#Very middle-class suburban PTA conference conversation vibe

[royalarchivist]

Bad: I've been training my kid in the art of murder.

Fit: I can see that! Sheesh.

Bad: I'm gonna turn him into a little killing machine! >:D

Fit: Uh-huh. Yeah, Ramon's favorite activity is sleeping usually, so...

Bad: Really?

Fit: Yeah. He's uh, laid-back, I wouldn't say he's lazy, he's laid-back. Just like me.

Bad: Laid-back. Pretty chill, that's good. Oh, there's a village over there! I wonder if that'll have–

Chayanne: [Cucurucho voice] ʜᴀ ʜᴀ ʜᴀ

Bad: – one of the things I'm looking for. What was that?

Fit: You heard that too, right?

Chayanne: [Cucurucho voice] ɴᴏ.

Bad: What the fudge was that?

Fit: Wait, you just talk– Wait, Philza's kid just talked! Hello?

Bad: What. Is it learning how to speak??? Did you–? I literally heard that.

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]

—

Fit: Did- did– we– [He notices Phil logged back on] Oh, hold on, we gotta tell Philza we just witnessed his kid's first words!

Bad: We gotta– yeah. "Ha ha ha" and "no." Philza!

Fit: Phil Phil Phil!

Phil: There you are.

Fit: Your child spoke!

Bad: Literally!

Phil: [Laughs]

Fit: You missed its first words!

Phil: Oh my god, I just needed to go piss behind the bushes! I couldn't hold it anymore.

Fit: Just like real life, sometimes you miss out on those important moments.

Bad: Yeah...