#Verse: Aurex

[firewallofstanix]

👶 Sunbeam: "Are you looking forward to your first day of school?"

Send 👶 and a question for my muse’s child to answer!

The small Seekerling had barely grown past her sire’s knee when she was ready for her first day of formal education. Now that there was no war, educating the next generation didn’t have to be rushed, and could start at the proper age.

“Uh huh!” She answered confidently, “I make a bunch of friends!” In her perception, school was a new place to go to have fun with kids her age.

[firewallofstanix]

@thebestdecepticonleader

This feeling of hopelessness, this deep and hollow helplessness, was sadly no stranger to Firewall. Her life was littered with loss, from her guardian, Beacon, to childhood friends, and now Starscream, her dear treasured friend from the war. While he has died before and survived, this is a new kind of loss: a loss of mind. Surgery was the only way to remove the dangerous coding in the Seeker’s processor, so he wouldn’t hurt himself or violate the terms of his exile, but doing so would erase all memories of his life, from birth to present. Firewall would be nothing to him. Just a new face and that’s it. All the moments the shared, the times they dared to be vulnerable around each other, the hardships they helped each other overcome, the whole Primus-forsaken war they spent together...would be lost, along with all the pain he felt. The pain and trauma would disappear forever, and this was what Firewall would continue to tell herself as a consolation to losing her friend. It was worth it. Now, he could be happy.

Firewall laid in her hospital berth, nursing the injury she sustained from Sharpshooter’s near fatal attack. Starscream was allowed for one final visit with her before being prepared for the surgery. This would be her last opportunity to tell him everything, while it still mattered. Guards or no guards, she had to relish every nanosecond of this meeting.

[firewallofstanix]

It’s time to ramble about my OTP: Firewall and Starscream.

I didn’t even plan on Firewall falling in love with @thebestdecepticonleader‘s Starscream, and I think that actually helped it become more realistic in nature. I still remember their first threads together, how he would continue to exceed her expectations of a Con’s relationship with a subordinate. He was so understanding of her, and he displayed mercy to her, even on the brink of his betrayal. Looking back, it seems that even after being mind-jacked and driven to near insanity, he reserved a place in his spark for her. I’m giving him a break for when he was actually insane during most of Cybertron.

And then he comes back from being insane and is still mentally unstable-- and still allows her to get close to him?? As surprising and lovely as this was to me, following threads that were set in the past put this into perspective: they knew and got close to each other before the Minicon Battles. What started out as a coding glitch in Firewall’s mind turned into genuine respect and admiration, which turned into friendship once they thought they could get away with it. Starscream earned all that, and it could be argued that she was as loyal to him as she was to Megatron (Spoiler: she was).

Firewall was his anchor in times of suffering, someone to turn to when it all felt like too much. He was her compass, someone she trusted to lead her in the right direction. No, she didn’t approve of his emotional outbursts, especially against Megatron, but she only objected with respect and concern. Though she was outranked by him, Starscream held her with highest regard, and she was eventually the most important person in his life. The only one he could trust.

He still let her in, because no matter what you can do to his mind, his love for her never faltered. Cliché as that sounds, of course Starscream is going to desperately hang onto the one aspect of his life that was good. His life is a big pit-fire, with no happy ending in sight. So once he sees a light in the darkness, a light that accepts him for who he is and sees him as a person and not a monster or a weakling, he is going to hold onto that and never let go.

And Firewall, the one afraid to make friends for fear of them dying, afraid to step out of line in any way, couldn’t help but become close to Starscream, despite rank, faction, and risk of hurt. And it did hurt-- watching him die, get corrupted by the Omega Lock, then almost lose his life again, hurt like her spark was being torn out. But she stayed. Here is a mech who’s competent, tactful, trustworthy, and actually caring (albeit secretly), in a sea of trigger-happy, blood-thirsty brutes. She knew he deserved better, even when she was loyal to Megatron; even through slave coding, her love for him endured. It was that love that became the catalyst for breaking through the brainwashing, just as her parental love for her guardian almost was during the war. At this point, nothing would waver her loyalty to him. Starscream became just as important to her as Cybertron itself. 

She made Starscream her mission. Protect him at all costs; stay alive so you can fight for him. Comfort him, prevent him from acting irrationally. After losing so many of her friends (and her hero complex made her believing that was her responsibility to prevent), losing Starscream felt like she failed him. When she got him back, she held onto him so tightly, she was sacrificing her own mental stability to stay close to him. Finally, when they were separated, she was able to put things into perspective-- her hero complex and her PTSD from watching him die. Firewall regained a sound mind, yet she still vowed to return to him-- not out of obligation or paranoia, but from a genuine desire to stay by his side. She wanted to stay with him forever, even though he was banished from Cybertron and its colony worlds. Even though Starscream lost all memories, she couldn’t help but return to him. Her loyalty remained, just as it did after the coding glitch that started it all. And by then, her loyalty was correctly refined and strengthen by the pureness of her love for him. The mech she fell in love with was still himself, even without his knowledge of all their history together; and sure enough, his love returned as well. They were meant to be together no matter what, even in rebirth, physical and mental.

Just the amount of passion and dedication in this ship is so inspiring and beautiful. Something so pure and wonderful could blossom from these scarred, tortured, and highly flawed individuals. They outgrew who the war had made them and helped each other out of their worst states. Nothing could claim them as long as they had each other.

[firewallofstanix]

Forelsket: The euphoria experienced as you begin to fall in love

Send a ship and a non-translatable word as a prompt:

Forelsket: The euphoria experienced as you begin to fall in love

🛡  With each goodbye Firewall had given Starscream throughout her life, the more she missed him, and the more her worry for his safety increased. Still, every time the two had parted ways, an equally as pleasant reunion followed. After Starscream was sent away from Cybertron behind her back, Firewall feared she would never see him again; but, the past would show the femme that not even death could keep them apart. If she had believed in fate, Firewall would have realized that they were meant to stay together. Meant to be one.

After vorns of working through her trauma, being reduced to having a comm link as her only form of contact with her former commander, she was finally able to handle seeing him again. There he was, standing in the midst of a clearing, waiting for her to arrive; the elation in her spark when she ran to him could only be rivaled by the time he returned from the dead. Only now, there was no shock, no flashbacks from the sight of him. There was only ecstasy, joy– limitless joy as she leaped into his arms, tears gathering in her optics. Starscream was all hers now.

From then on, Firewall could hardly leave her friend’s side every time she visited him. They flew together, played games together, laughed together– and what a surprisingly charming laugh he had, one that Firewall had never heard before in all the vorns she knew him. A charming laugh to match his…beautiful smile. Every part of him, every word he spoke, every little thing Starscream did captivated Firewall. Even the way he flew had her mesmerized. 

Then came the wing preening. For the first time, they cleaned each other’s wings, and it felt so good to Firewall, so relaxing– but in an entirely new way. She practically melted into his touch, and would have fallen into his arms if she could have gotten away with it. The thought made her spark soar, and her fluttering wings soon followed, threatening to betray her secrecy. Ever since that day, her visits were full of different touching: hand-holding, hugging, and staying near each other for warmth. It still wasn’t enough for Firewall, though, for she longed for something more: a desire had come in her mind to kiss him.

As these thoughts increased in number and strength, the femme became scared. Was she falling back on old tendencies to protect him? Was this desire for connection influenced by her trauma in some way? That couldn’t be so, could it? Her old impulses to save Starscream were accompanied by fear and panic. What she felt now was…wonderful. The thoughts of him made her happy, if a bit self conscious. Nothing before had ever felt like this…or did it? Perhaps…there might have been a time, back on Cybertron, where she found herself admiring Starscream from afar. How commanding he looked; how regal he stood; how shapely his wings were… Firewall had thought such admiration was normal, as a subordinate should have for her commander. But she never felt that way towards any other of high rank. No one was ever as special to her as Starscream was. No one nearly as amazing as he…

That must be it. Firewall was falling in love.

[firewallofstanix]

🔥 It all happened so quickly. Did this really happen? Was she seeing this correctly? He was there just a moment ago -- just one moment -- and then her whole world came crashing down. Fate had descended upon him with raw power, a force of which no mortal had the means to stop, and all she could do was watch. Watch as parts and pieces get pulled apart to the very atom. His very essence was stripped away before her eyes. Then there was nothing left. Nothing but a smoking crater.

There was one piercing shriek of terror bursting from her throat during the moment, but after that was silence. She couldn't bring herself to talk, yell, even cry out in anguish. Shock had silenced her, froze her; only the faint sound of her rapid breathing could be heard from her.

This just couldn't be. That crater she was staring in horror at couldn't possibly be all that was left of him. Why him, why him... That was it-- that was the last anyone will see of him again. It's all over...

Finally, she broke free of her stiffness and edged a foot forward. Hands shaking, tears now streaming silently down her fear-stricken face, she inched closer to the crater as her feet dragged along the dusty ground.

Someone heard her, someone she forgot was ever at the site. His sober face hardened as he turned to her. What was this person doing here? How dare she follow him. "You! Soldier! Get back to base this instant!" He barked at her.

She jumped, unlocking her gaze from the ground to see who was yelling at her. It's him. She must comply. But she can't...she can't just leave. One foot started backing up, stiffly sliding on the ground, but then went back to its position and even went forward. She was disobeying. This was unbelievable...but she pressed on. How could one be expected to simply walk away from this? It's just too much to ask.

"I gave you and order, now do as I say and fall back!" he shouted, but to no avail.

"Wait," another intervened, stepping between them, "I'll talk to her."

"My soldiers are none of your concern, Prime."

"Yelling at her won't help. She's distraught; she needs to be explained the situation, calmly." Disagreeing, the first one huffed, but soon gave in.

In the time it took for the conversation to conclude, she had reached the crater and fallen to her knees, her tears staining floor beneath her. She racked her brain of ways she could reverse this, but there was no solution. If only she had gotten here sooner; she could have stopped him, pushed him out of the way -- done something that would have saved him. Guilt now accompanied her paralyzing fear and anguish.

This was how she was when she was finally approached by a calming presence. Only, this presence had the face of the enemy -- the leader of them all. She scrambled away a few feet when she caught sight of him, weakly shielding herself with her hand and pleading with her eyes not to be hurt. Her expression was met with one of pity and sympathy; he had no intention of harming her, or intimidating her in any way. "It's okay, Firewall. I'm not going to hurt you." He displayed his peaceful intentions by slowly kneeling to her level. "...I am truly sorry for your loss... We lost a good mech today. There will be time to grieve for him...but right now we have to work on finding a way to defeat Unicron. If we don't act soon, this sacrifice will be in vain. ...Can we count on you to help us?"

Her lip quivered. Her whole planet was at stake, but it was so difficult to focus. Even if the world was saved, how much duller it will be without he whom she could have called friend. Turning her head, she covered her face so he couldn't see her finally start to sob. Then, she felt a hand on her shoulder, and heard gentle words, "It's alright... Come with us, and we'll figure out what to do when we get there."

Still too ashamed to look the other in the eye, she shakily rose with him to her feet and started to make the long journey back -- when she stopped in her tracks. Turning around, she walked past the crater to a sword stabbed into the ground. She pulled it out and took it with her. The heaviness of the sword mattered not to her. Nothing would weigh more than the grief she now carried, and that was a weight that could never be lifted away.

[firewallofstanix]

🛡 None of this felt right to her. If felt like farce. Basing something as crucial as peace between factions on a forced union was, in Firewall’s opinion, a terrible idea with even worse consequences if it fails-- when it fails. Far be it from her to be disloyal to her leader, but Megatron wasn’t infallible; he is capable of making mistakes, and this was certainly one of them.

Who was this Autobot anyway? One of Prime’s soldiers, apparently, but it must be one who was only recently promoted. Starscream never mentioned anyone by that name, so Firewall doubted her commander had a favorable opinion of the chosen ‘fiancé’. Just another Autobot -- possibly picked at random -- to join with one of the most valuable soldiers in the Decepticon army. Compatibility probably wasn’t even considered. This will never last, the femme thought, doubting Primus himself would approve of this.

Firewall put on a face as well as she could, not even knowing that Starscream was doing the same. He had her fooled that he was completely accepting of this, so she had to keep her doubts even from him. It was imperative that no one knew her true thoughts, at least for now, lest she start the unraveling of this plan even sooner. 

Still, try as she might, there was no erasing the pang in her chest. Firewall never felt this kind of pang before, even with other worries. Perhaps it was because so much was riding on this union, and that it was only a matter of time until the fighting resumes; on the other hand, she was also more critical of everything, and extremely judgmental of the Autobot, who couldn’t possibly make Starscream happy…not how she could...

…Was she jealous?

The more Firewall thought about it, the more she found herself analyzing her own feelings, causing even more confusion. The closer the big day came, the stronger her feelings resonated inside her; the doubt, the fear, the secret desire to be the one promised to Starscream… This couldn’t be. He was her commanding officer, and they would never be allowed to share any kind of romantic relationship. She was lucky to get this close to him, after the coding accident she had.

Sadly, whatever the lowly femme felt didn’t matter. This union would commence with or without her approval. The best Firewall could do at this point was push back her emotions and stop entertaining thoughts that could get her in trouble.

[firewallofstanix]

[get to know me meme] 20, 31, 52, 71, 98

Get to Know Me Uncomfortably Well (modified for TF)

20. Are you religious?

“If you are asking if there is any being I worship, the answer would be none. I do believe in Primus and Unicron’s existence, and acknowledge their immense power, but they are no gods. I suppose, as of now, I have no religion…though…I have wondered, on occasion, if there was some omnipotent force somewhere, that has ensured that the universe would not end before its time…”

31. What position do you usually recharge in?

“By force of habit, I spend most nights recharging on my back. It was the most efficient position during the war, so all my surroundings would stay in view, and it would be more difficult to catch me off guard. Some nights, though, I find that I moved in my sleep and turned to my side. I laid like that more frequently before I enlisted.”

52. Favorite way to have your energon?

“I typically just drink standard energon in a cube, sometimes with added minerals for nutrition. That isn’t to say I don’t enjoy flavoring my energon. On the contrary, actually– I quite like sweetened and flavored variants. Copper, mercury, cobalt, frozen coolant, whipped foam, and much more that don’t come to mind right now.”

72. Are you scared of the dark?

“Not exactly. Of course, there is always something unsettling about it, but my optics are well-suited to work in the dark, and I can also activate my headlights. If my visibility somehow lessens, I just stay on guard until I can find some light. The amount of fear also depends on the situation, somewhat.”

98. Do you collect anything?

“I collect crystals, as a part of my growing study of them. I keep them in a small case in my habsuite. Now that the war is over, I have more freedom to expand my study and my collection. I plan on making a trip to Earth soon, so that I can see some of those crystals up close; I hear Earth has a wide variety of types that aren’t found on Cybertron, and with that in mind, I am actually anticipating the trip.”

[firewallofstanix]

How about Starscream and Thundercracker for the heart meme?

Drop me a character’s name and I’ll reveal my muse’s heart…

EEeeee, thank you for sending something in! (srsly why are you awesome)

So, this is for @windnreign​‘s TC and @thebestdecepticonleader​‘s Starscream, in two separate AUs.

💔 Non-existent💗 Very low💗💗 A little💗💗💗 Hopeful💗💗💗💗 High💗💗💗💗💗 Maximum

Thundercracker:

VISUAL ATTRACTIVENESS: 💗💗 (purely aesthetic appreciation of looks)

Firewall does appreciate how TC works in the orange and blue with the shades of grey, and especially the how the orange brings out his optics. Though, having a big and important part of your alt mode that doubles as a laser canon resting on your forearm does make her question.

FRIENDSHIP LEVEL: 💗💗💗 (how close a friend they consider them)

The two of them started to get along pretty well during Cybertron (and maybe Energon in a side story I wanna plan someday). Knowing that it wasn’t her fault for TC not contacting her all these vorns, Firewall wants to pick things up where they left off. At the same time, though, she’s too nervous to move forward.

ROMANTIC INTENT: 💗(hoping for a romantic relationship)

If anything’s there, it hasn’t surfaced yet. But that isn’t to say that his rise in maturity (and maybe the twinkle in his optics) wouldn’t cause her to look twice…

Firewall would have two or three hearts for wanting physical contact; she might reassuringly rest her servo on his shoulder…and she might want a hug.

Starscream:

VISUAL ATTRACTIVENESS: 💗💗(purely aesthetic appreciation of looks)

Starscream’s frame really is unique, and the colors work well, but it seems somewhat top-heavy with a little too much going on. What she likes more than his frame is his face, especially his smile. His facial features just compliment each other so well. …Okay, that would earn him half a heart more, but I can’t make one of those.

FRIENDSHIP LEVEL: 💗💗💗💗 (how close a friend they consider them)

Firewall has admitted to herself that she platonically loves him. They have been through a lot together, and their relationship has survived Starscream’s death, corruption, and memory loss, and Firewall’s post-war issues. If that doesn’t solidify a friendship, I don’t know what else it would take. She has considered making him her Amica Endura…

ROMANTIC INTENT: 💗💗 (hoping for a romantic relationship)

…but something has been blossoming inside her that is making her rethink everything, and she doesn’t even know what it is yet. It started after their second reunion, but it may have been inside her for longer. Let’s hope she’s ready for when she discovers the reason behind some of her actions and feelings.

Desire for physical contact would be four or five hearts. Firewall just loves Starscream’s hugs; nothing’s ever really made her that happy, at least in that way. And that much is platonic. So is wing stroking, but that might venture into romantic territory as well.

[firewallofstanix]

Looks like a cinnamon roll and is actually a cinnamon roll

Put which one from the Cinnamon Roll meme my muse is:

She wasn’t expecting that, but seeing who said that, it made more sense. A small smile grew on her face, and her wings flicked slowly. “Thank you, Starscream. I’m really touched.”

[firewallofstanix]

~ Goodbyes were always so h a r d.

For it to become even more difficult felt unfair. To already be such a slave to emotion -- something that was not so a few years ago -- and add one more aspect of life to struggle with, was precisely the opposite of what she was hoping for herself. She had spent enough time as a slave, but how can she escape this master -- her own inner demons? Her own memories? Every time, every other time she and another parted ways, disaster followed.

She left her caretaker to join the war. Her home town was obliterated.

 She watched friends transfer from her outpost. They weren’t seen again.

  She let her comrade handle things on his own. She watched him d i e.

   She abandoned her faction. Their leader almost killed them.

How is even possible to let someone go after all that happened -- and those only a handful of the examples? The simplest parting of ways could lead to a fatal outcome. If she stays with them a moment longer, maybe she can avoid a tragedy. If only she had stayed all those times before…that would have made a difference, right? She could have helped the situation -- she could have helped her friends…right?

There will always be a lingering thought in the back of her head that she could have done more. That leaving them when she did was wrong. That she can make sure it never happens again. 

One of the hardest things she will find herself doing from now on is saying     g o o d b y e… 

[firewallofstanix]

Alstroemeria, Bird of Paradise, Bells of Ireland, Chrysanthemum General, Daffodil, Gladiolus, Morning Glory Red, Rose Dark Pink, Rose Red, Rose Yellow. Yes it is a lot of flowers but he has a lot of feelings.

Send my muse some flowers to convey your muse’s feelings towards them!

Alstroemeria– FriendshipBird of Paradise– JoyfulnessBells of Ireland– Good LuckChrysanthemum General– You’re a Wonderful FriendDaffodil– Rebirth, New BeginningsGladiolus– Strength of Character, HonorMorning Glory Red– AttachmentRose Dark Pink– ThankfulnessRose Red– Love, RespectRose Yellow– Joy, Friendship

For the longest time, she wondered what Thundercracker had thought of her. She still feared that he would hold something against her, or lose some of his trust in her. But…Look at all he sent her. He was joyful to see her; he considered her strong and honorable. He was attached to her? …He loved her?

“Thundercracker, I… I don’t know what I did to deserve such a loyal friend like you. Thank you for accepting me. You’re wonderful..” 

[firewallofstanix]

Daffodil, Gladiolus, Lilly-Of-The-Valley, Rose Yellow, Tulip Red and Violet White.

Send my muse some flowers to convey your muse’s feelings towards them!

Daffodil– Rebirth, New BeginningsGladiolus– Strength of Character, HonorLilly-Of-The-Valley– Sweetness, Return to Happiness, You’ve Made My Life CompleteRose Yellow– Joy, FriendshipTulip Red– Declaration of LoveViolet White– Let’s Take a Chance on Happiness

Firewall beamed with happiness, touched at how highly Starscream thought of her. Each one warmed her spark. But, what he meant with the Tulip, she had to think about for a moment. Probably a love of friendship, but that was still something big to admit to. Firewall almost wanted to reveal her spark chamber right there, but…it was too soon for that.

There was a bit of hesitation. She’s never said this before. “You’ve enriched my life as well, Starscream. I’m grateful to have you as a friend. …I love you, too.”

[firewallofstanix]

[meme] How do you feel about those that left everything after the war, even if they were on the winning side? Leaving the planet and their new homes, their friends and their past, everything. The guys that want nothing to do with anyone ever again, or just want to be gone from it all.

Ask my character “How do you feel about ______?” Can be an idea, person(s), place, or thing, and they’ll have to answer honestly.

Firewall grew pensive, contemplating that quite detailed question. If she hadn’t been in that position herself, she would have had more difficulty understanding mecha who would choose to do that. Fortunately, her experience meant that she had an insightful answer.

“There are some instances where the memories of war are too great a burden on a person. Instances where every aspect of their life serves as a reminder of all they’re trying to move on from, and bringing themselves to face even close friends is a challenge. Presonally, I could not shut myself away from a loved one forever…but I cannot say that it is beyond my understanding. All they want peace. We can only hope that one day, they will attain that peace so they can come back home.”

[firewallofstanix]

Okay, how's this for rp tags:

RP: Aurex | main RP: Aurex | au

Options for crossovers: RP: Aurex | crossover RP: Aurex | Aligned crossover RP: Aurex/Aligned crossover

If it pertains to Firewall outside of RP, then it’d be ‘Verse’ instead or ‘RP’, and none of the stuff after, e.g. ‘Verse: Aurex’. That sound good?

[firewallofstanix]

[url meme] matrixbearer?

(( Reblogging it worked yay!! ))

Send me a URL and I will answer the following: 

Do I Follow Them?: YesWhy Did I Follow Them?: Cuz I wanted to rp with them, and that’s what the rules said if I wanted to. :3Do We Role Play?: Aaa not yet. (That reminds me, I gotta send out messages to ask about plotting.)Do I Want To Role Play With Them: That’s why I followed them! :D An AU Idea For Our Muses: I can’t think of AUs yet, and right now I’m just torn between a Prime crossover or just staying in-universe, cuz the mun rps just about every Optimus. The possibilities are (nearly) endless. :oA Song For Our Muses: I haven’t thought of any yet, but now I want to, so I’ll post a vid of one later if I can remember. Do I Ship Our Muses?: In Aurex-verse, it might have been a stray thought of mine, but it’s not something I entertained for very long. Buuuut, anything can happen…What I Think About The Mun: Very funny and friendly, and one day I wish to be as eloquent as you. I just love how much you put into Optimus’s character; maybe you should just go work for Hasbro and start writing him. (And your duck icons are the cutest things asdfg) (..When did I switch to second-person answers?)Overall Opinion: A very thought through and detailed portrayal of Optimus, mun is so dedicated to robo-dad. Everything is just so beautiful and meaningful. I still don’t know how they noticed me first. 

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