#Vanessa seems like the type to love mini golf doesn’t she?

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF movie Vanessa wants to play with Monty

[revisitingstoneybrook]

#8 Boy-Crazy Stacey: Chapter 8

Today, the Pikes torture the local mini-golf course.

FINALLY. A postcard from Mary Anne! And she writes a lot more than Stacey. Anyway, this one is to Kristy and she talks about them going to play mini-golf. She also thinks taking care of eight kids isn't any harder than taking care of two or three because while the kids argue and tease, they help each other. Yeah, the BSC Kool-Aid has definitely gotten to her. Oooh, and she slips in some digs at Stacey at the end - she calls Stacey a pain and tells Kristy to NEVER show her the postcard. I guess this makes good blackmail material to keep Mary Anne in the BSC. "If you think of quitting, I'll show Stacey that nasty postcard you wrote about her!"

We skip Wednesday (which probably consisted of more going to the beach without Dee and John, Stacey flirting with Scott, and Mary Anne being left to watch the Pike Army alone), because this chapter takes place on Thursday. And, what do you know, it's raining and crappy out. Stacey pouts about how it should have rained on Scott's day off and I roll my eyes.

At breakfast, John announces they're taking a trip to Smithtown. The kids all start to whine and groan and they say Smithtown is boring. They don't want to go and Vanessa decides to torture us all by saying, “I always wear a frown when I go to Smithtown.”

John describes it for Stacey and Mary Anne - Smithtown is a restored colonial village, kind of in the same vein as Williamsburg or Sturbridge. Now I’ve always been a history buff so even as a kid, I’d be cool with going there. Mary Anne seems to agree with me and acts very interested and Stacey says, “That was just the kind of thing that would interest her.” Ouch. Was that a dig at her?

The Pike Army still doesn't want to go and I guess because she sees this as an opportunity to sneak off and once again rediscover the spark in their marriage, Dee tells the kids they don't have to go with them. Everyone's thrilled except Mary Anne. I'm surprised Mallory isn't bummed either because she always struck me as the history buff type. So Mr. and Mrs. Pike give Mary Anne and Stacey some money and they drive off.

Within an hour, everyone's bored. There's no TV in the house (the BSC is forbidden from letting charges watch it, so not like that would make a difference) and they run out of stuff to do. The kids try coloring and reading and playing tag, and Mallory goes upstairs to sit on the window seat and watch the ocean. Finally, Stacey suggests going into town, since it isn't raining. She probably wants to go on the prowl, looking for Scott, but they all agree to go play mini-golf at Fred's Putt-Putt.

Now I love playing mini-golf, but reading about it is another story. I'll keep it brief. So they get there and Stacey rolls her eyes when Claire calls Nicky a silly-billy-goo-goo. She's probably just embarrassed that Scott will walk by and see her with the Pike Army. I wonder if she wore the whistle.

Ok, now here is where Mary Anne and Stacey borrow a page from Kristy's book and show zero logic. All TEN of them line up to play mini-golf together as one group. Did it occur to them that they would take forever to play through that way? And considering Stacey said the course was crowded it's rude to the other people.

Sure enough, Claire takes 27 strokes to get the ball into the hole and a couple behind them asks if they can play through. Stacey's about to say yes, then Margo throws a tantrum saying it's her turn. The guy lets Margo play, she takes 11 strokes to get the ball in and Stacey lets him and his wife go through before he goes Happy Gilmore on the Pike Army.

They finally get past the first hole and move onto the second. Nicky gets a hole-in-one and I'm sure he's happy because the triplets finally acknowledge him by offering their congratulations. Then they go back to treating him like garbage. Once again, everyone else takes forever to finish up and by now, they have a family waiting impatiently behind them. Mary Anne then realizes ,"Hey...we should spilt into groups so we don't end up with a putt-putt club wrapped around our necks!" so they split up. Lucky Stacey ends up with Claire and Margo.

They end up stuck on the third hole for a half hour while Claire takes 37 STROKES to get the ball in. Margo announces they should have a 20-stroke limit (20?!?!?! I play with a 5-stroke limit at the most!) and before Claire can throw one of her patented "NOFE AIR!!!!!" tantrums, Stacey explains that you want a low score. Regardless, they still end up moving through the course slowly, with the two other groups finishing before them. They go off to explore the nearby shops, while Stacey's group finishes up.

By the time they get to the 16th hole, Claire and Margo whine that they don't want to play anymore. Stacey informs us Claire's score is over 200 at this point. She's also sick of mini-golf, so they go right to the ball return, where you hit the ball down a chute and it gets returned to the shop. And, of course, Claire happens to be the 500th person to return their ball that week, so sirens go off and lights flash and Fred himself gives Claire two free passes. The girls want to use them right away (I thought they didn't want to play anymore?) but Stacey tells them they can use them the next time it rains. Claire calls Stacey a silly-billy-goo-goo and Stacey says she's one too. They then leave to find the others.

God, that was a painful chapter. Who knew mini-golf could be so dull?