnesia 

OH SHITTTT I totally forgot that getaway shows up here

that is super clever though, with chromedome confusing the name ‘getaway’ with the concept ‘needing to escape’

cant believe tyrest is really dumb enough to tell minimus all his evil plans

BUT that means its time for some very important forged vs constructed cold lore

jro spelling ‘program’ as ‘programme’ made me remember when he said that he considers everyone on the lost light to be british, which is perhaps the least valid thing he’s ever said vhbghjsdbfjkhasbjk

the idea that they used the matrix - which is portrayed as kind of a holy object - in reproductive experiments is really interesting

AUGHHHHH this is all so good and interesting...im really fascinated w/this particular brand of like, alien robot racism/constructism/whatever you wanna call it - I feel like it does such a good job as a plot device, where many other ‘fantasy racism’ concepts from other franchises fail, bc there's not really a ‘human metaphor’ being used here (as far as I know/can tell) - as in, this isn't a thinly veiled metaphor for something that happened/could happen in human history

in fact, this type of bigotry (or w/e you wanna call it) isn't something that is even really possible in humans - I guess if there was a stigma against being born via ivf or something...? but there isn't, so there's no obvious real-world equivalent, which I take as a sign of good writing and worldbuilding - it makes the cybertronians feel more Real, bc of course they would have their own types of bigotry based off of completely different things than humans 

additionally - and this is crucial - tyrest is wrong: there’s no like, inherent moral corruption in cold constructed bots. there's no difference at all, other than method of construction. fantasy racism plotlines often flounder here, with the oppressors having a ‘valid reason’ for oppressing the oppressed, but tyrest is just operated on religious zealot bs and some biased science

like, dude, did you ever think that maybe there are other reasons why your trials only condemned cold constructed bots? like, maybe the trial itself was biased? or societal conditions were to blame? correlation is not causation, my dude, especially when the conclusion is ‘cold constructed bots are inherently SINNERS’ lmao 

like, tyrest rlly said ‘FUCK separation of church and state,’ huh

anyways I just think the whole cold construction vs forged thing is really interesting and well-done, and serves as a good precursor to the more fleshed-out functionism stuff we see later 

so tyrest is clearly off his rockers w/the whole drilling thing - dude, you accidentally gave yourself a lobotomy, okay - but I find it kinda funny that he’s right about a lot of that stuff he said at the end, about primus and the guiding hand and stuff being real 

cyclonus saying ‘tailgate and the others’...I see you, man, I see you

also cyclonus looks fine now??? didn't he just get stabbed??? 

ah, tyrest sprinkling a little light genocide onto his plan to find salvation. nice, dude!

MINIMUS NOOOOOOOOO

‘fully deserved’ SHUT UP BIIIIITCH

poor minimus is taking a lot of Ls this arc, geez

oof, great issue! again, as usual....I loved the lore we got this issue, its so interesting...and some good character stuff too. I love minimus, I feel like he’s gonna be my fav this readthru; my first read my fav was brainstorm, second readthru was whirl, and I feel like its minimus/magnus this time. I just love his character arc...

hype af for more B) 

[bapydemonprincess]

Can you tell us more about reaper ambrose? (I am sorry if the question isn't specific I am bad with asking questions)

AWW YOU!! QwQ Thank you so much for asking! 💖💖💖💖 I love my poor tragic boy!!!

TRIGGER WARNING: Descriptions of a character committing suicide.

I got very very curious early on about Ambrose getting so desperate to get supernatural powers he’d try becoming a reaper. I held off for a long time due to my focus being on I guess.. “canon Ambrose” getting a demon of his own as a boyfriend eventually! And I do love love LOVE those two SO much!! 🖤🖤🖤 But my mind still kept wandering back to this concept, and I just didn’t know HOW it would happen... I can’t remember when or what triggered the idea, but mainly I knew the biggest issue Ambrose had to prevent him from trying THIS out was his mother being capable of uncovering what the fuck he was doing the second he’d dare anything... So he’d need something to keep Sebastian from REACHING him.

Once he was full on in the mindset, and determined to get this done, Ambrose came across a nearby town... where a very old church was. Every day he’d come around, hovering, seeing the times it was in service, seeing how many went to it, and when they all left...

Finally, in a very quiet part of the night, sometime past 3, Ambrose slipped into that church himself, along with what he knew would be the best way. Fast, if done right. And Ambrose had certainly studied for a while on how to do everything right. 

He even set some wards down too around the area. Much less obvious than the church itself such a salt, and sage and thyme plants. As well as a few drawn runes he knew to be useful and real, from some tomes he’d been given by his dear aunt Hannah.

He then set up a chair, and started tackling the rope he would be using.

He knew there were many possibilities of this failing, as he assumed such tactics always had a 50% chance of going wrong, at least. But... he had to try. This was his only chance.

As he tightened the rope firmly around his neck, Ambrose took his last deep breaths, before stepping off the chair and letting gravity do its job.

It indeed worked fast. Faster than even he would expect from such a tactic. But as he lost the ability to properly breathe, felt everything go black, and nothingness embrace him just like when one suddenly falls asleep, his last thought was likely a muddy brief comment like “finally.”

Of course, this lead to a strange scene the next morning, of a man in a black suit pacing and hovering around the church, looking increasingly disgruntled. No one had ever seen this man around here before...

The priest came out, to address him.

“May I help you sir?”

“Yes, I know this may seem out of the blue, but please.. check your attic.” The man seemed to stand tense and yet vibrating with some held back emotion, deep chocolate eyes looking watery as well. His chest rose and fell frantically.

The priest, of course, stood there a few seconds, confused. But having a feeling deep down that this was not a matter to be taken lightly.

“Alright, I’ll go see. Please wait here.” The man responded finally, hand held up, as if instinctively trying to sooth though he had no idea why. Not yet.

Within the next half hour, the small town old church became a very riotous location, as a young man was found, having hung himself in the church attic, and surrounded for some reason by salt and plants. The body was brought down, and the people inside went into an uproar, but the priest did not stop to put the poor young man’s body somewhere inside, he dutifully and almost mechanically walked back out, coming back out to the man in the black suit, who automatically erupted with sobs and shot forward to take up the boy’s body.

The priest then noticed another new person nearby. A man who distinctly looked Eastern Indian, and clearly had a connection with the other man. He rushed forward as well, to embrace the other, tears also already streaming down his face.

Despite their emotional state, the taller man looked to the priest, and nodded gratefully. “Thank you,” he choked out, “thank you for finding him.”

The priest then automatically offered them help in getting him to a hospital, but they denied, trying to get away from the scene as fast as possible. The priest was left with many confused, concerned and hysterical church goers, and could only stand there, briefly pray that the couple got through their grief safely, and tried to go back to his audience to calm everyone.

Over the next weeks the Michaelis family was quite hysterical, specifically Sebastian and Aarushi themselves, becoming unstable and trying to find some way to get Ambrose back. Sebastian, of course, being so stubborn and well.. block headed that he tried going to the reaper realm himself.

Of course this lead to Miss Grelle Sutcliff rescuing his dumb ass from getting skewered by death scythes.

But the bleak madness didn’t end there. Sebastian resorted to requesting Hannah, the powerful matriarch demoness and Grelle herself to doing whatever they could to get in contact with Ambrose, to find SOME way, even if he was now permanently a reaper, to get him back home.

Hannah... refused. She tried calmly explaining to Sebastian that it was out of everyone’s hands, including hers. If Ambrose chose this, then it was up to him on what he did next. He was a full grown adult now technically after all.

And as much as Grelle did seem level headed too about this, deep down she was in fact rather upset, and that feeling came out over the next few days as the reaper went to work herself and really got to see how things were on that side.

Ambrose was being handled like any other new recruit. At least it seemed like it. However, as many many reapers now knew of the famous demon from England Sebastian Michaelis, and somehow word had gotten out at some point that this was his son, the level of normalcy handling this particular new recruit was quickly lowered to vague stink eyes and thin lips, others keeping their distance as if this young man would lash out.

And of course, the older reapers like Mr. Spears were not really helping, considering he certainly had no soft spot for that demon nor any offspring of his.

Eventually, with Ronald Knox’s help, Grelle managed to get a moment alone with the familiar gloomy boy.

They had never been as close as Ambrose had been to Grelle’s wife; “Aunt Hannah”. But as Ambrose grew up, his maturity showed as he had learned to show her respect, seeming to.. understand where she came from with her own mental issues and suffering. Not to mention on occasion the two had gotten into fun little battles. Chainsaw vs rapier. It helped the youth get out the extra bit of aggression and anger he’d had no where else to put.

But this little reunion only ended up being a shouting match, as well as almost getting a bit too physical as Grelle found herself grabbing the boy by his crisp new white shirt lapels and asking him basically if he knew “how much he’d just screwed himself over.” And also “how dare he do this to his family, his older sibling precious Aarushi, his poor sweet dad Agni, and his long suffering mother Sebastian!”

This only ended with Ambrose locking up, face going neutral, newly emerald eyes going dull.

He wouldn’t take this, even if it was from his “Aunt”.

....

Time goes by. I really am not sure what kind of scythe to give Ambrose eventually, I feel that will be like the LAST thing I figure out as its one of the most difficult orz;;; As well as, on a lesser scale, his glasses. But I assume they’d just be basic black rectangle ones. A bit on the thin side.

And then eventually he gets picked on for his long-- and now getting messy from not being taken care of --white hair. Some are horrible insults, some warnings that are pretty valid about going out and reaping souls and making sure his hair isn’t in the way.

Eventually Ambrose resigns to wearing it up in a basic hair band. Nothing really special. He just.. doesn’t care.

He hasn’t been getting sleep. Which reapers apparently still need, and yet some tell him its pretty normal. Eventually he’ll learn to adapt. But for now, there are dark bags under his eyes...seeming permanently situated.

Finally, after what seems like a full year of this reaper business, Ambrose has another visitor.

His mind whirs with who. A human he knows like his dad somehow coming over? HE BETTER NOT BE A REAPER TOO. Or... or mum... No, he knows mum already tried. He KNOWS mum would fail every time, either by getting skewered by scythes or dragged away by someone who cares about the demon actually living.

It turns out to be Hannah.

And Ambrose... doesn’t know what to think. The first possible thing is.. is... HOW?? But then he remembers: VERY POWERFUL OLD MATRIARCH DEMON, so maybe it isn’t so strange for certain highly ranked demons to contact grim reapers???

But now the familiar voice of his aunt his speaking, addressing him in that quiet, deep voice he hasn’t heard in Gods know how long...

And the surge of emotional turmoil finally rears its ugly head, after so long being docile. He wants to break down sobbing. But there is a part of him fighting frantically to keep a serious, empty face on.

But then he sees. He finally notices...

Hannah Annafellows is crying.

Tears stream down her dark skin while she still smiles welcomingly to him. But her lips are trembling, and now he notices her hands in front of her, clasped together, are shaking as well. She is still in control, but also letting her sorrow and happiness show.

"I didn't think it was as terrible as Grelle made it out to be, and yet..." She chokes out, and then bites back from saying any more for a moment.

Ambrose wonders if.. she means the situation in general.. or his appearance, or...

“You.. You are so burdened with sadness. So much heavy sadness it covers you like a casing. And you are clearly torn up. And... and... oh, my little corvus...” She gets out, and her head slowly shakes a bit.

And now Ambrose is shattering. Why.. why does she have to explain? Why does she have to--

“You are trying...even now.. to hold on. I know this. But... you feel... deep down as if you’ve made a horrible mistake.”

Hannah’s voice went rapidly to a whisper at this. A fast, frantic whisper. As if she only had so much time now to get this out.

“And indeed, it is something irreversible, Ambrose. No power on Earth, nor any other realm can truly reverse death. Many have tried. For millions of years many have tried to. And keep trying to. I know this.”

Ambrose’s mouth started to part, but his aunt continued.

“But it was not a mistake you have made, Ambrose.... It will never be a mistake.”

The boy’s eyes widened, as Hannah shook her head again, and still smiled.

“It was simply an action you felt you needed to take at the time.... That is all. It was human nature. It always has been. And never a mistake. Not by someone like you, little one. Never someone like--”

“S-STOP IT! STOP IT HANNAH!” The boy suddenly screams. Then, quieter, with a cracked tone. “Stop... please.. stop.”

And now he’s just standing there, wiping tears and snot from his face after taking off his glasses, on the back of his jacket sleeve.

Hannah quietly steps closer then. Closer, and closer, as the boy hunches in...

And finally encircles him in her arms.

Hannah continues weeping too. They both do. While she practically tries to hold him as close as she can, without full on scooping him up like a babe once more. She rocks though. Rocking them both in place while she speaks soothing things now in demon. Her voice slower, and calmer. And her tone gentle and musical with the language of Hell that Ambrose knows himself so well...

He grew up with this. Many times he had to be soothed by songs and gentle words. Not only by Hannah, but...

Another sob wracks the boy.

He misses Mum. He misses mum. He can’t see mum. He CAN’T. But he misses mum...

He’s mumbling this outloud, brokenly.

....

Eventually things do calm. Eventually they can sit and talk lightly a bit.

And eventually Hannah also decided to grab a brush from thin air and brush the boy’s unruly long hair....

It’s a bit out of the blue... but it is another soothing act.

And when Hannah seems satisfied, instead of letting the boy return the simple hair band to it, she produces a pure black ribbon from thin air, and ties up his hair in that. 

I got the idea for that with this picrew letting me put Ambrose’s hair in a ponytail with a black bow.

.........

Sooooo that’s mostly all I have for now on Reaper Ambrose!!! I.. feel bad about all the angst, I really do, but I love exploring this different take all the same! I hope you liked it too, dear!! 🖤🖤🖤 Thank you again for the ask!!! >w<

[popculturebuffet]

Comics Corner: Child’s Play #1 “Night of the Living Doll”

S

Happy days before Halloween everybody. While I have an X-tra Spooky treat planned for the day itself, I thought i’d start branching out from X-Men Comics (though that will be my primary focus), with a comic i’ve been dying to read since I found out it existed: The Child’s Play mini series from innovation comic, one of only two series and 10 comics overall starring your faviorite murder doll and mine: Charles “Chucky” Lee Ray. Also contains a slasher off to see who would win between Chucky and some classsic killers because the comic put the idea in my brain. Wanna Play? Then join me after the cut. 

WARNING: This review contains scenes of Gore. While I did try to cut it down being a horror comic about a slasher villain, this was inevitable, Discretion is advised. 

Child’s Play is a horror franchise I absoltuley love. While i’ve procastinated on seeing the DTV sequels, not that I think their bad i’m just a forgetful mess sometimes, and Seed, because no amount of Jennifer Tilly or intresting gender identity issue stuff will compensate for me having to watch Chucky masturbate, I have followed the series for years, afraid to watch it because I wasn’t a huge horror fan at the time and Chucky scared the shit out of me as a kid. Eventually I realized that despite my fear I loved the franchise for it’s thoroughly interesting killer, entertaining kills, and at it’s best great stories and at it’s worst so bad it’s good royalty. Even the Don Manncini, creator of the series and writer of every film and director of three, disowned remake is pretty good if thoroughly it’s own thing.  So naturally a Mini-Series taking place between 2 and 3 that may fit neatly into continuity, this is my shit and i’m so happy to finally read it. 

For the lapsed and unintiated, the Chucky/Child’s Play series, the original anyway the remake is it’s own thing and has it’s own backstory, follows Charles Lee Ray, aka Chucky, a serial killer who in desperation to get away from the cop perusing him after his partner ratted him out, used his vodoo knowledge, because every serial killer knows voodoo apparently, to put himself in the nearest vessel, a doll. The rest of the backstory can be covered as we go as the first issue does a really good job of organically explaning it for the unaware. Granted I don’t know if most non child’s play watchers would be intrested in this comic but it’s a nice gesture. 

This mini comes to us from innovation entertainment, a 90′s publishing company that made tie in comics for a number of things, and from writer Andy Mangels who also wrote Innovation’s Nightmare on Elm Street comics, which Linkara has covered in detail if your curious and which i’ll probably cover myself at some point, especially since this issue made a strong impression on me.  Speaking of which, the mini as mentioned takes place between the second and third films, both of which have their own adaptations that i’ll cover eventually, but I felt the original story was more appealing. As far as I can tell there have only been really three bits of media outside the franchise, not counting the aborted video game: A , from all accounts, terrible endless runner game, this mini series, and another mini series from Hack/Slash creator and former Nightwing Maestro Tim Seely, as well as a crossover between Hack/Slash and Chucky from Seely. And having read said crossover and found it excellent and feeling just like the movies in regards to the little shit, I hope to find the mini one day and share it with you lovely people. But even if I had i’d probably be covering this one first since chronological order combined with the fact it seems that mini dosen’t fit into canon anymore and this one might. Now the exposition is out of the way let’s get to the good stuff. 

Since I didn’t really cover the covers in my first two X-Men reviews, and feel I really should going issue by issue it just hadn’t occured to me, let’s look at the cover. It’s decent, kinda a parody of old horror comics covers or old horror movie covers and a nice start to things.. although frankly I would’ve preffered the splash page instead. 

I love it. It’s a nice little gag, and while the blood splatter is partly nonsensical and looks like Chucky just killed a guy to splatter some extra blood about to make his collection look more badass.. though given who we’re dealing with it wouldn’t suprise me, so it dosen’t really detract. That being said being a burgeoning horror fan and having seen films from most of these franchises and knowing enough about those I don’t from other reviewers reviews, i’d be remiss if I didn’t speculate about if Chucky could win against these other titans of terror. PLACE YOUR BETS BITCHES, IT’S A SLASHER OFF. 

Chucky Versus Micheal Meyers: He’d stab him for the love guru. Easy joke aside the horror of haddonefield does have size and strength, even in his old man version from the recent movie and upcoming sequels, over Chucky and while I thought this would be easily him... Chucky has him in speed and agility. He could climb that fucker and stab him up and down, shadow of colossus style, until even Micheal would have to buckle over, or just as likely set an elaborate trap like 2k18 Laurie. Micheal has some intellegence and a Chuck’s own drive not to give up, but that won’t save him from an opponent who’s faster, smarter and just as piss angry stubborn. Chucky wins.  Chucky Versus the Creature from the Black Lagoon: Chucky. The creature is strong but chucky’s craftier and would poison a lake just to kill a bastard.  Chucky Versus Jason: Tough call. Like Micheal, Jason is slow.. but he’s also 20 times more durrable, stronger and way more likely to get Chucky off him. He’s also more likely to use the environment meaning even if I vastly prefer Chucky, it’s a more even fight and more likely to go in Jason’s favor, as any trap Chucky set would likely get walked off. Jason wins.  Chucky Vs The Phantom of the Opera: Not really a traditional slasher and I don’t really know the version that is or the version that isn’t to be frank, but it seems like Erik could take chucky in cleverness and ruthlessness and combined with having home field advantage, i’m calling advantage Erik. He wins.  Chucky Vs Dracula: Okay 1, make this a movie yesterday Mancini and 2, this is a tough one. On the one hand Drac has mist, a horde of brides, wolves and transformation. If it’s home court, Chucky’s gonna die, especially if the count simply uses his brides to seduce him as Chucky is kinda easy that way. But in the US? Chucky is an onry bastard and Dracula has a ton of weakness, so I could see Chucky loosing round one then coming back to kill the bastard at dawn and anyone dumb enough to defend his coffin. Plus Chucky isn’t alone having Tiffany and the ablity to split himself among good guy dolls, so I could see Chucky creating another army of himself to do a suicide run on Drac’s castle. It’d hurt but Chucky is a vengeful dick. Chucky wins. Seriously Mancni get on this.  Chucky Vs Freddy: Depends on the setting: In the Dream World, it’s likely Freddy as he can throw Chuck off guard by giving him his body back or using former survivors, while in the real world it’s Chucky’s turf but Freddy still has knife hands with more reach than his lumbering opponents, so even with prep I expect Chucky to eat that one, so I give it to Freddy. But honestly I prefer Don Mancini’s ACTUAL pitch for a crossover he’s trying to get happening: Chucky and Freddy meet up, and actually admire each other’s style but realize that two killers in town will dry up all the victims so they wage a dirty rotten scoundrel’s style looser leaves town contest: whoever chops up the most teens by dawn stays. I want that yesterday too.  Chucky Vs Xenomorph: If it’s a facehugger as shown, Chucky, it probably woudln’t be able to bond with him and he’d stab it. But a proper showdown.. xenomorph. It matches Chucky’s speed, ferocity and while not as intelligent is still far stronger and just as ruthless.  Chucky Vs Leatherface: Chucky. While Leatherface has the better weapon and matching speed, Chucky can outthink him. Chucky wins but while I haven’t seen Texas Chainsaw Massacre, against the whole clan Chucky probably woudln’t win.. but would probably throw in with them long enough to survive since he’s a murderous bastard too and as long as he dosen’t have to join in dinner, it’s essentially his MO with help and family. He’d probably grow to either love them or get annoyed enough to kill em all.  Chucky Vs  The Tall Man: Tall Man. The Phantasm Ball is just too powerful and Chucky too vunerable and stubborn for a teamup.  Chucky vs Pinhead: Pinhead. I may be too squeamish for hellraiser but he’s FAR above Chucky’s paygrade.  So overall it’s 4 to 6 with Chucky loosing, but he still put up a far better fight than you’d think. And for funsies before we move on to the actual meat of the comic at long fucking last.  Chucky Vs Ash: Ash. Ash is dumb sometimes sure, but he’s just as stubborn, has dealt with being accused of murder before so framing him won’t work, and unlike the Slashers he’s got a shot gun, which while chucky can dodge, I could see Ash pining him. Dumb dosen’t mean he isn’t clever. However I do want to see the hyjinks that would insue so please, Mancini, do this one if you either can’t get freddy or if you can after that. Please? Okay so with ALLLL of that out of the way, let’s dive in. 

We open on the above, what’s left of Chucky after Child’s Play 2, being reforged into a fresh body. It’s exactly as pleasant as you’d think. 

Maybe he just says that because the sight of him with lipstick gives grown men heart attacks. 

See? Unsuprisingly, that’s one of my faviorite Child’s Play moments. Or maybe he just needs a pair of fresh eyes to stop being so hetronormative. 

I do love this bit, it’s a nice bit of comedy that dosen’t feel too broad and fits right into the franchise, even before the outright horror comedies. And now for you ladies and gentleman and other’s pleasure...LIVE NUDE CHUCKY!

Granted Bride would later retcon in a penis, but given he’s in a third body by then. Or maybe it’s the fact his body gets more human the longer he’s in one, so maybe he grows one or fused a strapon to himself. I dunno. I’m not an expert in Chucky’s Penis. That’s Don Mancini’s job. So Chucky puts some pants on, because wether it’s because you love somebody or want to stab them silly, you put your pants on for them, and wonders if he should wear something more inconspicuous before realizing he’s a 3 foot animate doll.. he’s always going to be conspicuous, another inspired bit of comedy. This is something I like about the issue: Regognizing how ludicrious the two sequels at the time were, Mangels leans into the comedy a little, but without overriding the horror, as you’ll soon see, somehow correctly predicting the direction of the franchise. But chucky made a mistake.. the last page showed him triggering an alarm by accident and well. 

As you can see in a neat stylistic choice, the siren blares over the entire page as Chucky makes a run for it and a mysterious observer sees a slight against god running about, decides cool and follows. He accidently slams into chucky in another funny bit. He offers a ride and while Chucky balks at this weirdo, said weirdo points out that how’s he’s going to outrun the cops otherwise and Chucky reluctantly gets in. And it says something if the guy with a bigger body count than a heart attack still has reservations going with you. The teen says Chucky reminds him of a kid who was in the papers for claming a doll killed some people and his mother who backed up the story, was suspected to have did it and put her in an insane asylum, or as this little shit calls it “Electro-Shock Pallace” as someone who himself is mentally ill, and afraid of asylums and lives in a world two decades removed where mass killings happen often and are often pinned on mental illness, fuck this twerp and I can’t wait for his commupance. Chucky sets him straight. 

See this is why I didn’t jsut do a big infodump on everything right up front, the comic does a good cjob recapping child’s play 1, and 2 isn’t relevant to the plot aside from the intro. They explain things quick and fast and chucky himself gives a good chunk of the film’s backstory pretty quickly once he and shades here get back to his house. 

This is also interesting as even the films haven’t really gone into how Charles Lee Ray felt as he became a doll or if he was conscious when Karen first got him. There’s more of course, and while it’s not necessary to this story, Karen does show up in this series, so i’ll fill you in on where the story went from there, as well as what Chucky left out or wasn’t there for. Here we go... Karen Barclay was the struggling mother of young Andy, who wanted a Good Guy doll for his birthday. Karen, not having much, found one second hand... Chucky. Chucky started manipulating the young kid, offscreen though that just makes it more unsettling even if the mystery of if Chucky’s real or not is kinda pointless when we saw a guy explode himself into a doll. I also like the nod that Chucky knows about as much as the fans do as to why their was a mega explosion. He first kills Karen’s best friend and Andy’s babysitter for the night, which Andy blames Chucky. No one belivies him.. which is understandable.. what’s not is when Chucky kills next, having andy take him to his acomplice’s house and blowing it up, NO ONE seems to question why a little child blew up a known criminal, how he knew where the house was, or why, when the previous crime was done in the home with motive, he killed some random guy. I do love this film but this bit feels especially dumb on the cops part not even bending a LITTLE. But this isn’t a review of the first movie so let’s move on.  Andy is comitted, which as sad as it is to see an innocent child thrown in an institution does make at least some sense so they can find out if he’s really seeing things or not, and Karen returns.. and finds that the Good Guy dolls don’t come with batteries, yet Chucky has been talking like any other toy. As a result we get one of the best scenes in the franchise history if not it’s best, and really, as much as I try I can’t do it justice. Though if you can’t watch in short he does an exorcist when she checks the batteries, she threatens to burn him, and he reveals himself. In long... it’s worth a watch. 

Chucky runs for it, Karen tries to tell Mike who dosen’t belivie her.. until Chucky comes for him. Chucky then heads for Dr.Death, his vodoo 101 teacher, who refuses to help him viewing him an abomination but stupidly left a vodoo fetish of himself around and you can guess the rest. He reveals Chucky can only transfer to the first person he revealed himself too so he heads for Andy with .. this. 

Mancini had to know what he was doing right? Right? Anyway. Karen and Mike find a dying Death who tells them to aim for the heart and who his target is. Andy dodges Chucky and escapes the Aslyum heading home where we get a final confrontation between the Barclay’s, Mike and Chucky, which is damn good and ends with Andy burning the fucker with a badass response to his claim of being his friend to the end “This is the end friend”. This dosen’t quite finish him but a shot to the heart, with Mike to blame, kills the bastard.. for now. Now we’re all caught up, let’s get back to the story. 

Dipshit has called his friends to see Chucky and as seen above, Chucky is wondering why he shoudln’t kill the guy.. but Dumbass has a good point for once: his one friend is studying magic, presumibly at Durmstrang since Hogwarts dosen’t tolerate that kinda shit, and could help summon dr. death to see if they can fix his situation. Granted Death viewed him as an abomination and wanted nothing to do with Chucky, but he might let something slip or have no choice and it’s better than the nothing Chucky has to go on. Chucky gives exposition to Fuckwit’s friends and claims he killed Dr.Death in self defense, which isn’t entirely innacurate and Steaming Bowl of Elephant Piss suggests holding a seance. But one of his friends, Burt, who seems to be the only one to see Chucky for the red flag he is, calls an audible and Chucky grumbles off while they talk in private. 

As you can see, Fuckbucket sets the intellgence standard for his group. However their not SO obnoxious that it distracts from how horrible what’s about to happen will them will be. Except shitty shitty bang bang. Since It’s hard to remember all of the dead meets names i’ll be calling the girl Molly Ringwald, Burt by his name since he’s being sensiable, the moron drinking his own blood Edgelord, and Numbnuts MCGee my current barrage of creative insults. But yeah none of them take Chucky as a threat seriously, which is a nice little meta commentary on how most people think they could take Chucky, even though the guy is nigh unkillable, smart and fast and stronger, if not heavier, than him being a doll would make you think. Burt is the ONLY one here who seems to think harboring a serial killing doll is a terrible idea and thus the only one I respect. And “Most LIkely To Run Into A Wall” has the genius observation seen above where he asks “we’re helping him why would he hurt us”... when he’s already threatned to kill him and has no use for any of them once he has any info they can scrape up, with Burt pointing out even if their sucessful they’ll be responsible for more killing. Sadly he’s outvoted. Seriously while I do like Mangels, I question his opinon on teenagers and horror fans, especially given his long screed about the horrors of the world at the front of the issue and how his comics horrors don’t compare to racisim or homphobia, though the latter is a nice touch considering this was the early 90′s and some horror audiences could be homphobic morons, when the horror fans he portray are a darwin award of the decade winner, a moron who cuts himself not because he has serious issues with depression but to drink his own blood, a witch who goes along with their stupidity, and ... one likeable guy who’s coded as a wuss but is the only sane one here. 

So morons r us, plus burt and chucky, call Dr.Death’s spirit forth in a very moody and atmospheric scene. Naturally it goes GREAT. 

Dr.Death’s form dissolves terrifyingly and awesomely and our morons, and Burt,  are left, literally since they turned the light’s down in the dark> Burt is freaking out and has shards of crap in him thanks to all this.. couldn’t of killed fuckaround could you John? Burt is lead to the bathroom, while Fuckwit and Edgelord head downstairs, Fuckwit heading further down to check the breakers since the power is out for the whole house while Edgelord actually says something smart and wonders what they ALL shoudlv’e been thinking about: Where’s chucky? He has a response in this AWESOME looking panel. 

And here’s where the it dosen’t undercut the tragedy bit comes into play. Sure these kids are kinda dumb.. but most teens are, and they might not belivie he actually killed peope or even if they did, think they can take him as foolishly stated. They had their whole lives to become better people, and Mollly Ringwald and Burt seemed like decent enough people while Edgelord was probably going though a phase. Dum Dum Dumbassigan dosen’t really get a huge repreive but the point is NONE of them deserve to die and they aren’t dialed up to obnoxious, except assface, to be that unsympathetic. Their being stupid sure, but again MOST TEENS ARE or will at least be easily talked into doing something that all common sense says should kill them. And sadly in David, aka edgelord’s case...

Yeah it took a while but I had that gore warning for a reason. And he then decides to fill David with knives. I also stopped calling him edgelord because well. .look at it. The death is horrifying, well drawn and only made worse when Chucky decides to play “pin cushion” and fill him with knives off screen. His next target is sadly my man burt. He does complain A LOT and while a little whiny, given he’s covered in cuts, about to die and was the ONLY ONE here to excercise caution.. yeah he has a right to be. And then.. this happens to Burt in the bathroom...

Yup, THAT just happened. But I like it a lot.. it’s done with style, humor.. but not without horror either. A nicely done little parody. Molly, or wendy as the comic calls her, wonders around the Darkness for a bit.. and then finds David’s corpse.. which I own’t show as holy shit it’s as graphic as it is horrifying. And given what I showed you of his death earlier, that’s saying something.She tells an approaching Moron to stay back.. and well..

In order....... I am so angry at that first panel “I don’t know what happened here....” I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED HERE. 

BITCHCAKES, YOU LET A SERIAL KILLER INTO YOUR HOUSE WHO VANISHED ON YOU AFTER A SPOOKY GHOST TOLD YOU TO KILL HIM OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES. WHAT IN THE STAR SPANGLED, CHERRY COATED MARSHMELLOW FUCK DID YOU THINK HAPPENED.  Second, while I get her logic, Fartnugget isn’t capable of working out basic sequence of events let alone killing a person.  And finally.. there is no amount of gifs that can convey how happy I am at that last panel. 

Wendy goes mad from the shock and Chucky, whos’ been lurking under the table this whole time with a Freddy Glove, strikes. 

It’s no “welcome to prime time BITCH”, but I think Freddy would dig it. Naturally, the glove dosen’t kill her but she snaps her neck.. and then chucky , of all things, calls the police. 

I’ll not explode with rage again btu the david’s dead line tempted me, as HE JUST KILLED YOUR FRIEND OF COURSE HE DID. As for his threat... Chucky is unimpressed. See this was his plan. At least once they stopped being useful. Gee who could’ve predicted that? Chucky has decided to frame ponytailed idiot for it, a real brilliant way of going about things, and to me WHY Chucky is such a threat. Even if you beat him, if you don’t have proof.. he still gets you locked up and then comes back stronger than ever. This ending also actually helps with a plot hole some might have with the series. 

Chucky dosen’t leave fingerprints. He MIGHT as he turns more human, bud odds are he dosen’t, thus it’s easy enough to frame whoever’s left.. though it was neat to see him do so intentionally. Truck Nuts breaks down, Chucky flees and we end on a teaser for the next issue as some mysterious Doctor has come to Karen Barclay with promises to help go after Chucky. But that’s for another day. For now our story is done. There’s also a page for a “Stuck On Chuck” contest, with the winners getting to be in issue 5. Just bringing that up so if I ever get there, I won’t have missed it. And with that we finally close out. 

Final Thoughts: 

This issue is excellent. I was expecting something slightly cheesy and not great, and while there are narmy elements: the commentary on horror being a media scapegoat seems out of place and as I made abdundantly clear on second read the lead is insufferable. His fate is still tragic, but he’s such a moron I can’t help but feel he brought it on himself, but his friends aren’t so obnoxious that you don’t feel bad when they do die, a mistake full on horror movies make too often. The kills are gory, as shown there’s some nice visual flair here and there, and chucky is drawn amazingly, especially for the time. There’s an awkward shot here or there but for the most part the artist really captures him well. This comic is a hidden Gem and if your a fan of the films or even just the first one, I strongly recommend it, or if nothing else as I haven’t gotten to the rest, this issue.  If you liked this review, feel free to like or reblog, and if you want one like it for the issue or graphic novel of your choice, just pm and slip 5 bucks into my paypal and i’ll get right on it as soon as the first week of november. Until then, i’m your friend to the end. 

[hellsparadiseessays]

Little details from chapter 79

Aka the chapter that got me like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. 

I’m not kidding, that’s literally how my Twitter thread started. 

More under the cut.

The chapter is very action-oriented so my observations basically switch from one thing to the other very quickly there. We start with an explanation of how to make the wooden dolls and papers that indicate someone’s status. Feel free to experiement in your kitchen

During the exchange with Rien should I call that Rien’s monologue, considering he likes listening to himself? we get to learn that Tôma bears an ill omen. Is it tied to Chôbe’s accidental attack, back during the fight against Gabimaru? When Tôma intervened, back then, Chôbe accidentally injured him. And ooooh look, Chôbe is basically withholding information from his brother. 

Speaking of Tôma, look at him being all waspy while protecting a friend! It ties neatly into what Chôbe had previously observed: his little brother doesn’t just have his usual passive behaviour around Fuchi and Tetsunosuke, he’s much more expressive!

Meanwhile, Tetsunosuke keeps being extra while ignoring the healer of the party, who’s not enjoying the whole situation. It’s yet another example of Fuchi being very sensitive behind his strange (well, he’s just a massive nerd) behavior. He’s gentle and he cares a lot.

Though funnily enough, Fuchi is also the one who tends to lean on the fourth wall. Here, he’s even naming the attack in a really shonen-y fashion. Though he is right: it’s the same move that got Tetsunosuke in huge “death penalty” trouble. But now, it’s about to save them all instead!

I couldn’t find what Fuchi means by “inu position”. However, I suspect it has to do biology, since it’s linked to the placement of Tao Fa’s Tanden. If someone can bring some light into that, I’d appreciate it!

And because Fuchi’s Metal attribute can go against Tao Fa’s Wood attribute, and since he’s powered by Tôma’s complementary Earth attribute (cue them holding hands, Tao Fa does the same to complement Ju Fa’s Fire attribute), he’s able to strike her down once and for all. The way he acts around her is another example of his gentle nature, and a nice parallel/call back to Sagiri’s behavior when she cut Rokurota down, at the start of the manga.Considering what we learned about Ju Fa and Tao Fa, framing it as a mercy kill is very fitting.

On the other hand, we have Chôbe who is... Not as pleasant. In fact, he’s downright petty and fairly cruel with both his strategy (emptying bottles full of Water attribute essence, thus weakening ever more Ju Fa by nullifying his Fire attribute) and his taunt. Since the beginning, I’ve been saying he strongly dislikes the Tensen, and I wasn’t even exaggerating: he really doesn’t like them. They didn’t treat him like a person and he answered in kind, because he’s very vindicative and can’t stand having shit forced on him, especially the way they did - coercing him into sex, then going full torture session to gather material for the elixir of immortality. Speaking of torture session, because Rien Is A Dumb Bitch blinded by his own single-mindedness, he didn’t realise the “torture session to improve your Tao” thing could (and would) be used against him and his kin. It’s not even that he misjudged Chôbe’s character, he completely ignored it and it’s starting to backfiring spectacularly. Just look at Chôbe being desensitized enough to casually pull at his own entrails (while looking amazingly demonic, I dig that look). On a side note, the panels where we see him swallow the bottles really shows how Kaku was Fujimoto’s assistant before going his own way: Chôbe looks like Denji’s (Chainsaw Man) clever older brother there, it’s pretty funny.

Just look at him being as petty as humanly possible while Fuchi is lowkey outraged. Btw his Tao really did improve, have you noticed how easily he switches from his human form to his semi-kishikai one? He can even talk while in semi-kishikai form as well! Before that, he could only act like a mindless beast.

Also, him using these bottles on Ju Fa may mean we won’t get Chôbe vs Gabi 2: Electric Boogaloo... And I’m perfectly fine with that! Now that we’ve seen Chôbae cooperate with Team Fuchi, I’d like to see it pushed more with some cooperation (no matter how unwilling both of them are) because while they’re handling the Tensen... Well, problem is still heading their way, in the form of the ShuGang and the Iwagakure ninja. They won’t be able to afford headbutting, and it’d go against their character arcs imo.

In contrast to Chôbe’s brutal take down of Ju Fa, Tetsunosuke’s method is more gentle and fitting of his personal view of what a warrior and a real man should be: flamboyant, but showing respect to his enemies - especially when they provided a good fight.

Speaking of demises and all, I’m pleasantly surprised no one in Team Fuchi kicked the bucket! They’re safe, at least for now! I genuinely suspected Tetsunosuke would be the one to go, considering his wish for a flamboyant death... But someone on Discord (Hexuse if I remember correctly) pointed out how Tetsunosuke won’t have the death he wishes because that’s not how UG’s story telling works. So I’m personally betting on a sacrifice in a non-flamboyant situation (if not something more dishonorable and going against Tetsunosuke’s views).

Also PLEASE UG STOP MAKING ME SAD WITH TAO FA AND JU FA. Jfc I’m super weak to sibling relationships, this entire fight hit me like a truck with its character development.

Aaaaand that’s how we switch to another fight... No, not Shion and Nurugai! It’s Sagiri and Mei facing the one Tensen we didn’t know the whereabouts of: Gui Fa! I’m telling you now: Gui Fa is the one Tensen I actually stan. Not the nicest Tensen (and actually the one who suggested the idea to lure people in along with Tao Fa), but damn is that “fuck this fight, just let me read my book in peace” attitude oddly relatable. On these good words, see you in the next Little Details post!

[slaughtergutz]

Top five slashers and why

1. JASON VOORHEES - Friday the 13th

 i’ve been accused of being Pamela kin because of how much I love this boy. (I mean, I also cosplay and rp Pam too, so that could be why, but anyways.) He just really pulls at my heartstrings. The first Jason movie I ever actually saw was Freddy vs Jason and out of any of the movies that really shows like how. fucking tragic his death is (although it was a bit of a change from earlier canon, where Jason went out on his own rather than being chased by bullies.)

Jason Voorhees has done nothing wrong in his life, ever. He’s just trying to avenge his mom and make sure the same thing doesn’t happen to some other kid. Also I’ve almost drowned once because the lifeguard either wasn’t paying attention or couldn’t actually recognize the signs of drowning SO THAT’S KIND OF RELATEABLE TOO. He’s just. not scary to me, I just want him to know his momma’s proud of him. And that he’s handsome and has a nice ass and cheekbones.

2. PAMELA VOORHEES - Friday the 13th

If the previous couple of paragraphs didn’t make it clear enough, I’m pretty damn obsessed with Pam. She was assaulted at age 15, gave birth to a disabled child at age 16, probably kicked out of her home at the time because it was the fuckin 40′s and people treated unwed teenage mothers like SHIT, and raised her baby by herself, killed her abusive husband, suffers through mental illness alone and untreated and then, NOT MUCH OLDER THAN I AM, her son disappears at a lake when people you trusted were supposed to be watching him. His body is never recovered. Your whole fucking world is gone and nobody will do anything to help you because of how he looked. 

I would absolutely do the same thing in her shoes (which….probably says a little something about me, but that’s beside the point.) She just wanted to stop them from opening the fucking camp so another mother doesn’t have to endure knowing that their baby is at the bottom of the lake. 

I never knew that the original killer of the Friday franchise wasn’t Jason–so when I first played it I was absolutely fucking ecstatic that slasher that started off this franchise, and inspired so many other movies, was a woman, and a mother, just trying to find justice and peace. I never thought I’d live long enough to grow old, but now I’m highkey looking forward to my 50′s when I can pull off her cosplay much more accurately. 

3. BUBBA SAWYER - Texas Chainsaw Massacre 

hhhh big man handsome. He’s so fucking sweet tho??? He does what he does because if he doesn’t, Drayton’s gonna yell at him and hit him and things get worse. He’s scared. HE FLINCHES WHEN SALLY FUCKING YELLS AT HIM. He’s a baby??? A horny baby. TCM 2 is my favorite horror movie. He has amazing body language and the sounds he makes are fantastic. And as a seamster I just am fucking all over in love with the set design and costume design in the TCM movies, and I just think it’s great that he makes his own damn masks and has a room full of bones because fuck man, me too??? (I mean I only have a bucket full of bones that are supposed to be whitening atm but. I wish to make more things out of bones in the future.)

4. SADIE CUNNINGHAM & MCKAYLA HOOPER - Tragedy Girls

I feel like it’d be cheating to put them separately, but Tragedy Girls is also legit one of my favorite horror movies. Also? Big Bi Energy. I like that they’re like, highkey prep goth. FUcking. teenage girls, capturing a slasher and planning their own murder sprees??? I’m probably going to get weird looks for this, but they’re the exact kind of friendship that I wished I had when I was a kid. That sort of impenetrable bond is like, dare I say, OTP. I wish I had this movie when I was younger. They’re killer queens, Heathers eat your FUCKING hearts out. 

5. MOTHERFACE- Dude Bro Party Massacre III

I know she’s like, a joke slasher, but she’s honestly so great. Like, this movie is probably the funniest fucking movie I’ve ever seen and I want all of you to watch it immediately (preferably with friends), so I don’t want to spoil too much, but I’ve seen a lot of people want a vigilante slasher who goes after shitty men AND HELLO, THAT IS HER, MOTHERFACE. Her design is both grotesque and sexy in a way that I don’t hate, I think it’s fantastic. I relate to her because I too, am full of shitty one-liners and eventually run out of steam thinking of them.

6. TIFFANY VALENTINE - Bride of Chucky

i want her to marry me

Honorable mentions: Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger, Candyman, Stripe, Baby Firefly, and probably a lot more that I’m forgetting. 

[knightofbalance-13]

http://kaedeichinose.tumblr.com/post/155455868286/everything-in-rwby-is-controlled-by-men-either

... @mageknight14 , You didn’t mix in my secret stash did you?

Everything in RWBY is controlled by men, either actively or passively, and here’s a huge bullet point list elaborating on how shitty the agency of female characters is in a show billed as female driven with “””strong””” female characters.

As we will see, they actually don’t and this person is just complaining without focus.

And again: just because you have a strong female cast doesn’t mean you have to ignore the male cast. In fact: RWBY is unique in that it has an equally strong male cast, making a TRUE progressive show...and sadly, RWBY is not SUPPOSE to be progressive so that's pathetic.

It’s mostly for my benefit because I’ve been stewing on this shit for a while now but I’ll post it in the rwde tag in case anyone else wants to fully absorb this train wreck but mostly it boils down to: let the women lead their own lives

Ah huh, see here’s the thing: the gusy are just as heavily defined by the woman as vice versa. You’ll latter down the line:

Ruby: No female role models outside of her sister, but the farthest Yang’s seemed to have influenced her life is being a replacement mom which is icky and all of her skills come from her male mentor(s) or just straight magic

Being motherly is “icky?” Lady, I once saw a mother character whoop superhuman ass by sowing a rotting touch girl into concrete, cut through human-sized vines with garden trimmers and once tackled a giant with a chainsaw all to protect her kid. That kid happen to be her son and looked up to and loved his mother very much to the point 90% of his personality seems to come from her.

Not to mention her father Taiyang is completely defined by his children and losing his lovers, characters in their own right independent from him, and he only really interacts with his kids. His defining character trait is that he is the main character’s father. Next.

Weiss: Mom’s not even lucid, no other females in her life sans winter who still acts cold and distant despite the shared life experiences, Weiss is pushed around and treated like “women should be seen, not heard” manner not only by her father but by most people around her which is weird as remnant is “all inclusive” so that ideology shouldnt even exist

“All inclusive” implies Fanaus too dumbass. And even OUR society has shit like this so don’t go blaming Remannt for that.

Also: Jacques and Whitely are clearly treated as Villians in that regard and that they are massively wrong and while WInter is distant somewhat, she has been the only person to give Weiss solid advice and is Weiss’ goal for Volume 5. So that doesn’t work.

And again, we have a male too: Whitely has no personality outside of hating his sister and being a little bitch and is just an obstacle for Weiss to overcome. He has no agency of his own unlike Weiss who does.

Blake: Her mom’s kind but ultimately all her skills and passion come from the influence of her male ex-partner. Kali doesn’t even seem to be as high up in the chain as Ghira and even now most of Blake’s reconciliation seems to be happening with her dad

Okay...and? SO Blake takes after her dad: so what? Ghira and Kali are used as a parallel to Blake and Sun clearly seeing as Kali acts more like Sun than Blake so it’s obviously a counterpart thing.

Again, we have Sun who has no character outside of Blake, is completely debouted to her for no reason, has put up with a lot of crap from her and revolves entirely around her. If he were a girl it would be so offensive to you. But it’s a guy so no problem here! 

Yang: Again, no female role models. Seems to have been forced to take over parenting once Tai Yang shut down for an nondescript period of time. Current season is implying her skills came from her father mentoring her.

Again: What’s the problem with Taiyang mentoring her? She matched Taiyang hand to hand and the guy’s a freaking full fledged Huntsman: She’s being empowered by being a better fighter than her dad.

And isn’t Yang pulling herself together while her full grown father couldn’t a sigh of strength? If that isn’t strong Idon’t know what is.

The entirety of JNPR: Nora and Pyrrha scarcely even fucking talk to each other or any other female characters, neither of them have any women in their life nor does Ren. Jaune’s big family honor passed from his grand father to his dad to him, mother and sisters mentioned in passing to justify Jaune doing something “””girly”””. I’m not even going to fucking touch on Pyrrha’s existance being entirely tied to Jaune because you’ve probably heard that a million times already.

1. Gender bender: it’s more that the chaarcetrs representing guys (Nora and Pyrrha) are connected to the gril representatives (Jaune and Ren.)

2. It was never passed down to Jaune: he took it for himself. Not to mention Jaune himself was entirely reliant on Pyrrha and Ruby for character development meaning he’s just as dependant as you say Pyrrha is. In afct the instant Pyrrha dies, Jaune becomes a supporting character to Ruby. He literally drops down a peg.

3. Pyrrha’s a mentor character who is entirely reliant on her underling for support, cares very much about him and is killed for his skae? Gee, you just described KAMINA, the manly man of TTGL. In fact, Pyrrha is a stronger character than Kamina seeing as she has her own strength, gets screentiem outside of Jaune and has an arc to herself all unlike Kamina. And Kamina himself was based off a female (Kazumi Amano), was replaced by a female (Nia Tepplin) and is succeded by a female (Mako Makanchou) so the male gender is the one being trampled on here.

Emerald and cinder and cinder and salem are the only fucking female-female role model/mentor relationships in the fucking show and theyre all main antagonists and the villain club still managed to be a sausage fest

Yeah! ... And Weiss and Winter ... And Jaune would be worthless without Pyrrha...and Nora saved Ren’s like twice and taught him to calm the fuck down...And Ruby;s strength is always attributed to her mother...And Gynda’s a teacher so she HAD to have mentored them...

Also: That’s two mentors in the series. Can we get the male and male mentors....There’s only one?....Mercury and his abusive dad...who he killed...and hates...Yep.

Cinder: Accomplished her goal (kind of) but got punished for it (granted shes the villain) but the punishment was muting and crippling the single most powerful woman in the show to date sans Salem

Ozpin: Strongest Guy in the show: Gets his ass handed to him by Cinder in such a manner that she was barely affected.

Salem: [disney villain laughing.mp4]

Ozpin: [Dumbledore getting his ass handed to him by Heromine.jpg]

Emerald: she idolizes cinder but the relationship is demonstrably unhealthy, the only real female-female mentor relationship on the show and its an unhealthy one between two villains

Weiss and Winter, Yang and Ruby, Glynda and Pyrrha + every female student...

Glynda: went from being Ozpin’s right hand to literally inconsequential, the men are off saving the world and protecting ozpin’s vision and she’s literally been left to clean all on her own. Pick up a hammer and nails, port and oobleck you lazy fucks

Port: “We all need some rest”

Implying they’re helping Glynda with Glynda being the spearhead.

Penny: both creators and trainers/parents are male (unfortunately not i nthat way), she was on her way to having a good relationship with ruby only shes fucking dead to further the plot so dang i guess

That’s baised againt heterosexuals.

And she’s also the strongest non-grownup in the show, far outclassing Sun who is the strongest teen male.

The maidens: despite being the most powerful women in the fucking world (supposedly) theyre controlled and monitored and protected by a group largely consisting of men and are being successfully hunted down by another group largely consisting of men, not to mention their powers are jokes (i mean amber got taken down by two malnourished kids and cinder like what) and their one weakness is the silver eye power, which seems to be a gender neutral power

Likely so no one in the group can be temted to take the power for themselves.

Amber was said to be cocky and inexperienced Vs. three experienced fighters. Also once Cinder got the power, she curbstomped the strngest male in the show, canonically killing him.

Kali: easily best mom but seems pretty hands off in blake’s life, also notable that while her husband is an ex-WF leader and goes to meetings she just kind of sat there smiling while her husband went to do the leader junk

She also forced Blake to confront her father about leaving, called Blake out for not talking about Team RWBY and is the female counterpart to Sun, who is even less  active.

Ms.Schnee: doesnt even have a FUCKING NAME despite the fact that SHE’S THE SCHNEE. mostly feels like an after thought in weiss’ narrative, shit mom

Neither does Pyrrha’s dad and he’s not evenmentioned.

Also: It’s called focusing on what is needed. And can you blame here? here husband and son are complete jackasses.

Summer: Despite being a huge influence on multiple characters the most we know of this legendary warrior is that she was a good mom and a good wife. thats it

Sis said to be a powerful Huntsman from yang and has Taiyanga and Qrow wrapped around her dead finger. Also, she raised a child that wasn’t ehrs with such love and kindness Yang didn’t even know they weren’t related. Again, THAT is strength. She’s also the reason why Ruby is so strong so she’s the source of power for the main character.

Neon: unnecessary stereotypical cattiness but maybe thats just me being annoyed she called yang fat despite them having the same body type

Based off Nyan Cat, meme meant to annoy and is intergral to the team stardgey with her partner Flynt.

Not a single world leader we’ve been introduced to has been female (unless you count salem but, again, the main antagonist). No female head masters, no females in politics, no female WF leaders (kali could potentially be one but that hasnt been implied)

The world leaders are either misguided at best (Ozpin) of fucking cowards at worst (Leo) and the only WF leader we’ve seen is the racist, geocidal son of a bitch Adam so they are actually higher up than the guys.

the gods are literally just a gender flipped version of luna and celestia despite the fact theyre magic gods who dont even need gender fuck off

... I have no idea what they are saying: the brother’s are a representation of creation and destruction: simple as that.

Meanwhile: Male characters are eiteh entirely reliant on females for power and/or development (Taiyang, Jaune, Ren), are treated as assholes who aren’t even true villains (Jacques Schnee, Whitely Schnee, Adam Tauras), serve under women who show favor to women (Tyrian, Watts, Hazel, Torchwick), act as people who can only help women (Port and oobleck) ect.

Ruby is still self driven and considered better than Jaune.

Weiss is treated as the one good person ina  family of shit head males/

Blake is treated as right whereas her male counterpart is treazted as wrong.

Yang is treated as stronger tan her father, a full fledged Hunstamn.

Nora restraisn Ren and has the far more standout personality that can work on it’s own.

Pyrrha is the reason behind Jaune’s development.

ect.

Both genders rely on each other: Strength in unity. Theme of the show. Not everything is fucking sexist.

[elkian]

chapter 21 appeared nonetheless!

oh lord, this map. this map is where i got stuck on my last play.

as Blastinus repeats, Show, don’t tell (especially with the Golden-Sun-esque wordcount already established). Absolutely none of this is reflected in gameplay, and we (spoilers) recruit the dude responsible immediately following this chapter with no real consequences either way.

My suggestion is to rewrite this to be a) shorter and b) be about Risk running off on his lonesome because of duress and because he’s not great at thinking things through/rash, the latter of which was established 4 chapters ago.

yeah, these are actual enemies in the upcoming map

we won’t be deploying Shon because I don’t have a fucking death wish, but we will be distributing some ‘roids

Part of me wanted to help pump Anakin’s luck up even further so he could cap, but I only have one of these things, and Emma is a Luck-starved staple unit

i stumbled upon this as I was paging through units, seeing who’d get what. Lyam is actually barely better than Asch, and that makes me sad.

his name is literally Blaine King

lastly, here’s Zach compared to a generic enemy archer. he’s better in everything except Skill(!!), and his defenses are only a touch higher. He’s really not that good, though his ridic speed and decent Con make up for a lot

How is Karina faster and more skillful than Lirin? What the fuck?

Lirin’s taking a hike to make room for Tamiko.

ha!

Cia wastes a Merc for a fuckin’ amazing level. That makes four units to have capped speed so far.

Anakin Motivates Ed to succeed

this poor cav can’t double Ed even with an Iron Sword

Rex decides his performance so far isn’t impressive enough and crits a fucker

look at this shit!

Not including the three we just murdered, there’s 38 enemies on this field. The good news is that the promoted enemies will not move.

further good news is that aside from Ed, no one’s taken a single hit

pffft!

Karina can’t land a crit with the Killer Lance, but 3% is apparently enough.

speaking of crits

between his relatively decent skill gains and his support with Ace, Ed is now primed to Charge

a good level!

okay, that one actually hurt. Ed doubles the fighter exactly to death for

strength cap and an okay defensive gain!

...tekun, you’re in range of both your supports, have capped speed, and are sitting on a forest. HOW DOES THIS RANDOM CAVALIER HAVE 42% HIT ODDS

(fortunately, said cav misses)

rex has nearly the same odds near ONE support and no terrain bonus

also, he can outdamage Steel with Iron. I love Rex.

see, this I can understand.

fuck you (it misses)

i’m really glad this missed, to be honest.

fffffff

FUCK

welp

let’s do this a little differently. Emma is so stupidly stacked that no enemy can deal more than 5 damage at a time to her, and too fast to double

YOU ARE A VALKYRIE

I mean, I’m sure as hell not complaining, but what the shit?

I’ll take it.

Ace overkill crits the FUCK out of this mage on the second attack

the nice thing about our crew is that they’re too fast to be doubled by practically anything on this map, and my defensive formation keeps multiple attackers off most of the weaker units. so Ed takes a hit, but pretty much nothing can get in range of him to capitalize

Ace counterkills a luckless Fighter for an excellent level

this is just sad

the only one of three enemies to land a hit on Tekun

they were at 1 HP you bastard!

also, apparently I was wrong, the Bishop DOES move.

I don’t think I realized how underleveled Kelik was. He’s gaining levels practically every skirmish

oh ho!

Tempting, but then Ace can’t A-Rank Ed or Anakin. I’ll think about it.

I... yeah, okay. You’re still awesome, Kevin.

Mark breaks his Hand Axe for... a level.

Ed breaks an enemy to again cap Strength

Karina and Sai tag-team a Mage for an excellent level. Also, I don’t think Karina has procced a crit with the Killer Lance on a single ‘canon’ use.

Siegfried is required on this map. I’m largely not using him, though he handily clears out this peg

whatever

this asshole was directly responsible for me resetting on this turn - he hit Mark and someone else followed up. This time it misses. Also, I don’t think the AI is programmed to recognize Aircalibur as effective vs fliers, this is the second time one has ignored a flier for another unit.

Karina dodges, crits, but can’t ORKO this hefty Fighter

I thought maybe the Dephi Shield also blocked Aircalibur, but clearly the AI does not take that into consideration

get fucked

Zach nails a Merc for a great, if Skill-less, level

...so either Aircalibur’s description of ‘Tears through the wings of Pegasi’ is an exclusive statement, or the Delphi Shield DOES block it.

Devil Axe Fighter eliminates themself

the chainsaw is fucking ridiculous. Look at that Crit!

...well okay then

she got an unnecessary crit and a pretty good level

this took a year off my laugh. Thankfully she dodged and didn’t get doubled

Ace helps finish the Paladin for a good level

Anakin helps Cia murder the Warrior for nice levels all around

Not being about to ORKO this cav is actually a blessing, because Javelin Cav decides to try a different target

 said target crits em right in the face

cav reinforcements keep occurring. There’s also allied cav reinforcements but they mostly exist to screw up my formation

The rest pile on Ace, who gives 0 fucks

fuck you guys

the enemy AI hasn’t lost its penchant for targeting allied units, slowing the slaughter down further but also drawing heat off my weakened units

oh yeah, I forgot about this!

now there’s some REAL prepromote stats

arthur is so fucking underleveled at this point, I kinda feel bad

fuck you. Literally the only thing Storm has on Zach is a point of Skill and a unique weapon

Fun fact: Liquid apparently has innate Lethality.

Emma tops Sai off for the one stat she actually needs, besides Luck

Tekun decides Effective Damage is not enough, and crits the shit out of a poor cavalier

She’s close

oh shit i didn’t realize this druid moved

ed saves me some charges by critting on the first hit and OHKOing this Druid. He gets a weapon level and a renamed Luna tome for his trouble

Rex kills a Merc for a fantastic level

Mark caps out okay.

Kevin actually doubles this sad fighter, though he misses both times

man tekun’s underleveled

ZACH

in another universe this was skill-speed, I’ll take either

Kelik tells this Sage to get bent

i’m sure we’ll find someone who wants this

Liquid wastes the Sniper...okay

Also, jfc, that’s on the middling-low side of HP considering our crew

we snag Kelik and Althare’s B Rank

Tamiko tops Tekun off

Tamiko now has more HP than Liquid, who is a Berserker

incredible boss

Karina kills a reinforcement for a good level

so I totally forgot to bring Risk’s recruiter. Oh well.

Kevin, I still love you, but I need more than this. I only have one Amulet.

Funfact: i brought the Seal Silence staff but didn’t use it once. Oh well.

get fucked

And Kelik caps speed!

there’s plot, but otherwise we’re done

[eridianshores-blog]

Yes, I Just Sat Through Sharknado 4

Look, I know these movies are supposed to be ridiculous as shit, but I firmly believe that Sharknado: The 4th Awakens is the death knell for the once watchably-schlocky series.

None of these movies are worth scholarly, comprehensive criticism, but the phenomenon of “so-bad-it’s-good” versus “just plain bad” is worth examining.  See, the first film was pretty much like any other high concept SyFy film; yeah it was dumb and unapologetic, but it still basically tried to be a film.  Even though it became this massive “hit,” I think what a lot of people fail to realize is that it was made like any other P.O.S. SyFy movie.  I mean there’s nothing wrong with liking Mega Python vs. Gatoroid or Mansquito but let’s be honest about what they are - high concept schlock made on a shoestring budget.  And that’s all Sharknado was.  Why did it catch on?  It’s hard to say.  

My thought is that it was simply seen by enough people.  All it takes nowadays for something to go viral is a tweet or two from the right influential people, and boom, instant exposure.  It’s very possible these days for a single tweet or like or share to be the difference between “just another random piece of internet fodder” and “next big thing (for 15 minutes - or less).”

Popularity points aside, there are plenty of B-movies better than Sharknado.  It does have a few things going for it though.  The acting, while uneven, isn’t completely awful and the most cringeworthy parts seem to be the result of an unnatural script rather than a failure of acting talent.  Another plus is that it attempts to take itself somewhat seriously.  It’s stupid, but also shameless.  And let me be clear, when it comes to low budget film making, there is a difference between between being fun and shameless, and then being outright self-deprecating.  As the series wears on, it pokes fun at itself with reckless abandon and gets a little too comfortable with the self-referential shit.  What’s worse is that it never really breaks any new ground behind the “sharks falling from the sky” concept, nor does it use its newfound fame to do something like hire a better scriptwriter or spring for some help in the FX department.

Getting back to what specifically makes The 4th Awakens such a travesty captured on celluloid, let’s take a quick look at the plethora of “-nados” featured.  Actually, it might’ve been sortta cool if they’d spent more than 2 seconds on them:

SHARKNADO

SANDSHARKNADO

BOULDERNADO

OILNADO

FIRENADO

LIGHTNING-NADO

LAVANADO

HAILNADO

COWNADO

NUEKNADO

I mean...I just...fuck.

Tommy Davidson plays some kind of corporate mogul science guy in the most annoying way possible, and all the while the film vacillates between portraying him as a sketchy businessman and a courageous do-gooder.  It’s confusing.  Plus he delivers one of the worst lines of the movie.  His advisers are telling him about how the current technology won’t work on he new “-nados” and he blurts out, “We just need a solution!”  Well no shit, Sherlock.   Then someone says some goofy shit like, “we could try adding more isotopes to the base” and he’s all like, “yeah, you go with that” in a tone that reads somewhere between facetiousness and incredulity.  The guy flits and screams in every scene he’s in like some kind of black Adam Sandler.

In the first flick, maybe even the first 2, the actors did a reasonable job of “interacting” with the green screen.  Maybe it’s because the “action” scenes were less ridiculous (hard to believe anything in Sharknado could be described as “less ridiculous” than anything else...), or maybe it’s because they just got lazy...I don’t know.  

Tara Reid - man, how far has she fallen? - delivers another atrocious line; while using her new cyborg powers to save a kid from a car, she claims to be “Iron Man’s wife” in order to comfort the kid and get him to run and find his mom.  First of all, what does being “Iron Man’s wife” have to do with getting the kid to run away and find his mom?  Secondly, where the hell did this line even come from?  It’s just goofy.  It’d be different if a joke - or even a bad joke - followed, but no, it’s just all, “I’m Iron Man’s wife, go find your mommy.”  It’s WEIRD.

Oh and Gilbert Gottfried ups the annoyance factor for good measure...to quote the first film’s tagline, “’nuff said.”

I’ve seen plenty of films from the Asylum (the production company responsible for this type of stuff), but never have I see one with such an inability to properly convey perspective.  We get a long shot of one of the various “-nados,” then our characters standing around with some wind blowing, and all of sudden they’re right next to the damn thing.  It makes very little sense.  I know we can basically chalk it up to the poor FX and CGI, but they could do a better job with the establishing shots.  Also, it can take these ‘nados 15 minutes to move 200 feet or 5 minutes to cut through 4 states.  I’m not even sure what the point is in switching locations every scene.

There is a lot of terrible dialog in the movie - among the worst I’ve ever heard in something proclaiming to be a feature film - but perhaps even more sickening is the film’s heavy-handed and absolutely pointless insertion of references to other films.

Example 1:  Being a horror nut, I found this one particularly egregious.  It actually starts off somewhat subtle and tasteful.  The gang is in Texas (they just magically hop around the country, popping up hundreds of miles away in a matter of minutes) and find themselves in need of a chainsaw.  (I’m not sure why the chainsaw became such a staple of the series; from the get-go it seemed to be directly ripping off Evil Dead’s blatant fascination with the device, and the deal was sealed when April (Reid) had her hand severed and then got some kinda mini-chainsaw robo-attachment.)  So anyway, they end up at a chainsaw shop...in Texas...run by Dog the Bounty Hunter (remember that weird-ass Hulk Hogan-Paul Hogan wannabe?) and some crazy woman.  She makes a comment about how their relative “Gunnar” uses a specific chainsaw to scare off neighborhood children.  Cut to a quick shot of Gunnar to reveal a burly, surly guy with a face etched out of granite.  Now if they’d ended the reference there, I might’ve even gone so far as to call it “clever.”  But no.

Don’t get it?  That’s ok.  References are supposed to be oblique.  I mean it doesn’t really count when they beat you over the head with it.  And that’s exactly what Sharknado 4 proceeds to do.  To explain the original reference, I’m sure most of you have heard of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the main villain, Leatherface.  Although not as well-known as Robert Englund or even Kane Hodder, big horror buffs will know the actor Gunnar Hansen as the actor who played Leatherface in the original 1974 film.  See?  At this point it was a well structured reference.  But...

The whole family ends up outside cutting up sharks with chainsaws while our main character goes and gets in a ditch-digger (it’s supposed to look like a giant chainsaw).  Dog (the Bounty Hunter) shouts, “the saw is family!” in the most unconvincing manner possible, and then the crazy woman goes, “it wouldn’t be Texas...without a chainsaw massacre!”  Ugh.  Infuckingcredible.

Example 2:  This is a crossover which leads into a reference.  Our crew meets up with some guy from SyFy’s Lavalantula movie who gives them a car named “Christine.”  Of course the giveaway (before the name drop) is painfully obvious as the quintessentially 50′s car rolls up playing quintessentially 50′s pop music, you know, those wistful teen tragedy songs.  The guest character makes all these comments about “she knows where to go” and “she’ll know how to find him later,” So what does all this business of the “living car” lead up to?  Nothing.  Literally nothing.  The world’s largest ball of twine is chasing them, but since it’s “coming too fast,” the guy stops the car, everyone gets one, and they all start running...because that’s how you outrun a massive ball of twine propelled by a tornado.  POINTLESS.

Example 3:  Here we have 3 references to the same movie.  Team goes into a house in Kansas, gets picked up by a Sharknado, and travels all the way to Chicago without someone even so much as having a brush with a shark.  Anyway, the house lands on the bitchy major, and we then see her legs, complete with striped socks and red shoes, just before her toes curl up.  Was the major even wearing this shit?  Also, the storm picks up some “yellow bricks” and then trops them, and Fin tells everyone to “follow the yellow brick road.  And then his kid’s all like, “I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore...”

More Examples:  There’s plenty more that are just stupid and out of place too.  April rescues Fin and says, “Come with me if you want to live.” (Terminator 2)  There’s a stupid, stupid “homage” to Baywatch where some chicks run in slow-mo before getting eaten.  Fin tells someone, “Don’t get cocky, kid.”  The kid pulls a mini-chainsaw out of a rock a la The Sword in the Stone.  Oh god, and then there’s a scene where April is testing out her cyborg features; her dad tells her to “use the force,” whereupon she produces a lightsaber blade from her wrist, and then says, “may the force be with you.”  What in the living hell.

I guess I could keep going on about the nonsensical choices of the characters (for example, they need a large body of water, so they pick the highly-dangerous Niagra Falls instead of like, one of the Great Lakes...or a fucking spot by the goddamn ocean), or the bad acting, or the exceedingly poor CGI, but I think it all boils down to the creative forces behind the film not giving a shit.  Instead of cutting corners due to budget concerns or other practical limitations, it was like they started cutting corners because they “needed” to make a “bad” movie.

Bottom line: this ship has sailed.  One of the things that even the worst movies have going for them is creative envelope pushing, but not here.  The gore has worn a little thin, and there’s only but so many times that it’s fun to watch sharks land on people or pull off these well-coordinated bites while zipping through the air.  The story is just an excuse to throw all these weird “shitnados” into the mix, and while they could’ve been interesting and posed some unique threats, for the most part they’re quickly glossed over.  The “nuclear sharks” are able to generate a few chuckles I suppose, as is Al Roker’s deadpan delivery of stuff like, “technically we saw a sand-sharknado.”  But overall it was just a sloppy, jumpy film that adds nothing to the series.  Besides, the only reason sharks were initially able to survive was because they were contained in waterspouts; there’s never any reason for how they stay alert and aggressive amid a dust devil, hailstorm, or flaming oil. But whatever.  I actually had a little fun watching the first two.  The third one was mildly irritating, but this fourth installment is just aggravating and insulting.

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